Bartcop Entertainment - Friday, 5 December, 2003
Friday
5 December, 2003
(Updated Daily)
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Extra Special Bonus
Disinfotainment Today Presents
By Michael Dare
presents
by
Paul Krassner
Blowjobs, Ballet, Baggies: The parts left out of the Reagan movie
The way CBS chickened out of telecasting their miniseries, The Reagans, you would've thought the screenplay had referred to a claim in the wife of Peter Lawford's biography of her husband that Nancy Reagan gave the best blowjobs in Hollywood. You would've figured that it must have revealed the details of her alleged affair with Frank Sinatra - he did it her way - or maybe, who knows, her apocryphal fling with former Los Angeles Police Chief Darryl Gates. You would've been certain there was footage from that gay orgy in which, according to Larry Flynt, Reagan had participated before he was president.
When I was eight years old, I saw the movie, Knute Rockne - All American, starring Ronald Reagan as The Gipper. Reagan immediately became my first role model - he was handsome and dynamic, with a twinkle in his eye - and I even started combing my hair just like his, using water to maintain a fancy pompadour.
Eventually, I grew disillusioned, and when I grew up to be a stand-up comic, Reagan became a favorite target. I didn't have to make stuff up, just report it. During his campaign for the presidency, he actually agreed to take a senility test if the proper authorities concluded that he had become senile. Then, as if to prove his senility, he promised, "If I am elected, I will end the inheritance tax, for rich and poor alike."
My career as a tv writer was bracketed by the Reagan family.
In 1980, I was hired as head writer for an HBO special, satirizing the election campaign. The show was titled A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the White House and took place in a modern newsroom, with Steve Allen as anchor. This was the first time in American history that three major presidential candidates - Ronald Reagan, Jimmy Carter and John Anderson - had all publicly declared themselves to be born-again Christians. So the election was no longer a choice between the lesser of two evils; it had become a matter of choosing between the least of three sinners.
Near the end of March 1981, I delivered a keynote address at the Youth International Party convention in New York. (These were latterday Yippies, originally launched as Zippies during the 1972 Republican convention.) I asked the audience a rhetorical question, "How would you like to be a Secret Service agent guarding Ronald Reagan, knowing that his vice president, George Bush, is the former head of the CIA?" On March 30, the new president was shot by John Hinckley in order to make a favorable impression on actress Jodie Foster. And if that seemed crazy, Hinckley later came out for gun control, and Reagan came out against it.
Although it took more than a decade after the assassinations of John and Robert Kennedy for there to be a band called the Dead Kennedys, it took only a few months after the attempted assassination of Ronald Reagan for there to be a group called Jodie Foster's Army. (Other bands were named Sharon Tate's Baby, Jim Jones and the Suicides and Lennonburger.)
"In the 60s we knew that the CIA was smuggling heroin from Southeast Asia," I'd say at a campus gig. "In the 80s we know that they're smuggling cocaine from Central America. The same planes that fly weapons for the Contras to airports in Panama, Honduras and Costa Rica come back to Florida, Louisiana and Arkansas with their cargos filled to the brim with cocaine, even though the administration is carrying on its anti-drug campaign. The pilots only have to be careful to evade the radar screen. So while Nancy Reagan is saying, 'Just say no,' the CIA is saying, 'Just fly low.'"
In 1991, I was hired as a writer on The Ron Reagan Show, an ironic association in view of the kind of material I had written and performed about his father. But young Ron was a fellow cultural mutation, and he understood that I treated his parents as political symbols. I had met Ron's sister, Patti Davis, 10 years previously, when their father was still president. I told her, "I really respected your decision to appear at that antinuke rally."
"I was doing that before my father was president," she said. "I have to do it. I'm serious about that. It's the planet." (This was a logical extension of the time musician Graham Nash told Patti that she had a cute ass for a president's daughter, and she said, "I had a cute ass before I was the president's daughter.") Patti's Secret Service guards had been at that antinuke rally. "I wanted to take a stand," she told me, "by having all female Secret Service guards, but there's very few of them."
One time I noticed a bumper sticker that said "Subvert the Dominant Paradigm," which I mentioned to Ron, and he adopted it as the syndicated talk show's unspoken credo. We decided to defuse the fact that he was the son of the former president in a promo which included a recent clip of Ron as host of Evening at the Improv, saying, "I am the love child of Frank Sinatra - immediately followed by an old black-and-white film clip of Ronald Reagan saying, "Can you imagine what the Commies will do with this!" But Fox head Barry Diller happened to be watching tv at home. He felt that the promo was exploitative and yanked it off the air.
