'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
He's Been Busy, Again
The Worried Shrimp
'RULE THE WORLD'
from Alvin
MIDI
RULE THE WORLD
{Sung to 'Change the World' by Eric Clapton}
{As Sung By pResident Bush}
{intro}
Time to invade Iraq
Knock them off the map
Drop smart bombs on Kim
That'll make him disappear
Then I would get to use
All my evil schemes
But for now I know:
'It's only in my dreams!'
That I can rule the world
I would be the one in charge of everything
It would be controlled by me and Poppy's friends
I'm not being rude:
'I will rule the world!'
I'm practically a king
You must do as I say
I'll outlaw liberty
Bow to my dynasty!
I'll click with just one burst
SDI's destructive ray
Till then I'll have to curse:
'Waiting for that day!'
That I can devastate the world
I shall own all oil fields in the universe
There won't be nothing power can't buy
Watch me take charge of the world
I'm not being rude:
'I will rule the world!'
{break}
I could dominate the world
Everyone would have to show me some respect
No one shall insult me - 'well, not to my face!'
If I could defeat evil doer's
Then perhaps I could just rule the world
Hey, I'm not being rude, but:
'I will rule the world!'...
~~ Alvin D
Thanks, Alvin!
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Very pretty day, as the pictures from the Rose Bowl showed.
Disney did a crappy job with 2 out of the 3 football games. The early game with Penn State/Auburn looked & sounded like it was being handled by the 'C' team, or maybe a high school production class. The 2nd game,
the Rose Bowl, looked & sounded like the 'B' team - maybe an early college-level production class, with a 'legacy' announcer. Only the late game (Sugar Bowl) looked or sounded like network tv, with professionals.
A new low for the mouse.
Still using the loaner computer. : (
Tonight, Thursday, CBS offers nothing fresh - RERUN 'CSI: Crime Scene Investigation', followed by another RERUN 'CSI: Crime Scene Investigation', and then a RERUN 'Without A Trace'.
Scheduled on a RERUN Dave are Stupid Pet Tricks, Lisa Kudrow, and Audioslave.
Scheduled on a RERUN Craiggers are Halle Berry, Oliver Hudson, and Kelly Rowland.
NBC opens with a RERUN 'Friends', then a fresh 'Scrubs', followed by a RERUN 'Will & Grace', then a fresh 'Good Morning, Miami', and capped with a RERUN 'ER'.
Scheduled on a fresh Jay are Brittany Murphy, Michael Chiklis, and Heather Headley.
Scheduled on Conan is Ray Liotta.
Scheduled on a RERUN Carson Daly (from 11/13/02), are Rebecca Romijn-Stamos, and the Wallflowers.
ABC has the 'Orange Bowl', so expect local programming out west after the game.
The WB opens with a RERUN 'Jamie Kennedy', followed by another RERUN 'Jamie Kennedy', which is followed by a RERUN hour-long 'special' 'Jamie Kennedy'.
Faux has the movie 'Election'.
UPN kills the night with 'WWE Smackdown!'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
New Governor of Michigan
Jennifer Granholm
Jennifer Granholm, right, takes the oath of office in Lansing, Mich., Wednesday, Jan. 1, 2003, becoming the first-ever female governor of Michigan and the first Democrat
to hold the office in more than a decade. The 43-year-old, who served as the state's attorney general the past four years, was sworn in on the Capitol steps by U.S. 6th
Circuit Court of Appeals Judge Damon Keith. Looking on from left are daughters Kathryn, 13; Cecelia, behind Judge Keith, son Jack, 5 and husband Dan Mulhern.
Photo by Carlos Osorio
Free Rolling Stones Concert In LA
Stop Global Warming
To Tell Boxer's Story
Muhammad Ali Center
A two-floor exhibit at the Muhammad Ali Center will tell the story of the boxing great — from childhood to heavyweight champion to globe-trotting humanitarian.
The center is expected to open in downtown Louisville in late 2004. Design work on the exhibits is about 40 percent complete, said Mike Fox, president of the center.
The tribute to the Louisville native will feature six "portals," each spotlighting a trait the designers attribute to Ali: charity, confidence, dedication, spirituality, respect and conviction.
Ali and his wife, Lonnie, have monitored the development of the exhibits. The preliminary work "blew Muhammad's socks right off," capturing what he is all about, Lonnie Ali said recently.
The exhibit also deals with Ali's turbulent days in the 1960s when he joined the Nation of Islam and refused induction into the Army on religious grounds during the Vietnam War.
The Muhammad Ali Center will have about 93,000 square feet on six levels. The Ali Center's construction budget is $41 million. About $34 million has been raised or pledged.
