'Best of TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Jazz From Hills
TrimmedBush and Hedges
The Hummer...
The Hummer's Gonna Be A Bummer This Summer
Ok, let's see, I have a military vehicle that makes me certifiably cool with the country club set, it's huge and uses just a shit load of gasoline. Crude oil prices are at $41.00 at the time of this writing and I'm starting to wonder if my inane quest for status from people who judge success by the hugeness of my vehicle might have been better used by helping someone in need or buying a real hummer from a whore down on third street.
The Hummer H2 sales have fallen for eight consecutive months. Hmmm. I wonder if gas mileage of a whopping ten miles to the gallon might factor into the sales of this yuppy-mobile since at $2.00/gallon (at the time of this writing)will get you 1/3rd of the way from Santa Fe, New Mexico to Albuquerque, New Mexico. I have a Nissan Altima, nicelittle ride, and I can get half way from two referenced points in space. What's the better deal?
Why, other than the status and impression of people who are impressed by large military vehicles on city streets, why in the fuck would you want one? Safety? Are you gonna get shot at? Performance? They hardly handle like a BMW. Affordability? See above. Comfort? If you like wearing helmets and playing Johnny-Seven Army games. Economy? 10 miles to the gallon. Durability? Well, if you're gonna be in Baghdad this summer, it might be the thing to drive through mountains of sand.
Jeez. I'll never understand people who think that the size of your car really impresses people. What it shows to me that your values are fucked up and you need to re-evaluate what and why you spend money on, or your dick is possibly the size of a Vienna Sausage. You're not gonna be buried with your Hummer, sorry. It won't fit in your casket.
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Posted by phillip vincent to to TrimmedBush
Eric Idle presents
The FCC Song
"Here's a little song I wrote the other day while I was out duck hunting with a judge… It's a new song, it's dedicated to the FCC and if they broadcast it, it will cost a quarter of a million dollars."
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny & breezy.
Ran out to the Valley to see Uncle Jimmy. He's been dealing with some age/health related issues - and watching the 911 Commission on CSPAN, so he was in a particularly foul mood, not that I can blame him.
Had him turn off the TV, turn on some music and then piss & moan about politics til the twinkle returned to his eyes. Nothing like a good chimpy bash to make him feel better.
I'm being inundated with mail from me - mail that I didn't send, all bearing virus. If you get mail from me, it's probably not really from me, so don't open any attachments.
On the off chance you do get something from me, it'll be personalized, and any attachments will be noted in the text of the message.
Tennis star Anna Kournikova winds up to deliver the honorary first pitch prior to the start of the game against the Kansas City Royals, Tuesday May 18, 2004, in Arlington, Texas.
Photo by Tony Gutierrez
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Seek Complex 'Fahrenheit' Deal
Harvey & Bob Weinstein
In the wake of Michael Moore's "Fahrenheit 9/11" world premiere Monday, a new drama is developing behind the scenes as Miramax chiefs Harvey and Bob Weinstein set about locking down a new distributor for the film, which their Disney parent has forbidden them from releasing.
According to sources close to the wheeling and dealing, the pact the Miramax co-chairmen are seeking is a complex one that could very well include multiple parties in an effort to split up theatrical, home video/DVD and TV rights.
Moore wants to see the film released as early as the Fourth of July weekend to expose audiences to its anti-Bush message well in advance of November's election. That could prove problematic for one of the larger specialty film distributors, which might find it difficult to accommodate a new film on their ambitious slates on such short notice.
But if the Weinsteins opt to go with a leaner unit that can mobilize quickly and has no competing films, they may want to find a different home for "Fahrenheit's" DVD and TV rights. A bigger player with more distribution clout in the ancillary market could serve that need.
There are several players still circulating in the talks, according to sources. But one factor affecting the closing of a distributor deal is that the Weinsteins have not yet concluded their pact with Disney to buy back the film, a move that must be completed before a new deal is struck.
