'Best of TBH Politoons'
PURPLE GENE'S
PORTA-POTTY POETRY
Recommended Reading
from Bruce
Mark Morford: Behold! The Bliss Watch List (sfgate.com)
To hell with the FBI's million-strong Terrorist Watch List. Here is your killer alternative
Froma Harrop: Girls and "The Pill" (creators.com)
Thirteen-year-olds come to school very pregnant. What do you do? Do you lock up their "lovers" - and their parents, too, if you can find them - and send the eighth-graders to a home for wayward girls? Or do you start prescribing birth-control pills to children?
Jim Hightower: THE WONDERLAND OF RUDY, MITT, AND FRED (jimhightower.com)
Gosh, I want to go to GOPland. What a wonderful place it is: sunny skies every day, bluebirds of happiness everywhere, and an always-booming economy that's spreading wealth to everyone!
Sean Gonsalves: How Racism Affects IQ
Closing the education gap between races requires a critical look at early education and health care disparities -- not unfounded statements that black people are less intelligent.
Deb Price: Catholic Parents of Gay Kids Find a Comfort Zone (creators.com)
On Thanksgiving weekend of 1983, Casey Lopata and his wife, Mary Ellen, began a spiritual journey that ultimately strengthened their family and their lifelong commitment to Catholicism.
PAUL CAINE: Teenage Wasteland (popmatters.com)
A night in a police cruiser in a typical American college town reveals the cumulative effects of suburban boredom.
A must-have for recovering addicts: A celebrity's best friend (news.independent.co.uk)
You're just out of rehab. So how do you stay clean long enough to shoot that movie? A live-in 'sober buddy' may be the answer. And now this Hollywood must-have is coming to Britain. Charlotte Cripps reports.
James Bone: How a 'skip-rat' managed to turn rubbish into a $1m work of art (entertainment.timesonline.co.uk)
A missing masterpiece stolen 20 years ago is expected to fetch up to $1 million (£500,000) at auction after being rescued from the rubbish in New York by a passer-by.
Jordan Levin: Juanes' `Life' reflects pain (popmatters.com)
Colombian songwriter and rocker Juanes is that rarest kind of pop music artist, someone who makes powerful music from the heart that's been recognized with the most stellar success.
Ben Wener: Johnny Rotten sounds off on the Sex Pistols return (popmatters.com)
For all of rock `n' roll's inherent rebellious bluster, it's rare that any of its practitioners actually speak their minds-apart from mouthing off about other stars they don't like, of course.
Reader Comment
Oldest Animal
The Oldest Animal in the world: A CLAM!
Reader Link
Homespun Analogy Generator
The Homespun Analogy Generator
Whether your finer than a frog hair split four ways or as slippery as snot
on a glass doorknob, you can learn a thing or three from the homespun
analogies born down on the farm. Or you can make up your own with the
Homespun Analogy Generator. Just don't expect to learn anything.
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Trick-Or-Treating was lighter than last year - had about 75 kids tonight.
God & Jury Hates Phelps
Albert Snyder
A grieving father won a nearly $11 million verdict Wednesday against a fundamentalist Kansas church that pickets military funerals out of a belief that the war in Iraq is a punishment for the nation's tolerance of homosexuality.
Albert Snyder of York, Pa., sued the Westboro Baptist Church for unspecified damages after members demonstrated at the March 2006 funeral of his son, Marine Lance Cpl. Matthew Snyder, who was killed in Iraq.
The federal jury first awarded $2.9 million in compensatory damages. It returned in the afternoon with its decision to award $6 million in punitive damages for invasion of privacy and $2 million for causing emotional distress.
Earlier, church members staged a demonstration outside the federal courthouse. Fred Phelps held a sign reading "God is your enemy," while Shirley Phelps-Roper stood on an American flag and carried a sign that read "God hates fag enablers." Members of the group sang "God Hates America" to the tune of "God Bless America."
Albert Snyder
Contract Talks Break Off
Hollywood Writers
Hollywood writers and producers broke off contract talks Wednesday night without a new deal, allowing the Writers Guild of America's current pact to expire at midnight. It's not immediately clear whether the writers will walk off the job. A call to a union spokesman was not immediately returned.
If the writers do strike, the first casualties could be late-night laughs.
"The Daily Show with Jon Stewart" and "The Colbert Report" will almost certainly be forced into reruns by a lack of fresh skits and monologues.
NBC declined to comment on what would be in store for "The Tonight Show with Jay Leno." But a person with the network, who was not authorized to comment and spoke on condition of anonymity, said "Tonight" and other NBC late-night shows likely would have to resort to repeats with no writing staff to generate new material.
NBC also declined comment on how "Saturday Night Live" might be affected in the weeks ahead but indicated this weekend's show would air as planned.
Hollywood Writers
On The March, Again
Burmese Monks
More than 100 Buddhist monks marched peacefully Wednesday in a northern Myanmar town noted for its defiance of the country's military rulers, the first large protest since the junta violently crushed a wave anti-government demonstrations.
