'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Baron Dave Romm
Baron Dave Will Sell Out
By Baron Dave Romm
This was an editorial read 3/22/03 on Shockwave
Well, we're at war with Iraq. Why? To be sure, Saddam Hussein is a bad guy, but the US had to break all sorts of international laws to try to justify the attack.
The bad guys are winning. As predicted by Robert Heinlein, religious fanatics have taken over the US. The world is run by the bin Laden family and the Ken Lays, even if they get caught. Well, there's only one thing to do: Sell Out. "I want everything I've seen in the movies," yells Gene Wilder in The Producers. Clearly, having morals just gets in the way of today's conservative success story. And so I say to the far right: I CAN be bought. But unlike the far right, I have morals AND ethics. My price isn't cheap. Bush, Cheney, Powell, Ashcroft and co. have been spending billions bribing Turkey and Cameroon to be on their side. I want in. But I don't come cheap: My price for becoming a whore: One billion dollars.
For one billion dollars I will support the Cover Up War. I will help distract people from the US loss in The War On Terror. Excuse me, War on Terra. For one billion dollars I will drone on about tax cuts and pretend Bush's economic program hasn't driven the US economy into the toilet. For one billion dollars I will ignore right wing fanatacism here in the US. For one billion dollars I won't report on the conviction of doctor-killer James Koop, described by prosecutors as a "religious terrorist". For one billion dollars I will pretend that invading Afghanistan again isn't a sign of major failure after 9/11. You don't have to create a new enemy if you can beat up on the old one, and I want to be the beneficiary of economies of scale.
It will be hard, selling out. The attack came almost exactly when Bush said it would, telling our enemies exactly when we were coming and endangering our troops revealing our plans. Naturally, on Fox "News" the generals and consultants who sold out went on and on about how this was a "surprise" and unprecedented in warfare. A decent news producer would have cut these idiots off in mid-sentence and they would have been fired immediately. To the conservative news media, their lies and unprofessionalism were the height of journalism. It goes against everything America stands for to insult our troops by saying that dissent at home will prevent our armed forces from doing the job they were trained for and so superbly execute. But for a billion dollars I can say anything in the name of patriotism, even if it's all just lies.
Dennis Miller sold out. Colin Powell sold out. George W. Bush had to flip flop on his religion and claim to stop drinking to sell out. But look at all these people now. They have money, fame, glory, power, women and the adulation of a bunch of marching morons.
I want that.
If the right wing gets me, they get a former Radical Middle of the Roader who works for a multi-cultural radio station. I will claim to speak for all the nationalities represented by Fresh Air Radio. It's not true, of course, but the truth never stopped the right from making claims, and for a billion dollars I'd even sell out this radio station. Sorry guys.
A billion dollars is a lot of money, and I doubt the bank will cash the check, so I will accept payment in the installment plan. The right wing can bribe me with real estate, paintings by Old Masters and the skull of Geronimo. But I won't accept stock options. Hey, even I have my limits.
Note: Shockwave Rider Brian would go for a tenth of that, or $100,000,000. Dougwas holding out for Spice, the drug that makes intergalactic travel possible in Dune. Also, if people wait until the Pledge Drive this week to send me a billion dollars, I would throw in a KFAI mug.
Baron Dave Romm is a conceptual artist and a noble of Ladonia with a radio show, a very weird CD collection and an ever growing list of political links. He reviews things at random for obscure web sites. You can read all his music recommendations from Bartcop-E here, and you can hear the last two Shockwave broadcasts in Real Audio here (scroll down to Shockwave). Thanks to everyone who has sent me music to play on the air, and I'm collecting extra-weird stuff for a possible CD compilation.
He's Been Busy - Again!
The Worried Shrimp
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Another sunny, breezy day.
Thought Steve Martin did a wonderful job. But, then, I'm an unabashed Steve Martin fan. Long, long time ago, saw him perform (the 'happy feet' days), and he stated that no music sounds depressing on a banjo.
Well, I bought my first banjo the next day. Lovely 6-string (with lots of miles now). Steve Martin also proved that growing up behind the 'Orange Curtain' does not (necessarily) kill one's soul.
Today, I'm featuring pictures of the protests in San Francisco by the ever fabulous Marc Perkel. Scroll down far enough & there's even a video!
Found the down side of letting the kid tape his own fingers - go through a LOT tape real fast. LOL
Tonight, Monday, CBS is supposed to open with a RERUN 'King Of Queens', followed by a RERUN 'Yes, Dear', then a
RERUN 'Raymond', followed by a RERUN 'Still Standing', and capped with a RERUN 'CSI: Miami'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave is guest host Paul Shaffer, are Connie Nielsen, Jeff Foxworthy, and Cat Power.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are George Hamilton and Mandy Moore.
