Good Thing/Bad Thing
"Nick Berg beheading video" is the most popular search term on the net this week. Network news has driven millions of people to the Internet for news. This is a good thing.
"Nick Berg beheading video" is a "video" of the "beheading" of "Nick Berg." It is a snuff film. This is a bad thing.
Just as all journalists dreaded having to explain Clinton's zipper problem to a family audience when the only thing to quote was a report that was 100% about sex, so all journalists today have got to face a video that they've reported but not shown out of respect for our delicate sensibilities. As the proud recipient of their reportage, I am supposed to presume that the reporter himself knows what he's talking about and has actually seen the evidence in question but, EEEEW, nobody wants to look at a graphic video of an American beheading, and if they do, they're not going to study it and run it over and over, because if they do they'll start to notice things, things that aren't quite right, like the chair is the same chair in the photos of Iraqi pyramids in prison, that the executioners are white, things that make the official explanation of the source of the tape look like ridiculous lies, things you would only notice if you actually watched the fucking tape.
After slamming Private Jessica down our throats as a manufactured piece of reality TV masquerading as news, you'd have thought the government would have had enough of humiliation, but no, according to many viewers they went and manufactured another piece of anti-terrorist propaganda that's so shoddily produced it would make Ed Wood proud.
I used to be a film martyr, subjecting myself to endless screenings of loathsome crap just to protect the public from plunking down their bucks just to be miserable. Lately, I've been a news martyr, subjecting myself to endless e-mails of loathsome crap just to protect the public from believing what they're told.
But this goes too far. If they had somehow supplied videotapes of Clinton's actual indiscretions, I wouldn't have watched, and I'm not watching this. I know how I obsess on things. I haven't been able to get "Kyle's Mom's a Bitch" out of my head for the past week. The last thing I need is a graphic image of a decapitation floating around my brain. It'll never leave. It'll always be there for me to think about and I don't need it. My internal storage device has already fulfilled its quota of graphic images of man's inhumanity to man. Who could forget...
Sorry, I've got other images to dwell on, and so my devotion to my sanity supercedes my devotion to journalism. I won't watch the Berg beheading. You can't make me. I don't feel like barfing today.
1998: "Clinton Brought Down by Head"
2004: "Bush Brought Down by Head"
These people have stronger stomachs than I.
Marc Perkel in particular has assembled an amazing page full of pix and an animated discussion of what happened. He is your film martyr of the week. I remain a mere messenger at the mercy of my faith in his honest descriptions of what he saw. Here's the Disinfotainment Today condensed version of stuff I was sent. You think you were confused before...
From Michael Thomas:
"Hey, I've done the research. The guys executing the poor dude are not Arab!! When executing, they don't cover their faces or anything else on their body. They expose everything when beheading someone. I don't know who the guys are, but they're not Arab."
Was it even actually Nicholas Berg? Can a big man lose that much weight in just two weeks? Maybe his prison guards should open a health spa or write a book. "The South Baghdad Diet." We don't even know if the body belonged to Nicholas Berg.
What was the motive?" Assuming it was Berg, why was he killed? Was it in order to take our minds off of Abu Ghraib? Mission accomplished. Further, Berg's father was on a
right-wing hit list. The Bushies obviously didn't like him.
Who had the opportunity? Who had custody of Berg? The FBI? That's discouraging. Sidebar: What was the FEDERAL Bureau of Investigation doing in Iraq? Aren't they supposed to be here at home chasing bad guys?
What question would Hercule Peroit ask? "What shape was the body in when they found it?" This is an interesting question. "Was it decomposed?" After three weeks, it should have been. If it wasn't, then the culprits probably used that old murder mystery trick of storing the body in the freezer. Who, in Iraq, had a freezer? It wasn't the terrorists! Half the time, they don't even have electricity in Baghdad.
If the body was discovered the day of the beheading (what WAS the day of the beheading? I'm all confused), how was it found so soon? What with all the other bodies stacked like cordwood in Iraq, how did they even know it was Berg?
Where was the blood? Have you watched the video? They hold up the head. No blood comes out. That's weird. That's really weird.
If the rebels did it, why would they even release such a film?" Surely they knew it would hurt their cause.
More clues. What was that plastic chair doing in the picture? That was an American chair. I have one just like it in my back yard. Does that mean I am a suspect? And who were all those fat guys standing around -- especially if one of those fat guys was what-his-name, the terrorist with his leg blown off. He could stand around that long? The fat guys all looked like those pictures of the "contractors" who guard Paul Bremer. I have one word for them. "Weightwatchers." If you're gonna star in a terrorist flick, you gotta look the part. And check out the flack jacket pictures at
http://marc.perkel.com/archives/000233.html (courtesy of Detective Maggie at "I Want My Country Back")
And what about those terrible yellow Abu-Ghraib-colored walls in the background? Lula would have been revolted! "Damn skippy I would." Guys, get yourself a decorator.
In which Middle Eastern country do they behead people? Not in Iraq. That is a technique most favored by George Bush's pals in Arabia -- the same country that gave us the people who allegedly highjacked the 9-11 planes (and left their passports for evidence too -- but that's another mystery, another book).
From Marc Perkel:
The masked man in the beheading video claims to be the infamous terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi. Initially CNN said that the voice doesn't match him. They said he didn't even have a Jordanian accent. However the CIA confirms that it is him. But - are they correct?