In the original CBS script of The Reagans, when Ron told his parents he was getting married, the reaction was, "Thank God he's not gay." In real life, Ron had been falsely outed by militant gays in New York. We knew this issue was likely to enter the dialogue on an upcoming program about gay rights, so he was prepared. In fact, my fellow New York Press columnist Michelangelo Signorile was one of the guests, and he mentioned those rumors on the show.
"I was a ballet dancer," Ron responded, "and any straight ballet dancer gets a rather thick skin about this sort of thing. But it occurred to me that it's insulting to my wife of 11 years, because it says she's living a lie, and I don't like that."
Ron had a charming sense of irreverence. In the conference room, we were watching a clip from the film Rapture, which was to be included on a program about religion. "I met a guy," Mimi Rogers is telling her husband.
"You should meet him. You could love him too."
"You fell for some rich homosexual," the husband says, laughing.
"He's the Lord Jesus Christ."
"And," Ron added, "he's hung like a stallion."
A producer, another writer and I were the pot-smokers on this show. We would smoke a joint while walking around the block. The producer bought his stash from an actress on a popular series, and one time we drove to her house to make a purchase. Ron came along for the ride. He told us how, when he had been a toker as a youth, his dad once found a marijuana-filled baggie in his bureau and confiscated it.
Another time, the four of us went for lunch at a nearby restaurant, and the hostess shook hands with Ron, saying, "I thought it was really cool for your sister to talk about masturbating in Vanity Fair."
Somehow that scene, like too much else to mention, didn't make it into The Reagans on Showtime.
Originally published in the New York Press
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'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
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Reader Suggestion
'Louisiana Live'
Mr. Robert A Rogers, who is an eleven year veteran of the Texas Air National Guard, will be a guest on Louisiana Live On Friday, December 5, 2003 at 3:05 until 3:30 PM CSt which can be heard in the southeast Louisiana area on AM 640 and AM 1400 or at:
www.louisianalive.net and the toll free number to dial into the program is: 1-800-673-5555.
Mr. Robert A. Rogers will discuss the results of his extensive research into the years resident George W. Bush served in the Texas Air National Guard.
"By July of 1970, Bush had earned his wings and racked up approximately 300 hours of flight time. This is an incredible 200 hours short of the flight hours amassed by nine other members of his flight school class. Unlike Bush, they had the requisite 500 hours needed to be accepted for active duty combat in Vietnam.
The next phase of Bush's service involves assignment to the Texas Air National Guard 111th Squadron..."
Check it out!
Thanks to that Mad Cat, JD!
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from Tim H
Ahnold Trivia
In case you trivia buffs are wondering, California Gov. Ahnold Schwarzenegger has killed 440 people on screen (so far).
Thanks, Tim H!
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from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
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Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny, breezy & cool.
The kid got sick at school today. As much as he dislikes driving the porcelain bus, he's more distraught over blowing his perfect attendance this year.
Just saw an incredibly unfunny comic on Leno - he must be a real laff-getter at freeper functions, though. 6 minutes that would have been better spent contemplating the scoopings of a cat box.
Tonight, Friday, CBS begins the evening with a FRESH 'Joan Of Arcadia', followed by a
RERUN 'JAG', then a FRESH 'The Handler'.
On a RERUN Dave are Dustin Hoffman and Jamie Oliver. (FRESH next week)
On a RERUN Craiggers are Mila Kunis, Eric Close, and Rufus Wainwright.
NBC starts the night with 'Dateline', followed by a FRESH 'Miss Match', then a FRESH 'Third Watch'.
Schedueled on a FRESH Jay are Nicole Kidman, Alicia Keys, NAS, and Ragiem.
Schedueled on a FRESH Conan are Andy Richter, Marilyn Manson, and Mick Foley.
Schedueled on a FRESH Carson Daly are John Stamos, Joe and Gavin Maloof, Erykah Badu, the Wailers, Mike Birbiglia, and Dave Graybill.
ABC opens the night with a RERUN 'George Lopez', followed by a RERUN 'Married To The Kellys', then a
FRESH 'Hope & Faith', followed by a FRESH 'Bonnie', then '20/20'.
Schedueled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Jeffrey Tambor, with this week's guest co-host Lenny Clarke.
The WB offers a RERUN 'Reba', followed by a RERUN 'What I Like About You', then a RERUN
'Grounded For Life', followed by a RERUN 'Like Family'.
Faux has 'TVs Naughtiest Blunders From Around The World', followed by a FRESH 'Boston Pubic'.
UPN has the movie 'Lost & Found'.