Muhammad Ali Center
Muhammad Ali Center Web site
Renewed Vows on New Year's Eve
Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne
Ozzy and Sharon Osbourne renewed their wedding vows during a New Year's Eve party at the Beverly Hills Hotel that included hundreds of guests.
The couple got married on July 4, 1982, but delayed their 20th anniversary celebration because of Sharon's battle with colon cancer. They announced their plans in November.
Sharon wore a cream-colored wedding gown and diamond tiara as she was escorted down the aisle by her father, Entertainment Tonight said. The couple's youngest daughter Kelly served as flower girl.
Music was provided by the 1970s group "Village People."
Guests included singer Justin Timberlake and Chris Rock.
Ozzy & Sharon Osbourne
The Osbournes
Entertainment Tonight
Las Vegas
The Strip
Fireworks grace the top of the Las Vegas strip hotels shortly after the New Near Wednesday, Jan. 1, 2003. $500,000 in fireworks reportedly went up in smoke ringing in the new year in Las Vegas.
Photo by Eric Jamison
First Driver to Host 'SNL'
Jeff Gordon
Jeff Gordon, the four-time Winston Cup champion will become the first NASCAR driver to host NBC's "Saturday Night Live" when he headlines the Jan. 11 show.
Gordon, one of auto racing's most popular drivers, has appeared in numerous commercials and is an occasional fill-in host on "Live With Regis and Kelly."
Fran Tarkenton, O.J. Simpson, Wayne Gretzky, Chris Evert, Michael Jordan and Derek Jeter are among the athletes who have hosted "SNL."
Jeff Gordon
Official Job Title - 'Nipple Tweaker'
J.Lo
We didn't believe it when we first heard it, but it was true - some lucky son of a gun working on Jennifer Lopez's video, "Jenny On the Block," had the cushy job of "Nipple Tweaker."
The video, when it came out, showed Lopez writhing around in a mesh top in which she looked chilly. But we expected her to be goose-pimply after we saw photos of the guy who was prepping
her between takes.
J.Lo
Comes Back Like Gangbusters
`The Shield'
When it premiered last March, "The Shield" caught viewers by surprise.
Here, it seemed, was another police drama. Starring Michael Chiklis, roly-poly star of "The Commish" a decade ago. Airing on FX, a cable network best known for identity crisis after it bowed in 1994
with live talk for women and the slogan "Television Made Fresh Daily," then switched its focus to young men and pledged "anti-tude."
Now "The Shield," easily the best new series on television last year, returns for its sophomore season Tuesday at 10 p.m. EST, only months after knocking critics and viewers for a loop with its raw power — and finally putting FX on the map.
"The Shield" also vaulted its star to a surprise Best Actor Emmy for his performance as LAPD Detective Vic Mackey, the ferocious leader of an anti-gang strike team. And last month Chiklis also landed
a Golden Globe nomination (those awards will be presented Jan. 19.
An actor once typed as a middle-aged joe is, at 39, reborn on "The Shield." It's as obvious as the 60 pounds he chiseled off for Mackey's pitbull physique.
For the rest, `The Shield'
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Mmmmmmm - Calamari!
'Sin Eater' Delayed
Twentieth Century Fox has pulled Brian Helgeland's occult thriller "Sin Eater" from its Jan. 17 berth because the special effects were unintentionally funny.
The effects, originally handled by Mill Film in London, are now being done by Santa Monica-based Asylum. A Fox spokeswoman said the studio and Helgeland are now much happier with the progress of the f/x at the Asylum.
The movie's title has also been changed: the picture is now called "The Order," and while no release date has been set, a late-summer date is a possibility.
The title refers to an ancient order of rogue priests who would eat food off a corpse, taking unforgiven sins upon themselves and absolving the deceased. In the Heath Ledger starrer, a sin eater resurfaces in
modern-day Rome, and begins to allow great evil to go unpunished.
The picture depicts sins flying out of the human body. Post-production insiders who spoke on the condition of anonymity said the problem was that Mill's "Sin Eater" effects were producing hilarity instead of fear.
One insider described the exiting sins as "looking like calamari."
'Sin Eater' Delayed
Athens
Parthenon
Fireworks illuminate the ancient Parthenon atop the Acropolis Hill in Athens, at the start of the New Year on Wednesday, Jan. 1, 2003.
Photo by Aris Messinis
CIA Hitman or Practical Joker?
Chuck Barris
"Gong Show" host Chuck Barris would kill for a little respect — and says he has.
The new film "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind," based on his 1982 autobiography, depicts his alleged work as a CIA hitman while he was creating such shows as "The Dating Game" and "The Newlywed Game."
Is he imagining things, telling an outrageous truth ... or just toying with the public that once mocked him?
I'll never say for sure whether it is true or isn't true. I'm taking that to my grave," the 73-year-old Barris says with a laugh.
