'Best of TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
The Wall Street Poet
Thomas Gray On Democratic Also-Rans
Thomas Gray's "Elegy In A Country Courtyard," a tribute to the unheralded and the forgotten, was penned in the mid-18th century. But suppose Gray were writing today and chose as his subjects Democratic presidential candidates. How might some of his elegy¹s most famous lines be rewritten?
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Started out sunny, ended up overcast.
Had dinner early - was afraid Ahnold's speechifying would cause a loss of appetite.
Local media is giving Ahnold a Hummer, and not the kind with 4 wheels.
Was gonna watch Tavis Smiley on PBS tonight, but, jeez, Newtie was his first guest. Had more than republican bullshit already today, so watched the crappy excuse for local news instead.
Tonight, Wednesday, CBS opens the night with '60 Minutes II', followed by a FRESH 'King Of Queens', then
a FRESH 'Becker', followed by '48 Hours'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Marv Albert and Eddie Griffin.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Anthony Anderson and Diane Schuur.
NBC starts the night with a FRESH 'Ed', followed by a FRESH 'West Wing', then a
FRESH 'Law & Order' (starts 1 minute before the top of the hour).
On a RERUN Jay (from 11/6/03), are Russell Crowe, Steve Irwin, and ZZ Top.
On a RERUN Conan (from 10/8/03), are Lucy Liu, Michael Moore, and Gov't Mule.
On a RERUN Carson Daly (from 12/16/03), are Sir Ben Kingsley, Greg Giraldo, and Jack Johnson with G. Love.
ABC begins the evening with a FRESH 'My Wife & Kids', followed by a FRESH 'It's All Relative', then a
FRESH 'Life After Extreme Makeover', followed by the Season Premiere of 'Celebrity Mole Yucatan'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Cheryl Hines and Anthony Anderson, with this week's guest co-host Dane Cook.
The WB offers a RERUN 'Smallville', followed by a RERUN 'Angel'.
Faux has a FRESH 'That 70s Show', followed by a FRESH 'Simple Life', then a FRESH 'The O.C.'.
UPN has a RERUN 'Enterprise', followed by a RERUN 'Jake 2.0'.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Biography' (Donald Trump), 'American Justice', and 'The Michael Jackson Case'.
AMC offers the movie 'The Terminator', followed by the movie 'Dr. No', then a 'special' - 'Bond Girls Are Forever'.
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Pender;
[7pm] 'House Invaders' - Northfield;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Formby;
[8pm] 'The Life Laundry' - Haslemere;
[8:30pm] 'Escape to the Country' - Congleton to Carmarthenshire;
[9pm] 'My Hero - Christmas';
[9:40pm] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 1;
[10:20pm] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 2;
[11pm] 'The Life Laundry' - Haslemere;
[11:30pm] 'Escape to the Country' - Congleton to Carmarthenshire;
[12am] 'My Hero' - Christmas;
[12:40am] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 1;
[1:20am] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 2;
[2am] 'The Life Laundry' - Haslemere;
[2:30am] 'Escape to the Country' - Congleton to Carmarthenshire;
[3am] 'My Hero' - Christmas;
[3:40am] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 1;
[4:20am] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 2;
[5am] 'The Life Laundry' - Haslemere;
[5:30am] 'Escape to the Country' - Congleton to Carmarthenshire; and
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EST)
Bravo has 'West Wing', followed by the movie 'The Messenger: The Story Of Joan Of Arc', and 'West Wing'.
Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', 'Crank Yankers', 'Insomniac', 'South Park', another 'South Park', and 'Chappelle's Show'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Elijah Wood.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Winter Warriors', 'Ice Road Truckers', and another 'Modern Marvels'.
SciFi has the movie 'Sleepwalkers', followed by the movie 'The Storm Of The Century' (part 2 of 3), then the movie 'Child Of Darkness, Child Of Light'.
TCM has neatly divided the day into thirds - the first third pays tribute to
Dennis Morgan. The 2nd third features films with
Joel McCrea, and the last third celebrates a very young
Katharine Hepburn.
