'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
The Artful Dodger
THE HOLLYWOOD HUSTLE
Here are some recent screenplay deals that might make it through development hell and show up on your local movie screens in a few years.
Don't stand so close to me
James Woods and Christina Applegate will star in "Pretty Persuasion," a black comedy about a ritzy Beverly Hills school that becomes the setting for a sexual harassment blackmail scheme.
Prediction: This is an indie it could easily develop a cult following along the lines of "Election." That means respect but not a lot of bucks.
*****
Sayles in Silver City
Darryl Hannah and Chris Cooper will appear in "Silver City," John Sayles's latest. It's a murder mystery that also stars Cheech Marin and Kris Kristofferson.
Prediction: Sayles could make the phone book compelling but he's too smart for most audiences, so this one will probably never see the sunny side of double digit box office. Just buy a ticket and know you're in for a treat.
*****
Under the sea
The comedy "The Life Aquatic," Wes Anderson's next project, will star Willem Dafoe, Cate Blanchett, Anjelica Huston, Billy Murray and Owen Wilson. It's about a group of deep sea divers who are hunting for a legendary shark.
Prediction: Anderson has assembled a most eccentric cast for this Touchstone movie, and since they're going to be stuck in close quarters for most of the story, this one promises some delicious ensemble acting.
*****
'Tis the season
David Spade will be the son of Santa Claus in an as-yet-untitled Christmas comedy for Columbia Pictures. Written by Richard Dargan, Eric Wade and Diane Duarte, the movie will presumably feature elves, reindeer and an over-the-hill actor to play Santa.
Prediction: If this one ever gets off the ground, they'll jingle all the way to the bank.
*****
He said, she said
Claire Danes and Billy Crudup will star in the romantic drama "Compleat Female Stage Beauty." The story, set in the 1600's, centers on a man who has made his fortune playing women in stage plays. When women start to play themselves, he must rejuvenate his career, playing male roles instead.
Prediction: The actors will have a field day but box office will be restrained. Period drama, no one to root for, everyone taking themselves sooo seriously...
*****
Be the ball
Ben Stiller will star in the comedy "Underdogs," about two rival athletic teams who must face off against each other in a ferocious game of dodgeball.
Prediction: Dodgeball? Dodgeball??! It was reported that Stiller's wife Christine Taylor is also in negotiations to appear in this one, so let's just chalk it up as a mid-life crisis for Stiller and move on.
~ The Artful Dodger
Part IV
Hurricane Hysteria
Really, just when this hurricane went down to a category 2 I started to relax, but now the entire Washington Metropolitan area is in full blown hurricane hysteria. The Federal Government is closed for the next two days. What does that mean to a Federal Contractor? Well thank Reagan and all the Republicans but here's the dope - a contractor is not expected to come in on a day when the Federal Government is closed, however that Federal Contractor must take an annual or sick leave day, or should be required to make up the time. Somehow, on this contract, when Clinton was President, this wasn't true. In 2000, during a snow storm, they closed the government and I didn't have to make up the time. I had a Federal snow day and it didn't cost me anything not to come in. I remember when the government was shut down in the late nineties at another company - then I also had to work to "make up" those hours when the fucking building I worked in was closed anyway. Thank Gingrich! Sorry for the language but I really think this is a bitter unfair thing to do to the people who actually do the work for the federal government.
Well I'm in class for the rest of the week, so that's where I'll be, for hook or crook. Actually, I can swin the half mile to the hotel where the class is held. If you knew me well, you would know I would get there on principle. (Even though my Program Manager would probably look the other way if I didn't).
That said, well, everything got stupid today in the class. The professor, who is from Tennessee, is spooked. The dialog got really dry and I think he had a very pissy attitude about the lack of a closing policy from the course vendor. Welcome to the fucking world of contract Federal Employees, Wade!!!
We pushed on fast through the course material, most of which is Greek to me, so here is my course value totally ruined by an act of "God" and a pissy course vendor policy. I did pick up some value, but that was only in recognition of things I already did with my program and didn't even realize was Software Configuration Management. On a small scale, I do it all - Requirements Analysis - SCM - programming the code - server management - change control - ass kissing - you name it "I'm a one stop shop" as they say. Actually the professor gave me a compliment, he said, "I can't find a hole in your procedure except that you have no documentation." Duh! That's why I'm here.
Talked to Mom tonight and like everyone else who listened to the media today she is totally psyched, as is my landlord company as they left me a letter today to make sure I had plenty of bottled water and canned food. Duh! I did that days ago.