While everyone is listening to the voice they are ignoring a bigger clue - the legs. Two years ago Abu Musab al-Zarqawi had one of his legs amputated. Since then he's never adapted to a prosthetic leg. The terrorist who did the killing had two legs and as rather nimble on them. The terrorist has the wrong number of legs. So - in the debate about the identity of the killer - I'd say the CIA doesn't have a leg to stand on.
From anonymous e-mail
1. Both Drudge and Aljazeera report that "A body found on Monday by US military patrol along a roadside over the weekend was identified as Berg's."
Note the confused reporting in this direct quote, "on Monday", "over the weekend", by US military patrol. Was it found on Monday or over the weekend--which one? Does this make sense to anyone? Or was someone scrambling a press release (in panic) of wording that was hastily contrived, and uncertain themselves about how the facts would compare to the report?
Secondly, how was the body identified as "Berg's" if it was headless? Or was it? How do you quickly identify a body without a head?
Third, WHO were the U.S. forces that found it? Were they the same ones involved in his illegal detention?
2. If the body was found on Monday (May 10th), or previously "over the weekend" (prior), how could the execution and video be taped on May 11th, as is reported? "The statement in the video was signed off with Zarqawi's name and dated 11 May" (Drudge and Aljazeerah). An Arab magic trick indeed...to be able to execute a man on video tape ("May 11"), AFTER HIS BODY IS FOUND BY US FORCES, on "May 10th"!!!!!
3. The video was dated May 11th, typical Judeo-Masonic (CIA/MOSSAD) signature and M.O., like 9/11, and the recent 3/11 in Spain. Sorry, there is an M.O. to this "terrorism" that matches that of government psy-ops! Funny how they never mention the obvious pattern of dating isn't it? And the "terroists" signed his name to the video, though they wore
hoods and masks! (Why?)
4. Berg's father filed law suit against the illegal detention of their son....and, bingo, he was released the next day (but not very popular we can be certain)! "His father, Nick, filed a lawsuit on 5 April stating Berg was being held illegally by the US military in Iraq. The next day Berg was released." (Aljazeera and Drudge, the new partners from hell)
5. The Guatanamo Bay type US issue prison suit is very suspicious! Either he was handed over to the alleged "terrorists" in it--meaning US forces complicity to rid them of an American "dissident"--or the executions are Government--i.e. CIA (well-fed, lily white hands, hooded...but leaving the name of the executioner?)!
6. According to the video clock notations in the film, the "execution" took place between 13:46 and 13:47....apparently around 1:46 to 1:47 pm. Why is the video time not in Arabic? Do Arabs use military time?
Drudge
7. "God is great".....typical propaganda to libel militant Muslim jihaders with the crime, while they have lily white hands, their victim in US issue prison clothes, and video time in US military English!
8. The TIMING of this event being reported to the American public, on May 11th evening (note how quickly this went to full-blown news coverage by 6:30pm EDT on the very day of the execution...... fast...... and conveniently. Even MORE remarkable is how this was reported to Congress (not sure when) during WORK HOURS IN SESSION, precisely as the Pentagon, Rumsfeld, etc., were being grilled, and Senators were investigation the horrific prisoner abuse, and who was behind it! TALK ABOUT WELL-COORDINATED AND EXPEDITED 1) EXECUTION 2) BODY FOUND, IDENTIFIED, 3)NOTIFICATION OF KIN, 4) REPORTED TO CONGRESS...5) RELEASE IN FULL DETAIL WITH VIDEO TO NETWORK NEWS..........ALL IN ONE AMAZING DAY!!!!! Is that a credible timetable WITHOUT government involvement? The 9/11 "hijackers" were not even identified for a couple days....but this one is instantly solved, and we are expected to swallow it whole without
choking!
Speaking to the media in Saudi Arabia, Ambassador to the United States Prince Bandar bin Sultan condemned the decapitation of American Nicholas Berg in Iraq as "criminal and inhuman” and called the abuse of Iraqi prisoners by some U.S. military personnel "despicable and criminal."
From Doctor Raul Castro Guevara:
There is no way that the individual in the video was alive and his heart pumping while his neck was being cut. In these cases, while the heart is pumping, cutting a person artery in the neck, would cause copious amounts of blood to spurt all over the immediate environment. In my opinion the video is a fraud.
From a reporter on the NBC Nightly News with Tom Brokaw, May 12th:
"...the CIA did it to take the heat off the Pentagon."
Gay Marriage Legalized in Iraq
Hmmms of the Week
Pick a liquid, any liquid, and check it out in this eye-opening graph of The Price of a Gallon. Did you know you're paying $2,701.52 a gallon for the ink in your printer? Makes gasoline look cheap. Jeez, it's basically just coloring added to isopropyl alcohol, an oil-based product. Hmmm. Bill Gates in league with your government. Hmmm.
Gardening Trumps 1st Amendment
Plug of the Week
In gratitude towards the television media for sending so many people to their competitor, the Internet, the Internet hereby attempts to send Internet readers to the television media by mentioning the most relevent thing on TV right now, Strip Search on HBO, which was finished before the whole Iraqi prison disaster.
