'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Reader Link
'Thomas Crapper'
Another contribution to things lavatorial - Thomas Crapper
Thanks, Michelle!
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
Reader Link
'Saddam vs. Bush'
Hi Marty,
This link is a site in Paris (Saddam vs. Bush). It's
not too large, if you find a few spare minutes, you
should check it out.
Saddam vs. Bush
Tim
Thanks, Tim!
Reader Comment
Re: Marty Beckerman
"Generation S.L.U.T."
I just saw this joker on Bill O'Reilly's show the other night.
I'm not crazy about kids acting out sexually either, but Beckerman
and O'Scumbag sat there and blamed it ALL on the women's movement!
(Yeah, right - putting prayer back in public schools and women back
in the kitchen will solve all of the world's problems and make things
safe for the Bush Family Evil Empire.)
When the lady they had on there tried to express her opinion,
O'Sleazy did what he always does to anyone who doesn't march lockstep
with his view of the world...cut her off!
O'Reilly is such a pompous ass and this Beckerman guy reminded me of
an older Arnold Horshack, only not as nice!
Terry C
NJ
Thanks, Terry!
Depends on The Definition of "Stockpile"
Dr. Paul's Words of Wisdom
Thanks, Mark!
Reader Link
Our Tax Dollars At Work
Hi Marty,
Lately I haven't felt safe from the "Evil Doers", but
tonight I read this story and NOW I know I'm being
protected. April 15th doesn't bother me a bit now that
I see how well my tax dollars are being spent.
Our Tax Dollars At Work
Tim
Thanks, Tim!
The Wall Street Poet
Rumplebushkin
Rumplestilskin was a fairytale character with the ability to spin straw into gold. For some reason this curious talent makes me think of President Bush and his policy "successes." The fact that the fairy tale Rumplestilskin was created by brothers named Grimm seemed another reason to write the following poem...
Rumplebushkin
Rumplebushkin, Rumplebushkin,
By the experts I've been told,
There's no policy disaster,
That you can't spin into gold.
"Oh, I'm really not that cunning,"
Rumplebuskin did reply.
"I just emphasize the upside,
It's a viewpoint, not a lie."
Rumplebushkin, I've been hearing
Awful stories 'bout Iraq.
It's become a huge quagmire,
A good exit plan we lack.
"Not at all," said Rumplebushkin,
"That's a media canard.
Freedom's growing like a weed there,
Other stories discard."
Some have said, good Rumplebuskin,
That you simply can't explain
How this debt-based recent boomlet
We can possibly sustain.
"There's a lot of ups and downs
With our huge economy,
What's important is that this year
An uptick will sus-tain me."
Rumplebushkin, 'bout your helpers
There is much unpleasant talk,
There's that Rummy, and that Ashcroft,
Are you gonna make 'em walk?
"Loyalty to me is sacred,
Faithful helpers I'll protect.
But if they should opt to leave me
I could take it, what the heck."
You're much smarter than you let on,
Some now say that you are slick.
Even those who would replace you
Think your shtick's a clever trick.
"Shucks, 'taint nothing," smiled 'Bushkin.
"If you want to con the rubes,
Spout religion, wave Old Glory,
Saturate the TV tubes."
© 2004
**********
For more political verse:
www.beltwaybard.com
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Yesterday I was bitching because it was 101° - cripes, today it was 103° - and I'm within 3 miles of the coast. Further inland it must be brutal.
Last week the kid's teacher challenged the class to turn off TV & their computers for a week.
He's really picky about TV, so that wasn't too hard - but giving up his computer...anyway, he did it!
Tonight he celebrated with a marathon of 'Zoo Tycoon'.
Irish musician Sir Bob Geldof poses with Yoko Ono, widow of the late Beatle John Lennon, before the Beck's Futures 2004 awards ceremony in London Tuesday April 27, 2004.
Photo by Max Nash
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Indecency Crackdown Affects 'NYPD Blue'
Steven Bochco
As "NYPD Blue" rolls to the end of its 11th and penultimate season, the gritty cop drama has found a foe that it can't compete with in the federal government.
The so-called indecency crackdown has hit "NYPD Blue" hard, Bochco explains. At ABC's insistence, the show has been forced over the past two months to alter or eliminate visuals in four sex scenes. "We've also had to dial back some of our language issues," says Steven Bochco.
