Bartcop Entertainment - Tuesday, 5 August, 2003
Tuesday
5 August, 2003
(Updated Daily)
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Issue #66
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
"Don't Read it in the John!"Issue #66
is brought to you by
vs. 
The Good Old Days
Why I'm Against Gay Marriage
Marriage has all kinds of legal advantages, such as rights of inheritance, rights to make hospital visits that are often restricted to "relatives," and dozens more. I see no reason to deny those rights to couples who just happen to be the same sex. I question the government's right to be involved in our personal relationships in the first place, but as long as they do, why can't gay couples be afforded the exact same protections under law that straight couples get? No reason whatsoever except for religious fanaticism and homophobia. Hell, I was once a bridesmaid at a gay wedding. No homophobe I.
Yet I'm still against gay marriage, and it's got nothing to do with God or the bible, it has to do with Noah Webster and the dictionary. My dictionary defines marriage as "The legal union of a man and woman as husband and wife." That's what the word means, and it remains what people consider marriage to be. What's the matter with having a word in the dictionary that translates as a legal sanctification of a heterosexual relationship created for the specific biological function of creating new young 'uns? Why on earth do gays need to change the dictionary to achieve equality? It's like they're asking for the word "heterosexual" to apply to them when they've already got a perfectly fine word, "homosexual," that DOES apply to them. Anyone who wants the word "heterosexual" to apply to gays too is fucking nuts. Same with "marriage." There's nothing sexist about the words "marriage," "heterosexual" or "homosexual." They're just words that happen to mean something. There's a reason why we must agree that words have specific definitions. If they didn't, communication would be meaningless and Frisbees would propagate in the hydrofoil.
I think gays should come up with their own form of legal relationship with its own rules. Not better. Not worse. Just different. Surely they have different needs. Call it "Marriage II: The Sequel." Call it "partnerships." Call it "couplehood." Just leave the word "marriage" alone. Fundamentalists will always consider gay marriages an affront to the concept of marriage, and so will wordsmiths like me who simply respect dictionaries. The war will rage forever. I don't think it's "anti-gay" to simply ask the gay community to leave the current definition of marriage alone and stake their claim elsewhere.
I mean we're talking about a government bureaucracy, right? You go up to a window and ask for a form, right? How big a stretch is it to imagine the following conversation:
"Could I have an application for a marriage license, please?"
"Certainly, sir, would that be the straight or gay form?"
"How about one of each and I'll decide later?"
If there were two forms of legal relationships, one gay, one straight, then the backwards bible-thumping homophobes could cling to the fact that the sanctity of heterosexual marriage has not been sullied by the gays, and the gays could have their own form of marriage with their own rules. Everyone gets what they want, and Mirriam-Webster doesn't have to rewrite the English language. And what does it take to put such a plan into action? Two pieces of paper. Wow. It's so difficult.
"Marriage is not what you do in bed. Marriage is what you do when you get out of bed."
- George Burns -
He's Married to a Kennedy, You Know
"Vote for me and I'll let you sniff my finger,"
declared possible California Gubernatorial
candidate Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Warmongers 'R' Us
"Massive air power is the key to being able both to destroy Yongbyon and to protect South Korea from attack by missile or artillery. There is a significant number of hardened air bases available in South Korea and the South Koreans have an excellent air force of approximately 550 modern tactical aircraft. The U.S. should begin planning immediately to deploy the Patriot tactical ballistic missile defense system plus Aegis ships to South Korea and Japan, and also to reinforce our tactical air forces by moving in several air wings and aircraft carrier battle groups, together with the all-important surveillance aircraft and drones."
Internet Joke of the Week
A young woman brings home her fiancée to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father invites the fiancée to his study for a drink. "So what are your plans?" asks the father.
"I'm studying to be a minister," replies the young man.
"Hmm," says the father, "admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in as she's accustomed to?"
"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."
"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring such as she deserves?" asks the father.
"I will concentrate on my studies," answers the young man, "and God will provide for us."
