'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Baron Dave Romm
How To Write A Letter To The Editor, part 2
By Baron Dave Romm
"Of course, in my mind I've renamed D.C.'s airport Iran-Contra International." -- Micheal R Weholt
In the Illuminatus Trilogy, Robert Anton Wilson and Robert Shea (among other things, former editors of the letter column of Playboy) came up with the term fnord, which is a word put in a newspaper article that you can't see but instantly provoke a negative emotional reaction to the content of the article. While the Illuminatus Trilogy is fiction, mostly, the concept of words that provoke an emotional reaction to the rest of the content is legitimate. All words have connotative as well as denotative aspects, but some are deliberately used to color speech. On the right, a dittohead can mutter "political correctness" or "feminazi" or many many others and the actual facts presented don't mean anything. The point is already made just by repeating the word. The left has it's own terms (left as an exercise for the reader) as do many other ways to slice opinionated cognative dissonance.
Establishing emotional associations to overlay factual discussion isn't a recent rhetorical trick. Any good writer knows how to use words to create emotional links (Shakespeare is especially good that this, and you often don't even notice). Ad campaigns rely on appeals to the emotions. Political spin is often just using emotion-laden words to justify an action that would otherwise be abhorrant (eg calling the procedure partial-birth abortion to justify putting the mother in danger), or is using emotion-neutral words to dampen what would otherwise cause your stomach to churn (eg collateral damage to refer to civilian casualties).
In the half-decade prior to 1978, the liberals were riding high here in the US. The good guys had just precipitated the first resignation of a president, the ever-slimy Richard Nixon; the War In Vietnam (excuse me, police action...) had just come to an inglorious end, yet an end nonetheless. We had elected Jimmy Carter, a moral man, as president, and he was appointing good people. The Clean Air and Water Act was finally making rivers safe to drink from again, and so on.
Then, as now, the far right couldn't stand it when they were out of power, and were determined to take the reigns of control no matter what the cost to America. The coalition of center-left movements that had coalesced around the anti-war movement was falling apart without the war. Enter Newt Gingrich, running for Congress in Georgia. His Ph.D. demonstrated that he had survived academia, which has it's own language set, and he wanted to bring that level of rhetorical manipulation to the political arena. Here is the list that Newt gave to all the Republicans/conservatives/hate radio/speech writers:
| Good Words according to Newt | Bad Words according to Newt |
|---|---|
| active(ly) activist building candid(ly) care(ing) challenge change children choice/choose citizen commitment common sense compete confident conflict control courage crusade debate dream duty eliminate good-time in prison empower(ment) fair family freedom hard work help humane incentive initiative lead learn legacy liberty light listen mobilize moral movement opportunity passionate peace pioneer precious premise preserve principle(d) pristine pro- (issue): flag, children, environment, reform prosperity protect proud/pride provide reform rights share strength success tough truth unique vision we/us/our |
abuse of power anti- (issue): flag, family, child, jobs betray bizarre bosses bureaucracy cheat coercion "compassion" is not enough collapse(ing) consequences corrupt corruption criminal rights crisis cynicism decay deeper destroy destructive devour disgrace endanger excuses failure (fail) greed hypocrisy ideological impose incompetent insecure insensitive intolerant liberal lie limit(s) machine mandate(s) obsolete pathetic patronage permissive attitude pessimistic punish (poor ...) radical red tape self-serving selfish sensationalists shallow shame sick spend(ing) stagnation status quo steal taxes they/them threaten traitors unionized urgent (cy) waste welfare |
Not precisely fnords ala bleeding heart, Newt and co. managed to turn the dialog in his direction. It took a while to mold a gullible public spending 3 1/2 hours a day listening to Rush and the rest of the day repeating Drudge over a beer and Newt didn't get to be Speaker of the House until 1994.
Meanwhile, here are some of my own additions and suggestions, augmented by similar arguments gleaned from Rackjite, bartcop, Joseph Duemer and so on.
One of the easiest things to do is simply reverse everything they say. Listen to the fnord they're using and turn the tables. You have the advantage of being factually correct as well as morally sound. If they start going on about "liberal news media" you can point out that lie, and simply append "conservative" and "Republican" to "news media" or "the local paper". Indeed, if they slip in the fnords (and I bet they can't even define most of them; ever ask a dittohead to define "liberal"? They would never have passed third grade...), do the same in reverse: append "conservative" to lots of the negative issues and "liberal" (or "center" or "bi-partisan" or "heroic liberal") to all the positive issues.
