'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Reader Quetion
'Is Shania Human?'
Do read this essay from a major essayist (Mark Morford) at the San Francisco Chronicle. Fact is that Shania may be lovely but she sure is blah! To find her sexy takes a major leap of the imagination or a very 'hard up' libido.
'Is Shania Human?'
~~ stich01
Interesting premise, stich. Any comments?
'All I Wanna Do Is Get Saddam'
from Bill
All I Wanna Do Is Get Saddam
(Sung to the tune of "All I Wanna Do" by Sheryl Crow)
(As sung by pResident Dubya Bush to Attorney General John Ashcroft)
(Spoken:)
John, pour the Crisco,
And bless this country's safekeeper; this is my way...
----------------------------------
All I wanna do is rub out that Saddam, and I will try.
And Iran's next, if my war goes nowhere.
No evidence of weapons? I'm pRez, I say we'll kill 'em.
We'll ensure our fill of oil from Iraq, good buddy.
Since greed's plain ugly to see, we won't blunder if we're clever.
Saddam's on the run for his dear life.
And I'm thinking 'bout High Noon at mid-day,
Very far, in places where our Great Unwashed
Don't know those people in the world.
They get drunk at bars, on small tax breaks;
Dozing while I rubbed out Afghanistan.
Oh, what a hoot!
Don't deprive them of alcoholic fluids,
Or they might keep company with foes of our coup.
Hell, they're nothing like Johnny and me.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
And when Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really
hard.
(brief instrumental break)
I like to stoke fear, 'cause alerts in the morning
Really helps to steal the headlines from my scandals of old.
I dread them; keep 'em far; those who fight me, you should catch.
John, just go on attack; let civil rights burn.
Drown out those protestors, and start throwing and cursing them
out.
Keep watching; nip it in the bud, as we spin for my new war.
Make it snappy, because I want my war.
Scandals haunt me, close to one another.
Cannon fodder used up? Then I want lads...
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
And when Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really
hard.
(instrumental break)
Improvise this war of ours; the way we will fight.
Because we'll smash through the batches of old Scuds,
We will burn and we will char;
Be done very soon, 'cause
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
His oil we're stealing, soon as my war is won.
All I wanna do... is get Saddam.
And when Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really
hard.
When Saddam gives up, it'll prove oil wars aren't really hard.
(instrumental ending)
Midi Link
For more - THE BOOT NEWT SING ALONG PAGE
or
Blogspot Boot Newt
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Have decided to put the fans back in the windows - was in the 80's today, supposed to get warmer over the weekend. 2 Winters ago it was very cold, and thanks to the change in political climate, saw the gas heating bill go from $93 to over $400, the first month. It doubled during February, and can remember being grateful
it wasn't a leap year.
Don't know what happened this week, but the hits have been better than double the usual. Thanks.
The kid's best pal's birthday is Saturday, so we're off to find an appropriate gift tomorrow. And buy more Play-doh, of course.
Tonight, Friday, CBS is supposed to open the evening with the FRESH, but recently canceled, 'Presidio Med', followed by a FRESH
'Hack', which is followed by a FRESH, but recently canceled, 'Queens Supreme'.
On a RERUN Dave (from 12/19/02), are Tom Hanks and Phish.
Scheduled on a FRESH Craiggers are Ali Larter and Mudvayne.
NBC has a FRESH 'Mr. Sterling', then 'Dateline', and finally, a FRESH 'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESH Jay are Oprah Winfrey, Raphael Saadiq, and Scott Foley.
Scheduled on a FRESH Conan are LL Cool J and Neil Finn.
Scheduled on a FRESH Carson Daly are Ali Larter, Michael Rosenbaum, Godfrey, and Ours.
ABC has a FRESH 2-hour verion 'America's Funniest Home Videos', followed by '20/20', where Jason Priestley talks about cars.
The WB has a FRESH 'What I Like About You', a FRESH 'Sabrina', a FRESH 'Reba', and a
FRESH 'Greetings From Tucson'.
Faux has a FRESH 'Fastlane' and a FRESH 'John Doe'.
UPN has the movie 'The Cell'.
Check local PBS listings for 'NOW With Bill Moyers'!
