'Best of TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Reader Rant
Re: Dubya's Speech
If you've ever read or seen The Princess Bride, I was Miracle Max's wife last night. I kept yelling "Liar, Liar" until Lizzy called from school and asked if this guy lived in this universe.
It's quite obvious how he's going to fund homeland security now that even the government is showing business how to avoid paying overtime. They will soon pass and Dubya will sign legislation making it legal to not pay overtime to police, firefighters, nurses, etc. Therefore, there will be no more costs involved in the extra man hours involved in homeland security.
Also, there is no incentive for businesses to hire more people if they can work what they've got with out paying them more. Yeah, he really sees the economy picking up, but for whom? Now if the Tu-Tu democrats would just speak......
By the way, the print media trashed Dean just before the caucuses in Iowa. The GOP did their job. Now they're trashing him because he has the audacity to let his wife have a profession and actually continue in it and raise their children at home while he pursues his job. The thought of a two income family - how dreadful! She belongs at his side, silent, dumb, smiling, without a brain in her head!
Joanne
Good one! Thanks, Joanne!
Contributor Comment
Chimp Gone Wild
Saw this on Eschaton....hysterical!
Alex
Thanks, Alex (& Atrios)!
A review (sort of)
Re: BBC
Today I want to sing the praises of the BBC.
They have brought back the great series Black Adder on Friday nights at 8:40. This series starring Rowan Atkinson
(best know as Mr Bean) is a historical comedy.
The 1st series is set during the late 1400's. Rowan is the slimy son of the King who is
always plotting to get rid of his older brother and take the throne. His
father (the king) is played by a great actor named Brian Blessed. I would
particularly recommend 2 episodes, the first being about a witch hunter
that call's Black Adder as a witch. The other episode has Black Adder
appointed Bishop of Canterbury.
While there are some gags you might have to
look up such as Morris Dancing any person will get a hearty laugh as Black
Adder describes Hell. It sounds like a good republican country club.
If the
BBC keeps the show on for the full run we see a progression of Blackadders
thru the ages covering Elizabethian times, The Regency (George III's time)
and lastly WWI. Each time period has its own style and sometimes the comedy
is a little crude but all shows are great Britcoms.
Michael H
Thanks, Michael!
When I read your review, the name Brian Blessed jumped out, but I couldn't place him.
While perusing his credits at IMDb came across
'Return to Treasure Island' (1985) (mini) - it aired regularly when I working at the Disney Channel.
Brian Blessed plays a fabulous 'Long John Silver,' in a better-than-expected mini-series. If you ever get the chance,
it's worth viewing
New Tune - Song About George W
'Citizen'
Hello,
We are a band -- we call ourselves "Citizen" because we are ordinary citizens. We wrote a song for the people who aren't sheeple, and produced it somewhere deep in the midwestern hardwood forest. Please feel free to share as you wish!
'Citizen'
Jeanette Castillo, lyricist/vocalist
"Citizen"
from Mark
SOTU Bumpersticker
Reader Comment
Re: Nancy Pelosi
I'm glad someone who's not catty or gratuitously cruel mentioned
Pelosi's bad botox job. It was the first thing I noticed, and even
said to my SO - "jeez, a little too much botox there, Nance."
It's a shame, because the content of their message was so strong, but
House Minority Leader or not, you can't have someone who doesn't blink,
can't raise her eyebrows, and can't read a teleprompter deliver our
message. Ugh - she makes Katherine Harris look glamorous. And Daschle
doesn't exactly exude charisma either.
God, I miss Bill.
- Pattie O'
Thanks, Pattie!
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
Requested Repeat
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
The wind is picking up - cold & clear tonight.
Did the CostCo loop today. They're carrying a much wider selection of fresh produce - must be in response to the grocer's strike.
The kid is still entranced with his Zoo Tycoon. Tonight he found out that if animals escape, they will eat visitors (people), although not in a graphic manner. It happens behind trees or in clouds of dust.
The animals also shit, but trying to be gentile, it's referred to as 'poo.'