Bochco relates these facts with more sadness and resignation than outrage, like a man who cannot believe he's still fighting the same battles nearly 25 years after bringing "Hill Street Blues" to NBC. He's philosophical about it -- but not at all pleased.
Even though "NYPD Blue" was recently renewed for a 12th and final season, Bochco warned "this will be 'NYPD Blue's' last year" is the crackdown does not let up.
"If we have to keep reining ourselves in like this, it just wouldn't be worth continuing to do the show."
For more, Steven Bochco
Memorabilia Set for Auction
Barbra Streisand
Hundreds of pieces of memorabilia from Barbra Streisand's career will be auctioned off June 5, with proceeds going to charities that the Streisand Foundation supports.
More than 400 items will make up the auction at Astra West in the Pacific Design Center in West Hollywood, with simultaneous bids taken online, auction coordinator Darren Julien said Monday.
The auction, dubbed "Her Name is Barbra," will feature famous items that trace the career of the singer and actress from the early 1960s to today, Julien said.
Barbra Streisand
To Honor Dead U.S. Soldiers
'Nightline'
Ted Koppel will devote the entire half-hour of "Nightline" Friday to reading names and showing photographs of the more than 500 U.S. servicemen and women killed in action in Iraq, ABC announced Wednesday.
Each service member's photo will be shown, along with his or her name, military branch, rank and age as Koppel reads the name aloud. Since the ABC News broadcast is just 30 minutes, it will include only those killed in action in Iraq since March 19, 2003, as certified by the Defense Department.
'Nightline'
www.militarycity.com/valor
Actors Michael Caine (L) and Steve Martin pose for photographers as they arrive at The Film Society of Lincoln Center Gala Tribute honoring Caine in New York, April 26, 2004.
Photo by Dave Allocca
'We Are the Future'
Quincy Jones
Nearly 20 years after recording the ground-breaking charity album "We Are the World," producer Quincy Jones is at it again -- assembling an all-star ensemble concert to raise money for children's centers in war-ravaged cities.
"We Are the Future" will be held in Rome on May 16 at Circus Maximus, site of the city's ancient chariot races.
Quincy Jones
Performing With Music Students
Elton John
Elton John is providing students from the Juilliard School and London's Royal Academy of Music with some after-school activity - they'll be performing with him at Radio City Music Hall.
The all-student orchestra, along with a choir, is scheduled to perform with John during his concerts at the renowned hall July 13-18. The entertainer, who attended the Royal Academy as a child, will also donate proceeds from the first concert to the Elton John Musical Scholarship at his alma mater and to fund a scholarship program at the Juilliard School.
Elton John
Offers Aid to Montreal School
Russell Crowe
Tough guy actor Russell Crowe was so upset by a fire-bombing at a Jewish elementary school in Montreal, he called the school to offer a donation to help rebuild its library, a school spokeswoman said on Tuesday.
Crowe is in Toronto to film "Cinderella Man," a film directed by Ron Howard about the life of boxer James J. Braddock, who defeated world champion Max Baer in an upset match in 1935.
The arson attack sparked outrage in Canada and prompted a fierce condemnation from Prime Minister Paul Martin. The incident was one of a series of attacks on Jewish targets in Canada and raised concerns about a rise in anti-Semitism.
Russell Crowe
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Brings Funk to Viacom Stations Tonight
Prince
"Prince: the Art of Musicology" will air on MTV, MTV2, VH1, VH1 Classic and BET at 9 p.m. ET., the first time the five Viacom cable channels will simulcast a program.
Recorded before an audience at New York City's Webster Hall, the program features Prince performing material from his latest album, "Musicology," as well as an acoustic medley of classics. "Musicology" was released April 20 on NPG Records/Columbia.
Prince
Johnny Grant, left, honorary mayor of Hollywood, helps Jan and Mickey Rooney unveil their star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Los Angeles, Monday, April 26, 2004. The Rooneys received the star in the live performance category.
Photo by Ann Johansson
Honored on Avenue of Stars
Chan & Lee
Action star Jackie Chan and the late martial arts actor Bruce Lee were among Hong Kong's entertainment elite honored in the territory's new harbor-front Avenue of Stars that opened Tuesday.
