'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Reader Comment
Re: Chimpy
Want to get rid of George W. Bush?
1. Open a new file in your PC
2. Name it "George W. Bush"
3. Send it to the trash
4. Empty the trash
5. Your PC will ask you: "Do you really want to get rid of George W. Bush?"
6. Answer "Yes" and press the mouse button.
~ Kip
********
Soylent Green is Atkins Friendly!
Thanks, Kip!
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
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Weekly Update
Humor Gazette Blog
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
JD's taken the day off.
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Cloudy til lunchtime, sunny and mild the rest of the day.
Watched Big Dog on Oprah - her body language seemed to say there was a big bug up her butt.
Ken Jennings won again on 'Jeopardy' - that's $486,959 so far!
Former President Clinton signs a copy of his book 'My Life' during a book signing event at the Barnes & Noble bookstore, Tuesday, June 22, 2004 in New York.
Photo by Mary Altaffer
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Draft The Boss
Bruce Springsteen
A New York concert promoter has mounted an online campaign to "draft" Bruce Springsteen to headline a rock 'n roll show to upstage the Republican National Convention, but the rock icon appears to be uninterested.
The "Concert for Change," would be held on Sept. 1 at Giants Stadium, across the Hudson River from the Republicans' meeting at Madison Square Garden, said promoter and Democratic activist Andrew Rasiej, who has reserved the date at Springsteen's New Jersey home venue.
An online petition at www.draftbruce.com has been signed by about 50,000 people in 10 days since it was launched, Rasiej said, adding he had also reached out to acts such as REM, The Dave Matthews Band, Bob Dylan and Carlos Santana.
The New Jersey rocker has typically stayed out of politics, but in May posted the text of an anti-war speech by former Vice President Al Gore on his official Web site, calling it "one of the most important speeches I've heard in a long time."
Bruce Springsteen
Keeps R Rating, Widens Debut
'Fahrenheit 9/11'
Backers of documentary "Fahrenheit 9/11" failed to overturn its R rating on Tuesday, restricting young American moviegoers from seeing its critical look at resident Bush and horrific images of the war in Iraq.
But even the R rating does not seem to be quelling audience interest in the film by Oscar-winning director Michael Moore. Distributors Lions Gate Films and IFC Films said "Fahrenheit" has now been booked into 868 theaters for its nationwide debut on Friday, unprecedented for a political documentary.
It has become the most-searched documentary on Web site Yahoo!, and its promotional clip is among the five top-screened film trailers on Yahoo! Movies.
'Fahrenheit 9/11'
Fahrenheit 9/11 - Theater Map
AFI - Top Movie Tune
'Over the Rainbow'
There's no song like "Over the Rainbow." Kansas farm girl Dorothy Gale's wistful ditty in "The Wizard of Oz" led the American Film Institute's list of 100 best movie songs Tuesday, followed by "As Time Goes By" from "Casablanca" at No. 2 and the title tune from "Singin' in the Rain" at No. 3.
The rest of the AFI top 10: 4. "Moon River" from "Breakfast at Tiffany's"; 5. "White Christmas" from "Holiday Inn"; 6. "Mrs. Robinson" from "The Graduate"; 7. "When You Wish Upon a Star" from "Pinocchio"; 8. "The Way We Were" from "The Way We Were"; 9. "Stayin' Alive" from "Saturday Night Fever"; 10. "The Sound of Music" from "The Sound of Music."
Two other songs made the list from both "The Sound of Music" ("My Favorite Things" at No. 64 and "Do Re Mi" at No. 88) and "Singin' in the Rain" ("Make 'Em Laugh" at No. 49 and "Good Morning" at No. 72). "West Side Story" also landed three songs: "Somewhere" (No. 20), "America" (No. 35) and "Tonight" (No. 59).
Other tunes ranged from sublime with Paul Robeson's "Ol' Man River (No. 24) from the 1936 version of "Show Boat" and Garland's "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (No. 76) from "Meet Me in St. Louis" to the goofy with "Springtime for Hitler" (No. 80) from Mel Brooks' "The Producers" and Gene Wilder and Peter Boyle's wacky rendition of "Puttin' on the Ritz" (No. 89) from Brooks' "Young Frankenstein."
For more, 'Over the Rainbow'
Blues musician B.B. King (C), Spanish flamenco musician Raimundo Amador (L) and Dr. John pose for photographers in Valencia, June 22, 2004. The three legendary musicians start a tour June 23 in Valencia which will take them to five Spanish cities.
Photo by Heino Kalis
Fears Flying, Can't Get to D.C.
Doris Day
Doris Day is honored to be receiving a Presidential Medal of Freedom, but the entertainer's fear of flying will keep her from traveling to Washington Wednesday to accept it from resident Bush.
Day is one of 12 people being awarded the nation's highest civilian honor.
Day blames her fear of flying on too many overseas trips with Bob Hope entertaining U.S. troops.
