Issue #99
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Reader Contribution
A Rumor
Here's a rumor found in today's Charleston Gazette
BEFORE President Bush visited Huntington last week, an advance agent
reportedly went to Marshall University to arrange an assembly hall. A story
being passed around says the agent chose a large building but was
horrified when he learned that its named for Sen. Robert C. Byrd, Bushs
fiercest denouncer in Congress. Hastily, the agent chose a second building
only to learn that it, too, is named for Byrd. So the Bush rally was held
elsewhere.
Thanks, Mr. Hawk!
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
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Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Beautiful weather, peculiar day.
So, who knew I was gonna have an adventure at the local ER this morning?
Over the weekend I wrote that my throat felt like I'd swallowed a porcupine - well, it progressed to feeling like the porcupine's quills had been mixed with ground glass and then gargled.
The orderlies & nurses were great, but the doctor, well, imperious & stupid is never a winning combination.
After going over my drug allergies, she still wrote prescriptions for 2 (of 3) meds that would have sent me back to the ER, only in worse shape.
Anyway, I'm crankier than usual & still feel like shit.
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS opens the night with a FRESH 'Navy NCIS', followed by a FRESH
'Century City', then a FRESH 'Judging Amy'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Bruce Willis and Renee Askins.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, Robert Klein, and Faith Salie.
NBC starts the night with a FRESH 'Whoopi', followed by a FRESH 'Happy Family', then a
FRESH 'Frasier', followed by a FRESH 'Scrubs', then a FRESH
'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Leno are Cedric the Entertainer, Nia Vardalos, and Nappy Roots.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Johnny Knoxville, Elisha Cuthbert, and the Distillers.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Tim Robbins and Puddle of Mudd.
ABC begins the night with a FRESH '8 Simple Rules', followed by a FRESH 'I'm With Her', then a FRESH
'Jim', followed by a FRESH 'It's All Relative', then a FRESH 'NYPD Blue'.
On a RERUN Jimmy Kimmel (from 3/1/04), are David Spade, Brittany Daniel, and Rich Vos, with guest co-host Tracy Morgan.
The WB offers a RERUN 'Gilmore Girls', followed by a FRESH 'One Tree Hill'.
Faux has a FRESH 'American Idol', followed by a FRESH '24'.
UPN has a FRESH 'One On One', followed by a RERUN 'All Of Us', then a FRESH 'Rock Me Baby', followed by
a RERUN 'Half & Half'.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Biography' (Will Smith), and a 2-hour 'Cold Case Files.
AMC offers the movie 'The Man From Snowy River', 'D.O.A.', then the movie 'A Kiss Before Dying'.
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Springthorpe;
[7pm] 'House Invaders' - Longford, Coventry;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Stately Home;
[8pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Shoreham;
[8:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Thame;
[9pm] 'What Not to Wear' - Mick Brown;
[9:30pm] 'What Not to Wear' - Jane Anderson;
[10pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Corry-Thomas;
[11pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Shoreham;
[11:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Thame;
[12am] 'What Not to Wear' - Mick Brown;
[12:30am] 'What Not to Wear' - Jane Anderson;
[1am] 'Cash in the Attic' - Corry-Thomas;
[2am] 'House Invaders' - Longford, Coventry;
[2:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - Stately Home;
[3am] 'Changing Rooms' - Shoreham;
[3:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - Thame;
[4am] 'What Not to Wear' - Mick Brown;
[4:30am] 'What Not to Wear' - Jane Anderson;
[5am] 'Cash in the Attic' - Corry-Thomas;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'West Wing', 'Queer Eye', 'Significant Others', another 'Significant Others',
and a FRESH 'Queer Eye'.
Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', 'Crank Yankers', 'Insomniac', 'South Park', 'Chappelle's Show', and
another 'Crank Yankers'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Matthew Perry.
History has 'Pyramids: Majesty & Mystery', a FRESH 'True Crime', another
FRESH 'True Crime', then a FRESH 'Wild West Tech'.
IFC -
[3:45PM] 'Darien Gap' (1996);
[5:30PM] 'At The Angelika 83' (2003);
[6PM] 'Girl Under The Waves' (2001);
[7:30PM] 'The Big One' (1997);
[9PM] 'Dinner For Five 21';
[9:30PM] 'Edward II' (1991);
[11:15PM] 'Jack's Back' (1988);
[1AM] 'Mifune' (1999);
[2:45AM] 'Edward II' (1991);
[4:15AM] 'Mifune(1999). (ALL TIMES EDT)
SciFi has the movie 'The Beast', followed by 'Mad Mad House'.
Sundance -
[3:30PM] 'Bread and Tulips' (Feature);
[5:30PM] 'Pumpkin' (Feature);
[7:30PM] 'The Trials of Henry Kissinger' (Documentary);
[9PM] 'Tanner '88: The Boiler Room' (Short);
[9:30PM] 'Roger Dodger' (Feature);
[11:15PM] 'Hidden' (Short);
[11:30PM] 'Personal Velocity: Three Portraits' (Feature);
[1AM] 'Chain Camera' (Documentary);
[1:30AM] 'Fresh' (Feature);
[4:25AM] 'Riders' (Feature). (ALL TIMES EDT)
TCM celebrates the wonderful actor,
Walter Huston on what would have been his 120th
birthday, then features James Cagney, tough guy, all night.
