'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
This Week
Blackadder
In another story which could be ripped from today's headlines, someone has
stolen the plans for the great attack and given them to the enemy.
Blackadder is assigned to find the spy. He'll do it, even if it means
spending 3 weeks in a nice clean hospital bed with Miranda Richardson as
his nurse.
Not the best in the series but it's funnier than Dennis Miller
mud wrestling with Rush Limbaugh for the rights to have sex with Carl Rove.
By the way, wish me luck, I just arranged for my bail money as King George
is appearing at a public taxpayer sponsered event and I will be be there to
tell him what Dick Cheney told Pat Leahy. I expect to spend Sunday in jail.
FYI our local theaters are holding over 3 dogs instead of showing F911. Gee
I wonder if the coming of the unelected one has anything to do with it.
~ Mr. Hawk
Bush/Cheney 04
Because Even War Criminals Need Jobs
Thanks, Mr. Hawk!
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
Interesting Reading
'Tales from the Monkey Palace'
" First off, the Moore flick is causing spastic colon inside the Monkey Palace. They have dragged out all kinds of poor souls with a desire to suck the Imperial bum to trash the film but it isn't going to do any good. And some comments about the President: You speak about King George when referring to Bush. Queen George... "
For the rest, 'Tales from the Monkey Palace'
Thanks, Tode!
Rumors
Dr. Paul
Reader Humor
'Famous Last Words'
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.
Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Al slipped over the wall.
The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"
Thanks, Bruce!
VCR Alert, 9 July
'The Prisoner'
A definite keeper, The Prisoner returns to BBC America 7/9 @ 10:00 pm. It
appears from the web page that the new Friday night line up will be The
Avengers @ 8:00 The Saint @ 9:00 and The Prisoner @ 10:00.
Sounds like the
beeb is going to challange for a big share of that night.
Mr. Hawk
Bush/Cheney 04
Because Even War Criminals Need Jobs
Thanks, Mr. Hawk!
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny, but pleasant.
AOhell's front page had as a headline "Michael Moore - bash him or ignore him?" They're not showing their hand at all...
New 'Fahrenheit 911' commercials tonight.
Ken Jennings is up to $697,760 on 'Jeopardy'.
One of the cat's killed such a huge moth on the back porch that I was looking around for 2 teeny-tiny Japanese vixen singers.
Former President Bill Clinton signs copies of his autobiography at Costco, Wednesday, June 30, 2004, in Issaquah, Wash. Clinton took his book tour wholesale Thursday with a signing at Costco, the vast warehouse store that has carved out a big chunk of the book market by offering a few dozen carefully selected titles alongside shrink-wrapped crates of canned goods and 30-packs of lite beer.
Photo by Elaine Thompson
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Show Returns to 5 Cities, Adds 4 More
Howard Stern
Howard Stern, the radio shock jock whose show was dropped in six cities amid a crackdown on indecency, said on Wednesday he had made it back into most of those markets and added four others.
Stern -- bumped by Clear Channel Communications Inc. in Rochester, New York; Fort Lauderdale and Orlando, Florida; Louisville, Kentucky; Pittsburgh and San Diego -- will return in all of those areas except Louisville in mid-July.
Infinity Broadcasting, the Viacom Inc. unit that syndicates Stern's show, said it would carry the show in four new markets, including Tampa, Florida; Houston and Austin, Texas; and Fresno, California. That would put the show on 45 stations in all, 27 of which are owned by Infinity.
Infinity does not have a station in Louisville.
Howard Stern
Sen. Hillary Clinton, D - N.Y, speaks to reporters about Port Security as Sen. Patty Murray, D - Wash., looks on at right as a U.S. Coast Guard patrol boat escorts a tugboat pushing a barge through the Port of Seattle Tuesday, June 29, 2004 in Seattle. In addition to continuing regular security patrols and activities, the Coast Guard will board every foreign-flagged vessel that sails into a U.S. port beginning Thursday to check whether it is complying with rules aimed at foiling terrorists.
Photo by Ted S. Warren
Criticize New U.S. Rules
Cuban Musicians
A group of musicians on Wednesday criticized new U.S. regulations that will further limit travel to Cuba, urging the United States to build bridges to the island instead of tearing them down.
The musicians, who produce jazz, Afro-Cuban music and a ballad style known as Cuban trova, tied their comments to Tuesday's release of "Bridge to Havana." The combination CD-DVD was produced by dozens of U.S. and Cuban artists during a songwriting workshop and cultural exchange program in Havana in 1999.
