Bartcop Entertainment - Tuesday, 13 January, 2004
Tuesday
13 January, 2004
(Updated Daily)
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Issue #88
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
Issue #88
is brought to you by
The Mars
Epidemic
I'd like to buy a yacht and explore the oceans of
the earth. Hell, I think EVERYBODY should own a yacht. But first I've got to pay
my rent and utilities. First I've got to feed and educate my children. First
I've got to pay our medical bills. A yacht is an extravagance. Basic necessities
of life come before extravagances.
Same thing with Mars. I'd love to go to Mars.
Hell, I think EVERYBODY should go to Mars. But first we've got to pay our rent
and utilities. First we've got to feed and educate our children. First we've got
to pay our medical bills. Going to Mars is an extravagance. Basic necessities of
life come before extravagances. Anybody who thinks our country has covered our
basic necessities of life isn't paying attention. Forget Mars till our bills are
paid.
Will No One Rid Me of This
Troublesome Priest?
It's a line uttered by King
Henry II, memorialized in TS Eliot's Murder in the Cathedral, and
variations of it have been used by rulers and despots throughout history. It's
the core of "plausible deniability." When Becket pissed off King Henry II by
excommunicating the archbishop of York, the man who had actually crowned Henry
king, Henry didn't point to one of his knights at the Christmas court at Bures
and say "You, kill Becket."
He said "Will no one rid me of this troublesome priest," so when four of his
knights killed Becket, Henry could honestly say "That's not what I said" and
dishonestly say "That's not what I meant."
Does anybody doubt that Reagan said something like
"Will no one rid me of those troublesome Sandinistas?" so that Oliver North
could honestly testify that Reagan didn't "order" him to trade drugs for arms
for the Contras? That's how presidents give orders these days. Clinton never
asked for a blowjob. He said something like "Will no one rid me of this
troublesome burden in my loins?"
And now comes the proof that our current
nincompoop in chief has used the same tactic. According to just
about everybody, in January of 2001, well before the attacks of September,
speaking of the overthrowing of Saddam Hussein, George W. Bush said to his
cabinet "Go find me a way to do this," which is Texan for "Will no one rid me of
this troublesome Iraqi?"
It's the same backwards thinking of "creation
science," in which the conclusion comes first.
And the answer came quick.
"Hey Dubya, why not lie about WMDs?"
"Good idea."
And it was a good idea. It worked. He got what he
wanted. It's a bell that can't be unrung, even by voting him out of office. Does
anybody really think that voting Bush out of office will get Halliburton out of
Iraq? Remember that real estate on Mars I tried to sell you a while back? Guess
who's trying to sell it to you now?
A billion seconds ago, it was 1959.
A billion minutes ago, Jesus was alive.
A billion hours ago, our ancestors were living in
the Stone Age.
A billion dollars ago was only 8 hours and 20
minutes, at the rate Washington spends it.
I Feel So Much Safer
Now
"The International Bank Activities Reform Commission is
revealing to the general public in the United States that Chat rooms, Bulletin
Boards and Message Boards run by Lycos, Microsoft, and Yahoo such as Raging Bull
and others are being used by government agencies such as the Securities and
Exchange Commission, Comptroller of the Currency, the Federal Reserve Bank, the
FBI, the CIA, Secret Service and the Department of Homeland Security to spy on
Americans without their knowledge.
"Government agents have used the boards for counter
intelligence operations in an attempt to discredit information being
posted by whistle blowers who have been ferreting out government crimes and
wrongdoing with the full knowledge of President Bush and the intelligence
community.
"In many cases, the entire contents of a person's
computer can be siphoned out and transferred to a massive database in Virginia
for further analysis and additional counter intelligence measures."
Philosophy of the Week
"Not a shred of evidence exists in favor
of the idea that life is serious."
- Brendan Gill -
Religious Joke of the
Week
A priest and a rabbi went for a hike one
day. It was very hot. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a
small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and
jumped in the water.
Feeling refreshed, they decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their
"freedom." As they were crossing an open area, who should come along but a group
of schoolboys from town. Unable to get to their clothes in time, the priest
covered his privates and the rabbi covered his face while they ran for cover.