Nancy
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Great weather is still here.
The local NBC 'O&O' (Owned & Operated), KNBC, had Joel Grover, the resident investigative reporter do some digging into Ahnold's financing. Ahnold has repeatedly stated he'd take
'no special interest money', and singled out lobbyists, specifically Indian casinos & unions.
Seems Ahnold doesn't need to take money from lobbyists - he's taking it straight from the CEOs, particularly winemakers, car dealers, 'healthcare', agri-business and real estate developers. So far, he's accepted over $8 million from them.
Ja, he is looking out for the little people.
Tonight, Thursday, CBS starts the evening with the 90-minute Season Premiere of 'Survivor: Pearl Islands', followed by a 90-minute
RERUN 'CSI: Crime Scene Investigation'.
On a RERUN Dave are Chris Rock and the Star Spangles.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Carl Reiner, Parminder Nagra, and the Cure.
NBC opens the night with a 45-minute RERUN 'Friends', followed by a 45-minute RERUN 'Will & Grace', then a
RERUN 'ER'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are Dana Carvey, Charles Moose, and Erykah Badu.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Charlie Sheen, Scarlett Johansson, and My Morning Jacket.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Salma Hayek, Scott Speedman, and Blues Traveler.
ABC begins the evening with the Series Premiere of 'Threat Matrix', followed by the Season Premiere of 'Extreme Makeover', then
'Primetime Thursday'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Jeri Ryan and Thrice, with this week's guest co-host Mick Foley aka "Mankind."
The WB offers a FRESH 'Steve Harvey', followed by the Season Premiere of 'Jamie Kennedy', then a FRESH
'What I Like About You', followed by a FRESH 'Run Of The House'.
Faux has a FRESH 'Stupid Behavior Caught On Tape', followed by another FRESH 'Stupid Behavior Caught On Tape', then a FRESH
'Temptation Island'.
UPN is still filling the night with 'WWE Smackdown!'.
A&E has 'Biography' (George Carlin), 'Paul McCartney In Red Square', then a RERUN of a RERUN 'Third Watch'.
AMC offers the movie 'The Sand Pebbles', followed by the movie 'Midway', then the movie 'Castle Keep'.
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Talking Movies' - September 18 - 23, 2003;
[7pm] 'Ground Force' - Yorkshire;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Maidstone;
[8pm] 'House Invaders' - Blackheath;
[8:30pm] 'House Invaders' - Lewisham;
[9pm] 'Faking It' - Sheep Shearer to Hairdresser;
[10pm] 'Coupling' - The Girl With One Heart;
[10:40pm] 'Ground Force America' - Behind the Scenes;
[11pm] 'So Graham Norton' - Ricki Lake/ Nathan Lane;
[11:30pm] 'So Graham Norton' - Dan Akroyd;
[12am] 'Faking It' - Sheep Shearer to Hairdresser;
[1am] 'Coupling' - The Girl With One Heart;
[1:40am] 'Ground Force America' - Behind the Scenes;
[2am] 'House Invaders' - Blackheath;
[2:30am] 'House Invaders' - Lewisham;
[3am] 'So Graham Norton' - Ricki Lake/ Nathan Lane;
[3:30am] 'So Graham Norton' - Dan Akroyd;
[4am] 'Faking It' - Sheep Shearer to Hairdresser;
[5am] 'Coupling' - The Girl With One Heart;
[5:40am] 'Ground Force America' - Behind the Scenes; and
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'West Wing', followed by the movie 'Jack's Back', then 'Queer Eye', and 'West Wing', again.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Christina Ricci.
History has 'Perfect Crimes?', 'Miracles & Medicine', and the movie 'Heartbreak Ridge'.
SciFi offers the movie 'A Return To Salem', followed by the movie 'John Carpenter's Vampires'.
TCM -
[6am] 'Designing Woman' (1957);
[8am] 'Please Don't Eat The Daisies' (1960);
[10am] 'The Long, Long Trailer' (1954);
[12pm] 'The Reluctant Debutante' (1958);
[2pm] 'Bundle Of Joy' (1956);
[4pm] 'The Tender Trap' (1955);
[6pm] 'The Mating Game' (1959);
[8pm] 'Battle Of Britain' (1969);
[10:30pm] 'Operation Crossbow' (1965);
[12:30am] 'Reunion In France' (1942);
[2:30am] 'Flying Fortress' (1942); and
[3:45am] 'Dive Bomber' (1941). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Record Milestone
Bo Diddley
Bo Diddley did what he does best, singing and playing his guitar. Five members of Congress did the best they could, playing his backup group.