NBC offers a FRESH 'Fear Factor', then the FRESH, but odious, 'Miss USA 2003'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are Wanda Sykes, Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper, and Deana Carter.
On a RERUN Conan are Zach Braff, Jeri Ryan, and Rhett Miller.
On a RERUN Carson Daly (from 2/18/03), are Michael Clarke Duncan, Harland Williams, and Unwritten Law.
ABC opens with a FRESH 'Veritas: The Quest', followed by a FRESH 'The Practice', and
then a FRESH 'Miracles'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Dave Foley, Scott Thompson, and astrologer Larry Pines, with this week's guest co-host Slash.
The WB has a RERUN '7th Heaven' followed by a RERUN 'Everwood'.
Faux offers a FRESH 'Boston Pubic', followed by a FRESH, but vile, 'Married By America'.
UPN opens with a FRESH 'The Parkers', followed by a RERUN 'One On One', then a RERUN
'Girlfriends', and a FRESH 'Half & Half'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Actor Andy Serkis, one of the cast members of 'The Lord of The Rings The Two Towers' which is nominated for the best picture Oscar holds a sign reading 'No War for Oil' as he arrives for the 75th Annual Academy Awards at the Kodak Theater in Hollywood, California March 23, 2003.
Photo by Fred Prouser
The 'Winners'
2003
ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Adrien Brody
THE PIANIST
ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Chris Cooper
ADAPTATION
ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Nicole Kidman
THE HOURS
ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Catherine Zeta-Jones
CHICAGO
ANIMATED FEATURE FILM
SPIRITED AWAY
Hayao Miyazaki
75th Annual Academy Awards
Have a bonus page set up for Oscar coverage here.
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
This Year's Host
Steve Martin
Comedian Steve Martin kicked off the 75th anniversary edition of the Academy Awards on Sunday, poking fun at many of the stars in attendance and jokingly confessing that he had "licked all the Oscars," but for the most part avoiding the topic of the war in Iraq.
Making his second appearance as host of the Oscars, the white-haired comedian opened the show with only an oblique reference to the war that has overshadowed pre-Oscar events in Hollywood and prompted organizers to tone down the usual razzle-dazzle of the awards show.
Walking on to the gilded stage at the top of the telecast, Martin looked around and said, with tongue planted firmly in cheek, "Well, I'm glad they cut back on all the glitz. You probably noticed there was no fancy red carpet tonight. That'll send 'em a message."
Proceeding in a monologue studded with jabs at showbiz pomp and celebrity, he added, "By the way, the proceeds from tonight's Oscar telecast, and I think this is great, will be divvied up among huge corporations."
Martin turned his trademark sardonic wit on a number of the Oscar nominees, joking at one point, "Tonight, Jack Nicholson and Meryl Streep made Oscar history backstage, and it wasn't pretty."
He added: "It was a big year for Jack, He also got in a hot tub with Kathy Bates. But hey, who hasn't?"
Both Nicholson, nominated as best actor for "About Schmidt," and Bates, as best supporting actress in the same film, looked shocked and then laughed at the ribbing.
Of Nicole Kidman, who famously wore a prosthetic nose in her Oscar-nominated portrayal of British writer Virginia Woolf in "The Hours," Martin delivered the obviously bogus revelation that she "has worn a fake nose in every movie she's ever made, except 'The Hours.' Looking good, Nicole."
Turning to last year's best actress winner, Halle Berry, sitting in the front row, Martin said, "Halle Berry is here, and notice I'm standing exactly 22 feet from her, in compliance with the court order."
Then, poking at himself, Martin, who first hosted the Academy Awards in 2001, said, "I've just realized that hosting the Oscars for the second time is like making love to a woman for the second time -- I guess."
And in a reference to the aggressive pre-Oscar campaigning by Miramax Films and its hit musical "Chicago," which earned 13 Oscar nominations, Martin said, "Now here's what they did, and you tell me if its fair. They made a really good movie that everybody likes."
Paying tribute to veteran star Mickey Rooney, who was in the audience, Martin said: "At one point Mickey Rooney was the biggest box office star in all the 38 states."
As Rooney stood up at his seat in the balcony and blew kisses to the audience, Martin shouted to him, "I'm sorry we couldn't get you a better seat, but Vin Diesel is here."
Martin rounded out his monologue with a faux tribute to movie stars, set to stirring music: "Movie stars are many things, they can be tall, short, thin or skinny. They can be Democrats or ... skinny. ... We worship them, we idolize them, sometimes we're annoyed with them, like when they shoot their wives.
"Movie stars crave publicity but have the decency not to publicize that they have slept with me," he continued, as shots of a number of stars flashed on the screen -- Kidman, Berry, Julianne Moore, Renee Zellweger, Diane Lane, Julie Andrews, Mary Steenburgen & Ted Danson, the cartoon character Stitch and Ernest Borgnine."