After the schoolboys had left and the men got their clothes back on,
the priest asked the rabbi why he covered his face rather than his
privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation,
it's my face they would recognize."
Dueling Quotes
"[The Bush administration] tried to put more arsenic in the water. We stopped them from
doing it."
"President Bush never 'tried to
put more arsenic in the water.' The controversy began in March 2001 when the
White House withdrew a regulation issued late in the Clinton administration
that had not yet gone into effect. The regulation would have reduced the federal
standard for arsenic in drinking water from 50 parts per billion to 10 parts per
billion by 2006. Environmental Protection Agency administrator Christie Todd
Whitman stated
at the time that EPA would ask expert panels to review the science and consider
a standard of 3-20 parts per billion to go into effect by the original 2006
deadline. After a great deal of criticism, the EPA decided in October
2001 to issue a 10 parts per billion standard - the same as the original
regulation.
"At no point in the controversy
did the administration propose raising the allowable limit of arsenic in
drinking water above the 50 parts per billion standard that had been in effect
since 1942; the controversy centered on how much to reduce that limit.
Nor did the White House repeal a standard that was already being enforced;
Clinton's regulation had not yet gone into effect."
Don't believe what you read. Go here and look at the Bush in 30
Seconds ads. They're all fantastic.
Don't Take My Word For
It
"When you prevent me from doing what I want to do,
that is persecution; but when I prevent you from doing what you want to do, that
is law, order and morals."
- George Bernard Shaw -
"America is at that awkward stage. It's too late
to work within the system, but too early to shoot the bastards."
"Does some fundamental religious belief - say,
that the end of the world is coming soon - influence your policies on the
environment and on nuclear weapons? If not, how do you explain policies that
seem designed to destroy the planet? Seriously, if you had run on a platform of
destroying the Earth, I don't think your policies would be much
different."
"The technique is as follows:
NWO strategists create the Problem by funding, assembling,
and training an 'opposition' group to stimulate turmoil in an established
political power (sovereign country, region, continent, etc.) that they wish to
impinge upon and thus create opposing factions in a conflict that the NWO
themselves maneuvered into existence. In recent decades, so called opposition
groups are usually identified in the media as 'freedom fighters' or
'liberators'.
"At the same time, the
leader of the established political power where the conflict is being
orchestrated is demonized and, on cue, referred to as 'another Hitler' (take
your pick: Saddam Hussein, Milosevic, Kadaffi, etc.). The 'freedom fighters' are
not infrequently assembled from a local criminal element (i.e. KLA, drug
traffickers). In the spirit of true Machiavellian deceit, the same NWO
strategists are equally involved in covertly arming and advising the leader of
the established power as well (the NWO always profits from any armed conflict by
loaning money, arming, and supplying all parties involved in a
war).
"The conflict is drawn to
the world stage by the controlled media outlets with a barrage of photos and
video tape reports of horrific and bloody atrocities suffered by innocent
civilians. The cry goes up 'Something has to be done!' And that is the desired
Reaction.
"The NWO puppeteers then
provide the Solution by sending in UN 'Peace Keepers' (Bosnia)
or a UN 'Coalition Force' (Gulf War) or NATO Bombers and then ground troops
(Kosovo), or the military to 'search for Weapons of Mass Destruction', which of
course are never found. Once installed, the 'peace keepers' never leave. The
idea is to have NWO controlled ground troops in all major countries or strategic
areas where significant resistance to the New World Order takeover is likely to
be encountered."
"CIA operations follow the same recurring script. First,
American business interests abroad are threatened by a popular or democratically
elected leader. The people support their leader because he intends to conduct
land reform, strengthen unions, redistribute wealth, nationalize foreign-owned
industry, and regulate business to protect workers, consumers and the
environment. So, on behalf of American business, and often with their help, the
CIA mobilizes the opposition. First it identifies right-wing groups within the
country (usually the military), and offers them a deal: 'We'll put you in power
if you maintain a favorable business climate for us.' The Agency then hires,
trains and works with them to overthrow the existing government (usually a
democracy). It uses every trick in the book: propaganda, stuffed ballot boxes,
purchased elections, extortion, blackmail, sexual intrigue, false stories about
opponents in the local media, infiltration and disruption of opposing political
parties, kidnapping, beating, torture, intimidation, economic sabotage, death
squads and even assassination. These efforts culminate in a military coup, which
installs a right-wing dictator. The CIA trains the dictators security apparatus
to crack down on the traditional enemies of big business, using interrogation,
torture and murder. The victims are said to be 'communists,' but almost always
they are just peasants, liberals, moderates, labor union leaders, political
opponents and advocates of free speech and democracy. Widespread human rights
abuses follow.