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Newest Star On The Hollywood Walk of Fame
Tippi Hedren
"The Birds" star Tippi Hedren had something to crow about Thursday when she was honored with a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Hedren, 72, was a top New York fashion model in the early 1960s when she appeared in a diet drink commercial that filmmaker Alfred Hitchcock saw on the "Today" show.
He cast her in the lead role of his 1963 thriller "The Birds" in which she flees a small California town terrorized by berserk flocks of crows and gulls.
She followed with another Hitchcock thriller, co-starring with Sean Connery in "Marnie" as a beautiful con artist.
She had a role opposite her daughter, Melanie Griffith, in the 1990 thriller "Pacific Heights."
Hedren continues to act but has devoted much of her time in recent years to caring for exotic animals at the Shambala Preserve, a high desert refuge in Acton that houses two elephants and more than 60 lions, tigers, leopards and other big cats.
Tippi Hedren
The Information One-Stop
Moose & Squirrel
chunkylover53@aol.com
Homer Simpson
Earlier this month, fans of the show began sending email to Homer at an on-line address - chunkylover53@aol.com - shown during the Jan. 12 epsiode.
In the episode, a private-eye hired by Homer to keep tabs on his daughter emailed him at that address.
After the episode, thousands of fans began sending e-mail to the address as a joke, but were surprised when Homer answered them.
Well, sort of.
It's actually "Simpsons" writer/producer, Matt Selman, who registered the e-mail address before the episode aired.
"He logged in the night that the episode aired and it was immediately filled with the maximum number of responses," "Simpsons" executive producer Al Jean said yesterday.
"He's tried to answer every one of them and then as soon as he answers a hundred, a hundred more pop in - it's like Sisyphus."
Homer Simpson
Auction At Christie's
Biggest Art Sale Ever
Auction house Christie's will next week stage what it believes will be the biggest art sale ever to take place in London.
In all, 120 pictures will be on the block, conservatively worth a total of around 50 million pounds ($82 million).
Centerpiece of the sale, which will be divided into impressionist and modern, German and surreal sections, will be Pablo Picasso's Femme dans un fauteuil (woman in an armchair) priced at up to six million pounds.
It is among seven pictures in the sale by the Spanish master.
Vying for attention at the February 3 sale are a group of more classical impressionist pictures led by Pierre-Auguste Renoir's Canotiers a Argenteuil (canoeists at Argenteuil) priced at up to 3.5 million pounds.
Also represented are works by Cezanne, Degas, Dufy, van Gogh, Monet, Manet, Klee and Vlaminck.
Immediately following the impressionist and modern sale will be a rare auction of surrealist art headed by Rene Magritte's Les Barricades Mysterieuses (mysterious barricades) priced at up to 2.2 million pounds.
Alongside the nine works by the Belgian master are others by Dali, Miro and Ernst.
Biggest Art Sale Ever
Put in Wrong Category
Meryl Streep
A studio mistake left Meryl Streep competing against herself for the Screen Actors Guild awards, possibly costing her one if not two nominations.
A Sony spokesman said a studio employee incorrectly submitted Streep's name in the lead-actress category for "Adaptation," in which she plays author Susan Orlean. The studio considers it a supporting-actress role
and has been pushing Streep in that category for other film awards.
The mistake may have split Streep's votes between "Adaptation" and her other contending role for "The Hours," which Paramount also had submitted in the lead-actress category.
Streep was not nominated for either part when guild nominations came out Tuesday. For the Golden Globes, Streep won the supporting-actress prize for "Adaptation" and was nominated as lead actress for "The Hours,"
along with co-star Nicole Kidman, who won the lead-actress award.
For Academy Awards nominations that come out Feb. 11, Streep is considered a strong contender for a best-actress nomination for "The Hours" and a supporting-actress nomination for "Adaptation."
A similar error by Universal for the 2002 awards resulted in Jennifer Connelly's nomination in the guild's lead-actress category, rather than supporting actress, for "A Beautiful Mind." Connelly lost out
on the guild award but won the supporting-actress Oscar.
The year before that, Benicio Del Toro won the lead-actor honor from the guild for "Traffic," then received the supporting-actor prize at the Oscars.
Meryl Streep
Cancels Poetry Symposium
White House
The White House said Wednesday it postponed a poetry symposium because of concerns that the event would be politicized. Some poets had said they wanted to protest military action against Iraq.
