'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Top Ten List
Letterman
Top Ten Messages Left on the Answering Machine of the Cubs Fan Who Tried To Catch the Foul Ball in Game Six
10. "You owe me $7.50 for the beer I threw at you"
9. "'I'm with Century 21 -- heard you might be moving"
8. "Hey, I just got back in the country -- how was the game?"
7. "'Don't worry, I'm sure we'll get another shot at the World Series in 2098"
6. "This is Pete Rose. You cost me 50 G's, jackass!"
5. "Hey, it's Don Zimmer. Thanks for taking the heat off me"
4. "Hi, this is Mike from Hasbro. I'm calling to verify some information for your Trivial Pursuit question"
3. "Have you heard about Northfield Medical's great prices on cosmetic surgery?"
2. "Hey, it's Bill Buckner. Wanna hang out?"
1. "Rush Limbaugh here. Gimme a buzz ifyou need something to take the edge off"
Thanks, Alex!
Reader Suggestion
Re: CNNNN
Don't know if this old news. Wanted to be sure you saw it.
www.abc.net.au/broadband - (link has dial up options)
Lots of stuff -- scroll down to "Bush in Oz" for their report on Bush's visit. Don't miss "Priceless" or the 2002 archive, either. I laughed till I cried.
http://www.abc.net.au/cnnnn/video
~ Dooley
Thanks, Dooley!
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
Reader Comment
AMC and Ted Turner???
I'm just sitting here wondering, though, as a victim of the Bush economy, I haven't been able to afford cable for about four months (I moved).
Why on earth does AMC play "The Two Jakes" all the time, I mean, every time the cat shits I see that movie is listed as being played.
God, you'd think that Ted Turner's "The Beastmaster" fetish during the mid-Ninties would have made some stations take note. Hell, it's almost cliche!
I used to love AMC especially in October, What Happened?
I was thinking about getting a satellite dish until the crap that has been played lately.
Keep up the good work,
C___y
Thanks, C___y!
Heh - not that many years ago it seemed all cable channels had a major affection for C.H.U.D.
I love my DISH™ - it costs less, has fewer outages, and is far more responsive than the local cable monopoly.
AMC was one of the reasons we got cable in first place, but the local cable monopoly was over-priced, under-staffed, incompetent, had a crappy record of just plain staying on the air, and on the rare occasion they actually answered the phone, they were surly & rude. So, we opted for DISH™, and haven't regretted it since.
Then AMC started cutting films, adding commercials, and pissing me off.
TCM (Turner Classic Movies) is part of DISH™'s basic package, and their films are uncut, intact & without commercials - that's why I devote so much space to
their schedule.
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
While not as hot as yesterday, it's still on the unpleasant side, and for added value, the air is getting chunky, too.
Did the grocery shopping at a non-strike involved store, then hit the farmer's market.
3 years ago, we had 8 major grocery chains. Thanks to 'consolidation', now there are only 3.
Never had to check the expiration dates on anything when my local grocery store was a 'Lucky's', but now that it's an Albertson's, it's more than just a good idea.
Tonight, Friday, CBS opens the night with a FRESH 'Joan Of Arcadia', followed by a FRESH 'JAG', then a
FRESH 'The Handler'.
On a RERUN Dave are Stupid Human Tricks, Lisa Kudrow, and R.E.M. (FRESH next week)
On a RERUN Craiggers are Robert Duvall, Kim Cattrall, and Seal. (FRESH next week)
NBC starts the night with 'Dateline', followed by a FRESH (but wretched) 'Miss Match', then a FRESH 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
On a RERUN Jay are Katie Couric, Al Franken, and Cirque du Soleil. (FRESH next week)
On a RERUN Conan are Allison Janney, Ron Livingston, and Hot Hot Heat. (FRESH next week)
On a RERUN Carson Daly are Anthony Anderson, Fuel, Molly Sims, Will Hoge, Kevin Brennan, and Miss America Ericka Dunlap. (FRESH next week)
ABC begins the evening with a FRESH 'George Lopez', followed by a FRESH 'Married To The Kellys', then a FRESH
'Hope & Faith', followed by a FRESH 'Bonnie', then '20/20'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Jessica Biel, Coach Jim McMullan, and Rylee Newton, with this week's guest co-host Anthony Anderson.