"The ironic thing about all this intervention is that it
frequently fails to achieve American objectives. Often the newly installed
dictator grows comfortable with the security apparatus the CIA has built for
him. He becomes an expert at running a police state. And because the dictator
knows he cannot be overthrown, he becomes independent and defiant of
Washington's will. The CIA then finds it cannot overthrow him, because the
police and military are under the dictator's control, afraid to cooperate with
American spies for fear of torture and execution. The only two options for the
U.S at this point are impotence or war. Examples of this 'boomerang effect'
include the Shah of Iran, General Noriega and Saddam Hussein. The boomerang
effect also explains why the CIA has proven highly successful at overthrowing
democracies, but a wretched failure at overthrowing dictatorships."
"Theatre is life with the dull bits cut
out."
- Alfred Hitchcock -
"Life was better, at first, under the Nazis. The war machine invigorated
the economy - men had jobs again, and enough money to take care of their family.
New building projects were everywhere. The shops were full again - and people
could afford good food, culture, and luxuries. Women could stay home in comfort.
Crime was reduced. Health care improved. It was a rosy scenario - Hitler brought
order and prosperity. His policies won widespread approval because life was
better for most Germans, after the misery of reparations and inflation. The
people liked the idea of removing the worst elements of society - the gypsies,
the homosexuals, the petty criminals - it was easy to elicit support for
prosecuting the corrupt 'evil' people poisoning society. Every family was proud
of their hometown heroes - the sharply-dressed soldiers they contributed to his
program - they were, after all,defending the Fatherland. Continuing a proud
tradition that had been defeated and shamed after WWI, the soldiers gave the
feeling of power and success to the proud families that showered them with
praise and support. Their early victories were reason to celebrate - in spite of
the fact that they faced poorly armed inferior forces - further proof that what
they were doing was right, and the best thing for the country. The news was full
of stories about their bravery and accomplishments against a vile enemy. They
were 'liberating' these countries from their corrupt governments."
"A worldwide epidemic is raging. The cause is a poisonous chemical
sweetener,
aspartame (marketed as
NutraSweet, Equal, Spoonful), the most controversial food additive ever
approved. In reality it is a drug which interacts with other drugs and changes
brain chemistry."
"For years, as a Colorado River guide I told
people how the Grand Canyon was formed over the evolutionary time scale of
millions of years. Then I met the Lord. Now, I have a different view of the
Canyon, which according to a biblical time scale, can't possibly be more than a
few thousand years old."
"Immediately after former
President George H. W. Bush visited Saudi Arabia in 1998, the Saudis slashed
production, sending oil prices up over 225%, oil company profits up over 33,000%
(this is not a typo, we mean 33,000%,) and creating a crisis that moved to the
forefront of the 2000 Presidential Election, helping his son George W. Bush get
elected."
"I have no doubt that Herr Rove has already
received the OK from the shadows to put some nefarious plan into action. Let us
all hope that the Bush Family Evil Empire doesn't decide to go for the jugular
right now and stage a domestic false-flag terrorist event, perhaps involving
weapons of mass destruction, to enact martial law. But just in case, I think
everyone's internal Orange Alert should be raised to Red."
"Even if bin Laden hates all
Americans, he must hate Bush more than, say Dean. Bin Laden knows an
October surprise would help Bush, so why would he help him?"
"Thanks to Osama, Bush is the
most powerful person in all of history. Thanks to Bush, Osama is the most
famous and respected Arab warrior in history. Thanks to Osama, Bush's
family will make a trillion dollars. Thanks to Bush, Osama gets the
Jihad that could unite all Arab countries - under him. The B.F.E.E. certainly knows how to structure a deal."