Harvey & Bob Weinstein
'Bushworld: Enter at Your Own Risk'
Maureen Dowd
Maureen Dowd, the acerbic, Pulitzer Prize-winning columnist for the New York Times, is putting out a book about one of her favourite targets: resident George W. Bush.
Bushworld: Enter at Your Own Risk is a collection of her columns about the U.S. president, with an introduction written especially for the book. G.P. Putnam's Sons, an imprint of Penguin Group USA, will publish Bushworld this August.
Maureen Dowd
Amedeo Modigliani's 'Jean Cocteau,' a 39 1/2-inch-by-32-inch oil on canvas portrait from 1916-1917, is part of 'Modigliani: Beyond the Myth,' which opens Friday, May 21, 2004, at The Jewish Museum. The show is New York City's first major exhibition of the artist's work since a 1951 retrospective at The Museum of Modern Art. The painting features an elongated neck and triangular chin atop a slender figure seated in an elongated chair. The columnlike neck supports the masklike face, which is influenced by African tribal masks.
Appearing on Philly Schools' TV
Bill Cosby
Bill Cosby has a new TV gig, though it's unlikely to be a ratings winner. The comedian will appear on several shows and spots on the Philadelphia School District's local-access station and serve as a volunteer creative consultant.
The programming, including some student-produced segments, will include messages on homework, SAT preparation and vignettes about students and their communities.
The programming will begin airing in the fall.
Bill Cosby
Designated In Virginia
`Heritage Music Trail'
Gov. Mark R. Warner, with Grammy Award-winning mountain music artist Ralph Stanley at his side, signed legislation Wednesday designating 224 miles on several mountain highways as "Virginia's Heritage Music Trail: The Crooked Road."
About 100 people clustered under umbrellas in a driving rain as Warner signed the bill on the steps of a house in Clintwood's business district that will become a museum to Stanley's music.
The Bluegrass Brothers, a southwest Virginia band that became part of Warner's successful 2001 election strategy to reach out to rural voters, played a song titled "The Old Crooked Trail" written by country music star Tom T. Hall.
Warner said the designation of U.S. Routes 221, 58, 23, 83 and State Route 40 through the craggy terrain of Virginia's coalfields could bring in millions of additional dollars from tourism.
`Heritage Music Trail'
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Reissues Wingless Angels Reggae CD
Keith Richards
Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has reissued the "Wingless Angels" reggae CD, which features drumming and chanting by a troupe of devout Rastafarians in Jamaica.
The CD, which Richards produced with Rob Fraboni, was originally released by Island Records in 1997, under license from Richards' Mindless Records imprint.
The new version, featuring the same track listing and artwork, is initially available only via
his Web site.
Keith Richards
Performing artist and musician Laurie Anderson smiles after being conferred an honorary doctor of music degree during commencement at Columbia University in New York, Wednesday, May 19, 2004.
Photo by Diane Bondareff
Author Left Out Material
'Da Vinci Code'
Though "The Da Vinci Code" was contentious enough to produce 10 books attempting to discredit it, its author said he left out what likely would have been the most controversial part.
Dan Brown said that when he wrote the best seller that dissects the origins of Jesus Christ and disputes long-held beliefs about Catholicism, he considered including material alleging that Jesus Christ survived the crucifixion.
While speaking at a benefit Tuesday for a New Hampshire writers' group, Brown said the theory is backed by a number of "very credible sources," but that he ultimately decided it was too flimsy.
Brown's discussion of his book, during which he answered audience questions, was a rare public appearance for him. He has declined most requests for media interviews this year, saying he is focusing on writing the sequel to his book.
He said the new book, set in Washington, D.C., would focus on the Free and Accepted Masons, a secretive fraternal organization. He said the architecture in Washington is soaked in symbolism and plays a major role in the novel. He also said the dust jacket of "The Da Vinci Code" contains a code that reveals information about the sequel.
