The Bartcop Entertainment Repository of ''The Osbournes''

'The Osbournes'




Scores with 'Junkie'

Ozzy Osbourne

If there was any doubt that this is Ozzy Osbourne's year, it should be fading fast.

The latest accolade for the self-proclaimed "bleeping Prince of Darkness" and star of MTV's hit reality series "The Osbournes" is a Prism Award, bestowed for presenting an accurate depiction of drug, alcohol or tobacco addiction in his new song "Junkie." (In his early Black Sabbath days, Osbourne sang about the evils of drugs in "Sweet Leaf.")

The sixth edition of the kudos, held Thursday in Los Angeles, doled out 14 nods that met the aforementioned criteria. The ceremony, presented by the Entertainment Institutes of Health Industries Council, in partnership with the Robert Wood Johnson Foundation and the National Institute on Drug Abuse/National, was held at CBS Television City.

In the TV arena, nods went to the comedy "My Wife and Kids," the soap "All My Children," dramas "The Division" and "Third Watch" and the miniseries "Life With Judy Garland: Me and My Shadows," among others.

Sweeping the feature film category was Ted Demme's drug drama "Blow." Penelope Cruz was on hand to pay tribute to the late director; his widow accepted the award on his behalf.

The Prisms added two categories this year: music recording or music video -- which went to Osbourne -- and the Prism Film Festival Award, which is bestowed upon films that have not yet been released but are playing the festival circuit. Grabbing the latter nod were the pictures "Acts of Worship" and "Smoke and Mirrors: A History of Denial."

Winners were selected out of 56 nominees and 236 submissions. The ceremony was taped for national syndication by Tribune Entertainment and is scheduled to air in August. A complete list of winners may be found at



Dan Quayle Likes Ozzy Osbourne

A decade after criticizing television's Murphy Brown, former Vice President Dan Quayle has found a sitcom star whose family values he can applaud: Ozzy Osbourne.

"You have to get beyond the sort of dysfunctional aspect," Quayle said Thursday in praising the MTV show built around the profanity-filled and bizarre home life of heavy metal rocker Osbourne, his wife and two children.

Noting that the offensive words are bleeped and the show features two "loving parents," Quayle said, "I think there are some very good lessons there that are being transmitted, of not doing drugs, of not doing alcohol"

Quayle returned to television criticism as he marked the approaching anniversary of his May 19, 1992, "Murphy Brown" speech. In it, he criticized the show's title character for "mocking the importance of fathers by bearing a child alone and calling it just another 'lifestyle choice.'"

Delivered in the wake of the Los Angeles riots, Quayle's campaign speech blamed the riots, poverty and other ills on a breakdown of social mores and tried to hold Hollywood to task for promoting loose lifestyles.

He triggered a furor, and drew ridicule from Hollywood and Democrats.

In retrospect, Quayle bemoaned the "controversy and the nonsense and the outrageous coverage" but said the speech probably did not affect his losing bid for re-election alongside the first President Bush. Quayle said he does not regret targeting a popular television character many saw as a feminist icon.

"I felt I was right at the time and I feel I'm right now," he said, taking some credit for renewed interest in promoting marriage and discouraging teen-age pregnancy.

He extended his disapproval to some of today's celebrities, but took a gentler approach, describing several performers as happily married, good parents in their real lives who glorify out-of-wedlock sex and unwed pregnancy in their acting roles.

He pointed to movie star and father Warren Beatty; Sarah Jessica Parker of "Sex and the City," who is married and expecting a child; and Jennifer Aniston, who is married but plays an unmarried expectant mother on "Friends."

He noted that even "Murphy Brown" star Candice Bergen raised her own daughter with her husband of 15 years, Louis Malle, who died in 1995. Malle also had two children from previous marriages to two other actresses.

After his speech at the National Press Club, Quayle elaborated on the moral value of watching father Osbourne, known for biting the head off a bat on stage, using satanic imagery in his act and abusing drugs and alcohol:

"In a weird way, Ozzy is a great anti-drug promotion. Look at him and how fried his brains are from taking drugs all those years and everyone will say, 'I don't want to be like that.'"



Osbournes $3 Million Book Deal

Dyslexic rocker Ozzy Osbourne and his colorful clan, the stars of MTV's hit reality series "The Osbournes," are now making waves in the publishing world.

In a deal worth more than $3 million, the ratings-smashing first family of metal has sold world rights to two books to Pocket Books, an imprint of Simon & Schuster.

The deal, signed on the floor of last weekend's publishing trade convention, Book Expo America, is for a trade paperback tie-in to their MTV show and a hardcover family memoir. The tie-in will be published in November, and the memoir, to be narrated by each member of the Osbourne family, including the heretofore-unseen fifth Osbourne, Aimee, will appear the following spring.

The book deal comes on the heels of the Osbournes' reported $20 million deal with MTV for two more seasons of their show.

"The Osbournes are a popular phenomenon of the first magnitude" said Simon & Schuster Adult Publishing Group president Carolyn Reidy, who negotiated the deal with Trident Media Group and Endeavor. "Their appeal is multi-generational and covers the entire political and cultural spectrum. We're bleeping delighted to publish them at Simon & Schuster."

Simon & Schuster and MTV are both units of Viacom Inc.



Ozzy & Carson Daly

It takes a lot to shock Ozzy Osbourne, but Carson Daly did it. The MTV veejay was so stoked to meet the father figure of the network's hit show "The Osbournes" that, when they shook hands, Daly blurted, "[Bleeping] Ozzy, man. I [bleeping] love the show, it [bleeping] rocks, you [bleeping] rule." Ozzy tells Blender magazine he found Daly a "nice enough guy, but his language was atrocious"

Ozzy & Carson Daly



Ozzy & The Future Of Cable TV

Prince of Darkness Illuminates Cable TV Confab

It's clear hard rocker Ozzy Osbourne's bitten the head off conventional programming wisdom, but TV executives are still trying to figure out what to make of the unprecedented success of MTV's reality series "The Osbournes" and how -- or if -- they can capitalize on it.

Right now, "The Osbournes" -- which depicts the intriguing home life of the Osbourne clan -- shows no sign of slowing, even as the show wrapped up its first season Tuesday night. Ozzy and wife Sharon were the toast of Washington, D.C., over the weekend, where they nearly upstaged President Bush at the White House correspondents dinner.

The show continues to break ratings records, having attracted as many as 8 million viewers in one airing. And even though they're not even visiting New Orleans this week, the glow of "The Osbournes" has dominated virtually every panel discussion and hallway conversation at this week's National Cable Show confab.

The timing couldn't be more perfect, adding some buzz to basic cable right before the networks present their fall 2002 schedules to advertisers at the "upfront" sessions.

One of the panelists at Tuesday's general session panel, Tom Freston, chairman and CEO of MTV Networks, said MTV has "met with representatives of the Osbourne family," declining to comment on the $20 million payday Ozzy and Sharon have secured for two more seasons of the runaway hit.

"Nothing lasts forever," Freston said about the possible longevity of "The Osbournes." The observation didn't convince the chiefs of three broadcast networks on the panel, who made it clear they'd love to get their hands on the show.

But phenomena are just that -- momentary, extraordinary moments in time that catch virtually everyone off guard. Just ask ABC and the producers of "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire," another recent TV phenom that eventually cooled down.

"You have to give it ('The Osbournes') a nod for thinking outside the box," said one network executive (who didn't attend the cable show). "But you have to worry about how long a show like that can continue like that when it comes back. Will the gimmick still work? How long until they start playing to the camera?"

Given the industry's penchant for taking a good thing and beating it to death, there promises to be a multitude of projects inspired by "The Osbournes" in the coming year. Although few names have been bandied about as of yet, MTV has hinted at shows in development starring Brandy and Sean Combs. (Syndicated newsmagazine "Extra" recently spent three days at the Beverly Hills home of Kiss rocker Gene Simmons.)

"The lesson of 'The Osbournes' is let's not turn our nose at crazy ideas," the network executive said. "In the sense of TV being TV, I'm sure everyone is looking at what other crazy family we can look at. But it's a fairly unique coming together of an idea, a unique family and unique circumstances."

Despite the festival of bleeps that accompany the Osbournes' nonstop use of four-letter words, Freston stirred even more envy among his fellow panelists when he said that advertisers "are lining up around the block" to buy time on the show. Sponsors already on board include Levi's and Dodge.

The Osbournes, meanwhile, are ramping up for the annual Ozzfest tour that starts its Euro jog May 20 and goes through a June 16 date in Moscow; the Stateside trek runs July 6 to Sept. 8.

Ozzy & The Future Of Cable TV



Lynne & Ozzy

Vice President Dick Cheney's wife, Lynne, yesterday denied that she was outraged by Washington's fawning over Ozzy Osbourne at the White House Correspondents' dinner on Saturday.

Internet snoop Matt Drudge reported that the Second Lady told friends that the mumbling metalhead is "hardly someone we should be applauding [He's] not a role model, I am rather embarrassed."

"She never said that," claims a Cheney rep.

Whatever. Fox News pundit Greta Van Susteren, who invited Ozzy and his wife, Sharon, tells us that, if Lynne had met the Black Sabbath clan, she'd "appreciate the length of [the Osbournes'] marriage, which is over 20 years. These two love each other."

Other guests included Glenn Close and date Peter Emerson and Harrison Ford, who came stag. Model Josie Maran tried to chat him up at the Bloomberg News party after the dinner. But he gave her a blank stare when she called out, "Hey, Luke" perhaps because Ford played Han Solo, not Luke Skywalker, in "Star Wars."

(Ford and Calista Flockhart, by the way, appear to still be going strong, judging by some new paparazzi shots in which the couple with Flockhart's toddler, Liam look very much the happy family).

Lynne & Ozzy



MTV Deal for 'The Osbournes'

MTV expects to close a deal this week with members of the family of the rock singer Ozzy Osbourne that will be the most expensive in the channel's history.