[6am] 'MGM Parade Show #21' (1955);
[6:30am] 'God Is My Co-Pilot' (1945);
[8am] 'Captains Of The Clouds' (1942);
[10am] 'Wings For The Eagle' (1942);
[11:30am] 'Cheyenne' (1947);
[1:15pm] 'Colorado Territory' (1949);
[3pm] 'Stars In My Crown' (1950);
[4:30pm] 'Fort Massacre' (1958);
[6pm] 'Ride The High Country' (1962);
[8pm] 'Little Women' (1933);
[10pm] 'Katharine Hepburn: All About Me' (1993);
[11:30pm] 'Christopher Strong' (1933);
[1am] 'The Little Minister' (1934);
[3am] 'Break of Hearts' (1935);
[4:30am] 'A Woman Rebels' (1936). (ALL TIMES EST)
Singer Celine Dion shows her excitement as she steps onto her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame in Hollywood, January 6, 2004. Dion has sold over 155 million albums worldwide, making her one of the biggest female recording artist of all time. TV talk show host Jay Leno is at right.
Photo by Lucy Nicholson
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Snubs 'Cold Mountain' in Best Film Race
Directors Guild of America
The race for Oscars gold took an unexpected turn on Tuesday when a major list of nominees for best film director snubbed Anthony Minghella and his widely-hailed Civil War epic "Cold Mountain" but gave a nod to Gary Ross's horse racing saga, "Seabiscuit."
The widely-respected Directors Guild of America, an association representing movie directors, put Peter Jackson and his smash box office hit "Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King," on the list of best film director nominees along with Peter Weir for his seafaring epic, "Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World."
Rounding out the list of five nominees were Clint Eastwood with crime thriller "Mystic River," and Sofia Coppola for her Tokyo romance, "Lost in Translation."
Some Oscar watchers attributed Minghella's absence to a timing issue as ballots for the DGA awards were mailed out on December 8, but "Cold Mountain" did not debut until Christmas day, Dec. 25, meaning ballots could have been returned early.
Only six times since 1949 has the winner of the DGA's honor not won the best director Oscar, and 10 of the past 14 PGA winners have claimed the best film Oscar, which is the U.S. film industry's top award given out by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. Oscars will be awarded on Feb. 29.
Directors Guild of America
Releases Albums to Broadband Jukeboxes
Jimmy Buffett
Jimmy Buffett hopes the legions of his dedicated fans will find their way back to Margaritaville via the digital highway.
On Tuesday, a week before Buffett's newest albums hit retail stores, the tropical folk-rock star released the pair of CDs via 1,800 digital jukeboxes in restaurants, nightclubs, bars and other watering holes nationwide.
The coin and credit card-operated jukeboxes are run by San Francisco-based digital media firm Ecast Inc.
Jimmy Buffett
A giant spherical puzzle of the globe, claimed to be the largest spherical puzzle ever made by a Taiwanese toy company, is displayed on the opening day of the 30th Hong Kong Toys & Games Fair January 6, 2004. The 1,500-piece puzzle measures 1.5 meters in diameter and has a price tag of US$3,500. As the world's third largest and the biggest toys and games fair in Asia with more than 1,800 exhibitors, the fair is a platform for toys traders worldwide.
Photo by Bobby Yip
Turns 80
Earl Scruggs
Some of Nashville's finest pickers threw a surprise party Tuesday for banjo great Earl Scruggs on his 80th birthday — and they brought their instruments with them.
Scruggs, whose three-fingered approach to playing the instrument is credited by many with giving bluegrass music its distinctive sound, accepted a banjo-shaped cake and watched an all-star cast perform "Foggy Mountain Breakdown."
Vince Gill, Ricky Skaggs, Alison Krauss, Marty Stuart, Brenda Lee, Porter Wagoner, Bela Fleck, Sam Bush, Jim Lauderdale, members of the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band and many others attended the celebration at the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum.
Resident Bush sent his congratulations, as did actor Billy Bob Thornton and musical stars Don Henley, Dolly Parton and Dwight Yoakam.