'Da Vinci Code'
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Picked Up By Faux
Kelsey Grammer
It didn't take long for former "Frasier" star Kelsey Grammer to find a new role to play on television.
One week after Grammer shed his 20-year TV persona as neurotic psychiatrist Dr. Frasier Crane on the finale of his NBC sitcom, the Fox network said on Wednesday it has picked up a new sketch comedy co-produced and hosted by Grammer for next season.
A Fox Broadcasting Co. spokesman said the News Corp. Ltd.-owned network had ordered six episodes of "The Kelsey Grammer Sketch Show," an American version of a British program from the ITV network.
Kelsey Grammer
The dome of Pacific's Cinerama theatre is covered by green plastic to make it look like the charachter Shrek, the big green ogre, from the new film 'Shrek 2,' the computer-animated sequel to the 2001 hit 'Shrek,' Wednesday, May 19, 2004., in the Hollywood section of Los Angeles. The film which opens Wednesday.
Photo by Kevork Djansezian
05/12/04
Part 1Andy Kaufman
Uncle Andy's Fun Afterlife
Twenty years later, dead or alive, will Andy Kaufman return?
Before Kaufman died (or "died") on May 16, 1984, he told several friends that he was planning to fake his death, disappear and return in 20 years, precisely. So, on May 16, 2004, Comic Relief, the charity organization Zmuda founded in 1985, will present . . . something. Something secretive, something at House of Blues on Sunset Strip. Title: Andy Kaufman - Dead or Alive?
For the rest, LA Weekly: Features: Uncle Andy's Fun Afterlife
05/17/04
Part 2Andy Kaufman: Dead or Alive?
Celebrities occupy an almost mythological status in our culture. Whether they posses beauty, talent or charisma, they act as a sort of universal muse for people, inspiring them to live their own dreams. When one of these fabled creatures has the misfortune of an untimely end, the will for their spirit to keep living is so strong, that in some peoples' minds, they are, in fact, alive.
Andy's close friend, Comic Relief founder Bob Zmuda, gave 12-1 odds for the comedian's reappearance. "I think he's dead. I told him once, 'If you're faking your death, I'll kill you.'" No autopsy was performed, but with all of the suspicion surrounding the comedian's death, there was an open coffin at his funeral. Even the open coffin was not enough to satisfy some people. Zmuda explained that a fellow named Dr. Triani actually poked the dead body at the funeral chapel, and declared that it could have easily been made of wax.
Tony Clifton's performance followed a one-time-only screening of the Milos Forman documentary, "Andy Lives." The documentary chronicled the misadventures of Tony Clifton on the set of "Man on the Moon." Quite unbelievably, the film documents events that became tabloid lore. Actor Jim Carrey, who almost literally became Andy Kaufman for the film, is seen dressed up as "Mother" at the "Psycho" house on the Universal Studios back lot. The actor is pacing back and forth and then leaps up and runs after a tram filled with unsuspecting tourists wielding an axe. The tourists' screams of terror seem genuine, as Carrey leaps on board and begins hacking away at the roof of the tram. The episode was far more benign in the "National Enquirer" account.
Even if Mr. Kaufman didn't appear in the flesh last night, his friends and admirers felt his spirit fill the building throughout the evening.
Andy Kaufman: Dead or Alive?
05/18/04
Part 3Andy Kaufman: Dead or Alive?
Andy Kaufman: Dead or Alive? - a Review of the Party for a No-Show
As the date of May 16th closed in on us, excitement among Andy Kaufman fans built up to a level approaching that of the whole "Man On the Moon" and original Andy Lives era. Bob Zmuda did a good job promoting his production, working the press like the old pro P.T. Zmudee is. Articles abounded online and in local papers thanks to press releases and Andy Kaufman even made the cover of the
L.A. Weekly.
andy kaufman
05/19/04
Part 4Andy Kaufman Returns?