Check local PBS listings for 'NOW With Bill Moyers'.
A&E has 'A Barry Manilow Christmas: Live By Request'.
AMC offers the movie 'The Enemy Below', followed by the movie 'Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story', then the movie 'They Live'.
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Lovell;
[7pm] 'House Invaders' - Kingsheath;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms';
[8pm] 'Fawlty Towers' - The Builders;
[8:40pm] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - Sex and Violence;
[9:20pm] 'The Office' - Episode 2;
[10pm] 'At Home With the Braithwaites' - Episode 2;
[11:30pm] 'So Graham Norton' - Anthony Head;
[12am] 'Fawlty Towers' - The Builders;
[12:40am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - Sex and Violence;
[1:20am] 'The Office' - Episode 2;
[2am] 'At Home With the Braithwaites' - Episode 2;
[3am] 'Fawlty Towers' - The Builders;
[3:40am] 'Monty Python's Flying Circus' - Sex and Violence;
[4:20am] 'The Office' - Episode 2;
[5am] 'At Home With the Braithwaites' - Episode 2; and
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EST)
Bravo has 'Inside The Actor's Studio' (cast & creative team of 'Will & Grace'), followed by the movie 'Mulholland Falls', then the movie 'The Grifters'.
History has 'Modern Marvels', another 'Modern Marvels', and still another 'Modern Marvels'.
SciFi has 'Stargate SG-1', 'Tremors: The Series', 'Stargate SG-1', 'Scare Tactics', and another 'Scare Tactics'.
TCM celebrates the great director, Fritz Lang all day, and in the middle of the night offers
a little seen film,
'The Mortal Storm' (1940), about a German family & the Third Reich, starring
Margaret Sullavan, James Stewart,
Robert Young, Robert Stack,
Frank Morgan, and Maria Ouspenskaya. This movie is so powerful that
when Hitler saw it he banned all MGM films from Nazi occupied Europe.
[7am] 'Metropolis' (1927) SILENT ;
[9:15am] 'M' (1931);
[11:15am] 'Fury' (1936);
[1pm] 'You Only Live Once' (1937);
[2:30pm] 'Hangmen Also Die' (1943);
[4:45pm] 'Clash By Night' (1952);
[6:30pm] 'The Blue Gardenia' (1953);
[8pm] 'Mr. Blandings Builds His Dream House' (1948);
[10pm] 'The Cincinnati Kid' (1965);
[12am] 'Bullets Or Ballots' (1936);
[2am] 'The Sorrow and the Pity' (Part 1) (1971) ['Le Chagrin et la pitié'] ; and
[4:15am] 'The Mortal Storm' (1940). (ALL TIMES EST)
Saturday - 12/06
TCM offers 'Wonderful Country' (1959)
this morning, noteworthy for the appearance of Leroy 'Satchel' Paige, then spends all night
celebrating the always debonair David Niven.
[6am] 'Vigil In The Night' (1940);
[8am] 'Armored Car Robbery' (1950);
[9:30am] 'MGM Parade Show #15' (1955);
[10am] 'Wonderful Country' (1959);
[12pm] 'The Big Country' (1958);
[3pm] '2001: A Space Odyssey' (1968);
[5:30pm] 'Inherit The Wind' (1960);
[8pm] 'Around The World In 80 Days' (1956);
[11pm] 'The Prisoner Of Zenda' (1937);
[1am] 'Where The Spies Are' (1966);
[3am] 'The Charge Of The Light Brigade' (1936); and
[5am] 'The Toast Of New Orleans' (1950). (ALL TIMES EST)
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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Former President Bill Clinton shakes hands with James Brady, right, former press secretary to President Ronald Reagan, as they are applauded by NAACP President Kweisi Mfume, middle, during the celebration of the 10th anniversary of the passage of the Brady Bill, Thursday, Dec. 4, 2003, in Washington.
Photo by Kevin Wolf
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The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
(A very special thanks to TJ King for all her help in restoring 'Moose & Squirrel'!)
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Named Top Film by National Board of Review
'Mystic River'
The floodgates for the movie awards season are officially open -- and
"Mystic River" is the first one to rumble through with a best film
honor.
The Clint Eastwood-directed drama was named the top film of the year
Wednesday by the National Board of Review. Sean Penn, who plays a
father suffering from the loss of his daughter and the ghosts of a
childhood trauma involving two other friends, was named Best Actor.
The award also honors Penn for his work in the drama "21 Grams." Diane
Keaton was named Best Actress for the romantic comedy "Something's Gotta
Give."