The monks marched for nearly an hour in the town of Pakokku, chanting a Buddhist prayer that has come to be associated with the pro-democracy cause. They did not carry signs or shout slogans, but their action was clearly in defiance of the military government, as one monk spelled out in a radio interview.
"We are continuing our protest from last month as we have not yet achieved any of the demands we asked for," the monk told the Democratic Voice of Burma, a Norway-based short-wave radio station and Web site run by dissident journalists.
Pakokku, a center for Buddhist learning with more than 80 monasteries about 390 miles northwest of the commercial center Yangon, was the scene of one of the first of the recent anti-government marches by monks on their own.
Burmese Monks
ABC Wins Top Grade
TV Diversity
With shows like ABC's "Ugly Betty," Hispanics are making big strides in primetime, according to a report released Tuesday.
The success of "Betty" earned ABC an A-minus for the 2006-07 season, the highest grade for any network rated by the Multi-Ethnic Media Coalition.
NBC and CBS maintained their grades of B and B-plus, respectively, while Fox was the only network to go down, from a B to a B-minus, prompted mostly by Fox's policy not to disclose complete statistical information.
TV Diversity
Full-Season Pickup
'Samantha Who?'
ABC has handed out a full-season pickup to the new Christina Applegate comedy "Samantha Who?"
The order for nine additional episodes -- bringing the tally to 22 -- followed a solid third airing for "Samantha" on Monday night, when the comedy scored 14.2 million viewers, up 500,000 from the previous week.
"Samantha," in which Applegate plays a woman with amnesia, joins ABC's dramas "Private Practice" and "Pushing Daisies" in being picked up for the entire season.
'Samantha Who?'
Plans Sequel
George A. Romero
Although "George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead" won't be released until next year, the horror filmmaker is moving ahead with plans for a sequel.
The new film will pick up where the first one ends. Fighting their way out of a mansion through a horde of ravenous zombies, the survivors of "Diary" escape to a remote island only to be plunged into another battle with the dead.
Principal photography is set to begin in the spring. Romero will direct from his screenplay.
George A. Romero
40 Months
Lane Garrison
Lane Garrison was sentenced to three years and four months in prison Wednesday for a drunken driving crash that killed a 17-year-old Beverly Hills High student last December.
Garrison, 27 could have received nearly seven years in prison. He had no reaction to the sentencing and was taken away in handcuffs.
Before the sentencing, he apologized to the family of Vahagn Setian.
About 30 teenagers, many of them Beverly Hills High students, packed the courtroom, some wearing T-shirts that had Setian's photograph and the motto: "Dream as if you'll live forever. Live as if you'll die today."
Lane Garrison
Racist Rantings
Duane "Dog" Chapman
TV bounty hunter Duane "Dog" Chapman on Wednesday apologized for using the N-word repeatedly in a profanity-laced tirade during a private phone conversation with his son that was recorded and posted online.
Chapman, star of A&E's hit reality series "Dog the Bounty Hunter," acknowledged using the racial slur in speaking about his son's girlfriend.
A&E did not immediately return phone calls seeking comment on reports it had suspended production on the series, which is the cable network's highest rated show.
In an audio clip purported to be Chapman, he says, "I'm not going to take a chance ever in life of losing everything I've worked for for 30 years because some (expletive) n--- heard us say 'n---' and turned us into the Enquirer magazine."
Duane "Dog" Chapman
Cops Plea In Money Laundering Case
'Jacob the Jeweller'
The celebrity jeweller known in the hip-hop world as "Jacob the Jeweller" plans to offer a guilty plea in a deal with prosecutors over a federal money laundering case, a spokesman said Wednesday.
Jacob Arabov, a Russian immigrant, was to plead guilty Wednesday afternoon at a hearing in Detroit to two counts of making false statements to investigators, said Gerald McKelvey, a spokesman for Arabov. He is expected to face between 37 and 52 months behind bars.
Arabov was arrested in June 2006 at his store in Manhattan. Federal authorities accused him and others of conspiring to launder about $270 million in drug profits for the "Black Mafia Family," a multistate drug ring that operated out of the Detroit area beginning in the early 1990s.
'Jacob the Jeweller'
Skates On Assault Charge
Kristy Swanson
"Skating with Celebrities" star Kristy Swanson got her assault charge put on ice. It was withdrawn Wednesday in the Ontario Court of Justice at the request of a prosecutor, according to the Crown attorney's office and Swanson's lawyer.
The case stemmed from a confrontation between Swanson and the ex-wife of her boyfriend and skating partner, Olympic medalist and former world champion pairs skater Lloyd Eisler. Swanson, a 37-year-old former Playboy model who starred in the 1992 film "Buffy the Vampire Slayer," was arrested in June in Kingston, Ontario. She was charged with assaulting Marcia O'Brien, Eisler's ex-wife.
