'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Cool Link
from Alex
Marty,
This site is great: toostupidtobepresident.com
Check out one of their lists:
Top 11 White House April Fool's Day pranks
11. "Wake up, George! You have that unscripted press conference in an
hour."
10. Halliburton has been barred from bidding on any contracts to
rebuild Iraq (only funny if you have a defibrillator handy).
9. "Hey, look! It's a pro-war rally and Clear Channel had nothing to
do with it!"
8. Fox News' Geraldo Rivera giving away the position of the unit in
which he was embedded (time difference).
7. "Nobel Peace Prize committee on line one, Mr. President."
6. "Seriously, 35 ago to the day that Lyndon Johnson announced that
he would not seek re-election."
5. "It's really not about oil, Laura."
4. "The President just discovered a bag full of computer keyboard
pieces in Karl Rove's desk. He thought they were the "W" keys that
departing Clinton staffers supposedly removed, but half of them are
the letter "M".
3. "Turn on the TV! Some guy from Fox News is really grilling Ari."
2. "Someone just came forward who remembers Dubya showing up during
the last 17 months of his National Guard service."
And the number one April Fool's Day prank in the White House:
1. Weapons of mass destruction found in Iraq!
~ Alex
Thanks, Alex!
Reader Reading Suggestion
from Mad Dog
This article appeared in the latest edition of International Musician, the magazine of the AFM, my (musician's) union: The Funk Brothers
Ben and I had the good fortune to have played behind Joe Hunter a couple of times. I've also met Pistol Allen on a number of occasions.
I am so glad that these guys are finally getting the recognition they deserve.
The story of the making of 'Standing in the Shadows of Motown' is as interesting as the movie itself.
~~ Mad Dog
Thanks, Mad Dog!
from both Tim H & Steve B
Re: Homeland Security
To: Dept. of Homeland Security
Dear Sirs:
I am writing to you for further instructions to what the next step is for me to take in protecting my family from possible attacks by terrorists.
I have my duck taped....now what?
~ Tim H
- Steve B
Thanks, Tim & Steve!
(They both sent a version)
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Cooler, breezy, but sunny day. The kind of day that looked to be t-shirt, but was really sweat shirt, weather.
The farmer's market had the prettiest asparagus of the season, and great strawberries, too.
So, I'm watching Dave, and his 'Top Ten' was delivered from Elmendorf AFB, outside of Anchorage - and since I worked at KTVA, channel 11, CBS for Alaska, I got to wondering if they had been involved, but,
my reverie was interrupted by a commercial, and I went to Leno, where Dennis Miller was attempting humor. He said he felt sorry for the 2 Dixie Chicks that 'flanked the little Gollum chick', and then, with his bad plugs & too-capped teeth,
went on to mock Peter Arnett's comb-over. At least Peter's hair is his own & his teeth don't look like Chiclets.
Oh, and unlike Dennis, Peter Arnett has a steady paycheck - his services are in demand.
Tonight, Friday, CBS is supposed to offer a FRESH 'Star Search', followed by a FRESH 'Hack', and
then '48 Hours'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Dave are Hilary Swank and Jimmie Walker.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Tom Green, Master P and the 504 Boyz.
NBC is supposed to have a FRESH 'Search For the Mot Talented Kid In America', and then
a FRESH 'Ed', followed by a FRESH 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay is Michael J. Fox.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are Vin Diesel, Shannen Doherty, and Leo Allen.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Chris Rock, DJ Qualls, and Chevelle.
ABC is supposed to show a FRESH 'America's Funniest Home Videos', followed by a
RERUN '8 Simple Rules', and then a FRESH 'Regular Joe', followed by
'20/20'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jimmy Kimmel are Foo Fighters and this week's guest co-host Mike Tyson.
The WB offers a FRESH 'What I Like About You', followed by a FRESH
'Greetings From Tucson', and then a RERUN 'Reba', followed by a RERUN 'Grounded For Life'.
Faux has a FRESH 'Fastlane', and a FRESH 'John Doe'.
UPN here is dumped for Rupperts Doggers to visit the Padres, down in Sandy Eggo.
Check local PBS listings for 'NOW With Bill Moyers', the single best show on 'free tv'.
