M Is FOR MASHUP - RERUN - July 15th, 2009
Unreleased Mashup Collections-A New Fad?
By DJ Useo
Not all of the mashup producers currently producing are comfortable with the large volume of fine tracks seeing the light of day each night. There is truly a phenomenal amount of competition what with the 'world-wide web' linking us all up into just a few highly-concentrated areas of boot-legdom. Thus, it will assuredly come as a relief to many mixers & possibly even some mashup fans to hear that none of the mashup collections in this article will actually be released. All are merely fictitious creations of my fevered brain, but sometimes I grow weary of the world-as-it-is & enjoy a quick romp in the pure realm of creativity. In this case, you enjoy the benefit.(not like that time with the smiling yellow face, that didn't work out.)
The first mashup collection we take a startled look at is 'WHO PUT THE R IN THAR", a compilation from bootleggers living near Sesame Street. This new record features 16 mixers making tracks that use only artists with an 'R' in their name. To many such a concept would be a constrictive experience, but to Peder I-Podamus & the chaps at the Mixed-It-2wice bootleg forum, it was a labor of love. "Yes,once it was explained to us what the letter 'R' was, we all took to the project like ducks to serving trays", said Peder, through his interpreter, Guy Of Mixbane. Guy continued "I was against the entire idea at first. I'd never been on good terms with that letter. But once I got past my mindless bigotry against letters that come after 'M', I saw the potential.
From the first track by DJ Mem-Brain 'Little Red Revolution' (Prince vs The Beartles) (hmm, that isn't right, is it?) to the
Glitch-rock of MeatMixer's 'R Is A Good Letter To Mash To' (The Trolling Stones vs Justin Trimberlake) (That isn't right!?) I can see this album employs many a mixer who seemingly spells at the same level as a stunned deer in the headlights. You will be glad this sucker never got released.
The second mashup collection comes to us from The Balloon Pauper, the same fellow behind last year's "SONGS FOR EARS FULL OF JAM" album. That's right, the same guy who recorded the masters on grape jelly & then ate them. This new collection Pauper hasn't eaten (yet) & stars quite a few mashers from his native country, Peehorhea. "HII TEE HII TEE HII TEE" is a scathing indictment of the Peehorhean governments' lack of appreciation of their local mashup mixers. Each mixer on this collection sticks to a strict style of western-pellas vs the regional Peehorhean Spalk music. You'll hear the anguish of the contributors in tracks like "Ouch! It Hurts Like Bad Clams" (Britney vs Moolk MMkooob) & "I Am Complaining Through A Mashup" (Tiny Tim vs Burger & The Meisters). If you remember how amusing the past Peehorhean mashups have been, like Gibbler's "Ha Ha Lol And A Half" (Veruca Salt vs Tim Burr), then you will like this album. Me, I'd rather chew the bark off a tree. Among the mixers featured are Pete Pockitt, Nancy Boi, & Nick NoTeaThankYou, so you can sure of little more than that.
Now for a mashup release that will startle your brain, shiver your liver, & gargle your bargle. "ORLY MASHUPS:A Tribute To ORLY OWLS" is the last record you ever thought would appear, perhaps right after "CHENEY REMIXES", or "THE BOOTLEGGERS HONOUR CUSTARD". The story behind this record is a preposterous one, but a tale worth relating, unless you've already moved on to the tv listings. It seems that the peeps at the I'MFULLAMASHUPS mashup forum had a popular off-topic post featuring those bizarre ORLY OWLS that you see all over the net. Not knowing the danger of allowing too many of those smiling feather-bearers to be in close vicinity, they soon became hypnotized by them & were compelled to do an entire album of tracks about the smiling avians. There's tracks by DJ Thankyou, The Mixer From Luxxor, Olly The DJ, Abe Elton, & many more familiar names. Tracks like "Orly Sluts" (2 Live Crew vs Peaches), "I've Got ORLY Spirit, How Bout You?" (The Jefferson Manplane vs The Bitch Boys) & "I Drank With An ORLY" (Rod Stewart vs The Condom Rappers) lurk on this album, so there. Grab yours now before ORLYs are outlawed.