Quite pleased he'd rather play a game with critters that shit than creatures celebrating death and destruction.
Tonight, Thursday, CBS provides another night of RERUNs - a RERUN 'Without A Trace', followed by a RERUN
'CSI: Crime Scene Investigation', then another RERUN 'Without A Trace'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Matthew Broderick and Mars expert Dr. Jim Garvin. (RERUNs all next week)
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Susan Lucci and Ruben Studdard.
NBC starts the night with a RERUN 'Friends' (there are only 18 episodes this year, instead of the usual 22), followed by a
FRESH 'Good Morning, Miami', then a FRESH 'Will & Grace' (starts 1 minute before the top of the hour), followed by a
FRESH 'Scrubs', then a FRESH 'ER' (starts 1 minute before the top of the hour).
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are Dennis Miller, Kim Cattrall, and Sheryl Crow.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Ashton Kutcher and Rickie Lee Jones. (RERUNs all next week)
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Tyra Banks, Isiah Thomas, and Pat Monahan.
ABC opens the night with a FRESH 'Threat Matrix', followed by a FRESH 'Extreme Makeover', then 'Primetime Thursday'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Hulk Hogan, Sherri Shepherd, and the Thrills, with this week's guest co-host Super Dave Osborne.
The WB offers a FRESH 'Steve Harvey's Big Time', followed by a FRESH 'All About The Andersons', then a FRESH
'Jamie Kennedy', followed by a FRESH 'Run Of The House'.
Faux has a FRESH 'Tru Calling', followed by 'World's Worst Drivers: Caught On Tape 3'.
UPN fills the night with 'WWE Smackdown!'.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Biography' (Simon Cowell), then the movie 'My Cousin Vinny'.
AMC offers the movie 'Live & Let Die', followed by the movie 'You Only Live Twice', then the movie 'From Russia With Love'.
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Ollier;
[7pm] 'House Invaders' - Yardley Wood;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Dover;
[8pm] 'House Invaders' - Birstall, Yorkshire;
[8:30pm] 'House Invaders' - Shelf, Halifax;
[9pm] 'Faking It' - Video Games Tester to Racing Driver;
[10pm] 'Coupling' - Split;
[11pm] 'House Invaders' - Birstall, Yorkshire;
[11:30pm] 'House Invaders' - Shelf, Halifax;
[12am] 'Faking It' - Video Games Tester to Racing Driver;
[1am] 'Coupling' - Split;
[1:40am] 'The Telly' - Quarter 1 2004;
[2am] 'House Invaders' - Yardley Wood;
[2:30am] 'Changing Rooms' - Dover;
[3am] 'Faking It' - Video Games Tester to Racing Driver;
[4am] 'Coupling' - Split;
[4:40am] 'The Telly' - Quarter 1 2004;
[5am] 'House Invaders' - Birstall, Yorkshire;
[5:30am] 'House Invaders' - Shelf, Halifax; and
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EST)
Bravo has 'West Wing', 'Fast Eddie', 'Golden Globes', 'Queer Eye', and 'West Wing'.
Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', 'Crank Yankers', 'Insomniac', 'South Park', 'The Man Show', and another 'The Man Show'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Erika Christensen.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'The Real Attila The Hun', 'Ivan The Terrible: Might & Madness', 'Caligula: Reign Of Madness', and 'The Catacombs Of Rome'.
SciFi has the movie 'Primal Force', followed by the movie 'Dog Soldiers'.
TCM:
[7:30am] 'Stage Door Canteen' (1943);
[10am] 'The Bugle Sounds' (1942);
[12pm] 'Juke Girl' (1942) [WARNING: stars Ronald Reagan] ;
[1:45pm] 'Joe Smith, American' (1942);
[3pm] 'This Time For Keeps' (1942);
[4:15pm] 'Dangerous Moonlight' (1942);
[6pm] 'All Through The Night' (1942);
[8pm] 'Come Back, Little Sheba' (1952);
[10pm] 'The Bridge Of San Luis Rey' (1944);
[12am] 'The Little Foxes' (1941);
[2am] 'The Trials of Oscar Wilde' (1960);
[4:15am] 'Beat The Devil' (1954). (ALL TIMES EST)
U.N. Secretary General Kofi Annan, second left, is presented the German Media Award 2003 in Baden-Baden, southern Germany, on Wednesday, Jan. 21, 2004, by Karl-Heinz Koegel, the founder of the Media Control group, right. Watching the scene are composer and former 'Eurythmics' member Dave Stewart, left, and former U.S. President Bill Clinton, second right.