At the time, Swanson claimed she was the victim. Swanson said she had accompanied Eisler on a scheduled visit to see his two young children when O'Brien attacked her in front of the children, leaving her with a bruised knee and a scratched arm.
Eisler, a 44-year-old former world champion pairs skater, met Swanson last year on the Fox show. He eventually left his pregnant wife. He has a baby boy with Swanson.
Kristy Swanson
Convicted On 2 Sex Counts
'Don Vito'
The man known as "Don Vito" on MTV's show "Viva La Bam" was convicted Wednesday of two counts of sexual assault on a child. Vincent Margera, 51, who was accused of groping three girls ages 12 to 14 during an autograph signing event last year at mall skate park in the Denver suburb of Lakewood, fell to the floor cursing and yelled, "Just kill me now."
He was acquitted of a third count of sex assault on a child. He faces a sentence of probation to six years in prison on each conviction. If he doesn't comply with sex offender treatment as part of the sentence, he could potentially spend life in prison, district attorney's spokeswoman Pam Russell said.
After Margera's courtroom outburst, deputies restrained him and took him to jail, where he was being held without bail until his sentencing hearing, set for Dec. 20.
"Viva La Bam" starred Margera's nephew, professional skateboarder Bam Margera.
'Don Vito'
Historian Finds Oldest Recipe
German Bratwurst
A hobby historian has discovered the oldest known recipe for German sausage, a list of ingredients for Thuringian bratwurst nearly 600 years old.
According to the 1432 guidelines, Thuringian sausage makers had to use only the purest, unspoiled meat and were threatened with a fine of 24 pfennigs -- a day's wages -- if they did not, a spokesman for the German Bratwurst Museum said on Wednesday.
Medieval town markets in Germany had committees tasked with monitoring the quality of produce. Thuringian bratwursts, which are made of beef and pork, are symbols of Germany's cultural heritage and ubiquitous snacks at football matches.
Historian Hubert Erzmann, 75, found the ancient recipe, inscribed with pen and ink in a heavy tome of parchment, earlier this year while doing research in an archive in the eastern town of Weimar, museum spokesman Thomas Maeuer said.
German Bratwurst
Nielsen Cable
Ratings
Rankings for the top 15 programs on cable networks as compiled by Nielsen Media Research for the week of Oct. 22-28. Day and start time (EDT) are in parentheses.
1. NFL Football: Colts vs. Jaguars (Monday, 8:30 p.m.), ESPN, 9.22 million homes, 12.50 million viewers.
2. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 9:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.23 million homes, 4.28 million viewers.
3. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 10 p.m.), USA, 3.21 million homes, 4.84 million viewers.
4. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 9 p.m.), USA, 3.19 million homes, 4.78 million viewers.
5. College Football: Boston College vs. Virginia Tech (Thursday, 7:30 p.m.), ESPN, 3.12 million homes, 4.01 million viewers.
6. "Back at the Barnyard" (Saturday, 10 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.07 million homes, 4.10 million viewers.
7. "Law & Order: Criminal Intent" (original), (Thursday, 10 p.m.), USA, 2.90 million homes, 3.62 million viewers.
8. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 11:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.83 million homes, 4.05 million viewers.
9. "The Hills" (Monday, 10 p.m.), MTV, 2.83 million homes, 3.67 million viewers.
10. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 9 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.79 million homes, 3.50 million viewers.
11. "SportsCenter" (Monday, 11:43 p.m.), ESPN, 2.78 million homes, 3.39 million viewers.
12. "Lost Book of Nostradamus" (Sunday, 9 p.m.), History, 2.72 million homes, 3.52 million viewers.
13. "Hannah Montana" (Sunday, 6:30 p.m.), Disney, 2.71 million homes, 3.45 million viewers.
14. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 11 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.68 million homes, 3.66 million viewers.
15. Movie: "Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets" (Friday, 9 p.m.), Disney, 2.66 million homes, 3.73 million viewers.
Ratings
In Memory
Washoe
Washoe, a female chimpanzee believed to be the first non-human to acquire human language, has died of natural causes at the research institute where she was kept.
Washoe, who first learned a bit of American Sign Language in a research project in Nevada, had been living on Central Washington University's Ellensburg campus since 1980. She had a vocabulary of about 250 words.
She died Tuesday night, according to Roger and Deborah Fouts, co-founders of The Chimpanzee and Human Communications Institute on the campus. She was born in Africa about 1965.
Washoe also taught sign language to three younger chimps who remain at the institute, Central Washington spokeswoman Becky Watson said. They are Tatu, 31, Loulis, 29, and Dar, 31.
Washoe was the only chimpanzee at the institute born in Africa and was the matriarch of the chimpanzee family. She was named for Washoe County, Nev., where she lived with Drs. Allen and Beatrix Gardner of the University of Nevada, Reno, from 1966 to 1970.
In 1967, the Gardners established Project Washoe to teach the chimp ASL. Previous attempts to teach chimpanzees to imitate vocal languages had failed. Roger Fouts was a graduate student of the Gardners.
Washoe
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