Agents representing the Osbournes are expected in New York today to hammer out the remaining details of the new contract.

"The Osbournes," a reality show that chronicles the at times quirky, at times typical and at times bizarre daily events in the Osbourne household in California, is the most successful new program in the history of MTV. It has scored the highest ratings for any entertainment program on cable television this season.

Two weeks ago, the show's highest-rated episode reached almost eight million viewers on Tuesday night, and scored higher ratings than did all but two programs in all TV among the young adult viewers most sought by TV advertisers.

So its return has been widely expected. But talks to renew the series have dragged on for weeks. The family appeared last week on NBC's "Tonight" show and told the host Jay Leno that they would be back for a second season.

Still, executives at MTV, a unit of Viacom, say there is no completed deal. "We hope there will be a second season," said Carole Robinson, the corporate spokeswoman for MTV Networks. "But we're still in discussions."

The unresolved details include issues like fees for syndication and DVD sales, executives with knowledge of the talks said. While these issues have snagged the talks before, the executives now believe they are close to satisfying the parties.

The series produced 10 episodes this season, which ends tomorrow night, and the number of episodes is expected to reach at least 20 next season.

The success of "The Osbournes" has been noted across the television industry with numerous television program executives saying they have been approached by other celebrity and show business figures about creating similar reality shows about their lives. The executives have so far kept those names private, and the only similar shows so far close to being scheduled are both on MTV.

Next season that channel may make a series out of the personal experiences of the singer Brandy as she goes through pregnancy and the birth of her first child. And MTV is close to committing to another series in which the rap singer P. Diddy will conduct a search on camera for a new performer for his record label.

MTV Deal for 'The Osbournes'



How to &#$@ Manage Like Sharon Osbourne

Ozzy Osbourne's longtime wife and manager speaks.

Sharon Osbourne may know nothing about Six Sigma, but you should take notes anyway. Ozzy Osbourne's longtime (long-suffering?) wife and manager built the heavy-metal Ozzfest into the top music festival in the country, gifted MTV with its highest-rated show ever, The Osbournes, and brought her husband back from the brink of irrelevance.

Manage your PR The National Enquirer ... camped outside our house for three days and asked our neighbors if they could gain access to our property from their property. As if everything isn't known about us. It's like, What do they think? Ozzy's got some 11-year-old Asian boy locked up, and he's a homosexual or something?

Marry your job I worked with Ozzy before I married him. But, oh! He's the biggest pain in the ass! Most artists are, but at least with Ozzy you take it because he's a great artist.

Customer satisfaction sells [Ozzfest is] especially profitable for Clear Channel because we play in their building and they make a s--tload of money ($26.4 million last year in revenues, according to Pollstar). I went into [the CEO's] office, and he said to me, "I honestly don't give a f--k what your husband sings, what he does. All I know is, he sells a lot of beer."

Follow your gut The situation is, we've always been sort of the underdog. And I've never, ever wanted to have a huge empire. We've always been loners and done it our way--not the corporate way. We've never had a safety net. We've always been like, Oh, s--t. If this doesn't work, we're in the toilet.

Play to win Unless you play golf in our industry you're f--ked. What would they do if all the women said, We're going to the ballet and we'll be back in three days?

Learn to cope Zoloft! It's my lifesaver.

Know when to move on I don't want to do personal management anymore. It's just I've gotten old, and my temper's gotten very bad. And to be a personal manager--some clients don't like to hear the truth, so you have to tap-dance and mollycoddle them.

How to &#$@ Manage Like Sharon Osbourne



'Ozzy and Harried'

Ozzy has left the building finally.

Washington is still dithering in the wake of Goth rocker Ozzy Osbourne, whose dark star rose above the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner on Saturday night to fixate press and politicians alike.

He was rude. He was endearing. He swore, he mumbled, he stood on his chair. Mr. Osbourne inspired huge amounts of appreciative prose in the aftermath from journalists giddy over pomp, circumstance and studied misbehavior.

Not everyone was pleased, according to one report.

Lynne V. Cheney, wife of Vice President Richard B. Cheney, was said to be in a fit of pique over Mr. Osbourne's adulation, according to Matt Drudge, who ran the story as an "exclusive" yesterday on his Web site (

Mrs. Cheney was "embarrassed" over the fact that Washington's power elite rose on its hind legs to laud Mr. Osbourne, now the focal point of a bizarre but engaging cable TV show, and still a working musician.

"He's hardly someone to be applauding not a role model," Mrs. Cheney was heard saying, at least according to Mr. Drudge, who also attended the soiree.

Reports of Mrs. Cheney's offense are greatly exaggerated, however.

"This is all untrue," said a spokeswoman from Mrs. Cheney's office yesterday. "I don't know where this report came from. She never made any comments about Mr. Osbourne at all."

Mr. Drudge remains adamant.

"I stand tough behind the story," he said by telephone yesterday. "This may be a minor story, but it's a fun minor story."

"Oh, the Republicans need to lighten up and follow their leader and realize that entertainment is entertainment," said conservative activist David Horowitz, also by phone. "Any kid who has good core family values can listen to Ozzy Osbourne and just be amused."

Meanwhile, the rumors of Mrs. Cheney's comments juxtaposed on all things Ozzy proved too delicious to ignore in media circles.

"Why would Lynne Cheney back off from critical comments she was rumored to have made?" asked Matthew Felling of the Center for Media and Public Affairs yesterday.

"Maybe she sees a stammering, incoherent ex-druggie as a cautionary tale for Gen X-ers. Or maybe she changed her mind since he was invited by Fox News Channel celeb Greta Van Susteren. Regardless, any criticisms she may voice would only draw even more attention to Ozzy," he said.

Added one entertainment-industry writer: "Too many targets can weaken credibility. Mrs. Cheney may back off from a comment about Ozzy for that reason."

Mrs. Cheney represented the "fuddy duddy" contingent, according to liberal commentator Bill Press during a discussion yesterday on radio station WMAL. Mrs. Cheney should not make any fuss about White House appreciation of Mr. Osbourne, he said.

The White House is certainly not alone in its ardor. Mr. Osbourne's MTV show drew a record 8 million viewers last week, and he has just signed a $20 million renewal contract with the music network.

"The Osbournes" which features documentary-style video footage of Mr. Osbourne, his wife and two teens offers edgy cachet to those who take comfort in the fact that even a celebrity has problems with his dog or likes to sit around in his underwear.

It has become the music channel's most popular programming, inspiring high-profile singers P. Diddy and Gene Simmons to also offer their services. The show comes with its own peculiar tics. MTV announced yesterday that it now would offer on-screen captioning for the "non-hearing impaired" because Mr. Osbourne's speech simply can't be understood at times.

Reaction to Mr. Osbourne's Washington debut was darker on talk radio, with some listeners expressing their disappointment in President Bush's recognition of Mr. Osbourne from the podium.

"Clinton wasn't this bad. He only liked Fleetwood Mac," said one irate listener to Mr. Drudge's radio call-in show Sunday night, broadcast on the ABC network.

But some loyal Republicans understood its party's Ozzy adulation.

"This reminds me of the time that [wrestler] the Rock visited the Republican National Convention back in 2000," noted a Washington political observer. "The GOP was so grateful that somebody hip was associated with their cause that they went gaga. Ozzy's newfound acceptance is part of that mind-set."

Still, the reports of comments by Mrs. Cheney seem achingly plausible.

If anyone would have questioned the glorification of a rocker who once urinated upon the Alamo, sang of suicide and bit the heads off both a live bat and dove it would have been Mrs. Cheney. Or perhaps Tipper Gore but she was not in attendance Saturday night.

As cautionary culture maven, Mrs. Cheney has bluntly criticized suggestive, aberrant or violent music lyrics for years.

"Blood, guts, guns, knives, lives, wives, nuns, sluts. It is despicable. It is horrible," she said during a Senate appearance 18 months ago, quoting the lyrics of rap music bad boy Eminem.

However, controversies over the White House Correspondents' Association Dinner have had a short shelf life.

"It is a one-story event, from Don Imus 'finding' a lost Whitewater file to Clinton's comedy reel. Ozzy was this year's story," media analyst Mr. Felling said. "Why? Ozzy and his wife are the hot pop-culture icons presently, like 'Tickle Me Elmos' or the 'Macarena.' They're walking, talking buzz magnets at the height of their popularity."

'Ozzy and Harried'



Glenn & Ozzy

Glenn Close will never forget her introduction to Ozzy Osbourne at the White House Correspondents Dinner. The star of "Fatal Attraction" and "Dangerous Liaisons" has a cast on her right arm, having broken her wrist in a horse-riding mishap. Upon learning that Close was being treated with the powerful painkiller Percoset, "Ozzy offered to buy some off me," the actress revealed. The heavy-metal patriarch - who has found new life appearing with his family on MTV in "The Osbournes" - was easily the most incongruous of the 2,500 guests at the Washington Hilton on Saturday night. The crowd also included Secretary of State Colin Powell, Gen. Tommy Franks, who's running the military operation in Afghanistan, as well as Raquel Welch, Shannen Doherty and covergirl Josie Maran. The only bigger star was Harrison Ford, who was surrounded by women wanting to have their picture taken with the leading man. Ford and Osbourne finally met up afterward at the lavish party thrown by Bloomberg News and exchanged some words. Asked, "Were you able to understand anything he said?" Ford paused and joked, "You mean the president?"

Glenn & Ozzy



Ozzy, Sharon & The NBC Censor

The foul-mouthed Osbournes were at it again Thursday night - as a forbidden expletive starting with "f" eluded NBC censors and made it onto the air on "The Tonight Show."

The Osbourne clan - heavy-metal rocker Ozzy, his wife/manager Sharon and their children - have become famous for their salty vocabulary, which results in frequent bleeping and vigilant editing on the part of the producers of the family's hit series on MTV, "The Osbournes."

