'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Words Of Wisdom
from Baron Dave
Marty:
Perhaps this will help you remember the spelling:
"It's Haw that separates Stephen King from Stephen Hawking."
-- Baron Dave Romm
////
"I'm so hip, I won't even eat a square meal." -- The Wild Man of
Wildsville, Beany and Cecil, 1961
Thanks, Baron Dave!
Reader Comment
Re: Lady Bugs
Hey Marty,
Your lady bugs are down here in Huntington Beach.
I was over at my daughter's & her husband said he & their son had gone down to the beach and there were thousands of Lady bugs on the walk down. Seems the winds were carrying them along.
When they got home he went out and bought some, released them and within the hour they were all gone. Headed south maybe.
Be patient maybe like pigeons they will find their way back.
Rose G
Thanks, Rose! Knew they had to be somewhere.
But, without them I've now got whiteflies on my fennel.
Fennel?
Well, back when the kid was little, I planted a lot of fennel. Partly to recreate my grandmother's garden, and partly to provide a plant that wouldn't kill the kid if he had a snack.
Now, the kid thinks grazing the backyard is a right, so I try to keep fennel for old time's sake (and a safe, healthy snack).
New Fox Reality Show
The Onion
LOS ANGELES—Fox executives Monday unveiled their latest reality-TV venture, 'Appointed By America', a new series in which contestants vie for the top spot in Iraq's post-war government.
"Get ready, America, because you're about to choose the man—or woman—who will lead Iraq into an exciting democratic future," said Fox reality-programming chief Mike Darnell, introducing the show at a press conference. "Will it be Ahmed Chalabi, leader of the exiled Iraqi National Congress? Or General Tommy Franks, commander of the allied forces? Or maybe Roshumba Williams, the Macon, GA, waitress with big dreams and an even bigger voice? Tune in Tuesdays at 9 to see."
Describing the new show as "American Idol meets the reconstruction of Afghanistan," Darnell said 'Appointed By America' will feature contestants squaring off in a variety of challenges, including a democracy quiz, a talent competition, and nation-building activities that will demonstrate their ability to lead a bombed-out, war-ravaged Mideast country.
For the rest, The Onion
Thanks, Tim H!
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny, breezy, and cool.
Every Friday, my routine involves visiting the local bank, then the grocery store, and finally the reptile shop for fresh crickets.
Over the past couple of months there has been a noticable decline in the number of cars in the parking lot at the bank, as well as
at the grocery store. Thankfully, things seem about the same at Reptiles Unlimited, the font of healthy crickets.
My car is in the shop, and getting around ain't as fun as it used to be. All should be well by Tuesday - well, Wednesday, maybe.
Caught Bill Maher - rather like his show, but wish Ann Coulter wasn't on so much. She makes my teeth itch.
Tonight, Saturday, CBS is supposed to open the evening with a FRESH 'Touched By An Angle' (part 1 of 2 - the 2nd half is the series finale), followed by a FRESH 'The District', and then a
FRESH 'The Agency'.
NBC is supposed to begin the night with a FRESH 'Hunter', followed by a RERUN 'Law & Order', and then a RERUN 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
'SNL' is a RERUN (of course), with Queen Latifah.
ABC is supposed to fill the evening with the movie 'Forrest Gump'.
The WB has the movie 'Terminator 2: Judgment Day'.
Faux has the usual 2 'Cops', followed by 'America's Most Wanted'.
UPN offers the movie 'Breaker! Breaker!'.
AMC has 'Rosemary's Baby'. Coincidentally, the kid's paternal grandmother is named 'Rosemary', and technically, his dad is 'Rosemary's Baby'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
A group of foreigners entertain themselves at the one and only pub in Afghanistan, the 'Irish Club', in this file photo taken in Kabul, April 18, 2003. The Kabul pub, which serves alcohol to foreigners, announced April 25, 2003, that it will close its doors within weeks of opening after warnings that it could be the target of a terror attack. After 23 years of war, many strict Islamic laws had been relaxed since the fall of the Taliban in late 2001, although sale of alcohol is banned to Muslim Afghans.