The movie is the directorial debut of George Clooney, who also co-stars as Barris' CIA recruiter. Actor Sam Rockwell stars as Barris, and Julia Roberts is a seductive secret contact.
Born in Philadelphia, Barris was a management trainee at NBC before working at ABC as a network spy monitoring Dick Clark's "American Bandstand." Barris also wrote the hit song "Palisades Park," recorded by Freddy "Boom Boom" Cannon.
For more, Chuck Barris
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Returns With Marathon Concert
Phish
Phish put its long-suffering fans out of their misery in style.
Returning from a two-year hiatus, the Vermont jam band with the obsessive fan base played a long, high-energy show at Madison Square Garden on New Year's Eve
before a raucous crowd, with some fans paying more than $1,000 to get into the sold-out concert.
A band known for its New Year's Eve showmanship didn't disappoint: Tom Hanks made a surprise stage appearance, and as the clock struck midnight costumed dancers
on stilts spread through the audience and fake snow and white balloons tumbled from the rafters.
Phish stuck largely to old favorites, doing its fans a favor by ignoring the material from its generally mediocre new studio album, "Round Room," until the third set. They also shied away from
the long, funky dance grooves they had relied on heavily in late-'90s concerts. The order of the night was rock and roll: Guitarist-singer Trey Anastasio whipped up the crowd's frenzy with heavy,
distorted riffs and high, wailing notes to cap off long jams.
For more, Phish
Australia
Sydney Harbor
Fireworks explode over Sydney Harbor Bridge and Opera House as the New Year is welcomed in with a spectacular fireworks show, January 1, 2003. Cities across the world tightened security for New Year's
Eve celebrations with Sydney taking Olympics-style precautions for a party which attracted hundreds of thousands of people.
Photo by Tim Wimborne
'24' Reinvigorates Career
Kiefer Sutherland
Kiefer Sutherland's career has been reinvigorated by the Fox show "24" and he knows it.
"Right now, my life revolves around this show," Sutherland told TV Guide for its Jan. 4 issue. "When something like '24' happens, you bow your head and say thank you."
Friends say Sutherland has always been a hard worker, even when he had a wild image as a younger actor.
"When we did 'Lost Boys,' Kiefer had a 6 a.m. makeup call," said director Joel Schumacher, who has worked with Sutherland on four films. "He'd party until four, drive to Warner Bros., park his
car next to the security guard's gate and ask the guard to wake him at six."
Kiefer Sutherland
Says She Was Lost
Diana Ross
Singer Diana Ross said she was trying to rent a video and got lost when she was stopped for allegedly driving under the influence, according a police report.
Tucson police Officer Scott Sullivan stopped Ross early Monday morning after someone reported that a vehicle was driving south in the northbound lanes of a street in northeastern Tucson.
Sullivan's report, released Tuesday, indicated that he stopped Ross, 58, at a Blockbuster video store, where she had pulled into a handicapped space. She twice denied she had been drinking,
and said she had been lost and was "just trying to get here to rent a video."
The report also said Ross consented to a field sobriety test but fell down and laughed while trying to stand on one leg and count to 10. In another test, it said, she skipped a couple of
letters and doubled others when asked to write the alphabet.
Ross was cited on three misdemeanor counts related to driving under the influence and has a Jan. 13 court date. Police said breath tests showed Ross had a blood-alcohol level of at least
0.20 percent, more than twice Arizona's legal limit of 0.08.
Diana Ross
Major Gross-Out Warning
Chinese Performance Art
A British television station defended a show in which a Chinese performance artist apparently eats a dead baby, calling it a "thought-provoking film about extreme art in China."
Channel 4, which upset viewers with a dissection of a human corpse last month, plans to air the documentary in which artist Zhu Yu shows off photographs of himself washing a dead stillborn baby in a sink and putting its dismembered parts in his mouth.
In a preview provided to Reuters, Zhu is also shown having a piece of his own body grafted onto a pig. He describes his work as expressing his Christian faith, saying: "Jesus is always related to death, blood, wounds, etc."
The show's presenter, a Sunday Times newspaper art critic, calls the work "suffering for your art on a messianic scale."
He added: "I expected to be horrified by him, but I found him peaceful, monastic and even charming. When the cameras were switched off he admitted he'd vomited twice before going through his baby performance. But it was crucial to do it, so he forced himself."
A spokesman for Channel 4 said the program, which airs on Thursday at 11 p.m., will carry warnings that viewers may be alarmed and noted the hour complies with rules banning material unsuitable for children before 9 p.m.
Chinese Performance Art
Postponed In Philly
Mummers Parade
Comic Mummer Joe Calabrese struts during a rain storm in South Philadelphia Wednesday, Jan. 1, 2003. The annual Mummers Parade was postponed until Saturday because of rain.
Photo by Chris Gardner
'The Osbournes'
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