'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Bartcop Entertainment Exclusive
War Story
Reader Suggestion
T-Shirt Idea
Dubya Dubya III
~~ mlesko
I like it! Thanks.
Reader Review
Daredevil
by Gordon Guano
Just got back from Daredevil. (.)(.)
I never really appreciated the intertwined "D"'s that make up the
Daredevil logo until I saw the movie. Now I understand, because there are
really two separate movies going on as you watch Daredevil. One is the
classic threepenny opera story of good versus evil that comic books
epitomize. The other is the power, glory, and artful storytelling that is
epitomized by Jennifer Garner's breasts.
Wait a sec, what I mean to say, is that while there is plenty in this
movie to appeal to the 13-year-old geek that resides in my 26-year-old
frame, there is also an appeal to the intellectual dilettante in me that was
puzzled but intrigued by Nietschze's "Twilight of the Idols". Jennifer's
boobies were just gravy.
Way back like, two years ago, the X-Men movie showed that comic book
movies don't have to reek (which was ironic because nothing much actually
happened in "X-Men")or have Tim Burton do them. The problem before was that
either you'd see a non-acting lunk like Dolph Lundgren or van Damme plod
through their lines, or the special efects would suck so much that the poor
schmuck sitting in front of you would get popcorn in his hair. (Yes, it was
always HIS hair, assuming he had any.) Now, advances in computer graphics
have made it possible for any film with a decent production budget to crank
out ILM-quality special effects. Also, studios have started to draw in
people who can actually act, and told them to have fun with it. You don't
have to have a whole lot of range to play a superhero; comic books used to
be in four colors, fer cryin' out loud! The addition of large-breasted women
who wear tight leather is what completes the mix.
Oh, and one thing I want to get off my chest: before the film started,
there was a preview (I don't refer to them as trailers, which is another
rant altogether.) for another comic-book film, "The League of Extraordinary
Gentlemen". Hollywood has picked up the ultra-annoying habit in the last few
years of referring to all upcoming blockbusters in three-letter acronyms
whenver possible, hence this film is "LXG". There really is no profanity
vile enough to express how retarded this is. If I had stood up and hurled
F-bombs at the screen until the Daredevil credits ran, I would have been
hoarse and still outraged. After the Republicans stealing the election in
2000, this is probably the thing next most wrong with America. Fair warning:
anybody mentioning "ID4", "H20", "MIB", etc. within arm's reach of me WILL
be picking teeth out of their "SHT" the next day. Apart from that, though,
"The League, Etc." looks like it might be fun, even if the gratuitious
cleavage might be minimal.
Ok, so the movie itself is pretty darn cleverly done. Daredevil is this
blind lawyer in New York who was given bat sonar by the chemical spill that
blinded him. He teaches himself acrobatics, whips Anthony Soprano, Jr's ass
and gets himself a Michael-Jackson-esque sensory deprivation tank. The
effects that show how his hearing compensates for sight are nothing special,
just flickering negative images, but they're so well done you suspend your
disbelief. When he loses cases as a lawyer, he tracks down criminals and
throws them onto subway tracks in front of trains. After some time, he
begins to question if this is the right thiing. Gee. Ya think? Something is
missing in his life---a woman who miraculously has all of her two percent
body fat in her chest.
So he meets up with this chick, right, and she knows even more karate
than him or something, so you know they're gonna wind up doing it, right?
That's irrelevant. There is some incredible symbology done with Daredevil's
truncated senses. Seems cacophonous noises can "blind" him, but a bigger
noise can override it---in the first instance, a church bell. His faith is
never mentioned, but you know it's there---his childhood home has Catholic
paintings on the walls, at first his only confidant is a priest. This has to
be one of the most intelligent and least patronizing portrayals of religion
I have ever seen in any movie. On the other hand, it was balanced by one of
the lamest training sequences ever done: Jennifer Garner, as Elektra, is out
to avenge her father's death (which she thinks was committed by Daredevil),
so she's doing crazy kata-type stuff in her home gym. Great for when you're
being attacked by bags of sand that drop from the ceiling, but what about
when you ned to kick the ass of a handicapped lawyer who moonlights as a
vigilante? Then she does a backflip and a few high kicks, everything falls
back into place, and I stop wondering.
Almost forgot: the bad guy (Michael Clark Duncan is the Kingpin) hires
this crazy Irish assassin to kill Elektra, her father, and Daredevil. His
name is Bullseye, and he's played by this year's flavor, Colin Ferrel.
