Bartcop Entertainment - Tuesday, 20 April, 2004
Tuesday
20 April, 2004
(Updated Daily)
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Issue #101
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
A blind albino camel in a snowstorm
Issue #101
is brought to you by
Our Iraqi Friends
Letter of the Week
BACKGROUND: In 1986, at the height of the Cold War, Mordechai Vanunu's clandestine photos from inside the Dimona nuclear center exposed its secrets and confirmed Israel to be a major nuclear weapons power. Kidnapped by Israeli agents just before his story was told in The Sunday Times of London, Vanunu was convicted of espionage and treason in a secret trial. He acted out of a belief that in a democracy, people should know about and debate such a pivotal issue as nuclear weapons.
INTERNATIONAL CONDEMNATION AS LAWYERS APPEAL
"A SPECIAL PRISON JUST FOR MORDECHAI VANUNU."
Lawyers representing Mordechai Vanunu on Sunday appealed Israel's plan to bar the long-imprisoned nuclear whistleblower from travel within or outside of Israel, and from all contact with foreigners, when he is released from prison on Wednesday. Vanunu has spent nearly 18 years in prison, most of it in solitary confinement.
"This is just the continuation of his confinement with different conditions," said Oded Feller, of the Association for Civil Rights in Israel (ACRI).
"Pentagon Papers" whistleblower Daniel Ellsberg declared from San Francisco, "The outrageous and illegal restrictions proposed to be inflicted on him when he finally steps out of prison should be widely protested and rejected, not only because they violate his fundamental human rights but because the world needs to hear this free man's voice."
The ACRI's Oded delivered Vanunu's appeal to Interior Minister Avraham Poraz and Home Front commander Major General Yair Naveh, who both signed the decree. If rejected, Vanunu's appeal will then be brought to Israel's High Court.
Mordechai Vanunu has served his full 18 year sentence. He has no more nuclear secrets to tell about Dimona, and he has promised never to name other workers he knew.
"For his loyalty to the public interest he has been excessively punished. To restrict his right of free movement and free speech upon his release would bring the treatment of Vanunu to new, unimaginable levels of illegality and cruelty." said Fredrik S. Heffermehl of Norway, Vice President of International Association of Lawyers Against Nuclear Arms (IALANA).
The nearly 100 human rights and anti-nuclear activists from 14 countries in Israel to welcome the prisoner to freedom "will not be able to greet him face-to-face, shake his hand, embrace, or break bread with Vanunu without putting him at risk to be immediately arrested and returned to prison," said Rayna Moss of the Israeli Committee for Mordechai Vanunu and for a Middle East Free of Atomic, Biological and Chemical Weapons.
"This is a destructive decision for Mordechai" said Mary Eoloff of Minnesota. Mary and her husband Nicholas Eoloff adopted Vanunu several years ago and are among the rare few permitted to visit the prisoner. They have prepared a room in their home to help him reestablish his life, but now may not even be allowed to correspond with their son. A visit scheduled at the prison for Monday, April 19 could be their last words with Mordechai for the foreseeable future.
"This is an outrageous injustice not fitting for a democratic nation," said Felice Cohen-Joppa, Coordinator of the U.S. Campaign to Free Mordechai Vanunu, who is now in Israel.
"With these restrictions, the Israeli government is building a special prison just for Mordechai Vanunu."
The U.S. Campaign to Free Mordechai Vanunu asks people of good will to call or fax the Israeli Embassy in Washington, DC, and demand that the restrictions be dropped and Mordechai Vanunu be permitted to leave Israel immediately after his release from prison on April 21.
Puzzle of the Week
Psychic Trick of the Week
According to
this and
this, WMDs are currently being smuggled into Iraq by the US. The articles give precise dates and locations and methods. Go there yourself, write it down, and if Bush makes an announcement sometime before the election that he's "found the WMDs," you can show what you wrote to your friends and act smug.
Movie of the Week
You missed it. It was Mission to Moscow on TCM in which Walter Huston, playing US Ambassador Joseph Davies, travelled around the world with impeccable charm, talking to Stalin, talking to Churchill, talking to Roosevelt, trying to prevent WWII. It was full of amazing lessons in diplomacy. Davies' intentional style was the opposite of the way most people behave. He only spoke ill of people right in front of them while praising them behind their backs. Here are some quotes...
"Only one thing matters. What kind of neighbor will they be in case of a fire."
"If a nation wants to live in peace with its neighbors, it doesn't keep rattling a saber at them."
"Mr. Roosevelt proposes that every nation in the world limit its armaments to the weapons a man can carry on his shoulder." (The best idea I've ever heard.)
"You cannot build to destroy and escape destruction yourself."
Joke of the Week
A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, a drunk in line behind her stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this ejaculation, but was intrigued by the derelict's intuition since she was indeed single. Looking at the six items on the belt and observing nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have informed him as to her marital status, she said: "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "Cause you're ugly."