On Thursday's "Tonight Show," the bleeps were just as numerous (as many as 14 bleeps, according to some counts) as Ozzy and Sharon conducted an uninhibited chat with host Jay Leno about topics ranging from their marriage to the future of their series, which winds up its first season on Tuesday.

(When asked by Leno if they've agreed to a second season, both Ozzy and Sharon answered with simultaneous and enthusiastic yesses.)

But the NBC watchdogs missed the very first expletive uttered by Ozzy. It came shortly after Ozzy and Sharon took their seats next to Leno.

"Good to see you again, you guys!" Leno said.

"I feel like we live here!" answered Sharon, referring to their last visit just a few weeks ago on March 29.

"We should [acquire] a condo next to the studio," said Ozzy in an English accent that is so heavy it can sometimes be difficult to understand.

"Did you say condom or condo?" Sharon asked.

Replied an annoyed Ozzy, "No, no, no, I didn't f- - - - n' say 'condom'!"

A mortified and apologetic NBC spokeswoman said the unbleeped expletive was "a mistake" and that the word was bleeped in time for the show's West Coast feed later in the evening.

Ozzy, Sharon & The NBC Censor



Pipi Osbourne Found

Ozzy Osbourne's Dog 'Pipi' Found

The dog that has been missing from Ozzy Osbourne's house for more than a month has been returned.

Kelly Ripa broke the news today when she got a huge bouquet of roses from Osbourne and his wife, Sharon, during "Live With Regis and Kelly." Ripa had been asking viewers for help in finding Pipi the Pomeranian, who has been featured on the smash hit MTV reality series that follows the family's life, "The Osbournes."

The card that came with the flowers read, "Because of you we got our Pipi back. A million thanks. Love, the Osbournes."

The Osbournes and "Live With Regis and Kelly" combined to offer a $1,000 reward for Pipi's return, but Regis Philbin said the person who returned the dog refused to take any money.

Pipi Osbourne Found



'Television Without Pity

Television Without Pity The Osbournes Recaps & Extras Season 1 Episode 1



Is There A New Deal Or Not?

Osbourne Drama

The Osbourne family's contract negotiations are as unpredictable as their home life.

While mom Sharon Osbourne and daughter Kelly said a deal had been reached for a second season of the hit reality series "The Osbournes," MTV said discussions were still active.

In an "Access Hollywood" interview, Kelly said "We have signed." The pink-haired, 17-year-old refused to elaborate, saying "I can't talk about that. Not only do I think that it isn't anyone's business but I don't really like talking about it."

During an appearance on NBC's "Tonight," Mrs. Osbourne was asked by host Jay Leno if there would be more shows about her rock star husband, Ozzy, and their clan.

"Yes," she replied Thursday, smiling and throwing her hands in the air. She didn't offer further details.

MTV officials had a different version. "There's no deal," a network spokeswoman told The Associated Press on Thursday, speaking on condition of anonymity. "We're in discussions and we're hopeful for a second season."

There was no further comment from MTV on Friday.

MTV could end up paying $20 million over two seasons to keep the family on board, Daily Variety reported Friday. The Osbournes received just $200,000 for the first 10-episode season, the trade paper said. It did not cite specific sources.

Mrs. Osbourne called the figure inaccurate Thursday on "Access Hollywood."

"I wish, I wish, no that's not true, but we're re-signing, we're very happy," she said.

"The Osbournes" is MTV's hottest series in the channel's 21-year-old history, drawing more than 6 million weekly viewers. It has pushed aside professional wrestling as cable TV's biggest show, according to Nielsen Media Research.

The program's surprising popularity boosted the Osbournes' negotiating position regarding a second season. The family was reportedly concerned about tourists at their California home and thinking of filming part of a new season at their other home in England.

The Osbournes cited another reason on "Access Hollywood" - Ozzy Osbourne is scheduled to perform for England's Queen Elizabeth at Buckingham Palace on June 4.

"Can you imagine? The crowns will fly off," he told the TV program.

Osbourne Drama



Sharon Osbourne Says 'Yes'

Once was not enough for "The Osbournes." MTV's surprise hit series about rocker Ozzy Osbourne's family life will return for a second season, Sharon Osbourne said Thursday.

During an appearance on NBC's "Tonight," Mrs. Osbourne was asked by host Jay Leno if there would be another season of the reality series.

"Yes," she replied, smiling and throwing her hands in the air. She didn't offer further details, but talked about bedroom life with a rock star: He has the annoying habit of chomping apples throughout the night.

"The Osbournes" is MTV's hottest series in the channel's 21-year-old history, drawing more than 6 million weekly viewers. It has pushed aside professional wrestling as cable TV's biggest show, according to Nielsen Media Research.

The program's surprising popularity boosted the Osbournes' negotiating position regarding a second season. The family, reportedly concerned about tourists at their California home, may film part of a new season at their other home in England.

MTV had no immediate comment, a spokeswoman said Thursday night.

Sharon Said On Leno...



Ozzy Interview?

'' How cool is this. I talked about Ozzy Osbourne while I'm on the radio one day about his new pooper scooper he's coming out with. It was just so great that I had to call up Ozzy to get an interview with him and I ended up getting him to come into the studio for the interview. Click the image of Ozzy's family to listen to the interview. ''
SunKast - Ozzy Interview?



Ozzy & Austin?

Archerd: Osbournes, Powers Get Shagadelic

Friday's the final day of shooting (and reshooting) on "Austin Powers in Goldmember," and Mike Myers tells me this scene "is an extravaganza."

Yet he's not even in the scene, which is being filmed secretly (not anymore) at the home of -- the Ozzy Osbournes. Mike and "Goldmember" director Jay Roach are "huge fans" of MTV's reality show built around the dysfunctional lives of rocker Ozzy Osbourne, his wife and two of their children.

Meanwhile, Myers is busy editing the New Line picture, which will be released July 26. And, yes, Myers says the Osbourne segment is one of "many surprises" in the picture. Can you be sure the Osbournes will have some surprises for Mike?

Ozzy & Austin?



'The Osbournes'

'The Osbournes' MTV Deal May Hit $20 Million

Crazy ... but hey, that's how it goes: MTV could shell out $20 million over two seasons to keep Ozzy Osbourne and his family on board as stars of the cable channel's smash hit reality comedy.

Once the deal is finalized, it will represent the largest talent payday ever for a cable series. It's also a huge raise for the Osbournes, who pulled down a mere $200,000 for the first 10-episode season of the monstrously successful series.

Even more coin could be in the works for America's favorite dysfunctional family via backend revenue and profits from merchandising and marketing related to the show. Sony Music, for example, is already prepping a soundtrack album for the series that will feature daughter Kelly Osbourne covering Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach."

The pact has been in the works since last month, when the Osbournes signed with the Endeavor Agency to help them negotiate a new deal with MTV. Specifics of the agreement, which has not yet been signed, are being kept under wraps. What's more, the exact dollar amount MTV ultimately pays for the show could vary based upon its success in a second season.

The deal now under discussion guarantees MTV a second batch of episodes of "The Osbournes," with an option for a third. If for some reason MTV chose not to go forward with a third season, the network's financial commitment to the family would obviously be reduced.

While the dollar figures being discussed are huge, MTV would get a lot for its money. It's expected any deal would allow MTV to play each episode of "The Osbournes" dozens of times -- as opposed to three or four runs for a broadcast network series.

An MTV spokeswoman confirmed negotiations were ongoing, but would not discuss financial terms or other aspects of any potential pact. "Because there is no deal, any numbers or facts reported are unreliable," she said.

Reached late Thursday night, Sharon Osbourne said she and the family were excited about the prospect of returning for more seasons.

"We're very happy about it," she said. "A lot of thought went into this and we're happy that we're going to do another one, and that it's going to be with MTV. They've become a part of our family as we've become a part of theirs."

Osbourne also said that elder daughter Aimee Osbourne, who was not a part of the first season of "The Osbournes" may appear in a few episodes of a second season.

It's hard to exaggerate just how successful "The Osbournes" has been -- and how quickly it's risen. After bowing to MTV's best-ever numbers for a series premiere, the half-hour series -- which premieres new episodes Tuesdays at 10:30 p.m. -- has gone on to become basic cable's most-watched series.

Two weeks ago, it hit a ratings high, attracting nearly 8 million viewers -- a record audience for an episode of an MTV series. "The Osbournes" is an even bigger draw among the younger demos MTV covets. Indeed, some episodes of the series have pulled in larger numbers of young viewers than any programming on some of the Big Six broadcast networks during a given week.

The show has also given a huge boost to MTV's reality vet "The Real World," which leads in to "The Osbournes."

Meanwhile, the Osbournes themselves have become huge celebrities, surpassing even the fame Ozzy Osbourne had established as a rocker. Clan has been on the cover of Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly, and this weekend, they'll be Fox News Channel's guests of honor at the annual White House Correspondents Assn. dinner.

'The Osbournes'



Now Closed-Captioned For The Hearing Non-Impaired

'The Osbournes'

Ozzy's mumbling prompts captioning for 'Osbournes'

Did you hear the one about Ozzy Osbourne?

Hear? Sure. Understand? Not a clue. That's why the hottest show on TV - MTV's The Osbournes - is being closed-captioned for the hearing non-impaired.

And anybody with a set manufactured since 1993 can easily receive the free service. (More on that later.)

When Ozzy is conscious, the quirky, fried patriarch tends to mumble between expletives in a way that only his family, and possibly chemically altered viewers, can understand.

Enter the Media Access Group. A division of Boston PBS station WGBH, it's one of the country's largest providers of closed-captioning for the hearing-impaired.

Many among MAG's 150-person staff caught Obsournes' March 5 debut, but few could decipher what the heavy-mental, er, -metal star was saying, says Mary Watkins, outreach director of the 30-year-old organization.

"We love the show, but we had trouble understanding Ozzy's mumbles between bleeps. So we beat down MTV's door until they decided to choose us."

