'Best of TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
He's Been Busy!
The Worried Shrimp
we're all wearing the blue dress now...
Reader Link
Humor
What is really on the new bin Laden tape?
Investigative satire from the Humor Gazette.
Thanks, John B!
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
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Selected Saturday Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny, warm & breezy.
Can hear the Grand Prix noise out in the backyard. Vrrrrooooom.
Some guy called this morning to tell me I was sending him e-mail with virii attached. Damn fool could find my phone number, but didn't have the common sense not to open attachments from people he doesn't know.
Like I have the time (or inclination) to annoy people I don't know. Jeez.
Been cranky the rest of the day.
Tonight, Saturday, CBS opens the night with the movie 'Miss Congeniality', followed by a FRESH 'The District'.
NBC fills the night with RERUNs that fellate Donald Trump - first, it's 'Dateline: The Apprentice', followed by 'Trump's Adventures In Avarice' - the final episode.
'SNL' is a RERUN.
ABC fills the night with the movie 'The Mummy Returns'.
The WB fills the night with the movie 'Blown Away'.
Faux has the usual 'Cops', 'Cops', and 'America's Most Wanted'.
'MAD TV' is FRESH with Cedric The Entertainer.
UPN fills the night with the movie 'Overboard'.
A&E has 'City Confidential', 'American Justice', 'Cold Case Files', and 'City Confidential'.
AMC offers the movie 'Von Ryan's Express', followed by the movie 'Patton', then the movie 'The Bridges At Toko-Ri'.
BBC -
[6pm] 'My Hero' - Pet Rescue;
[6:40pm] 'Absolutely Fabulous' - Week in Provence;
[7:20pm] 'Keeping Up Appearances' - Episode 6;
[8pm] 'House Invaders' - Episode 10;
[8:30pm] 'House Invaders' - Episode 9;
[9pm] 'House Doctor' - Episode 14;
[9:30pm] 'The Life Laundry' - Anita: Stanmore;
[10pm] 'Location, Location, Location' - Belfast;
[10:30pm] 'Location, Location, Location' - Stirling;
[11pm] 'Dead Ringers' - Episode 4;
[11:30pm] 'Dead Ringers' - Episode 3;
[12am] 'House Doctor' - Episode 14;
[12:30am] 'The Life Laundry' - Anita: Stanmore;
[1am] 'Location, Location, Location' - Belfast;
[1:30am] 'Location, Location, Location' - Stirling;
[2am] 'House Invaders' - Episode 10;
[2:30am] 'House Invaders' - Episode 9;
[3am] 'Dead Ringers' - Episode 4;
[3:30am] 'Dead Ringers' - Episode 3;
[4am] 'House Doctor' - Episode 14;
[4:30am] 'The Life Laundry' - Anita: Stanmore;
[5am] 'Location, Location, Location' - Belfast;
[5:30am] 'Location, Location, Location' - Stirling;
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'Queer Eye', followed by the movie 'Apollo 13', then the movie 'Apollo 13', again.
Comedy Central has 'MAD TV', 'Reno 911!', another 'Reno 911!', 'Chappelle's Show', another 'Chappelle's Show',
'The Man Show', and another 'The Man Show'.
HBO has FRESH 'Chris Rock: Never Scared' at 10pm (EDT).
History has 'Extreme History With Roger Daltrey', 'Mail Call', 'Days That Shook The World', 'Band Of Brothers', and 'We Stand Alone Together'.
IFC -
[6AM] 'IFC Short Film Collection II';
[8AM] 'Girl Under The Waves' (2001);
[10AM] 'The Last Party' (1993);
[12PM] 'Polish Wedding' (1998);
[2PM] 'IFC Short Film Collection I';
[4PM] 'The Last Party' (1993);
[6PM] 'Polish Wedding' (1998);
[8PM] 'Timecode' (2000);
[9:45PM] 'IFC In Theaters';
[10PM] 'Dinner For Five 27' (2003);
[10:30PM] 'Rocked With Gina Gershon Episode 2' (2003);
[11PM] 'Illtown' (1999);
[1AM] 'Dinner For Five 27' (2003);
[1:30AM] 'Rocked With Gina Gershon Episode 2' (2003);
[2AM] 'Five Senses' (1999);
[4AM] 'Time Code'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
SciFi has the movie 'Stargate', followed by the movie 'Deep Core'.
