Bartcop Entertainment - Tuesday, 3 December, 2002
Tuesday
3 December, 2002
(Updated Daily)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Issue #31
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
"Making Fun of the Future...
One President at a Time"
ISSUE #31
is brought to you by
The Spirit of Friendship
BELIEVE IT OR ELSE
Why the Prophet Muhammad would NOT have married
one of the contestants in the Miss World Contest
None of them are virgins.
He's already married.
He's reincarnated as a Catholic priest and is too busy buggering little boys.
He's too busy working on his lawsuit against the Psychic Hotline.
Jerry Bruckheimer doesn't want him distracted from working on the screenplay of the Koran.
He and Jesus have a "thing."
Ever since his vasectomy, he hasn't been able to get it up.
He's dead.
What Do NBC and CBS Know That the FBI Doesn't?
Perps are fingered by voice recognition software on
Law and Order and
CSI all the time, but American intelligence experts can only tell us that the new Osama bin Laden tape is "probably" genuine. If they're not sure, is it because
the Swiss say the tape is a fake?
Gone But Not Forgotten
The US Government has taken down the site of the TIPS program (but it's saved
here) and CNN has taken down the story of protesters outside CNN headquarters (but it's saved
here).
President Bush's To-Do List For Today
- make sure Colin Powell understands the possible repercussions of the Congolese power-sharing agreement.
- reread Hegel.
- spend down time listening to Wagner's "Ring Cycle."
- test Dick Cheney on his knowledge of Keynesian economic principles.
- solve London Times crossword.
- brush up on my Urdu.
- find out how the parliamentary elections in Kenya this December are shaping up.
- write rebuttal letter to New York Review of Books regarding use of symbolism in Flaubert's writing.
- explain to Gerhard Schroder why Iraq is a threat to international stability (in German).
- discuss the intricacies of advanced calculus with Jenna.
Wanna Bet He Gets Killed in a Plane Crash?
Amram Mitzna, the mayor of Haifa and a former general, was elected as leader of Israel's Labor Party on a peace platform; Mitzna promised that if elected prime minister he would immediately enter into negotiations with the Palestinian leadership and that he would withdraw all settlers from the Gaza Strip without delay.
Remember When Offering an Olive Branch Meant Peace?
Palestinian olive trees are being uprooted to make way for a security fence are being sold illegally to rich Israelis and town councils, sometimes for thousands of pounds each. The illegal trade in olive trees has flourished as Israeli contractors, supported by armed guards, clear Palestinian agricultural land where an 80-mile electronic fence is being built to seal off the West Bank. Thousands of olive trees have been dug up to make way for the 150-ft wide barrier and security zone. Its route usually passes inside Palestinian territory, not along the old pre-1967 border, and thousands of Palestinian farmers say their livelihood is being taken away.
It's About Time
Rooting Out Evil is sending a weapons inspection team to the United States to inspect the chemical, biological, and nuclear weapons produced and concealed by the Bush regime.
Calling All Vegetarians
This Thanksgiving, American soldiers, sailors, airmen and Marines serving abroad consumed $2.3 million worth of traditional holiday fare, including 201,847 pounds of turkey; 131,720 pounds of beef; 114,036 pounds of ham; 6,381 pounds of duck; 9,498 pounds of Cornish hens; 64,676 pounds of seafood; 16,954 cans of sweet potatoes; 67,089 pounds of vegetables; 1,344 boxes of corn-on-the-cob; 8,035 cans of cranberry sauce; 67,895 pies; 4,117 pounds of fruitcake; 24,380 cans of eggnog; 8,299 cans of nuts; and 20,217 pounds of candy.
The EPA easing regulations governing
power plants which definitely cause air pollution vs. the EPA spending $715,000 to determine whether
oak trees cause air pollution.
Gore Vidal claiming the
Bush Junta was complicit in 9/11
vs. Newsmax claiming
Bill Clinton was complicit in 9/11.