And, on HBO, it's 'Real Time With Bill Maher' - panel guests will include Arianna Huffington and Michael Graham.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Useful Link
from an Opera Nut
Thanks, Sharon!
Useful Link - California Only
Hate Telemarketers?
FYI
Beginning in October, those annoying calls must stop in California! If they don't the caller will have to pay a $11K fine.
To register to have your name taken off the lists for FIVE YEARS click on:
California 'Don't Call' Registry
- Oceanside Larry
Thanks, Lar!
Big Dog Watch Continues
Bill Clinton
Former President Bill Clinton speaks at the University of Florida, Thursday, April 3, 2003, in Gainesville, Fla.
Photo by Phil Sandlin
Wedding News
Liv Tyler & Royston Langdon
Liv Tyler, the daughter of Aerosmith front man Steven Tyler, married Royston Langdon, lead singer of the band Spacehog, in a private ceremony at a villa in the Caribbean on March 25, her publicist said Wednesday.
It's the first marriage for both the 25-year-old actress and 30-year-old musician. They plan a small reception for family and friends next month in New York, where the couple live, publicist Stephen Huvane said.
Liv Tyler & Royston Langdon
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
N.Y. Library Acquires Archive
Terry Southern
The New York Public Library has acquired the archive of author Terry Southern, whose screenplays for "Dr. Strangelove" and "Easy Rider" captured the rebellious 1960s in America.
Southern taught screenwriting at New York University and Columbia University from the late 1980s until his death in 1995 at age 71.
The archive was acquired from the Terry Southern Literary Trust through a gift from film director Steven Soderbergh.
Southern's son, Nile Southern, a co-trustee of the literary trust, said the collection would "connect the dots and bridge the gaps between the Beats and the Beatles."
The archive includes correspondence and other items from literary and cultural figures such as George Plimpton, Allen Ginsberg, Norman Mailer, Frank O'Hara, Gore Vidal, Abbie Hoffman and Edmund Wilson; and rock stars John Lennon, Ringo Starr and The Rolling Stones.
It also contains materials relating to the screenplay of 1964's "Dr. Strangelove: or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb," a collaboration between Southern and director Stanley Kubrick, and the original screenplay of 1969's "Easy Rider," which Southern wrote with the film's stars, Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper.
Southern's books include "Flash and Filigree," "Candy" and "The Magic Christian."
Terry Southern
New York Public Library Web site
A newborn Meerkat drinks milk from a baby bottle held by caretaker Adrian Sestelo at the Buenos Aires Zoo, Argentina Thursday, April 3, 2003. Meerkats, originating from South Africa are in danger of extinction.
Photo by Natacha Pisarenko
Mary-Kate & Ashley
Olsen Twins
The teenage Olsen twins - who first became famous with their childhood roles on the sitcom "Full House" - plan to announce today that they have signed a deal with Columbia Records.
The dynamic duo will reissue 10 CDs of music produced when they were kids over the next year, according to a spokesman for the twins' company, Dualstar Entertainment Group.
Mary-Kate and Ashley, 16 and not yet out of high school, already lay claim to a $1 billion fashion and accessories empire distributed through Wal-Mart. The products include sunglasses, watches, purses, umbrellas and health and beauty products.
Olsen Twins
British Poet Laureate
Andrew Motion
Britain's poet laureate published an anti-war poem Thursday titled "Regime Change," in which death moves through Iraq, destroying historic sites.
The 22-line poem by Andrew Motion is largely cast as a speech by death.
In it, death refers to sites such as Nineveh and the Tigris and Euphrates rivers, and says:
"Now listen here
You see the names of places round about
They are mine now and I have turned them inside out."
The poem concludes at Baghdad with death saying:
"These places, and the ancient things you know,
you won't know soon. I'm working on it now."
In an interview with British Broadcasting Corp. radio, Motion said that although he opposes the U.S.-led strike on Iraq, "I do nothing but wish well to the troops themselves."
Andrew Motion
Sues Lloyds of London
Gore Vidal
Author Gore Vidal has sued Lloyds of London and four other insurance agencies for refusing to pay him after water damaged or destroyed first editions of his books worth $60,000.
Vidal's lawyer, Baret Fink, said the writer's works were largely ruined in 1997 after a water heater burst in his Hollywood Hills home, flooding the basement and a locked closet where they were kept.