Gallery of the Week
What if you had a baby and a camera and you kept running into celebrities?
Would you ask the celebrities to hold your baby so you could take their picture?
Once you had dozens of pictures of your baby being held by celebrities,
would you make an online gallery of the photos?
Song of the Week
Condoleezza
Sung to the tune of Mona Lisa
Condoleezza, Condoleezza, Clarke has named you,
Said you missed the dangers of bin Laden's guile.
You're of course a proxy for the guy he's after,
But you'll mask your inner bile with a smile.
Do you share all of the views of your employer?
Or hide doubts about some actions you deplore?
Many schemes have been dropped in your in-box,
Some were hazy, some plain crazy.
Rest assured, come what may, this November,
You'll end up with a think tank sinecure.
I Feel So Much Safer Now
The EPA, after consulting with the rat-poison industry, has
shelved draft regulations designed to make it harder for children to ingest poisons.
Saddam Hussein's wife was allowed a brief visit. She says, unequivocally, that the man they have captured is
not her husband.
Mr. Conspiracy Says
Okay, get out your checkbook. Now. Do it. I'm waiting. See that line where you put your signature? It's not a line, it's very small text. Here's a very small segment of what mine looks like...
You don't have to trust me. Check it out. Get out a magnifying glass or put one in the scanner and crank it. You'll see I'm right.
What does it say? Seems unintelligible. What does it mean? I've only seen one explanation and it's a doozy. According to
Skip Ellsworth...
It might be extremely advantageous for you to purchase and register your property in your "true and Proper name." It appears that your government will always try to register your property through the use of your name written in "all upper-case letters" -- in the following way: "ALBERT J. JOHNSON" [which creates a "legal fiction"] instead of using your "true and Proper" name [which must be written in both "upper and lower case" letters] -- as follows: "Albert J. Johnson" .
I will buy lunch for the first person who can register the purchase of his property (at either the County or State level) using his "true and Proper" name -- instead of in the "legal fiction" [look it up in "Black's Law Dictionary"] name that is written using only "upper case" letters.
In fact, I will buy lunch for the first person who can get the American government (at any level) to enter into ANY contract with him through the use of his "true and Proper name."
For instance the following documents that you accepted from your government are all "contracts" (Driver's License, Social Security Card, Voter's Registration Card, Credit Cards, motor vehicle title, motor vehicle registration, Summons and Complaints, the registration of your real estate for taxation, etc.).
"Not surprisingly, your name on all of the above-mentioned contracts has been "converted" into a "legal fiction." Even your bank account is not in your "true and Proper" name. Instead, it is in the name of a "legal fiction."
Do you know what it means when you accept the "misuse" (it is not a mere "miss-spelling") of your name written in all capital letters ???
Because the above-described legal fiction is a creation of government, it appears that the following Maxim of Law applies: "The government has the right to absolutely control [e.g. disregarding the Constitution] anything that it creates."
Along with the free lunch, Disinfotainment Today will print any answer that makes more sense than Mr. Ellsworth's.
History Lessons from Hell
"The FAA disarmed airline pilots in late 1987. OK, fast forward now to July of 2001. Airline pilots have been defenseless for over a dozen years and a flood of intelligence reports warn that Al Queda might hijack an airliner soon. Interestingly, in the thicket of the Federal Aviation Regulations, there remained a little known and completely unused provision that allowed individual airlines to arm their pilots. Coincidentally, the FAA chose July of 2001 to start the process of removing that regulation from the books. The sad irony is that the process was completed in September of 2001. The very month that airliners were used as guided bombs was the month that the FAA made it official that no airline pilot could ever be armed."
"On May 15, 2001, I blasted the Bush administration for rewarding the Taliban for 'controlling' the opium crop with $43 million in U.S. aid to Afghanistan, to be distributed by an arm of the United Nations. Secretary of State Colin L. Powell announced the gift, specifically mentioning the opium suppression as the rationale and assuring that the U.S. would 'continue to look for ways to provide more assistance to the Afghans.'
"Five months before 9/11, I publicly challenged the wisdom of supporting a regime that backed Al Qaeda: 'Never mind that Osama bin Laden still operates the leading anti-American terror operation from his base in Afghanistan, from which, among other crimes, he launched two bloody attacks on American embassies in Africa in 1998.' I'm not clairvoyant, but I didn't need my own CIA to know that it's self-destructive to reward a regime that harbors the world's most dangerous terrorists.
"After 9/11, the column was dug up by bloggers and widely distributed and debated on the Internet. Defenders of the administration attacked it as a distortion, arguing that because the money was targeted as humanitarian aid, the U.S. was not actually helping the Taliban. Yet this specious distinction ignored the context of Powell's glowing remarks, and it failed to explain a similarly toned follow-up meeting Aug. 2, 2001, in Islamabad, Pakistan, which gave the Taliban similar kid-glove treatment. That meeting, held between Christina B. Rocca, assistant secretary of State for South Asia, and Abdul Salam Zaeef, the Taliban ambassador to Pakistan, took place four days before Bush received his now-infamous briefing on the imminent threat from Al Qaeda agents who were already in sleeper cells in this country, armed with explosives.