"I always felt like Earl was to the five-string banjo what Babe Ruth was to baseball," Wagoner said. "He is the best there ever was, and the best there ever will be."
Earl Scruggs
NBC Discussing 'Dateline' Leave
Maria Shriver
NBC News is talking with California first lady Maria Shriver about an extended leave from her "Dateline NBC" job.
NBC News President Neal Shapiro is expected to meet with Shriver next week in California, his spokeswoman, Allison Gollust, said Tuesday. "Given that this is uncharted territory for both Neal and Maria, they are working together to figure out what's best for everyone," she said.
Gollust denied a New York Daily News report that NBC had asked Shriver to resign because of concerns about how she could maintain a reporter's objectivity while involved in the administration of her husband, California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger — who was giving his first state of the state speech Tuesday.
A resignation hasn't been discussed, but an extended leave or limited role at NBC are possibilities, she said.
Maria Shriver
Singing Anthem at Super Bowl
Beyonce Knowles
Beyonce Knowles will sing the national anthem before the Super Bowl in her native Houston, the NFL announced Tuesday.
Super Bowl XXXVIII is scheduled for Feb. 1 at Reliant Stadium and will be televised on CBS.
Beyonce Knowles
Super Bowl
UPDATED FOR 2004!
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Guesting On 'Scrubs'
Michael J. Fox
Sitcom veteran Michael J. Fox will appear in two episodes of NBC's "Scrubs" next month as a doctor who suffers from obsessive-compulsive disorder.
Fox, whose television appearances have been limited because of his Parkinson's disease is reuniting with Bill Lawrence, executive producer of "Scrubs" and creator of Fox's last series, "Spin City."
Michael J. Fox
Baby News
Cox & Arquette
"Friends" start Courteney Cox, who has tried for years to become a mother, is expecting her first child with actor husband David Arquette, her publicist said on Tuesday.
Cox's spokeswoman said the 39-year-old actress was expecting a baby but gave no other details about the pregnancy which follows what Cox herself has referred to as "many miscarriages" over the years.
Cox & Arquette
A seagull finds a comfortable resting place on a swan in Gmunden, Austria, at lake Traunsee as both birds wait for passersby to throw them a few crumbs, on Monday, Jan. 5, 2004.
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Would Like Spears As a Girlfriend
Hugh Hefner
Now that Britney Spears is a single woman again, she already has at least one potential beau: Hugh Hefner.
The 77-year-old Playboy founder said he's interested in adding the pop singer to his bevy of beautiful blonde girlfriends.
"Picasso had his pink period and his blue period. I am in my blonde period right now," he said. "I think it's related to those early movies that had such a great influence on me when I was a kid."
Hugh Hefner
New Programming
A&E
Cable channel A&E will branch out beyond traditional documentaries with several new series to be unveiled Tuesday at the opening of the Television Critics Assn. press tour in Pasadena.
The network is developing a trio of series that will join its primetime schedule as early as late 2004: "Family Forensics," which dispatches "CSI"-type experts to average American homes in search of family secrets; "The First 48," which follows Philadelphia homicide detectives on their cases; and the tentatively titled "Dog the Bounty Hunter," which chronicles the lives of a real-life husband-wife team of bounty hunters who have 12 children.
The network also greenlighted five original films.
= Christopher Reeve is co-producing and considering directing "Brooke Ellison," the true story of a quadriplegic who graduates from Harvard University. It is based on the book "Miracles Happen: One Mother, One Daughter, One Journey."
= "Riverman," which is based on the story of the Green River serial killer.
= a biopic about the inventor of the Barbie doll, "Forever Barbie: The Ruth Handler Story."
= the tentatively titled "Chessmates," which chronicles the true story of inner-city kids who become chess champions.
= "The Last Days of Pompeii," based on the classic novel by Edward Bulwer Lytton about life just before the eruption of Mount Vesuvius in 79 A.D.
For even more, A&E
Talks About Songwriting
Jett Williams
Jett Williams wishes more songwriters these days penned tunes like her dad's. Hank Williams' songs still move people, she says, because he wrote them about real feelings. She's a singer-songwriter herself.
