'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Indecent Material
Fox News
Not photoshopped - also links to video clips.
Satire Link
'The People Must Know'
Today, when Saddam Hussein was to hear charges against him, Donald Rumsfeld announced that the U.S. is appointing Saddam to lead the Iraqi Governing Council (IGC). "I know returning a murderous torturer to power sounds preposterous," said Rumsfeld, "but, we just want what's best for the Iraqi people.
"With over 16,000 civilians dead by U.S. weapons, we may be killing good people faster than Saddam did, and this is the quickest way to get the slaughtering of innocents back down to pre-war levels," clarified the Secretary of Defense. He continued, "The electricity is sporadic, there's sewage in the streets, unemployment is 70%, and no one is safe. I hate to say this about a bloody, ruthless tyrant, but Saddam did a better job than us and with a lot less money. Our only real contribution is that before the war it was impossible to get a lap dance over there."
Reader Link
Bush Oversight Committee
Weapons of Mass Destruction Found...
In case you haven't heard weapons of mass destruction have officially been found as of today
For the full story go to www.bootbush04.com
July 6, 2004
Hollywood
from Mark
Another Bumpersticker
Reader Humor
Artificial Intelligence
A lady bought a new Lexus. Cost a bundle. Two days later, she brought it back,complaining that the radio was not working.
"Madam," said the sales manager, "the audio system in this car is completely automatic. All you need to do is tell it what you want to listen to, and you will hear exactly that!"
She drove out, somewhat amazed and a little confused. She looked at the radio and said, "Nelson." The radio responded, "Ricky or Willie?" She was astounded. If she wanted Beethoven, that's what she got. If she wanted Nat King Cole, she got it.
She was stopped at a traffic light enjoying "On The Road Again" when the light turned green and she pulled out. Suddenly an enormous sports utility vehicle coming from the street she was crossing sped toward her, obviously not paying attentionto the light. She swerved and narrowly missed a collision.
"Idiot!" she yelled and, from the radio, "Ladies and gentlemen, the President of the United States."
Thanks, Bruce!
Reader Comment
Apology
Marty:
I hereby apologize for suggesting that Sec.of Education Rod Paige perform an anatomical impossibility upon himself.
Using the same language as our Vice President is unconscionable.
Now I feel better.
EdD
Thanks, Ed!
Rod Paige is a real cheney-wad.
Reader Offer
New Group
If you could ask any question...
I've created a new Yahoo Group where you can post
questions you'd like to ask the Administration:
Of course, we know what the chances are that they'll
get answered, but it's a way to let someone know
you're thinking of them.
Reader Contribution
The F Word
"Power concedes nothing without a demand. It never did and it never will. Find out just what people will submit to, and you have found the exact amount of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them; and these will continue until they have resisted with either words or blows or with both. The limits of tyrants are prescribed by the endurance of those whom they oppress." - Frederick Douglass, 1857
When we think of the "F word" we think of the language recently used by Vice President Dick Cheney. Cheney wouldn't stand for a member of the United States Senate, Vermont Democrat Patrick Leahy, having the nerve to request hearings on allegations of war profiteering by corporations such Halliburton. Full of the righteous indignation legitimized by one party rule, Cheney confronted Leahy and took him to task for doing his duty as a Senator. When the Senator forgot his place and persisted in his questioning, Cheney replied, "Go f_ _k yourself."
Cheney's response sums up the Bush administration's mission statement in a nutshell. You are either with us or against us. Don't talk back, don't ask questions. Shut up and do as you are told, even if you are a United States Senator. Cheney's vulgarity was far worse than the utterance of a four letter word and should end the denial about the true nature of the Bush administration. Americans must now fight against the most insidious "F word" of all, fascism. If the analogy seems off base, a prominent jurist who personally experienced European fascism in the 1930s made connections between that system and our current dismal political situation.
For the rest of a great read, The F Word
Thanks, Der T!
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
JD is on vacation. Lucky bastid.
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Even though it's July, the lovely 'June Gloom' is hanging on.
Ken Jennings won again on 'Jeopardy' - $737,760 so far.
Katie Davis, kneeling left, Shawn Landis, center, and James Bowerman, standing, struggle against the wind to keep an inflated head of the Statue of Liberty upright on Kite Hill Thursday, July 1, 2004, at Gas Works Park in Seattle. The inflation of the head is a part of Seattle's Independence Day celebrations.