The WB offers 'Scooby-Doo Halloween', followed by 'Bugs bunny's Halloween', then 'Outrageous Halloween Outtakes'.
Faux has a FRESH 'Wanda', followed by a FRESH 'Luis', then a FRESH
UPN has the movie 'Double Trouble'.
Check local PBS listings for the best show on over-the-air-tv, 'NOW With Bill Moyers'.
A&E has 'American Justice', 'Poirot: Death In The Clouds', and 'Meet The Royals'.
AMC offers the movie 'The Bounty', followed by the movie 'The Good, The Bad & The Ugly', then the movie 'Cape Fear' (the Robert Mitchum version - the 'good' one).
BBC -
[6pm] 'BBC World News';
[6:30pm] 'Cash in the Attic' - Davies;
[7pm] 'Ground Force' - Peterborough;
[7:30pm] 'Changing Rooms' - Merseryside;
[8pm] 'At Home With the Braithwaites' - Episode 2;
[9pm] 'The Office' - Episode 2;
[9:40pm] '3 Non-Blondes' - Episode 1;
[10:20pm] 'Manchild' - Episode 6;
[11pm] 'So Graham Norton' - Natasha McElhone;
[11:30pm] 'So Graham Norton' - Blondie;
[12am] 'The Office' - Episode 2;
[12:40am] '3 Non-Blondes' - Episode 1;
[1:20am] 'Manchild' - Episode 6;
[2am] 'At Home With the Braithwaites' - Episode 2;
[3am] 'So Graham Norton' - Natasha McElhone;
[3:30am] 'So Graham Norton' - Blondie;
[4am] 'The Office' - Episode 2;
[4:40am] '3 Non-Blondes' - Episode 1;
[5:20am] 'Manchild' - Episode 6 and
[6am] 'BBC World News'. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has the movie 'Risky Business', followed by the movie 'Good Will Hunting'.
HBO has 'Carnivale', and 'K Street'.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Dead Men's Secrets', 'Heavy Metal', and more 'Modern Marvels'.
SciFi has 'Stargate SG-1', followed by 'Stargate SG-1', and then 'The New Roswell: Kecksberg Exposed'.
TCM -
[6:15am] 'Tarzan, The Ape Man' (1932);
[8am] 'The Thin Man' (1934);
[10am] 'Goodbye Mr. Chips' (1939);
[12pm] 'Babes in Arms' (1939);
[2pm] 'The Shop Around The Corner' (1940);
[4pm] 'Pride And Prejudice' (1940);
[6pm] 'The Harvey Girls' (1946);
[8pm] 'Portrait of Jennie' (1948);
[9:30pm] 'The Haunting' (1963);
[11:30pm] 'The Canterville Ghost' (1944);
[1:30am] 'MGM Parade Show #19' (1955);
[2am] 'Vampyr - Der Traum des Allan Grey' (1932) and
[3:30am] 'Flower Drum Song' (1961). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Saturday - 10/25
TCM pays tribute to Burt Lancaster - once in the morning, and then all night.
[6am] 'I Take This Woman' (1940);
[8am] 'While The City Sleeps' (1956);
[10am] 'The Unforgiven' (1960);
[12:15pm] 'Jason And The Argonauts' (1963) [a Ray Harryhausen classic];
[2pm] 'National Velvet' (1944);
[4:15pm] 'Bell, Book and Candle' (1959);
[6pm] 'Spellbound' (1945);
[8pm] 'From Here To Eternity' (1953);
[10pm] 'Criss Cross' (1949);
[12am] 'From Here To Eternity' (1953);
[2am] 'Lawman' (1971) and
[4am] 'Brute Force' (1947). (ALL TIMES EDT)
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
MADtv cast members surround executive producers David Salzman and Dick Blascucci in celebration of their 200th episode at a party at The Falls on Sunset Blvd. Wednesday night Oct. 22, 2003, in Hollywood section of Los Angeles. Top row from left; Ike Barinholtz, Rod Pederson, Stephnie Weir, Michael McDonald. Center row from left; Josh Meyers, executive producer David Salzman, Paul Vogt, executive producer Dick Blascucci, Mo Collins, Aries Spears. Bottom row from left; Frank Caliendo and Bobby Lee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
'Joan of Arcadia' Music
Bruce & Patti
E Street Band guitarist/singer Patti Scialfa and her husband Bruce Springsteen have recorded a new version of her song "Love's Glory" for Friday's episode of the CBS drama "Joan of Arcadia."