"Yet Rocca said nothing to the Taliban's ambassador about Al Qaeda's continuing threat to kill Americans, ignoring the fact that the Taliban and Al Qaeda leaders were at that point inseparable, financially, militarily and ideologically."
Circumstantial evidence: There has never been an exact accounting of how the $43 million was spent.
"It appears that, unbeknownst to Westerners, there have actually been, for quite some time now, two competing theories concerning the origins of petroleum. One theory claims that oil is an organic 'fossil fuel' deposited in finite quantities near the planet's surface. The other theory claims that oil is continuously generated by natural processes in the Earth's magma. One theory is backed by a massive body of research representing fifty years of intense scientific inquiry. The other theory is an unproven relic of the eighteenth century. So which theory have we in the West, in our infinite wisdom, chosen to embrace? Why, the fundamentally absurd 'Fossil Fuel' theory, of course -- the same theory that the 'Peak Oil' doomsday warnings are based on.
"In August 2002, the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences published a study authored by J.F. Kenney, V.A. Kutchenov, N.A. Bendeliani and V.A. Alekseev. The authors argued, quite compellingly, that oil is not created from organic compounds at the temperatures and pressures found close to the surface of the earth, but rather is created from inorganic compounds at the extreme temperatures and pressures present only near the core of the earth."
Belated Christmas Gift from Hell
Don't Take My Word For It
"The lunatic is a man who lives in a small world but thinks it is a large one."
- Gilbert Keith Chesterton -
"No new work of art comes into existence (whether consciously or unconsciously) without an organic link to what was created earlier. But it is equally true that a healthy conservatism must be flexible both in terms of creation and perception, remaining equally sensitive to the old and to the new, to venerable and worthy traditions, and to the freedom to explore, without which no future can ever be born. At the same time, the artist must not forget that creative freedom can be dangerous, for the fewer artistic limitations he imposes on his own work, the less chance he has for artistic success. The loss of a responsible organizing force weakens or even ruins the structure, the meaning and ultimate value of a work of art."
- Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn: The Relentless Cult of Novelty and How it Wrecked the Century -
"If a great artist spits, it is art."
- Pablo Picasso -
"The older dictators fell because they could never supply their subjects with enough bread, enough circuses, enough miracles, and mysteries. Under a scientific dictatorship, education will really work, with the result that most men and women will grow up to love their servitude and will never dream of revolution. There seems to be no good reason why a thoroughly scientific dictatorship should ever be overthrown."
- Aldous Huxley: Brave New World Revisited -
"Since the Sun God (and his various relations, including sons and wives) were, after several thousands years of worship, beginning to fray around the edges in terms of believability, and a lot commoners were beginning to grumble that this stuff was all made up, the Illuminati came up with a new and improved version of their mind control software that didn't depend upon the Sun God or Moon Goddess for ultimate authority."
- Jim Keith: Saucers of the Illuminati -
"The doctrine of man playing god reaches its nadir in the philosophy of scientism which makes possible the complete mental, spiritual and physical enslavement of mankind through technologies such as satellite and computer surveillance; a state of affairs symbolized by the 'All Seeing Eye' above the unfinished pyramid on the U.S. one dollar bill."
- Michael Hoffman -
"Those who call the shots are never in the line of fire."
- Ani DiFranco -
"The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself, but in so doing, he identifies himself with people â€" that is, people everywhere, not for the purpose of taking them apart, but simply revealing their true nature."
- James Thurber -
"While the situation in Iraq has exploded -- both literally and figuratively -- what has Mr. Bush been up to? Has he rushed back to Washington to meet face to face with his top military and civilian defense advisers? Has he called for a summit of the heads of state of his 'coalition of the willing' to discuss their next move? Has he publicly called upon the leaders of the surrounding Arab states to act as intermediaries? Has he addressed the American people to assure them in this hour of crisis? No, he's been too busy bass fishing on his ranch in Crawford with his father for any of that."
"You don't have to listen to Stern. Exercising the same freedom, I am Limbaugh-free. And please don't tell me that Stern must be fined and driven off the radio because he uses the 'public airwaves.' If they are public, then his listeners are the public, and we want to listen to him on our airwaves. The public airwaves cannot be held hostage to a small segment that wants to decide what the rest of us can hear -- especially now that President Bush supports consolidating more and more media outlets into a few rich hands.