Bush lied to our troops. Where is Bin Ladin? Where are the Weapons of Mass Destruction?
Moral relativism (aka the double standard; the right likes to use this one, and I love to shove it back in their face
bin Laden-loving (W's first major business partner was a brother of Osama. His father has worked for bin Ladens in the Carlyle Group and others)
slippery slope
heroic
Christian ("Jesus was a liberal. Why aren't you?")
of faith
family
Republicans are soft on crime... when it's theirs (I love to accuse Republicans of being soft on crime, whenever they defend Nixon or try to change the subject of Bush's scandals with an 'everyone does it' argument).
Whining, right wing whining
George W. French (Bush lied to our troops! The French were right and the oily Bush administration was lying... again.)
Corporate media, conservative news media, right-wing media elites
Deficit-loving Republicans, tax & spend Republicans. (eg, Republicans cut their taxes and spend your money)
Fundamentalist social agenda, right-wing social agenda
The Taliban wing of the GOP
The Republican privatization plan for Social Security.
Income gap [Note: when Republicans respond by calling this "class war," respond with, "the class war started in the boardroom."]
Massive corporate fraud
Lack of corporate governance (W was handling governance on the Harken Board of Directors...)
The economic assault on ordinary families
off-shore corporate tax havens (one of those costs more than all the welfare cheaters...)
Losing the war on terror. The same day we invaded Iraq for the second time in 12 years, we invaded Afghanistan for the second time in 18 months, and al Queda is still there.
A woman's right to choose
The discredited War on Drugs
And when they call you a liberal, repeat-after-me: "That's right! I'm proud to be a liberal. Liberals stand for accounting reform, a woman's right to choose, the sanctity of Social Security, responsible and effective national security, working families . . ."
The shame of being a conservative has never been greater.
Rush Limbaugh is for people who aren't mature enough for Barney.
And so on. The arguments of the dittoheads have been honed by some of the highest paid hatemongers (eg spin control artists) over hours and hours of air time. It's time to take back the vocabulary, use fnords to our advantage, and force people to think about what they're talking about. They probably won't, at least not right away, but the effort is worth whether choosing your words carefully for a formal letter to the editor/web article/essay or more informally in a face to face discussion. You're at a disadvantage: You can be pursuaded by a reasonable argument. Your argument must be reasonable AND evocative.
"Torkild, you have never been forced from the safety of what you percieve to be your reality. You are locked too deeply into your concepts of you you think you are. You must step out of it and see yourself from a different percpective."
Torkild laughed, "My reality serves me fine."
"Of course it does. Ignorance allows the belief in perfection. You never need to question. At the same time, never to question is one of the few real sins for which your soul can be damned."
-- The Web Of The Spider, W. Michael Gear, p537
One of the important things to remember about the extreme right: They hate you. Their world is soley defined in black and white terms (which is what makes them extremists in the first place) and any shade of gray makes you one of... Them. Most, even most conservatives, are not extremists, but too many are. The people who shielded and are proud of right-wing Christian terrorist Eric Rudolph are far too common. There is no reasoning with them, but at least you can show some gumption and stand up to them with facts. Failing that, use fnords. It won't change their mind, but you can have fun watching their faces turn red. And maybe you'll convince someone who's not so extreme as they'd like to believe. Slowly, perhaps, but we're the good guys, remember?
Baron Dave Romm is a conceptual artist and a noble of Ladonia with a radio show, a very weird CD collection and an ever growing list of political links. He reviews things at random for obscure web sites. You can read all his music recommendations from Bartcop-E here, and you can hear the last two Shockwave broadcasts in Real Audio here (scroll down to Shockwave). Thanks to everyone who has sent me music to play on the air, and I'm collecting extra-weird stuff for a possible CD compilation.
Review by Sam
Wanda Sykes
Think back to the good ole days when democracy was the order of the day, and
freedom of speech wasn't just a silly liberal notion. When it wasn't
traitorous or disrespectful to laugh at the government. Admitting you are a
democrat raised hopes instead of a contemptuous brow, and speaking the truth
was admired instead of admonished. So it was for about an hour Saturday
night when Wanda Sykes took some jabs at our presidential placeholder that
for the lack of Ashcroft's thought police might otherwise have landed her a
cell at Guantanamo Bay.
We arrived at the club around 5:45 for dinner before the show. I
immediately looked around for brown shirts, jackboots, or anybody with a
flag sticking out of their ass. I didn't see any. So far, so good, but you
have to be careful with government censors because they are notorious for
blending in with the crowd. Could it be that I was actually going to hear a
strong woman speak her mind without fear of reprisal?