Twenty years ago, on May 16, 1984, most of the world believed that we had lost a comedic legend forever. This has turned out to be what will inevitably be known as the greatest comic prank ever conceived. Andy Kaufman, by all accounts, is alive and well at age 55 and is now living in New York City on the upper west side. To his loyal supporters and fans, Andy says "sorry about faking my death," in a recent interview with ABC News at his apartment. In order to reach legendary comic status and seal his place in the history of performance art, he said it was "necessary to go away for twenty years."
Andy Kaufman's official site has been launched at: andykaufmanreturns.blogspot.com.
Even though he has technically returned, Andy says that he plans to maintain his low key lifestyle that he has led for the past twenty years. He has resumed contact with friends and family. Fearing the possibility of this scenario and the potential for another hoax, Kaufman's family has contracted with independent auditors Ernst & Young to determine if this in fact the real Andy Kaufman. He has subjected himself to medical examination and submitted DNA, hair, blood and fingerprint samples to the auditors. Ernst & Young and the Kaufman family report that with a 99% probability, this is indeed the real Andy Kaufman. His mother says, "It's good to have Andy back."
Andy says he will make only occasional public appearances, sometimes in disguise so that you won't know if it's really him or someone else. Kaufman was famous for pulling this stunt with the Tony Clifton character, sometimes played by good friend Bob Zmuda.
Andy Kaufman Returns?
Papers Auctioned
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
Thousands of personal papers belonging to Sherlock Holmes creator, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, fetched $1.7 million at an auction Wednesday, with many items sold to private U.S. collectors.
The auction was a great disappointment to scholars who had hoped the papers would be donated to a public institution.
Scholars keen to find out more about Conan Doyle had been frustrated by a family court battle that broke out after the death in 1970 of the author's son Adrian.
As a result, the collection was locked up in a lawyer's office for about 25 years until heirs of the author's daughter-in-law, Anna Conan Doyle, decided upon the Christie's auction.
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
In Memory
Elvin Ray Jones
Elvin Ray Jones, a renowned jazz drummer and member of John Coltrane's quartet who also played alongside Duke Ellington, Charlie Parker and Miles Davis, died Tuesday. He was 76. Jones died of heart failure in an Englewood, N.J., hospital, said his wife of 38 years, Keiko Jones.
"He's happy. No more suffering," said Keiko Jones. "He's been fighting for so long."
Jones, called by Life magazine "the world's greatest rhythmic drummer," was born in Pontiac, Mich., one of ten children. He had two musician brothers: Hank, a jazz pianist, and Thad, a trumpet and flugelhorn player.
Jones entered the Detroit jazz scene in the late 1940s after touring as a stagehand with the Army Special Services show Operation Happiness.
After a brief gig at the Detroit club Grand River Street, he went to work at another club, backing up such jazz greats as Parker, Davis and Wardell Grey.
Jones came to New York in 1955 for an unsuccessful audition for the Benny Goodman band but stayed in the city, joining Charlie Mingus' band and making a record called "J is Jazz." In 1960, he became a member of John Coltrane's quartet.
Jones, with his rhythmic, innovative style, became one of jazz's most famous drummers under Coltrane. He can be heard on Coltrane's "A love Supreme" and "Coltrane Live at the Village Vanguard."
After leaving the Coltrane quartet, Jones briefly played with Duke Ellington and formed the Elvin Jones' Jazz Machine. He put out several solo albums and continued to tour, including last month in Oakland, Calif., Keiko Jones said.
Besides his wife, Jones is survived by a son and a daughter.
Elvin Ray Jones
Cristine makes clay cakes to sell in Cite Democracie, a seaside slum in Port-au-Prince, Wednesday, May 19, 2004. Clay cakes are eaten to still hunger pain; most Haitians suffer from malnutrition. Cristine sells 3 clay cakes for 1 gourde, less than 3 pennies.
Photo by Rodrigo Abd
'The Osbournes'
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