"If you vote against the war in Iraq, the Bush
administration will do whatever is necessary to get you. There will be severe
ramifications for you..."
"How serious is America's trade
crisis? The best way of framing the answer is that no great power since the last
days of the Ottoman Empire has tried to project so much power abroad from such a
weak economic base at home.
"With the announcement of a worse-than-expected $41.3 billion
U.S. September trade deficit last week, the scene is being set for a major trade
crisis. Certainly the trend is little short of disastrous and, all wishful
thinking in the Bush administration to the contrary, there is virtually no hope
of a turnaround before the 2004 election."
- Eamonn Fingleton: American trade:
hurtling towards the tipping point -
"Mullah Omar of Afghanistan offered to arrest bin Laden
on our behalf and turn him over to a western nation for prosecution; Moslems all
over the world were horrified at the actions of one of their own, a
fundamentalist turned criminal and murderer.
"It would have been so easy to accept Omar's offer,
bring in bin Laden, dismantle the training camps and track down their attendees
and sponsors, and launch an international effort to disassemble and render
impotent al-Qaeda. It probably could have been done in a year or less, given the
intensity of the worldwide empathy for citizens of America and the many other
nations whose people died in the World Trade Center. Over 500 American soldiers
would still be alive, and thousands would not have lost arms, legs, and eyes.
Over 40,000 innocent Afghans and Iraqis would still be alive.
"But Karl Rove knew that George W. Bush had a problem,
and saw in bin Laden the solution... George W. desperately needed his own Lex
Luthor if he was to reinvent himself as Superman.
"Rove and Bush realized that if they simply branded
Osama as the criminal thug that he was - the leader of an obscure Islamic Mafia
with fewer than 20,000 serious members - they wouldn't have the super-villain
they needed for George W. Bush to be seen as a super-hero. If Bush only
authorized a police action, he'd miss a golden opportunity to position himself
as the Battle Commander of The War Against Evil Incarnate.
"And so began the building of the mythos. Osama as evil
genius. Osama as worldwide mastermind."
"A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle."
- Benjamin Franklin -
"Anyone who repudiates idolatry is a Jew."
- Johanan b. Nappaha, Talmud: Megilla, 13a -
"They ain't makin' Jews like Jesus any more. We
don't turn the other cheek the way we done before."
- Kinky Friedman -
"The important thing is to learn a lesson every time you lose."
- John McEnroe -
"Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is
like expecting the bull not to charge you because you are a vegetarian."
- Rabbi Harold Kushner paraphrasing Rabbi Mordechai Kaplann -
"The cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek."
- Joseph Campbell -
"Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you."
- Maori proverb -
"It is human to think wisely and act in an
absurd fashion."
- Anatole France -
"Don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he
bounces when he hits bottom."
- General George S. Patton -
"When the student is ready, the teacher appears."
- Tao saying -
Everything Else
This New York Times review of Wolves of
the Calla finally gives the Stephen King Dark Tower epic the
respect it deserves. It's right up there with Lord of the
Rings.
Here are
some photos
of Gen. Wesley Clark with fugitive war crimes suspect Ratko Mladic that
he'd probably prefer you didn't see.
Cover Versions lists performers
who covered songs by other performers.
Can't decide which recordable DVD format is
the best? Here's a good guide. (Hint:
the most compatible format is DVD-R.)
The U.S. is currently holding about
13,000
prisoners, most of whom have not been
charged.
Don't let this happen to
you
or suffer the
consequences.
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt
ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form. It consists of information from
dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent
all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you
see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send
more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is
unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized
material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I
don't even put my own name on it. If you're still pissed off, hey, it's either
satire or fair
use.
Thanks,
Satan
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'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
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Messages on Britney's Answering Machine
Top Ten
10. "This is the printing company. Your
wedding announcements are ready"
9. "Hey, it's Christina Aguilera, did you
get married or did I?"