"The day that the U.S. government intensifies its attacks on our country, on Cuba, is the same day that our response is to send more songs, to send more music, to send more love, to send more solidarity," said Pablo Menendez, founder of the Afro-Cuban fusion band Mezcla and a U.S. citizen who has lived in Cuba nearly 40 years.
Menendez worked with musician Bonnie Raitt, actor Woody Harrelson - who also plays the guitar - and Cuban classical guitarist Rey Guerra, during the workshop. They produced "La Brisa Azul," or "Blue Breeze," on the "Bridge to Havana" CD.
Cuban Musicians
TV Talk Show
Jane Pauley
NBC is gearing up to put major promotional power behind veteran newswoman Jane Pauley's upcoming syndicated talk show.
In the works is a one-hour special about the former "Today" and "Dateline" anchor that NBC will air in primetime the week of the Aug. 30 premiere of "The Jane Pauley Show."
"Jane Pauley" has been sold to stations from more than 30 different broadcast groups covering nearly 100% of U.S. TV households. Still to be determined is when "Jane Pauley" will air on NBC-owned KNBC in Los Angeles. After years of struggling in daytime, the station has picked up momentum with "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" at 3 p.m. and "Dr. Phil" at 4 p.m. A spokeswoman for KNBC said Tuesday that there was still no decision on a time slot for "Jane Pauley."
Jane Pauley
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Cancels Rest of European Tour
David Bowie
A pain in the shoulder which stopped David Bowie halfway through his concert in Prague has now forced the star to cancel the rest of his European tour, he announced Wednesday.
"Due to the continuing pain and extreme discomfort from a trapped/pinched nerve in his shoulder and to prevent possible further injury, David Bowie has been advised by his doctors to cancel his performances at the eleven remaining European dates throughout July," said an announcement on his Web site, www.davidbowie.com
David Bowie
Ivan Medina (R) makes a point during a news conference in New York June 30, 2004 held to support the film 'Fahrenheit 9/11.' Medina, a Marine who served in Iraq, talked about his twin brother Irving who was also a Marine and was killed in Iraq. Media's parents Jorge (C) and Ana also attended the news conference where military families urged resident George W. Bush and his cabinet to see the film 'Fahrenheit 9/11.'
Photo by Jeff Christensen
Beyonce, Jay-Z Win Big
BET Awards
R&B diva and actress Beyonce was named best female R&B artist, and Jay-Z won the award to top male hip-hop artist. They both won for their collaboration on the hit "Crazy in Love."
Actress Mo'Nique hosted the awards ceremony at the Kodak Theatre. A lifetime achievement award was given to the Isley Brothers and humanitarian honors were accepted by Danny Glover.
The categories and winners:
Video of the year: OutKast, "Hey Ya!"
Group: OutKast
Male R&B artist: Usher
Female R&B artist: Beyonce
Male hip hop artist: Jay-Z
Female hip hop artist: Missy Elliott
Collaboration: Beyonce with Jay-Z, "Crazy in Love"
New artist: Kanye West
Gospel artist: Yolanda Adams
Actor: Denzel Washington
Actress: Halle Berry
Male athlete of the year: LeBron James
Female athlete of the year: Serena Williams
Viewer's choice: Usher, featuring Ludacris and Lil Jon, "Yeah!"
BET Awards
Hosting Television Special
Alf
Ed McMahon has found the unlikeliest of talk-show hosts to replace Johnny Carson: Alf, the alien from the planet Melmac.
McMahon will be announcing "Heeeere's Alf!" on a half-hour special that will air July 7 on TV Land, the cable channel said.
"Alf's Hit Talk Show" will rely on the tried and true format of a late-night talk show with monologue, banter and guests - with one significant alteration: an alien from a popular `80s TV sitcom as host.
Alf will be joined by guests Dennis Franz of "NYPD Blue" and comedian Drew Carey, with special appearances by Joan Rivers and Henry Winkler.
Alf
Gianni Versace's Niece
Allegra Beck
Gianni Versace's niece Allegra Beck turned 18 on Wednesday and took possession of the inheritance from her late uncle - half the fashion house.
The 50 percent stake in the company had been held in trust since Versace was gunned down at his Miami Beach mansion in 1997, when Allegra was 11. She is the daughter of Versace's sister Donatella, the company's designer, and former model Paul Beck.
Allegra has told friends she wants to study acting in New York. Unlike the children of families such as Missoni, Ferragamo and Biagiotti, she has so far shown no interest in following the family's fashion footsteps.