Merry Christmas
On the twelfth day of fascism
John Ashcroft gave to me
Twelve digital implants
Eleven years protesting
Ten less amendments
Nine internment camps
Eight surveillance cameras
Seven TIPsters tipping
Six snoops a-sniffing
Five Carnivores
Four airport friskings
Three wiretappings
Two detained Muslims
And a Department of Homeland Security
Free Drugs
Not just free but mandatory. Before trusting what the government wants to shoot in your body, check out
What's Really In The Vaccines? By John Kaminski.
Radio Show of the Week
Egotistical and/or Masochistic Site of the Week
Googlism is a new site that searches Google for opinions of your search item from pages in the Google cache. Type in your name and find out what everybody thinks of you.
Calling All Journalists
State Legislatures, the National magazine of state government and policy, is looking for articles. CURRENT NEEDS: "Topics of interest to state legislators; profiles of individual legislators who have made a difference in their states and nationally; federal issues that concern or help states. Stories are aimed at state legislators; offer analysis of important issues; use lots of examples and quotes from experts and movers and shakers; lively, easy to read writing" Pays flat fee of $500 to $1000 for 1200 to 2500 words.
Calling All Terrorists
This Would Have Never Happened Under Mussolini
Pravda thinks the United States has become a totalitarian state.
And Robert Blake is Hiring OJ to Find His Wife's Real Killer
Calling Henry Kissinger
Good luck with your new job. As a personal favor, would you please explain why, according to
Time Magazine, Sept. 14, 2001, all national military flights that should have responded to the terrorists one week later, were canceled by the White house?
Penpals of the Week
Thirty-six people out of 10,000 in a rally against the continual existence of the SOA (
School Of Assassins) were found guilty for trespassing onto the Fort Benning military base in Georgia. Their sentences ranged from six months of probation to the maximum of six months in federal prison. Those draconian sentences are meant to silence and intimidate all of us. Send letters of support to
the prisoners.
Definition of the American Political System
Pronunciation: 'fa-"shi-z&m also 'fa-"si-
Function: noun
Etymology: Italian fascismo, from fascio bundle, fasces, group, from Latin fascis bundle & fasces fasces
Date: 1921
1 often capitalized : a political philosophy, movement, or regime (as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition.
When the Bough Breaks, the Cradle will Explode
I Are Cornfused
Am I the Only One
...who thinks the Boy Scouts of America, and any private organization, have the right to exclude anyone they damn well please, including atheists, and that kid who's suing the Boy Scouts for not letting him be a scout leader can start another organization like the Boy Scouts that DOES admit atheists or go to hell?
...who thinks that no land on earth is any more sacred than any other land, that God isn't a real estate developer who bestows parcels of land to certain groups of people who think they're holier than others (like those idiots in the mid-east fighting over Jerusalem), and that George W. Bush should actually be applauded for wanting to build something as alternative as a
geothermal power plant in Northern California, that there need to be MORE non-polluting geothermal power plants and windmills, even if Indians think that particular piece of land is "sacred"?
...who thinks that every single campaign reform
bill that has ever been before Congress is crap, and that the only thing that will clean things up is an amendment to the constitution of the United States that says "No political candidate for any publicly held office may accept any contribution whatsoever from anybody, at any time, for any reason?"
...who thinks it's only a crime if someone complains?
...who's looking forward to the porn film of Mohammed choosing a wife, but can't decide whether Mohammed should be played by Ron Jeremy or John Dough?
...who isn't doing laundry this week because astronomers just said that two super-massive black holes that have been circling each other were likely to collide and send ripples through the fabric of space, causing an infinitesimal wobbling in all matter?
GOOD MORNING!
I AM SORRY FOR BOTHERING YOU, SO I WILL START IMMEDIATELY THE EXPLANATION!
WE ARE A 27 YEARS OLD LEBANESE GIRL AND A 30 YEARS OLD LEBANESE GUY HAVING SOME DIFFICULTIES IN THE SHOWBIZ WORLD! OUR EXPERIENCE IS VERY SMALL AND THE OPPORTUNITIES HERE IN LEBANON ARE EVEN SMALLER!