[7:00 am] 'Night Court' (1932);
[9:00 am] 'Ann Vickers' (1933);
[10:30 am] 'Keep 'Em Rolling' (1934);
[11:45 am] 'Dodsworth' (1936);
[1:30 pm] 'December 7th' (1943);
[3:00 pm] 'Mission To Moscow' (1943);
[5:30 pm] 'Duel In The Sun' (1946);
[8:00 pm] 'Mister Roberts' (1955);
[10:15 pm] 'Each Dawn I Die' (1939);
[12:00 am] 'The Public Enemy' (1931);
[1:30 am] 'The Roaring Twenties' (1939);
[3:30 am] 'A Midsummer Night's Dream' (1935). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Members of the 'Funk Brothers,' Rob Babbitt, Joe Hunter, Uriel Jones, Eddie Willis and Jack Ashford, who were the house band for the recordings of Motown artists, pose backstage at the taping of an ABC television network special 'Motown 45,' in Los Angeles April 4, 2004. The group performed at the special, which honors the 45th anniversary of the music of Motown artists which had countless hits in from the 1960's and onward. The special will be telecast on ABC May 3.
Photo by Gene Blevins
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Appearing in Victoria's Secret Ads
Bob Dylan
New, from Victoria's Secret: the MiracleBob? Bob Dylan appears in a new series of commercials for Victoria's Secret, his grizzled face intercut with shots of model Adriana Lima cavorting though Venice in a bra, panties and spike heels.
Dylan's song "Love Sick," from his Grammy-winning 1997 album "Time Out of Mind," provides the musical backdrop for the spot, which airs in 15-, 30- and 60-second versions.
It promotes a new line of lingerie, the "Angels" collection which explains the wings on Lima's back as she prances across a palazzo near a Venetian canal.
Bob Dylan
The daughters of the late singer and actress Judy Garland, singer and actress Liza Minnelli (R) and singer Lorna Luft pose at a party celebrating the 60th anniversary of the musical film 'Meet In St. Louis' and the release by Warner Home Video of a special edition DVD set of 'Meet Me in St. Louis' which starred Garland, at special screening of the film in Los Angeles April 4, 2004.
Photo by Eric Charbonneau
Juno Awards
Alanis Morissette
Not another wardrobe malfunction ... feisty rock singer Alanis Morissette poked fun at Janet Jackson's notorious breast-baring episode by stripping on stage to reveal cartoonish fake nipples and pubic hair.
Morissette, hosting Canada's annual music awards, said the stunt, in which she appeared in a provocative skin-hugging body-suit was intended to expose US "censorship."
The singer, renowned for her angst-ridden lyrics, told the audience at the Juno Awards in Edmonton "we live in a land where we still think the human body is beautiful and we're not afraid of the female breast."
Morissette then blasted US radio stations which have forced her to change the word "asshole" in one of her songs.
Alanis Morissette
Finds Nickelodeon Too Violent
New Zealand
Children's cable station Nickelodeon, home of SpongeBob SquarePants and the Rugrats, has been dubbed New Zealand's most violent TV channel in a newly released report.
The Center for Communications Research at Auckland University of Technology found the level of violence across New Zealand's free-to-air and pay TV channels to be higher than in 1995, when the last study was done, but comparable to violence levels in the early 1990s. The report, published last week, was commissioned by the government in 2002 to advise on whether TV violence should be of concern and if regulatory tools were adequate.
Under its definition of violence -- actions that caused physical harm to a person or cartoon character -- Nickelodeon had the highest recorded level over a full week's viewing: 13 acts an hour. The channel with the lowest level of violence was public broadcaster TV One, with two acts.
New Zealand
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Leaving 'NYPD Blue'
Charlotte Ross
Actress Charlotte Ross is leaving "NYPD Blue." She has been on maternity leave since giving birth to her son last month.
Her husband and manager Michael Goldman told TV Guide Online that the actress, who has played Det. Connie McDowell on the hit show since 1991, won't be back in the fall for the final season.
That could leave Det. Andy Sipowicz, played by Dennis Franz, without a wife. Another option would be that Sipowicz would still be married to Connie but we won't see her.
Charlotte Ross
Singer Chrissie Hynde performs at the Billie and Me tribute concert at the Barbican Theatre, central London, Monday April 5, 2004. The event celebrates the life and music of jazz legend Billie Holiday.
Photo by Myung Jung Kim
No Retirement Plans
Dolly Parton
Dolly Parton may have spent four decades in the music business but she says she has no plans to retire.
"I'll be like Bob Hope, touring when I'm 100," the 58-year-old Sevierville native said as she opened her amusement park on the weekend. "I love being busy."
"I will never retire," Parton said. "I hope to fall dead in the middle of some great event or some great song I'm singing. Then they'll say, 'Oh well, she went happy and doing what she loves'."
Dolly Parton
Won't Have to Serve More Time
Diana Ross
Diana Ross, who served her sentence for an Arizona drunken-driving conviction in Greenwich, Conn., won't have to return to Tucson to spend more time in jail.
