'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Baron Dave Romm
JRR Tolkien
By Baron Dave Romm
As mentioned in Bartcop-E a few weeks ago (this column as been delayed as we had to hide out from marching orcs), January 3, 2003CE would have been John Ronald Reuel Tolkien's Eleventy First birthday, the age Bilbo was celebrating at his party in the beginning of The Lord of the Rings trilogy. He has been dead thirty years and couldn't make the party, so if you missed the celebration its not too late to lift a toast to The Professor.
The four books of The Hobbit/Lord of the Rings (hereafter H/LotR) have long been my favorites. I rarely reread books, since I have a pretty good memory, and H/LotR holds the record at five, beating the next several books out by at least two readings. Growing up, I had a map of Middle Earth on the ceiling above my bed, within arms reach of me in the top bunk. So, like many, I felt protective of the story and wanted Peter Jackson and co. to do a good job on the movies. And they have. On the Shockwave Ratings Scale of 9 to 23 where 9 is bad and 23 is good and all Steve Brust novels get a 17, the Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers gets a solid 21. That might move up when all three movies come together on a DVD compilation with even more extras.
Now that the movie's been out for a while and I've had a chance to talk it over with some of my fellow sf fans, I can't help but feeling that some people are taking things Too Seriously. One friend was seriously dissing the movie because, among other nitpicks, the pikes were not the right length. While the history of military technology is fascinating and it's great when a movie gets it right, I feel that the presence of elves, dwarves and wizards makes parallels to Earth designs a bit iffy, and I'm more than willing to suspend disbelief if the big pointy things look dark and dangerous. Frankly, the fact that anyone is even talking about armor and fort design shows the loving detail that went into the project. Maybe I'm just growing older (or, heaven forbid, growing up) but I really miss Sensawonda, the child-like sense of wonder, awe and amazement you feel when reading good science fiction and fantasy. It's all new and the possibilities are unlimited. Attention to detail helps build a world; dwelling on the minutiae gets in the way. I look forward to the DVD, where I can explore all I want, but for now I just want to let the big screen to take me to another world.
Here's my take: Books and movies are two different media. I forgive most (though not all) of the changes from the book to the film because they help tell Tolkien's story and they made for a better movie. For example, the Ents are all wrong. On the other hand, the Ents in the book aren't described all that well, and any depiction of them would have been largely the imagination of the cinematographers. I think they did pretty well in movie terms. The movie loses the slow time-honed deliberate seriousness of Treebeard and the other Ents who are fulfilling their obligations as treehearders, and the whole sub-plot about the search for the Entwives is not depicted. Thoom thoom. But you get a good movie image and a great battle sequence. You should read the book AND see the movie.
It should be noted that JRR himself probably would have hated the movie. This is a guy so anal that he wanted LotR AND the Silmarillion published in one big tome, and fought the publisher hard about splitting LotR into three books. He had a clear vision for his work that isn't quite the same as anyone else's. His correspondence detail some of his misgivings. But I digress.
The Hobbit was published in 1937 with The Lord of the Rings in 1954, with the Silmarillion and other Tolkien works following later. There are a lot of books and ancillary material, available in several places; too many to list here. I'm going to concentrate on the audio works.
Audio books and other readings are available from The Tolkien Society and Pricegrabber has a good set of listings, notably Tolkien himself reading selections (also here and even cheaper through amazon.com which has other audio listings and maybe other places). I highly recommend the BBC audio production, available through Random House and amazon's uk outlet. The official LotR site has a the BBC Hobbit production as well the BBC LotR. Just the thing for those long road trips. I've been doing audio production for nearly 25 years, and it simply doesn't get any better than this. You can hear samples before downloading the audio books though audible.com or lordoftheringsshop.com which has loads of H/LotR CDs and music inspired by.
Speaking of music, many people have been inspired by Tolkien's works. Here's a downloadable mp3 of a recent song. Classical music, the movie soundtracks and many of the other items mentioned here through theonering.com. The soundtracks and an authorized CD of songs from the books at artezia.com. And, of course, no mention of music from Middle Earth would be complete without the Leonard Nimoy The Ballad of Bilbo Baggins. View the video here (Amazing that I remembered it so well, after seeing it once in its initial airing in 1968 or 69). As mentioned in an earlier column, you can get this song as part of the Nimoy/Shatner collection.
