'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Reader Correction
Re: The Olsen Twins
The Olsen twin story is fake. Yesterday I received a link to a story about them attending Texas A&M. The address of that story is similar to the one on Wed. Bartcop E! site. If you only input
the first part of the address, you go to the Fake CNN.com Story Generator Site. It's loads of fun.
Fake CNN.com Story Generator Site, or
The Other Fake CNN.com Story Generator Site
~~ Daniel G.
Thanks, Daniel! Should have figured out something was funny about that story. I'm willing to believe that the Twins are capable of getting perfect 1600's on their SAT's, but, should have
realized with their PR-driven lives that scores like that would have been the opening story on KABC for a couple of days.
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Another day too nice for the end of January, but I'm not complaining.
Talked to dear old Dad tonight. He came home to frozen pipes, but the poor Babe came home not only to frozen pipes, but also a frozen septic system. My kid brother, who also lives back there, and wasn't out of
town, also has frozen pipes. Dad was able to get his pipes perking along with a hair dryer, but my brother is currently showering at Dad's.
The kid has to decide on what his science project will be this year by Friday. Tonight he asked if we had any 'rubies laying around the house' so he could build a laser. Jeez - the closest I've come to
owning a ruby is once had a proctologist who called 'rhoids' rubies. Thought it better not to tell the kid that, though.
Dennis Miller was particularly odious on Leno. Said that the country has become too liberal, and why not try vouchers, so what if the only option is a parochial school. Sounds like a plea for Mr. Reality to bite him on the ass.
Tonight, Thursday, thank Kores, it's openeing night of the February Sweeps! To celebrate, CBS opens the evening with a FRESH
'Star Search', followed by a FRESH 'CSI: Crime Scene Investigation', and a FRESH 'Without A Trace'.
On a RERUN Dave (from 10/31/02), are Jerry Seinfeld and Foo Fighters.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Daisy Fuentes and The Doors.
NBC starts with a FRESH 'Friends' that runs over by 10 minutes. A FRESH 'Scrubs' starts 10 minutes late & ends at 20 after the hour.
Next up is a FRESH 'Will & Grace' that will run til the top of the next hour. A FRESH 'ER' starts on time.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are Dana Carvey, a 9-year-old tarantula expert, aand Goo Goo Dolls.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conoan are Heather Graham and Shaolin Monks.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Donald Faison and Jason Mraz.
ABC has a FRESH made-for-TV-movie 'Columbo Likes The Nightlife' (yes, with Peter Falk), followed by 'PrimeTime Thursday'.
The WB starts the night with a RERUN 'Surreal Life', followed by another RERUN 'Surreal Life', followed by a FRESH
'Surreal Life', and a FRESH 'Jamie Kennedy'.
Faux starts the night with the Series Premiere of 'Stupid Behavior Caught On Tape', followed by another FRESH 'Stupid Behavior Caught On Tape', and then the
Season Premiere of 'The Pulse'.
UPN fills the night with 'WWE Smackdown!'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Oscar statues stand waiting to be polished in the R.S. Owens factory in in Chicago, January 29, 2003. The company has been making the awards for 20 years.
Photo by Franck Polich
Bondage Star
'Joe Millonaire' Finalist
One of the three finalists in Fox's hit "Joe Millionaire" has starred in dozens of bondage and fetish films under a pseudonym, a Web site reported Wednesday.
Sarah Kozer, 29, starred in movies such as "Novices in Knots" and "Hogtied," and a foot-fetish film "Dirty Soled Dolls," according to the Web site The Smoking Gun.
The site said Kozer was clothed in her movie appearances, which included being gagged and hog-tied in a cheerleader's uniform. She also ties up other characters.
Kozer, one of a trio of women still hoping to land "Joe Millionaire" Evan Marriott in the Fox series, was shown this week sneaking off into the darkness for a tryst with him.
Kozer's occupation is described as "sales and design" on Fox's Web site.
There's no mention of her acting jobs, under the name Cindy Schubert, in Fox's brief bio. When asked "what is the wildest thing you've ever done?", she said there was a long list but picked backpacking in Morocco.
'Joe Millonaire' Finalist
www.thesmokinggun.com
Performing At The Grammy's
Bruce Springsteen
The Recording Academy scored an early coup this week for its upcoming 45th annual Grammy broadcast by signing a group of big-name acts -- including Grammy nominees Bruce Springsteen and Norah Jones -- to perform at the kudofest.
Also scheduled to hit the stage during the Feb. 23 show at Madison Square Garden are Brit rockers Coldplay, country star Faith Hill and rapper Nelly (featuring Kelly Rowland). All five of the acts confirmed to date are Grammy nominees.