Thanks for indulging me with this completely fictional column. When I started writing my first column it truthfully was called "THIS WEEK IN FICTIONAL BOOTLEGGING", so it was fun for me to return to my roots, as it were. One last bit of untruthfulness now, with a fraudulent mix of the week.
MIX OF THE WEEK- A. Littl IR.Rational has been making fine mixes for many years now. This new mix called "Can't Hear You" is 100 minutes of pure Fudge music with a light sprinkling of sprinklelites. Don't listen if you are on a diet. I hear his next mix will have pecans in it. Yum! (No link provided)
Mashup Tip : Study CPR in case your mashups are extreme!
DJ Useo's Podcast
from Bruce
Anecdotes
Games
• Herbert Ransom was an actor who was a terrible poker player whose face always showed whether he had a good hand or a bad hand. Because Mr. Ransom was so bad, fellow poker player Franklin Pierce Adams once proposed a new rule: “Anyone who looks at Ransom’s face is cheating.”
Gays and Lesbians
• Lesbian comedian Judy Carter knows a lot about homosexuality: 1) She learned that not all stereotypes are true when she met and got to know a big butch lesbian who had both a tough attitude and a pink bedroom, complete with doll collection and lace bedspread. 2) She knows that people discover that they are gay at different ages. For example, she knows Mary Newman, who was a grandmother when she became attracted to another woman. At age 64, she left her husband and moved in with the woman she loved. 3) A homophobe once said to Ms. Carter, “The Bible says, ‘If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman … he must be put to death’ (Leviticus 20:13).” She replied, “It also says in the Bible that ‘he who touches a pig must be put to death,’ and also that ‘he who wears clothing woven of two kinds of materials shall be put to death.’ So if you want to be literal, no more NFL (touching pigskin = death) and no more poly-cotton blends. And it wasn’t us gays who invented polyester!”
• Some homosexuals have been devoted to dance, including Sergey Diaghilev, who organized the Ballets Russes. One day, while watching a rehearsal of George Balanchine’s Apollo, he turned to Mr. Balanchine and said, “How beautiful.” Thinking Mr. Diaghilev was talking about the music, Mr. Balanchine agreed, but Mr. Diaghilev said, “No, no. I mean [Serge] Lifar’s *ss; it is like a rose.”
• A young gay man was so impressed by Bewitched’s Endora (played by the brilliant actress Agnes Moorehead) that when he was surrounded by bullies in a schoolyard he threw a curse on them: “Bat’s wings, cow’s eyes, the moon in eclipse! Make them as effeminate as Quentin Crisp!”
• When comedian Kate Clinton was growing up, her sister sometimes called her “a big fat queer.” When Ms. Clinton grew up, she discovered that she was a lesbian. Nowadays, hoping that history will repeat itself, her sister calls her “a big fat millionaire.”
Good Deeds
• In early 2012 an oarsman on the crew team of Columbia University came out as a gay man to his father, who gave him an ultimatum: change his sexual orientation with the help of a Catholic “reparative therapy” program (and keep receiving college tuition from his father) or else his father would have nothing further to do with him (including giving him college tuition). The oarsman told his coach, an openly gay man, about this situation, and the coach contacted the financial aid office to arrange for an emergency appointment for the oarsman. Columbia gave the oarsman a full work-study financial aid package. The oarsman is no longer an oarsman due to lack of time — work-study does take time — but it is much better than not being able to go to college.
• As a child growing up in Texas, African-American choreographer Alvin Ailey discovered a huge snake living under his family’s house. Everyday, he fed the snake some of his own food. Unfortunately, this happened during hard times for his family when both money and food were difficult to acquire. His mother was not pleased to learn what he was doing with the food that she had worked so hard to provide for him. A good deed that did work out occurred when Alvin was taking lessons in tuba in the fourth grade. His school principal learned that Alvin’s family could not afford to pay for the tuba, so the principal paid for it and gave it to Alvin. (Sometimes, the mnemonic spelling aid “The principal is a pal” is accurate.)