Wednesday's jam session on Capitol Hill commemorated the birth of recorded sound 125 years ago, when Thomas Edison invented the phonograph.
In a green coat, gold shirt and black hat, Diddley entered the room in what he called his "wheelchair Cadillac" that he sometimes uses for a bad back.
Phonograph collector Peter Dilg of Baldwin, N.Y., set up the antique recording system — an 1898 Edison recorder with a zinc horn and a tin-horned phonograph from around 1903 — and inserted the wax cylinders that record sound.
Diddley rapped for the audience afterward:
"Listen to Bo Diddley/Stay in school/Get your Ph.D."
Bo Diddley
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Grandpa Munster
Al Lewis
After the summer he's had, Al Lewis, who played Grandpa Munster in the '60s sitcom "The Munsters," figures the odds were against him that he'd survive.
"The odds in Vegas were against me. I think, 1,000 to 1," Lewis, 93, was quoted in Tuesday's editions of Newsday.
Lewis checked into Manhattan's Mount Sinai Hospital on June 30 for an angioplasty, his third, Newsday reported. During the heart procedure, an artery ruptured. To stop the blood flow, doctors performed an emergency bypass. That produced serious clotting in his extremities and the threat of gangrene, the newspaper said. His right leg was amputated just below the knee. The five toes on his left foot also were amputated.
He's now recovering at Coler-Goldwater Specialty Hospital on Roosevelt Island, building his strength and learning to get around again.
Al Lewis
Snoops Inside D.C. Politics
'K Street'
Next fall, could Democratic strategist James Carville win a best actor Emmy for playing himself on "K Street"? And if so, in what program category: Drama? Comedy? Public Affairs?
That's just one of the issues sparked by "K Street," the new HBO series about political consultants in Washington, D.C., whose second episode airs Sunday at 10 p.m. EDT.
Executive-produced and directed by George Clooney and Steven Soderbergh, "K Street" is a largely improvised fusion of truth and fiction that throws actors (Mary McCormack and John Slattery among them) together with Carville and other real-life Washington insiders for 10 half-hour episodes, each of which will be conceived, performed, filmed, edited and aired all in the same week.
If the premiere is any indication of what lies ahead, this kookie project is a candidate to be the fall's most addictive new series.
For a lot more, 'K Street'
Syrian schoolgirls wear non-military uniforms September 16, 2003, after Damascus abandoned a three-decade-old tradition that obliged generations to dress in military outfits for school from the age of twelve years old. With the Arab-Israeli conflict dominating the minds of Arabs in the Middle East, the government had instructed that students should receive military education and be trained to use firearms. The uniform change, welcomed by youngsters, cost Syrian parents across the 17-million-strong nation about two billion Syrian pounds ($40 million) according to official media estimates.
Photo by Khaled al-Hariri
Returning To NBC
Andy Richter
Three years after he left NBC's "Late Night With Conan O'Brien," Andy Richter is returning to NBC.
The actor has inked a talent development deal with the network to develop and star in a comedy series project targeted for fall 2004.
For seven years, Richter was Conan O'Brien's sidekick on the late-night talk show. He also worked as a writer on the show and received four Emmy nominations as part of the show's writing team. On the big screen, he will next be seen in "New York Minute" and "Seeing Other People."
Andy Richter
TV Watchdog Censures Oprah For Pro-War Bias
Sweden
Sweden's broadcasting watchdog said Wednesday it was censuring an Oprah Winfrey talk show for showing bias toward a U.S. military attack on Iraq.
The censure means Swedish television network TV4, which broadcast the show in February, must publish the decision but there are no legal or financial penalties, Annelie Ulfhielm, an official of Sweden's Broadcasting Commission, told Reuters.
"Different views were expressed, but all longer remarks gave voice to the opinion that Saddam Hussein was a threat to the United States and should be the target of attack," Sweden's Broadcasting Commission said.
A TV4 spokesman said the Oprah Winfrey show usually drew an audience of about 100,000-140,000 Swedes, making it one of Sweden's more popular day-time television programs.
Sweden
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Baby News
Aidan McIntosh Hamilton
Olympic figure skating champion Scott Hamilton's wife Tracie gave birth to their first child, six years after Hamilton was treated for testicular cancer, his publicist said on Wednesday.