"But listen carefully. I support Limbaugh's right to be on the radio. I feel it is fully equal to Stern's. I find it strange that so many Americans describe themselves as patriotic when their values are anti-democratic and totalitarian. We are all familiar with Voltaire's great cry: 'I may disagree with what you say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it.' Ideas like his helped form the emerging American republic. Today, the Federal Communications Commission operates under an alternative slogan: 'Since a minority that is very important to this administration disagrees with what you say, shut up.'"
"First, can we stop the Orwellian language and start using the proper names for things? Those are not 'contractors' in Iraq. They are not there to fix a roof or to pour concrete in a driveway. They are MERCENARIES and SOLDIERS OF FORTUNE. They are there for the money, and the money is very good if you live long enough to spend it. Halliburton is not a "company" doing business in Iraq. It is a WAR PROFITEER, bilking millions from the pockets of average Americans. In past wars they would have been arrested -- or worse.
"The Iraqis who have risen up against the occupation are not 'insurgents' or 'terrorists' or 'The Enemy.' They are the REVOLUTION, the Minutemen, and their numbers will grow -- and they will win.
"Get it, Mr. Bush? You closed down a friggin' weekly newspaper, you great giver of freedom and democracy! Then all hell broke loose. The paper only had 10,000 readers! Why are you smirking?"
"Unlike many other terrorist attacks, these attacks killed people whose family, friends and neighbors understand how these financial systems work. Victim families, friends and the residents of the communities directly harmed can calculate who made money on 9-11 profiteering. They can trace the flow of money into the 2004 Presidential campaign coffers from the profits your supporters made as a result of 9-11 profiteering. They can calculate how 9-11 profiteering connects to the financing and silence of corporate media.
"Those personally impacted and the global researchers they network with have the intellectual power and personal courage to ask and answer, Cui Bono? (Who Benefits?) They understand that your success as National Security Advisor is as a direct result of your failure to stop 9-11. They can see how your lies about 9-11 made money for the investment syndicate that put you in power and for the buyers of US Treasury securities who are so richly paid to finance the US military, intelligence and enforcement apparatus and the defense contractors and oil interests it serves."
"In his press conference last Tuesday, an event incited by the desperation of declining polls, Mr. Bush swayed towards three main themes, the first being that he has unshakable faith in freedom and democracy to perform global miracles -- taking into account the tacit precept that if the Iraqis, or any other unwashed miscreants, should freely choose some form of government not comporting with the prevailing American model of corporate capitalism by, say, nationalizing the oil fields, or should they choose to elect an ideological brother of Ayatollah Khomeini -- we would take the liberty of stubbornly insisting they alter their political opinions at the business end of a gun barrel. This is why all Iraqis feel a sense of relief that the oppressive Saddam Hussein is gone: Under Saddam, they had a dictatorial strongman running a sham puppet government; under Bush, they'll have a sham puppet government run by a dictatorial strongman."
- R.S. Janes -
"We must stay the course."
- Dubya -
"What course?"
- nobody at the press conference -
"If you were a fascist dictator bent on taking over the world, how would you behave any differently?"
- nobody else at the press conference -
"There can be no security anywhere in the free world if there is no fiscal and economic stability within the United States."
"Republicans and Communists have more in common than they realize. Both parties seem to want a society based on oligarchy. They only disagree on who should make up the oligarchy."
- Stalzy -
"Main Entry: ol·i·gar·chy
Pronunciation: 'ä-l&-"gär-kE, 'O-
Function: noun
1 : government by the few
2 : a government in which a small group exercises control especially for corrupt and selfish purposes; also : a group exercising such control"
"History. We don't know. We'll all be dead."
- Dubya's answer to Bob Woodward's question "How will history view the war?" -
"Democracy encourages bad leadership."
- Plato's Republic -
"One evil empire down, one to go."
- Michael Moore: The Big One -
"War is easy. Anyone can go to war. People have been slaughtering each other for thousands of years. There is no honor in war as it represents the failure of peace. Peace is hard. Peace take intelligence and courage. Peace requires the discipline to move beyond the hate. Peace takes more courage than war does. The truly brave are not those who give in to war - but those who make the peace."
"Because the tax cuts are so tilted toward the highest-income households and become even more so over time, as some of the upper-income tax cuts phase-in the burden of financing these lopsided tax cuts ultimately is likely to be borne disproportionately by households who gain only modestly from the tax cuts. This will be the case unless off-setting spending cuts or tax increases are enacted that reduce benefits or raise taxes primarily on high-income households. As a result, over the long term most Americans may well be net losers from the tax cuts."
"The world's existence is sustained by kindliness. The very existence of those bereft of it burdens the earth."
- Tirukkural 58:572 -
"Last week 20-year-old Michelle Witmer, who had joined the National Guard as a military policeman to help with her college expenses, was buried, having been killed in an ambush in Iraq. The U.S. Army is now offering her two sisters, who also were serving in a Guard unit in Iraq, a choice of not returning to Iraq.
