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'Blog Day Afternoon'
from Alvin
'KING FRAUD'S SONG'
PALM SUNDAY: The sixth and last Sunday of Lent, and the beginning of Holy Week. A Sunday of the highest rank, not even a commemoration of any King {kind} is being permitted.
MIDI
KING FRAUD'S SONG
{Sung to 'King Herod's Song' from the musical 'Jesus Christ Superstar'}
W, I'm overjoyed to meet you face to face
You've been getting quite a name all around the place
Bombings that never ceased, you're having quite a feast
And now I understand you're a pRez
According to the press release?
So, if you are the pRez of the great United States
Prove to me that you're the one
Find all the weapons of Saddam
That's all you need to do, and I'll know it's all true
Come on, George W!
Man, you just won't believe the hit you've made 'round here
You are all we talk about, 'Invader of the Year'
Oh, what a pity, seems no smoking gun
Still I'm sure that you can rock the UN if you want
So, if you are the pRez of the great United States
Prove to me that you're no fool
Tell me all about Cheney's Halliburton
If you answer that for me, then I'll secure the oil free
Come on, George W!
I only ask things I'd ask any superstar
What is it that you have got that puts you where you are?
Oh, The Boy of Poppy, who wants a dynasty
Who's dying to preserved the corrupt Bushes' legacy
So, if you are the pRez of the great United States
Spell for me: 'compassionate'
I heard you said that on your speech
Or, has something gone wrong, why do you take so long?
Come on, George W!
Hey, are you scared, W?
Nervous or simply no clue?
You're a joke, you're not the pRez
You're nothing but a fraud!
Evict him I say, he's got no brain, anyway
Get out, you're a fraud!
{Get out, you're a fraud!}
Get out, Your Fraudulency!
Get out of my way!...
Alvin (-.-)
Thanks, Alvin!
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Day started sunny, clouds rolled in, and now it's raining.
Was going to watch Dennis Miller, but 'Arsenic & Old Lace' was on KCET.
Going behind the Orange Curtain today. It's a family thing, and I'm going to try to be very, very good. ; )
Tonight, Sunday, CBS is supposed to open the evening with '60 Minutes', followed by a FRESH
'Greek Life', then a FRESH 'Becker', followed by a RERUN 'CSI: Crime Scene Invetigation', then a
RERUN 'Without A Trace'.
NBC is supposed to start with 'Dateline', followed by a FRESH 'American Dreams', then a RERUN
'Law & Order: Criminal Intent', and then a FRESH 'Boomtown'.
ABC is supposed to start the night with a RERUN of the movie 'Dr. Doolittle' (Eddie Murphy version), followed by a RERUN
'Alias', and then a RERUN 'Dragnet'.
The WB has the traditional weekly RERUN 'Gilmore Girls', followed by a FRESH 'Charmed', and then a FRESH
'Black Sash'.
Faux has a RERUN 'King Of The Hill', followed by a FRESH 'King Of The Hill', then a FRESH 'Simpsons', followed by a
FRESH 'Oliver Beene', then a FRESH 'Malcolm', and finally, a FRESH 'The Pitts'.
UPN, as usual, has the weekly RERUN 'Enterprise', followed by 'Stargate SG-1'.
TCM features Harold Lloyd, and is well worth the effort.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Astronaut Buzz Aldrin shows off a joke t-shirt after finishing last in the 10-lap 27th Annual Toyota Pro/Celebrity Charity Race in Long Beach, California, April 12, 2003.
Photo by Lucy Nicholson
Take Back The Media!
World's Oldest Chimpanzee
Cheeta
Cheeta lives in this desert resort town (Palm Springs, CA) like a lot of old movie stars, painting, playing the piano and watching his old movies. But as one of Palm Springs' only retired chimpanzees, he stands out.
The last actor to have played the lead chimpanzee role in the Tarzan movies of the 1930s and '40s, Cheeta is 71 now — the oldest chimp in the world, according to the Guinness Book of Records.
"He's just part of the family," said Dan Westfall, who saved Cheeta's life when he adopted him from Tony Gentry, an animal trainer who worked in Hollywood.
Gentry, Westfall's uncle, originally left instructions in his will to have Cheeta euthanized after his death because he worried that the 142-pound chimp would wind up in a research lab. His nephew talked him out of that by promising he'd always take care of Cheeta.
Westfall and Abe Karajerjian care for Cheeta and other animals, including orangutans and monkeys, at a house they have nicknamed Casa de Cheeta.
Cheeta spends his time playing with preschool toys, thumbing through magazines including National Geographic and playing the piano. In addition to his old movies, he likes watching Animal Planet and cartoons on television.