Interesting to see him against year before last's flavor, Ben Affleck. Colin
has a lot of fun with the role, so I might try to catch him in one of the 16
or so other movies he's in right now. Apparently he can throw stuff really
hard and fast with pinpoint accuracy. Highlights include him killing a guy
with paperclips, killing an old woman with a peanut, and then, in what is
probably the shrewdest move in the whole film, they don't show him doing
anything else but kicking the asses of the other badasses in the film,
Daredevil and Elektra. As a matter of fact, Colin makes such a good showing
that I'm going to leave the boob joke out of this paragraph.
Pacing in this movie is great---1 hour 42 minutes according to Yahoo,
but it doesn't feel like it. Where "Spider-man" had Toby Maguire going on
monologues so long there were times I thought I was in "Hamlet" (and
dialogues with Kirsten Dunst that were so long you could see glaciers
receding in the background), this movie is a tight package that has just
enough talk between fight scenes to let you catch your breath. Speaking of
tight packages, Jennifer Garner can pull off a jeans-and-T-shirt look as
well as formal gowns (I don't know much about fashion, but cleavage is
ALWAYS in season).
In closing, this geek is glad to see that comic book movies just keep
getting better. Perhaps someday they, and the comics they are based on will
become a respected art form. It may mean fewer opportunities for guys like
Dolph and Jean-Claude, but it will be a minor boon for plastic surgeons
everywhere. Ta-tas for now!
~~ Gordon Guano
(You can tell Gordon what a sexist pig he is at gordonguano@hotmail.com )
Thanks, Gordon!
Fresh Komix
from Turtopia
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny morning, overcast afternoon, windy night.
Jo, the (remaining) lizard bit my right thumb while changing his cage today. Trying to think of it as the 'annual nip'.
Heard from a pal today - she had a heart attack. Bummer.
Watched 'The Twilight Zone' (and noticed that SciFi Channel ran the appropriate episode of the original series tonight, too) on UPN, and while I appreciated 'It's Still A Good Life',
'The Monsters Are On Maple Street' sure fit these times. Look what happens when a drunken bully with a gun usurps power.
Tonight, Thursday, CBS opens the night with a FRESH 'Survivor', followed by a FRESH
CSI: Crime Scene Investigation', and then a FRESH 'Without A Trace'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave is Marg Helgenberger.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Michael Clarke Duncan, Sports Illustrated cover model Petra Nemcova, and Queens of the Stone Age.
NBC has changed their schedule, again. Opening is a FRESH 'Friends', followed by another 'Friends', then a FRESH
'Will & Grace', followed by a FRESH 'Scrubs', and caps the night with a FRESH 'ER'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are John Travolta, Yarns quadruplets, and Interpol.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Luke Wilson, Rachel Griffiths, and Paul Weller.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Mira Sorvino and the Doors.
ABC has a night of pseudo-reality crap starting with 'The Bachelor: Aaron & Helene Tell All', where they admit they have long since parted ways, followed by a FRESH
'Are You Hot? The Search For American's Sexiest People', then a FRESH 'I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel is Kaiju Wrestlers, with this week's guest co-host Janeane Garofalo.
The WB opens with a RERUN 'High School Reunion', then a Series Finale of 'Surreal Life' (there's a wedding), followed by a
FRESH 'Jamie Kennedy'.
In an example of Faux-family values, Faux has dumped their scheduled programming to devote the evening to Michael Jackson, and his 'spin'.
UPN throws away the night with 'WWE SmackDown!'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Rep. Eliot Glassheim, D-Grand Forks, holds a sign while attending the 'Prairie For the President' rally on the Capitol steps in Bismarck, N.D., on Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2003. The rally supporting
resident Bush was sponsored by the North Dakota Federation of College Republicans.
Photo by Will Kincaid
''Win Without War''
'Virtual March'
Hollywood celebrities and U.S. church leaders are calling for a "virtual march" on Washington via phone, fax and e-mail to oppose any military intervention against Iraq.
The protest was announced on Wednesday just days after global demonstrations by millions of people against resident George W. Bush's stance on Iraq that insists Baghdad must give up its alleged weapons of mass destruction or face military action.
"Today we are calling for Americans who are opposed to a U.S.-led invasion of Iraq to keep marching," said Tom Andrews, head of the "Win Without War" coalition of non-profit, religious and civil activist groups that oppose a military campaign in Iraq.
Television advertisements starring actor Martin Sheen and airing from Thursday on local cable stations in Los Angeles and Washington will urge viewers to register on a coalition Web site.
Andrews said the goal was to have the phones in the offices of the president and every member of the Senate ringing every minute of the day with a call from someone opposed to the war. Free fax services are also offered on the Web site (
www.moveon.org), Andrews said.