"Why not give the same choice to all the other soldiers serving in Iraq, including those 20,000 troops whose one-year tour of duty is now being involuntarily extended? After all, the president and the Pentagon continue to tell us that the troops believe in what they’re doing in Iraq. Why not put that claim to the test? And what better way to test it than by offering the same choice to the all other troops that the Pentagon has offered to the surviving Witmer sisters? That would mean, of course, that the Pentagon would also have to discontinue its prosecution of Staff Sgt. Camilo Mejia, who has refused out of conscience to return to Iraq to take part in what he believes is an 'oil-driven war.'”
"5) Beginning in the summer of 2001, Ashcroft stopped flying commercial airlines and traveled exclusively by private jet because of an FBI 'threat assessment.' What, exactly, did the threat assessment say? Why is the threat assessment still being withheld from the public?"
"Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage, and those who manage what they do not understand."
- Putt's Law -
Everything Else
Don't let this happen to you.
or don't. See if I care.
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form. It consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either satire or fair use.
Thanks,
Myra Mains
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'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
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Reader Link
Name Generator
Get your Ramones name!
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"A leadership is someone who brings people together."
-- George W. Bush --
Thanks, Kip!
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Link
Baby Giraffe
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Reader Link
Humor Gazette
Here is a piece inspired by the annual TV-Turnoff Week (April 19-25).
Thanks, John B!
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from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
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Reader Link
'Sick Of This Crap!'
Thanks, John A!
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Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny, breezy & cool - feels more like fall than spring.
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS begins the night with a RERUN 'Navy NCIS', followed by a
FRESH 'The Guardian', then a RERUN 'Judging Amy'.
On a RERUN Dave (from 3/15/04) are Jim Carrey and Steve Winwood.
On a RERUN Craiggers are Jeff Gordon, Richie Sambora, and Wyclef Jean.
NBC opens the night with a FRESH 'Whoopi' (the last FRESH 'Whoopi' of the season), followed by a FRESH 'Happy Family', then a FRESH
'Friends', followed by a FRESH 'Scrubs', then a FRESH 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Leno are Lindsay Lohan and David Bowie.
On a RERUN Conan are Tyra Banks, Andy Serkis, and Los Lonely Boys.
On a RERUN Carson Daly are Viggo Mortensen, Jill Hennessy, and Cee-Lo.
ABC starts the night with a FRESH '8 Simple Rules', followed by a FRESH 'I'm With Her', then a
RERUN 'Jim', followed by another RERUN 'Jim', then a FRESH 'NYPD Blue'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Laura Harring, Steven Wright, and the Darkness.
The WB offers a FRESH 'Gilmore Girls', followed by a FRESH 'One Tree Hill'.
Faux has a FRESH 'American Idol', followed by a FRESH '24' (Day 3: 7am - 8am).
UPN has a RERUN 'One On One', followed by a RERUN 'All Of Us', then a FRESH
'Rock Me Baby', followed by a RERUN 'Girlfriends'.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Biography' (reality tv stars), and a FRESH 2-hour 'Cold Case Files'.
AMC offers the movie '9 To 5', followed by the movie 'Working Girl', then the movie '9 To 5', again.
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Smith;
[7pm] 'House Invaders' - South Littleton;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Weston Super Mare;
[8pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Chessington;
[8:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Buxton;
[9pm] 'What Not to Wear' - Red Carpet Special;
[10pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Singleton ;
[11pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Chessington;
[11:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Buxton;
[12am] 'What Not to Wear' - Red Carpet Special;
[1am] 'Cash in the Attic' - Singleton;
[2am] 'House Invaders' - South Littleton;
[2:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - Weston Super Mare;
[3am] 'Changing Rooms' - Chessington;
[3:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - Buxton;
[4am] 'What Not to Wear' - Red Carpet Special;
[5am] 'Cash in the Attic' - Singleton;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'West Wing', 'Queer Eye', a FRESH 'Showbiz Moms & Dads', a
FRESH 'Queer Eye', and another 'West Wing'.
Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', 'Crank Yankers', 'Insomniac', 'South Park', 'Chappelle's Show',
and another 'Crank Yankers'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Mark Ruffalo.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Deep Sea Detectives', 'Tactical To Practical', and 'Wild West Tech'.
IFC -
[6AM] 'IFC Short Film Collection I';
[8AM] 'An Angel At My Table' (1990);
[10:45AM] 'The Poor And The Hungry';
[12:45PM] 'The Trip To Bountiful' (1985);
[2:45PM] 'The Thin Blue Line' (1988);
[4:30PM] 'At The Angelika 83' (2003);
[5PM] 'The Poor And The Hungry';
[7PM] 'The Trip To Bountiful' (1985);
[9PM] 'Dinner For Five';
[9:30PM] 'Rocked With Gina Gershon Episode 2';
[10PM] 'All Over The Guy' (2001);
[11:45PM] 'Time Code';
[1:30AM] 'Happy Accidents' (2000);
[3:30AM] 'All Over The Guy' (2001);
[5:15AM] 'Running With The Bulls' (2002). (ALL TIMES EDT)
SciFi has 'Stargate SG-1', the movie 'Deep Core', and another 'Stargate SG-1'.