The house had been rented to a third party at the time and, because the author of "Myra Breckinridge" was out of the country for five years and didn't report the loss until 2002, the insurance companies have refused to pay, Fink said.
"The closet was locked and no-one had a key to it except Mr. Vidal," Fink said. "It didn't occur to anybody what was in there so the closet sat there locked until 2002."
Gore Vidal
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Tip O' The Day
from JES
Marty
Got this from Salon Premium this evening.
"Whoa, little cowboy. Seems Pearl Jam lead singer Eddie Vedder angered even some of his most loyal fans when he impaled a mask of George Bush on a microphone stand and slammed it on the stage while singing "Bushleaguer" at a show in Denver. Said one fan: "It was like he decapitated someone in a primal ritual and stuck their head on a stick ... It kinda blows away the Dixie Chicks."
Thanks, JES! The story is below.
Media Poised To 'Dixie Chick'
Pearl Jam
Dozens of fans walked out of a Pearl Jam concert after lead singer Eddie Vedder took a mask of President Bush and impaled it on a microphone stand.
Several concertgoers booed and shouted Tuesday night for Vedder to shut up as he told the crowd he was against the war and Bush. He impaled the mask during the encore of the band's opening show of a U.S. tour.
Vedder used a Bush mask in Australia and Japan to perform the song "Bushleaguer," from the band's latest album, "Riot Act." The song's lyrics say, "He's not a leader, he's a Texas leaguer."
During the show, Vedder said: "Just to clarify... we support the troops."
"We're just confused on how wanting to bring them back safely all of a sudden becomes non-support," he said. "We love them. They're not the ones who make the foreign policy .... Let's hope for the best and speak our opinions."
Pearl Jam
Read the actual quotes. This story is very carefully written to cast aspersions on honest comments. 'Dozens' - well, that implies more than 24, less than 30. 'Several' - that's 'more than a couple'.
Poor Natalie Maines stated that she was embarrassed by being from the same state - well, hell, she was right. Pickles is Midland born & bred - but, her husband was born in Connecticut & schooled in New England. (Yeah, there're lots of Yankee-Texans). ; )
A combination photograph shows fashionable masks worn by people in Hong Kong to protect themselves against the Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS). Residents of Hong Kong, always quick to spot a fashion trend, are turning to colorful surgical masks to beat the blues as a deadly virus stalks the territory.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hosting 'The New Tom Green Talk Show' On MTV
Tom Green
Tom Green is going home again - to host another talk show on MTV.
Green, who shot to fame hosting "The Tom Green Show" on MTV back in 1999, will now host "The New Tom Green Talk Show," scheduled to debut June 16. The show will air at midnight.
Green will be joined again by his sidekick, Glenn Humplik - but the new show will be different than Green's last go-round.
"The idea is much more along the models of Tom's inspirations - Jack Paar, Johnny Carson, David Letterman, this will be more of a late-night talk show," said John Miller, MTV's executive VP of series and animation.
"The show will have field pieces, but there will be a lot of celebrity guests, antics in the studio and live commercials.
"Tom has been through a lot personally and his humor is a little drier, wittier and less on the goofy side," Miller said. "He's still irreverent and funny as hell, but much more self-effacing and reflective."
Tom Green
Leaves Nashville Hospital
Johnny Cash
Johnny Cash was released from a Nashville hospital this week after being treated for pneumonia, a hospital spokeswoman said.
The 71-year-old singer was admitted to Baptist Hospital on March 10. He was released Tuesday night, said spokeswoman Jennifer Jackson.
Cash, whose hits include "I Walk the Line" and "A Boy Named Sue," suffers from autonomic neuropathy, a disease of the nervous system that makes him susceptible to pneumonia. He was diagnosed with the disease about 15 months ago.
Johnny Cash
Johnny Cash Web site
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Police Recover Stolen Painting
Salvador Dali
Spanish police said they had recovered a painting by surrealist Salvador Dali on Thursday that was stolen four years ago.
"The Motionless Swallow," valued at $323,600, was found in an antique shop in Madrid that had acquired the painting "in good faith" from a Barcelona art dealer, police said in a statement.
The work and a number of antiques had been stolen from a private home in Girona province in the northeastern region of Catalonia, not far from Dali's home town of Figueres.