Sundance -
[5:15AM] 'McLuhan's Wake' (Documentary);
[7AM] 'Barcelona' (Feature);
[8:45AM] 'The Last Just Man' (Documentary);
[10AM] 'Honey For Oshun' (Miel para Oshun) (Feature);
[12:05PM] 'Golden Gate' (Palace II) (Short);
[12:30PM] 'Derrida' (Documentary);
[2PM] 'Pumpkin' (Feature);
[4PM] 'The Hired Hand' (Feature);
[5:35PM] 'Riders' (Feature);
[7:15PM] 'Barcelona' (Feature);
[9PM] 'Exotica' (Feature);
[10:45PM] 'Borstal Boy' (Feature);
[12:20AM] 'The Crossing Guard' (Feature);
[2:15AM] 'Stripped' (Documentary);
[3:35AM] 'Spiral' (Uzumaki) (Feature);
[5:10AM] 'Riders' (Feature). (ALL TIMES EDT)
TCM features films with
Diane Keaton most of the night.
[6am] 'Dodsworth' (1936);
[8am] 'Kansas City Confidential' (1952);
[10am] 'Fort Massacre' (1958);
[11:30am] 'The Misfits' (1961);
[2pm] 'The Birds' (1963);
[4:15pm] Back From Eternity (1956);
[6:00 pm] 'The Searchers' (1956);
[8pm] 'Annie Hall' (1977);
[10pm] 'Baby Boom' (1987);
[12am] 'Mrs. Soffel' (1984);
[2am] 'Sleeper' (1973);
[4am] 'What's New, Pussycat?' (1965). (ALL TIMES EDT)
NBC newswoman Katie Couric (R) talks with Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) in an exclusive 'Dateline NBC' interview set for telecast April 16, 2004 in the United States on NBC, in this undated publicity photograph. Clinton discusses the possibility of being John Kerry's running mate, the current situation in Iraq, the role of the Clinton Administration in the events leading up to 9/11, and her book, 'Living History' which is being released in a paperback edition.
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The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Stars Raise Cash for George's Dad
Nick Clooney
Some of Hollywood's top draws, including Oscar winners Michael Douglas and Renee Zellweger, "Friends" cast member Courteney Cox Arquette and actress Drew Barrymore, are playing supporting roles in the candidacy of a Kentucky Democrat.
Their choice: Nick Clooney, father of actor George and brother of the late actress/singer Rosemary.
The 70-year-old Nick Clooney, a former television anchor and newspaper columnist, raised nearly $500,000 in the first three months of this year, according to reports filed with the Federal Election Commission.
George Clooney's former cast members from NBC's "ER," such as Noah Wyle, donated to Nick Clooney's campaign. So did Zellweger, Oscar winner for "Cold Mountain" who once was romantically linked to George, actor/producer Douglas, Arquette and Barrymore. Filmmakers Harvey and Bob Weinstein of Miramax also gave to the Kentucky Democrat.
Clooney hopes to succeed Democratic incumbent Ken Lucas, who is retiring after three terms representing the 4th Congressional District, which snakes along the Ohio river and includes much of the northern Kentucky suburbs near Cincinnati. Republicans say the race represents one of their best chances to pick up a Democratic seat.
Nick Clooney
Clooney campaign
'The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'
John Malkovich
John Malkovich is thumbing a ride on "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy," a Disney adaptation of the Douglas Adams novel.
Malkovich will play a religious cult leader called Humma Kavula, created by the late author especially for the long-gestating film.
"Galaxy" begins shooting this month in London, with Garth Jennings at the helm. Mos Def, Zooey Deschanel, Sam Rockwell and Martin Freeman also star. Mos Def plays Ford Prefect, an undercover alien who sets off on an intergalactic journey with his best friend and the film's protagonist, earthling Arthur Dent (Freeman). The duo hitch a ride through space -- with the two-headed ex-hippie Zaphod (Rockwell); his girlfriend, the beautiful scientist Trillion (Deschanel); and a robot -- to discover the meaning of life.
John Malkovich
A worker checks growth along a hillside of Ranunculi flowers at a commercial flower growing field in Carlsbad,California April 16, 2004. Carlsbad, located between Los Angeles and San Diego, is a major commercial flower-growing center in California. The flower fields bloom annually during March and April attracting thousands of visitors to the area.