"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"
"Don't worry, sir," answers the fiancée again. "God will provide."
The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father asks a question, the young idealist insists that God will provide.
Later that evening, the mother asks her husband, "How did it go, honey?"
The father answers, "The bad news is he has no job and no plans. The good news is he thinks I'm God."
- Noah ben Shea -
Saddam Hussein Now Looks Like...
a
|
b
|
Vietnam Redux
Fake Headlines of the Week
NAACP still seeking meeting with Bush
"I'll meet with them when I'm ready to order," says President, holding a menu
Pentagon Cancels Plan to Put Foreign Leaders on Racehorses, Then Bet on Them
It was just too complicated, says source
BUSH: SADDAM HAD URANIUM ON AMAZON.COM WISH LIST
Sought Banned Weapons, Free Shipping
Gigli Focus Groups Demand New Ending In Which Both Affleck And Lopez Die
Google Smackdown of the Week
vs.
and the winner is...
A tie!
Calling All Palestinians
And the next time you're at one of those pesky Israeli checkpoints,
just drop your drawers and prove you're a Jew!
Rejected James Bond Titles
DR. NOPE
YOU ONLY LIVE THRICE
THUNDERBALLS
BUTTERFINGER
ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET JAMES BOND
CASINO ROYAL FLUSH
DIAMONDS ARE FOR A REALLY LONG TIME
THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN RULE
OCTOBREAST
FOR YOUR THIGHS ONLY
A VIEW TO A KILT
DIE ANOTHER BLEEDIN' DAY
THE HALLE BERRY BIKINI PROJECT
TOMORROW NEVER CEASES TO AMAZE ME
- The Rose Review -
I Feel So Much Safer Now
If the nation escalates to "red alert," which is the highest in the color-coded readiness against terror, you will be assumed by authorities to be the enemy if you so much as venture outside of your home.
-
Sid Caspersen: New Jersey's director of the office of counter-terrorism -
The Taliban have been running a campaign of attacks against Muslim clerics who support the Afghan government.
I Feel So Much Smarter Now
The Lawrence, Mass. superintendent of schools, who recently put two dozen teachers on unpaid leave for failing a basic English proficiency test, has himself flunked a required literacy test
three times.
Satan Doesn't Want You to Know
Adding cottage cheese to pancakes makes them tangy and delicious.
Calling the Usual Gang of Idiots
Poster of the Week
Quiz from Hell
Can you tell the difference between a computer programming language inventor and a serial killer? Think so, huh?
Prove it.
History Lesson from Hell
History Lesson from Heller
Meria Heller's current show is always available for free listening, while you've got to subscribe to have access to her archives. But for the two weeks, until August 18th,
all of 2003's archived shows are available for free. Hear interviews with Greg Palast, Mark Elsis, Catherine Fitts, Mark Crispin Miller, Rynn Berry, Thom Hartmann, Norman Livergood, Jerry Smith, Dave McGowan, David Jenkins, Mark Fiore, David Icke, Victor Thorn, Norman Solomon, Robert McChesney and many more.
Don't Take My Word For It
"The wages of sin are death. But the hours are good."
- Earthworm Jim -
"One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you."
- Larry Gelbart -
"The man who loves his country can never refuse to come forward when he finds that she is engaged in dangers which he has the means of warding off."
- Thomas Jefferson -
"If ye love wealth better than liberty, the tranquillity of servitude better than the animating contest of freedom, go home from us in peace. We ask not your counsel or your arms. Crouch down and lick the hands of those who feed you. May your chains set lightly upon you. May posterity forget that ye were our countrymen."
- Samuel Adams -
"If those doofuses had even just half a brain, they'd forget about trying to violently expel the Americans. Instead, they would concentrate on reconciliation with the Kurds and Shi'ites. After all, in time, we will leave. But we'll be taking neither the Kurds nor the Shi'ites with us. They shall both be left there as a combined overwhelming majority with boxcar loads of grievance, stemming from decades of torture and murder and outright humiliation. People in that part of the world are not noted for having a forgiving nature. Moreover, the oil is located where the Kurds and Shi'ites live."