Photo by Winfried Rothermel
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Best Numbers - Yet
'Monk'
The USA Network's comedy series "Monk" hit a new ratings high with the opening episode of the second portion of its second season.
Friday's episode drew 6 million viewers in 4.2 million homes, the largest audience ever for the Golden Globe-nominated series starring Tony Shalhoub as obsessive-compulsive detective Adrian Monk.
The episode also posted its best numbers in households (4.6 rating), adults 25-54 (3.2) and adults 18-49 (2.4), beating the previous top-rated episode -- the second-season premiere in June -- by 12%, 14% and 14%, respectively.
'Monk'
Heads 'Focker' Clan
Dustin Hoffman
Dustin Hoffman has been cast as Ben Stiller's father in "Meet the Fockers," the sequel to the 2000 comedy hit "Meet the Parents."
As with the original, the Universal Pictures project is being directed by Jay Roach. Stiller, Robert De Niro, Blythe Danner and Teri Polo are returning in their original roles.
The sequel sees Greg Focker (Stiller) and his fiancee, Pam Byrnes (Polo), thinking everything is hunky-dory now that Greg has won over his soon-to-be in-laws, Jack (De Niro) and Dina Byrnes (Danner). But that's before Pam's parents meet Greg's parents, the Fockers.
Dustin Hoffman
Bette Midler, second from right, and her Harlets perform at the Fleet Center as part of Midler's Kiss My Brass Tour in Boston, Tuesday, Jan. 20, 2004.
Photo by Robert E. Klein
Busted
Art Garfunkel
Art Garfunkel, 62, had a small amount of marijuana in his jacket pocket when a state trooper stopped the limo Saturday afternoon in Hurley, 55 miles southwest of Albany, the Daily Freeman of Kingston reported.
The trooper smelled marijuana after approaching the vehicle, in which Garfunkel was the lone passenger.
Garfunkel, of Manhattan, was scheduled to appear in court on Jan. 28 on the charge, which carries a possible $100 fine, or he could respond by mail.
Art Garfunkel
Receiving AFI Star Award
Diane Keaton
Diane Keaton will receive the AFI Star Award and playwright August Wilson will be given the Freedom of Speech Award at the 10th annual U.S. Comedy Arts Festival next month.
Previous winners of the AFI Star Award include Steve Martin, Mike Myers, Rob Reiner and Billy Crystal. Past recipients of the Freedom of Speech Award include Michael Moore and the Smothers Brothers.
The 10th annual comedy festival, sponsored by HBO, runs March 3-7.
Diane Keaton
www.hbocomedyfestival.com
UPDATED FOR 2004!
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Disney Ally Loses Pooh Bid
Milne Granddaughter
A federal appeals court has denied an appeal by the granddaughter of British author A.A. Milne to claim rights to Winnie the Pooh, a setback to the ally of the Walt Disney Co., court documents showed on Wednesday.
The denial of the appeal by the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals was a victory for the Slesinger family, which owns the U.S. merchandising rights to the lucrative Pooh franchise and has been locked in a decade-long legal dispute with Disney.
Disney joined Milne in her original suit in November 2002 and had struck a deal with her to continue marketing Pooh merchandise if she recaptured the rights to the honey-loving bear.
Milne had sought to recapture the rights under a 1998 change in U.S. copyright law. Her grandfather had sold the U.S. marketing rights to the Slesinger family in 1930.
The Slesinger family in turn assigned the rights to Disney in 1961.
Milne Granddaughter
A model of the 76th Academy Awards set design is displayed at a news conference, Wednesday, Jan. 21, 2004, at the Pickford Center for Motion Picture Study in Los Angeles. The telecast is to air Feb. 29.