In the supporting categories, Alec Baldwin won for "The Cooler" while
Patricia Clarkson was cited for both "The Station Agent" and "Pieces of
April."
Winners will receive their awards at ceremony in New York in January.
'Mystic River'
Thanks, Jim K!
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Clintons Nominated
Grammys
In one of the more unexpected political matchups of the year, Sen. Hillary Rodham Clinton is going head-to-head against liberal pundit Al Franken — for a Grammy.
Clinton, the Democratic senator from New York and former first lady, was nominated for a Grammy Thursday for the audiobook version of "Living History," the best-selling tome on her time in the White House.
She has already won a 1997 Grammy for the audiobook of "It Takes a Village." Now, she'll be competing with Franken, talk show host Bill Maher, actor Don Cheadle and poet Nikki Giovanni.
"That's tough competition," said Clinton, noting her husband, former President Bill Clinton, also was nominated for a Grammy.
Grammys
Grammy Awards 2004 - the Complete List of Nominations
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Actors Jack Nicholson (L) and Diane Keaton pose at the World premiere of their film 'Something's Gotta Give,' in New York, December 3, 2003. The film opens in theaters December 12.
Photo by Dave Allocca
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Christmas Music Special
Barry Manilow
Barry Manilow grew up Jewish in Brooklyn but he's had a longtime love of Christmas music. He's recorded two albums of holiday songs, which he'll perform from Friday night on A&E's Live by Request.
"It's holiday music, really. It's not religious music," Manilow said.
Manilow said the show, airing live from 8-10 p.m. EST, will mark the first time he and his band will perform these songs live.
The singer also will make a cameo Dec. 11 on NBC's Will & Grace, which he called "the funniest show on television."
Barry Manilow
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Ratings on Rebound
Cable News
Ratings for cable news channels bounced back somewhat in November after plunging to their lowest levels in nearly two years the previous month.
In primetime, Fox averaged 1.28 million viewers, a 10% decline from a year ago as CNN fell by 7% to 854,000, and MSNBC lost 24% to 288,000. For the day, Fox grew 2%, to 774,000 as CNN declined by 13% to 460,000, and MSNBC sank by 20% to 205,000.
CNN was also in a more competitive position with Fox in the key adults 25-54 demo where Fox and MSNBC dropped by 26% and CNN rose by 3% in primetime, largely on the strength of "Larry King Live," which beat Fox's "Hannity & Colmes" by 80,000 viewers but trailed in the demo. Of the five news channels, CNN commanded 29% of the adult viewing in November, up from 23% a year ago as Fox's share dropped from to 43% from 46% and MSNBC's to 13% from 14%.
Fox's "O'Reilly Factor" fell by 33% in the demo, but only 14% overall at 8 p.m., as it averaged 2.05 million viewers as it remained the most popular cable news show by more than 500,000 viewers.
Cable News
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In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
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AIDS Orphans 'Greatest Moral Issue'
Oprah Winfrey
Television talk show queen Oprah Winfrey highlighted the plight of AIDS orphans during a trip to Zambia Thursday calling it "the greatest moral issue of our present time."
Oprah, who was invited to Zambia by the United Nations Children Fund, visited clinics providing infected pregnant and nursing women with drugs to prevent them passing the HIV virus to their babies.
She arrived in Zambia after attending the Nelson Mandela AIDS benefit concert in South Africa at the weekend. She leaves Friday.
Oprah Winfrey
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A Goodyear blimp lays at its crash site in Carson, Calif. Thursday, Dec. 4, 2003. The blimp came loose from its moorings, drifted into a parked truck and nose-dived into a fertilizer pile beside a plant nursery Wednesday. A cameraman had a knee injury and was taken to a hospital, said Sgt. Paul Rice of the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department. No one else aboard the 192-foot-long Spirit of America was injured.
Photo by John Hayes
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Writing Children's Book
Ray Romano
Ray Romano, the Emmy-winning star of CBS' "Everybody Loves Raymond" is writing a children's book.
"Raymie, Dickie, and the Bean: Why I Love and Hate My Brothers" is described by the publisher as "the funny and true story of why brothers can be gross, disgusting and downright mean — but still love each other."
Romano is writing it with his brothers Richard and Robert, Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers announced Tuesday.
Ray Romano
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Formerly 'The Vidiot'
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Hospitalised With Shingles
Crown Princess Masako
Princess Masako, the wife of Japan's Crown Prince Naruhito, was hospitalised with the painful virus shingles, forcing her to skip events marking her 40th birthday five days from now.