• When Randy Cox of Gladewater, Texas, was diagnosed with cancer in early 2012, his son, Drew Cox, age six, wanted to help. The family had medical insurance, but out-of-pocket expenses would still amount to thousands of dollars, so on 14 April 2012 Drew set up a lemonade stand outside their home to raise money. Drew said about his father, “He is so important to me. We like to play with each other. Lots of times we like to play games.” He charged 25 cents for lemonade, but many customers paid much more than that. One customer even wrote a check for $5,000! People came from far away to buy lemonade. By the end of the day, Drew had raised over $10,000 to help pay his father’s medical bills.
***
© Copyright Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved
***
Boredom is Anti-Life: 250 Anecdotes and Stories — Buy
Boredom is Anti-Life: 250 Anecdotes and Stories — Buy The Paperback
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Presenting
Michael Egan
has returned to semi-retired status.
In memory.
BRUCE'S RECOMMENDATION
BANDCAMP MUSIC
BRUCE'S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC
Music: "Hold On"
Album: A RAINY DAY IN CROYDON
Artist: AJ Mclovely
Record Company: Aldora Britain Records
Record Company Location: Rothley, UK
Info:
“Aldora Britain Records is an e-zine and record label that promotes the music and work of authentic independent or underground artists from all around the world. Originally established in 2013, they revamped themselves in 2018 with a brand-new approach. Their first weekly compilation, aptly titled THE SECOND COMING, was released in late 2019. They now also release original singles, EPs and charity projects.”
Price: £2.60 (GBP) for 25 tracks by various artists
Genre: Singer-Songwriter
Links:
A RAINY DAY IN CROYDON
AJ Mclovely on YouTube
Aldora Britain Records on Bandcamp
Aldora Britain Records on YouTube
Caretaker Studios on YouTube
Other Links:
Bruce’s Music Recommendations: FREE pdfs
David Bruce's Amazon Author Page
David Bruce's Smashwords Page
David Bruce's Blog #1
David Bruce's Blog #2
David Bruce's Blog #3
David Bruce's Apple iBookstore
David Bruce has over 140 Kindle books on Amazon.com.
Reader Suggestion
Michelle in AZ
Stephen Suggests
Why?
New Venture
Michael Egan
Part 5
Bruce’s Stories
During a discussion at Ohio University about cheating, OU student Adam C. told a story about a high school student he had known in Indiana. The student had been an exchange student in Japan and knew Japanese well. Adam C. noticed that she had Japanese written on one of her wrists and when he asked her about it, she rolled up her sleeve and showed him that she had Japanese written up to her elbow. Adam C. asked her if she was getting ready to cheat on a test in Japanese, and she replied, “No — biology.”
Ohio University student Kimberlee Eichhorn’s mother knows sign language. She was once asked to sign the Miranda rights (“You have the right to remain silent …”) at the police station to a person who was deaf and mute. By the way, at a store, Kimberlee once was standing in line behind a little boy and a little girl who plopped 20 pennies and a bunch of candy on the counter. The clerk said, “That’ll be $1.20.” The little boy looked at the little girl and said, “I don’t think we have enough.” (Kimberlee gave them the dollar.)
One of my philosophy students saw a slaughtered cow when she was a young child, and as a result she stopped eating meat. Her parents wanted their young daughter to eat animal protein for her health, so they had to convince her to eat meat again. They finally figured out how to do that: they told her that meat grows on trees. (As a young, no-longer-so-naive adult, she became a vegetarian.)
The father of my student Emily Kresiak made a mistake when he proposed to her mother — no, Emily wasn’t born yet. He proposed on April Fool’s Day. He didn’t know it was April Fool’s Day, and he was surprised when she laughed at his proposal. Eventually, he learned that it was April Fool’s Day, and she learned that he was serious, and Emily is very glad that she said yes.