Sundance -
[5:45AM] 'Margarita Happy Hour' (Feature);
[7:30AM] 'Chasing Buddha' (Documentary);
[8:30AM] 'Hofmann's Potion' (Documentary);
[9:30AM] 'Shorts Program 110' (Short);
[10:30AM] 'Bartleby' (Feature);
[12PM] 'Ed's Next Move' (Feature);
[1:30PM] 'The Sleepy Time Gal' (Feature);
[3:10PM] 'Everyday Something: true stories from the 21st century' (Short);
[3:30PM] 'Hofmann's Potion' (Documentary);
[4:30PM] 'Shorts Program 110' (Short);
[5:30PM] 'The Slaughter Rule' (Feature);
[7:30PM] 'The Hired Hand' (Feature);
[9PM] 'Anatomy Of A Scene: The United States of Leland' (Original Production);
[9:30PM] 'Edge Codes: The Art, History and Science of Motion Picture Editing' (Documentary);
[11PM] 'Look Out Haskell, It's Real: The Making of Medium Cool' (Documentary);
[12AM] 'The Purified' (Documentary);
[1:10AM] 'Late Marriage' (World Cinema);
[2:50AM] 'Detective Fiction' (Feature);
[4:30AM] 'The Slaughter Rule' (Feature). (ALL TIMES EDT)
TCM spends the day paying tribute to
Harold Lloyd, who would have been
111 years old today.
[6:30am] 'Quo Vadis' (1951);
[9:30am] 'Why Worry?' (1923) SILENT ;
[10:30am] 'The Milky Way' (1936);
[12pm] 'Harold Lloyd: The Third Genius' (Episode 1) (1989);
[1pm] 'Harold Lloyd: The Third Genius' (Episode 2) (1989);
[2pm] 'Harold Lloyd's Funny Side of Life' (1963);
[3:30pm] 'Bumping Into Broadway' (1919) SILENT ;
[4pm] 'Number, Please?' (1920) SILENT ;
[4:30pm] 'An Eastern Westerner' (1920) SILENT ;
[5pm] 'Now or Never' (1921) SILENT ;
[5:45pm] 'Among Those Present' (1921) SILENT ;
[7pm] 'Grandma's Boy' (1922) SILENT ;
[8pm] 'All Mine to Give' (1956);
[10pm] 'Gallant Bess' (1946);
[12am] 'Madame Bovary' (1949);
[2am] 'Escape From Crime' (1942);
[3am] 'Steel Against The Sky' (1941);
[4:15am] 'Rita' (2003);
[5:30 am] 'Festival of Shorts #29' (2000). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Wednesday - 04/21
TCM pays tribute to
Anthony Quinn, who was born on this day in 1915.
[6am] 'MGM Parade Show #23' (1955);
[6:30am] 'Back To Bataan' (1945);
[8:30am] 'China Sky' (1945);
[10:15am] 'Lust For Life' (1956);
[12:30pm] 'Requiem For A Heavyweight' (1962);
[2:15pm] 'Guns For San Sebastian' (1968);
[4:15pm] 'The Shoes of the Fisherman' (1968);
[7pm] 'Private Screenings: Anthony Quinn' (1999);
[8pm] 'They Died With Their Boots On' (1941);
[10:30pm] 'Hawaii' (1966);
[2am] 'The Last Emperor' (1987);
[5:45am] 'Khartoum' (1966). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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Meyer Berman, left, shows former President Bill Clinton a copy of Bob Woodward's book 'Plan Attack' after a panel discussion on 'Racing the Clock: The Quest to End the Israeli-Palestinian Conflict,' Monday, April 19, 2004, at New York's Waldorf Astoria.
Photo by Diane Bondareff
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The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
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Plans Political Essay Contest
MTV
If you're a young voter with a way with words, the Democrats and Republicans want you for their national conventions. The two parties joined cable's MTV on Monday in announcing separate essay contests to choose two people to speak at the Democratic convention in Boston in July and the Republican gathering in New York in August.
The Republican National Convention contest, called "Stand Up and Holla!," invites voters ages 18-24 to submit a short essay that answers the question, "Why is the president's call for community service important and how have you demonstrated it?"
The Democratic contest asks its applicants to describe why politics is important to the younger generation.
The essay contests are part of MTV's 12-year-old "Choose or Lose" campaign, which aims to get 20 million people ages 18-30 to the polls this November.
MTV
Democratic National Convention
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Character Loses Leg in Iraq
'Doonesbury'
A main character in the "Doonesbury" comic strip will lose a leg while fighting in Iraq, one of two strips published this week that feature soldiers getting injured in the war.