8. "It's the printing company. Your
annulment announcements are ready"
7. "Rush Limbaugh here. I'd love to try
whatever you were taking the other
night." <-- hahahaha
6. "So other than the embarrassing
marriage and annulment, how was Vegas?"
5. "Hey, it's Paris. You don't need to
get married to get attention. Just have
sex on the internet."
4. "This is Kenny from high school. I
have a couple of hours free on Thursday
if you want to get married and divorced."
3. "Honey, it's Liza. Next time, instead
of an annulment, hit him with a bottle."
2. "It's Jessica Simpson. Thanks for
making me look like a genius."
1. "Pete Rose here. I bet 10,000 dollars
on your marriage lasting a week"
Top Ten
Thanks, Alex!
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from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
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Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Another spring-like day.
I'm not needed on jury duty in the morning - Woo Hoo!
The niece finally arrived. She wants to go shopping.
Figure there's a trip to Seal Beach in our future.
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS begins the night with a FRESH 'Navy NCIS', followed by a FRESH
'The Guardian', then a FRESH 'Judging Amy'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Jeff Daniels, New York Knicks president Isiah Thomas, and the Shins.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Mandy Moore, Joseph Kahn, and Tom Kenny.
NBC starts the night with a FRESH 'Tracy Morgan', followed by a FRESH 'Whoopi', then a
FRESH 'Frasier', followed by a FRESH 'Happy Family', then a FRESH
'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit' (starts 1 minute before the top of the hour).
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are Donald Trump, Scarlett Johansson, and Dave Matthews.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Tyra Banks and Andy Serkis.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Bill Maher and Howie Day.
ABC starts the night with a FRESH '8 Simple Rules', followed by a FRESH 'I'm With Her', then a RERUN
'Jim', followed by a RERUN 'Less Than Perfect', then a FRESH 'Line Of Fire'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Tony Shalhoub, with this week's guest co-host Enrique Iglesias.
The WB offers the movie 'Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me'.
Faux has a FRESH 1-hour 'Simple Life', followed by a FRESH '24'.
UPN has a FRESH 'One On One', followed by a FRESH 'All Of Us', then the Season Premiere
of 'America's Next Top Model'.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Biography' (David Koresh), and a 2-hour 'Cold Case Files'.
AMC offers the movie 'Diamonds Are Forever', followed by the movie 'Live & Let Die', then the movie 'Smokey & The Bandit II'.
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Hinton;
[7pm] 'House Invaders' - Cheshunt;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Hull;
[8pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Episode 2;
[9pm] 'Ground Force' - Poplar;
[9:30pm] 'Ground Force' - Newcastle;
[10pm] 'Ground Force America' - Sarasota;
[11pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Episode 2;
[12am] 'Ground Force' - Poplar;
[12:30am] 'Ground Force' - Newcastle;
[1am] 'Ground Force America' - Sarasota;
[2am] 'House Invaders' - Cheshunt;
[2:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - Hull;
[3am] 'Ground Force' - Poplar;
[3:30am] 'Ground Force' - Newcastle;
[4am] 'Ground Force America' - Sarasota;
[5am] 'Cash in the Attic' - Episode 2; and
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EST)
Bravo has 'West Wing', the 2-hour Series Finale of 'Celebrity Poker Showdown', and 'Queer Eye'.
Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', 'Crank Yankers', 'Insomniac', 'South Park', 'Crank Yankers', and another 'Crank Yankers'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is TBA.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Deep Sea Detectives', 'Tactical To Practical', and 'Modern Marvels'.
SciFi has 'Beyond Belief', another 'Beyond Belief', followed by the movie 'Retroactive'.
TCM celebrates the mostly forgotten
Kay Francis (today would have been her 98th birthday) all day, and then pays tribute to
deranged men in power all night.