MAG had the inside track, given that MTV was already a client (The Real World, Road Rules). Osbournes' closed-captioning began with the March 12 episode, out of MAG's Burbank, Calif., office. (Other offices are in Boston and New York.)

"We've gotten tremendous feedback from viewers," Watkins says. "The general feeling is, 'Thank God The Osbournes is captioned.' "

Under federal law, post-1992 TVs come with built-in decoders, Watkins says. To receive closed-captioning, just choose the option via your remote control or on-screen menu. There are four caption channels - most programs, including Osbournes, are on CC1.

Meanwhile, how hot are Ozzy and his brood?

Well, the April 23 episode was the most-watched cable show for the entire month of April, with 7.8 million viewers, and Osbournes occupied four of the top five spots. It's the highest-rated series in MTV's 21-year history.

Now the bad news. Osbournes' season finale is Tuesday. (We may weep openly.) No word on when MTV will repeat the season.

Now Closed-Captioned For The Hearing Non-Impaired



MTV in Talks to Renew

'The Osbournes'

MTV is in talks with heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne to bring his raucous, foul-mouthed family back for a second season of the surprise hit series "The Osbournes," the cable music network said on Thursday.

The 10-part "reality" show about the home life of former lead singer of Black Sabbath, his wife, Sharon, and their teenage kids -- Kelly and Jack -- debuted March 5 and has become a Tuesday night sensation on the Viacom Inc. -owned network.

"We're in discussions with the family for a second season, and we're hopeful we'll get something signed," an MTV spokesman told Reuters.

The show, a heavily bleeped mix of "The Addams Family" and "The Brady Bunch," stars the tattooed 53-year-old British-born rocker in his current real-life role as a befuddled father puttering around his Beverly Hills mansion, forever cleaning up after the family's incontinent dogs.

But it's Ozzy's spouse and manager, Sharon, who appears to be the real enforcer of the brood, while their sassy kids handle the electronic gadgetry for their techno-challenged parents.

Still, "The Osbournes" is a far cry from "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet," the wholesome 1950s family comedy starring real-life couple Ozzie and Harriet Nelson.

Last week's episode, featuring Sharon Osbourne threatening to urinate into a whiskey bottle, drew nearly 7.8 million viewers, ranking it as the most watched episode of television ever on MTV.

MTV offered no details of renewal talks. But daughter Kelly Osbourne, 17, told syndicated TV show "Access Hollywood" in an interview airing Thursday that the family already has signed a deal to bring the show back.

She said the second season would probably be similar to the first, "but maybe (there will be) a little bit of England, so people can see our house there."

She added that viewers may get their first glimpse of the eldest of the Osbourne children, 18-year-old Aimee, who has opted to live off-camera so far.

'The Osbournes'



The Osbournes Quotes of the Week

From ~ Chad

Here're my favorite Osbournes quotes from this week:
Sharon: One of our 11 truck drivers got into an accident yesterday. We found out today...
Ozzy: He was stoned?
Sharon: No.
Ozzy: Drunk?
Sharon: Getting a blowjob from a hooker while he was driving.
Ozzy: Oh that'll do it.
Sharon: Does everyone know our security guard Mike? He's just been arrested for robbing the house in back of us! (laughs) I think that's funny! (to Ozzy) You're not going to believe this, but when he was arrested he had one of your T-shirts on! (laughs)
"It's got that "Gucci" vibe...which means my balls are touching the back of my shorts" -Ozzy, on his concern of Sharon's latest shopping bonanza.
"When I was a kid, I'd get one gift. It was a smelly old sock with a few nuts in it, couple of pennies, an apple and an orange, and that was it." - Ozzy, invoking the spirit of Christmas past.
"Everybody's gonna fight, call each other bastards, and go to bed early." -Sharon, accurately describing an Osbourne Christmas.
"International rock star gravy maker extraordinaire!" -Ozzy, describing himself while preparing dinner.
Jack: Yeah, dad, what is it with this gravy you keep...
Ozzy: I put cat shit in it
"Don't you start fucking singing or the birds will die" - Ozzy to Sharon, after she begins warbling a carol.
"I wanted to scratch myself, I wanted to abuse myself!" -Sharon, after hearing Christine Aguilera sing a Christmas song.
 and my favorite quote of the week.....
"Merry Christmas, baby.  Another fucking year together. I adore you to death......Now, fuck off." -Ozzy, embracing his wife.

Thanks, again, Chad!


Advice Columnist For

Ask Kelly

Send in your biggest dilemmas to Kelly Osbourne, daughter of rocker Ozzy and star of the hit MTV show The Osbournes. Read on for her funny, opinionated, smart advice.

Ask Kelly



Visited Jay

More Ozzy

Singer Ozzy Osborne, right, makes an unannounced appearance during a taping of the "Tonight" show, handing Jay Leno a bouquet and congratulating Leno on his 10th anniversary as the show's host, Monday, April 29, 2002, at NBC Studios in Burbank, Calif.
Photo by E.J. Flynn



Visited Jay

Still More Ozzy

Ozzy Osborne makes an unannounced appearance during the taping of 'The Tonight Show'. Photo by E.J. Flynn



New Agent, New Contract For New Season?

'The Osbournes'

Being terminally weird is paying off big time for Ozzie Osbourne and his family. I hear the Osbournes just switched television agents, from CAA to Endeavor, and inked a second season deal with MTV that may be worth up to $20 million. If this sounds a high fee from a cabler, just remember that the Osbourne family show is far and away the highest-rated program the formerly all-music channel has ever had.

The Osbournes



MTV's 'Most-Watched Episode - EVER!

'The Osbournes'

It's music to MTV's ears: Tuesday's installment of "The Osbournes" was the most-watched episode ever for a series on the cable channel.

The reality show, starring headbanger Ozzy Osbourne and his rambunctious family, drew 7.8 million viewers (as many people who watched last Sunday's "Practice" rerun on ABC).

The episode -- highlighted by Osbourne's wife Sharon threatening to urinate into a Jack Daniel's bottle -- also rocked and rolled to some impressive demo scores: a 7.3 rating among females 12-17, 6.7 among females 12-34 and 5.0 for males 12-34. In households, it garnered a 4.7 rating, eight share.

'The Osbournes'



The Osbournes Quotes of the Week

The Osbournes quotes of the week:

Here are my picks for "Osbournes" quotes of the week. Unfortuntately, they're full of shit (you'll see what I mean).

It was very difficult to pick the choice quotes this week, since the visual comedy (Lola barfing, Ozzy struggling with those damn DVD stickers, etc.) almost beat the spoken gems. Almost.

"I don't mind a little fuckin' Pomeranian turd, but when that fuckin' Bulldog unloads you gotta get an earth mover and a fuckin' gas mask to go in the fuckin' kitchen. It's like, plutonium turds." -Ozzy (on his concern about Lola)

"How would you like it if I gave Minnie away? 'Cause I know a lot of people who might like those [kinds of] dogs!" - Jack (yelling at Sharon for giving Lola away)

"Dad's awake...fuck!" - Kelly (trying to hide after she, Jack and Jason already woke up Sharon late at night)

"The situation is: I AM NOT GOING TO CLEAN UP ANYMORE FUCKING WARM TURDS!" - Sharon (on her reasoning for evicting Lola the Bulldog Osbourne)

"I love Lola. Jack loves Lola. But Jack also loves going to the night-fuckin'-clubs." - Ozzy (on why Lola is not housetrained)

"SHARON! I BURNT THE GRIDDLE! I AM SO SORRY!" -note by Jason Dill (after ruining the Osbourne's stove by melting a plastic chicken timer on it. Jason later did nothing to help clean the mess.)

Sharon: He shot who?

Melinda: Jack shot Marcus.
Ozzy: Now see, that's totally unacceptable behavior to me. What if he turned and got hit in the eye? Then we'd all be fucked! (conversation regarding Jack's friends and an incident with a BB gun)

"Your mother respects my opinion." - Jason Dill, clueless 'professional' skateboarder and Osbourne family guest, to Jack.

Kelly: Mom! Leave it!
Sharon: No, I'm gonna piss in it and put it back. (enters bathroom)
Kelly: (from behind bathroom's doors) Mom! Tha's not funny! Stop it! (pause) YUCK! (exchange between mother and daughter after Sharon discovered a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniels left by 'Professional Skateboarder' Jason Dill.)

"Oh okay Kelly, Ms. Drama Queen" - Sharon, after her Pee-Daniels cocktail was disposed of by her daughter.

"I was going to piss in it" -Sharon, quite serious, to a laughing and 'Professional Skateboarder' Jason Dill, after he asked what she did with his bottle of Jack Daniels.

"I'm going to be the envy of boys the world over when this comes out" - "Professional Skateboarder" Jason Dill, correct for once.

And my personal fave:

Kelly: You wanna know why Fred Durst is moving to England? 'Cause no one hates him there."
Sharon: They soon fucking will.

Those are just my small, offhand picks.

:-) Chad

Damn fine picks, Chad!



Ozzy Links | Photo Gallery | Ozzy Osbourne's Strange Journey | People Profiles | Ozzy Osbourne



Pipi Osbourne

The Pipi Osbourne saga has taken yet another turn.

Yesterday, "Live with Regis & Kelly" executive producer Michael Gelman threw another $500 into the kitty for information on the Osbourne dog's return - upping the total reward money to $1,000.

Gelman said the money will be donated in the name of "Live" - which has featured on-air pictures of Pipi several times this week.

"We're better than a milk carton, and we're on a campaign [to find Pipi]," Gelman told The Post.

"We here at 'Live' feel a real kinship with the Osbournes because we really consider ourselves the first reality show - you've watched drama unfold here for years.

"And you've heard about the strange coincidences between our show and 'The Osbournes'," Gelman said. "We have a Kelly [Ripa] and one of their daughters is named Kelly. They have a dog Lola, and Kelly Ripa's daughter is named Lola. And one of Regis' nicknames for Kelly [Ripa] is Pipi."