She says today's Nashville songwriters are trying to pump out hits rather than write songs that touch the heart. "You know they're writing the song to write the song, they're not writing the song because that's the way they feel," Williams told AP Radio.
She says she feels a strong kinship with her dad, even though he died five days before she was born. Williams says even though she never met him, a part of her believes their souls passed, "one leaving and one coming."
Jett Williams
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Files $20 Million Suit Against Ex-Partner
Hans Zimmer
Famed Hollywood composer Hans Zimmer sued his former longtime partner Jay Rifkin, accusing his collaborator on such award-winning soundtracks as "The Lion King" of secretly embezzling money from their business to support a lavish lifestyle.
The lawsuit, filed on Monday in Los Angeles Superior Court, counters a $10 million legal action filed by Rifkin last month against Zimmer, in which he accused the composer of plotting to take over their Santa Monica, California, music studio "in a textbook example of breach of fiduciary duty."
The pair head the Media Ventures Entertainment Group, a large work space that is home to about a dozen composers. Zimmer's lawsuit asks a judge to order the company into receivership and to force Rifkin to pay him $20 million in reparations plus punitive damages.
For the rest, Hans Zimmer
Big Pussy Radio?
Vincent Pastore
Vincent Pastore, who played Big Pussy on HBO's "The Sopranos" until his character went to sleep with the fishes, is resurfacing in Westchester — with a radio talk show.
Beginning Tuesday, Pastore will be the host of a weekly hourlong show on WVOX, 1460 on the AM dial, called "What's Goin' On?" the station said Monday.
It said Pastore lives in the Bronx and was visiting the station in New Rochelle to record a public service announcement when owner Bill O'Shaughnessy recruited him.
Vincent Pastore
The USS Midway is silhouetted against the lights of downtown San Diego as tugboats pull the ship to Navy Pier in San Diego Bay Monday, Jan. 5, 2004. The ship's arrival from the San Francisco Bay was delayed by bad weather and later engine problems in one of the tugboats. The carrier will become a floating naval museum in downtown San Diego.
Photo by Denis Poroy
Marriage Lasted Only 55 Hours
Britney Spears
When Britney Spears upped and wed hometown friend Jason Allen Alexander, it was on a whim. Then, she came to her senses and filed for an annulment. Total time as a married woman: 55 hours.
It took the judge about two hours Monday to act on the "complaint for annulment" filed at 10:12 a.m. in Clark County Family Court. Judge Lisa M. Brown signed the uncontested order, and her decree was filed at 12:24 p.m.
The marriage-to-annulment escapade might have been the shortest in the history of Sin City.
Britney Spears
Porn Law Blocks Too Much
Pennsylvania
A Washington nonprofit group was scheduled on Tuesday to argue against a Pennsylvania child-pornography law that has unintentionally cordoned off wide swaths of the Internet for users in and out of the state.
Among the 600,000 sites blocked are a community recreation center in Bradford County, Pennsylvania, a tribute to a Paraguayan soccer player, reviews of opera singer Alice Baker, and a vendor of "family edited" DVDs that have nudity and other content removed, the Center for Democracy and Technology said in a court filing.
CDT, the Pennsylvania chapter of the American Civil Liberties Union and Internet provider Plantagenet Inc. have sued to overturn the law, arguing that it amounts to an unconstitutional restraint on free speech.
The law allows district attorneys to require Internet providers to block access to a Web site they believe contains child pornography. State investigators have filed more than 500 requests since April 2002.
But the blocking orders have rendered inaccessible hundreds of thousands of other sites that share the same address, CDT said. Out-of-state users are affected as well because Internet providers such as Time Warner Inc.'s America Online have no easy way to only restrict access for customers in the state.
Pennsylvania
Cat Dinner
Norwegian Robin
A rare feathered visitor to Britain survived a gruelling 15-hour journey from Norway, only to be eaten by a birdwatcher's cat on arrival.