[6am] 'Transgression' (1931);
[7:15am] 'Street of Women' (1932);
[8:30am] 'Man Waanted' (1932);
[9:45am] 'Mary Stevens, M.D.' (1933);
[11am] 'Storm At Daybreak' (1933);
[12:30pm] 'The Goose And The Gander' (1935);
[1:45pm] 'I Found Stella Parish' (1935);
[3:15pm] 'Secrets Of An Actress' (1938);
[4:30pm] 'King Of The Underworld' (1939);
[6pm] 'It's A Date' (1940);
[8pm] 'The Russians are Coming, the Russians are Coming' (1966);
[10:15pm] 'Dr. Strangelove Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The Bomb' (1963);
[12:15am] 'The Great Dictator' (1940);
[2:30am] 'Gabriel Over The White House' (1933);
[4am] 'The Best Man' (1964). (ALL TIMES EST)
Wednesday - 01/14
TCM celebrates one of my favorite character actors,
William Bendix (who would have been 97 today), all day, then
spends the night with Katharine Hepburn and
Spencer Tracy.
[6am] 'One, Two, Three' (1961);
[8am] 'The Time Of Your Life' (1948);
[10am] 'The Big Steal' (1950);
[11:30am] 'Gambling House' (1951);
[1pm] 'Blackbeard the Pirate' (1952);
[3pm] 'A Girl In Every Port' (1952);
[4:30pm] 'Macao' (1952);
[6pm] 'Boys' Night Out' (1962);
[8pm] 'Adam's Rib' (1949);
[10pm] 'Guess Who's Coming to Dinner' (1967);
[12am] 'Pat And Mike' (1952);
[2am] 'Woman Of The Year' (1942);
[4am] 'Without Love' (1945). (ALL TIMES EST)
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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The cast of the drama television series 'Joan of Arcadia' (L-R) Jason Ritter, Amber Tamblyn, Joe Mantegna , Mary Steenburgen and Michael Welch pose back stage after winning the favorite new television dramatic series award at the 30th annual People's Choice Awards in Pasadena, California January 11, 2004.
Photo by Fred Prouser
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The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
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Sets 'Indecision' Plans
'Daily Show'
Comedy Central has high hopes this year for "The Daily Show With Jon Stewart" because of its coverage plans for the presidential election.
"Daily" will have correspondents in New Hampshire this month for the primaries. The series also will maintain a presence at the Republican and Democratic conventions as well as present a live one-hour election special.
During the Television Critics' Assn. press tour, Stewart discussed the rising profile of "Daily" but scoffed at the notion that the series has become a genuine source of news.
"Our responsibility is to be the smartest, funniest show we could possibly be," he said. "We have no delusions of importance."
'Daily Show'
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Super Bowl AIDS Spotlight Scrapped
Bono
U2 frontman Bono's hopes for a mention of the global AIDS crisis during the Super Bowl halftime show were shot down last week. According to an article in Friday's (January 9) New York Daily News, National Football League Commissioner Paul Tagliabue reportedly rejected the idea, on the grounds that the halftime show was meant for entertainment, and not to promote causes. Bono had been meeting with NFL officials on and off for two years.
In 2003, he and Jennifer Lopez recorded a song he wrote, called "An American Prayer," which addressed the African AIDS epidemic. He proposed that the two sing the song at the game in Houston on February 1, and secured the approval of MTV executives. MTV is producing this year's halftime extravaganza.
NFL spokesman Brian McCarthy told the News, "We simply decided that we were going to have our halftime show, and we were going to deliver, as we do annually, an extremely entertaining halftime show...we don't believe it's appropriate to focus on a single issue."
Bono
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Virgin Atlantic boss Sir Richard Branson drives a Gibbs Aquada at this year's London International Boat Show in the River Thames east London, Monday Jan. 12, 2004. The Virgin boss was at the London Boat Show being held at the nearby Excel exhibition centre to take delivery of the 150,000 pound (US$ 278,000) British-build Aquada, which can travel at 100mph (160 kmph) on land and 30mph (48 kmph) on water, and promptly announced that he would use the new vehicle to set a record for crossing the English Channel
Photo by Johnny Green
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SCOTUS Avoids Comic Book Fight
'Spawn'
The Supreme Court sidestepped Monday a brawl between former professional hockey player Tony Twist and a comic strip creator who named a violent mafia character after him.
Twist claims that the character in the "Spawn" comic series hurt his image and cost him endorsements. The high court rejected without comment an appeal from "Spawn" creator Todd McFarlane, who argued that his work was free speech.