Jones, Springsteen and Nelly have all received five nominations from the Academy, including one each for album of the year. Coldplay is up for two statuettes, while Hill got a nomination for female country vocal performance.
Bruce Springsteen
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Interview by Joel Bleifuss
Kurt Vonnegut
''I myself feel that our country, for whose Constitution I fought in a just war, might as well have been invaded by Martians and body snatchers. Sometimes I wish it had been. What has happened, though,
is that it has been taken over by means of the sleaziest, low-comedy, Keystone Cops-style coup d'etat imaginable. And those now in charge of the federal government are upper-crust C-students who know
no history or geography, plus not-so-closeted white supremacists, aka "Christians," and plus, most frighteningly, psychopathic personalities, or "PPs."
To say somebody is a PP is to make a perfectly respectable medical diagnosis, like saying he or she has appendicitis or athlete's foot. The classic medical text on PPs is The Mask of Sanity by Dr. Hervey
Cleckley. Read it! PPs are presentable, they know full well the suffering their actions may cause others, but they do not care. They cannot care because they are nuts. They have a screw loose!
And what syndrome better describes so many executives at Enron and WorldCom and on and on, who have enriched themselves while ruining their employees and investors and country, and who still feel as
pure as the driven snow, no matter what anybody may say to or about them? And so many of these heartless PPs now hold big jobs in our federal government, as though they were leaders instead of sick.
What has allowed so many PPs to rise so high in corporations, and now in government, is that they are so decisive. Unlike normal people, they are never filled with doubts, for the simple reason that
they cannot care what happens next. Simply can't. Do this! Do that! Mobilize the reserves! Privatize the public schools! Attack Iraq! Cut health care! Tap everybody's telephone! Cut taxes on the rich!
Build a trillion-dollar missile shield! Fuck habeas corpus and the Sierra Club and In These Times, and kiss my ass!''
For the worthwhile rest, Kurt Vonnegut
From Alex
'The Simpsons'
For more than a decade they have reigned as television's favorite dysfunctional family, and now "The Simpsons" will soon enter the record books as the longest-running sitcom in prime-time history.
Now in their 14th season of animated social satire on Fox television, that beer-guzzling, doughnut-scarfing family man Homer Simpson and all the good citizens of Springfield have shown no signs of aging as they near their 300th episode.
With its ratings on the rise, "The Simpsons" remains one of the most watched TV shows on Sunday night and was one of the rare bright spots on the Fox lineup during an overall slump in the News Corp.-owned network's viewership earlier this season.
It also remains a perennial favorite among critics and in December earned its first Golden Globe nomination in the race for best comedy series, a rare feat for a cartoon show, even though it didn't win.
Earlier this month, the network announced that it had renewed the series for two more years, through May 2005, meaning "The Simpsons" will stay on the air for at least 16 seasons. By then, they will have easily eclipsed
the real-life Nelson family on "The Adventures of Ozzie and Harriet" as the longest-running weekly comedy series on TV. The Nelsons left ABC in 1966 after 14 seasons on the air.
But long before a very different Ozzy came to MTV as head of "The Osbournes" unruly household on MTV, "The Simpsons" had established itself as a worldwide pop culture phenomenon seen in more than 70 countries.
For the rest, 'The Simpsons'
Thanks, Alex!
Rebuffs Honorary Oscar
Peter O'Toole
For all the accolades handed out in Hollywood, it's rare to find a performer who is unwilling to accept one. But Peter O'Toole is no ordinary entertainer.
Academy Award organizers want to present the eccentric 70-year-old Irish actor with an honorary Oscar, but he says he won't be ready to accept such an award for at least another decade.
In a brief, hand-written open letter to the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences, O'Toole politely suggested that receiving an honorary Oscar might preclude him from eventually winning a competitive statuette.
O'Toole has earned seven Oscar nominations as best actor, starting with his 1962 title role in "Lawrence of Arabia," but has never won.
Describing what he thought about an honorary Oscar being in the offing, he wrote: "I was enchanted but said that as I was still in the game and might yet win the lovely bugger outright, would the Academy please defer the honor until I am 80?"
Academy spokesman John Pavlik told Reuters on Thursday the academy chooses its award designees regardless of whether they plan to show up. And while winning actors such as Marlon Brando and George C. Scott have snubbed the Oscars, no
one can remember an honorary recipient refusing to accept one.