Photo by Sherwin Crasto
Calls Rupert Murdoch 'Warmonger' (^5 Ted!)
Ted Turner
Ted Turner said on Thursday too few people owned too many media organizations and called rival media baron Rupert Murdoch a warmonger for what he said was Murdoch's promotion of the U.S. war in Iraq.
"He's a warmonger," Turner said in an evening speech to the Commonwealth Club in San Francisco of Murdoch, whose News Corp. Ltd. owns the fast-growing Fox News Channel. "He promoted it."
Asked by an audience member for his thoughts on Fox's larger ratings share than CNN's, Turner said, "Just because your ratings are bigger doesn't mean you're better."
"It's not how big you are, it's how good you are that really counts," Turner said.
"The media is too concentrated, too few people own too much," Turner said.
"There's really five companies that control 90 percent of what we read, see and hear. It's not healthy."
After Turner's initial remarks, the moderator for the question and answer session noted that Turner would not be able to comment on the ongoing federal investigations into AOL Time Warner.
The moderator had scarcely finished her statement when he leaned into the microphone and said: "I can say one thing. As the largest shareholder and the biggest shareholder (of the company), it's been brutal."
Ted Turner
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Not Liable for Piracy
P2P Not To Blame
Two companies behind services for sharing music and movies over the Internet are not to blame for any illegal copying conducted by the services' users, a federal judge ruled Friday.
The 34-page ruling by U.S. District Court Judge Stephen Wilson was a major blow to recording companies and movie studios, which have been aggressively filing lawsuits and pushing new laws to stem the illegal copying and distribution of their copyright works.
The decision, if it survives appeal, essentially absolves Grokster Ltd. and StreamCast Networks Inc. of liability. Grokster distributes file-sharing software by that name, and StreamCast distributes Morpheus.
The ruling does not apply to a third and more popular service, Kazaa from Sharman Networks Ltd., because it did not join the request for a summary judgment. A hearing is scheduled Monday on Sharman's counterclaims accusing the entertainment companies of antitrust violations.
Unlike Napster, the pioneer file-sharing service ordered shut by the courts, Grokster and StreamCast say they only provide software and technical assistance. Napster hosted directories of users' files on its servers.
Fred von Lohmann, senior intellectual property attorney with the Electronic Frontier Foundation in San Francisco, said the ruling was not just a victory for the file-sharing services, but also for technology developers in general.
"The question of when will a technology maker be held responsible for misuses of the tools they produce is a question of equal importance to Cisco when it builds routers, Hewlett Packard when it builds computers and Microsoft when it builds software," von Lohmann said.
P2P Not To Blame
Regrets Choice of Words
Natalie Maines
Dixie Chicks lead singer Natalie Maines said she spoke against resident Bush and the war with Iraq last month out of frustration and regrets her choice of words, but not that she spoke out about how she felt.
"I'm not truly embarrassed that resident Bush is from my state, that's not really what I care about," Maines said in an interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer for "Primetime Thursday."
"It was the wrong wording with genuine emotion and questions and concern behind it. ... Am I sorry that I asked questions and that I just don't follow? No."
"I feel me speaking out is the most patriotic thing I can do," Maines said. "People have died to give you this right and I'm using it."
Natalie Maines
Dixie Chicks
Displeased Her Corporate Masters
Ashleigh Banfield
NBC News reporter Ashleigh Banfield criticized U.S. cable news networks for overly patriotic coverage of the war in Iraq.
NBC's Banfield said in a speech Thursday that cable news operators had wrapped themselves in the flag.
"It was a grand and glorious picture that had a lot of people watching and a lot of advertisers excited about cable TV news," Banfield said at Kansas State University, in comments reported by The Topeka Capital-Journal.