JRR Tolkien created a marvelous world full of small creatures with furry toes, large creatures often mistaken for trees, magical entities, kings, heroes, corrupted wizards, evil beings, selfish spiders and more, each with their own story and their own language. Read the books. Follow the maps. See the movies. Listen to the music. It's all good.
To: The Professor.
Baron Dave Romm is a conceptual artist and a noble of Ladonia with a radio show, a very weird CD collection and an ever growing list of political links. He reviews things at random for obscure web sites. You can read all his music recommendations from Bartcop-E here. Thanks to everyone who has sent me music to play on the air, and I'm collecting extra-weird stuff for a possible CD compilation.
Reader Review
'Penn & Teller: Bullshit!'
The Penn & Teller show was awesome. They exposed those "talk to the
dead" flakes completely, just tore them to shreds.
They showed how they
trick people with "cold readings" and talked to a number of people who
revealed how the programs are edited to cut out the far greater number
of misses than hits.
Future shows are going to go after feng shui, creationism, all manner
of contemporary bullshit.
I don't know that it's worth giving up HBO, but it was a damn good show!
~~ Neal H
Thanks, Neal!
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Beginning to think it's time to put the fans back in the windows. Wonder where El Nino went?
Watched the 'SNL' insert during the Super Bowl half-time, or how to stretch 7 minutes of material into 20, lamely.
Had Fred over for dinner. He's moved north & inland & is now a Valley-ite.
Today is dear old Dad's 78th birthday. And since it's Monday, it's Rotary night, and that means there will be a cake. ; )
Tonight, Monday, CBS opens the evening with a RERUN 'King Of Queesn', followed by a RERUN 'Yes, Dear', then a
FRESH 'Raymond', then a FRESH 'Still Standing', followed by a FRESH 'CSI: Miami'.
On a RERUN Dave (from 1/7/03), are Richard Gere and Chris Elliott.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers is Patricia Heaton.
NBC starts with a FRESH 'Fear Factor', then a FRESH 'Third Watch', followed by a FRESH 'Crossing Jordan'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJay are Heather Graham and Vivian Green.
On a RERUN Conan are Adam Sandler and Jim Gaffigan.
On a RERUN Carson Daly (from 12/26/02), are Tom Brokaw and Clipse.
ABC starts the night with the Series Premiere of 'Veritas: The Quest', then a FRESH 'The Practice', and caps it with
the Series Premiere of 'Miracles'.
The WB has a FRESH '7th Heaven', and a FRESH 'Everwood'.
Faux has a 'special' - 'Bridezillas', followed by a FRESH 'Joe Millionaire'.
UPN has a RERUN 'The Parkers', a RERUN 'One On One', a RERUN 'Girlfriends', and a
RERUN 'Half & Half'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Paul Newman, center, stands with his wife Joanne Woodward, right, and director James Naughton, during the curtain call of the final performance of the play 'Our Town' after the audience and cast members sang 'Happy Birthday' to Newman, at
the Booth Theater on Broadway in New York, Jan 26, 2003. Newman's 78th birthday coincided with the closing night of the play.
Photo by Robert Mecea
Starts Sound Registry
Library of Congress
There's President Theodore Roosevelt denouncing corporate swindles. Robert Frost reading his poetry. Buffalo Bill Cody urging war with Spain over Cuba.
They are joined by 2.5 million other voices some famous, some not and sounds the huffing and puffing of a steam locomotive is one preserved at the Library of Congress.
On Monday, Librarian of Congress James Billington was announcing the first 50 sounds to be entered in a National Recording Registry. It seeks to ensure even greater protection for some of the most notable songs, speeches and other utterances.
The library is not the only government repository for sounds. The National Archives and Records Administration has tens of thousands of hours of Capitol Hill speeches, committee hearings and various other gatherings.
The collection has grown so large that the sounds, along with the library's enormous photo archive, will be moved to a new 41-acre complex in Culpeper, Va., about 70 miles southwest of Washington. Storage space is being built
into the side of a small mountain. Construction should be complete in three years.