Peter O'Toole
Champagne vs. Tequila
Stern vs. Daly
In the battle of the bachelors, Howard Stern beats Carson Daly? At Rehab the other night, "they were sitting at adjoining booths in the VIP room, competing to see who could get the cutest
girls to join their table," a witness tells Msnbc.com's Jeannette Walls. "Daly kicked it off by ordering a bottle of tequila and setting up shots, but Stern upped the ante with a magnum
of champagne, offering glasses to the hottest women." Stern, who was without galpal Beth Ostrosky, was "way ahead," Walls reports.
Stern vs. Daly
Going To Auction
John Entwistle's Guitars
More than 150 guitars belonging to John Entwistle of The Who -- the British rock band famous for smashing rather than preserving guitars -- are to be sold, auction house Sotheby's said on Wednesday.
Sotheby's said the Entwistle collection, which includes stage costumes and musical awards, is expected to fetch a total of about 400,000 pounds ($650,000) when it is sold on May 13.
Sotheby's said the sale will include the rocker's favorite guitar -- a pink Fender Precision Bass -- known affectionately as "Frankenstein."
Although he was known as a bass player, Entwistle also collected other rare guitars. On offer will be a Gibson Explore and a Gibson Flying V both dating from 1958.
John Entwistle's Guitars
Show 'Bar' Closes
Jimmy Kimmel
It's last call at Jimmy Kimmel's new ABC talk show.
After a boisterous premiere during which actor George Clooney passed around a bottle of vodka and an audience member vomited, the bar that serves drinks to audience members has been shut down.
Kimmel's late-night talk show, to run regularly on weeknights, premiered early Monday two hours after the end of the Super Bowl and was seen by an average of 4.8 million viewers.
Besides Clooney pouring drinks, rapper Snoop Dogg tested censors by several times making an on-camera obscene gesture.
ABC is hoping to build a late-night franchise by replacing "Politically Incorrect" with a new show led by Kimmel, former co-host of "The Man Show" on Comedy Central. ABC had resisted
letting the show operate a bar in the first place, but Kellison pointed out drinks are served at the Disney-owned California Angels' games.
Jimmy Kimmel
Says Stem Cell Research Inevitable
Christopher Reeve
Disabled "Superman" star Christopher Reeve said Wednesday that Washington's strict limits on stem cell research will eventually be overtaken by support from individual American states.
Reeve told Reuters by telephone that he expects the administration of resident Bush to remain opposed to the research, which he maintains could free disabled people such as himself from the confines of their wheelchairs.
He said individual states would, one by one, follow the lead of California, which passed a law in September allowing therapeutic cloning -- which could help repair spinal injuries and cure Parkinson's and other degenerative diseases.
"One thing you learn when you're forced to sit still, and I've been sitting still for seven years, is patience," he said in Sydney, where he is raising money for research.
The actor, set to guest star next month in a television version of Superman called "Smallville," is an active campaigner for nuclear transfer, or so-call therapeutic cloning. Reeve emphasizes
that the practice, which involves the use of stem cells from adults or embryos, should not be confused with reproductive cloning, which he says should be criminalized.
He said Singapore, Switzerland and Britain were among countries developing legal and economic environments attractive to pharmaceutical companies and scientists.
Christopher Reeve
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Not A 'Better Time/Better Night' After All
David E. Kelley
"The Practice," anchor of ABC's rejiggered Monday lineup, looked extremely shaky in its new Monday time slot, placing a distant fourth at 9 p.m. and getting pummeled by Fox's "Joe Millionaire," which hit another high.
ABC promos claimed the 20th Century Fox TV-produced "The Practice" was moving to a "better night" and "better time," but one has to ask, "Better for whom?"
Not surprisingly, "Practice" creator-executive producer David E. Kelley and 20th Century Fox TV president Dana Walden were fuming Tuesday, with Kelley virtually charging ABC with premeditated murder of his legal franchise.
"They've killed it with one fell swoop," Kelley told Daily Variety, who said the decision to shift "The Practice" has puzzled him from the moment it was announced last month and has left the show's cast and crew feeling "tremendously betrayed."
"It didn't make any sense when they announced it; it seemed like a death sport," he said. "Today, some of us look smarter and some of us don't. I would hope (ABC) would act in their own self-interest and put it back where it was doing well."
Indeed, following Kelley's decision to get more actively involved in the production of the show again this fall, "The Practice" was easily winning its 10 p.m. Sunday slot this fall, averaging a 4.9/12 in adults 18-49 with original episodes.
But ABC executives opted to give the Sunday slot to Dick Wolf's forthcoming "Dragnet" update, sending "The Practice" to Mondays to anchor a new night of dramas.
Kelley said he has heard the buzz that ABC execs moved his show to Mondays as part of "a scheme to get leverage" in upcoming talks with 20th Century Fox TV to reduce the 2003-04 license fee for "The Practice."