"But it wasn't journalism, because I'm not sure Americans are hesitant to do this again — to fight another war, because it looked to them like a courageous and terrific endeavor," she said.
"There were horrors that were completely left out of this war," she said.
Banfield used to have her own prime-time show on MSNBC but lately has been reporting for NBC News broadcasts. An NBC News spokeswoman said Banfield didn't speak for the network and that NBC is proud of its war coverage.
"We are deeply disappointed and troubled by her remarks, and will review her comments with her," spokeswoman Allison Gollust said.
Ashleigh Banfield
The $62 million Richard B. Fisher Center, designed by Frank Gehry, is viewed Wednesday, April 23, 2003, in Annadale-on-Hudson, N.Y. The new performing arts opens to the public this weekend, and has caused a stir in this quaint corner of the Hudson Valley, 90 miles north of New York City.
Photo by Jim McKnight
He's B-a-a-a-a-c-k
Chewbacca
"Star Wars" geeks are rejoicing at yet another sign that the final installment of George Lucas' sci-fi saga won't stink. The director's official Web site is announcing that everyone's favorite 200-year-old Wookiee, Chewbacca, will return in "Star Wars: Episode III" in 2005. Reprising the role of the furry, 7-foot space navigator is Peter Mayhew, who hasn't worked with Lucas since 1983's "Return of the Jedi." "I'm delighted to return as Chewbacca," says Mayhew, 59. "I think his re-appearance in this film is a fitting way to tie the whole saga together, especially for Wookiee fans."
Chewbacca
Sue Over New Doors Band
Jim Morrison's Parents
The parents of late rock star Jim Morrison have sued the remaining members of the Doors, claiming that by re-forming the band with another singer they have "maliciously misappropriated" the name.
George and Clara Morrison claim breach of contract, unfair competition and trademark infringement in a Los Angeles Superior Court lawsuit, which seeks unspecified damages and to put a stop to the new incarnation of the band.
Also suing are the parents of Morrison's late girlfriend, Pamela Courson, who, according to the lawsuit, own half of the rock icon's share in the Doors.
Named in the lawsuit are Doors keyboardist Ray Manzarek, guitarist Robby Krieger and Ian Astbury, former lead singer of the British hard-rock band the Cult, who was hired to replace Morrison.
Jim Morrison's Parents
SARS Scare Scraps Gigs
Toronto
"American Idol" winner Kelly Clarkson and Billy Joel & Elton John have canceled visits to Toronto due to the SARS (Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome) outbreak.
Joel and John were due to perform Monday at the city's Air Canada Center, a venue that sold out in 20 minutes. Clarkson, meanwhile, was also scheduled Monday to appear on "Canada AM," "The Mike Bullard Show," and MuchMusic's Much "On Demand."
The outbreak has also forced Styx, the Notwist, and Lisa Marie Presley to cancel Toronto appearances.
Toronto
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
The Man Who Preserved U.S. Music
Alan Lomax
Even for Americans who don't count themselves as folk music enthusiasts, a few names stand out as cultural icons: Woody Guthrie, Leadbelly, Pete Seeger, Burl Ives. Less well known is the man whose drive and zeal brought these performers and many others to the notice of the public: Alan Lomax.
The career of this prolific song collector, record producer, filmmaker, concert promoter and radio and television host was the subject of a recent weekend-long gathering in New York City. Musicians, archivists, scholars and fans gathered for panel discussions and concerts -- called "Folk Music in the American Century: An Alan Lomax Tribute" -- as part of the People's Poetry Gathering, a citywide celebration of verse.
A Texas native, Lomax was born to musicology as the son of John Lomax, a pioneering folklorist and collector of American ballads and cowboy songs.