The symposium on the poetry of Emily Dickinson, Langston Hughes and Walt Whitman was scheduled for Feb. 12. No future date has been announced.
Mrs. Bush, a former librarian who has made teaching and early childhood development her signature issues, has held a series of White House symposiums to salute America's authors. The gatherings are usually lively affairs with discussions of literature and its societal impact.
But the poetry symposium soon inspired a nationwide protest.
Sam Hamill, a poet and founder of the highly regarded Copper Canyon Press, declined the invitation and e-mailed friends asking for anti-war poems or statements. He encouraged those who planned to attend to bring along anti-war poems.
Hamill said he's gotten more than 1,500 contributions, including ones from poets W.S. Merwin, Adrienne Rich and Lawrence Ferlinghetti.
"I'm putting in 18-hour days. I'm 60 and I'm tired, but it's pretty wonderful," says Hamill, based in Port Townsend, Wash., and author of such works as "Destination Zero" and "Gratitude."
Marilyn Nelson, Connecticut's poet laureate, said Wednesday that she had accepted the White House invitation and had planned to wear a silk scarf with peace signs that she commissioned.
White House
Thanks, Alex!
Underwent Surgery for 'T3' Injury
Arnold Schwarzenegger
Action star Arnold Schwarzenegger was released on Thursday from a Santa Monica hospital where he underwent surgery to repair a shoulder injury suffered while performing a stunt on the set of his upcoming film "Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines."
The 55-year-old actor tore the rotator cuff in his left shoulder last fall but put off surgery at the time to avoid holding up production on the film, according to a statement from his publicist.
Although he will have to keep his shoulder immobilized in a tight sling for the next three to four weeks, he plans to go ahead with previously scheduled appearances, including a multi-state tour of his Inner-City Games Foundation next week.
Arnold Schwarzenegger
ABC & NBC
Dueling Michael Jackson Specials
Weeks after NBC announced plans for a special "Dateline" edition on singer Michael Jackson's famously altered face, ABC said on Thursday it will air a Jackson documentary from a British journalist who was with the Gloved
One when he held his infant son outside an open hotel window in Berlin.
ABC's documentary, "Living with Michael Jackson," will be telecast Feb. 7 as a two-hour edition of news magazine "20/20," four days after it airs in Britain. Its showing would upstage NBC by 10 days.
NBC has scheduled its "Dateline" special, titled "Michael Jackson Unmasked," for Feb. 17, but network sources said executives at the General Electric Co. -owned broadcaster were thinking about moving up their broadcast.
ABC reportedly paid between $4 million and $5 million for U.S. broadcast rights to the "Living with Michael" documentary from British journalist Martin Bashir, outbidding NBC and other competitors in a deal brokered by Granada International.
ABC and NBC, which produced its own special, each stressed the differences between their dueling Jackson events.
The ABC documentary consists of exclusive interviews Bashir conducted with Jackson while spending the past eight months in the performer's company. He includes footage of the reclusive star with his children
and behind-the-scenes glimpses of life at Jackson's Neverland Ranch in California.
While NBC Entertainment President Jeff Zucker initially touted the upcoming "Dateline" edition as a one-hour special "on Michael Jackson's face," network officials have said their piece would be broader
than that, tracing Jackson's life and career as well as the transformation of his looks.
Dueling Michael Jackson Specials
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Tyson Meets Ryan in Locker Room
When Mike Met Meg
Mike Tyson was talking boxing, while Meg Ryan was nearby shooting pictures.
"Why are you taking my picture?" Tyson asked the actress Tuesday while sitting in a dressing room getting his hands wrapped.
Ryan explained that she recently shot a movie about boxing and "I just got into it."
Besides, she said, "Sometimes I take good pictures."
"Hi Mike, I'm Meg," she said by way of introduction.
"I know who you are," he replied.
When Mike Met Meg
A model presents this creation as part of Vide Bula's 2003 Autumn-Winter collection, at Sao Paulo Fashion Week, January 29, 2003. Sao Paulo fashion shows run until February 1.
Photo by Claudio Pedroso
Thanks, Alex!
Called The Cops
Sydney Simpson
O.J. Simpson's explosive temper has boiled over again, this time during a fierce argument with his teenage daughter, who was so shaken, she called 911 sobbing for help.