Brilliantly written by Tom Fontana of Oz and directed by Sidney Lumet, Strip Search starts with an anonymous white woman in an anonymous oriental country who is grabbed from her life by government henchmen and brought in for questioning. The questioning goes on for ten mysterious minutes as the interrigator refuses to get to the point, then it cuts to an anonymous Arab man in what is certainly America who has been pulled from his life by henchment and brought in for questioning by . It's the diametric opposite of the preceding scene, a white woman with total power over an ethnic man vs. an ethnic man with total power over a white woman, except for one thing. The dialogue in both scenes, the words coming out of their mouths, is verbatim. Same script, different location, different actors. Once you're in on the gimmick, we watch in awe as the editing gets masterful, sometimes repeating scenes, sometimes cutting back and forth within a scene, all creating a delerious sense of expectation. The strip search itself is horrifying under both circumstances, with exactly the sort of graphic detail you'd expect from the producer of Oz. It asks WAY more questions than it gives answers, making it one of the most thought provoking pieces I've ever seen.
Walk away from your computer. It's on your television. If you don't get HBO, steal it. If you don't know someone with HBO, get over to their house and demand they get it so you can watch Strip Search on their dime.
"I'm what you might call old school. To stop crime, you threaten criminals with physical punishment, imprisonment, death. But these suicide bombers and such, they've already chosen to die, they're not afraid of prosecution, so we have to stop them before they act, we have to keep them alive. That's their punishment. Make the bastards wish they were dead. Humiliate them. Make them aware that if they die in here, alone, that their deaths will have no meaning, no resonance, no effect on anyone whatsoever."
Training U.S. Forces Guarding Iraqi Prisoners Did Not Receive
1. Do not beat the prisoners.
2. Do not strip the prisoners and force them to lie on top of each other in a pile.
3. Do not put leashes around their necks, or force male prisoners to wear women's underwear on their heads, even if it seems like it would be a fun thing to do.
4. Do not force prisoners to perform sex acts of any kind on each other.
5. Do not set dogs on the prisoners.
6. Do not rape the prisoners.
7. Do not kill the prisoners.
(According to Pentagon officials our forces are now receiving this important training.)
Award Winners of the Week
Paul Krassner and Barry Crimmins
who, along with others, including Amy Goodman, Greg Palast and Al Giordano (publisher of Narco News)
- received the Uppie (for Upton Sinclair) Award for freedom of expression
at the Warner Grand Theater in San Pedro
Mr. Conspiracy Says...
Short Quotes
"Jesus Christ!"
- Pope Pius III -
"morbid curiosity"
- Al Franken -
"I can walk again."
- Peter Sellers: Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb -
"shucks"
- Gomer Pyle -
"fuck"
- Lewis Black: Black on Broadway -
You're a Yeti and you've got to springboard the penguins to the gulls. Don't ask.
Song of the Week
Al Franken
Sung to the tune of "Tomorrow" from the Broadway show "Annie"
Al Franken
Al Franken
I luv's yuh
Al Franken
You're only a dream away
Don't Take My Word For It
"In U.S. intelligence, there was no prohibition of hiring anyone in the Gestapo and SS."
"Chaos is the order that lives on, so it must be pure, and that is why it is the opposite of haste."
"I read where you were shot five times in the tabloids."
- Nora Charles -
"It's not true. He didn't come anywhere near my tabloids."
- Nick Charles -
"While the Abu Ghraib crisis has left administration officials falling over themselves with protestations of compassion, it's worth remembering that the Bush White House has fought hard against the International Convention Against Torture, especially a proposal to establish voluntary inspections of prisons and detention centers in signatory countries, such as the United States."
"Arrests as described in these allegations tended to follow a pattern. Arresting authorities entered houses usually after dark, breaking down doors, waking up residents roughly, yelling orders, forcing family members into one room under military guard while searching the rest of the house and further breaking doors, cabinets and other property. They arrested suspects, tying their hands in the back with flexi-cuffs, hooding them and taking them away. Sometime they arrested all adult males present in a house including elderly, handicapped or sick people. Treatment often included pushing people around, insulting, taking aim with rifles, punching and kicking and striking with rifles. Individuals were often led away in whatever they happened to be wearing at the time of arrest -- sometime in pyjamas or underwear -- and were denied the opportunity to gather a few essential belongings, such as clothing, hygiene items, medicine or eyeglasses."
"Around the halls of the Pentagon, a term of caustic derision has emerged for the enlisted soldiers at the heart of the furor over the Abu Ghraib prison scandal: the six morons who lost the war. Indeed, the damage done to the U.S. military and the nation as a whole by the horrifying photographs of U.S. soldiers abusing Iraqi detainees at the notorious prison is incalculable. But the folks in the Pentagon are talking about the wrong morons. ... On the battlefield, Myers and Rumsfelds errors would be called a lack of situational awareness a failure that amounts to professional negligence. This was not just a failure of leadership at the local command level. This was a failure that ran straight to the top. Accountability here is essential even if that means relieving top leaders from duty in a time of war."
"If my soldiers were to begin to think, not one of them would remain in the army."
- Frederick the Great -
"The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity."
- Harlan Ellison -
"Kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world. She's a stupid bitch, if there ever was a bitch, she's a bitch to all the boys and girls."
- Cartman: South Park: Bigger, Longer, & Uncut -
"Although the GOP has tried to speciously tar John Kerry as a political chameleon who will change his stand on any issue at the drop of a hat, this may be a refreshing change after experiencing four years of a president who won't change his position even in the shadow of a bank safe dropped from a fourth-floor window."