Cheeta
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Guesting On 'The Simpsons'
Tony Blair
British Prime Minister Tony Blair has taken time out from the war with Iraq to star in an episode of the hit US television show "The Simpsons".
From his official London residence, Blair recorded three lines of dialogue for the show on Friday, the Daily Mirror tabloid said on its front page.
According to the Daily Mirror, Blair recorded his piece after attending a passing-out parade of young cadets at Britain's Sandhurst military academy.
Blair is to appear in the next series of the cult show in an episode set in Britain. Provisionally entitled the 'Regina Monologues,' it will show an animated version of Blair giving tips on tourism to the show's protagonists -- namely Homer Simpson and his dysfunctional family.
Tony Blair
He's Writing Scripts
John Milius
He's been called the "George Patton of Film Directors," so it's only natural that pistol-packing writer/director John Milius is writing "future war scenarios" for the Pentagon. Milius - who penned "Apocalypse Now" and
the "Go ahead, make my day" line for Clint Eastwood's "Dirty Harry" - is a consultant at the Institue for Creative Technology, which devises "advanced military simulations" with the help of studios and video game designers.
Milius, who directed and co-wrote "Conan the Barbarian" with Oliver Stone, also sits on the board of the National Rifle Association.
John Milius
L.A. Police Probe Alleged Fight
Sharon Osbourne
Police say they are investigating an alleged fight between reality-TV star Sharon Osbourne and a Hollywood agent.
Osbourne, rocker husband Ozzy and their son, Jack, were dining at Koi Japanese restaurant when the alleged fracas occurred Thursday evening, police Sgt. John Pasquariello said Friday. The other woman allegedly involved was Renee Tab of the talent agency ICM.
Sharon Osbourne "started with spitting on her and calling her names," said Tab's attorney, Nejila K. Brent.
Osbourne spokeswoman Lisa Vega issued a statement saying her client had been "viciously assaulted" and was treated at a hospital for injuries. In an interview, she refused to characterize the injuries.
Tab and Osbourne have been at odds since January over whether the agent belonged at an Osbourne party where she won the door prize, a $15,000 necklace.
Sharon Osbourne
Joining Banderas on Broadway
Melanie Griffith
Melanie Griffith is joining her husband, Antonio Banderas, on Broadway.
While Banderas plays a women-obsessed film director in "Nine," Griffith will be portraying show-biz floozy Roxie Hart in the long-running revival of "Chicago."
Griffith, star of movies such as "Working Girl" and "Crazy in Alabama," will join the cast of "Chicago," now in its seventh year on Broadway, on July 11. She is scheduled to appear in the musical at the Ambassador Theatre through Sept. 28.
Melanie Griffith
Childhood Home Renovated
Johnny Carson
The childhood home of retired talk-show host Johnny Carson is being renovated by two South Dakota men.
"The house is kind of magical to me," said Rick Runge of Sioux Falls. "I expect him to walk through the door and say, 'Pick a card.'"
Carson, now 77, grew up in Norfolk (Nebraska) and graduated from Norfolk High School.
Runge and Jim Pruett of Brandon say restoring and maintaining the four-bedroom house is important. After all, Runge said, it was Carson's first stage.
The two men say they've written Carson, asking him for details about the original decor and furnishings so they can try to duplicate them, but so far, he hasn't responded.
They aren't quite sure what they're going to do with the house, which they're restoring to the way it looked in the 1940s.
Johnny Carson
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
University Refuses to Cancel Show
50 Cent
City manager Jane Howington asked Miami University to cancel an April 23 concert by rapper 50 Cent because of public safety concerns, but the school says the show will go on.
The concert is sold out, and a ticket only could be obtained with a Miami University student identification, university spokeswoman Holly Wissing said Friday.
Campus police and officials say no tickets will be sold at the door, alcohol won't be allowed and there will be adequate security.
In an April 2 letter to Miami President James Garland, Howington said she sees the potential for a "public safety nightmare."
50 Cent will perform in Millett Hall, the university's basketball arena, about 30 miles northwest of Cincinnati.
50 Cent
50 Cent Web site
U.S. actress Gwyneth Paltrow waves next to the mayor of Talavera de la Reina, Jose Francisco Rivas, Saturday, April 12, 2003, while visiting the Spanish town where she will be honored as an 'Adopted Daughter.' Paltrow has made regular visits to the town over the years since she first visited as part of a cultural exchange when she was 15 years old. Photo by Jose Angel
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Playing Rare Club Show in Orlando
Pearl Jam
A rare Pearl Jam club show on Saturday at the House of Blues in Orlando, Fla., will be available for cybercasting from RealNetworks for a 24-hour window beginning 3 p.m. PST Monday.