When Wanda took the stage one of the first questions she asked was, "What do
y'all think of George Bush?" Imagine my surprise when a man right here in
Dallas,Texas shouted, "Go ahead and talk about him!" At first I thought
Wanda had moved to the dark side when she referred to Bush as a hero and
said she thought he would be re-elected. I think Wanda's strategy here was
to appease the right wingers in the audience (she was in Texas, after all,
she couldn't take a chance on being Dixie Chicked) so that they would
hopefully tune out, and her real feelings would come out in the undertones
and subliminal messages in the rest of her comedy routine.
Surprisingly, the
political portion of her show was very short. She compared Bush to a comic
book super hero out to avenge his father. "He almost had them, then damn!
They slipped right through his fingers. There's sure to be a sequel!" One
of the funniest jokes was when she talked about how stupid Bush was to
believe that Saddam would be in Baghdad when the bombs started to fall. "I
missed three car payments once" she said, "Even I was smart enough to park
six blocks from my house." She went on to talk about how Iraqi freedom has
affected the rest of us. "Do you sleep better at night? Are your burgers
any tastier? Is gas any cheaper? Gas went from $2.00 a gallon to $1.80,
when it gets to 25 cents, I'll be celebratin' me some Iraqi freedom!" The
rest of the show was standard fare, but hilarious nevertheless.
After the show, as everyone was walking down the stairs to go home, I had
the strange feeling that they were going to herd us into police busses to be
carted off for questioning and fingerprinting. Amazingly we were able to
walk directly to our cars and go home. Since it doesn't look like I'm in
immediate danger of Tom Ridge showing up at my door with an arrest warrant,
I have yet another reason to be excited: Next month I'm going to see Paula
Poundstone!
Sam H.
Thanks, Sam! Great job - and let us know about Paula next month, OK?
Contributor's Comment
from Tim
Hi Marty,
I think you've probably seen this statement by Senator
Jeffords, but just in case, here's the link.
Wish it
was made by a democrat, any democrat.
Tim
Thanks, Tim! That about nails it.
'The Ins and Outs of Iraq'
The Wall Street Poet
The Ins and Outs of Iraq
Let¹s start with a quite simple fact
You¹ll see right off it¹s true:
I don¹t care squat about Iraq
And neither, friend, do you.
It¹s not a land of old allies,
Few values do we share,
We stick around, we¹ll be despised,
That much is crystal clear.
Our soldiers will be targeted,
Our good intentions spurned,
No matter how its marketed
We¹ll end up getting burned.
The reasons we spewed shock and awe
Struck me as pure bombast,
I didn¹t think it worth a war
But hey‹that¹s in the past.
We earned a most impressive win
We showed our mighty clout;
ŒTwas most heroic getting in,
Now how do we get out?
©2003
**********
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Still overcast & mild - and I'm still not complaining.
Busy day, running late.
Tonight, Monday, CBS starts the night with a RERUN 'The King Of Queens', followed by a RERUN 'Yes, Dear', then
a RERUN 'Raymond', followed by a RERUN 'Still Standing', and then a RERUN 'CSI: Miami'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave is Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Lou Diamond Phillips, Brandi Chastain, and Peter Cincotti.
NBC opens the evening with a FRESH 'Fame', followed by a FRESH 'For Love Or Money', then a Season Premiere
'Meet My Folks'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are John Corbett, Kelly Clarkson, Justin Guarini, Branford Marsalis, and Ellis Marsalis.
On a RERUN Conan are Chazz Palminteri, Ali G, and Robinella & the CC String Band.
On a RERUN Carson Daly are Anthony Anderson and Evan Dando.
ABC has the final game of 'NHL Stanley Cup'. West coast will have local filler the rest of the night.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel is Tyra Banks with this week's guest co-host Jay Mohr.
The WB offers a RERUN '7th Heaven', followed by another RERUN '7th Heaven'.
Faux has a 'special' - 'Test The Nation', where Leeza Gibbons & Mark Walberg present an IQ test...Bwa ha ha ha ha ha.
UPN offers a RERUN 'The Parkers', followed by a RERUN 'One On One', then a
RERUN 'Girlfriends', and then a RERUN 'Half & Half'.
A&E has 'Biography' (Harrison Ford), followed by 'Inspector Morse'.
AMC has the movie 'Mommy Dearest', followed by the movie 'Jack The Bear', and then the movie 'Raggedy Man'.