In Monday's "Doonesbury," B.D., a football coach-turned-soldier, was injured after being reactivated in the Army at the end of 2002, following a losing football season.
Later this week, he will wake up to find his left leg amputated, according to Universal Press Syndicate, the strip's distributor.
'Doonesbury'
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Nobel Peace Prize winners from left, Iranian professor and human-rights activist Shirin Ebadi, the Dalai Lama and retired South African Archbishop Desmond Tutu leave the stage after all three were presented with University of British Columbia Honorary Doctor of Law degrees in Vancouver, Monday, April 19, 2004.
Photo by Richard Lam
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Tiny Films Part of Film Festival
Roger Ebert
A film that cost less than $200 to make is among the attractions at Roger Ebert's sixth annual Overlooked Film Festival.
This year's festival, which opens Wednesday, includes a variety of big-budget movies and independent works such as "Tarnation" by Jonathan Caouette, which cost $187 to make on a computer.
Ebert, film critic for the Chicago Sun-Times, started the festival in 1999 to call attention to movies he feels have been forgotten or ignored by audiences, critics and distributors.
Roger Ebert
Ebertfest
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60th Album Goes Platinum
Barbra Streisand
Barbra Streisand's 60th album, "The Movie Album," has been certified platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America, her publicist said.
It is Streisand's 30th album to gain that distinction, according to a statement Friday from Guttman Associates.
Barbra Streisand
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Celebrate 30 Years
Penn & Teller
It's been 30 years, but Penn & Teller have no intention of pulling a disappearing act. The duo is performing their boisterous, occasionally macabre magic act six days a week at the Rio All-Suite Hotel & Casino in Las Vegas, and are planning a video version of the show. Penn has a novel coming out this spring. Teller, the small, silent partner, recently wrote a memoir about his parents.
Also, the second season of their trickster-exposing TV program is on Showtime, with a title that's an expletive for "nonsense!"
The two began working together after a mutual friend introduced them. Teller was teaching Latin and Penn had just graduated from clown college.
For a lot more, Penn & Teller
Penn and Teller
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In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
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Six New TV Series in June
Fox
Fox on Monday announced an aggressive summer television schedule with six fresh series starting in June - including the return of Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie in "The Simple Life 2."
Three new series will air on Wednesdays, including "The Simple Life 2." Hilton and Richie were filmed making a cross-country trip in a trailer, without their cell phones, cash or credit cards. Dogs Tinkerbell and Honey Child will be along for the ride.
"Quintuplets," with Andy Richter as the father of 15-year-old quints, and "Method & Red," an update of "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air" with rappers Method Man and Redman living in a gated community, are the other Wednesday entries.
"North Shore" is about the young workers at a luxury hotel in Hawaii. "The Jury," from Barry Levinson and Tom Fontana, recreates a crime through the deliberations of jurors.
Another Mark Burnett reality series, "Casino," about life in a Las Vegas hotel, rounds out the new schedule.
Fox
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Actress Jessica Lange, third from right, looks at art done by children at the Street Artists Project in Mexico City on Monday April 19, 2004. Some of the children who are at this shelter have suffered abuse or family neglect. Lange, who is a UNICEF Goodwill Ambassador, is in Mexico to press lawmakers at the Inter-Parliamentary Union to commit themselves to protect children from violence, abuse and exploitation.
Photo by Eduardo Verdugo
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Signing Off December 1
Tom Brokaw
Tom Brokaw, the face of "NBC Nightly News" since 1983, will retire on Dec. 1, the network said on Monday.
The next evening, Brian Williams, who was named as Brokaw's successor in May 2002, is expected to take over as anchor and managing editor of the show. Williams joined NBC News in 1993.
Tom Brokaw
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Awarded British CBE
Harvey Weinstein
Harvey Weinstein, the co-chairman and founder of Miramax Films, has been made a Commander of the British Empire (CBE) in recognition of his contribution to the British film industry.
The award, conferred by Queen Elizabeth II, was announced Monday by the British Consul-General in New York.
Harvey Weinstein
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Piano Sells Below Estimate
Elton John
An antique piano formerly used by Elton John and pictured on an album cover, was auctioned off over the weekend for $164,500, well below the minimum estimate of $300,000, organizers said on Sunday.
The other big seller at Heritage Galleries' auction in Dallas on Saturday was a guitar used by late Nirvana singer Kurt Cobain. It sold for $117,500, down from a minimum estimate of $250,000. (All sale prices include a 17.5 percent buyer's fee.)
Elton John
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Ending 36 Year Gig
Bobby Short
Bobby Short, who became an elegant institution with his performances at the swanky Cafe Carlyle for 36 years, will end his run on New Year's Eve.
"I'm not retiring. I intend to keep on working," Short, 79, told The Associated Press by phone Monday. "But the drill of five nights a week for 20 weeks at a time is something that no longer appeals to me. It's too much."