"Marines in Fox Company, drawn mainly from Utah and Nevada, learned they would not have armored vehicles equipped with powerful weapons. Instead, they would ride into combat in soft-sided trucks with few heavy arms... In the days of fighting their way to Baghdad, Davis' and Lee's battalion, honored by the Reserve Officers' Association as the nation's finest Reserve infantry unit, found they were short on ammunition, hand grenades, signal devices, chemical weapon detectors and heavy guns."
"So, 200 troops from the 101st Airborne, one of the best armed and trained military divisions on the planet, supported by missile-firing helicopters, managed to take out four people, one a 14 year old teenager, protected by the walls of an adobe house, in a mere six hours. Nice...
"We are a disgrace because we pick on small defenseless nations. We are a disgrace because we pick on small defenseless people economically. We are a disgrace because we murder willfully under the guise of liberation. We are a disgrace because we allowed this to happen by being too complacent and not voting. We took Al Gore and Bill Clinton's economic miracle and diplomatic genius for granted. We have only ourselves to blame."
"Dubya is the dumbest rock in a bag full of first-round picks at the professional dumb rock draft."
"The real rulers in Washington are invisible and exercise their power from behind the scenes."
- Justice Felix Frankfurter: U.S. Supreme Court -
"The report of the joint congressional inquiry into the suicide hijackings on Sept. 11, 2001... reveals U.S. intelligence had no evidence that the Iraqi regime of Saddam Hussein was involved in the attacks, or that it had supported al-Qaida."
"Sharon is keeping secret all the executive plans for the dividing wall, even from some of his Cabinet ministers. Instead he presents the drawings for each section as needed, for fear that details of the walls intrusion into Palestinian land would be leaked which would make the EU rise against him and rouse Washington's ire. Sharon's realization of the danger of his action and what could result from it has made him demand the wall be built quickly, despite the initial understanding that it would be built slowly owing to the huge expense of construction, some 1.2 billion euro."
"Liberty means responsibility. That is why most men dread it."
- George Bernard Shaw -
"The world expects something more of an American president than to prance around on a flight deck dressed up like [a] pilot. He's expected to be a leader. That's my fundamental issue with it. It doesn't reflect the gravitas of the office. Furthermore, it's a little phony."
- General Wesley Clark -
"Jessica Lynch... America's first soldier to be awarded a bronze star for getting injured in a motor vehicle accident."
"I recently had a talk with an editor of mine when I had to make a tough call about whether or not to include a particular piece of information in an article. Journalism has all sorts of established rules for when you really have a story nailed and when you don't -- this or that number of sources, statements on the record or off the record, and so forth. But a lot of the toughest calls just come down to judgment, your gut feeling. During that conversation I told him how I usually make these decisions.
"When I find myself in these situations the reasoning I use with myself goes something like this: 'Let's say I run with this story. And let's say it goes bad. And then I have to explain my reasoning to my editor. How is that conversation going to go? Am I going to have a good story to tell? Or am I going to have a why-was-I-such-a-friggin-idiot story to tell?'
"It's a very clarifying mental exercise."
"I want to remind you, he actually used his weapons program on his own people at one point in time, which was pretty tangible evidence."
"Hey idiot. That's evidence that Iraq had weapons. EVERY COUNTRY ON EARTH HAS WEAPONS! The question is did he have weapons capable of reaching the US. Doesn't look like it. Did he kill his own citizens? SO HAVE YOU! Did he giggle and make jokes about it like you did?"
- Xarvon, alien investigator -
"Brilliance is typically the act of an individual, but incredible stupidity can usually be traced to an organization."
- Jon Bentley -
"This is no more about Marijuana than the Boston Tea Party was about Tea."
"I think its just irresponsible and indefensible."
-
Sen. Mark Dayton on the White House decision to release a report tracing American intelligence operations up to 9/11 with 28-pages blackened -
"The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery."