Comedian Janeane Garofalo and actress Anjelica Huston were among the personalities speaking at a parallel briefing in Los Angeles.
'Virtual March'
Nominated For Nobel Peace Prize
Bono
Bono of U2 has been placed on the short list of possible winners of this year's Nobel Peace Prize. The social activist's name joins those of another 150 people and organizations on the list for the honor.
Other recognized include Pope John Paul, Illinois Governor George Ryan, and French President Jacques Chirac.
The Nobel Peace Prize is one of five awards given out each year pursuant to a clause in the will of Alfred Nobel, a Norwegian inventor-turned-philanthropist. The will states that the award should be present
to someone that has "conferred the greatest benefit on mankind," and to the person that has "done the most or the best work for fraternity between nations, for the abolition or reduction of standing armies, and for the holding and promotion of peace congresses."
Bono
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Broadway Bound in 'Hot Tin Roof'
Ashley Judd
Ashley Judd will make her Broadway debut this fall as Maggie in "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," passing up a chance to slink across the big screen as Batman's femme-feline nemesis, the Catwoman.
Two years ago, Judd got her claws firmly in the "Catwoman" role, a character originated by Michelle Pfeiffer in 1992's "Batman Returns." But Warner Bros. delayed greenlighting its latest Caped Crusader flick until it had a script.
Judd then sparked to the chance to do Broadway when producer Bill Kenwright and director Anthony Page made plans to transport their London revival of "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" to the Great White Way. Her representatives at
the William Morris Agency made the play deal, telling Warner Bros. that if schedules conflicted, she'd be scratched from "Catwoman."
Looking to replace Broadway-bound Judd, the studio has made an offer to Oscar-nominated "The Hours" star Nicole Kidman. She's no stranger to the Batman universe, having played an unrelated character who romanced Bruce Wayne in "Batman Forever."
Meanwhile, Kenwright and Page, who launched the London revival of the Tennessee Williams play with Frances O'Connor, Brendan Fraser and Ned Beatty in the major roles, are already casting for Broadway.
Ashley Judd
Thanks, Alex!
Hosting Sci-Tech Oscars
Kate Hudson
"How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" star Kate Hudson has about the same amount of time to prepare for hosting duties at the upcoming sci-tech Oscar ceremony.
The actress has agreed to oversee the March 1 presentation of the Scientific and Technical Academy Awards, which honor behind-the-scenes advancements in motion picture arts, organizers announced Tuesday.
The black-tie event at the Regent Beverly Wilshire Hotel is set to take place about three weeks before the main Oscar ceremony March 23 at the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood.
Kate Hudson
The two two-week-old surviving cubs of 'Kita,' a 5-year-old lion that died Feb. 10, following complications after giving birth, are seen in the San Francisco Zoo Hospital, Monday, Feb. 17, 2003, in San
Francisco. Animal keepers, curators and veterinary staff are caring for the cubs around the clock in a sterile quarantine room, where they are being bottle fed every three hours. The male, right, and female
cubs are still in a critical period of life, but are progressing according to schedule for their age and weight, and now weigh five pounds each.
Photo by Justin Sullivan
Letter To Auction
John F. Kennedy
A newly surfaced 1951 letter from then-congressman John F. Kennedy saying that Gen. Douglas MacArthur would have started World War III if President Truman hadn't given him the ax is up for sale. In the document,
Kennedy commends Truman for relieving MacArthur of his command after the general suggested nuking China to end the Korean War. He also says he supported a naval blockade to stop supplies from reaching the Chinsese
Communists. The letter, available at momentsintime.com, is going for $25,000.
John F. Kennedy
War Jitters Triggers Hiring Freeze
Disney
The possibility of war in Iraq and continuing concerns about the economy have prompted a hiring freeze at the Walt Disney World Resort in Florida.
The freeze is for full-time employees and will last until tourism picks up, Disney said Wednesday.
The action also includes watching unnecessary business expenses, such as nonessential travel, Disney said.
A hiring freeze has been in effect at the Disneyland Resort in Anaheim, Calif., for several years and will remain in place. The resort employs about 20,000 people.
While attendance and per capita spending picked up at Disney's domestic theme parks last year, people are waiting longer to book vacations and will be even more hesitant as war with Iraq seems more inevitable, Disney officials have said.
Disney
Receiving Honorary Cesar
Meryl Streep
Oscar nominee Meryl Streep will receive an honorary Cesar, France's answer to the Academy Award, at a ceremony in Paris on Saturday, French film sources say.
The actress is a surprise addition to the lineup, announced by the French Academy of Cinema Arts and Techniques earlier this month. Director Spike Lee and the French New Wave actress Brigitte Laffont also will receive honorary career achievement Cesars.