"It's hard to believe that they could act in such bad faith," Kelley said. "But no matter how low you set the bar of intelligence for ABC, they manage to slither under it ... . It's folly to try to guess what's in their heads because that would
start with the presumption that there's something (in them.)"
David E. Kelley
Mr. Kelley's comments accurately describes the Disney I knew & loved ; )
Cambodian girls practice classical dance at Phnom Penh's Royal University of Fine Arts in this photo taken November 26, 2002. The ancient 'Apsara' or angel dancing tradition, which dates back
more than 1,000 years to before the building of the Angkor Wat temple complex, is making a comeback in the Southeast Asian nation after being outlawed by the ultra-Maoist Khmer Rouge during their rule in the 1970s.
Photo by Chor Sokunthea
Hosting First TV Land Kudocast
John Ritter
Television veteran John Ritter will host the inaugural "TV Land Awards: A Celebration of Classic TV" in March.
The event, which will premiere on TV Land and will be simulcast on Nick at Nite on March 9, represents the network's first foray into award show programming. However, kudocasts have become signature events on several
of TV Land's fellow Viacom-owned cable siblings such as MTV, VH1 and Nickelodeon.
The special will recognize the TV shows that have withstood the test of time. TV Land, together with some of the most beloved celebrities of modern and classic TV, will honor the legends, innovators, pop culture
favorites and unsung heroes of the small screen's past. Winners will be decided by TV Land's experts and viewers who have cast votes on TVLand.com. The event will be taped March 2 at the Hollywood Palladium.
John Ritter
Column Pulled From The 'Oregonian'
Arianna Huffington
Arianna Huffington is suffering some backlash for her anti-SUV campaign. This week, the syndicated columnist was booted off the Oregonian's op-ed page after editor Doug Bates decided she'd "dragged herself across
the line from being a commentator to being an activist" in launching the Detroit Project. "Clearly this has more to do with pleasing their advertisers," Huffington said. "As Watergate taught us, when in doubt follow
the money." Huffington points out that Detroit automakers have now declared their dedication to manufacturing hybrid cars, calling it "a great day for the Detroit Project, an amazing victory." Meanwhile, Huffington just published her book "Pigs at the
Trough: How Corporate Greed and Political Corruption Are Undermining America" (Crown), which Tina Brown feted at her East Side maisonette last night.
Arianna Huffington
'The Massacre of the Innocents' To Go On Public Display
Peter Paul Rubens
One of the world's three most expensive paintings will go on display in a public gallery this week for the first time in its eventful 400-year history.
"The Massacre of the Innocents" by Flemish master Peter Paul Rubens will hang at London's National Gallery from Thursday.
The picture belongs to David Thomson, billionaire chairman of the Thomson newspaper empire, who bought it at Sotheby's auction house last year for $81.51 million -- a world record in sterling terms.
He has loaned it to the gallery for three years, after which it will be housed at the Art Gallery of Ontario in Canada.
The other two most expensive paintings are Vincent Van Gogh's "Portrait of Doctor Gachet" and Pierre-Auguste Renoir's "Au Moulin de la Galette," which sold in 1990 for $82.5 million and $78.1 million respectively.
Peter Paul Rubens
13 Pilots - All Sitcoms
The WB
The WB hopes to conquer the comedy arena next season by ordering 13 sitcom pilots for fall.
While its dramas have flourished, the network had launched few hit sitcoms until "Reba" premiered last season.
With that show, and the upcoming move of "Grounded for Life" to the WB, entertainment president Jordan Levin said he believes the network has developed some comedy momentum.
All told, the WB will pick up 23 comedy and drama pilots this season, up from 20 last year, even as the reality TV revolution takes hold at the networks.
For more details, The WB
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Can't Use 'Beach Boy' Name
Al Jardine
A federal appeals court ruled that former Beach Boys singer-guitarist Al Jardine can't use the term "Beach Boys" in his touring band.
The 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals on Tuesday upheld a federal judge who ruled two years ago that Jardine was infringing on the trademark of Brother Records Inc., which owns the
rights of the Beach Boys works. The Beach Boys rode a wave of popularity from hits such as "Surfin' USA."
Brother Records is jointly held by Jardine, Mike Love, Brian Wilson and the estate of Carl Wilson.
Al Jardine
Ling Ling the Panda, his snout covered in lunch, stares out of his enclosure at Mexico City's Chapultepec zoo January 29, 2003. 17 year old Ling Ling is on loan from Ueno zoo in Tokyo for the third time to see if he will mate
with Mexico City's three female pandas. Ling Ling's two previous visits to Mexico City have proved fruitless.