"You're a loser!" Sydney Simpson, 17, screamed at her famous dad as she bawled uncontrollably while on the phone with cops.
The teen cowered in her bedroom and told the police operator, "My father is an a- -hole . . . I'm the only child that makes him miserable, and he can say that's no problem.
"Isn't that abuse?" she wailed.
Cops responded to a "female in distress" call at the Heisman Trophy winner's house on Southwest 112th Street in Miami around noon Saturday, according to a police report.
Police calmed down the parties, and Sydney, who sometimes stays with her grandparents, "agreed to leave" the house to "defuse the situation," according to the report.
Sydney Simpson
So, cops have the minor leave the house to "diffuse the situation"? WTF?
Too Much Consolidation?
Clear Channel
Clear Channel was roughed up on Capitol Hill Thursday, with several lawmakers accusing the sprawling radio giant of refusing to play the songs of artists who don't use its concert promotion division.
Rep. Howard Berman (D-Calif.), one of those testifying before the Senate Commerce Committee, said he has pressed the Justice Dept. to investigate whether such business practices by a company as large as Clear Channel represent an antitrust violation.
Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) convened the hearing to discuss massive consolidation of the radio business since the 1996 Telecommunications Act.
The most staggering of all has been that of Clear Channel, which has grown from fewer than 100 radio stations to more than 1,200. All told, Clear Channel collects one quarter of all radio ad dollars. In addition to
radio and concert promotion, it has a thriving billboard biz.
Repeatedly during the congressional hearing, Clear Channel chairman-CEO L. Lowry Mays denied the San Antonio-based company engaged in antitrust practices, such as encouraging payola, whereby radio stations are paid by an indie promoter to play certain songs.
But Clear Channel had few defenders besides Sen. Trent Lott (R-Miss.) and National Assn. of Broadcasting president-CEO Eddie Fritts.
The celeb witness testifying at the packed hearing was singer-songwriter Don Henley, who said he knows of artists who were blackballed by Clear Channel stations after refusing to tour with the company's promotion arm.
For the rest, Clear Channel
Baby News
Claudia Schiffer
German supermodel Claudia Schiffer gave birth to a baby boy by Caesarian section on Thursday, her spokeswoman told Reuters.
The baby is the first child for both Schiffer, 32, and her husband, British film producer Matthew Vaughn, who was at her side for the birth.
Her spokeswoman said the baby weighed in at seven lbs but there was no immediate announcement on a name.
Both mother and baby were doing very well and the parents were "thrilled," she said.
The spokeswoman said Schiffer was admitted to the exclusive Portland Hospital in central London on Thursday morning for a planned delivery.
The Portland is a favorite with celebrity mums -- sometimes dubbed the "too posh to push" brigade for choosing Caesarian deliveries.
Claudia Schiffer
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
Treated For Postpartum Depression
Sadie Frost
Sadie Frost, the actress wife of screen star Jude Law, is in a London clinic suffering from severe postnatal depression, the couple's publicist said Thursday.
Frost, 34, was admitted to the 1,000 pound (US$1,600) a night Cromwell Hospital on the weekend, immediately after arriving back in Britain from Los Angeles, where newspaper reports said she had marked her wrists in a "suicide scare."
In a statement released through publicist Simon Halls, Law said his wife was "feeling very blue" after the premature birth of their third child, Rudy, in September.
Law, 30, has returned from Los Angeles to the couple's north London home to look after their three children — Rudy, son Rafferty and daughter Iris — and Frost's son Finlay from her previous marriage to Spandau Ballet's Gary Kemp.
Law, who was nominated for a best supporting actor Oscar for his role in "The Talented Mr. Ripley" in 1999 and was most recently seen in "Road to Perdition," was in Romania filming "Cold Mountain" with Nicole
Kidman when Rudy was born five weeks prematurely in September 2002.
He was on the same shoot in October when 2-year-old Iris was rushed to hospital after swallowing an ecstasy tablet during a children's party in a London club. Iris recovered.
Sadie Frost
Hidden Self-Portrait
Rembrandt
A Rembrandt self-portrait hidden for centuries after it was painted over by another artist went on show in Amsterdam on Thursday following years of art detective work to reveal the 17th century Dutch masterpiece.