Photo by Mike Blake
Flock to 'Valiant'
John Cleese & Tim Curry
John Cleese and Tim Curry have joined the voice cast of "Valiant," an animated feature comedy about a heroic pigeon during World War II.
The title character, a lowly wood pigeon, overcomes his small size to become a hero in the Royal Air Force Homing Pigeon Service. Cleese plays an Allied pigeon who gets trapped behind enemy lines, while Curry is devoted to the pigeons' destruction as part of the enemy's Falcon Brigade.
The production already boasts the voice talents of Ewan McGregor, Ben Kingsley, Jim Broadbent, Rupert Everett, Hugh Laurie, John Hurt and Ricky Gervais.
John Cleese & Tim Curry
Hopes to Get Young Voters to Polls
John Kerry
Democrat John Kerry, with rockers Jon Bon Jovi and blink-182 in tow, is courting the college crowd that typically shuns the voting booth, hoping unease about the Iraq war and jobs propels millions of 18-to-24-year-olds to the polls in November.
"We need you to become involved in this race as never before," the presumptive Democratic nominee implored a noisy crowd of more than 5,000 at the University of Pittsburgh Friday.
The rally was Kerry's fifth college appearance in a week and reflected the campaign's sense that a new activism is brewing on campuses nationwide, fueled by opposition to the war, concerns about postgraduate jobs and Republican-led efforts to curtail gay rights and change long-standing environmental rules.
Kerry dedicates his speeches to those issues, as well as college tuition and public service, while bringing along familiar musicians and sports legends. The Boston band Guster played at one event; famed Pittsburgh Steelers running back Franco Harris and Bon Jovi joined Kerry on Friday.
For more, John Kerry
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Banjo Master Still Picking
Earl Scruggs
Banjo great Earl Scruggs played on two of bluegrass music's most recognized songs, The Ballad of Jed Clampett and Foggy Mountain Breakdown.
But don't call him a bluegrass musician. "I'd rather not pigeonhole it. If someone wants to call it bluegrass I have no qualms about it, but I don't like to label it in one category," Scruggs says of his music, which is represented on a new CD, The Essential Earl Scruggs.
Scruggs, who turned 80 in January, has had a diverse career, recording with pop, rock and country artists, including Johnny Cash, Dwight Yoakam, Elton John, Sting and Don Henley.
When he was just a boy, Scruggs developed the three-fingered roll or "Scruggs style" of banjo playing that is widely credited with giving bluegrass its distinctive sound.
The North Carolina native met Lester Flatt in 1945 when they were in Bill Monroe's Blue Grass Boys. The two left a few years later and formed the Foggy Mountain Boys and eventually the hugely successful Flatt & Scruggs.
For the rest, Earl Scruggs
Mustangs are lined up for admirers' inspections at the Mustang 40th anniversary celebration in Gladeville, Tenn., Thursday, April 15, 2004. The Mustang made its debut in April 1964 at the World's Fair in New York. Since then, about 8 million people have bought one.
Photo by Mark Humphrey
Johnny Mercer Award
Stevie Wonder
Stevie Wonder has been selected as recipient of the Johnny Mercer Award by The National Academy of Popular Music/Songwriters Hall of Fame.
The award will be presented June 10 at the 2004 awards dinner at the Marriott Marquis Hotel. "The Johnny Mercer Award goes to a 'songwriter's songwriter,"' Hal David, chairman and chief executive officer of the Songwriters Hall of Fame, said in a statement Thursday. "I can think of no one who is more deserving of this accolade than Stevie Wonder. His music is known and loved around the world and has made a difference in the lives of so many."
Stevie Wonder
Kingston University Buys Library
Iris Murdoch
England's Kingston University has bought a library of more than 1,000 books belonging to the late novelist Iris Murdoch, along with her notes, letters and original manuscripts.
Anne Rowe, who teaches courses on Murdoch at the university, said Thursday it had paid "near to the asking price" of $267,000 US. Murdoch, one of Britain's most respected 20th-century novelists, died of Alzheimer's disease in 1999. Her husband, John Bayley, put her working library up for sale last year, saying that after remarrying he no longer had room for it in his house.
The university in southwest London, which gave Murdoch an honorary doctorate, plans to establish a centre for Murdoch studies.