"Bob would fly even if a cyclone was coming," she recalled. "I saw him on his knees many a time. In fact, we were all on our knees. We flew in snowstorms, whatever, to get to the next show. When I hit the ground, I said, `Never again.'"
Doris Day
Canceled Due to Poor Sales
Lollapalooza
The Lollapalooza music festival tour has been canceled because of poor ticket sales, according to its Web site.
The tour, featuring Morrissey, Sonic Youth and The Flaming Lips, had been set to begin July 14 in Auburn, Wash., and continue through August, including stops in Toronto, New York, Atlanta and Dallas.
Tour organizers and concert promoters "faced with several million dollars of losses, made the very tough decision to pull the tour," the Web site said Tuesday.
Lollapalooza
Treated for Eating Disorder
Mary-Kate Olsen
Teen actress Mary-Kate Olsen, who with her twin sister Ashley has grown into an American pop icon and fashion brand, has entered a program for treatment of an eating disorder reported to be anorexia.
The 18-year-old co-star of last month's film "New York Minute" recently "entered a treatment facility to seek professional help for a health-related issue," publicist Michael Pagnotta said on Tuesday.
Speculation about Olsen's rail-thin figure has been the subject of tabloids, gossip columns and the Internet for weeks. The actress herself poked fun at the issue during the twins' recent appearance on "Saturday Night Live," shouting to an extra playing herself, "You're too skinny! Eat a sandwich!"
Mary-Kate Olsen
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Senate OKs Higher Fines
Indecency
Faced with public ire over racy language, explicit scenes and skin-baring outfits, the Senate overwhelmingly agreed on Tuesday to fine radio and television broadcasters and personalities as much as $3 million a day for airing indecent entertainment.
After the uproar stoked by Janet Jackson and Justin Timberland's "wardrobe malfunction" at this year's Super Bowl, the Senate rushed the bill through on a 99-1 vote without floor debate.
Under the measure, the maximum fine for both broadcasters and entertainers would increase to up to $275,000 per indecent incident, up from $27,500 for license holders and $11,000 for personalities. The fines would keep increasing for each incident until a maximum fine of $3 million a day is reached.
Indecency
Actor and U.S. Fund for UNICEF National Ambassador, Laurence Fishburne meets some children orphaned by AIDS in a village near Durban, South Africa,on Sunday, June 19 2004. Fishburne returned to the United States from South Africa Tuesday, June 22, after spending four days in the country visiting UNICEF programs that assist and protect children made vulnerable by HIV and AIDS. Over 28 million people live with HIV and AIDS in sub-Saharan Africa, home to 80 percent of the children orphaned by the disease.
Photo by Antoine De Ras
Baby News, Part 1
Liv Tyler
"The Lord of the Rings" star Liv Tyler is pregnant with her first child, People magazine says.
Tyler, the daughter of Aerosmith's lead singer, Steven Tyler, is married to rock singer Royston Langdon, of the band Spacehog.
Her baby is due this winter, People said Monday.
Liv Tyler
Baby News, Part 2
Claudia Schiffer
Supermodel Claudia Schiffer is expecting her second child, a spokeswoman for the 33-year-old said on Tuesday.
German-born Schiffer, who is married to British film producer Matthew Vaughn and lives in Suffolk, eastern England, gave birth to the couple's first child, Caspar in January last year.
Claudia Schiffer
Pose Nude for Calendar
Australian Athletes
Swimmer Michael Klim and basketball player Lauren Jackson were among 35 Australian Olympic athletes who posed nude for a calendar released on Tuesday.
The Athens Dream, a 220-page special issue of Black+White magazine, retails at $22.74.
Australian athletes also shed their clothes for the Olympic edition of the magazine in 1996 and 2000.
Australian Athletes
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Hit in Eye With Lollipop
David Bowie
Halfway through his third song at a Norwegian music festival, an object came flying out of the crowd and hit David Bowie in the eye.
It was a lollipop, probably sent as a message of adoration since Norwegians call the hard candy "love on a stick."
Bowie wasn't seriously injured at Friday's Norwegian Wood Festival in Oslo. He backed off the runway, hunched over, and was assisted by his set crew.
Within moments, he was facing the crowd of 7,500. Swearing at the unknown culprit, Bowie said he only had one good eye. The other eye had been damaged in a childhood fight.
"Lucky you hit the bad one," Bowie said, demanding to know who threw the lollipop. No one standing in the cold and drizzle came forward.
Bowie grumbled about the person or persons responsible hiding in the crowd. Then, regaining his composure and sense of humor, the 57-year-old singer said he was going to punish the audience by making the concert extra-long.
David Bowie
World War II veteran Lev Yatsevich holds a candle while standing near the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier next to the Kremlin wall to commemorate the 63nd anniversary of the Nazi invasion of the former Soviet Union, Moscow, early Tuesday, June 22, 2004. War memories remain strong in Russia, where losses reached 27 million people, touching almost every family.