- Winston Churchill -
"We are not a cult, we are members of a majority. Let's act and talk like it. The job is ours and the job must be done. If not by us, who? If not now, when?"
- Ronald Reagan -
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences."
- P.J. O'Rourke -
"Just because you do not take an interest in politics doesn't mean politics won't take an interest in you."
- Pericles (430 B.C.) -
"I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts."
- Will Rogers -
"I have a new philosophy. I'm only going to dread one day at a time."
- Charles Schulz -
Mr. Conspiracy Says...
Don't go to any rallies, don't sign any petitions, don't join the Green Party, and for God sake don't pledge your support for Dean or Kucinich. The next election is already sewn up. Ashcroft will be watching you for the next five years, and he's into vengeance. Our government thinks nothing of removing pages from official reports that it doesn't like, it will think nothing of removing YOU. Besides,
chemtrails are going to kill us all anyway.
The War Against Plants
In spite of the recent discoveries of cocaine hydrochloride laboratories in National Parks and other eastern Bolivian regions near the Brazilian border, the Bolivian government - guided by Washington - is turning a blind eye to the real narco-traffickers and instead sending 1,500 troops into the Chapare region - coincidentally, the home of the "political opposition" - to attempt to eradicate the traditional growth and use of the coca leaf.
Everything Else
Karen Kwiatkowski, a recently retired Air Force Lieutenant colonel, worked from May 2002 through February 2003 in the office of the Under Secretary of Defense for Policy, Near East South Asia and Special Plans (USDP/NESA and SP) in the Pentagon. She observed the environment in which decisions about post-war Iraq were made. She was appalled. Don't miss
Career officer does eye-opening stint inside Pentagon.
BRING THEM HOME NOW! is a coordinating committee of military families, veterans, active duty personnel, reservists and others opposed to the ongoing war in Iraq and galvanized to action by George W. Bush's inane and reckless challenge to armed Iraqis resisting occupation to "Bring 'em on."
More proof that Dr. David Kelley, who blew the whistle on Blair, was
murdered.
If put on public trial, Saddam Hussein would have a field day revealing the embarrassing alliance between his brutal regime and Washington, including: The CIA's role in bringing the Ba'ath Party to power in a 1958 coup, opening the way for Saddam to take control, U.S., Israeli, and Iranian destabilization of Iraq during the 1970s by fueling Kurdish rebellion, Washington's egging on the aggressive shah of Iran in the Shatt al-Arab waterway dispute, a primary cause of the Iran-Iraq War, the U.S. secretly urging Iraq to invade Iran in 1980 to overthrow that nation's revolutionary Islamic government, the covert supply of Saddam's war machine by the U.S. and Britain during the eight-year Iran-Iraq conflict, plus the murky role played by Washington just before Iraq's 1991 invasion of Kuwait when the U.S. ambassador told Saddam "The U.S. takes no position in Arab border disputes." Was this a trap to lure Saddam to invade Kuwait, then crush his army, or simple diplomatic bungling? Saddam could supply the awkward answers, which is why
the U.S. wants Saddam, but dead - not alive.
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's fair use.
Thanks,
Satan
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'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
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Reader Question
Re: Betty Bowers
What happened to Betty - God's favorite christian?
Great question, thanks, Tim H!
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Reader Cool Link
Polar Bear Forge
Hi Marty -
My neighbor is a bladesmith - he forges custom knives, swords, does chainmail, etc.
Thanks, Tiera H!
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Reader Comment
Drunken Frat Boy
Hi Marty,
As a libertarian with moderate-to-left fiscal views, I believe
the political compass is much more
complicated than simply left/right. The CATO Institute is
conservative. Dubya is, well ...
-Mark
Thanks, Mark!
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Reader Comment & Suggestion
Re: Another Bushflash Animation
Eric Blumrich does it again. Another insightful animation exploring which
Democratic candidates are both electable and worthy of election.