Fans will need to download the RealOne player, which is available from the RealOne.com (http://www.realone.com) Web site. The site will feature exclusive audio and video downloads beginning Tuesday, and is also hosting a contest to win a skateboard autographed by Pearl Jam.
Tickets for the show were made available exclusively to radio station contest winners. The band was originally scheduled to play a similar show last November at New York's Irving Plaza, but it was scrapped for logistical reasons.
Pearl Jam
Arraigned on Theft Charges
Chef Conrad Gallagher
Celebrity Irish chef Conrad Gallagher was arraigned in federal court Friday on charges he stole three paintings worth $50,000 from a Dublin hotel where he once ran a popular restaurant. He was ordered held without bail pending an extradition hearing that has not yet been scheduled.
Acting on recent information provided by Irish investigators, U.S. marshals arrested Gallagher outside a Manhattan bar he owns called Traffic, Marshals Service spokesman John Sheehan said.
Gallagher, 31, who has appeared on television and cooked for stars in Ireland, fled the country last year on the eve of his trial. He has claimed he is the rightful owner of the paintings, according to Irish press reports.
Chef Conrad Gallagher
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Donate $66,000
Hootie & the Blowfish
Rock group Hootie & the Blowfish have donated $66,000 to a program that provides adults with computer skills, draws parents into schools and helps children read.
Two band members, Mark Bryan and Dean Felber, joined state Superintendent Inez Tenenbaum to announce the gift Thursday.
Family learning centers provide free computer lessons to adults, such as how to use a spreadsheet, while their children use computers to hone their reading skills. After completing the course, along with required community service, graduates receive a refurbished computer.
The program at four centers opened last year with a grant from the U.S. Education Department. The money from the Hootie & the Blowfish Foundation, coupled with a $15,000 grant from the city of Charleston and other donations, will keep the program running this year.
Hootie & the Blowfish
Hootie & the Blowfish Web site
A penitent does his penance with the procession of the 'Estandartes' on the Spanish island of Palma de Mallorca on April 11, 2003. Hundreds of Easter processions take place throughout Spain during Holy Week around, drawing thousands of visitors.
Photo by Dani Cardona
Pay Record Amount For Sydney Penthouse
Newlywed Crowes
Film star Russell Crowe and his bride Danielle Spencer have reportedly spent a record 14 million dollars (8.4 million US) for a penthouse apartment overlooking Sydney harbor, the Sydney Morning Herald reported.
The Crowes, who married Monday at the actor's sprawling property a five-hour drive north of Sydney, chose a penthouse at the end of the exclusive Woolloomooloo Finger Wharf for their city home, the Herald said.
The third-floor residence was previously owned by a local property developer who spent nearly 10 million dollars on renovations in 1998.
Newlywed Crowes
Judge Says Oscar-Winning Camera Lens Doesn't Work
Panavision/Frazier Lens
A federal judge in Los Angeles has nullified the patent for one of Hollywood's most advanced camera lenses, saying the cinematographer who won an Academy Award for inventing it lied to U.S. patent examiners about its capabilities.
The Panavision/Frazier lens, invented by Australian wildlife photographer James Frazier, was touted as having revolutionary depth-of-field capabilities. That is, the lens could hold small objects in the foreground and background images in sharp focus at the same time.
Frazier and two others won an Academy Award in 1997 for scientific and technical achievement for developing the lens with Panavision, which had bought exclusive rights to manufacture and rent the lenses in 1994.
On Thursday, U.S. District Judge Gary Feess ruled that Frazier had obtained the patent and his deal with Panavision by convincing patent officials and the company that the lens could defy the laws of physics.
The judge said that in a 2001 deposition in the case, Frazier admitted to misleading Panavision by claiming that he had achieved remarkable depth of field with a single L-shaped lens, when he had actually shot the images with a "trick" photography system known as aerial image relay lenses.
Steve Gainer, a working cinematographer and museum curator for the American Society of Cinematographers said he would be surprised to learn that the lens was not the technological breakthrough it seemed.
Gainer said he had used the lens for commercials and music videos and added that it was employed less often in feature films. He said the lens could not be purchased or taken apart but was rented.
Panavision is the No. 1 maker of cameras, lenses and other accessories for the movie and TV industries. Its equipment, which can only be rented, was used in the making of about three-quarters of films made by major studios in 2002.