When Alan was 18 in 1933, he joined his father on a song-collecting tour of the American South, toting a 315-pound disk recording machine. In Louisiana they came across a prison inmate named Huddie Ledbetter, who was paroled the next year and rose to fame as the singer and 12-string guitar player Leadbelly. By the time Alan Lomax was 22 he was in charge of the Archive of American Folk-Song at the Library of Congress in Washington.
Legendary troubadour Pete Seeger wrote of Lomax in 1958, "In my opinion, he is more responsible than any other single individual for the whole revival in American folk music."
As part of the Lomax tribute, Seeger sang in a concert at New York's Cooper Union. Seeger was joined by fellow folk revival figures Odetta, Arlo Guthrie and the New Lost City Ramblers, as well as Appalachian balladeer Jean Ritchie of Viper, Kentucky, and Dave "Honeyboy" Edwards, an 87-year-old Delta blues musician whom Lomax recorded for the Library of Congress in 1942.
For the rest of a really great read, Alan Lomax
Hair tonsured from Hindu monks is sold overseas and generates millions in profit.
Photo by Deshakalyan Chowdhury
Boyhood Home On Ebay
Johnny Carson
Johnny Carson's childhood home will be for sale on the Internet auction site eBay starting Monday.
"I hope it's like a rookie card," said Jim Pruett, one of two men who bought the house where the former host of NBC's "The Tonight Show" lived.
Pruett, of Brandon, S.D., and Rick Runge of Sioux Falls, S.D., bought the house for $150,000 in March and have been restoring it to the way it looked in the 1940s.
They hope to have all renovation work completed by this weekend. The exterior of the four-bedroom house, which was built in 1920, also has been painted.
Johnny Carson
Theatrical Directorial Debut In New York
Woody Allen
Woody Allen will make his theatrical directorial debut here in May, with a two-act play called "Writer's Block" that the comic film director and actor wrote.
Though he is best known for his work in cinema, Allen has never stopped writing plays. He penned his first, "Don't Drink the Water," in 1966. Some of his plays, such as "Play It Again, Sam," were adapted for the silver screen.
It is the first time he will direct actors on stage.
Woody Allen
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Emotional Farewell At NRA Convention
Charlton Heston
Charlton Heston silently ended his six years as president of the National Rifle Association, and perhaps his public career as well, in an emotional farewell during the organization's national convention on Friday.
Heston, the screen actor whose cadenced, almost martial baritone became the voice of Moses and Ben Hur during a legendary Hollywood career, did not speak at his farewell tribute.
He made public last year that he had symptoms of Alzheimer's Disease, a degenerative brain ailment, and he was helped across the stage by Wayne LaPierre, chief executive of the four-million member gun-owner's organization as 7,000 paying guests rose in ovation.
Heston was credited with keeping the NRA in the mainstream of American politics, having led the charge against radical anti-government elements that he said would have put the NRA "on the fringe of society."
Heston's successor will be Kayne Robinson, who predicted before the 2000 election that a Bush win would mean the NRA would work out of the White House and "we'll have a Supreme Court that will back us to the hilt."
Robinson is a retired police officer and former Republican Party chairman for the State of Iowa.
Charlton Heston
A young lion snarls from its perch in a tree, before being sent to Baghdad's zoo April 25, 2003. A team of Kuwaiti zoo workers and a South African veterinarian transferred a number of young lions and cheetahs from an animal compound at Uday Hussein's section of Baghdad's Republican Palace.
Photo by Chris Helgren
Serial Philanderer To Marry, Again
Rudy Giuliani
Former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani, lionised for nursing the city through the trauma of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, will marry next month at a ceremony officiated by his successor, Michael Bloomberg.
In a statement, Giuliani's office said the former mayor, 58, would tie the knot with companion Judith Nathan, 44, on May 24 at a civil ceremony in Gracie Mansion -- the official mayoral residence.
It will be Giuliani's third trip down the aisle.
His first marriage, to a cousin, was annulled after 14 years, while his second, to television personality Donna Hanover, ended last year in divorce after a bitter falling out that provided endless fodder for the city's tabloid press.