- R.S. Janes (who also supplied many of the quotes this week. Thanks dude) -
"The United States has permitted American companies to ship electric-shock weapons and mechanical restraints to 39 countries accused of torturing dissidents and detainees, according to a U.S. News review of export documents and State Department reports. The inquiry established that in the past two years, for instance, stun batons, stun guns, and similar devices were shipped to Haiti, India, Lebanon, and Turkey; the State Department has cited authorities in those countries for torturing prisoners with electric shock devices. Some companies have even found ways to ship their products overseas without seeking a government license, the inquiry found."
"On almost every issue involving postwar Iraq -- troop strength, international support, the credibility of exiles, de-Baathification, handling Ayatollah Ali Sistani -- Washington's assumptions and policies have been wrong. By now most have been reversed, often too late to have much effect. This strange combination of arrogance and incompetence has not only destroyed the hopes for a new Iraq. It has had the much broader effect of turning the United States into an international outlaw in the eyes of much of the world."
"Truth resides in every human heart, and one has to search for it there, and to be guided by truth as one sees it. But no one has a right to coerce others to act according to his own view of truth."
- Mahatma Gandhi -
"A man should never be ashamed to own he has been in the wrong, which is but saying...that he is wiser today than he was yesterday."
- Alexander Pope -
"If you shut the door to all errors, truth will be shut out."
- Rabindranath Tagore -
"The world, as addicted as it is to putting everyone on a shelf with a price tag, persists in creating unique and extraordinary individuals, capable of thinking for themselves; exactly how this happens is a mystery, because they are rarely encouraged or praised at the outset of their iconoclasm, but without them them we'd all be shivering in dark caves trying to figure out how to attach a sharp piece of stone to a stick so that we can kill something for dinner."
- Dr. Jess Richana -
"The video of the beheading [of Nicholas Berg] leads one to believe that Abu Musab Zarqawi, a man wanted by Iraqi and U.S. authorities for having ties with Al-Qaeda and considered behind most attacks on civilians in Iraq, personally performed the beheading... Really? Why wear a mask if you are announcing to the world that you did it?...
"However, it must be said that the beheading of Berg is the most despicable, most dishonorable, and most vile result of the war. An overwhelming majority of Iraqis I have spoken with couldn't agree more. I watched the video footage twice and saw the grimace, the shock, and the horror of Arab journalists and bystanders."
"Nicholas Berg died for the sins of George W. Bush and Donald Rumsfeld."
"I think it's still in question whether Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld and, quite frankly, General Myers can command the respect and the trust and the confidence of the military and the American people to lead this country. Aside from the fact we're losing the Iraqi people, we're losing the Muslim, Arab world, and we're losing the support of our allies."
- Sen. Chuck Hagel (R.-NE) as quoted by the Associated Press, May 9, 2004 -
"It was reported that CACI International, the company that employs one of the accused Abu Ghraib torturers, also sells the Bush Administration ethics training tapes."
"Before the Abu Ghraib torture became public, perhaps 1 in 5 Iraqis were extremely against the Americans. Now, that is reversed; 4 out of 5 have been radicalized by the abuse of the prisoners."
- Anonymous -
"In short, Bush -- the same guy who infuriated the Islamic world when he used the term 'crusade' to define his initial anti-terrorist policy -- has become the best recruiter for Hamas and Islamic Jihad. And, most importantly in terms of domestic American security, Bush has become the best recruiter for Al Qaida."
"I don't need to hear how they were just following orders, because if even one American soldier gets off with that defense, we have just validated the Third Reich, and the Holocaust. ...Take those [Americans] that are guilty, and give them to the Iraqi provisional government as war criminals. I can't think the walls of Abu Ghraib are going to look the same to them from [the] other side of the bars."
"I think the other point that no one is making about the abuse photos is just the disproportionate number of women involved, including a girl general running the entire operation. I mean, this is a lesson, ...on why women shouldn't be in the military. In addition to not being able to carry even a medium-sized backpack, women are too vicious."
- Ann Coulter making a "joke" on Fox News about the torture at Abu Ghraib prison -
"[T]he presence of women in the unit actually encouraged more misbehavior, especially of the sexual nature that the pictures reveal."
- Linda Chavez apparently drinking from the same vat of stupidity as Coulter -
"If you look at these pictures, you cannot deny that there are elements of homoeroticism. I've seen things like this on American websites. You can find these if you have the passwords to these various porn sites, you can see things like this."
- Rush Limbaugh trying to connect the Abu Ghraib torture to pornography and inadvertently letting his listeners know how he spends his spare time -
"I have studied foreign relations nearly my entire life, and I have never seen a situation as terrible as this one."
"If the intensity of damage-control efforts is any gauge of the concern inside the White House about the scandal over mistreatment of Iraqi prisoners, President Bush and his advisers are very worried."
"They wanted to provide Iraq with a smooth transition to democracy. We couldn't just plunge them into a non-torture-based society with no time to adjust."
"Who would've ever thought that more nude pictures would have come out under Bush than under Clinton?"
- Jay Leno -
"For the mothers and wives of American soldiers, we tell you that we offered the U.S. administration to exchange this hostage with some of the detainees in Abu Ghraib and they refused. So we tell you that the dignity of the Muslim men and women in Abu Ghraib and others is not redeemed except by blood and souls. You will not receive anything from us but coffins after coffins ... slaughtered in this way."
"History will be kind to me for I intend to write it."