The baby, a boy named Aidan McIntosh Hamilton who was conceived naturally, was born in suburban Los Angeles on Tuesday, publicist Michael Sterling said. Hamilton, 45, who won a 1984 Olympic gold medal, married in December 2002.
Aidan McIntosh Hamilton
Benigno Lopez harvests dragon fruits, a type of cactus fruits found in Central America, on a plantation in San Eugenio 22 km (13 miles) south of Managua, Nicaragua, Saturday Sept. 13, 2003. During the VII round of talks about free trade between the United States and Central America. an agreement of exportation of dragon fruits to the U.S. was reached. The fruits are to be exported to Europe and Canada as well.
Photo by Esteban Felix
Gives NYC $51M for Schools
Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation
Microsoft Chairman Bill Gates announced Wednesday that his foundation will donate $51 million to create 67 small, academically rigorous public high schools in poor neighborhoods.
The grant from the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation was announced at Morris High School in the Bronx, which has been made into five small schools with money from an earlier Gates gift.
The grant announced Wednesday is part of a wider plan by the city to boost student graduation rates by creating 200 small high schools, replacing large high schools that are struggling. The grant will support the creation of 67 of those schools, which will be developed by seven nonprofit groups and will open between 2004 and 2007.
Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation
Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation
Rolling Stones Reissue Overseas
'40 Licks'
The Rolling Stones have reissued their hits package "Forty Licks" featuring a Neptunes remix of their 1968 opus "Sympathy for the Devil," but the CD will not be available in North America.
The package was released internationally on Monday, said a spokesman for ABKCO Music & Records, the Stones' former label, which is partnered on the project with their current label, Virgin Records.
It marks the third configuration of "Forty Licks." The first one, featuring a red tongue on the cover, has sold about two million copies in the United States since last October. A hardback package features a green tongue and different photos.
'40 Licks'
Fly Off Shelves
Last Albums
The last albums by late musicians Warren Zevon and Johnny Cash soared up the U.S. pop charts following the artists' recent deaths, according to sales data issued on Wednesday.
Zevon's "The Wind" rose 28 places to No. 12, while Cash's Grammy-winning "American IV: The Man Comes Around" jumped 72 places to No. 22 for the week ended Sept. 14. The retail sales data were issued by Nielsen SoundScan.
Fans also snapped up hits packages by the pair. Cash's "The Essential Johnny Cash" reentered the charts at No. 130, and Zevon's "Genius: The Best of Warren Zevon" bowed at No. 168.
Last Albums
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Tour Ending Oct. 31
Cher
Cher will finally end her long-running "Living Proof" farewell tour on Halloween night, and she'll do it in Toronto -- the same city where the tour began in June 2002.
The Oct. 31 show, slated for the Sky Tent within Toronto's Sky Dome, will be a disco-themed evening, featuring guest appearances from the Village People, Thelma Houston and Sister Sledge. It will be Cher's 200th date, putting the total North American numbers at 2.2 million fans and about $150 million gross -- among the biggest moneymakers of the past several years, Wavra said.
In November, camera crews captured two Miami performances, which became a highly rated NBC concert special that was nominated for six Emmys. The show won early Emmys for costumes and technical direction during the Creative Arts ceremony Saturday.
Cher
Inks with 'Simpsons' Animator
Romero Britto
Film Roman, the animation production company best known for Fox's "The Simpsons" and "King of the Hill," has signed a development deal with Brazilian neo-pop cubist artist Romero Britto.
Under the terms of the deal, Britto's animations could take the form of a TV series, short films, a direct-to-DVD movie or a feature film.
Britto, who is based in Miami and Sao Paulo, has commissions for Grand Marnier, Pepsi-Cola, the Walt Disney Co., IBM, Apple Computers, a United Nations postage stamp series and was the official artist for the first annual Latin Grammys.
Romero Britto
White House Tight-Lipped
Controversial New Book
The White House is keeping at arm's length a controversial new book alleging that former president Lyndon Johnson had a hand in the 1963 slaying of his predecessor, John F. Kennedy.
The twist: "Blood, Money and Power: How L.B.J. Killed J.F.K." is by Barr McClellan, White House spokesman Scott McClellan's father.
Scott McClellan, 35, is not the only big player in US politics: His brother Mark, 40, heads the Food and Drug Administration; and his mother, Carole Keeton Strayhorn, 63, is comptroller in Texas, US President George W. Bush's home state.