The song originally appeared on Scialfa's sole solo album, 1993's "Rumble Doll" (Columbia), and was re-tracked in the couple's home studio with her singing and Springsteen playing guitar.
A high school friend of show executive producer Jim Hayman, Scialfa offered a song for the freshman drama, which has featured music prominently in its first few episodes. A new version of Joan Osborne's 1996 hit "One of Us" serves as the theme, while songs by White Stripes, Warren Zevon, Rhett Miller and Nick Drake have also been heard.
Bruce & Patti
Surprised By Reaction to New Song
Mellencamps
John Mellencamp said he and his wife, model Elaine Irwin-Mellencamp, were surprised by the negative reaction to a song on his new album that questions the war in Iraq.
Since the song was released as a single as the war with Iraq was beginning in March, the couple has taken heat for its political content, which includes an apparent critique of resident Bush.
The Mellencamps said they had questions about U.S. policy in Iraq and on other issues, and they were surprised by the negative reaction to the song, which is included on the album, "Trouble No More."
"I don't understand why people think it's not OK to question the government, I really don't," said Irwin-Mellencamp.
Mellencamps
Full Text Of The 'Open Letter' By John & Elaine Mellencamp
Wins Achievement Award
Ron Howard
Director Ron Howard was among those receiving an outstanding achievement award at the seventh annual Hollywood Film Festival's "Hollywood Awards" ceremony.
Howard won the award for outstanding achievement in directing.
Other winners included Anthony Hopkins and Goldie Hawn, honored with achievement in acting awards, and producer Sydney Pollack, who received the outstanding achievement in producing award.
Scarlett Johansson, star of "Lost in Translation," and Orlando Bloom, whose films include the "Lord of the Rings" movies and "Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl," received breakthrough acting awards.
Ron Howard
hollywoodawards.com
The San Francisco skyline is seen through the Golden Gate Bridge on a foggy morning Thursday, Oct. 23, 2003, in San Francisco.
Photo by Marcio Jose Sanchez
Gets Star on Walk of Fame
Peter Fonda
Peter Fonda has lived up to another of his famous father's honors: a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Fonda, who's promoting the DVD release of his 1971 directorial debut "The Hired Hand," accepted the star Wednesday and paid tribute to his place in an acting dynasty.
He's the son of Henry Fonda, who died in 1982, and the brother of Jane Fonda — both Oscar winners. His daughter is actress Bridget Fonda and his son is Justin Fonda, a cameraman on films such as "Vertical Limit" and "The Last Ride."
Fonda got much of his early training in TV in the 1960s in series including "Wagon Train" and "The Alfred Hitchcock Hour."
Peter Fonda
Breast Molds in Auction
Sharon Osbourne
Sharon Osbourne is putting a little bit of herself into the fight against breast cancer. Hand-painted molds of Osbourne's breasts were being auctioned online to benefit the Boarding for Breast Cancer Foundation, or B4BC, a nonprofit group co-founded by professional snowboarder Tina Basich.
The molds were displayed during Tuesday's taping of the syndicated talk show "The Sharon Osbourne Show" and caught guest Anthony Anderson's eye.
"I gotta have those at home," said Anderson, star of the WB sitcom "All About the Andersons." "I want to make the first opening bid at $5,000. ... So match that! Somebody match that!"
Sharon Osbourne
www.sharonosbourne.com
Studios Partly Reverse Ban
Oscar Screeners
Hollywood studios partially reversed their ban Thursday on special video copies for awards groups, capitulating to widespread criticism that the move would make it harder for smaller films to win Oscars.
The new agreement will allow "screener" copies to be sent to the approximately 5,600 Academy Awards voters, but not the far larger pool that hands out lesser honors.
That means groups that present the Golden Globes, Screen Actors Guild Awards, critics prizes and other movie honors will have to see films at theaters or at screenings arranged by studios. Oscar voters, meanwhile, can watch movies at home on copies sent by the films' distributors.
Only VHS copies will be distributed. There will be no screener DVDs, which can be copied much easier and at near-original quality.
Oscar Screeners
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
To Debut Ash Wednesday
Gibson's 'Passion'
Mel Gibson's passion-stirring Biblical epic "The Passion of Christ" will open in the United States on Feb. 25 — Ash Wednesday on the Roman Catholic calendar.