Photo by Tetona Dunlap
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
Singing, Not Playing July 4
Willie Nelson
Country star Willie Nelson said Thursday he'll sing but won't be able to play guitar at his annual Fourth of July picnic because of a slow recovery from carpal tunnel surgery.
Nelson, 71, said he has unusual soreness and swelling in his left hand six weeks after the wrist surgery aimed at relieving the painful nerve condition.
Nelson said he'll still appear at a Saturday event in Roswell, N.M., for friend Merle Haggard and at the picnic in Fort Worth on Sunday, but won't make any other appearances in July.
Willie Nelson
Peculiar Priorities
NBC's 'Today' Show
NBC's "Today" show was embarrassed Thursday when it aired Katie Couric batting a badminton shuttlecock while its rivals showed the first footage of Saddam Hussein's court appearance.
The first footage of Iraq's former leader since his capture by the U.S. seven months ago came into newsrooms shortly after 8:30 a.m. EDT. ABC's "Good Morning America," CBS' "The Early Show" and the cable news networks all showed the pictures immediately.
NBC stuck with feature stories on a Robert Redford movie and badminton, showing Saddam at the 9 a.m. newscast that opens the third hour of "Today."
NBC's 'Today' Show
The name of Strom Thurmond's biracial daughter is shown added to his unfinished monument on the S.C. Statehouse grounds in Columbia Thursday, July 1, 2004.. Essie Mae is listed on its own line, under the names of the late senator's four other children. Essie Mae Washington Williams knew Thurmond was her father for decades but kept silent until after his death out of respect for the former senator's career.
Photo by Lou Krasky)
Raising AIDS Awareness
Ashley Judd
Ashley Judd will visit Cambodia next week to raise AIDS awareness and to launch new health products and services, a U.N. program said Thursday.
The star of "Double Jeopardy" and "Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood" also will visit Thailand and attend this month's international AIDS conference in Bangkok, according to YouthAIDS, run by the nonprofit Population Services International.
Her visits will include trips to clinics and schools to speak with children about the threat of catching HIV. She'll tour the Cambodian capital of Phnom Penh and Siem Reap, home to the famed Angkor Wat temples, during her stay.
Ashley Judd
'Corsage' Inaugurates Vault Release Series
Frank Zappa
The doors to Frank Zappa's vault will be blown wide open via a new series of archival releases under the moniker "Joe's Corsage," a nod both to Zappa's 1979 album "Joe's Garage" and Zappa archivist Joe Travers.
A disc bearing that title is now available via the iconoclastic late artist's official Web site and his estate's Vaulternative label, comprising demos and live recordings from the earliest stages of his band the Mothers Of Invention.
"Around Mother's Day, it was the 40th anniversary of the day Frank named the group," his widow, Gail Zappa, told Billboard.com. "That was May 10, 1964. It became the other Mother's Day. We thought, 'what can we do?' Then Joe said, 'Hey, listen to this!' It turned into 'Joe's Corsage,' because it's just a little thing only he knew about that he wouldn't normally bring to our attention. This will be the first in a series of piquant little items from the vault that only Joe knows about. There's so many other choices of things Frank set aside for one reason or another. It would otherwise be a long time before we otherwise be a long time before we got to them."
Frank Zappa
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Memorabilia Fetches $36,000
Stan Laurel
An auction of Stan Laurel memorabilia took in more than $36,000 Thursday from fans of the famous comedian.
The photographs and other items were put on sale by the British-born Laurel's nephew, Huntley Jefferson Woods, 81, who lives in northeastern England.
The total take of $36,800 quadrupled the auction house's pre-sale estimate of $9,000.
Stan Laurel
Not Liable for Concert Injury
Limp Bizkit
Limp Bizkit and lead singer Fred Durst aren't liable for the injuries a fan suffered at a 2000 concert, an appeals court ruled.
The fan, a paramedic, was kicked in the head after Durst invited concertgoers to come down to the main floor, the Michigan Court of Appeals said.
In a unanimous decision released Wednesday, the appellate court said Durst did not act irresponsibly by inviting concertgoers to come down to the main floor during a performance at The Palace of Auburn Hills.
Limp Bizkit
A coffin shaped as a fish and created by African artist Kane Kwei is on display at a department store in Berlin July 1, 2004. The coffin is part of an exhibition of coffins that casts an unusual light on the last rites.
Photo by Tobias Schwarz
The 'New' Jack Valenti
Dan Glickman
Hollywood cast former Agriculture Secretary Dan Glickman as its new leading man in Washington on Thursday, ending years of speculation about who would replace 82-year-old Jack Valenti as the movie industry's top lobbyist.