I note that Eric does not mention Kerry being an initiate into Yale's
Skull & Bones Society with its Satanic rituals (as were Bush 43, Bush 41
and
Bush 43's grandpappy who ran a significant chunk of the Nazi war machine
even after the US entered WW II) although perhaps the final segment alludes
to a common bond between Bush and Kerry.
As a Brit, whose nerves are scraped raw by many advertising and political
techniques commonplace in the US, I would have to place my vote (were I
to have one) firmly behind Dean simply because Kucinich SHOUTS TOO MUCH ALL
THE TIME AND WHEN EVERYTHING YOU SAY IS EMPHASISED THEN EVERYTHING YOU SAY
SINKS TO THE BANAL AND IS IRRITATING TO BOOT (plus he looks like a muppet).
Brian dF
Thanks, Brian!
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
The humidity is still within reason & it's cooling off nicely at night.
The city showed up & tore out more sidewalk today. There seems to be no discernable pattern in their scheduling.
Running late & long.
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS opens the night with a FRESH 'Big Brother 4', followed by a FRESH
'Cupid', then a RERUN 'Judging Amy'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Colin Farrell and Robert Randolph.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Eddie Kaye Thomas, Marlee Matlin, and Jack Johnson.
NBC starts the evening with the Series Finale of 'Last Comic Standing', followed by a RERUN 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are Jamie Lee Curtis, Carl Reiner, and Widespread Panic.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Seann William Scott and the Jayhawks.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Denis Leary and Palo Alto.
ABC begins the evening with a RERUN '8 Simple Rules', followed by a RERUN 'Bonnie', then a RERUN 'Jim',
followed by a RERUN 'Less Than Perfect', then a RERUN 'NYPD Blue'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Damon Dash and Revis, with this week's guest co-host Macy Gray.
The WB offers a 2-hour RERUN 'Gilmore Girls'.
Faux has a FRESH 'American Juniors', followed by the Series Premiere of 'The O.C.'.
UPN has a RERUN 'One On One', followed by a RERUN 'Abby', then a RERUN 'Buffy'.
A&E has 'Biography' (Richard Speck), 'Cold Case Files', and 'MI-5'.
AMC offers the movie 'To Catch A Thief', followed by the movie 'Foul Play', then the movie 'The Slums Of Beverly Hills'.
BBC -
[7pm] 'Ground Force' - Portmellon;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Maidstone;
[8pm] 'Changing Rooms' - 100th Programme;
[8:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Urmston;
[9pm] 'Ground Force America' - Sarasota;
[10pm] 'Ground Force America' - Atlanta;
[11pm] 'So Graham Norton' - Si Graham Norton;
[12am] 'Ground Force America' - Sarasota;
[1am] 'Ground Force America' - Atlanta;
[2am] 'Changing Rooms' - 100th Programme;
[2:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - Urmston; and
[3am] 'So Graham Norton' - Si Graham Norton. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'Queer Eye', followed by 'Boy Meets Boys', then another 'Queer Eye', followed by another 'Boy Meets Boy'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is John Popper.
History offers 'Modern Marvels', 'Deep Sea Detectives', 'Nature Tech', and 'Terror Tech'.
SciFi has 'Ghost Stories VI', 'Ghost Stories II', 'Real Ghosts', and more 'Real Ghosts'.
TCM pays a 24-hour tribute to Fred Astaire -
[6am] 'Flying Down To Rio' (1933);
[7:30am] 'Swing Time' (1936);
[9:15am] 'Follow The Fleet' (1936);
[11:15am] 'Shall We Dance' (1937);
[1:15pm] 'The Story Of Vernon And Irene Castle' (1939);
[3pm] 'Three Little Words' (1950);
[5pm] 'Broadway Melody Of 1940' (1940);
[6:45pm] 'The Fred Astaire Songbook' (1991);
[8pm] 'Holiday Inn' (1942);
[10pm] 'Yolanda And The Thief' (1945);
[12am] 'Roberta' (1935);
[2am] 'Royal Wedding' (1951); and
[4am] 'You Were Never Lovelier' (1942). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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United States Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton (D-NY) appears as a guest on 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno' at the NBC studios in Burbank, California August 4, 2003 with host Jay Leno. Clinton discussed her new book and the upcoming recall election to elect a new governor in California.