The tourist attraction pays tribute to Hong Kong's past and present stars by featuring their names and hand prints in a 1,452-feet long strip.
Chan & Lee
Baby News
Hudson & Julitta Dee Harden Scheel
Marcia Gay Harden, who won a supporting-actress Academy Award for 2000's "Pollock," gave birth to twins, her Los Angeles-based publicist said Tuesday.
The 44-year-old and her husband, Thaddaeus Scheel, had a boy, Hudson Harden Scheel, and a girl, Julitta (Ju-LEE-tah) Dee Harden Scheel, last Thursday in New York.
Hudson & Julitta Dee Harden Scheel
'American Idol' Vote Is 'Racist'
Elton John
British Rock star Elton John, a guest judge this month on the U.S. talent hunt TV series "American Idol," said on Tuesday that he found the voting by the national viewing audience "incredibly racist."
"The three people I was really impressed with, and they just happened to be black, young female singers, and they all seem to be landing in the bottom three," said John, commenting on the tally in which the lowest vote-getter is eliminated.
"They have great voices. The fact that they're constantly in the bottom three -- and I don't want to set myself up here -- but I find it incredibly racist," John said at a news conference promoting his Radio City Music Hall concert backed by an orchestra of students from London's Royal Academy of Music and The Juilliard School of New York.
Elton John
Divorce News
Halle Berry
Actress Halle Berry has filed for divorce from her husband, R&B singer Eric Benet, a spokeswoman said.
The couple were married about three years and separated in October. This is the second divorce for the actress, who was previously married to Cleveland Indians outfielder David Justice.
Halle Berry
Finale Ads Fetch Record $2 Million Each
'Friends'
There's nothing more golden than the value of old "Friends" -- especially when they're about to say farewell.
The NBC television network is fetching an average $2 million per 30 seconds of commercial time for the highly anticipated May 6 finale of the 10-year-old smash hit "Friends," the most ever paid for a sitcom episode, industry experts said on Tuesday.
'Friends'
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
More Bad 'Reality' TV
Kathy Hilton
On the heels of the success of daughter Paris on Fox's The Simple Life, Kathy Hilton will be featured in NBC's The Good Life, which is vying for a spot on the fall line-up. Kathy will coach 10 young women on how to comfortably fit into the world of the rich and powerful. One contestant will be eliminated each week.
Given that The Good Life was a name already used for two failed NBC sitcoms (one in 1971-72 with Larry Hagman and Donna Mills; the other with comedian John Caponera in 1994), the network may want to call this series something else.
Kathy Hilton
An insurgent holds up a poster advertising a purported reward of $15US million for the heads of either U.S. Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld (R), coalition forces commander Lieutenant-General Ricardo Sanchez or military spokesman Brigadier-General Mark Kimmitt in the besieged city of Falluja, April 27, 2004. There was no way to check the seriousness of the leaflet.
Photo by Akram Saleh
Up for Sale
'Mary Tyler Moore House'
The "Mary Tyler Moore House" is up for sale with an asking price of nearly $1.7 million.
Although actress Mary Tyler Moore never set foot in the house during the show's production, exterior shots of the 112-year-old home were used in "The Mary Tyler Moore Show" during the show's run in the 1970s. The fictional character Mary Richards lived in a third-floor apartment.
'Mary Tyler Moore House'
Vermont Town Awaits Word
Phish
Town officials say they're ready to play host this August to as many as 70,000 young people if promoters win state and federal permits to hold a Phish concert in town.
The Burlington-born jam band has held six weekend festivals, drawing crowds of between 50,000 and 70,000. The Newport State Airport in Coventry is one of three finalist locations for the 2004 show.
The festival presents a rare opportunity for Vermont's rural heritage and its popular culture to spend a weekend together. If the Coventry site wins state and federal permits, adjoining farmers will create a 350-acre campground by planting grass this year instead of corn.
Phish
Protest Music
Rock Against Bush
Picked UP
One Tree Hill
As expected, the WB has renewed freshman drama One Tree Hill for the 2004-05 season. At press time, that makes 10 out last fall's 38 new series (ABC's Hope & Faith, CBS' Two and a Half Men, Navy NCIS, Joan of Arcadia and Cold Case; NBC's Las Vegas; Fox's The O.C.; and All of Us and Eve on UPN) confirmed for 2004-05.