Bobby Short
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Formerly 'The Vidiot'
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Sorry for Mugging Confusion
Kevin Spacey
Kevin Spacey apologized for confusion arising from his report to police that he'd been mugged. The Oscar-winning actor made, then retracted, the complaint after a weekend encounter in a London park that left him dazed and bleeding.
Spacey said he was walking his dog when a young man approached him with "some sob story about somebody needing to call their mother and could they use my phone.
"It was such a good con, that I actually dialed the number myself and when somebody answered I then finally handed (over) my phone," said Spacey, who won Academy Awards for his roles in 1995's "The Usual Suspects" and 1999's "American Beauty."
"And this kid took off and I was so upset I ran after him."
Kevin Spacey
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Mounted guildsmen ride around the burning "Boeoegg" during the traditional "Sechselaeuten" spring festival Monday, April 19, 2004 in Zurich, Switzerland.
Photo by Steffen Schmidt
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Celebrating 35th on the Road
ZZ Top
ZZ Top will celebrate its 35th anniversary with a North American summer tour.
The shows begin June 25 at Kay Yaeger Coliseum in Wichita Falls, Texas, and will include visits to arenas, amphitheaters, fairs, festivals and casinos.
ZZ Top, which boasts founding members Frank Beard, Billy F. Gibbons and Dusty Hill, claims to be the longest running "intact" road show in rock history.
ZZ Top
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Appeals Homicide Sentence
Trintignant Family
The family of a French actress beaten to death by her rock star boyfriend in Lithuania is appealing against his eight-year jail sentence, their lawyer said on Monday.
Marie Trintignant, a member of one of France's most famous acting families, died last August of head injuries sustained during a fight in Vilnius where she was shooting a film. She was aged 41 and mother of four children.
"My client is exercising her right to appeal," the Trintignant family's lawyer Kazimieras Motieka told Reuters, saying Trintignant's mother Nadine wanted the jail sentence raised to 10 years.
Trintignant Family
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Media Firms, Artists Back
Bono
Media companies, artists and civil rights activists joined together Monday to protest a ruling last month by the Federal Communications Commissions against the musician Bono of the group U2 for his use of an expletive on last year's Golden Globes broadcast.
CBS owner Viacom Inc. participated in the challenge, as did Fox Entertainment Group Inc., the American Civil Liberties Union, the Screen Actors Guild, the comedians Penn & Teller and Margaret Cho, and others.
Last month the FCC commissioners overruled their staff and declared that Bono's use of an expletive while accepting an award on television was indecent and profane. However, they did not impose a fine since they had never before said that practically any use of the expletive violated its rules.
In its ruling, the FCC rejected earlier findings that occasional use of that word was acceptable. The FCC's own enforcement bureau had ruled last October that Bono's remarks weren't obscene because they didn't describe a sexual act.
Bono
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Drops Amnesty Program
Recording Industry
The music industry's trade group has ended a program that offered to prevent people from being sued by recording companies if the downloaders admitted to illegally sharing music online, according to court documents.
The Recording Industry Association of America launched the "Clean Slate" program in September, when it embarked on a strategy of suing individual computer users for copyright infringement.
In papers filed Friday, attorneys for the RIAA asked the court to dismiss the lawsuit on grounds that the case is now moot, because the trade group dropped the program earlier this month.
Recording Industry
Electronic Frontier Foundation
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Last Sketch for Sale at $325,000
John Lennon
A signed sketch believed to be the last thing John Lennon wrote before being assassinated about half an hour later is on sale for $325,000, the former switchboard operator to whom he gave it said on Monday.
Rabiah Seminole said she was working at the Record Plant recording studios in Manhattan on Dec. 8, 1980 when Lennon left the building with Yoko Ono at about 10:25 p.m.
She asked him for an autograph and he dashed off a sketch of two faces, signing it "for Ribeah, love, John." Ono also signed it.
John Lennon
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Painting Breaks Scottish Auction Record
Jack Vettriano
Popular Scottish painter Jack Vettriano -- a self-taught former coalminer long derided by highbrow art critics -- commanded an Old Master price at a record-setting auction on Monday.
Sotheby's said an unidentified bidder had bought Vettriano's "The Singing Butler" for 744,800 pounds ($1.35 million) at auction in Edinburgh -- the most ever paid for a painting in Scotland or for any work by a Scottish artist.
The painting, which shows a man and a woman dancing in eveningwear on a beach, is typical of the sort of populist romantic work that has helped Vettriano outsell masters from Rembrandt to Monet in the market for postcards and prints.
Jack Vettriano
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Polar bears Bering and Sedov play in the spring sun at St.Petersburg's Zoo, April 19, 2004. Over 100 polar bears have been born in the St.Petersburg's Zoo in the last 70 years.
Photo by Alexander Demianchuk
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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