Steve Martin
Actress Kate Hudson flashes a peace sign as she poses for photographers as she arrives for the 75th annual Academy Awards in Los Angeles, Sunday, March 23, 2003.
Photo by Kim D. Johnson
Scolds Bush from Oscar Stage
Michael Moore
Politics grabbed center stage at the Academy Awards on Sunday as the winner for best documentary, director Michael Moore, charged President Bush with waging a "fictitious war."
Wagging his finger from the stage as he was both applauded and booed by the assembled celebrities, Moore said, "We are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you."
Moore, who received a standing ovation from the assembled celebrities, invited the other nominees for best documentary film to join him onstage in solidarity against the war against Iraq.
"We like nonfiction and we live in fictitious times. We live in a time where we have fictitious election results, that elect a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons," Moore said.
Michael Moore
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Full Text of His Acceptance Speech
Michael Moore
Michael Moore:
Whoa. On behalf of our producers Kathleen Glynn and Michael Donovan from Canada, I'd like to thank the Academy for this. I have invited my fellow documentary nominees on the stage with us, and we would like to — they're here in solidarity with me because we like nonfiction. We like nonfiction and we live in fictitious times. We live in the time where we have fictitious election results that elects a fictitious president. We live in a time where we have a man sending us to war for fictitious reasons. Whether it's the fictition of duct tape or fictition of orange alerts we are against this war, Mr. Bush. Shame on you, Mr. Bush, shame on you. And any time you got the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, your time is up. Thank you very much.
click on "DOCUMENTARY FEATURE", and see/hear for yourself.
Is This The Haircut?
Is This The Picture?
The White House was furious when the BBC aired verboten images of President Bush getting his hair done before Wednesday night's speech to the nation, but the British TV network isn't the only one in trouble. An AP photographer also put an off-limits photo on the wire. "The White House still photographers were allowed to snap Bush giving his speech looking in on him from outside the windows in the Rose Garden," said one journo. "They can take a picture to check focus before the event, but can't use it. But the AP photographer was so pleased with his that he put it on the wire, infuriating colleagues who'd told him not to."
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
How Top Oscar Winners Did
Box Office
The top-winning films at the 75th annual Academy Awards ceremony, their distributor, the number of Oscars they won, their month of release and approximate North American box office total so far:
"Chicago," Miramax, six Oscars, released in December, $131 million.
"The Pianist," Focus Features, three Oscars, released in December, $20 million.
"The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers," New Line, two Oscars, released in December, $335 million.
"Frida," Miramax, two Oscars, released in October, $25 million.
Box Office
Michael Moore gives a cameraman a peace sign as he arrives for the 75th annual Academy Awards Sunday, March 23, 2003, in Los Angeles.
Photo by Amy Sancetta
Hits the Jackpot
Travel Channel
The Travel Channel will launch "The World Poker Tour," which follows high stakes tournaments at casinos worldwide.
It will bow next Sunday before switching to Wednesday evenings April 2.
An event at the Bellagio Hotel and Casino boasting a $1.5 million purse kicks off the 13-episode series. The tournament is open to anyone who can afford the $25,000 entry fee.
The show will be co-hosted by poker champion Mike Sexton and thesp Vincent Van Patten. Steve Lipscomb, founder of the World Poker Tour, will produce with Lyle Berman, a longtime champ of the game.
Travel Channel
Plans To Scale Mt. Everest
Ungdi Tshering Sherpa
A Nepalese Sherpa climber who lost both hands in an accident five years ago said he is planning to climb Mount Everest.
Ungdi Tshering Sherpa, 32, who lost his hands in an electrocution accident in 1998, wants to scale the world's highest mountain to mark the golden jubilee of the first ascension.
"I got inspiration of climbing Mount Everest from a blind climber who successfully climbed the summit in 2001," he told reporters.
Sherpa, a father of two, has a pair of artificial steel hands which he bought in London with the help of donations from fellow mountaineers.
He plans to lead a five-member expedition to the 8,848-metre (29,028-foot) Everest in April and has already raised two-thirds of the 32,000 dollars needed through businesses, non-governmental organisations and individuals.
Sherpa worked as a porter and guide for mountaineers in the Himalayas since he was 12. Since his accident he has worked as an official at a mountaineering academy.
Last year he successfully climbed the 6,000-metre (19,684-foot) high Nayakang peak.
Ungdi Tshering Sherpa
A Jordanian displays boxing puppets of Iraqi President Saddam Hussein and the President of United States George W. Bush at his store in Amman, March 20, 2003. Jordanians gathered at mosques for special prayers while several hundreds of Jordanian students protested against U.S. dawn strikes on Baghdad.
Photo by Ali Jarekji
'The Osbournes'
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