Controversial New Book
Clothing Brand Straightens Image problem
'Fairydown'
An outdoor clothing brand that took Sir Edmund Hillary to the top of Everest 50 years ago is to change its name after market research revealed Australian and British men believed it had homosexual connections.
But Hillary, who took "Fairydown" clothing and sleeping bags to Everest and the South Pole, was furious over the change.
"Reading that connotation into the name is absolutely stupid -- its a good brand," the legendary mountaineer told the Dominion-Post.
Made by the Christchurch firm Arthur Ellis, "Fairydown" gear will now be known as "Zone".
'Fairydown'
May Drop 'AOL' From Name
AOL Time Warner
AOL Time Warner Inc. will consider a proposal at its board meeting Thursday to drop "AOL" from its name. Doing so would be an acknowledgment that the grand hopes behind the merger of old and new media giants have failed.
Veterans from the Time Warner side of the conglomerate have long pressed for the name change as problems mounted at America Online, which used its high-flying shares to buy Time Warner at the height of the Internet bubble in early 2000.
Fixing the troubles at the America Online division have been a major priority for AOL Time Warner. The service is struggling with slumping advertising revenues, sharp declines in its subscriber base and investigations by federal officials into its accounting practices.
AOL Time Warner
Found in Scotland
World's Oldest Genitals
Scientists have discovered fossils of the world's oldest genitals -- belonging to 400 million-year-old insects -- in ancient rocks in Scotland.
The penis of the ancient harvestmen insects, commonly known as a daddy-long-legs, was two-thirds the length of the body and remarkably similar to the modern-day species, New Scientist magazine said Wednesday.
The previous oldest penis, which dated back 100 million years and was found in Brazil, belonged an ostracod, an early crustacean related to crabs, shrimps and water fleas.
World's Oldest Genitals
In Memory
Sheb Wooley
Sheb Wooley, a veteran actor in westerns like "High Noon" who also recorded the No. 1 pop ditty "Purple People Eater," has died, his wife said. He was 82.
Wooley suffered from leukemia beginning in 1996 and was hospitalized Monday at Skyline Medical Center in Nashville. He had just paid respects to American music legend Johnny Cash on Sunday, said his wife Linda.
Wooley, who died Tuesday, appeared in more than 60 movies, acted in some 50 television shows and recorded pop and country songs.
On the big screen, Wooley appeared in mostly westerns beginning in 1950. His credits included "High Noon" (as a whiskey-drinking killer), "The Outlaw Josey Wales," "The War Wagon," "Distant Drums," "Man Without a Star," "Giant" and "Hoosiers."
"The Purple People Eater," about an unidentified flying object, sold 3 million copies in 1958 as a No. 1 pop record.
He also was in a movie of that name released in 1988, starring Ned Beatty and Shelley Winters.
On TV, Wooley starred as scout Pete Nolan on "Rawhide," a western that helped launch the career of Clint Eastwood.
"We called him 'mumbles,'" Wooley once said about Eastwood. "He didn't speak his words very loud. The sound man was always saying, 'Kid, speak up!' But he mumbled his way to a fortune."
As recently as 1990, Wooley made a guest appearance on "Murder She Wrote." Other TV credits included "The Lone Ranger" and "Death Valley Days."
He recorded a string of hit records from 1958 through the 1960s, mostly country humor songs, including "Don't Go Near the Eskimos" and "Talk Back Blubbering Lips." Some were recorded under his alter ego, Ben Colder. He was voted comedian of the year by the Country Music Association in 1968.
He also wrote the theme song of the long-running TV show "Hee Haw."
Born Shelby F. Wooley in Erick, Okla., he spent his early years on his father's farm. As a teenager, he did some rodeo riding that helped him find jobs later in movie westerns. A genuine cowboy, he participated in a six-day cattle drive in Montana in 1989.
In high school, he formed a band and later had a network radio show for three years. He signed with MGM Records before making his way into movies.
Funeral services will be at "high noon" Monday, at his request, at First Baptist Church in nearby Hendersonville.
Sheb Wooley
Hong Kong actor Tony Leung poses for a photo with 'Xiangxiang', the female panda he is sponsoring, at the Wolong panda research base in China's southwestern province of Sichuan September 16, 2003. With the natural bamboo forests disappearing rapidly due to economic development, pandas in China are facing a growing threat to its survival in the wild.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