- Winston Churchill -
"Beware of the words 'internal security,' for they are the eternal cry of the oppressor."
- Voltaire -
"Every man goes down to his death bearing in his hands only that which he has given away."
- Persian Proverb -
"A heretic is a man who sees with his own eyes."
- Gotthold Ephraim Lessing -
"We the People are the rightful master of both congress and the courts - not to overthrow the Constitution, but to overthrow the men who pervert the constitution."
- Abraham Lincoln -
"All wars are wars among thieves who are too cowardly to fight and who therefore induce the young manhood of the whole world to do the fighting for them."
- Emma Goldman -
"Sit quietly for a few moments and visualize God's energy coursing through your entire body. When you allow your entire being to become still in its own subtle vibration, you can experience God's power. It is shri. It is filled with auspiciousness, beauty, sacredness, abundance, nobility, dignity, and good fortune. Know that all this exists within yourself."
- Gurumayi Chidvilasananda -
"Where there is no penalty for failure, failures proliferate."
- George Will -
Mordechai Vanunu
c/o Cathedral Church of St. George
20 Nablus Road
PO Box 19018
Jerusalem 91190
Israel
Don't let this happen to you.
so I can buy a CD burner
and produce a disk
containing every single issue of Disinfotainment Today,
an instant collector's item,
and I'll give you one.
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.
Thanks,
Abner Period
---,_,----
/ \
/ \ Visit http://www.disinfotainmenttoday.com
( )
/ _/----\_ \ _ .---
/ '/ \` \ _________/ |__--'@/
/ / . \ \ (__PAN AM/__|__===
/ /| |\ \
/ / | | \ \ Or I'll crash this plane
/ /`_/_ _\_'\ \ into Katie Couric!
/ '/ ( . )( . ) \ `\
<_ ' `--`___'`___'--' ` _>
/ ' @ @/ =\@ @ ` \
/ / @@( , )@@ \ \
/ / @@| o o|@@ \ \
' / @@@@@@@@ \
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'Best of TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
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Protest Music
Cowboys: Bush, Cheney and Rumsfeld
Dear Marty,
I'm a singer/songwriter/world peace warrior, more
specifically a PHASE TRANSITION FOLK ARTIST. Please
listen to anti-war song attached (about tragedy of
bombing of wedding party in Afghanistan)........and
check out more of my songs and message
Peace,
John F
Fairfield, IA
Thanks, John!
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Weekly Link
Sick Of This Crap!
It's time we start planning the farewell party! After an incredible run of Constitution spitting, global reputation squandering, Christian warmongering governance, America needs a few years to catch her breath and try new leadership. Come celebrate with us and we start brainstorming on the guest list and party favors.
Thanks, Jimmy Inhofe!
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from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
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Weekly Link
Humor Gazette
Here is some satirical spin on Bush's 42% approval rating
Thanks, John B!
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Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Overcast, but pleasant.
Tonight, Tuesday:
CBS begins the night with '60 Minutes II', followed by the SEASON FINALE of 'King Of Queens', then a
RERUN 'Raymond', followed by '48 Hours'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Charlie Sheen and Jack Hanna.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Mario Van Peebles and Auto Pilot Off.
NBC opens the night with the RERUN 'Friends' Retrospective from last Thursday, followed by a SEASON FINALE 'West Wing', then the
SEASON FINALE of 'Law & Order'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Leno are Tom Arnold, J-Kwon.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Alec Baldwin, Robert Reich, and Yellowcard.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Elizabeth Berkley, Jennie Finch, and Fat Joe.
ABC has a FRESH 'My Wife & Kid', followed by a RERUN 'My Wife & Kids', then the SEASON FINALE of 'The Bachelor'.
On a RERUN Jimmy Kimmel (from 4/20/04), Quentin Tarantino directs the show, with Laura Harring, Steven Wright. Also, Dick Dale sits in with house band, and musical guest The Darkness.
The WB offers the SEASON FINALE of 'Smallville', followed by the SERIES FINALE of 'Angel'.
Faux has an hourlong SEASON FINALE of 'That 70s Show', followed by a FRESH 'American Idol'.
UPN has a FRESH 'Enterprise', followed by a FRESH 'I'm Still Alive'.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Biography' (Christina Onassis), 'American Justice', and 'City Confidential'.
AMC offers the movie 'History Of The World: Part I', followed by the movie 'Godzilla' (the 1954 Raymond Burr version), then the movie 'War Of The Worlds' (1953 Gene Barry version).
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - May;
[7pm] 'House Invaders' - Ickleford;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - St. Ives;
[8pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Tolworth;
[8:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Mottingham;
[9pm] 'What Not to Wear' - Sandie;
[9:30pm] 'What Not to Wear' - Lucy;
[10pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Clarke;
[11pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Tolworth;
[11:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Mottingham;
[12am] 'What Not to Wear' - Sandie;
[12:30am] 'What Not to Wear' - Lucy;
[1am] 'Cash in the Attic' - Clarke;
[2am] 'House Invaders' - Ickleford;
[2:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - St. Ives;
[3am] 'Changing Rooms' - Tolworth;
[3:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - Mottingham;
[4am] 'What Not to Wear' - Sandie;
[4:30am] 'What Not to Wear' - Lucy;
[5am] 'Cash in the Attic' - Clarke;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'West Wing', 'Showbiz Moms & Dads', another 'Showbiz Moms & Dads', and 'Keen Eddie'.
Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', an old 'Last Comic Standing' (with Buddy Hackett), 'South Park', another 'South Park', and 'Shorties Watchin' Shorties'.
On a RERUN Jon Stewart it's TBA.
History has all 'Modern Marvels' all night.
IFC -
[6AM] 'Tommy' (1975);
[8AM] 'Wild Man Blues' (1998);
[10AM] 'Condo Painting' (2000);
[11:30AM] 'Gallipoli' (1981);
[1:30PM] 'Wild Man Blues' (1998);
[3:30PM] 'Man of the Century' (1999);
[5PM] 'Condo Painting' (2000);
[7PM] 'Gallipoli' (1981);
[9PM] 'Dinner For Five 28' (2003);
[9:30PM] 'Rocked With Gina Gershon - Episode 6' (2003);
[10PM] 'Stardom' (2000);
[12AM] 'The Straight Story' (1999);
[2AM] 'Five Senses' (1999);
[4AM] 'Stardom' (2000). (ALL TIMES EDT)
SciFi has the movie 'Sleepwalkers', followed by the movie 'The Dark Hall'.
Sundance -
[5:45AM] 'Our Times' (Documentary);
07AM] 'Dancer, Texas-Pop.81' (Feature);
[8:40AM] 'Blackboards' (World Cinema);
[10:05AM] 'Shorts Program 113' (Short);
[11:05AM] 'Palookaville' (Feature);
[12:40PM] 'Men Named Milo, Women Named Greta' (Short);
[1PM] 'In This World' (Feature);
[2:30PM] 'Sundance Festival Now' (Original Production);
[3:30PM] 'Stranger Than Paradise' (Feature);
[5PM] 'Mondo Plympton' (Short);
[6PM] 'Bloody Sunday' (World Cinema);
[8PM] 'Look Out Haskell, It's Real: The Making of Medium Cool' (Documentary);
[9PM] 'Anatomy Of A Scene: Baadasssss!' (Original Production);
[9:30PM] 'Gerry' (Feature);
[11:15PM] 'New Scenes From America' (Documentary);
[12AM] 'In This World' (Feature);
[1:30AM] 'Stranger Than Paradise' (Feature);
[3AM] 'Under The Sand' (Feature);
[4:35AM] 'See The Sea' (World Cinema);
[5:30AM] 'Look Out Haskell, It's Real: The Making of Medium Cool' (Documentary). (ALL TIMES EDT)
TCM spends the morning & afternoon paying tribute to a teller of American tales,
director Frank Capra, who was born on this day in 1897, in
Bisacquino, Sicily.
[6am] 'The Miracle Woman' (1931);
[7:45am] 'Lady For A Day' (1933);
[9:30am] 'Pocketful Of Miracles' (1961);
[12pm] 'It Happened One Night' (1934);
[1:45pm] 'Meet John Doe' (1941);
[4pm] 'Arsenic And Old Lace' (1944);
[6pm] 'Chain Lightning' (1950);
[8pm] 'The Best Years Of Our Lives' (1946);
[11pm] 'The Outlaw' (1943)
[1am] 'Our Town' (1940);
[3am] 'A Family Affair' (1936);
[4:30am] 'Judge Hardy's Children' (1938). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Wednesday - 05/19
TCM devotes the morning & afternoon to
the career of
Raymond Massey
[6am] 'The Prisoner Of Zenda' (1937);
[8am] 'Abe Lincoln In Illinois' (1940);
[10am] 'Santa Fe Trail' (1940) [WARNING: also stars Ronald Reagan] ;
[12pm] 'Dangerously They Live' (1941);
[1:30pm] 'God Is My Co-Pilot' (1945);
[3pm] 'Hotel Berlin' (1945);
[5pm] 'Mourning Becomes Electra' (1947);
[8pm] 'The Bridge On The River Kwai' (1957);
[11pm] 'In The Heat Of The Night' (1967);
[1am] 'Funny Girl' (1968);
[4am] 'More Than A Miracle' (1967) [AKA: 'C'era una volta...']. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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Bill Moyers gestures while accepting the Individual George Foster Peabody award during the 63rd annual Peabody awards luncheon, Monday, May 17, 2004, in New York. Moyers was honored for career achievements, most recently his series 'Now with Bill Moyers' and the documentary 'Becoming American: The Chinese Experience.'
Photo by Mary Altaffer
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The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
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Graduation Speech at Alma Mater
Jon Stewart
Jon Stewart, host of Comedy Central's "The Daily Show," told graduates at his alma mater they have a chance to become the new greatest generation by winning the war on terrorism.
"Even if you don't, you won't have trouble surpassing my generation," he told the 2,033 graduates at the College of William and Mary. "If you end up getting your picture taken next to a naked pile of enemy prisoners and don't give the thumbs up, you outdid us."
"I know we were supposed to bequeath to the next generation a world better than the one we were handed, so sorry," he said. "But here's the good news, you fix this thing, you're the new greatest generation, people.
Stewart, a 1984 W&M graduate, got lots of laughs and an honorary doctorate Sunday from the school where he confessed he was a mediocre student.
Jon Stewart
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Politics & Films
Sean Penn
The Cannes film festival has been overshadowed by politics, but actor Sean Penn still thinks there are not enough film-makers tackling current events.
Penn, who was outspoken in his criticism of the war in Iraq, said the United States under resident Bush provided fertile ground for inspiration.