Photo by Andrew Winning
Britain Buzzes Over Departure
Madonna
Is the love affair over between Britain and the superstar it likes to call Madge?
Recent press reports claimed adopted Londoner Madonna has decamped to Los Angeles, defeated by the dreary English weather.
British newspapers reported this month that Madonna had withdrawn her 6-year-old daughter, Lourdes, from a London school, and quoted the singer as telling friends she was fed up with "everything that is English."
One magazine quoted Madonna's father-in-law, John Ritchie, as saying: "Madonna is very happy to be out of London because the harsh winter weather was getting her down."
The reports of Madonna's departure cheered some sections of the British press.
"Madonna the Brit," wrote David Thomas in Wednesday's Daily Mail, was "a classic case of the rich, crass, clueless American playing at English tradition."
Madonna
Bounces Back into TV
'Magic' Johnson
Basketball great Earvin "Magic" Johnson is getting back into the TV game after fouling out in 1998 with his doomed talk show "The Magic Hour."
Johnson said Wednesday he will produce and occasionally appear in the MTV reality show "Who's Got Game," documenting the lives of 12 street basketball players competing for fame and a $100,000 prize.
The Hall of Famer said he will visit neighborhoods in cities such as Washington, New York, Chicago, Houston and Los Angeles over the next two months scouting for contestants.
"I want the guys who are just street ball players," he said. "They're not as famous as guys in college and the NBA, but they're famous in their own neighborhoods or playgrounds."
Contestants will be limited to men over the age of 18, but Johnson said he would consider a new version with women players if the show is a success.
'Magic' Johnson
Moving To MSNBC?
Sam Donaldson
Veteran ABC News reporter Sam Donaldson is the latest name to surface for another shakeup at troubled MSNBC.
Donaldson is talking to the cable network about a potential prime-time talk show, according to industry executives who spoke on the condition of anonymity. A deal is not said to be imminent.
Since losing his job as host of the Sunday morning public affairs show, "This Week," to George Stephanopoulos, Donaldson has been concentrating on his ABC News radio program. His television appearances are rare.
Sam Donaldson
Celebrates 80th Birthday
Norman Mailer
Norman Mailer did not expect to make it to 40, and now finds himself twice that age.
He has lived longer than Ernest Hemingway and most of his other literary heroes. His body aches, but his mind remains strong.
But a man famous for swooning to his own song does none of that during a recent interview. While he plans to celebrate with family and friends, he also worries.
"I always liked the number 80. ... But I think you pass a certain border at that point. How long are you going to be able to keep writing? There are not that many good writers at 80," says Mailer, whose birthday is Friday.
For the rest, Norman Mailer
Promotes Sept. 11 Film
Sigourney Weaver
Sigourney Weaver and her husband-director Jim Simpson promoted their new film about firefighters who died in the Sept. 11 terror attacks during a visit to the state Capitol.
"The Guys" tells the story of a Brooklyn fire captain (Anthony LaPaglia) who enlists the help of a reporter (Weaver) to write eulogies for men he lost in the attacks on the World Trade Center.
Weaver and Simpson, who have a second home in upstate New York, made Albany their first stop on a five-city tour. Other stops were scheduled in Boston, Philadelphia, Washington and Chicago.
The low-budget film is adapted from an off-Broadway play written by reporter Anne Nelson and directed by Simpson. The play, also starring Weaver, opened Dec. 4, 2001, in Simpson's Flea
Theater — about 11 blocks from ground zero — and ran for about a year.
Sigourney Weaver
Tired of 'Anti-American' Label
Susan Sarandon
Susan Sarandon said she's weary of being labeled "anti-American" because she has questioned the Bush administration's policy toward Iraq.
The 56-year-old actress, well-known for her political activism, said there are many questions that need to be asked about the prospect of a war with Iraq.
"I'm tired of being labeled anti-American because I ask questions," she told reporters before the premiere of her movie "The Banger Sisters," co-starring Goldie Hawn, which was released in the United States last year.
Sarandon also said she couldn't understand why British Prime Minister Tony Blair has shown so much support for President Bush.
"What's happened to Blair? I don't understand his reasoning or his logic. I don't understand his evolution," she said. "I can see him being seduced by Clinton but don't understand what he and Bush speak about."
Susan Sarandon
A po`ouli, or Hawaiian honeycreeper is shown in the Hanawi Nature Area Reserve on the island of Maui in Hawaii in this undated handout photo. A team of biologists plans to fly into a rainforest reserve on the slopes of Haleakala on to try and capture the last three po`ouli birds in an effort to save the rare species from extinction.
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'The Osbournes'
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Critical Date Approaches
Nick's Crusade