McFarlane had a team of Hollywood backers, including Michael Crichton, creator of the television series "ER;" Larry David, co-creator of "Seinfeld;" novelists Scott Turow and Jeremiah Healy; and actor-comedian Harry Shearer from "The Simpsons."
They urged the court to use the case to clarify free-speech protections for artists, who routinely use the names of famous figures in their works.
'Spawn'
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Will End Its Run
'Frasier'
After some brief talk of keeping the show going for a 12th season next fall, NBC said Monday that its five-time Emmy-winning comedy, "Frasier," will call it quits in May.
This was widely assumed to be its last season, but in recent months Kelsey Grammer, who has portrayed the high-strung psychologist Frasier Crane for 20 years since the character originated on "Cheers," had said he was open to continuing.
NBC was paying Paramount, the show's producers, an estimated $5.2 million per show licensing fee. As with most long-running shows, costs were mounting and there was discussion of Grammer taking a pay cut to continue another season.
'Frasier'
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UPDATED FOR 2004!
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
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Returning All-Stars
'Survivor'
Get ready to welcome favorite "Survivor" castaways for a rematch on the upcoming "Survivor: All-Stars" competition.
The chosen 18, representing all seven of CBS' past "Survivor" seasons, were announced Monday during the network's "Early Show." They face off when the hit reality-challenge series returns for its new edition after the Super Bowl telecast on Feb. 1.
The contestants are:
_ Richard Hatch, winner of the original "Survivor: Pulau Tiga," along with Rudy Boesch, Sue Hawk and Jenna Lewis.
_ Tina Wesson, winner of "Survivor: The Australian Outback," as well as her runner-up, Colby Donaldson, and Amber Brkich, Jerri Manthey and Alicia Calaway.
_ Ethan Zohn, winner of "Survivor: Africa," plus Lex van den Berghe and Tom Buchanan.
_ From "Survivor: Marquesas," Kathy Vavrick-O'Brien and Rob Mariano.
_ From "Survivor: Thailand," Shii Ann Huang.
_ Jenna Morasca, winner of "Survivor: The Amazon," and Rob Cesternino.
_ Rupert Boneham, from "Survivor: Pearl Islands."
Breaking with tradition, the 18 contestants will be broken into three tribes, not the usual two.
'Survivor'
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Former sumo wrestler Konishiki appears with Chie Iijima, for a press conference to announce their marriage at a Tokyo hotel Monday, Jan. 12, 2004 after Konishiki registered his marriage to the 28-year-old former medical worker Jan. 7. Konishiki, a native of Hawaii, who was the first foreign-born sumo wrestler to attain the second-highest rank of ozeki, has taken up a career as a TV celebrity in Japan since retiring from sumo in 1997.
Photo by Chiaki Tsukumo
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Honorary Technical Awards
Oscars
A pioneer in robotic-camera operations and a company that makes digital-audio systems to edit movie soundtracks will receive honorary Academy Awards.
Oscar statuettes will be presented to audio company Digidesign and to Bill Tondreau of Kuper Controls at the scientific and technical awards ceremony Feb. 14, which precedes the main Oscars on Feb. 29.
Other technical awards announced Monday by the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences include: Oscar plaques for four Eastman Kodak employees who developed technology to control static-charge buildup on film; Kinoton GmbH for developing a new high-speed studio projector; and Stephen Regelous for an animation system used to create large numbers of computer-generated extras in battle sequences for "The Lord of the Rings" trilogy.
Oscars
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Sues Over Ad
Gail Zappa
A furniture company is being sued for using Frank Zappa's music in a TV commercial said Monday the rocker's widow turned down several offers to settle out of court.
Jacques Tanguay, president of Ameublements Tanguay Inc., said in an interview that Gail Zappa has rejected a number of offers since 1995 in a dispute over his company's use of the Zappa tune Watermelon in Easter Hay. Zappa's widow was in Federal Court on Monday seeking unspecified damages from the company for copyright violation related to a 1995 appliance advertisement.
The song was played as background music in the ad, which ran briefly in Quebec City and eastern parts of the province.
Tanguay said his company didn't know the song was under copyright, adding his chain tried in vain to prevent the case from landing in court.