At a press conference in Washington's opulent Hay-Adams Hotel, Valenti introduced the former Kansas congressman and Clinton administration Cabinet member as his successor at the helm of the Motion Picture Association of America.
As the public face of the movie industry, Glickman, 59, will seek to stem the unchecked Internet file swapping that threatens to cut into movie sales.
Dan Glickman
Auction Goes Awry
Tony Bennett
Tony Bennett is demanding that the organizers of a recent concert refund $15,000 to a man who bid that amount in a charity auction, expecting to eat dinner with the singer, Bennett's manager said Wednesday.
Gary Pusateri placed the winning bid on a package that said it included "dinner with Tony Bennett" after the concert last weekend, which raised money for ALS research at Johns Hopkins Hospital.
Instead, Pusateri and more than 100 others got to shake Bennett's hand in the same restaurant. And when it came time to eat, the retired computer analyst from Washington ate on the second floor, while the singer dined with his guests on the first floor.
Tony Bennett
Harsh Words for Black Community
Bill Cosby
Bill Cosby went off on another tirade against the black community Thursday, telling a room full of activists that black children are running around not knowing how to read or write and "going nowhere."
Cosby made headlines in May when he upbraided some poor blacks for their grammar and accused them of squandering opportunities the civil rights movement gave them. He shot back Thursday, saying his detractors were trying in vain to hide the black community's "dirty laundry."
Bill Cosby
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Pushing Medical Marijuana
Montel Williams
Fresh off the set of the upcoming reality series "American Candidate," TV host Montel Williams was pushing a more personal cause Thursday at the U.S. Capitol: medical marijuana.
The erstwhile host of the "Montel Williams Show" beseeched young congressional staffers and interns to pester their bosses to make marijuana more widely available to chronic pain sufferers.
"Go back and start looking it up yourself and understand why it is your bosses are voting against something that will do nothing but help people," pleaded Williams, who has taken marijuana to ease pain since being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis in 1999.
Montel Williams
The first group of people walk on the new Sundial Bridge in Redding, Calif., on Monday, June 28, 2004. The 700-foot-long, 23-foot-wide footbridge was designed by world-famous architect, engineer and artist Santiago Calatrava, who also designed the Olympic Sports Complex for the Athens 2004 Summer Games.
Photo by Michael Burke
Republican Ethics
Jim Kenefick
Armed with a Moore sound bite in which the Oscar-winning gadfly says he doesn't "have a problem with people downloading" his movies, Jim Kenefick is doing as the man says--and encouraging Netizens to download the filmmaker's latest incendiary device, Fahrenheit 9/11.
"Clearly, we have an agenda," Kenefick, who co-runs the anti-Moore site, Moorewatch.com, said Thursday. "We want people to watch it. Let's face it: I don't mind being a bee in his bonnet."
On Sunday, an off-site link to a bootlegged copy of Moore's hit documentary went up on Moorewatch.com, which is "dedicated to unearthing the truth behind the doublespeak and falsehood that spews from the mouth...of Michael Moore on a regular basis."
Four server-crashing days later, the link is still there (if you can get to the page--it's found under a June 27 posted titled "Steal This Movie"). Moore's distributor is still fuming, and Kenefick is still unbowed.
Ironically, the anti-piracy warriors at the Motion Picture Association of America can be counted out in the fight over Fahrenheit.
MPAA spokesman Matthew Grossman said Thursday that since Lions Gate, which recently battled the organization's ratings board over Moore's documentary, isn't a member of the movie-lobbying group, the MPAA doesn't have the authority to go after bootleggers of its films.
Jim Kenefick
Explains DWI Defense
Glen Campbell
Glen Campbell is defending himself against his drunken driving charge, claiming he "wasn't really that drunk," but was "just over-served."
Campbell also said he didn't remember anything because he was "in a blackout mode." Excerpts of the interview were released Tuesday.
"When I saw the mug shot, I said, `Who is that guy?'" the 68-year-old singer said. "Everybody says it's the devil, but it isn't, it's God's way of telling you to slow down."
Glen Campbell
Statue in PA Still on Hold
Gene Kelly
Organizers of a project to memorialize Pittsburgh's native son Gene Kelly haven't had much to sing about in more than a year.
A plan to put up a statue of the choreographer, director and actor most beloved for the film "Singin' in the Rain" has been on hold since late 2002. And Kelly's widow has yet to give the necessary approval.