Gibson spent a reported $30 million to produce the movie, which he has defended as faithful to the Gospels. In response to worries by Jewish groups, he has said the film is intended "to inspire, not offend."
In 1965, the Second Vatican Council of the Roman Catholic Church formally rejected Jewish culpability in Christ's death. But Gibson belongs to an ultraconservative Catholic movement that rejects the reforms of the Second Vatican Council and the legitimacy of the current Vatican leadership.
Gibson's 'Passion'
A 3-foot-tall torso of Aphrodite is displayed at the Onassis Cultural Center in New York Monday, Oct. 20, 2003. The artifact is part of the exhibit, 'From Ishtar to Aphrodite: 3,200 years of Cypriot Hellenism.' The alluring marble sculpture from the first century B.C is being exhibited for the first time outside her mythical birthplace. 'Aphrodite Anadyomene,' or Aphrodite emerging from the sea, literally came out of the Mediterranean.
Photo by Kathy Willens
To Receive ELLA Award
Celine Dion
Grammy-winning singer Celine Dion will be presented with the Society of Singers' 13th annual ELLA Award.
The entertainer, who has a long-standing contract to perform at Caesars Palace hotel-casino, will receive the award during a June 2004 ceremony in Beverly Hills, Calif., Society of Singers President and chief executive officer Jerry F. Sharell said Wednesday.
The award, named after its first recipient, Ella Fitzgerald, goes to singers whose contributions to the music world are equaled by their dedication to humanitarian causes and community support.
Celine Dion
www.singers.org
www.celinedion.com
Given Second Chance at Oscars
Palestinian Film
A year after being kept out of the Oscar spotlight due to its Palestinian origin, the acclaimed Mideast romance "Divine Intervention" is getting a second chance at Academy Award contention.
The film's U.S. Distributor, Avatar Films, said the producers of "Divine Intervention" declined to submit the film last year after being told by Academy executive director Bruce Davis that the movie would fail to qualify because Palestine was not recognized as a country.
The film's omission sparked an outcry from Arab-American groups, some of whom suggested the Academy was bowing to what they saw as heavily pro-Israeli sentiments in Hollywood.
The way for the film's entry this year was cleared when the Academy's foreign-language award executive committee exempted movies made in the West Bank and Gaza Strip from rules requiring a candidate's land of origin to be an independent country, Oscars spokesman John Pavlik said.
Academy officials have acknowledged that the film's nationality would have been an obstacle to qualifying the film for consideration had the movie been submitted last year.
Palestinian Film
Reschedules European Tour
Ozzy Osbourne
Ozzy Osbourne has rescheduled his European tour. The trek will now take place in January and February of 2004. The dates were originally planned for this fall, but had to be scrapped when it was revealed that Osbourne was undergoing treatment for a worsening tremor. A specialist at Tufts University in Boston has put Osbourne on medication which causes dry mouth, thus affecting his ability to sing.
Osbourne told MTV.com last Friday (October 17), that the treatment has brought the tremor under control. He also categorically denied that he was afflicted with Parkinson's Disease.
Meanwhile, Osbourne's wife and manager, Sharon Osbourne, will host the annual M.A.P. Awards on November 5 at the Beverly Hills Hotel in Los Angeles. The event is a benefit for the Musicians Assistance Program, which helps musicians get help for drug and alcohol addiction regardless of their financial situation. This year's event will honor Aerosmith frontman Steven Tyler, blues guitarist Jimmie Vaughan, and music industry attorney John Branca.
Ozzy Osbourne
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
ABC Pulls Plug on Plans
'Reality' TV Awards
Veteran Emmys producer Don Mischer, chosen by ABC to produce its inaugural show honoring the best of non-scripted television, has sent a letter to industry peers saying the project has been scrubbed due to a lack of cooperation among ABC's network rivals.
A spokeswoman for ABC, a unit Walt Disney Co. , confirmed on Thursday that the awards show was canceled.
The two-hour special was to have been taped on Nov. 23, but no air date was ever set.
'Reality' TV Awards
A letter by Britain's Queen Elizabeth I expressing her outrage at the imprisonment of Mary Queen of Scots, at a pre-sale photocall in London, Thursday Oct. 23, 2003, the letter is estimated to fetch 60,000-90,000 pounds, US$ 93,600-140,400 when it is auctioned as part of the Harry and Brigitte Spiro collection of English Historical Documents sale on Dec. 3, 2003.