Nathaniel S. grew up in a household in which the alarm clock was turned up very loud and was set to a radio station. One day, the station was playing a drama show about a fire, and when the alarm went off, the house was filled with the shouts of firemen and the sound of crackling flames. His mother ran screaming through the house, grabbing her children and making sure that they got outside to safety. Only after everyone was outside did they discover what had happened.
Lindsey DeStefano and her sister had separate bedrooms when they were growing up, but they always ended up sleeping in just one of the bedrooms. They used to do such things as scare each other. One sister would go out in the hallway while the other would hide. The sister in the hallway would then enter the room and walk around looking for the other sister, who would jump out from her hiding spot and scare her. They went to bed at an early hour, and part of their bedtime ritual was their father reading them a bedtime story and their mother telling them something each day that they had learned or that they could be proud of. They were scared of monsters, but their father invented “monster spray,” which was ordinary water in a spray bottle. He would spray the room and sure enough, no monsters! Once, Lindsey called him back into the room to spray some more because she thought that he had missed a spot.
Rachel Harrison grew up with loving, but mischievous siblings. Her sister was beautiful and popular (so is Rachel), and boys often called her at home. This was before cell phones, and she and the boy would talk on a landline phone that was connected to another phone in the house. Their brother took the other phone, put it on mute, and then went into the bathroom. He then took the phone off mute and flushed the toilet. The boy talking to Rachel’s sister asked, “WHERE ARE YOU?”
Kids Are Not Always Angels — Buy
Kids Are Not Always Angels — Buy The Paperback
Kids Are Not Always Angels — Buy Kindle
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Kids Are Not Always Angels — Buy Barnes and Noble
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David Bruce has over 140 Kindle books on Amazon.com
.
Brad Suggests
Current Events
Hi Marty -
Here's a link to a guide we created covering the urban heat island effect. This might be the last thing on your mind right now, but it's a helpful resource for people who are new to this topic.
Bonus Links
Jeannie the Teed-Off Temp
Reader Comment
Current Events
Linda >^..^<
We are all only temporarily able bodied.
Thanks, Linda!
that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sunny and darn near seasonal.
Longest #1 Hit
Taylor Swift
Taylor Swift’s 10-minute version of “All Too Well” is now the longest Number One hit of all time, replacing Don McLean’s “American Pie” on Monday — a.k.a. the day the music died.
According to Billboard, the extended version of Swift’s greatest song, released earlier this month on Red (Taylor’s Version), assumes Number One at 10 minutes and 13 seconds. “American Pie” held that rank for nearly 50 years since it first landed on the charts in Jan. 1972.
“You guys sent a 10-minute song to Number One for the first time in history,” Swift marveled on Instagram, posting a video of herself mouthing a popular TikTok video of a baby saying, “What the hell.”
Taylor Swift
Nominations
Grammy Awards
Jon Batiste might be the Grammys biggest surprise: The multi-genre performer and recent Oscar winner made such an impression on voters that he scored the most nominations with 11 on Tuesday.
Batiste earned an album of the year nod for “We Are” along with record of the year with “Freedom,” a feel-good ode to the city of New Orleans. His nominations span several genres including R&B, jazz, American roots music, classical and music video.
Justin Bieber, Doja Cat and H.E.R. each came away with the second-most nominations with eight by the time the Recording Academy was done announcing its nominees for its Jan. 31 show. Billie Eilish and Olivia Rodrigo both had seven nods.
Along with Batiste’s surprise domination, another shock was The Weeknd nabbing three nominations after the pop star claimed he would not allow his label to submit his music. Earlier this year, he angrily slammed the Grammys, calling them “corrupt” after he received zero nominations despite 2020’s biggest single, “Blinding Lights.”
Grammy Awards
Prime Time
Ratings
Tucker Carlson reached 5.05 million viewers for his Kyle Rittenhouse interview on Monday, the Fox "News" Channel opinion host’s largest audience since the night of the Jan. 6 riot at the U.S. Capitol.
Fox broadcasting was the top-rated network in prime time last week, averaging 5.4 million viewers. NBC had 4.8 million, CBS had 4.5 million, ABC had 4.1 million, Univision had 1.5 million, Telemundo had 1 million and Ion Television had 880,000.