One Tree Hill
Judge Allows Lawsuit Against Dunne
Gary Condit
A former U.S. congressman won a round in court on Tuesday when a federal judge refused to dismiss a slander suit accusing columnist Dominick Dunne of wrongfully implicating the ex-lawmaker in the disappearance of murdered intern Chandra Levy.
U.S. District Judge Peter Leisure ruled that Gary Condit's slander claims over statements Dunne made in 2002 on "The Laura Ingraham Show," Entertainment Tonight Online, "Larry King Live," and at celebrity dinner parties would remain in the case.
Leisure said that Dunne "did not merely comment on a public controversy, but also added false assertions of fact to the public controversy.
Gary Condit
Shooter Goes Out with a Bang
Tony Mullan
Friends of a champion Irish clay pigeon shooter have fulfilled his dying wish by packing his ashes into shotgun cartridges and blasting his remains over firing ranges around the world.
Shooting enthusiast Tony Mullan made the request before he died at Easter aged 63 after a year-long illness.
Mullan, from Dundalk near the Irish border with Northern Ireland, represented Ireland twice at the sport's World Cup in New Zealand and Australia.
Tony Mullan
Metallica And Green Day Frontmen
Not Dead
A false report that Metallica frontman James Hetfield had committed suicide by overdosing on sleeping pills circulated on the Internet on Thursday (April 22), with several news agencies picking up the story. The hoax made its way to Metallica message boards around the world, prompting the band's official website to post the following statement: "Contrary to what you may have read on message boards or heard from news agencies, James Hetfield is alive and doing extremely well. Thank you for everyone's concern."
Meanwhile, Internet rumors surfaced on Friday (April 23) that Green Day singer and guitarist Billie Joe Armstrong had been killed in a car crash the day before. Once again, a posting on the band's official website cleared things up: "Despite what you may have heard rumored on the Internet, Billie Joe did not recently die in a car accident. Billie Joe, Mike (Dirnt, bassist), and Tre (Cool,drummer) are all fine."
Not Dead
Prime-Time Ratings
Nielsen
Prime-time viewership numbers compiled by Nielsen Media Research for April 19-25. Listings include the week's ranking, with viewership for the week and season-to-date rankings in parentheses. An "X" in parentheses denotes a one-time-only presentation.
1. (2) "American Idol" (Tuesday) Fox, 23.4 million viewers.
2. (5) "Friends," NBC, 22.6 million viewers.
3. (3) "American Idol" (Wednesday) Fox, 21.2 million viewers.
4. (1) "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS, 21.1 million viewers.
5. (9) "CSI: Miami," CBS, 21 million viewers.
6. (6) "Survivor: All-Stars," CBS, 21 million viewers.
7. (X) "Friends," (Thursday) NBC, 20.3 million viewers.
8. (7) "ER," NBC, 19.8 million viewers.
9. (13) "Law & Order," NBC, 17.2 million viewers.
10. (15) "Will & Grace," NBC, 16.4 million viewers.
11. (11) "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS, 16.1 million viewers.
12. (29) "CBS Sunday Movie: Plainsong," CBS, 15.4 million viewers.
13. (18) "Cold Case," CBS, 14.8 million viewers.
14. (15) "Two and a Half Men," CBS, 14.6 million viewers.
15. (12) "Without a Trace," CBS, 13.8 million viewers.
16. (X) "Scrubs" (Thursday) NBC, 13.6 million viewers.
17. (22) "Law & Order: Special Victim's Unit," NBC, 12.8 million viewers.
18. (21) "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," NBC, 12.1 million viewers.
19. (26) "Fear Factor," NBC, 12 million viewers.
20. (20) "The Bachelor," ABC, 11.9 million viewers.
Nielsen
Australia's 'Crocodile Hunter' Steve Irwin (UNSEEN) holds a pure bred Sumatran tiger cub at Mogo Zoo south of Sydney April 27, 2004. Irwin will take delivery of three cubs and raise the animals at his Australia Zoo in Queensland as part of a breeding programme for this endangered species which numbers as few as 400 in the world.
Photo by Will Burgess
'The Osbournes'
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