On Monday, a city judge rescinded his order calling for the 60-year-old singer to return to Tucson to serve 48 consecutive hours in the Pima County Jail.
Diana Ross
Cancelled
Wonderfalls
The Fox TV fantasy-drama Wonderfalls dried up in less than a month.
The series, set in Niagara Falls, N.Y., but shot on the Canadian side of the border as well as in Toronto, was cancelled because of low ratings. It had its final showing last week.
Wonderfalls
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Given WW II Award
Mickey Rooney
Actor Mickey Rooney received a special award at the National D-Day Memorial Sunday for his nearly two years of service in Europe during World War II.
Before visiting the D-Day Memorial Sunday, Rooney and his wife, Jan, renewed their wedding vows in a private ceremony performed by the Rev. Jerry Falwell. The couple has been married for more than 25 years; she is Rooney's eighth wife.
Mickey Rooney
Flowers, candles and artwork commemorating Kurt Cobain are placed on a park bench during an informal memorial at Viretta Park in Seattle, Washington, April 5, 2004. Today marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Cobain, who was the lead singer and guitarist of the influential 1990s alternative band, Nirvana. Dozens of music fans gathered at the park adjacent to the house where in 1994, Cobain was found dead. The tiny neighborhood park has since become a continuous location for informal memorials on behalf of Cobain.
Photo by Anthony P. Bolante
New DVD Collection
Pink Panther
Arguably, Insp. Clouseau has found a place in the pantheon of Hollywood comedy icons, right up there with Chaplin's little tramp, Laurel and Hardy and the Marx Brothers.
Created almost by accident by Peter Sellers for Blake Edwards' 1963 comedy The Pink Panther, the bumbling French detective went on to star in seven sequels. The Pink Panther Collection, MGM's patent-leather-bound set of five Sellers-Edwards collaborations (plus that unforgettable Mancini score) is sheer comedy delight, with a sixth disc reserved for the usual making-of documentary, plus a half-dozen of the panther's cartoon shorts.
The second film in the series, A Shot in the Dark, is widely considered to be the best in the series, with the naive Clouseau unwittingly at large in a nudist camp as one of the screen's funniest scenes ever. But curiously, number three, 1975's Return of the Pink Panther, is missing. Instead the set jumps ahead to number four (Pink Panther Strikes Again), five (Revenge of The Pink Panther) and the awful Trail of the Pink Panther, which Edwards cobbled together from various outakes and leftovers after Sellers died. There were still two more post-Sellers entries that have been mercifully ignored and now, Steve Martin is weighing in with a modern remake.
Anyway, although no mention is made, it seems there was a rights issue with Return, which is owned by Sir Lew Grade's ITC, not Edwards or MGM.
Pink Panther
Letter to Auction
James Joyce
A tentative letter from Irish wordsmith James Joyce offering "Dubliners" to publisher William Heinemann in September 1905 goes under the hammer Wednesday with a price tag of up to $54,880.
The letter is part of a vast collection of travel documents, books and manuscripts being auctioned Wednesday and Thursday by Christie's in London.
Described as one of the most important collections of the 20th century, it was amassed by Quentin Keynes -- great grandson of revolutionary naturalist Charles Darwin and nephew of economist John Maynard Keynes.
James Joyce
Gay Marriage Issue
Knights
When David Knight married his boyfriend of 10 years, his parents were not among the mothers and fathers proudly snapping photos and sipping champagne at San Francisco's City Hall. His mother is long gone, dead of cancer when he was 17. And his father, well his father ...
These are precarious times for the gay son of state (CA) Sen. William J. "Pete" Knight, the arch-conservative architect of California's Defense of Marriage Act.
The elder Knight, a 75-year-old Republican being termed out of office this year, is California's most outspoken opponent of marriage for gay and lesbian couples. Since spearheading the 2000 ballot initiative that reinforced California's "one man, one woman" marriage laws, he has used the courts to keep state agencies from granting spousal rights to same-sex couples. His nonprofit group is at the center of the legal challenges to San Francisco's same-sex wedding spree.
The younger, a 42-year-old custom furniture maker in Baltimore, flew to the city with his longtime partner and got married just two days before the California Supreme Court shut down the weddings. The court is considering whether city officials had the authority to contravene state law by sanctioning almost 4,000 gay and lesbian marriages.
David Knight was the only one of the retired Air Force colonel's three sons to follow their father, a record-setting test pilot, into a career as a military pilot. He graduated from the U.S. Air Force Academy and flew jets in the first Persian Gulf War.
For the rest, Knights
Thousands of turtles wait before being free into the Orinoco River in Santa Maria del Orinoco, almost 700 km shouth from Caracas, April 3, 2004. Venezuela's government has established what it believes is a record for releasing an endangered species back into the wild by setting free tens of thousands of protected Arrau turtles into the Orinoco River. Scrambling over each other to reach the Orinoco waters, thousands of palm-sized, green turtles were released over the weekend from a sandy island on the huge river in the latest part of a 10-year program to preserve the species.
Photo by Jorge Silva
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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