ABC’s “World News Tonight” won the evening news ratings race with an average of 8.3 million viewers. NBC’s “Nightly News” had 7.2 million and the “CBS Evening News” had 5.4 million.
For the week of Nov. 15-21, the 20 most popular programs in prime time, their networks and viewerships:
1. NFL Football: Pittsburgh at L.A. Chargers, NBC, 14.55 million.
2. NFL Football: New England at Atlanta, Fox, 13.52 million.
3. “The OT,” Fox, 11.6 million.
4. “NFL Pregame,” NBC, 11.2 million.
5. NFL Football: L.A. Rams at San Francisco, ESPN, 10.7 million.
6. “NFL Pregame,” Fox, 8.59 million.
7. “Football Night in America, Part 3,” NBC, 8.54 million.
8. “FBI,” CBS, 7.61 million.
9. “60 Minutes,” CBS, 7.58 million.
10. “Yellowstone,” Paramount, 7.42 million.
11. “20/20,” ABC, 7.41 million.
12. “Young Sheldon,” CBS, 6.95 million.
13. “The Voice” (Tuesday), NBC, 6.78 million.
14. “The Equalizer,” CBS, 6.59 million.
15. “The Voice” (Monday), NBC, 6.56 million.
16. “FBI: International,” CBS, 5.96 million.
17. “Blue Bloods,” CBS, 5.79 million.
18. “Survivor,” CBS, 5.77 million.
19. “FBI: Most Wanted,” CBS, 5.64 million.
20. “NFL Pregame,” ESPN, 5.5 million.
Ratings
Manuscript Auctioned
Albert Einstein
A rare manuscript by Albert Einstein that changed the course of modern science was just sold for over 13.3 million euros (over $15 million), including fees, beating all predictions.
The 54-page, handwritten document outlines calculations that led to his theory of relativity. One of two existing copies went on sale at Christie's auction house in Paris on Tuesday evening. It was expected to fetch $2.4 million to $3.5 million. The manuscript was being sold as part of a judicial sale, and had to be handled by a special judicial commissioner. It was bought over the phone by an anonymous buyer.
The iconic German physicist co-wrote the manuscript with a lifelong friend, the Swiss engineer Michele Besso, in Zurich from June 1913 into early 1914, according to Christie's, which is hosting the sale on behalf of Aguttes auction house.
Although this copy isn't the final draft, the Einstein-Besso manuscript shows the trial and error that went into the calculations. When equations about the relativity of rotational movements proved correct, Einstein excitedly wrote in the margins of one of the pages, "Stimmt!" That's German for, "It works!"
Albert Einstein
Toxic Long Before
Rupert
Stephen Hayes and Jonah Goldberg, center-right pundits and co-founders of The Dispatch, have been getting some good press for quitting their longstanding gigs as talking heads on Fox News. The occasion of their protest is Patriot Purge, a revisionist and conspiracy-laden documentary about the Jan. 6 insurrection spearheaded by primetime Fox host Tucker Carlson. Hayes and Goldberg had hoped the cable news network would moderate its stances now that former President Donald Trump is out of office, but Carlson's decision to blame the FBI for the violence on Capitol Hill last January showed those hopes were misplaced. So, they concluded, resignation was the only acceptable option.
Distancing oneself from Carlson is definitely a good idea. But I'm not sure this move quite makes Hayes and Goldberg into either heroes (as many anti-Trump figures on the center-right and center-left would have it) or villains (as frequent Fox News contributor and Carlson guest Glenn Greenwald implies). That's because the resignations will do nothing at all to change Fox News' politically toxic business model, with which Hayes and Goldberg have been perfectly content to play along over the past decade and a half, participating in Fox's enormous damage to our political culture in the process.