The 1634 self-portrait -- concealed for more than 300 years beneath a painting of a Russian aristocrat by an unknown artist -- was displayed for the first time at the Rembrandt museum after years of painstaking restoration, the museum said.
The portrait -- showing a 28-year-old Rembrandt with long hair, mustache and a beret -- was discovered by a team of art specialists led by Rembrandt expert Ernst van de Wetering who examined the mystery canvas in forensic detail in the 1990s.
Despite his wealth of talent Rembrandt was short of money. Experts believe he allowed his art students to paint over the pictures he did not sell. One or more of his pupils is believed to have painted over the recently revealed self-portrait.
The newly unearthed self-portrait will be on display at the Rembrandt House Museum in the Dutch capital until March 16, the museum said.
Rembrandt
Playing At 'Tiger Jam'
Bon Jovi
Now that the NFL season is done, Bon Jovi is turning to golf.
The band will headline Tiger Woods' benefit concert in Las Vegas on April 19, it was announced Wednesday.
The "Tiger Jam" concert raises money for Woods' foundation and children's charities in Las Vegas and Los Angeles.
Also performing with Bon Jovi at the Mandalay Bay Events Center will be the Goo Goo Dolls.
Bon Jovi
Bon Jovi Web site
Ohio Colleges Involved
Olsen Twin Rumor
Ohio colleges were inundated with calls after a fake Web site reported that twin teenage actresses Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen had applied for admission.
"We'd be happy to give them a tour if they want to stop by, and we might even buy them lunch," University of Cincinnati spokesman Greg Hand said Wednesday.
"There's no truth to it. They didn't apply. And Britney Spears isn't coming either," said University of Dayton spokeswoman Teri Rizvi.
Current and prospective students called admissions officers in droves after seeing the fake links Tuesday and Wednesday. The sites since have been removed from the Web.
The hoax is "all over the country," said Michael Pagnotta, a spokesman for the Olsens, who debuted as infants on the ABC sitcom "Full House" in 1987.
Olsen Twin Rumor
Backs Out of Colorado Show
Ray Charles
The Colorado Springs Symphony, in debt and embroiled in a labor dispute, postponed two concerts after musician Ray Charles backed out.
Charles, scheduled to play Friday and Saturday, bowed out because the orchestra would not play. His contract called for a full orchestra backing him, said Larry Barrett, symphony executive director.
The 72-year-old is also a member of the American Federation of Musicians, which has asked union members to boycott the orchestra because of the labor dispute.
The symphony is $1 million in debt and filed for bankruptcy protection in early January after the musicians rejected a pay cut. Symphony officials also filed a motion to dissolve the contract with the musicians.
Musicians formed the Colorado Springs Philharmonic Orchestra as a replacement if the symphony folds. They planned a free concert Sunday at Grace Episcopal Church.
Lawrence Leighton Smith, who resigned as the symphony's conductor Jan. 15, will lead the 85-member orchestra during the concert.
Ray Charles
Lakeview Baptist Church
Pot Found Growing On Roof
A congregant of the Lakeview Baptist Church became suspicious when he saw a pair of legs dangling from the building's roof, and with good reason.
Two potted marijuana plants were being tended to on the church's roof, said Rev. Klay Aspinwall, the pastor who climbed up to the roof and removed the unholy contraband.
"Maybe they thought it was safer to do it in a church because who would expect anyone to be growing marijuana at a church?" Aspinwall said. "Who's going to be looking around, looking for dope?"
Aspinwall turned the plants and some watering and fertilizing equipment over to police last Saturday, one day after the discovery.
Pot Found Growing On Baptist Church Roof
An unidentified woman looks at a donkey stranded by heavy rains on the shores of Lake Titicaca in Puno, in southeastern Peru on Wednesday, Jan. 29, 2003. Two weeks of heavy rains in southeastern Peru have
killed 18 people and destroyed at least 700 houses, officials said Thursday, Jan. 30, 2003. Flooding caused by rains in the Lake Titicaca area has drowned six people, forced 34,000 people from their homes
and destroyed 700 houses, Peru's Civil Defense Institute said in reports posted on its Internet site. More than 10,000 livestock have been killed by the floods.
Photo by Carlos Fernandez
'The Osbournes'
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Critical Date Approaches
Nick's Crusade