Multi-millionaire rocker Ozzy Osbourne is offering $500 for information on the whereabouts of the family's black Pomeranian dog - who was living in Osbournes' posh Beverly Hills estate.

Pipi, featured in MTV's hit show, "The Osbournes," has been missing for about two months now and belongs to Aimee Osbourne, the eldest Osbourne daughter who's seldom seen on the show (she's avoiding the limelight).

Sharon Osbourne (Ozzy's wife) and their daughter, Kelly, broke the news of Pipi's disappearance earlier this week during an appearance on "Live with Regis & Kelly."

Although Sharon said she'd give "anything" to get Pipi back, the family was offering only $500 for Pipi's return.

Pipi Osbourne



MTV's Biggest Hit - Ever

"The Osbournes," the reality sitcom about rocker Ozzy Osbourne and his colorful family life, is officially the biggest hit series in MTV's 21-year history.

Just under 6.3 million people watched last Tuesday's episode, up from 6 million the week before as the series continues to grow.

No MTV series even cultural touchstones like "Beavis & Butt-Head" and "Real World" has reached such heights. MTV has been trying to take advantage of the hit, playing series episodes 15 times a week.

"The Osbournes" has pushed aside professional wrestling as cable television's biggest show, according to Nielsen Media Research.

MTV has prepared three more original episodes before its season ends. But it may try to use footage to create up to three additional ones.

Every additional viewer just improves Osbourne's negotiating position. MTV is talking to the family about filming another season's worth of shows, but the Osbournes are reportedly concerned about tourists at their California home and may film part of a new season in their second home in England.

MTV's Biggest Hit - Ever



Money & More Pipi

Rocker Ozzy Osbourne wants close to $10 million for another season of "The Osbournes" - but is offering only a paltry $500 for the return of his pet pooch, Pipi.

The dog, a black Pomeranian which belongs to eldest daughter Aimee Osbourne - not seen on the show - has been missing from the family's Beverly Hills mansion for about two months.

According to MTV's "Osbournes" website, the family is offering $500 "for any information leading to the canine's retrieval."

Even MTV, which runs the site, is cocking an eyebrow at the so-called "reward" money.

"The multimillion-dollar Osbournes might want to think about inflating the figure a little," reads the narrative.

"Considering the celebrity status the entire family has been anointed with thanks to its popular reality program, the dog could probably fetch a higher price on [Internet auction site] eBay."

Alas, a check of eBay late yesterday revealed that Pipi is not listed on the site.

The MTV "Osbournes" site includes an e-mail link for anyone with any information on Pipi's whereabouts.

AOL will also establish a special e-mail address for Pipi information - sources say.

Sharon and Kelly Osbourne broke the news about Pipi's disappearance during an appearance on Wednesday's "Live with Regis & Kelly." Sharon Osbourne said she would give "anything" for Pipi's return.

More Pipi



'The Osbournes' - What The Bleep?

'The Osbournes' find a home in America's living rooms Rock's 'Prince of Darkness' lets MTV viewers glimpse his world -- insane at times, normal at others. As Ozzy himself might say, what the (bleep) is going on?

How did an aging, tattooed, drug-battered monster of rock morph into the nation's newest teddy bear?

For more than three decades, the name Ozzy Osbourne has been synonymous with loud, nihilistic music, offstage mayhem, youth rebellion and parental panic.

Not to mention bat decapitation.

Now the godfather of heavy metal and the father of the MTV show The Osbournes is the hottest thing to hit pop culture. Witness the blizzard of Ozz:

* In the last week alone, one or more members of the family has been on the cover of Entertainment Weekly and Rolling Stone, in Time magazine, on The Rosie O'Donnell Show and Live! With Regis & Kelly.

* He's an object of fascination for busloads of Hollywood tourists who gawk in front of his yellow mansion, and the subject of more than 3,000 message postings on America Online.

* He's the buzz of Washington. He and wife Sharon will dine with the Bushes, as guests of Fox News' Greta Van Susteren, at the White House Correspondents Dinner on May 4.

* Right now, his agent is seeking a multimillion-dollar deal for a second season of The Osbournes, last week's highest-rated show on basic cable and one of the highest-rated shows in MTV's 20-year history.

''I'm 53, and I'm as popular as ever,'' says Osbourne. ''That's totally a shock to me.''

With 12 MTV cameras positioned throughout his Beverly Hills home, each Tuesday night (10:30 ET/PT) viewers get a half-hour glimpse behind the scenes at Ozzy, his doting yet steely wife and their two rebellious but sweet teenagers -- Kelly, 17, and Jack, 16. (Daughter Aimee, 18, opted to live off-camera.)

But rock's merry madman lets us in on a little secret: He's a lot like anyone's adorable dad. Shuffles a bit. Forgets things. Worries about the garbage. Snores on the couch while the TV blares. Walks the dog.

At the same time, British-born John Michael ''Ozzy'' Osbourne argues with his wife about wearing a bat-winged coat on stage. Regularly swills wine. Throws fruit at the neighbors. Receives a pooper-scooper for his birthday -- with a card addressed to the ''Prince of Darkness.''

Jack has a Mohawk and wears dark nail polish. Kelly's hair is pink, and she got a tattoo without asking. Sharon, who is also Ozzy's manager and is in charge of most family decisions, tries to make peace. Everyone freely uses the f-word (conscientiously bleeped by MTV), their British accents punctuating it all the more.

''He's not the typical father who comes in with a briefcase at 6 and puts it down and we all have a family dinner and discuss what we've done,'' Sharon explains in one episode, as she and Ozzy snuggle in bed on the luxurious tour bus. ''We're not the bleeping Partridges, you know.''

Or as Kelly tells her parents during a family meeting on fake IDs, undesirable friends and drug use: ''What you and Dad have to understand is that me and Jack have been brought up very differently from everyone else.''

Multigenerational appeal

Last Tuesday, 6.27 million viewers tuned in to The Osbournes -- its largest audience yet and nearly double that of its premiere episode March 5. Ten episodes are scheduled -- the seventh aired Tuesday -- though MTV could assemble two or three additional episodes from leftover footage.

The effort clearly would be worth MTV's while. Nearly 4 million of the previous week's viewers were between the advertiser-coveted ages of 18 and 34, which would land the cable series among the Top 10 -- including network shows, which normally draw far larger numbers -- in that demographic group.

At the same time, The Osbournes draws many more viewers age 35 and over than does most of MTV's youth-oriented fare. It's a tribute to Ozzy's cross-generational charisma.

''I'll have a 50-year-old limo driver who says his family is loving the show or meet some kid who says, 'My grandmother loves the show,' '' MTV programming chief Brian Graden says. ''I've never had that (experience) at MTV before.''

Besides negotiating for a second season -- reportedly to be taped in part at Ozzy's home in England -- MTV has no plans to try to create other domestic series on the model of The Osbournes, says Graden. ''When something so magically random and beautiful happens in television, what I've found is leave it alone,'' he says. ''It happened once. Lightning doesn't strike twice.''

'The love is evident'

From devil worshiper to media darling, the Ozzy tide is the biggest change in public image since George Foreman fired up a grill.

It was 1982 when Ozzy bit the head of a bat, thinking it was a rubber toy thrown on stage by a fan. He was rushed to the hospital for a rabies shot. He's also notorious for biting the head off a white dove to gross out a record label executive and giving a bulldog a facelift to remove his wrinkles.

He has been in and out of more than a dozen rehab clinics, struggling with addiction since he was a boy in Birmingham, England. But Sharon, Ozzy's second wife (his first marriage ended in divorce in the early '80s) has said the doddering Ozzy viewers see on TV isn't fried from years of drugs; his speech is slurred in part by painkillers prescribed by doctors after Ozzy slipped in the shower last fall during filming and fractured his leg.

She also says he takes antipsychotic medication that can cause Parkinson's-like tremors.

Today, to his fans, ''he's a family man,'' says Robert Vigue, 30, of North Edwards, Calif. He and wife Hope, 26 (whose parents introduced her to Ozzy's band, Black Sabbath), brought their young son to see Osbourne get his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame last week. ''You can see it on the television show. He's not like what everybody has made him out to be over the years.''

Rosie O'Donnell has been regularly imitating Ozzy and running clips on her talk show. Rosie told Sharon Osbourne, her guest on Tuesday, ''What I love most about it is not only the relationship you have with Ozzy -- and you obviously adore each other -- but the honesty with which you relate to your children. The love is so evident between all of you. It's heartwarming.''

Van Susteren says she finds Ozzy and Sharon ''very charming.'' But she adds that she asked them to be her guests because ''if I'm going to sit at a long dinner with food that is usually medium and noise that is loud and clothes that are uncomfortable, I want it to be interesting.''

That's all but guaranteed. Ozzy was one of the artists targeted in the '80s by Tipper Gore's Parental Music Resource Committee. Probably of particular interest to the president and first lady would be Osbourne's arrest in 1982 for urinating on the Alamo in San Antonio. (Ozzy has since donated money to help restore the Texas landmark.)

Said shock rocker Marilyn Manson last week at the Walk of Fame event, ''It's quite obvious that Ozzy has managed to succeed while remaining insane.''

Family learns from show

It's not his insanity, though, that comes through on the show. It's his vulnerability.

''We have the same problems as anybody else,'' Sharon says. ''It's all relative, whether you're in the public eye or not, whether you have money or don't. You still have to deal with your kids and the issues of smoking pot and doing homework.''

Jessica Simmonds, a Los Angeles family therapist, says, ''In some ways they live a very normal life in this upper-middle-class environment, mixed with a really strange mentality and dysfunction.''

She says viewers might be relating because there's ''a domineering mother'' and ''a feeble father,'' something that's common to many families. ''It's mesmerizing in terms of where the boundaries are. How far are they going to go?''