The ceremony is expected to be an emotional occasion, following the death on Feb. 11 of Daniel Toscan du Plantier, the Unifrance president who also headed the Cesars.
Meryl Streep
Ozzfest Unveiling
Osbournes
Headbangers of the world will unite once again this summer at Ozzfest, the annual road show of hard rock bands organized by America's first couple of reality TV, the Osbournes.
Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne and son Jack opened their Beverly Hills house to journalists on Tuesday to announce the lineup for the eighth annual outing of Ozzfest.
Dressed in his best pair of tracksuit pants and a black T-shirt, a typically befuddled Ozzy slurred his way through the news conference while a svelte Sharon, as usual, took charge of proceedings, firing off insults at her guests and husband.
Ozzy Osbourne, frontman for English heavy metal pioneers Black Sabbath, will headline the event, which kicks off on June 28 in San Antonio. Osbourne is hardly the most popular visitor to the Texan city
since urinating on a part of the historic Alamo during a drunken stupor in 1982.
He will share the main stage with rock bands Korn, Marilyn Manson, Disturbed and Chevelle. A second stage will feature such up-and-coming acts as Cradle of Filth and Trust Co.
Osbournes
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Hollywood Nominees Make Trek
BAFTA
A slew of Hollywood stars are flying into London for Sunday's British Academy of Film and Television Awards at the Odeon Leicester Square, despite the heightened state of alert in the U.K. following terrorist threats.
Actor nominees Adrien Brody, Nicolas Cage, Daniel Day-Lewis and Michael Caine will brave the tanks that have been defending Heathrow Airport, but fellow nominee Jack Nicholson said he won't make the trip.
Salma Hayek, Nicole Kidman, Meryl Streep and Julianne Moore will be on hand for the opening of the actress envelope. The fifth nominee, Halle Berry, has yet to confirm whether she can come.
In the director race, Martin Scorsese, Rob Marshall and Stephen Daldry are set to attend. Peter Jackson is busy finishing his "Two Towers" DVD, and Roman Polanski never shows up, even in countries he is allowed to enter.
Among those presenting awards will be Michael Douglas, Jennifer Connelly, Mena Suvari, Tim Robbins, Angelina Jolie, Gael Garcia Bernal, Miranda Richardson, Paul Bettany, Natascha McElhone, Kristen Scott Thomas, Ian McKellen, Jim Broadbent and Richard Attenborough.
BAFTA
A member of Myanmar's Padaung tribe, famous for its women who wear rings around their necks, works at a cultural theme park in Myanmar's Namhkam county along the China-Myanmar border, February 17, 2003.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Relocating?
Gore Vidal
Literary lion Gore Vidal, who hates resident Bush, plans to sell his house in Italy and move back to Los Angeles after decades abroad, friends say. Vidal, 77, who has lived mostly in Ravello since the 1960s,
is said to be putting his five-story palazzo (next to a house owned by Woody Harrelson) on the market and plans to re-occupy his Mediterranean Revival house in the Hollywood Hills. Since 9/11, Vidal has been
vocal about his loathing of Bush and American policy in his essays and books.
Gore Vidal
'Reality' Wedding
Melissa Joan Hart
"Sabrina the Teenage Witch" star Melissa Joan Hart could soon be winging her way back to ABC.
During an appearance on Tuesday night's edition of "Late Late Show With Craig Kilborn," Hart said ABC camera crews will be following her around for the next few months as she prepares for her summer wedding to musician
Mark Wilkerson. The results will then be edited into an unscripted special or series for broadcast on ABC.
"ABC, I think is going to do a TV show based on (the wedding)," Hart said. "I actually asked for it because I thought it would be cool to have professionals really shooting the bachelorette party and the bachelor party
and the engagement party and the bridal shower and going with me to try on my dress. And I'll have it all on video. I'm going to produce it so I'll have total control. "
As for the ceremony, Hart said it would be "kind of small ... only 70 people, and we're probably doing it in Italy."
Melissa Joan Hart
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Charged With DUI
Adam Rich
Adam Rich, the mop-headed young star of the 1970s TV show "Eight is Enough," was charged with a misdemeanor count of driving under the influence.
The 34-year-old from Los Angeles was arrested Dec. 18 after California Highway Patrol officers said he drove onto a closed section of Interstate 10 and nearly struck a patrol car. He was charged Tuesday
and was to be arraigned Thursday, the Los Angeles County district attorney's office said.
Officers who puled Rich over in December said he failed a field sobriety test and they smelled the odor of marijuana in his car, although they didn't find the drug.