Photo by Fred Prouser
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The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
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Fake Backlash Dying Down
Dixie Chicks
The backlash the Dixie Chicks received earlier this year for comments about resident Bush seemed like ancient history during a weekend concert.
The Alltel Arena packed in its biggest audience ever — 17,065 people — for a concert Saturday night by the Texas trio, arena marketing director Betty Baxter said.
Many country stations, including some in Arkansas, blacklisted the band's music and chastised Maines for criticizing the President while on foreign soil.
Dixie Chicks
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Memorial for Srebrenica Victims
Bill Clinton
Former U.S. President Bill Clinton has agreed to open a cemetery and memorial for thousands of Muslims killed in the 1995 Srebrenica massacre, Bosnia's top peace overseer Paddy Ashdown said on Monday.
The families of up to 8,000 men and boys killed by Bosnian Serb forces in the former eastern enclave expressed a wish that Clinton open the memorial due to his personal efforts to end the 1992-1995 war. The ceremony will take place on September 20.
The Clinton administration helped broker the 1995 Dayton peace treaty ending the Bosnian war.
Bill Clinton
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Makes a Triumphant Return Home
Dame Edna
For a once-shy housewife from a suburb of Melbourne called Moonee Ponds, there's no doubt that Dame Edna Everage has come a long way.
So when the self-confessed megastar recently stepped out with her habitual "Hello, possums!" salutation in front of her hometown crowd nearly half a century after her first appearance onstage, it was hardly surprising that the 2,000-seat State Theater was packed to the rafters.
Though Edna's creator and alter ego, Barry Humphries, may not be a household name internationally, he has, in recent weeks, received a great deal of attention on his native turf. Australians have grown accustomed to the fact that their actors now strut their stuff on the world stage. But with Humphries, the appreciation is much more than mere gratitude for shining the spotlight on the country's talent pool.
For more, Dame Edna
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Tom Poston, left, Tim Conway, center left, and Bob Newhart, center right, congratulate jockey Victor Espinoza after Espinoza guided Taste of Paradise to victory in the Grade II $250,000 San Diego Handicap Sunday, Aug. 3, 2003, at the Del Mar Thoroughbred Club in Del Mar, Calif.
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Suits Up for NFL Kickoff Show
Aretha Franklin
R&B/soul legend Aretha Franklin has been added to the lineup for the Sept. 4 event at the National Mall park in Washington, D.C., kicking off the 2003 National Football League season.
Britney Spears and Mary J. Blige will be on hand for the show, which will precede the first NFL game of the year later that evening between the Washington Redskins and New York Jets at D.C.'s FedEx Field.
"NFL Kickoff Live From the National Mall" will feature performances from Blige, Spears and others to be announced. Additional football- and music-related activities will be spread around the Mall. Franklin will conclude the event with a rendition of the national anthem. ABC will broadcast the event live from 8-9 p.m. ET, followed by the Redskins/Jets game.
Aretha Franklin
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NBC Stunt
Mini-Movies
The good news for Michael Richards, Carmen Electra and Tom Arnold is that they'll be involved in new NBC productions going on the air this fall.
The bad news is the productions will last only a minute, and they will be shown at a time many viewers are trying to fit in bathroom breaks.
NBC said it will make a series of 1-minute movies, designed to be shown during the breaks between programs. They'll work as cliffhangers, with 30 seconds shown during one hour and the final 30 seconds an hour later.
They're part of a general effort by broadcasters to keep viewers from changing stations. In the past, networks have compressed end credits so they fly by, or eliminated commercial breaks between shows.
Mini-Movies
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Clinton-Dole 'Debate' Segments
'60 Minutes'
When "60 Minutes" returns with new episodes this fall, those debates between former President Clinton and Bob Dole will either be back in radically different form or not at all.
"60 Minutes" executive producer Don Hewitt said Monday he's kicking around different ideas and hopes to decide very soon.