Murdoch's final years were depicted in a memoir by Bayley and an Oscar-winning film, Iris, starring Kate Winslet and Judi Dench.
Iris Murdoch
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Rues 'Mission Accomplished' Banner
Turd Blossom
Resident Bush's top political adviser said this week he regretted the use of a "Mission Accomplished" banner as a backdrop for the president's landing on an aircraft carrier last May to mark the end of major combat operations in Iraq.
"I wish the banner was not up there," said White House political strategist Karl Rove. "I'll acknowledge the fact that it has become one of those convenient symbols."
Rove, speaking at an editorial board meeting with The Columbus Dispatch in Ohio on Thursday, echoed Bush's contention that the phrase referred to the carrier's crew completing their 10-month mission, not the military completing its mission in Iraq.
Last October, Bush said the White House had nothing to do with the banner; a spokesman later clarified that the ship's crew asked for the sign and the White House staff had it made by a private te House staff had it made by a private vendor. It wasn't clear who paid for the sign.
Turd Blossom
A row of stuffed deer heads displaying their antlers is one of the exhibits at the NRA convention in Pittsburgh on Friday, April, 16, 2004.
Photo by Keith Srakocic
Warming Climate Disrupts Natives' Lives
Alaska
Anyone who doubts the gravity of global warming should ask Alaska's Eskimo, Indian and Aleut elders about the dramatic changes to their land and the animals on which they depend.
Native leaders say that salmon are increasingly susceptible to warm-water parasites and suffer from lesions and strange behavior. Salmon and moose meat have developed odd tastes and the marrow in moose bones is weirdly runny, they say.
Arctic pack ice is disappearing, making food scarce for sea animals and causing difficulties for the Natives who hunt them. It is feared that polar bears, to name one species, may disappear from the Northern hemisphere by mid-century.
As trees and bushes march north over what was once tundra, so do beavers, and they are damming new rivers and lakes to the detriment of water quality and possibly salmon eggs.
Still, to the frustration of Alaska Natives, many politicians in the lower 48 U.S. states deny that global warming is occurring or that a warmer climate could cause problems.
For a good read, Alaska
Wants Michael Moore to Come Home
Ralph Nader
Ralph Nader wants renegade filmmaker Michael Moore to end his dalliance with the Democratic Party and return to his anti-establishment roots.
The independent presidential candidate sent an open letter to Moore on Friday pleading with him to support Nader's third-party candidacy, as Moore did in 2000.
"Ok Michael, you've had your realpolitik fling with ex-General Wesley Clark Nader writes. "Your endorsed presidential candidate in the Democratic primarsidential candidate in the Democratic primaries has withdrawn. It is time for you to come home, to join your buddies and resume your only genuine role which is that of defiance and resistance."
Dozens of politically active celebrities, including Moore and actors Tim Robbins and Susan Sarandon, campaigned with Nader four years ago. But many former supporters who believe their vote for Nader helped put resident Bush in the White House have shunned the consumer activist this time around.
For the rest, Ralph Nader
Collector's Item
Cookie Tin
It looks like an ordinary old-fashioned cookie tin, but the hidden drawing of two dogs having sex in the grass makes it an instant collectors' item.
Biscuit makers Huntley & Palmers sold thousands of tins of treats featuring a copy of an early 20th century illustration of a genteel picnic -- without realizing that a disgruntled employee had hidden sexually explicit drawings in the scene.
Lawrences Auctioneers in Somerset, southwest England, is hoping collectors will bid 250 pounds ($446) when one of the tins goes on sale next Friday.
The unidentified artist who copied the illustration had lost his job at the cookie company and decided to take revenge on his employers while completing his final project.
He included a small picture of two dogs having sex and another of a pair of naked lovers. An obscene label written on a jam jar suggests it contains something other than jam.
Cookie Tin
Charm, top, licks Cylon in a caged trailer at a truck stop in Anna, Texas, Friday, April 16, 2004. A tractor-trailer crammed with eight tigers, a wolf, baby lion and bear has been parked at the truck stop for four days as their owner, James Garretson, tries to raise money to build them a home. Federal agriculture officials have given him until the end of the month to build a facility, Garretson said. But he has run out of money and cannot build on his 25 acres in Florida until his state permit is renewed
Photo by LM Otero
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
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'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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