One of the suspects attempted to auction the work in London on June 25 last year through Sotheby's auction house, police said.
Salvador Dali
Auckland University of Technolgy researchers Dr Steve O'Shea and Cat Bolstad, right, are seen with a Colossal Squid at the Te Papa research laboratory in Wellington, Wednesday April 2, 2003. The squid, which was found by fistermen in the Ross Sea, Antarctic, last week, is thought to be the largest intact specimen to have been found. The 150-Kilogram (330 pound) 5-meter (16 foot) immature female 'Mesonychoteuthis hamiltoni' squid has eyes as big as dinner plates and razor-sharp hooks on the tentacles.
Photo by Mark Mitchell
Demands National Enquirer Retraction
Rosie O'Donnell
Comedian Rosie O'Donnell demanded a retraction on Thursday from the National Enquirer newspaper, which printed a story that claims she and her live-in partner, Kelli Carpenter were on the verge of splitting up, O'Donnell's attorney said.
The story, published in the April 15 edition, detailed a series of bitter fights between the couple and said Carpenter, 35, recently walked out with their 4-month-old daughter, Vivi.
The tabloid reported that Carpenter, a former marketing executive at Nickelodeon, spent the night in hotels on two separate occasions after she and O'Donnell, 41, "battled over minor domestic issues" such as Carpenter's failure to remove spoiled milk from the refrigerator.
"It's all a pack of lies and the National Enquirer was told it was a pack of lies," said Los Angeles attorney Bert Fields, who represents O'Donnell.
O'Donnell, an actress and former talk show host once dubbed the "Queen of Nice," was described in a November magazine article as having "Exorcist qualities" when she was crossed, and of being prone to angry outbursts.
The Vanity Fair article, which quoted O'Donnell's former employees at her "Rosie" magazine, said she often screamed at employees who "walked on eggshells" around her.
Rosie O'Donnell
Together 77 Years, Finally Marry
Wedding News
Zyness O'Haver and Sallie Warren decided to make it official and get married. Why not, after living together 77 years?
O'Haver, 95, and Warren, 94, were married Wednesday in a ceremony at the Oklahoma County courthouse. Three of the couple's four grandchildren were on hand to witness.
After the repeating of the vows and exchange of rings — enlivened once when Warren prematurely answered the judge with "I sure do!" and a few times when she gave O'Haver quick kisses — the judge pronounced them "man and wife, woman and husband."
O'Haver is a retired plumber and construction contractor. His bride has used O'Haver's name for many years. They apparently began living as a couple in 1925 and had one son, the late Louis Gene O'Haver.
Their marriage was Zyness O'Haver's idea, family members said.
"He's a fun guy," grandson Louis G. "Garrett" O'Haver Jr., of Norco, Calif., said shortly before the wedding, "and he used to say as a joke, 'Someday I'm gonna make an honest woman out of her.' "
Wedding News
Suggested Reading
''Bush's Voice of America''
by Wayne Barrett
excerpt:
"Clear Channel Communications, the Texas-based media colossus that's fomenting pro-war rallies and submarining airplay for anti-war artists, has quietly become a brash and hungry player in New York politics. With the likes of GOP power broker Al D'Amato and Democratic consultant Hank Sheinkopf on the tab, the $8 billion conglomerate is chasing city deals, from a new concert hall on Randalls Island to a franchise on all sidewalk advertising.
And...
"Leapfrogging from 43 stations to 1,220 since the passage of the deregulating Telecommunications Act of 1996, Clear Channel hired the congressional aide who drafted the act, and is represented by the former law firm of the head of the Justice Department's antitrust division. Clear Channel's vice chair, Tom Hicks, made George W. Bush a multimillionaire by buying the Texas Rangers from him, and chaired a state university board that steered most of its endowment to firms with Bush and GOP ties.
The Village Voice: CityState: Bush's Voice of America by Wayne Barrett
''Gao,'' a newborn Grevy's zebra born March 26, 2003, at the San Diego Zoo's Wild Animal Park in San Diego runs around its enclosure Thursday, April 3, 2003. 'Gao,' which means 'handful' in Swahili, appears to be living up to his name and is keeping his mother busy.
Photo courtesy Zoological Society of San Diego
'The Osbournes'
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