Photo by Alexander Zemlianichenko
Adopts Baseball Theme in New Tour
Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan will tour minor-league ballparks across the country this summer, beginning Aug. 6 in Cooperstown, N.Y., home of the Baseball Hall of Fame.
Dylan will be joined on the 22-date concert tour by Willie Nelson and The Hot Club of Cowtown. The tour will run through Sept. 4, Columbia Records announced Monday.
The Bob Dylan Show will include stops in Connecticut, Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Virginia, South Carolina, Tennessee, Kentucky, Indiana, Michigan, Illinois, Wisconsin, Iowa, Nebraska, Oklahoma and Kansas.
Bob Dylan
Extra Reruns of Rigged Show Bump 'Queer Eye'
'Last Comic Standing'
Following a strong second season debut, NBC's reality series "Last Comic Standing" will get double exposure.
Beginning June 30 through July 28, the original episodes of the standup comedians competition, which air on Tuesday at 9 p.m., will be rebroadcast the following night, Wednesday, at 8 p.m.
The episodes of Bravo's makeover reality hit "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy," previously scheduled for the Wednesday 8 p.m. slot on June 30, July 7 and July 14, will be rescheduled.
'Last Comic Standing'
Auctions Works by Top Artists
Sotheby's
About 60 works by impressionist and modern artists sold for more than $111 million at a Sotheby's auction, with Amedeo Modigliani's 1918 work, "Boy With Blue Waistcoat," drawing the highest amount: $11.2 million.
Van Gogh's "Two Crabs" earned the second highest amount - $9.4 million - easily surpassing its estimate. Egon Schiele's 1913 work, "Liebespaar," was bought for $3.5 million, a record for a work on paper by the artist.
Sotheby's
Tran Van Hay, 67, from Chau Thanh district in the southern Kien Giang province of Vietnam poses for a photo showing his over 6.2 meters (20.34 feet) long hair Saturday June 19, 2004. Hay has his name written in the Vietnam Guinness Book of records and is expected to have his name written in the world's Guinness record book soon. Hay has not had his hair cut for 31 years.
Photo by Thanh Nien
Hundreds More Sued
RIAA
The music industry filed copyright infringement lawsuits against 482 computer users Tuesday, the latest round of litigation by recording companies against suspected online music file-swappers.
The cases were filed against 213 people in St. Louis, 206 in Washington D.C., 55 in Denver and six in New Jersey, according to the Recording Industry Association of America, the Washington-based trade group that represents the major recording companies.
As in previous complaints brought by the industry this year, the lawsuits were filed against unnamed "John Doe" defendants, identified only by their computers' Internet protocol addresses.
RIAA
Prime-Time Nielsen
Ratings
Prime-time viewership numbers compiled by Nielsen Media Research for June 14-20. Listings include the week's ranking, with viewership for the week and season-to-date rankings in parentheses.
An "X" in parentheses denotes a one-time-only presentation.
1. (X) "NBA Finals-Game 5: L.A. Lakers at Detroit Pistons," ABC, 21.8 million viewers.
2. (17) "60 Minutes," CBS, 15.8 million viewers.
3. (1) "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS, 14.1 million viewers.
4. (9) "CSI: Miami," CBS, 14 million viewers.
5. (12) "Without a Trace," CBS, 12.8 million viewers.
6. (13) "Law & Order," NBC, 11.8 million viewers.
7. (19) "Cold Case," CBS, 11.4 million viewers.
8. (11) "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS, 11.4 million viewers.
9. (15) "Two And a Half Men," CBS, 11 million viewers.
10. (64) "Last Comic Standing 2," NBC, 10.4 million viewers.
11. (20) "Law & Order: Special Victims Unit," NBC, 10.3 million viewers.
12. (30) "Navy NCIS," CBS, 9.8 million viewers.
13. (66) "Simple Life 2," Fox, 9.8 million viewers.
14. (X) "Last Comic Standing 2,"-Wednesday, NBC, 9.8 million viewers.
15. (X) "CSI: Miami," CBS, 9.5 million viewers.
16. (44) "Dateline NBC"-Friday, NBC, 9.4 million viewers.
17. (22) "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," NBC, 9.3 million viewers.
18. (27) "Fear Factor," NBC, 9.1 million viewers.
19. (39) "60 Minutes,"-Wednesday, CBS, 9 million viewers.
20. (25) "Crossing Jordan," NBC, 8.9 million viewers.
Ratings
Japan-born male giant panda Xiong Bang is seen in its new home at the Giant Panda Breeding and Research Center in Chengdu, capital of southwest China's Sichuan Province, Tuesday, June 22, 2004. Xiong Bang arrived in Chengdu via Beijing from Japan by air on Tuesday. The two-year-old giant panda is the son of Yong Ming and Mei Mei, a panda couple leased by China to the Adventure World Park Zoo in western Japan's Wakayama prefecture in 1994 and 2000 respectively.
Photo by Sun Shu
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
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'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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