Their original agreement with CBS didn't stretch beyond 10 segments.
'60 Minutes'
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Wants Suit Dismissed
Eminem
Eminem wants a Macomb County judge to dismiss a $1 million lawsuit that a former schoolmate filed against him.
DeAngelo Bailey of Roseville sued Eminem in 2001. He claimed the 30-year-old rapper's song "Brain Damage," which named Bailey as a bully, damaged his reputation and his own ability to launch a music career.
Eminem's lawyer, Peter Peacock, filed a motion for dismissal last week, claiming Bailey is trying to cash in on his client's fame. Peacock also said the song is true because Bailey beat up Eminem when they were in the fourth and sixth grades at Roseville's Dort Elementary School.
Eminem
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In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
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Photos Remain Sealed - For Now
Cameron Diaz
A judge covered US movie star Cameron Diaz's modesty by ordering that topless pictures of the actress that she is trying to suppress remain sealed, at least until the case is settled.
The star of "Charlie's Angels" and "Something About Mary" sued to stop a photographer from releasing the pictures taken of her at 21, before she earned international renown.
Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Alan Haber ruled that the pictures taken of Diaz would be protected by the court until the suit is settled because she had a right to privacy of her own body.
He also kept out of the public record a videotape, the contents of which neither side would discuss outside the courtroom.
Cameron Diaz
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A Faberge Easter egg made by Theo Faberge, the 80-year-old grandson of the official jeweler of the Russian court Carl Faberge, is displayed in the grandiose Peterhof palace in the St. Petersburg's suburbs, Monday, Aug. 4, 2003. The US$35,000 egg, which was presented to the residents of St. Petersburg in commemoration of the city's 300th anniversary, traditionally contains a secret inside, a miniature figure of famous Bronze Horseman - a monument to the city's founder, Czar Peter the Great.
Photo by Dmitry Lovetsky
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Getting Makeover from 'Queer Eye' Guys
Jay Leno
Is a "Queer Eye" plus Jay Leno's big chin the right look for good ratings? The NBC television network thinks so.
With new reality series "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" having become a breakout summer hit for the Bravo cable TV channel, Bravo parent NBC said on Monday it will bring the show's "Fab Five" make-over artists onto "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno" for a pair of special appearances next week.
The "Queer Eye" quintet will make their "Tonight Show" debut as guests on Aug. 14, then return the following night to give Leno and his program a special make-over.
Jay Leno
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Headlining Livid Festival
Linkin Park
Linkin Park will be headlining the upcoming Livid Festival in Australia. The band will be joining the bill that already includes the White Stripes, Jurassic 5, Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, the Roots and Yeah Yeah Yeahs and the Living End.
The Livid Festival will make three stops--October 11 in Sydney, October 12 in Melbourne and October 18 in Brisbane. Linkin Park is currently on Metallica's Summer Sanitarium tour, which stops in Seattle, Washington on Thursday (August 7). They're touring in support of their album Meteora, which includes the track "Faint" which peaked at Number One on Billboard's Modern Rock tracks.
Linkin Park
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Formerly 'The Vidiot'
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Wins Raves For Broadway Debut
Melanie Griffith
"Working Girl" Melanie Griffith has captured strong reviews for her Broadway debut in the long-running musical "Chicago", despite the blonde film actress's apparent inability to sing or dance.
Griffith's lead performance as the boyfriend-slaying Roxie Hart "has to qualify as one of the most bizarrely successful debuts in Broadway history," the New York Times said on Monday.
The newspaper noted that Griffith, who has never performed in front of a live audience before, had only "minimal command" of the skills traditionally associated with musicals, thanks to her "baby-doll voice" and a pair of left feet.
"Yet Ms Griffith is a sensational Roxie, possibly the most convincing I have seen," the Times' reviewer said, noting her "powerful and instinctive empathy" for the part.
For more, Melanie Griffith
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Ultralights flying in formation fly into the setting sun over Kirchheimbolanden in Germany.