But it's not all funny, she adds. ''There's a lot of sadness there.''

For her part, Sharon says the family has ''learned a lot'' from seeing their lives played out on television.

''I know Ozzy was embarrassed about some of his behavior and his language. But one thing I've learned is you can't dwell on regrets. Everything's a learning experience. If you start regretting, you'll spend your whole life regretting every move you make. I went into this fully aware of what I was doing.''

An MTV camera crew wired the Osbournes' Beverly Hills home with cameras before the family moved in last fall. The opening episode showed them unpacking boxes marked ''devils' heads,'' along with ones marked ''linens.''

The crew lived in their house for almost four months, with three film crews following family members around for 18 hours a day.

When the first episode was finished, Ozzy asked his crew to screen it. ''I said, 'You all work for me, but be totally honest. Tell me what you really think. It's me being me in my house. I don't have a script.' When I came in later, they were all cracking up laughing.

''I don't try and be funny. It was never like, 'Oh, that was good, let's do a retake.' It's all raw and real.''

Off to Ozzfest

The Osbournes' risk is paying off in other ways. Ozzy's current album, Down to Earth, ticked up to No. 112 from No. 143 last week; in the show's first week the album jumped to No. 93 from No. 145 the week before, according to SoundScan.

The success of his Ozzfest summer tour -- 29 dates with 26 bands, including Rob Zombie and P.O.D., kicking off in July outside of Washington, D.C. -- was a given even before the series rolled out. Ozzfest sold out last year, and Osbourne has had a strong fan base since founding Black Sabbath in the late '60s -- long before many of the Ozzfest performers were born.

But that doesn't keep them from being fans of the man -- and the show. ''You can't not like Ozzy. He's cut from a different cloth,'' says Jamey Jasta, singer for a Connecticut metal band called Hatebreed. ''Of all the reality TV shows that have been on the last two years, this definitely is the funniest, coolest one. It's kooky, but it's real. I can barely get through three minutes of Temptation Island.''

Pantera vocalist Philip Anselmo, also on the Ozzfest bill, says that on the show, Ozzy is ''showing a side of himself that's very human and down to Earth. Not to mention, he's a funny guy. I don't think it's possible for Ozzy to ever go out of style or favor.''

The cameras are gone now. While Sharon, the family's manager, is lining up Ozzfest, she also is working on deals for the kids. A soundtrack is in the works to be released in May. Kelly is planning to record a cover of Madonna's Papa Don't Preach; Jack is producing the song. Ozzy focuses on just being Ozzy, his eccentricites becoming the stuff of legends, just as they always have.

''He has transcended all boundaries,'' said Johnny Grant, the honorary mayor of Hollywood, when Ozzy got his Walk of Fame star last week. ''Put simply -- Ozzy rocks!''

'The Osbournes' - What The Bleep?



Ozzy's Dog Stolen?

Missing Pipi

Somebody has apparently filched Pipi, the black Pomeranian pup featured on MTV's smash hit, "The Osbournes."

"It's been about a month now. We think someone's taken her," Osbourne matriarch Sharon Osbourne told a shocked studio audience on yesterday's "Live with Regis & Kelly."

"We'd give a reward - anything for Pipi," she said, drawing oohs from the "Live" audience.

Pipi belongs to Aimee Osbourne, Ozzy and Sharon's eldest daughter, who has chosen not to appear with her family on "The Osbournes."

Pipi, a family favorite, is one of several dogs of different breeds (Japanese Chin, Bulldog) inhabiting the Beverly Hills mansion of heavy metal rocker Ozzy Osbourne and his family - whose everyday lives have been turned into one of the highest rated shows in MTV history.

The dogs frequently urinate and defecate in the house and have been the bane of Ozzy - who frequently complains about the hounds ruining his home.

On yesterday's "Live," co-host Kelly Ripa theorized that it might have been a fan of "The Osbournes" who took Pipi - hoping to somehow "have a piece" of America's favorite family.

"This is a member of the family who should be returned," Ripa said.

Missing Pipi



Reader Suggestion

'The Osbournes' Recaps

For those of us (like me) without access to a TV, these are...almost...good enough. Play-by-play descriptions of every episode.

'The Osbournes' Recaps

Wow! Thanks, Salana!


Late 04/16/02

Favorite 'The Osbournes' Quotes

From ~~ Chad S

My choice for best 'Osbourne' quotes this week are:

A) "Jack, you have an anger management control problem" - Kelly

B) "I. Am. Putting. The. Dog. Bowl. Down. Don't. Put. Your. Foot. In. It." - Sharon (to Ozzy)

C) "[This mink] smells like somebody's crotch now that it's been in the toilet. Here, smell" -Sharon (To Jack and Kelly [in an elevator])


D) "You should have left in the toilet, mum. You shouldn't buy mink!" - Jack


Thanks, Chad!



Ozzy's Family & Year 2

Some members of Ozzy Osbourne's family may be standing in the way of MTV's desire for a second season of its red-hot, reality-based sitcom, "The Osbournes."

Negotiations for a second season have been underway virtually since the series premiered March 5 to huge ratings and rave reviews. But there are indications that some of the Osbourne clan - particularly teen sibs Kelly and Jack - are not eager to share their home with MTV camera crews for another five months.

MTV, though, is desperate to begin work on a second-season of the megahit series, even though the current season is only half over. Episode 7 of 13 airs tonight at 10:30.

But the show's runaway success has turned life upside down for the Osbourne family, as tourists crowd the normally quiet street in Beverly Hills where the family lives in a recently refurbished mansion.

Mom Sharon Osbourne, who has been married to heavy-metal superstar Ozzy for 20 years, has complained to Beverly Hills police that tourists are over-running the family's yard.

As a result of the tumult around their home, the Osbournes are dropping hints that a second season will be possible only if MTV agrees to allow the family to film the show at the family's secluded 100-year-old farmhouse in England.

MTV isn't commenting on that idea, even though it was reported in this week's wide-ranging cover story on the Osbournes in Entertainment Weekly magazine.

Nor will MTV say anything about the ongoing negotiations except to confirm that the network would like to see the series continue for a second season.

A spokeswoman would not comment on speculation that some members of the family are against continuing the show.

Indeed, it was just a few weeks ago that the entire family seemed dead set against a second season when they appeared together on "The Tonight Show" with Jay Leno March 29.

"Now, you think you'll do another season or two of the show? Could you live with the cameras in your house anymore?" asked Leno.

The four Osbournes all answered "No!"

Ozzy's Family & Year 2



Make Room For Ozzy

'The Osbournes' Recalls TV's Uncomplicated, Unpierced Past

One advised his teenage son to wear a warm jacket; the other implores his to wear a condom. One favored cardigan sweaters; the other tends toward black T-shirts with skull logos.

One was a middle-aged former bandleader with a sassy, whip-smart wife and a couple of irrepressible kids who made a TV comedy about their lives in Southern California. Which is exactly what the other guy has done, too.

In short, Ozzie Nelson, patriarch of one of TV's oldest families, might recognize his twisted descendant, Ozzy Osbourne, patriarch of one of TV's newest.

During its extraordinary run on ABC from 1952 to 1966, "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" defined, if not a generation, then a generation of family sitcoms. In 435 genial, mostly banal episodes, the Nelsons -- Ozzie, Harriet, David and Ricky -- more or less played themselves on a show that helped establish the domestic sitcom'svisual and thematic vocabulary. What the Nelsons (as well as the Cleavers and the Andersons) begat was an indestructible TV form. Ozzie's offspring include "The Dick Van Dyke Show," "All in the Family," "The Cosby Show," "The Simpsons" and "Everybody Loves Raymond."

And now, here's Ozzy.

The aging, addled satanic rocker is the perpetually mumbling centerpiece of "The Osbournes," which has turned into the most popular series in MTV history. The show, which bowed March 5 and airs Tuesday nights at 10:30, is the result of six months of filming the day-to-day lives of Ozzy, wife Sharon and their children Kelly, 17, and Jack, 16. (An older daughter, Aimee, fled, perhaps wisely, before filming began.) The cameras mostly follow the family around their plush Beverly Hills home, and occasionally into the world at large. MTV has dubbed it a "reality sitcom."

Much of the show's humor comes from the collision of two frames of reference: the indulgence of gonzo-rock stardomand the demands of ordinary family life. ("The Sopranos" and the mock-documentary "This Is Spinal Tap" have riffed on similar themes.) Ozzy is, after all, most famous for biting the head off a live bat during a concert 20 years ago. Here, at 53, copiously tattooed, shuffling and slightly palsied, the former Black Sabbath frontman grapples with (and is forever flummoxed by) the mundane details of his domestic existence.

His is the modern Stone Age family: Kelly sports a thong and a fuchsia-colored do; Jacklikes Army helmets, club-hopping and dope-smoking. On the debut show last month, the family moved into its new house, accompanied by boxes marked "Pots and Pans," "Dishes" and "Devil Heads." One reviewer suggested the show be called "The Munsters, 90210."

Yet notwithstanding its bleeped language and verite shocks, the most striking thing about the show is its retro quality, its abiding Ozzie-ness.

"The Osbournes" both apes and mocks 50 years ofdomestic sitcom cliche. It's a parody of the genre -- see those winking '60s-style credits, hear that treacly theme music? -- and a homage to it.

Its themes are the same as those sitcoms of the 1950s: family solidarity, parental respect, moral growth, gender and generational conflict, honesty, loving (or merely coexisting with) thy neighbor. The key difference is that the Osbournes, unlike the Nelsons, don't resolve their problems inside of 23 minutes.