Prosecutors said they didn't immediately file charges because they had to wait for results of an additional chemical analysis. They didn't say what Rich was suspected of being under the influence of.
Adam Rich
A flock of snowy sea gulls faces the cold wind coming off Lake Erie in Cleveland, Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2003.
Photo by Amy Sancetta
Disputed Book to Be Reissued
'Arming America'
A disputed book about guns in the United States that was stripped of the prestigious Bancroft Prize and discontinued by its original publisher will be reissued this fall in a revised edition.
Michael Bellesiles' "Arming America," first published in 2000 by Alfred A. Knopf, has been acquired by Soft Skull Press, which has a history of taking on controversial books.
"Arming America" challenges the idea that the United States has always been a gun-oriented culture and that well-armed militias were essential to the Revolutionary War. The book was praised
by reviewers and won the Bancroft Prize for history.
Many cited it as a devastating statement against America's alleged historical love affair with firearms. But gun advocates quickly attacked the book, and scholars and critics also became skeptical.
'Arming America'
www.softskull.com
In Memory
Johnny PayCheck
Country singer Johnny PayCheck, the hard-drinking hell-raiser best known for his 1977 working man's anthem "Take This Job and Shove It," has died at 64.
PayCheck had been bedridden in a nursing home with emphysema and asthma. He died Tuesday, Grand Ole Opry spokeswoman Jessie Schmidt said.
Specializing in earthy, plainspoken songs, PayCheck recorded 70 albums and had more than two dozen hit singles. His biggest hit was "Take This Job and Shove It," which inspired a movie by that name, and a title album that sold 2 million copies.
His other hits included "Don't Take Her, She's All I Got," (which was revived 25 years later in 1996 by Tracy Byrd), "I'm the Only Hell Mama Ever Raised," "Slide Off Your Satin Sheets," "Old Violin" and "You Can Have Her."
"My music's always been about life. And situations. Situation comedies, situation life," he said in 1997.
Singer-songwriter Steve Wariner said he knew PayCheck for years and that they had performed together on several occasions. Wariner added: "I also had the honor of inducting him into the Grand Ole Opry. He sure cut some great country music."
Born Donald Eugene Lytle on May 31, 1938, in Greenfield, Ohio, he took the name Johnny Paycheck in the mid-1960s about a decade after moving to Nashville to build a country music career. He began capitalizing the "c" in PayCheck in the mid-1990s.
PayCheck's career was interrupted from 1989 to 1991 when he served two years in prison for shooting a man in the head in an Ohio bar in 1985.
He and another ex-convict, country star Merle Haggard, performed at the Chillicothe Correctional Institute in Ohio while PayCheck was imprisoned there.
"I heard from fans constantly throughout the entire two years," PayCheck said after his release. "The letters never stopped, from throughout the world. I looked forward to mail call every day."
Ohio Gov. Richard Celeste commuted PayCheck's seven-to-nine-year sentence for aggravated assault, and the singer returned to his career.
His brush with the law wasn't his first. He was court-martialed and imprisoned for two years in the 1950s for slugging a naval officer.
He was sued by the Internal Revenue Service in 1982 for $103,000 in back taxes. This landed him in bankruptcy in 1990, when he listed debts of more than $1.6 million, most of it owed to the IRS.
After his prison release, he seemed to put his life in order. He gave anti-drug talks to young people and became a regular member of the Grand Ole Opry cast in 1997.
Still, PayCheck said when people came to hear him play, they still expected to see the whiskey-drinking, cocaine-using, wild-eyed performer with unkempt hair and a surly frown — a reputation he built early in his career.
"They still remember me as that crazy, good-time-Charlie honky-tonker, and I don't tell 'em any different," he said after his Opry induction.
PayCheck was playing the guitar by age 6 and singing professionally by age 15. After a stint in the Navy in the mid-1950s, he moved to Nashville and found work as a bass player for Porter Wagoner, Ray Price, Faron Young and George Jones.
He recorded for Decca and Mercury records as Donny Young until he renamed himself and built success first as a songwriter and then as a singer.
One of his early compositions was "Apartment 9," recorded in 1966 by Tammy Wynette.
In 2002, a PayCheck compilation album, "The Soul & the Edge: The Best of Johnny PayCheck," was released.
PayCheck and his wife, Sharon, were married more than 30 years. They had one son.
Johnny PayCheck
A warm place has been found by these two little barbary apes between their parents at Nuremberg zoo, Germany, on Wednesday, Feb. 19, 2003. The barbary apes are bred by the British on Gibraltar.
Photo by Frank Boxler
'The Osbournes'
Freshly Updated 'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