Fox News boosters, inside and outside of the network's offices, like to describe this business model as "respecting the audience." Defenders of Rush Limbaugh's talk radio program used to say much the same about it — that all it was doing was tapping into an underserved audience and taking its concerns seriously. But that account is almost comically one-sided. Just as the capitalist economy doesn't simply give people what they already wanted but actively creates new desires and shapes consumer tastes, so right-wing media doesn't just respect the pre-existing views of its audience. It also actively intensifies and radicalizes those views by flattering the prejudices that underlie them and providing an endless stream of provocations designed to confirm their validity.
That's how the model works: Ratings rise and profits increase by giving viewers more red meat than they knew they wanted — a process that, over time, moves the Overton Window among American conservatives ever further to the right. Fox News is a machine for generating ideological extremism, in other words, and one to which Hayes and Goldberg were quite content to contribute, even for years after its ominous consequences for our politics had become obvious to all.
Better late than never? Absolutely. But never would have been better still.
Rupert
‘No Psychological Damage’
Baltimore
A police officer in Maryland who was convicted of raping a woman after offering her a ride home from a bar and for assaulting another woman has had his prison sentenced suspended.
Baltimore County Circuit Judge Keith Truffer ruled to suspend the majority of police officer Anthony Westerman's 15-year sentence on Friday, arguing that Westerman did not cause his victims "psychological damage."
In October 2017, Westerman assaulted a 22-year-old woman and was convicted in August on two counts of second degree rape and other charges relating to the attack. He was also convicted of the second degree assault of another woman in June 2019.
During the sentencing hearing, the judge suspended all but four years of Westerman's 15-year sentence. Further, the judge will allow the officer to serve his time on home arrest, rather than in a prison, while he appeals his convictions. The judge also only gave Westerman a single day in jail for the assault, which he called "boorish," according to prosecutors.
The Baltimore County State Attorney, Scott Shellenberger told The Baltimore Sun that Westerman would likely spend no time in prison because it takes a long time for the appeals process to conclude.
Baltimore
Flesh-Eatters
Vulture Bees
Some bees have developed a taste for carrion, in a delightfully twisted evolutionary turn. These vulture bees, as they’re known, feature unique gut microbes that help them digest meat.
A team of entomologists, seeking to learn more about these pollen-eschewing bees, recently set up chicken baits in a Costa Rican forest. They ended up collecting a bunch of vulture bees (Trigona necrophaga) and analyzed their guts and genetics in detail.
“These are the only bees in the world that have evolved to use food sources not produced by plants, which is a pretty remarkable change in dietary habits,” said Doug Yanega, an entomologist at University of California, Riverside and a co-author of the recent paper, in a university press release.
While ordinary bees have pockets on their back legs to store pollen as they flit from flower to flower, the vulture bees have repurposed the stores as “little chicken baskets,” according to study co-author Quinn McFrederick, also an entomologist at UC Riverside.
Vulture Bees
The Last Person To Die
Smallpox
The US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) has analyzed several vials labeled "smallpox" that caused a lab in Pennsylvania to be locked down, after their discovery last week. To everyone's relief, and also to their perplexity, the vials were found to contain no trace of smallpox at all.
During the time between discovering vials labeled "smallpox" and discovering it was a false alarm (some kind of prank? A jar that they forgot to fill up with the world's most deadly virus??), people were alarmed, the lab was locked down, and the FBI began investigating. As extreme as this might sound, given the virus's history — right up to the last person killed by the disease — it is far better to be safe than sorry.
Smallpox, to put it lightly, was extremely deadly, with about 30 percent of people infected with the variola virus succumbing to the disease. Thanks to a successful global vaccination program, the World Health Organization (WHO) was able to declare it eradicated in 1979.
The last person to die of smallpox, which killed an estimated 300 million people in the 20th century alone, occurred one year earlier in the summer of 1978.
Janet Parker, a medical photographer, was working at Birmingham Medical School, England, where she used a telephone and shortly afterward began to feel ill. At first, she was diagnosed with flu, then when pocks appeared on her skin she was diagnosed with chickenpox. Nearly a month after she was infected, on August 20, she was taken to hospital with suspected smallpox.
Smallpox
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