Anything stored in Culpeper will be accessible via computer at the library's Madison Building, on Capitol Hill a block from the Supreme Court.
In conjunction with the Smithsonian Institution, the library has embarked on a pilot project called "Save Our Sounds" that seeks to preserve recordings such as those made on wax cylinders by inventor Thomas Edison and others
done on acetate discs in the early 20th century.
For more, Library of Congress Starts Sound Registry
Library of Congress
Veterans' stories
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Laughs About 'Superman' Screen Test
Christopher Reeve
Looking for a good laugh? Christopher Reeve suggests you check out the "Superman" DVD.
The disc comes with additional material, including Reeve's screen test for the Man of Steel. Reeve said he was "horrified" at how he looked in the test: underweight and sweaty.
"It's amazing that they cast me," he said. "I looked ridiculous."
Christopher Reeve
U.S. actors Leonardo DiCaprio (L), Tom Hanks (2nd L) and director Steven Spielberg (R) talk to German TV host Thomas Gottschalk during the TV show 'Wetten, dass...?!' (Bet It...?!) in the southern German town of Boeblingen
near Stuttgart January 25, 2003. 'Wetten, dass...?!' is Europe's most successful game show.
Photo by Ralph Orlowski
Baby News
Scott Hamilton
Olympic ice skating champion Scott Hamilton and his wife of one month have announced they are expecting their first child in September, Hamilton's publicist said.
Hamilton and Tracie Rose Robinson, who were married Dec. 14 in Malibu, hosted a wedding reception Friday in Thousand Oaks, Michael Sterling said Sunday in a news release. A message left for Sterling wasn't returned.
They announced the pregnancy at the reception, the news release said.
Among the 200 guests were celebrities William Shatner, Susan Anton, Kevin Sorbo, Dan Cortese; ice skating colleagues Kristi Yamaguchi, Christopher Dean and wife Jill Trenary, Paul Wylie, Roslynn Sumners, Tai Babilonia, Steven
Cousins, Doug Ladret; and Olympic champions Bart Conner and wife Nadia Comanechi, Mitch Gaylord and Bruce Jenner, the release said.
Scott Hamilton
Released From Hospital
Billy Joel
"Piano Man" Billy Joel was hospitalized for several hours early Sunday after smashing his car into a tree along a highway on far eastern Long Island.
A hospital spokesman confirmed that the singer was released Sunday morning but would not comment on Joel's injuries.
The 53-year-old Rock and Roll Hall of Famer had swerved into the tree as he was driving his Mercedes Benz in Sag Harbor late Saturday, said Sag Harbor Village Police Chief Thomas Fabiano.
No summonses were issued and Joel was not given a Breathalyzer test, police Officer Hugh Caulfield said Sunday.
Joel was taken to Stony Brook University Hospital, where a hospital spokesman said he arrived around midnight and was released at about 7:30 a.m.
Billy Joel
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Shrinkage Happens
Nike Streaker
Since Nike's hilarious new "streaker" ad debuted during recent NFL playoff games, stunned viewers want to know: Is the chubby guy eluding players and officials all over the English soccer field really wearing only a long winter scarf tossed around his neck and Nike Shok sneakers?
Yep! For four days in December, 32-year-old Mark Bowden stripped bare for up to eight hours a day in front of 500 hired extras (made to look like 30,000 by a computer), four real cops and two teams of soccer players to star in the popular new commercial.
The ad was shot at the south London stadium of Millwall, the team famous for having the toughest fans in English soccer.
But neither angry soccer players chasing him down the field, nor heaters and layers of clothing available between takes, stopped Bowden "screaming with pain" at the cold when he got naked.
"I think I look pretty good in it actually, but any man will tell you what happens when it's really cold," Bowden said.
Nike Streaker
Visitors to a carp competition look the brightly coloured fish, known locally as 'Nishiki-goi', in Tokyo January 26, 2003. Avid fans of these fish are willing to pay huge sums -- as much as 30 million yen ($255,000) -- for a single extraordinary specimen.
Photo by Issei Kato
Flout Guild Rules
Cable Actors
The Hollywood guilds have been looking the other way when members perform non-union work on cable networks.