But just mix and match the players a bit and you could almost be in the Nelsons' back yard again, chatting over the fence with Thorny. The Encyclopedia of Broadcasting might even be describing "The Osbournes" in its synopsis of "Ozzie and Harriet":

"The genial, bumbling Ozzie was the narrative linchpin of [the show], attempting to steer his young sons into the proper paths (usually rather ineffectually) and attempting to assert his ego in a household in which he was often ill at ease. That ego, and that household, were held together by wise homemaker Harriet. . . . Harriet represented the voice of reason on Ozzie and Harriet, rescuing Ozzie -- and occasionally David and Rick -- from the consequences of over-impulsive behavior."

Both shows, points out TV historian Steven Stark, owe some of their popularity to their verisimilitude, the idea that audiences believe that the Nelsons and Osbournes truly play themselves. Ozzie Nelson often adapted his family's real-world experiences (including the boys' marriages) into his scripts.

"The whole premise of stand-up comedy," says Stark, the author of "Glued to the Tube," "is that you actually believe Henny Youngman doesn't like his wife when he says, 'Take my wife, please.' By the same token, TV performers have always benefited from the idea that they are joking about something personal, like George Burns and Gracie Allen, or Jack Benny, or Johnny Carson making jokes about his divorces."

Ozzie also started what Ozzy perpetuates: the classic portrayal of Dad as a doofus, the butt of the household joke.

Few sitcom conventions have been as sturdy as this one. With a few key exceptions, (Jim Anderson of "Father Knows Best," Cliff Huxtable of "The Cosby Show," Mike Brady of "The Brady Bunch"), TV dads get no respect. Schemers, dreamers, good-hearted or otherwise, they're forever taking the fall, undone by flawed character or excessive ambition.

Think Ray Barone, Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor, Al Bundy, Homer Simpson, Archie Bunker, George Jefferson, Hank Hill, Ralph Kramden and Ed Norton, Fred and Barney,Hal on "Malcolm in the Middle." The male authority figure on domestic sitcoms is forever going down.

So Ozzy is the befuddled, feckless Everydad. So Ozzy tries to corral and control his restless brood, failing hilariously, as sitcom dads inevitably do.

When Ozzy leans on Sharon to forbid Kelly from bringing home a kitten, you know he'll lose (sure enough, there's Kitty at episode's end, tearing up the furniture). When Kelly comes home with a tiny tattoo, Ozzy (his skin covered in ink) lectures her in a sublime moment of Homer Simpson hypocrisy. When Oz is baffled by the zapper that controls his complicated satellite TV system ("Wot! I'm stuck on the Weather Channel!"), he's George Jetson on that infernal dog-walking treadmill ("Jane! Stop this crazy thing!").

Sharon Osbourne, too, betrays many of the conventional attributes of the sitcom wife. Don't let the pearls and aprons fool you. Though always proper, the women of '50s family TV were usually shrewd, tough (and droll) operators. (Stark speculates that this was because no network could afford to alienate female viewers, lest they lose customers for the sponsors' products).

That's our Sharon; she's the one who holds her fractious family together, just as Donna Reed did, and Florida Evans did on "Good Times." She is nanny, nurse and arbitrator, wife and mom (both to her kids and her sputtering husband). The one new dimension she adds is as the family's business manager and show-biz brains, inverting the whole Ricky-Lucy paradigm. Among other things, Sharon arranges Ozzy's popular Ozzfest concerts (this leads to a great "Spinal Tap"-type moment, when Ozzy learns that she has added bubbles to the pyrotechnic repertoire: "Bubbles! I won't have bleeping bubbles! I'm the Prince of bleeping Darkness, Sharon!")

The distance between the Nelsons and the Osbournes grows smaller still when one considers the parallel relationship of both shows to rock music. By featuring Ricky's budding singing talents on "Ozzie and Harriet," the show put its stamp of approval on rock-and-roll, demonstrating that it could be clean-cut and middle class. "The Osbournes" does something similar. Satanic rock? "The Osbournes" reveals it to be a silly show-biz con (in case there were ever any lingering doubts).

The ultimate revelation about the Osbournes is that they, like the Nelsons, are a tight-knit family, ordinary in their problems but extraordinary in their resilience. Their occasional sharp exchanges might be seen as hostility, but from another angle they're just brutal honesty; the Osbournes display more of it than almost anyone on TV. They certainly rally round each other when the situation demands (when Kelly learns that the family's idle-rich neighbors have ridiculed Ozzy's many crucifixes, the indignant daughter explodes, "He worked for those bleeping crosses!").

Alas, it seems inevitable that "The Osbournes" aren't long for this world. Much of its appeal is its naturalism, the unaffected way in which the family interacts, heedless of the cameras. All of that was captured before the show started climbing up the Nielsens. Now the Osbournes are appearing on magazine covers. They know the whole world is watching. Or at least 7 million viewers did last week. (That's a monstrous number by MTV standards, but below average for a broadcast network.)

"The Osbournes' " popularity hints at the TV equivalent of the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle: Observation changes the behavior of the thing being observed. How long will it be before the Osbournes start playing to the camera, becoming as affected and self-conscious as the kids on "The Real World"?

Nevertheless, this one season of "The Osbournes" has burnished the enduring message of the family sitcom, one destined to be recycled for another 50 years: Come what may, you can still come home. When Ozzy, the heavy-metal burnout of a father, sighs "I love you all. I love you more than life itself," you want to believe it.

Yes, Ozzy actually said that. Or maybe -- it's hard to tell -- that was Ozzie.

Make Room For Ozzy


In Hollywood, On Friday

Ozzy Osbourne

Ozzy Osbourne, center, poses with his family after he was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame Friday, April 12, 2002. At far left is Osbourne's older daughter Aimee, his wife, Sharon, second left, Kelly, 17, third from right, and Jack, 16, second right, and his son Louis, from a previous marriage, is at far right. Photo by Nick Ut

Heavy metal superstar Ozzy Osbourne, infamous for biting the head off a bat in his younger days, received a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Friday for his dark brand of showmanship.

Wearing a black suit, a large gold cross and round, blue glasses, with bright red streaks in his brown hair, Osbourne accepted the star with humility.

"To say that this is an honor is not enough," he said. "This is just so overwhelming, with all of you turning out so early in the morning to see my old butt."

The crowd of nearly 1,000 shrieking fans was a sea of multicolored hair, pierced faces and tattoos. Some waved wrinkled posters of the singer or scrawled his name across their foreheads in black ink.

Fittingly, his star was placed in the sidewalk in front of Hollywood Boulevard's "Ripley's Believe It or Not" museum of oddities.

Shock-rocker Marilyn Manson introduced the singer, saying Osbourne's life is evidence that "eternally unhappy" people do not necessarily have to "go insane or become criminals."

"This star right here proves that it's quite obvious that Ozzy has managed to succeed while remaining insane and strangely happy despite his various crimes against God and nature," Manson said.

Osbourne helped popularize heavy metal in the 1970s with Black Sabbath, which had hits such as "Iron Man" and "War Pigs." The band has sold nearly 25 million records in the United States.

Osbourne also has had a successful solo career with hits including "Bark at the Moon," "Crazy Train" and "Shot in the Dark." His albums have sold 35 million copies worldwide.

Despite his wild-man reputation, the singer appears on "The Osbournes" as a loving, somewhat befuddled dad who gives his children sage advice about the dangers of sex, drugs and booze.

He speaks from experience; the Birmingham, England, musician has long battled substance abuse, and was notorious in his younger years for trashing hotel rooms, mistreating animals and languishing in drug-addled stupors.

Ozzy Osbourne

Far left, Aimee, wife Sharon, (2nd L), Kelly, 17, (2nd R), and Jack, 16, (R).  Photo by Jim Ruymen Honorary Mayor of Hollywood Johnny Grant, left, Ozzy, Sharon, and Jack, right. Photo by Nick Ut Ozzy kisses Sharon. Photo by Jim Ruymen Ozzy, Sharon, Kelly, Jack, Marilyn Manson, 2nd left, and Robbie Williams, right. Photo by Nick Ut Ozzy, Marilyn Manson (L). Photo by Jim Ruymen Ozzy touches his star. Posing with Osbourne are Marilyn Manson (L) and Robbie Williams. Photo by Jim Ruymen


Friday, April 12, Hollywood Walk Of Fame



Next Friday, April 12, Ozzy will receive his star on Hollywood's Walk of Fame in front of the Ripley's Believe It or Not Museum, 6780 Hollywood Boulevard at the corner of Hollywood Blvd. and Highland Av. The ceremony will take place at 11:30am and Ozzy extends the invitation to all his fans to come down and share in the moment. Ozzy, the family, and other luminaries will be there to drink in the occasion, so if you're in SoCal you can't dare miss this!

For more details,

Hollywood Chamber Of Commerce 'Walk Of Fame' Site has a bit of info about it, too.

Woo-hoo! Road trip Friday!


Greta Van Susteren's Guest


Ozzy Will Visit White House

If the Commander in Chief breaks bread with Ozzy Osbourne next month, relax; George W. Bush is not a closet metalhead, nor is it a sign of the coming apocalypse.

The unlikely meeting would happen at the annual White House Correspondents Association dinner, where the godfather of heavy metal and his wife, Sharon, will be the guests of TV news anchor Greta Van Susteren and Fox News Channel, according to a network spokesperson. Guests are invited by members of the association to sit at their respective tables, and the Osbournes accepted FNC's offer earlier this week.

Now in its 88th year, the White House Correspondents Association dinner is a goodwill gesture between the White House and the journalists who cover it. President George W. Bush is scheduled to attend this year's event, which will take place May 4 at the Washington Hilton in the nation's capital.

Ozzy Will Visit White House


Water-Cooler Show Of The Week

'The Osbournes'

It was the water-cooler question of the week: "Did you see him fall over in the chair?"

And there he was--the pioneering, bat-beheading god of heavy metal, Ozzy Osbourne, sprawled out on the floor after accidentally tumbling from a director's chair. This, during the latest hilarious episode of MTV's smash reality hit The Osbournes.

Not since the days of Chevy Chase or perhaps even Dick Van Dyke, has an on-screen pratfall resonated so strongly with American TV viewers. And this one wasn't even scripted.