The Gene Kelly Statue Project hasn't heard from Patricia Ward Kelly, who lives in Los Angeles, in more than a year, said Aviva Radbord, co-founder of the project.
Gene Kelly
Role in Crime-Solving Explored
Insects
"The first witness to a death is usually a fly," says Mike Sarna, director of exhibitions at the Peggy Notebaert Nature Museum. "Their sense of smell is so acute that they've been known to fly two miles to get to a fresh corpse."
The Chicago museum has turned a focus on flies, maggots, carrion beetles and other corpse-eaters for its new exhibition, "CSI: Crime Scene Insects," which runs through Sept. 12.
for a lot more, Insects
A Chinese tourist jumps to beat one of China's biggest drums in Xian, Shaanxi Province, July 1, 2004. The drum named 'Wentian Gu', measures 3.43 meters in diameter and weighs1,800 kg.
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Concert Tours
Top 20
The Top 20 Concert Tours ranks artists by average box office gross per city and includes the average ticket price for shows in North America. The previous week's ranking is in parentheses. The list is based on data provided to the trade publication Pollstar by concert promoters and venue managers.
1. (2) Prince; $1,106,759; $61.75.
2. (1) Eagles; $1,070,592; $110.64.
3. (3) Shania Twain; $887,216; $65.03.
4. (5) Beyonce; $813,884; $70.07.
5. (4) Metallica; $813,757; $56.38.
6. (New) Eric Clapton; $799,700; $72.14.
7. (6) Britney Spears $779,998; $62.83.
8. (7) Fleetwood Mac; $685,209; $68.21.
9. (8) Kenny Chesney; $629,707; $48.01.
10. (9) Aerosmith; $609,804; $58.88.
11. (10) Alan Jackson / Martina McBride; $600,753; $54.82.
12. (11) David Bowie; $351,857; $55.25.
13. (12) Kelly Clarkson / Clay Aiken; $337,589; $45.45.
14. (14) Yanni; $301,565; $54.76.
15. (13) Kid Rock; $284,638; $34.04.
16. (15) Yes; $273,721; $51.28.
17. (16) Josh Groban; $262,475; $58.85.
18. (17) Blink-182; $231,485; $28.65.
19. (New) Alejandro Sanz; $230,121; $59.76.
20. (18) Mary J. Blige; $225,781; $52.41.
Top 20
Basic Cable Networks
Rankings
Rankings for the top 15 programs on basic cable networks as compiled by Nielsen Media Research for the week of June 21-27. Each ratings point represents 1,084,000 households. Day and start time (EDT) are in parentheses.
1. "WWE Raw Zone" (Monday, 10 p.m.), Spike, 3.6, 3.88 million homes.
2. Movie: "Salem's Lot, Part 2" (Monday, 8 p.m.), TNT, 3.4, 3.66 million homes.
3. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 9 p.m.), Spike, 3.2, 3.46 million homes.
4. "Monk" (Friday, 10 p.m.), USA, 3.1, 3.39 million homes.
5. "Law & Order" (Tuesday, 9 p.m.), TNT, 2.9, 3.13 million homes.
6. "Nip/Tuck" (Tuesday, 10 p.m.), FX, 2.8, 3.02 million homes.
7. "Fairly Odd Parents" (Sunday, 10 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.7, 2.88 million homes.
8. "Fairly Odd Parents" (Saturday, 10 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.6, 2.86 million homes.
9. "Real World XIV" (Tuesday, 10 p.m.), MTV, 2.6, 2.83 million homes.
10. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Monday, 1:30 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.6, 2.83 million homes.
11. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 9:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.6, 2.82 million homes.
12. "Fairly Odd Parents" (Sunday, 10:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.6, 2.79 million homes.
13. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Monday, 2 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.5, 2.74 million homes.
14. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Monday, 3 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.4, 2.65 million homes.
15. "Law & Order" (Wednesday, 8 p.m.), TNT, 2.4, 2.65 million homes.
Rankings
Mother bats roost with their young in the 'maternity ward' under a bridge near Omaha, Ga., on Wednesday, June 30, 2004. The bridge was scheduled to be demolished in June, but the Georgia DOT and the demolition contractor agreed to wait until the newborn bats learn to fly. That way the entire colony of about 200 bats can find a new home. During the maternity season, the females and males live separately.
Photo by Jim Ozier
'The Osbournes'
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