BBC has 'Ground Force' - Brotherton (7pm), 'Changing Rooms' - Newcastle (7:30pm), 'Jonathan Creek' - The Problem at Gallows Gate-Part 2 (8pm),
'Murder In Mind' - Passion (9pm), 'Murder In Mind' - Disposal (10pm), 'So Graham Norton' - Jackie Collins, Morten Harket (11pm),
'So Graham Norton' - Alice Cooper (11:30pm). (ALL TIMES ET)
BRAVO offers 'Cirque du Soleil: Quidam', followed by 'Cirque du Soleil: Alegria'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jon Stewart is Guy Pearce.
HISTORY has 'Mail Call', followed by another 'Mail Call', and then 'Blood From A Stone'.
SCI-FI is a night of 'Stargate SG-1'.
TCM offers the movie 'Stage Door Canteen', followed by the movie 'Thousands Cheer', and then the movie 'Thank Your Lucky Stars'.
USA has the '2003 World Stunt Awards'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Actors Harvey Fierstein (L), Vanessa Redgrave (2nd L), Marissa Jaret Winokur (2ndR), and Brian Dennehy pose with their Tony Awards at the 57th Annual Tony Awards at Radio City Music Hall in New York on June 8, 2003.
Photo by Albert Ferreira
Barcelona
Spencer Tunick
More than 7,000 people gathered at daybreak Sunday and shed their clothes in the morning chill to take part in artist Spencer Tunick's largest work yet — an installation featuring a sea of nude bodies covering a central Barcelona avenue.
The New York native has achieved worldwide renown for his work, which often features large numbers of nude people posing in urban settings. Though he refers to his art as "temporary site-related installations," he is best known for the photographs he takes of these events.
At 4 a.m. (0200 GMT) people began arriving at Avenida de la Reina Maria Cristina, a broad thoroughfare lined with fountains. They undressed in a nearby building and were naked for more than an hour as Tunick had them pose four ways: standing, lying down, curled up in balls and hugging each other.
Barcelona joins London, Lisbon, Buenos Aires, Santiago and many other European and South American cities in hosting Tunick.
Sunday's spectacle was his largest yet. Until now his grandest project of this type was an installation involving 4,500 nude people in Melbourne, Australia in 2001.
"In the U.S. they consider the body a crime," said the artist, who has been arrested five times in New York City for working with nudes in public. "In other countries it's celebrated as something special."
Spencer Tunick
www.spencertunick.com
Photo Exhibit Opens Outside Detroit
Bruce Springsteen
The photo exhibit, Springsteen -- Troubadour Of The Highway, began a 12-week run at the Cranbrook Art Museum in Bloomfield Hills, Michigan, this weekend. The multi-media exhibit, which premiered last September at the University Of Minnesota's Weisman Art Museum in Minneapolis, opened to the public on Saturday (June 7) after some VIP showings on Friday (June 6). Springsteen -- Troubadour Of The Highway closes on August 31.
The exhibit features 70 images of Bruce Springsteen--mostly posing with automobiles or standing by roadways--taken by frequent Springsteen photographers such as Annie Liebovitz, Fran Stefanko, David Rose, Joel Bernstein, and former Springsteen girlfriend Lynn Goldsmith, who's published two photo books dedicated to him. Also included are a series of photos taken for The Ghost Of Tom Joad album by Springsteen's sister Pamela.
The exhibit will move to the Experience Music Project in Seattle from February to April 2004 (exact dates are still being determined) and then to the Neward Art Museum from June 18 to August 31, 2004.
Bruce Springsteen
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Record Collection to Be Released
Elvis Presley
Graceland and Elvis Presley Enterprises have cataloged Presley's record collection with 1,000 albums and singles filling up a 24-page list.
There is only one opera recording (by Lanza) in the Elvis collection, which Graceland spokesman Todd Morgan says "leans heavily to black rhythm and blues and to black and white gospel."
Graceland archivists cataloged the recordings by title and last names of artists, so exact numbers in each category aren't readily available. That's because many of the groups and solo artists who began as gospel singers crossed over into pop and rhythm and blues and later returned to their gospel roots.
Rock bands are a rarity in the collection. There were four Beatles albums and albums by Chicago and the Turtles, but West says Elvis preferred soloists.
Elvis, the rocker and balladeer, was not a fan of jazz, but he had an album by Duke Ellington, "Newport 1958," in the collection. There was also only a small sampling of classical music — Brahms' "Symphony No. 1," Beethoven's "Konzert Fur Klavier Und Orchestra No. 5" and Mozart's "Requiem Mass in D Minor."