Rudy Giuliani
No Agricultural Tax Break
Michael Jackson
Entertainer Michael Jackson doesn't qualify for an agricultural preservation tax break on his Neverland Ranch, county officials said.
The 2002-03 assessed value of Neverland Ranch is $12,292,618, according to the Santa Barbara County Assessor's Office.
Under a Williamson Act contract, he receives a tax break because he leases land to a cattle rancher. Jackson's taxes this year will be approximately $13,000.
If the property were not enrolled under the contract, the assessed value of the property could increase as much as $6.5 million.
The Williamson Act allows property owners to be taxed at a lower rate in exchange for keeping their land in agricultural use. To qualify, Jackson can develop only two acres of his approximately 2,700-acre property for nonagricultural use.
But Jackson's Neverland Ranch has 37 acres dedicated to nonagricultural, including a 7.1-acre amusement park complex, said supervising county planner Larry Appel, who visited the Santa Ynez Valley ranch earlier this month with Agricultural Commissioner Bill Gillette.
During the investigation, the county also discovered several structures at Neverland were built without permits, Appel said. Jackson must submit a development plan to address those structures, he said.
Michael Jackson
Settles Breach of Contract Lawsuit
Kathy Bates
Oscar winner Kathy Bates settled a breach of contract lawsuit against movie producer Martin Bregman, avoiding a trial set to begin Monday.
Thursday's court filings don't discuss terms of the agreement. Bates was seeking at least $1.25 million in damages on allegations Bregman reneged on a deal for her to star in a movie that tentatively was called "Carolina Torn Asunder."
Bates had a "pay-or-play" agreement with Bregman and his production company that guaranteed $1.25 million whether or not the movie was made or she was in it, according to the August 2001 lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court.
Bates alleges she participated in a week of rehearsals and a week of pre-production but didn't get the role of Grandma Mirabeau. Shirley MacLaine got the part in the film, now titled "Carolina," starring Julia Stiles.
Kathy Bates
Naked Pilots
Southwest
Two pilots, both men, at Southwest Airlines were fired for apparently taking off their uniforms in the cockpit and flying a plane virtually naked.
According to sources at the company, a flight attendant saw the pilots in their almost completely undressed state when summoned into the cockpit on a flight several months ago.
The pilots, who were terminated earlier this month, have appealed, saying they had spilled coffee on their uniforms. The airline did not buy the excuse and sees this as a prank gone awry that cannot be tolerated, the source said.
The names of the pilots or the flight on which the incident occurred have not been released.
Southwest
Brews Up African Recipe
Guinness
Guinness is brewing up an African-style version of its famous stout to quench the thirst of Ireland's growing immigrant population.
Tests are under way to replicate Guinness manufactured in Nigeria at its St. James' Gate headquarters in Dublin.
The African version of Guinness Foreign Extra Stout tastes sweeter and heavier than the traditional draught popular in the west, and is almost double in strength.
A Guinness spokeswoman said the new brand was a result of consumer demand from Ireland's growing African population.
At present, the imported African version is only available in Ireland under the counter in a few unlicensed shops.
Guinness Foreign Extra Stout was first exported from Ireland in the 19th century to British colonies. The first Guinness exports to Africa were to Sierra Leone in 1827.
The stronger alcohol content helped preserve it during the long sea journey.
Guinness
Dick, a 17-year-old goldfish, rests in a sling in his aquarium at the Sky Port Restaurant in Scotia, N.Y. Wednesday, April 23, 2003. The fish is suffering from a swim bladder disorder. Customers at the diner near Schenectady came up with the idea of a creating a fish sling after the goldfish fell ill in November and had difficulty swimming.
Photo by Tim Roske
'Ark of Darkness'
"The Ark of Darkness", a Political/Science-Fiction work, in tidy, weekly installments.
'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