Photo by Kevork Djansezian
Says He Didn't Fight With Jack White
Jason Stollsteimer
Jason Stollsteimer of the Von Bondies is rejecting Jack White's claim of self-defense in their fight last December 13 in Detroit. White has been charged with misdemeanor aggravated assault in the incident during a show at a local club, at which White allegedly struck Stollsteimer repeatedly, sending him to the hospital.
Stollsteimer told LAUNCH that he never took at swing at the White Stripes leader. "It wasn't a fight," Stollsteimer said. "I never even hit him. I didn't know who it was. It took 'til the second thing he said for me even to realize who it was, 'cause I hadn't seen him in a year."
Stollsteimer also told LAUNCH that he has no idea why White--who coproduced the Von Bondies' first album, 2001's Lack Of Communication--was so angry at him. "I have no idea about the real reason why--I mean, I'm not him--'cause that's the question everybody wants to know," Stollsteimer said. "I don't know. It could be a million things, but nothing that I have done in the last two years has anything to do with it."
Jason Stollsteimer
King Of The Lying Liars
Viewership Slips
About 30 percent fewer Americans watched resident Bush deliver his State of the Union message this year than last -- possibly because last year's showdown with Saddam Hussein made for better ratings.
A total of 43.4 million viewers watched the president deliver his nationally televised State of the Union address on Tuesday night, nearly 20 million fewer than tuned in to last year's pre-Iraq-war speech to Congress, according to Nielsen Media Research.
According to preliminary Nielsen figures from the nation's 55 largest metropolitan areas, NBC scored the biggest audience for the speech, with a 6.8 household rating and 10 share.
Viewership Slips
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Expects 'Worst to Come'
Mel Gibson
The controversy that has followed Mel Gibson's film about the death of Christ could be persecution or just inspired publicity, but the film-maker himself predicted "the worst is yet to come" on Wednesday at a meeting with 4,500 evangelical Christian pastors.
A day after reports that a high Vatican official denied that Pope John Paul gave a thumbs up to his film, "The Passion of the Christ," Gibson prepared to show it to another hand-picked audience, this time the Global Pastors Network conference meeting in Orlando.
As with past screenings, media were barred, as were Jewish groups worried that the film could incite anti-Semitism if it suggests Jewish authorities in Jerusalem 2,000 years ago were largely responsible for the crucifixion of the man Christians worship as the incarnation of God.
Gibson did not mention the Vatican denial when he addressed the pastors. He thanked them for their prayers, but warned, somewhat ominously "I anticipate the worst is yet to come. I hope I'm wrong. I hope I'm wrong."
Mel Gibson
Viet Nam Veteran Eddie Randolph looks over 500 pairs of boots laid out in Chicago's Federal plaza, January 21, 2004. The boots were placed there to remember the service men and women killed in the War in Iraq.
Photo by Frank Polich
Music Industry Sues Hundreds
RIAA
The U.S. music industry on Wednesday said it is suing 532 individuals identified only as "John Doe" in anti-piracy lawsuits after a recent court decision forced record labels to abandon earlier methods of tracking down online copyright infringers.
The Recording Industry Association of America, which has been fighting the digital piracy it blames for a three-year slump in CD sales, said it filed four separate suits against 532 users of undisclosed Internet service providers (ISPs).
In a new legal tactic, the trade group identified song swappers by numerical Web addresses and then plans to discover through traditional subpoenas their names and locations.
RIAA
Scarf Fetches $88,000 At Auction
King Louis XVI
A scarf worn by France's King Louis XVI before he was guillotined during the French Revolution was bought at auction for 70,000 euros (88,000 dollars) by a French-American family.
"It's a historic auction, a world record" for a piece of historic clothing, said auctioneer Philippe Rouillac who chose January 21 for the sale as it marks the anniversary of the king's guillotining in 1793.
He said the buyers were a "large Franco-American family attached to the royal family who through this gesture wanted to recall to the French and Americans the decisive part played by Louis XVI for the United States' independence.