"I don't think there is any art that doesn't respond to the times and I don't frankly think that there's enough political films here or anywhere," he told Reuters in an interview.
Sean Penn
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Author Stephen King of Bangor, Maine, kisses his wife, Tabitha King, after an announcement in the govenor's office at the State House in Augusta, Maine, Monday, May 17, 2004. The Kings joined the governor and author Richard Russo, to announce a new writing contest for high school juniors where the three will be among the judges.
Photo by Pat Wellenbach
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Speech At Penn
Bono
Irish rock star and political activist Bono on Monday urged Western governments to fight poverty, AIDS and debt in Africa because that was cheaper than combating terrorism that may breed in such conditions.
In a speech to new graduates of the University of Pennsylvania, the U2 singer said developed countries have the financial and technological ability to alleviate conditions that lead to the deaths of 7,000 people a day in Africa from preventable diseases.
"It's cheaper than fighting wave after wave of the terrorists' new recruits," he said.
Bono
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In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
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Makes Appearance
Roy Horn
During NBC's annual presentation of its new fall lineup Monday, magician Roy Horn made his first public appearance since his October 2003 mauling by a tiger.
Horn appeared via satellite to an audience of advertisers in New York to discuss an animated series about the animals on Siegfried and Roy's Las Vegas show.
Horn had glasses on, wore a short haircut and didn't move his left arm during the interview.
But Horn spoke often and made several jokes about the series, as he and Fischbacher sat in chairs. Both briefly acknowledged the miracle of his recovery during the interview.
For more on NBCs new schedule, Roy Horn
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Most Played Record
Procol Harum
Procol Harum's 1967 classic "A Whiter Shade of Pale" has been named as the most-played record of the past 70 years in the United Kingdom, according to British performing rights group PPL (Phonographic Performance Ltd).
To mark its 70th anniversary, PPL tabulated the 70 recordings that have received the most airings, not only on radio but all other public performances, including clubs, retail outlets and jukeboxes. It was produced using methodology that ensured each of the seven decades in the organization's history was fairly represented.
After Procol Harum and Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody", the top 10 included Wet Wet Wet's "Love Is All Around" at No. 3, the Everly Brothers' "All I Have To Do Is Dream/Claudette" at No. 4, Bryan Adams "(Everything I Do) I Do It For You" at No. 5, Abba's "Dancing Queen" at No. 6, Elvis Presley's "All Shook Up" at No. 7, Rod Stewart's "Maggie May" at No. 8, and the Beatles pair of "Hello Goodbye" and "Get Back" at Nos. 9 and 10, respectively.
Procol Harum
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Bruce Bonine, a native of Mercer Island, Washington, who now lives in Austria, uses a hockey stick to slap rubber ducks down a stream in Klosterneuburg during a mock 'election' race between George W. Bush and John Kerry, on Sunday, May 2, 2004. A duck bearing Kerry's name won. The event was organized by Democrats Abroad, which is trying to get Americans overseas to vote in November's U.S. presidential election.
Photo by Hans Punz
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Baby News
Kian William & Kaiis Steven Jarrahy
It's a boy - and a boy - for Oscar-winning actress Geena Davis. The 47-year-old star of "Thelma & Louise" gave birth to twin boys at a Los Angeles hospital, publicist Paul Bloch said Monday.
Kian William and Kaiis Steven, born May 6, are now at home in Los Angeles with their mother.
These are the second and third children for Davis and her surgeon husband, Reza Jarrahy, 33. The couple, who married in September 2001, already have a 2-year-old daughter, Alizeh Keshvar.
Kian William & Kaiis Steven Jarrahy
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Signs Off of 'SNL'
Jimmy Fallon
Say goodbye to Jimmy Fallon on "Saturday Night Live."
Fallon announced that he was leaving the comedy show at the end of his "Weekend Update" segment with Tina Fey on Saturday, the show's last original episode of the season.
Jimmy Fallon
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Cancels Five More Shows
Celine Dion
Celine Dion has canceled five more performances of her nightly show at Caesars Palace after spraining her neck earlier this month. Dion's show "A New Day ..." won't go on Wednesday through Sunday. The 36-year-old singer had to cancel last week's performances because of the nagging injury.
Dion is expected to resume performances May 26, Lingle said.
Celine Dion
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Formerly 'The Vidiot'
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Daredevils Honored
World Stunt Awards
As celebrities ranging from Brendan Fraser and Michelle Rodriguez literally crashed the stage in mock stunts, the men and women who risk their lives to make movie action-sequences look realistic were honored Sunday at the World Stunt Awards.
Tony Angelotti and Mark Wagner won the best fight award for their swashbuckling in "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl," while a crew of 10 drivers were honored for best vehicle work in "Bad Boys II."
Paul Eliopolus and Tanoai Reed won best "high work" for their plunges in "The Rundown" and were also among the four others honored as best overall stunt men for that movie. Debbie Evans was recognized as the sole best overall stunt woman for her work in "The Matrix Reloaded."
World Stunt Awards
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Getting New Bentley
Osbournes
Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne were among the Hollywood elite getting new Bentley Continental GTs as charter shipments from the marketing savvy manufacturer arrived in Southern California.
Jennifer Lopez is tooling around Beverly Hills in her $150,000 Bentley Continental and others were sold to Denzel Washington, Eddie Murphy, James Caan and Sylvester Stallone. Candy Spelling got hers as a Mother's Day gift from producer-husband Aaron Spelling.