For the rest, Gail Zappa
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Setting Up Local Advisory Groups
Clear Channel
Clear Channel Communications Inc., often accused of a one-size-fits-all approach in its radio broadcasts, said on Monday it was forming a series of local advisory boards to gather community feedback.
The largest U.S. radio chain, known in part for broadcasting single programs at many stations across the country, said it would start the project in its home town of San Antonio, Texas, with advisory councils slated to open in Cleveland, Ohio and Sarasota, Florida in the first quarter.
More would roll out during the rest of 2004, said the company, which said the boards would let local music communities, community leaders and customer representatives give feedback.
Clear Channel
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Her First Concert In Arab World
Mariah Carey
American pop diva Mariah Carey is to perform in Beirut on February 24, in her first appearance in the Arab world, organisers said.
The biggest-selling female artist in history with 90 million records sold worldwide, will be performing at BIEL, an sea-front exhibition and leisure centre, said Beiteddine Festivals.
The concert is part of Carey's "Charmbracelet" world tour and will be followed by a performance in Dubai on February 26.
Mariah Carey
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Formerly 'The Vidiot'
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Copping Plea
Diana Ross
There will be no trial for pop diva Diana Ross on drunken driving charges.
During a pretrial hearing in Tucson City Court, Ross' lawyers said she's ready to accept a plea agreement and will change her earlier "not guilty" plea at a hearing scheduled for Feb. 9.
Her trial had been scheduled for this month.
Details of the agreement, including what type of plea Ross may enter or whether any type of sentence might be involved, were not released.
Diana Ross
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Watched by hundreds of spectators the Queen Mary 2 cruise liner leaves Southampton, England, Monday Jan.12, 2004 on her maiden voyage to Fort Lauderdale in the United States.
Photo by Dave Caulkin
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Buyers Get Cold Feet
Super Bowl
Insiders at CBS said that through last weekend there were only a "handful" of in-game Super Bowl spots available, but media buyers with knowledge of avails said that handful was about eight--up three or four from a few weeks earlier because a few advertisers decided not to honor their commitments.
That is not unusual, according to media buyers and sales executives from networks that have carried the Super Bowl in the past. "This has always been the way it works," said Rino Scanzoni, national broadcast president at Mediaedge:cia, who has several clients in the game this year. "I don't ever recall that if you wanted to get into the Super Bowl in the last week ... that you couldn't get in."
CBS execs declined comment. But sales execs at ABC and Fox (which alternate airing the Super Bowl) and media buyers cited the intense scrutiny of the ads themselves--via next-day water-cooler buzz and published critiques, such as USA Today's annual Super Bowl Ad Meter--as contributing to some advertisers' reluctance to air ads during the game or decision to pull out of commitments.
Despite the white noise surrounding the Super Bowl, it remains the year's marquee media buy. For example, most major movie studios have purchased at least one spot again this year, though most of their ads finished in the lower half of the meter last year.
Super Bowl
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Brewery Recreates Beer Recipe
George Washington
George Washington's Beer Recipe:
(Note: Following this recipe exactly will result in a beer with an alcohol content of about 11 percent -- making it at least twice as potent as most of today's commercially brewed domestic beers.)
Take a large siffer full of bran hops to your taste-boil these 3 hours. Then strain our 30 gall[o]n into a cooler put in 3 gall[o]n molasses while the beer is scalding hot or rather draw the molasses into the cooler. Strain the beer on it while boiling hot, let this stand till it is little more than blood warm. Then put in a quart of ye[a]st if the weather is very cold cover it over with a blank[et] let it work in the cask-Leave the bung open till it is almost done working-Bottle it that day week it was brewed."
(Recipe courtesy Precious Book Department, New York Public Library. Spelling and punctuation have been left in their original form.)
George Washington
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An orangutan holds its baby at the Sepilok Orangutan Rehabilitation Center in the Malaysian state of Sarawak on Borneo Island on January 11, 2004. Orangutans face extinction in as little as 20 years because of logging and poaching, the conservation group WWF-UK said on Monday.
Photo by Bazuki Muhammad
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
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'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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