Elvis Presley
www.elvis.com
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Berlin's Festival Draws Hundreds Of Thousands
Carnival of Cultures
A sea of Samba dancers, Ghanaian drummers and a Japanese dragon parade flooded the streets of the German capital with more than 800,000 expected to join Berlin's annual celebration of its diversity.
The eighth annual Carnival of Cultures parade drew 105 amateur and professional bands with 4,200 paraders from 80 countries dancing through the international district of Kreuzberg under glorious sunshine, organizers said.
Masquerade artists, musicians and DJs, dancers, stiltwalkers and jugglers accompanied more than 60 colorfully decorated floats with hundreds of thousands of fans lining the parade route.
Carnival of Cultures
Two girls dance during the electronic music festival Rioparade in a street of Rio de Janeiro, Brazil Sunday, June 8, 2003. In a homage to the German original, the 20 music floats with loudspeakers pounding electronic beats into Rio's Avenida Rio Branco, were called ``lovemobiles.'' To give the parade's theme of ``love, peace and tolerance'' credibility, money was collected during the parade for the ``Zero Hunger'' program, the flagship social program of President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva's government.
Photo by Renzo Gostoli
'Rampart Scandal'
Sylvester Stallone
Sylvester Stallone has signed on to write, direct and star in a new film tackling the thorny subject of corruption in the Los Angeles Police Department, the industry press said.
The movie, which will weave together real-life scandals and dramatic events involving the beleaguered police department, is expected to begin production in September, according to Daily Variety.
The film is tentatively titled "Rampart Scandal" after a graft scandal that rocked the LAPD in recent years.
Stallone will play detective Russell Poole who was involved in the probes into the murders of rap star Tupac Shakur and his arch rival, Notorious B.I.G.
Sylvester Stallone
Accused of Killing Campus Koi
Frat Boys
Members of a U.C. Santa Cruz fraternity could face criminal charges for allegedly killing a valuable koi fish.
The 20-pound fish disappeared from a university pond late last month. School officials say several members of the Delta Omega Chi frat confessed to the theft, but did not provide details. However, witnesses say the frat boys used a rake to lift the fish from the pond, then killed the creature and cooked it.
MTV has been filming at the fraternity's off-campus house for the past six weeks for its reality show Fraternity Life. MTV said it had nothing to do with the incident.
Frat Boys
Chairs to Be Auctioned
'American Idol'
Office chairs used by judges on the Fox TV series "American Idol" will be auctioned off to benefit cancer-related charities.
Judges Paula Abdul, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson have each autographed their respective seats, made by Holland-based Trendway Corp.
Abdul's will be auctioned off to benefit a Michigan branch of the American Cancer Society on Aug. 22.
The chair signed by Jackson will benefit Chicago's The Common Thread for the Cure Foundation. Cowell's chair will be auctioned by a yet-to-be announced charity.
'American Idol'
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
On The Road This Summer
Bob Dylan
Bob Dylan will kick off a summer U.S. tour July 12 in Winter Park, Colo. The legendary singer/songwriter and his band will play 12 dates in the Northwest and California before hooking up with the Dead for a previously announced slate of shows.
Save for a July 22 show in Nampa, Idaho, which will feature the String Cheese Incident, opening bands for the early half of the tour have not been announced.
Among the co-headlining dates with the Dead is an Aug. 10 stop at the inaugural Bonnaroo NE festival in Calverton, N.Y.
Dylan's summer tour dates:
July 12: Winter Park, Colo. (Winter Park Resort)
July 13: Casper, Wyo. (Casper Events Center)
July 15: Jackson, Wyo. (Snow King Resort)
July 16: Big Sky, Mon. (Big Sky Resort)
July 17: West Valley City, Utah. (USANA Amphitheater)
July 19: Stateline, Nev. (Harvey's Lake Tahoe Outdoor Amphitheater)
July 21: Sun Valley, Idaho (Sun Valley Amphitheater)
July 22: Nampa, Idaho (Idaho Center Amphitheater)
July 23: Bend, Ore. (Les Schwab Amphitheater)
July 25: Kelseyville, Calif. (Konocti Harbor Resort & Spa)
July 26: Paso Robles, Calif. (California Mid-State Fair)
July 27: Costa Mesa, Calif. (Pacific Amphitheater)
July 29: Sunrise, Fla. (Office Depot Center)
July 30: Tampa, Fla. (St. Pete Times Forum)
July 31: Atlanta (HiFi Buys Amphitheater)
Aug. 2: Joliet, Ill. (Route 66 Raceway)
Aug. 3: Somerset, Wis. (Float Rite Park Amphitheater)
Aug. 5: Noblesville, Ind. (Verizon Wireless Music Center)
Aug. 6: Columbus, Ohio (Germain Amphitheater)
Aug. 8: Darien Center, N.Y. (Darien Lake Six Flags Performing Arts Center)
Aug. 10: Calverton, N.Y. (Calverton Enterprise Park)
Aug. 21: Gilford, N.H. (Meadowbrook Farm Musical Arts Center)
Aug. 22: Syracuse, N.Y. (New York State Fair)
Bob Dylan
La finale du simple messieurs des Internationaux de France de tennis, entre l'Espagnol Juan Carlos Ferrero (N.3) et le Néerlandais Martin Verkerk, 46e mondial, a été perturbée par l'intrusion d'un "streaker", dimanche à Roland-Garros.