Osbournes
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Noh actor Otoshige Sakai of the Kanze school shows noh masks that are hundreds of years old before a performance at his noh stage in Tokyo May 17, 2004. Noh, admired as beauty of yugen (restrained elegance), is the oldest theatrical art in Japan and combines the essence of dance, theatre, music and lyrics.
Photo by Toshiyuki Aizawa
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Weeklong Kilborn Gig
Morrissey
Morrissey will spend an entire week on late-night television. The pop singer will appear on "The Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn" on May 24 for an interview. He'll then be the musical guest for the rest of that week.
Kilborn said in a statement he's thrilled to have Morrissey on his show because "his music conveys the loneliness and despair of a man hosting a 12:30 a.m. talk show on CBS."
Morrissey
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Reader Recommendation
Shame
I used to take a drink on occasion with a network newsman famed for his impenetrable calm--his apparent pulse rate that of a large mammal in deep hibernation--and in an avuncular moment he advised me that I'd do all right, in the long run, if I could only avoid the kind of journalism committed to the keyboard "with trembling fingers." I recognized the wisdom of this advice and endeavored over the years to write as little as possible when my blood pressure was soaring and my face was streaked with tears. The lava flows of indignation ebb predictably with age and hardening arteries, and nearing three-score I thought I'd never have to take another tranquilizer--or a double bourbon--to keep my fingers steady on the keys.
I never imagined 2004. It would be sophomoric to say that there was never a worse year to be an American. My own memory preserves the dread summer of 1968. My parents suffered the consequences of 1941 and 1929, and my grandfather Jack Allen, who lived through all those dark years, might have added 1918, with the flu epidemic and the Great War in France that each failed, very narrowly, to kill him. Drop back another generation or two and we encounter 1861.
But if this is not the worst year yet to be an American, it's the worst year by far to be one of those hag-ridden wretches who comment on the American scene. The columnist who trades in snide one-liners flounders like a stupid comic with a tired audience; TV comedians and talk-show hosts who try to treat 2004 like any zany election year have become grotesque, almost loathsome. Our most serious, responsible newspaper columnists are so stunned by the disaster in Iraq that they've begun to quote poetry by Rupert Brooke and Wilfred Owen. They lower their voices, they sound like Army chaplains delivering eulogies over ranks of flag-draped coffins, under a hard rain from an iron sky.
For the rest, Shame
Thanks, Tod!
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The Other White Meat
Cicadas
A man who cooked and ate nearly 30 cicadas sought medical treatment after suffering a strong allergic reaction to the sauteed insects.
The man showed up at a Bloomington clinic Thursday covered from head-to-toe in hives, and sheepishly told a doctor he'd caught and ate the cicadas after sauteing them in butter with crushed garlic and basil.
"He said they didn't taste too bad, but his wife didn't care for the aroma," said Dr. Al Ripani, the doctor who treated the man at Promptcare East.
The man, who has a history of asthma and shellfish allergies, suffered a "significant allergic reaction," after eating the cicadas, Ripani said.
Cicadas
Cicada-licious <~~~PDF file
Adobe Reader
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In Memory
Anna Lee
Anna Lee, whose nearly 70-year acting career in movies and television spanned from her breakthrough role in "How Green Was My Valley" to an extended run on "General Hospital," died Friday of pneumonia, her son said. She was 91. Lee had been ailing for the past several months and died at her home near Beverly Hills with son Jeffrey Byron, 48, by her side, Byron said Sunday.
Paralyzed from the waist down in a car accident just a year after she began playing Lila Quartermaine in ABC's "General Hospital," Lee acted in a wheelchair for more than two decades until she left the soap last year, Byron said.
Born in Kent, England, Lee studied acting in London and was known as "the British bombshell" when touring with the London Repertory Theatre, her son said.
In the early 1930s she moved to California to work in Hollywood, and appeared in more than 60 films including "The Sound of Music" (1965), "Fort Apache" (1948) and "King Solomon's Mines" (1937).
Nearing retirement age, Lee's stint on ABC's "General Hospital" rejuvenated her, Byron said. "That was really a great elixir for her. Without a doubt it gave her much more longevity later in life," he said.
In 1982, Lee received an MBE, or Member of the Order of the British Empire award. She is to be honored with a lifetime achievement award at Friday's Daytime Emmy Awards ceremony.
Lee was married three times, first to Robert Stevenson, the director of films including "The Love Bug" and "Mary Poppins." She was married to George Stafford for two decades and wed writer Robert Nathan in 1970. Nathan died in 1985.
Lee is survived by a sister, Ruth, two sons, two daughters, seven grandchildren and two great-grandchildren.
Anna Lee
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Some of the fifty purebred plains bison that were released onto to virgin native grassland near Eastend, Sask., Canada Monday, May 17, 2004, run through the prairie grasses. The wild bison are being released into the Old Man on His Back Prairie Conservation Area. The animals are believed to be only the third herd of pure blood bison in Canada. It's hoped the herd will eventually grow in size to about 300.
Photo by Jeff McIntosh
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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Welcome !
You have reached the Home page of BartCop Entertainment.
Make yourself home, take your shoes off...
Go ahead, scratch it if it itches.
The idea is to have fun.
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amused or entertained?
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How about a favorite TV show, movie, book, play, cartoon, or legal amusement?
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