Panavision/Frazier Lens
Treasures Plundered
Iraq National Museum
The famed Iraq National Museum, home of extraordinary Babylonian, Sumerian and Assyrian collections and rare Islamic texts, sat empty Saturday — except for shattered glass display cases and cracked pottery bowls that littered the floor.
In an unchecked frenzy of cultural theft, looters who pillaged government buildings and businesses after the collapse of Saddam Hussein's regime also targeted the museum. Gone were irreplaceable archaeological treasures from the Cradle of Civilization.
Everything that could be carried out has disappeared from the museum — gold bowls and drinking cups, ritual masks worn in funerals, elaborately wrought headdresses, lyres studded with jewels — priceless craftsmanship from ancient Mesopotamia.
Much of the looting occurred Thursday, according to a security guard who stood by helplessly as hoards broke into the museum with wheelbarrows and carts and stole priceless jewelry, clay tablets and manuscripts.
Left behind were row upon row of empty glass cases — some smashed up, others left intact — heaps of crumbled pottery and hunks of broken statues scattered across the exhibit floors.
Sensing its treasures could be in peril, museum curators secretly removed antiquities from their display cases before the war and placed them into storage vaults — but to no avail. The doors of the vaults were opened or smashed, and everything was taken, museum workers said. That lead one museum employee to suspect that others familiar with the museum may have participated in the theft.
For the rest, Iraq National Museum
North Pole Trek With Broken Ankle
David Hempleman-Adams
An explorer who became the first person to walk unaided and alone to the North Pole has revealed he trudged the last 60 miles over five days with a broken ankle.
David Hempleman-Adams broke his left ankle when he tumbled off an icefall 16 days into his record-breaking expedition.
Hempleman-Adams, who hobbled into the news conference wearing a fur-lined Arctic jacket and carrying a Union Jack, said he hankered after fish and chips and beer during his 300-mile trek.
"I never eat fish and chips when I'm at home and I never drink beer, but you crave for them when you're away," he said.
The 47-year-old explorer dragged a 150-lb sled across some of the most inhospitable terrain on earth, some of it cut through by ice cliffs and glaciers and some of it "as flat as a witch's bottom".
Sporting patches of frostbite on his thumb and nose, he recalled how he ate nothing but muesli soaked in olive oil, chocolate and dehydrated food for three weeks.
By completing the trip, he has now got a full set of poles. He has been to the geographic, the magnetic and the geomagnetic poles at both ends of the earth.
He dedicated his achievement to Terry Lloyd, an ITN journalist who followed his earlier Arctic expeditions and who was killed last month while covering the war in Iraq.
Hempleman-Adams did not tell his wife and three children he was going to the pole for fear they would worry about his safety. He told them he was going skiing instead.
He said he had still not seen his family since arriving back in Britain on Thursday and was slightly dreading their reaction.
"You've got to be a selfish bastard to go off and do these things anyway," he conceded.
David Hempleman-Adams
Book Tells Americans How to Be French
Bad Timing
Principal author, chef Robert Arbor, says his "Joie de Vivre: Simple French Style for Everyday Living" is "beyond politics" and will quench a thirst deeper than the current tempest in a demitasse.
So does publisher Simon & Schuster, which says the timing may work in the book's favor -- offering closet Francophiles in the United States a guide to pursuing the politically incorrect in the privacy of their homes without having to sneak out to a French restaurant, even as U.S.-French ties are iced by disagreements over the Iraq war.
Arbor, who owns nine New York and Boston restaurants, including seven Le Gamin Cafes, says his book of pictures, recipes and reminiscences about living a good life every day will sell because French culture has survived worse, including wars and revolutions.
"One thing that always stayed around was the way of life, taking time and enjoying moments that are important in the day," the Fontainebleau native said in an interview.
Bad Timing
An unidentified woman carries a sign referring to Augusta National chairman William 'Hootie' Johnson, as she protests with Martha Burk, chair of the National Council of Women's Organizations, against the membership policy of the neaby Augusta National golf club, where the Masters golf tournament is underway in Augusta, April 12, 2003. The group is protesting Augusta National's male-only membership policy.
Photo by Mike Segar
'Ark of Darkness'
"The Ark of Darkness", a Political/Science-Fiction work, tells the tale of a frightening journey into the last place anyone would want to be left behind, Hell.
Set in the present day, a biblical researcher and former astronaut discovers, via satellite imaging, an ancient shipwreck, not on Mount Ararat, the legendary location of Noah's Ark, but 1000 miles due east in the mountains of southern Russia.
The expedition quickly meets with disaster.
'The Osbournes'
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