Photo by Alexander Heimann
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CBS Taking Another Stab
'Helter Skelter'
CBS has greenlit "Helter Skelter," a three-hour TV movie based on former prosecutor Vincent Bugliosi's book about the capture and trial of Charles Manson and three of his "family" members -- women he had persuaded to do the killings for him.
John Gray, who most recently penned and directed the CBS original movie "Martin & Lewis," wrote the script for "Helter Skelter" and is set to direct.
The film will be the second screen adaptation of the book by the man who convicted Manson in the bloody 1969 Tate-LaBianca murders in Los Angeles, following the 1976 CBS movie starring Steve Railsback as Manson.
'Helter Skelter'
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Fan Gets Stitches
John Yates
John Yates has two gifts from Tiger Woods: a golf glove autographed by the golfing giant and three stitches courtesy of an errant shot.
Woods' approach at No. 7 during the final round of the Buick Open on Sunday sailed to the right and bounced off Yates' head, cutting him, before landing in the greenside bunker.
The spectator was on his back, his head bleeding, when Woods came over to apologize. "I'm so sorry," Woods said, leaning down to shake Yates' hand. "Hang in there."
Woods, who wound up making birdie, returned to give Yates the glove and a ball.
John Yates
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Opening D.C. Consultancy
Ari Fleischer
Following in the footsteps of several of his predecessors, former Bush administration chief spokesman Ari Fleischer will open Ari Fleischer Communications this September in Washington.
The independent firm will "provide CEOs and others with advice on how to handle the press," said Fleischer, 42, who declined to name any clients. "I'm looking forward to building a business. I've been in government for a virtual lifetime, but I've always had an entrepreneurial side."
Before joining Bush's run for the presidency in 1999, Fleischer, who left the White House last month, was communications director for Elizabeth Dole when she was a Republican presidential candidate. His interest in politics began early, when Fleischer, a native of Westchester, N.Y., was a political science major at Middlebury College in Vermont.
Ari Fleischer
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Cool Invention
Sign Language Glove
An electronic glove that can turn American Sign Language gestures into spoken words or text, designed to help the deaf communicate more easily with the hearing world, is under development.
Researcher Jose Hernandez-Rebollar of George Washington University has demonstrated that his "AcceleGlove" can translate the rapid hand movements used to make the alphabet and some of the words and phrases of sign language.
The AcceleGlove is a wearable computer with super-small electronic circuitry. Sensors in the glove work with a micro-controller attached to the wearer's arm, mapping the placement and movement of the arm and fingers. That information is turned into data a computer can read and convert to words heard from a loudspeaker or read on a computer screen.
For a lot more, Sign Language Glove
Jose Hernandez-Rebollar
Video of glove
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Can Use Cable Cash in Court
Rigas Family
Four members of the Rigas family can use cash made by cable television companies they control to defend themselves against allegations they built a personal fortune by looting Adelphia Communications Corp., a bankruptcy judge ruled Friday.
Judge Robert E. Gerber, of the U.S. Bankruptcy Court in Manhattan, ruled that John Rigas, Michael Rigas, Timothy Rigas and James Rigas could have access to the $15 million generated by cable companies other than Adelphia.
Adelphia, based in Greenwood Village, Colo., argued the Rigas-managed cable companies lose money, leaving Adelphia to pick up the tab. Also, Adelphia lawyers said the Rigases continue to hold substantial assets worth well over $15 million.
Rigas Family
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A little tiger takes a bath in a big basin in Xiangjiang Wildlife World in Guangzhou, capital of south China's Guangdong Province Monday, Aug. 4, 2003. Animals here live comfortably under the care of the feeders despite of the constant hot weather in recent days.
Photo by Liu Dawei
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'Ark of Darkness'
"The Ark of Darkness", a Political/Science-Fiction work, in tidy, weekly installments (and updated every Friday).
The Group finally comes face-to-face with Satan, himself.
Chapter 16 - Throne Room
~
This Friday
Chapter 17 - Teleport
Let me know what you think!
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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