She was admitted Thursday to the Imperial Household Agency Hospital, located on the premise of the Imperial Palace, and was to receive treatment, including intravenous feeding, for several days, an agency official said.
Crown Princess Masako
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Oetzi, a 5,000-year-old Iceman from the Italian Alps, lies in his new 'igloo' inside a museum in this undated photo made available by the South Tyrol Archaelogical Museum, Thursday, Dec. 4, 2003, in Bolzano, northern Italy. Officials at the South Tyrol Archaelogical Museum have built an igloo inside the museum out of tiles of ice to keep the Iceman colder and more humid to better preserve his remains.
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Miramax To Release Animated Films
Paul McCartney
Hollywood's Miramax studios announced that it was teaming up with Paul McCartney to release three animated stories produced by the former Beatle.
The stories, "Tropical Island Hum," "Tuesday" and "Rupert and the Frog Song" are scheduled for release on DVD and video in spring of next year, Miramax chairman Harvey Weinstein said in a statement.
McCartney worked with long-time collaborator Geoff Dunbar to create additional special effects in order to enhance the animation on the three shorts.
In addition, newly recorded live-action footage -- featuring McCartney himself -- will be included in the Miramax release.
Paul McCartney
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Lawyers Want New Judge
Mystikal
The judge who accepted rapper Mystikal's guilty plea to sexual battery shouldn't be allowed to sentence him because he has seen an "inflammatory" videotape of the assault, his lawyer says.
The rapper, whose real name is Michael Tyler, had been scheduled for sentencing Wednesday, but it was put off until Jan. 15 after a hearing on attorney David Bourland's complaint.
Tyler, 33, and two bodyguards pleaded guilty in June to sexual battery, which has a maximum 10-year prison sentence.
They'd videotaped themselves in forced sex acts with Tyler's hairstylist. The woman said Tyler accused her of stealing $80,000 worth of his checks and told her he wouldn't go to police if she did something "degrading," according to prosecutor Sue Bernie. The woman has denied stealing money.
Mystikal
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In Memory
David Hemmings
David Hemmings, a British screen icon of the swinging '60s best known for starring as a fashion photographer in the 1966 film "Blow Up," died while filming a movie in Romania. He was 62.
Hemmings later went behind the camera to focus on directing and producing TV shows like the "A-Team," and "Airwolf." He returned to acting in Ridley Scott's 2000 epic "Gladiator" and most recently appeared in "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen."
Born Nov. 18, 1941 in Guildford, England, Hemmings was a notable boy soprano and was featured in English Opera Group performances of the works of Benjamin Britten.
After his voice changed, Hemmings studied painting at the Epsom School of Art where he staged his first exhibition at 15.
He returned to singing in his early 20s with nightclub appearances before moving onto the stage and gradually into films.
His early British movie roles usually saw him cast as misunderstood youths and belligerent "Teddy Boys," leading to his role in Michelangelo Antonioni's "Blow Up," which won Cannes' Golden Palm award in 1967.
Hemmings played a fashion photographer, reportedly based on David Bailey, who believes he may have unwittingly photographed a dead man. Scenes in which he photographed a model, played by Vanessa Redgrave, have often been ranked among the sexiest moments captured on screen.
His boyish good looks were also put to use in the science-fiction romp "Barbarella" and the film version of the stage musical "Camelot."
With 1972's "Running Scared," Hemmings began a new career as a director of several movie and TV productions in England, Australia and Canada.
The two careers ran in parallel for several years with his directing credits including the movie "Just a Gigolo," but by the 1980s his TV directing took precedence with shows such as "Magnum PI," "Airwolf," "The A-Team" and "Quantum Leap."
"People thought I was dead. But I wasn't. I was just directing The A-Team," he once remarked.
Hemmings returned to acting in 2002 with the role of Cassius in the Oscar-winning "Gladiator." Other recent roles include parts in "Gangs of New York," "Spy Game" and "Mean Machine."
Hemmings is survived by his fourth wife, Lucy Williams, and their two children. He also has three sons and one daughter from three earlier marriages, according to his entry in "Who's Who."
David Hemmings
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The San Diego Zoo's 3-month-old giant panda cub is offered a panda biscuit by animal care keeper, Dallas Ripsky, Wednesday, Dec. 3, 2003, during an examination at the SBC Giant Panda Research Station. The cub didn't take the treat because he has yet to fully develop all of his teeth. Veterinarians say it will be a few more weeks before the 14-pound unnamed male cub will have all his teeth. In the meantime, the cub will continue to nurse from his mom, Bai Yun.
Photo by Ken Bohn
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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Welcome !
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Thank you
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