The infatuation with Ozzy, his wife-manager Sharon and their kids, Kelly and Jack, is only growing: Tuesday night's episode of The Osbournes pulled in a whopping 7.1 million viewers, the largest audience yet for a show that's become MTV's biggest success to date. Last week, it was the fourth most-watched program on cable. And since its debut, the 13-episode series has averaged 6 million viewers, even grabbing the attention of the New York Times. One British tabloid claimed President George W. Bush was a fan of the show and invited the Ozzman to the White House for dinner.

If it weren't for the fact that Osbourne was once banned from Texas for urinating on the Alamo, we'd almost believe it. Still, after just a handful of episodes--which feature the rocker fumbling with his remote control, sparring with noisy yuppie neighbors, racking his brain over dog excrement, complaining about the bubble machine at his concert ("Bubbles?! I'm the Prince of [bleeping] Darkness!") and harassing his daughter about a gynecologist appointment--the series is garnering the kind of critical praise usually reserved for HBO shows like The Sopranos and Six Feet Under.

Now, a soundtrack is in the works. Pink-haired 17-year-old daughter Kelly Osbourne told MTV this week that she's planning to record a cover of Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach" with backing from members of rock band Incubus for a soundtrack to The Osbournes due in May.

"I didn't choose the song," she said. "My mom did and asked me to do it. I'm kind of crapping myself because I don't think I'm a very good singer."

Mother Osbourne is making the entire project a family affair: Kelly's 16-year-old brother Jack is producing the song. No word on other soundtrack details--like, for instance, whether "Jack Sabbath" will be contributing a track--but the album is reportedly due out sometime in May.

'The Osbournes'



Ozzy & The Alamo

The strangest story to appear in the English press of late is that strange old rocker Ozzy Osbourne has been invited to a White House dinner. They say President Dubya is a huge fan of the MTV miniseries about Ozzy and his dysfunctional family. I wonder if Bush knows that his home state of Texas has a lifetime ban on Osbourne performing there because he once urinated on the Alamo monument while wearing a dress.

Ozzy & The Alamo



Kelly Osbourne

Ozzy Osbourne's teen-age daughter is following in her father's musical footsteps, but don't expect her to bark at the moon.

Kelly Osbourne is recording a cover of "Papa Don't Preach," a No. 1 hit for Madonna in 1986, with Incubus members Mike Einziger and Jose Pasillas II.

The guys in Incubus have been friends with the Osbournes since first playing the Ozzfest concert tour in 1998, Incubus spokeswoman Melissa Dragich said Thursday. Einziger, the guitarist, and Pasillas, the drummer, agreed to back Kelly up before the band begins a U.S. tour next week.

But Kelly says she didn't choose to sing Madonna's rebellious pop song, which will appear on the soundtrack to the hit new MTV series "The Osbournes," due out in May.

"My mom did and asked me to do it," the pink-haired 17-year-old told MTV News this week. "I'm kind of (worried) because I don't think I'm a very good singer."

Kelly Osbourne



Ozzie & PETA

Oh, how that "tune in, turn on, drop out" generation does evolve!

It wasn't so long ago that former Black Sabbath frontman Ozzy Osbourne was biting the heads off bats. Now, the 53-year-old metal rocker has hooked up with those paint-flingers at PETA, People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Osbourne, who's the subject of a hit show on MTV, wants South Korea to end its cruelty to dogs and cats and has signed a PETA petition that denounces the Koreans' taste for dog.

"It is a long tradition to eat dog meat, just as Americans eat cow meat," says a spokesman for the Korean Embassy. "The government is trying to enforce the law not to treat dogs cruelly."

Ozzy & PETA



Reader Contribution

Favourite Osbourne Quote

I have a favourite Osbourne quote to submit.  Well, not actually a quote from the TV show, but from the man himself Ozzy in 'The Mirror'.
On his recent invitation for dinner at the White House, Ozzy remarked "I don't know why that is. I thought I'd be on a wanted poster up on the wall, not asked to his place for tea"
I don't know whether Ozzy is, beneath his burnt-out exterior, a clever, talented & understated observer of human nature, or an idiot savant whose talent is to cut through the bullshit of any given moment with a few simple words that underscore a deeper truth.  I've outgrown Ozzy's music, but I've got a whole new appreciation for Ozzy the man.  I'm echoing words from my teens when I say, but with a whole different meaning today - "Ozzy Rules!!".
tim h., in Canada

Thanks, tim. Great quote!
Not that the whole story (with quote) might show up if one were to scroll down a bit...(LOL)



Invited To The White House

Ozzy Osbourne 'invited to White House'

Wildman rocker Ozzy Osbourne has reportedly been invited to dinner at the White House by US president George W Bush, according to reports.

It follows the hugely successful launch of a new reality TV show following the UK singer and his family.

The Osbournes has become music channel MTV's biggest ever hit in the US, with more than three million viewers and President Bush is said to be a huge fan.

Osbourne said he was stunned to be invited, according to the Express newspaper.

He said: "I thought I'd be on a wanted poster on the wall, not invited to his place to tea."

The TV show follows the real-life family sagas of the former Black Sabbath frontman - previously better known for stage antics like biting the head off a bat than for being a family man.

Osbourne, 53, his wife and manager Sharon and their children Kelly, 17, and Jack, 16, have all been filmed going about their daily lives in their Beverly Hills home.

Osbourne's other daughter Aimee refused to take part in the programme, and even moved out of the family home while filming took place.

Viewers see Osbourne giving his children advice on sex, drink and drugs, arguing with neighbours who keep him awake at night by playing folk music too loud and having to seek advice from his son on how to use a new digital TV.

The singer, originally from Birmingham, made his name in heavy metal band Black Sabbath and earned a reputation as one of the wildest rock stars.

He has battled drink and drug addictions, been notorious for trashing cars and hotel rooms, bitten the head off a live dove in a meeting with record executives and spent time in jail after urinating on The Alamo.

He still releases solo albums and heads the popular annual Ozzfest rock festival.

Viewers will also see scenes such as the family moving home, and packing boxes with one marked "linens" and another marked "dead things".

The show will start on 25 May on MTV UK and Ireland.

Invited To The White House



Yahoo Search - Ozzy

Yahoo Search - Ozzy



Wizard of Ozzie

''The Osbournes''' metal-head guide to parenting. Yes, the surprise hit series is good fun, says Ken Tucker, but it also shows us a real family dealing with real issues.

Like ''The Simpsons'' before them, ''The Osbournes'' has proven to be a wacky-on-the-outside, wise-on-the-inside television guidebook to parenting. Just as the besotted, self-centered excesses of Homer and the wiseacre irreverence of Bart Simpson initially attracted a fair amount of media grousing about poor examples of family life, so did drug-veteran Ozzy and his pair of irreverent offspring, teenagers Kelly and Jack, seem to some viewers the nightmare result of permissiveness. And in both shows, it's the woman of the house -- Marge in Springfield, Sharon in Beverly Hills -- who are the voices of sanity and discipline.

But since ''The Osbournes'' are real people as opposed to cartoons, and since they're the new TV phenomeon, their family dynamic bears close scrutiny just now. With each new installment we get a better, deeper understanding of Ozzy and Sharon's parenting style, and as such, they offer everyone who tunes in (and suddenly, a lot of middle-agers I know are watching MTV on Tuesday nights) some valuable tips on dealing with parental/teen divisiveness. To put it in a frame of reference baby-boomers will follow, ''The Osbournes'' is ''Dr. Spock'' for metal-heads.

For the rest, Wizard of Ozzie



All About 'The Osbournes'

Entertainment Weekly's | All About 'The Osbournes'



No Rest for Family Values on Black Sabbath

Dad was snoring on the couch through most of his family's antics on last week's episode of "The Osbournes." But when he discovered that his wife planned to liven up his next concert by filling the stage with bubbles, Ozzy Osbourne, 53, snapped to attention.

"Bubbles?!" he hollered indignantly. "Sharon, I'm the Prince of [bleep] Darkness!"

"The Osbournes" is a half-hour show on MTV that follows this once-satanic heavy metal star and his equally foulmouthed wife-manager and two teenagers through daily life in their Baroque-Gothic Beverly Hills mansion. (Crystal, chintz and souvenir death's-heads.)

An odd amalgam of "Ozzie and Harriet," "The Beverly Hillbillies" and "This Is Spinal Tap," the show is the biggest hit in MTV's 24-year history, and its popularity is spreading. Last week the show, on Tuesday nights, drew six million viewers. HBO's "Sex and the City" gets about 6.4 million an episode; "Six Feet Under," also on HBO, gets about 5.4 million.

"The Osbournes" has introduced a new television genre: the docu-sitcom.

Despite the tattoos and endless bleeping, the show stands out mostly because the British rockers are so subversively middle class. An MTV camera crew lived in their house for almost four months last fall and showcased Mr. Osbourne, the former lead singer of Black Sabbath, famous for biting off the heads of bats onstage, as a typical suburban dad. He cannot master the remote control, his unruly household or his wife's menagerie of incontinent cats and dogs.

When his wife tells him that she has hired a pet therapist, Mr. Osbourne looks appalled. "No, darling, you don't need a therapist," he moans. "You need to get up at 7 a.m. and open the [bleep] door." The camera cuts to the Beverly Hills pet therapist, blond and brisk, striding up the drive.

For the rest, 'The Osbournes': No Rest for Family Values on Black Sabbath


The Osbournes



BartCop Entertainment, Monday, 4 March, 2002



BartCop Entertainment, Thursday, 24 January, 2002


Still Seeking Volunteers

'The Osbournes'

Couple of nights ago, put up this page.

C'mon....send your thoughts, your impressions, your views, your favorite quotes...

Send it to Marty
( )

Or send it to this Marty
( )

Or send it to this Marty
( )

You can even send it to this Marty
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