Photo by François Guillot
First In 55 Years
New Vitamin
Japanese scientists have discovered a new vitamin that plays an important role in fertility in mice and may have a similar function in humans.
A research team led by Takafumi Kato confirmed on Thursday that pyrroloquinoline quinone (PQQ), a substance discovered in 1979, can be categorised as a vitamin.
PQQ is the first new vitamin to be discovered since 1948, the institute said. Vitamins are defined as organic substances needed in small quantities for health and growth. They must be obtained from food as they cannot be produced by the body.
The best source of PQQ discovered so far is "natto", a pungent Japanese dish of fermented soybeans. Other foods rich in the substance include parsley, green tea, green peppers, kiwi fruit and papaya.
There are 13 other types of vitamin already known, and PQQ is believed to belong to the vitamin B group, the release said.
New Vitamin
The first flight of a large aircraft to be powered by electric fuel cells began with a takeoff early June 7, 2003 from the Hawaiian island of Kauai. The Helios Prototype flying wing, part of NASA's Environmental Research Aircraft and Sensor Technology (ERAST) program, uses solar panels to power its 10 electric motors for takeoff and during daylight portions of its planned 20-hour shakedown flight. As sunlight diminishes, Helios will switch to a fuel cell system to continue flight into the night. The takeoff on June 7 sets the stage for a two-day Helios endurance flight in the stratosphere planned for mid-July.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Caters to Big Tourists
Freedom Paradise Resort
In a world enthralled by thin, perhaps no place is more slanted toward the slender or more daunting for the double-chinned than the beach.
No more. The beach is being made safe for the amply built with the opening of what claims to be the world's first "size-friendly, all inclusive beach resort." At the Freedom Paradise resort south of Cancun, the motto is: "Live Large, Live Free!"
The resort, which formally opens June 15, targets people afraid to go out on the sand with a few extra pounds, or a few extra dozens of pounds. No more enduring cruel jokes on the beach, or wisecracks from the staff.
"We have hired personnel of all sizes, and have specially trained our slim staff, because there's a lot of discrimination in everyday life," said Jurriaan Klink, commercial director of the resort, about 85 miles south of Cancun. "There are a lot of people who put off vacations, saying 'I'll buy that bikini when I lose 15 pounds.' We say, why wait to lose weight, when you can enjoy life now?"
The 112-room property has plenty of places to eat as part of its $150 per-night double-occupancy rate. The owners expanded from two restaurants to five, each with a different theme: international, Italian, Mexican, a steakhouse, a Hawaiian-style seafood room and a snack bar.
Freedom Paradise Resort
Chewing Through Idaho
Mormon Crickets
Mormon crickets are chewing their way through southwestern Idaho at an alarming rate, devouring crops and creating road hazards in what locals say is the worst outbreak since World War II.
The Boise County Commission has already declared a disaster and the state has posted warning signs on roads for the pests. Crickets smashed by cars on the road surface create a mush slicker than black ice.
The insects got their name after invading the fields of Mormon settlers in Utah in 1848. They're not actually crickets - rather a species of shieldbacked katydid that belong to a grasshopper family.
Their voracious appetites take in anything. At a density of just one cricket per square yard, they can consume 38 pounds of forage per acre as they pass through an area. They will even eat each other.
Once the crickets are on the move, their mobility makes them harder to kill, because they can travel a mile in a day and up to 50 miles in a season.
Mormon Crickets
'Ark of Darkness'
"The Ark of Darkness", a Political/Science-Fiction work, in tidy, weekly installments (and updated every Friday).
'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