Allegra Beck
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Father Arrested on Theft
Lindsay Lohan
Teen movie star Lindsay Lohan's father has been arrested on a charge of theft of services after allegedly skipping out on a $3,800 bill for several suites at a posh Long Island hotel and catering facility.
Michael Lohan, 42, was arrested Tuesday at Nassau County Court in Mineola, where he was to appear for a conference on unrelated charges, said Suffolk County Police Lt. Kenneth Fasano.
Lohan was arrested shortly before he was to appear before a Nassau County judge to face charges that he struck his brother-in-law at a first communion party at the family's Merrick home on May 23.
He also faces prosecution in Manhattan, where he was arraigned this month on assault and other charges for allegedly swearing at a sanitation worker whose truck was blocking his car, then punching him in the face.
Lindsay Lohan
Model Aya Kato displays the world's first blue roses at a media preview in Tokyo Wednesday, June 30, 2004. The blue roses, that had been thought impossible to create for years, was developed by Suntory and Australian bio venture FlorigenePty, Ltd., using biotechnology. Blue color pigment extracted from blue flowers was added to roses by recombinant DNA techniques.
Photo by Shizuo Kambayashi
May Be Fined $550,000
CBS
CBS could face a fine of $550,000 for airing Janet Jackson's breast-baring performance during the Super Bowl, a person familiar with the matter said Wednesday.
According to the source, who spoke only on condition of anonymity, a staff recommendation to the Federal Communications Commission suggests each of the 20 CBS-owned stations be fined the maximum indecency penalty of $27,500 for the incident.
The staff did not recommend fining CBS affiliates that aired the Super Bowl show but are not owned by Viacom Inc., the parent company of CBS, the source said.
CBS
Signs With TV Guide Channel
Joan Rivers
Joan Rivers and daughter, Melissa Rivers, are now hanging their Golden Hangers at the TV Guide Channel.
The self-proclaimed fashionistas had been fixtures at E! Entertainment Television where they were widely known for their red-carpet coverage of the Oscars, Emmys, Golden Globes and Grammys. Celebrities had come to expect the question of "whose dress are you wearing?" and the Rivers' collective critical eye.
Their new posts with TV Guide Channel will expand beyond the red carpet to include original specials and series, including the nightly show "What's On."
Joan Rivers
Visitors to the grand opening of Concourse C in the Ted Stevens Anchorage International Airport, Tuesday, June 29, 2004, in Anchorage, Alaska, walk along a hallway lined with historical photographs and ceiling lighting created to simulate the Aurora Borealis.
Photo by Michael Dinneen
Republican Family Values
Britney Spears
Is pop princess Britney Spears ready for her new role as a stepmother? Her fiance's pregnant ex-girlfriend hopes so.
Actress Shar Jackson, former co-star of television's "Moesha," has a 2-year-old daughter by Spears' husband-to-be, dancer Kevin Federline, and is expecting their second child in the near future.
Jackson said she harbors no ill will toward Spears -- "You should never blame the other woman, never" -- and that the breakup of her three-year relationship with Federline has been hardest on their daughter, Corey.
For her part, Spears says in an interview in the forthcoming issue of People magazine that she does "plan to meet his daughter."
Britney Spears
Clearfield, PA
Great Burger Challenge
People from New York and Ohio come to Denny's Beer Barrel Pub for a pretty big hamburger: 6 pounds of beef, one large onion, two whole tomatoes, a half a head of lettuce, 1 1/4 pounds of cheese, top and bottom buns, and a cup each of mayonnaise, ketchup, mustard, relish, banana peppers and some pickles.
On Monday, the eatery hosted the Burger Challenge, which will be featured on TV's Food Network. The behemoth burger, known as Ye Olde 96er, and other large ones are featured on the menu for anyone daring enough to give it a try.
"We already had a 2- and 3-pound challenge, which I thought were awesome, but my daughter was going to Clarion University and she called and said 'Dad, I think somebody up here has a 4-pounder,' which is bigger than us and I said 'Oh yeah, well today we have a 6-pounder.' That's exactly how it was conceived," said Denny Leigey Sr., the restaurant's owner.
Great Burger Challenge
Denny's Beer Barrel Pub, Clearfield, PA
Paraplegic Chihuahua Willy from Long Beach, California, visits All Nippon Airways at Tokyo's Haneda airport June 30, 2004. Willy and his owner Deborah Turner, who often visit hospitals, schools and convalescent homes to bring cheer and hope, visited ANA where they were welcomed on their first trip to Japan.
Photo by Eriko Sugita
'The Osbournes'
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