King Louis XVI
Tapped to Help Save La. Swamps
Mr. Bill
Mr. Bill, the "Saturday Night Live" clay character from the 1970s whose misadventures usually left him squished, will be part of a campaign aimed at teaching people especially children how Louisiana is losing its coastal marshes and swamps.
"I wish I had a quick three-word synopsis for it other than maybe Mr. Bill says 'Ohh, nooo!!! the coastal erosion,'" said Walter Williams, Mr. Bill's creator and a native of New Orleans.
The campaign will be launched next summer with Mr. Bill and a gang of "Estuarians" Salty the Shrimp, Eddy the Eagle, and others talking about the shrinking coast.
What's been lost is mind-boggling: Since 1930 more than 1,900 square miles of marsh Louisiana's "trembling prairie" no longer exist. That's an area roughly the size of Delaware. And the loss of land continues at about 30 square miles a year.
Mr. Bill
www.mrbill.com
Williams' documentary on the Mississippi delta and sinking Louisiana
America's Wetland campaign
Deported - A Warning to Aussies?
Ian "Molly" Meldrum
Australians have been warned to ensure they have the correct paperwork before trying to enter the United States after the foreign minister found himself powerless to save a pop celebrity from deportation for having the wrong visa.
The personal intervention of Foreign Minister Alexander Downer failed to save pop guru and television frontman Ian "Molly" Meldrum from being handcuffed, locked up for 12 hours and then unceremoniously sent packing after he arrived at Los Angeles airport without an I-visa.
Meldrum, who has interviewed superstars such as Madonna and Michael Jackson, landed in California to interview Latin pop singer Enrique Iglesias for an Australian television station.
But immigration officials detained him when they discovered he did not have the special visa for foreign journalists planning to work in the United States.
Ian "Molly" Meldrum
Hollywood's Newest Tourist Attraction
The Erotic Museum
One look at Hollywood's newest tourist attraction and it's easy to mistake it for any number of adult shops along the popular Walk of Fame.
The nude pictures, sex toys and stag films aren't meant to arouse but to edify. This is, after all, the Erotic Museum, which pays tribute to all things sexual, from the tame to the tawdry. It chronicles sex through the ages with nude abstracts by Pablo Picasso, erotic jade figurines from ancient China, vintage sex toys and sultry computer-animated dancers.
For nearly $13 US for the price of admission, visitors can touch rubber toys or peruse patent applications for various oddball erotic inventions such as a diagram of a newfangled "female security device." No one under 18 is admitted.
The Erotic Museum
www.theeroticmuseum.com
Real State Of The Union
George W Bush
501: Number of American servicemen to die in Iraq from the beginning of the war - so far
0: Number of American combat deaths in Germany after the Nazi surrender to the Allies in May 1945
0: Number of coffins of dead soldiers returning home from Iraq that the Bush administration has allowed to be photographed
0: Number of funerals or memorials that President Bush has attended for soldiers killed in Iraq
100: Number of fund-raisers attended by Bush or Vice-President Dick Cheney in 2003
2: Number of nations that Bush has attacked and taken over since coming into the White House
36%: Increase in the number of desertions from the US army since 1999
1983: The year in which Donald Rumsfeld gave Saddam Hussein a pair of golden spurs
$127 billion: Amount of US budget surplus in the year that Bush became President in 2001
$374 billion: Amount of US budget deficit in the fiscal year for 2003
$1.58 billion: Average amount by which the US national debt increases each day
2.4 million: Number of Americans who have lost their jobs during the three years of the Bush administration
1st: George W Bush became the first American president to ignore the Geneva Conventions by refusing to allow inspectors access to US-held prisoners of war
9: Number of members of Bush's defence policy board who also sit on the corporate board of, or advise, at least one defence contractor
For a lot more, George W Bush
Charlie, 104, one of late British Prime Minister Winston Churchill's parrots in Reigate, Surrey. Churchill bought Charlie in 1937, giving him a boy's name despite the fact that the bird is a female.
Photo by Nicolas Asfouri
'The Osbournes'
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