Online Piracy An Inside Job
77% of Movies
Pirating movies for distribution on the Internet is mostly an inside job.
That is the conclusion reached by a team of researchers from AT&T Labs in a new study that found that 77% of all popular movies being illegally traded over the Internet initially came from people who worked inside the movie industry.
The report found numerous weak links where security is lax throughout the production-distribution pipeline. In particular, it cited such other weak spots as audio and visual editing rooms, outside effects houses and outsourced postproduction.
The research report ends with recommendations for how the entertainment industry could improve the current situation. It recommended specialized players or extensive digital rights management systems, but these remain expensive and are not yet practical.
77% of Movies
Buh-Bye
The Brotherhood of Poland, N.H.
Acclaimed producer David E. Kelley, once a darling of prime-time dramas, is now 0-for-2 on his latest creations.
One year after the flop of his heavily promoted Fox drama "Girls Club," Kelley's newest series, "The Brotherhood of Poland, N.H.," has fallen victim to the ratings wars on CBS.
CBS said on Wednesday it was placing "Brotherhood" on indefinite "hiatus," pulling the show off the air at least through next month to make way for several specials during the November ratings "sweep." The Viacom Inc.-owned network left open the possibility the drama could return later.
But Kelley announced to the cast and crew later in the day he was shutting down production of the show altogether, a spokeswoman for his company said.
CBS said it would replace "Brotherhood" for the time being with a series of specials, including a "48 Hours Investigates" interview with celebrity murder suspect Robert Blake, the Country Music Awards, and a "Victoria's Secret Fashion Show."
The Brotherhood of Poland, N.H.
Hollywood Bookkeeping
Accountant Sues
A former Warner Bros. employee has sued the film studio claiming he was wrongly fired from his job overseeing certain accounting functions because he uncovered problems with profit participation in "The Exorcist" and 140 other movies.
In July this year, Warner Bros. settled a lawsuit with "Exorcist" director William Friedkin and producer William Peter Blatty, who claimed the studio had deprived them of their fair share of the profits by understating the film's revenue.
In his lawsuit filed on Wednesday in Los Angeles County Superior Court, Ruben Mellado claims he was fired after he discovered errors were made in the accounting for "The Exorcist," and that Warner Bros. executives knew about the problems as far back as 1999 and failed to correct them, according to the court filing.
Accountant Sues
Another Job Opening At ESPN
Gregg Easterbook
ESPN dismissed Gregg Easterbrook last week as a freelance contributor to its Web site, where he wrote a column called "Tuesday Morning Quarterback." In a statement, the company said Easterbrook had "recently published comments elsewhere that were highly offensive and intolerable."
In the column, Easterbrook was critical of "Kill Bill" and its director Quentin Tarantino, saying they glorified violence. He criticized the studio that released the film, Miramax, and its parent company Walt Disney Co., saying it was "wallowing in gore" for profit.
He noted that Disney and Miramax are both run by Jewish executives, Michael Eisner and Harvey Weinstein, respectively.
"Yes, there are plenty of Christian and other Hollywood executives who worship money above all else, promoting for profit the adulation of violence," Easterbrook wrote in the column. "Does that make it right for Jewish executives to worship money above all else, by promoting for profit the adulation of violence?"
Gregg Easterbook
New Name In Canada
Buick LaCrosse
General Motors will rename its Buick LaCrosse in Canada because the name for the car is slang for masturbation in Quebec, embarrassed officials with the U.S. automaker say.
GM officials, who declined to be named, said on Thursday it had been unaware that LaCrosse was a term for self-gratification among teenagers in French-speaking Quebec.
The mix-up is reminiscent of another GM vehicle with an unfortunate name. In the 1970s, GM exported its Chevrolet Nova to Mexico and other Spanish-speaking countries, only to be told that Nova translated into "doesn't go". Despite the name, and contrary to popular folklore, the car sold well.
Buick LaCrosse
Ulaq, a polar bear, gnaws at a pumpkin that keepers gave him for a Halloween treat at the Cincinnati Zoo, Thursday, Oct. 23, 2003, in Cincinnati.
Photo by Tom Uhlman
'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 5
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 4
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