The cat's owner wrote to a bird charity to report the unusual sight of a Norwegian robin in her garden in Manchester -- but she had to confess it was dead in her cat's mouth at the time.
The unlucky bird was one of only 30 Scandinavian robins known to have made the 400-mile flight to Britain since 1919.
Norwegian Robin
Nielsen Ratings
Prime-Time
Prime-time viewership numbers compiled by Nielsen Media Research for Dec. 29-Jan. 4. Top 20 listings include the week's ranking, with viewership for the week and season-to-date rankings in parentheses. An "X" in parentheses denotes a one-time-only presentation.
1. (X) "AFC/NFC Showcase," ABC, 25.1 million viewers.
2. (X) NFL Playoff: Dallas at Carolina, ABC, 24.7 million viewers.
3. (X) Sugar Bowl: Oklahoma vs. LSU, ABC, 23.9 million viewers.
4. (X) "AFC Wildcard Postgame Show," CBS, 19.1 million viewers.
5. (X) "Rose Bowl Postgame Show," ABC, 17.9 million viewers.
6. (X) "Sugar Bowl Pregame Show," ABC, 17.4 million viewers.
7. (1) "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation," CBS, 16.2 million viewers.
8. (10) "60 Minutes," CBS, 15.8 million viewers.
9. (5) "Everybody Loves Raymond," CBS, 15.1 million viewers.
10. (6) "CSI: Miami," CBS, 15.1 million viewers.
11. (X) "CSI: Miami" (Sunday), CBS, 14.6 million viewers.
12. (X) Orange Bowl: Miami vs. Florida St., ABC, 14.2 million viewers.
13. (X) Fiesta Bowl: Kansas St. vs. Ohio St., ABC, 13.7 million viewers.
14. (14) "Law & Order: Criminal Intent," NBC, 13.2 million viewers.
15. (X) "Without a Trace," CBS, 13 million viewers.
16. (11) "Two and a Half Men," CBS, 12.9 million viewers.
17. (55) "Dateline NBC" (Sunday), NBC, 12.8 million viewers.
18. (X) "Cold Case," CBS, 12.6 million viewers.
19. (40) "Dateline NBC" (Friday), NBC, 12.3 million viewers.
20. (28) "The Simpsons," Fox, 12 million viewers.
Prime-Time
Cocaine
Bobby Hatfield
Righteous Brothers singer Bobby Hatfield's death in November was caused by cocaine and not just heart failure, according to the official autopsy report.
Dr. Richard Tooker, chief medical examiner for Kalamazoo County, told the Kalamazoo Gazette in Tuesday's editions that Hatfield's death was triggered by acute cocaine intoxication.
Tooker said a final cause of death was not determined until after toxicology reports were completed. The death certificate will be changed to reflect cocaine as the cause of death, he said.
Bobby Hatfield
In Memory
Francesco Scavullo
Fashion photographer Francesco Scavullo, who shot covers for Cosmopolitan magazine for more than 30 years, died Tuesday morning of heart failure, his companion said. He was 81.
Scuvullo was preparing for an assignment when he complained of feeling weak, and then collapsed, Sean Byrne said.
Known for works ranging from enamel-on-canvas photo silkscreens to portraits of celebrities such as Grace Kelly and Elizabeth Taylor, Scavullo was also recognized for his photographs of children. One of the most famous was his 1975 portrait of a young Brooke Shields.
Born Jan. 16, 1921, on Staten Island, Scavullo was one of five children whose father owned the old Central Park Casino. As a youth he got a job assisting the fashion photographer, Horst, and learned much of his craft from him.
He later worked for Vogue and Seventeen magazines before launching a lucrative and lengthy career that included photographing covers for Cosmopolitan, Harper's Bazaar and other magazines. At the peak of his career he commanded as much as $10,000 a sitting.
Francesco Scavullo
A butterfly searches for pollen from a flower at the Copenhagen Zoo Tuesday Jan. 6, 2004. Thousands of butterflies are hatched in the dead of winter to fill an enclosure which exhibits tropical wildlife.
Photo by John McConnico
'The Osbournes'
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