Despite extensive proclamations last year that no guild member shall work for a non-signatory producer, the Screen Actors Guild is ignoring the rule when it comes to shows such as Fox Sports Net's "The Best Damn Sports Show Period." And, despite telling its
members to refuse non-signatory work, the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists has admitted it does not penalize members for doing so in basic cable.
The "Best Damn" talker, starring Tom Arnold and featuring former pro sports stars Michael Irvin, John Kruk and John Salley, has been on the air since mid-2001. The non-signatory status of "Best Damn" surfaced recently when producers issued a casting call for non-union thesps to perform comedy sketches.
As for SAG, its Rule One explicitly bars its 98,000 members from working for non-signatory producers. SAG spokeswoman Ilyanne Kichaven asserted that basic cable "reality" shows such as "Best Damn" do not fall under SAG jurisdiction, but admitted that
SAG and AFTRA have been conferring recently on strategic approaches to address the issue.
SAG vigorously enforced Rule One during and after the 2000 commercials strike. It banned 75 non-member thesps for periods ranging from six months to five years for working on non-union ads during the bitter work stoppage.
SAG also fined Elizabeth Hurley and Tiger Woods $100,000 each for performing in non-union spots during the strike and identified seven other members who were expelled for strikebreaking.
Cable Actors
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Killer Seeks Perks
Robert Chambers
Sex killer Robert Chambers wants his own jet to fly him away when he gets out of prison next month. A rep for the yuppie punk who strangled Jennifer Levin in Central Park in 1986 has contacted network-TV anchors, offering
the first interview with him in exchange for a private jet to whisk him off. "So far, none of the networks have indicated that they would be willing or able to accept that proposal," one TV exec said. The source also says
that Chambers wants to be flown to a secret location where he will "do the one interview that he feels he has to do and then no more."
Robert Chambers
Kyle White of Omaha, Neb., chases his one-footed duck, Daffy, past the finish line at the 23rd annual Avoca Quackoff in Avoca, Neb., Saturday, Jan. 25, 2003. Some 107 ducks were raced to benefit the Avoca Volunteer Fire Department. The event pits four ducks racing at once down a snowpacked 'raceway,' eliminating two ducks
per heat until a winner is found. Daffy, who was also bleeding from his side, was eliminated in the second heat.
Photo by Nati Harnik
Donating to Fight Hunger in Brazil
Gisele Bundchen
Model Gisele Bundchen is donating $150,000 to help fight hunger in her native Brazil.
Bundchen will hand over the money her fee for one show in Sao Paulo Fashion Week to Brazilian first lady Marisa Silva, O Globo newspaper reported Sunday.
The fashion week starts Monday and Bundchen's appearance will be in a show by designer Ricardo Almeida, who also dresses President Luiz Inacio Lula da Silva.
Gisele Bundchen
Preserving A Memory
'Dad's Tattoos'
An Australian man has shown that his love for his father was more than just skin deep by having his dad's tattoos removed, preserved and framed.
Carl Whittaker, from the rural Queensland town of Mackay, has four of the tattoos hanging on his dining room wall, Australian Associated Press reports.
Whittaker says the unusual memento which includes a large eagle tattoo which took up most of his dad's back -- was his father's wish.
He said his father had the tattoos done while he was being treated for cancer and he had requested they be preserved in his will.
"The people that know me just know it was out of respect for my old man, because he wasn't just my old man -- he was my best mate," Whittaker is quoted as saying.
Before his father died in 1999, Whittaker found a taxidermist willing to remove the tattoos and a company willing to tan them.
"But that's what he wanted, and I had a lot of respect for the man, so I did it. I suppose it preserves his memory.
"It's one of those things he got in his head, and he wanted it done. Once it's in his head you couldn't get it out, he was that kind of bloke."
'Dad's Tattoos'
A young Chinese girl wait for customers to buy traditional lucky scrolls for the upcoming Chinese New Year of the Goat in Haikou, the capital of China's southern Hainan province, on January 26, 2003. Preparations continue for the lunar new year, which falls on February 1, when Chinese usher in the Year of the Goat.
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
Critical Date Approaches
Nick's Crusade