NOW, WHAT WE ARE LOOKING FOR IS THE FOLLOWING: CHANCES HERE ARE VERY LITTLE AND OPPORTUNITIES ARE LESS ALSO! SO, WE WERE WONDERING IF THERE IS ANY POSSIBILITY TO GET HELP FROM A GREAT WRITER AS YOU ARE, SIR! WE WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE IF YOU MIGHT HELP US GIVING SOME CLUE IN OUR FUTURE CAREER AND MAYBE ONE DAY THE OPPORTUNITY OF WORKING WITH YOU! HOPE TO HAVE A REPLY FROM YOU!
THANK YOU FOR YOUR TIME BEST REGARDS
CHRISTINE & IMAD
Dear Christine and Imad,
Thank you for braving time and space to contact me.
In showbiz as in politics, you've got to think globally but act locally. I can certainly understand why you have the fantasy of finding someone in Hollywood willing to whisk you out of the mid-east and bring you to Hollywood, but unless your uncle is Steven Spielberg, it ain't gonna happen. If you want to be in showbiz, you've got to do it from where you are.
Forget "opportunities." Forget getting someone to hire you. Be an artist. Be in showbiz by virtue of what you are actually doing in your life. I can tell you, in all seriousness, that I know nothing of life in Lebanon other
than what I see on American television, and what little I see is not to be trusted. I could use a lifeline to Lebanon telling me what's really going on, fictional or non-fictional, a report telling me the other side of whatever the American media is telling me, and there are millions of others just as curious as me.
You can be that lifeline. You want to be in showbiz? We don't care until you show us something. Get yourself a digital video camera, edit on the computer you obviously already have, and start making Lebanese movies.
What's that you say? You don't have any money for actors or props or sets or costumes? You don't need them. All you need is a camera. Use the principles of Dogme 95, a style of filmmaking with a great deal of acceptance in the legitimate world of film, especially at festivals where you would have the greatest shot at getting shown.
Here is the official Dogme 95 "Vow of Chastity." (Don't worry about #9. Video is acceptable.)
"I swear to submit to the following set of rules drawn up and confirmed by DOGME 95:
1. Shooting must be done on location. Props and sets must not be brought in (if a particular prop is necessary for the story, a location must be chosen where this prop is to be found).
2. The sound must never be produced apart from the images or vice versa. (Music must not be used unless it occurs where the scene is being shot).
3. The camera must be hand-held. Any movement or immobility attainable in the hand is permitted. (The film must not take place where the camera is standing; shooting must take place where the film takes place).
4. The film must be in color. Special lighting is not acceptable. (If there is too little light for exposure the scene must be cut or a single lamp be attached to the camera).
5. Optical work and filters are forbidden.
6. The film must not contain superficial action. (Murders, weapons, etc. must not occur.)
7. Temporal and geographical alienation are forbidden. (That is to say that the film takes place here and now.)
8. Genre movies are not acceptable.
9. The film format must be Academy 35 mm.
10. The director must not be credited. Furthermore I swear as a director to refrain from personal taste! I am no longer an artist. I swear to refrain from creating a "work", as I regard the instant as more important than the whole. My supreme goal is to force the truth out of my characters and
settings. I swear to do so by all the means available and at the cost of any good taste and any aesthetic considerations.
Thus I make my VOW OF CHASTITY."
Copenhagen, Monday 13 March 1995
On behalf of DOGME 95
Lars von Trier Thomas Vinterberg
(For more, check out the official Dogme 95 site at
http://www.tvropa.com/tvropa1.2/film/dogme95/index.htm)
There you go. You don't need anything from me. Give yourself permission to become the most important modern Lebanese filmmakers. Better to be a big fish in the small pond of Lebanon than a small minnow in the big pond of Hollywood surrounded by sharks.
"Get your work made. Shoot it. Sending your scripts out is like playing the lottery. It's not a meritocracy. Very few people will read something and decide they like it. They need to hear someone else tell them its good. So you should create your own opportunities shooting it on digital or doing whatever it takes to get your script made."
- Burr Steers (Igby Goes Down) -
Screenwriter's Joke from Hell
A screenwriter comes home to a burned-down house. His sobbing and slightly-singed wife is standing outside.
"What happened, honey?" the screenwriter asks.
"Oh, John, it was terrible," she weeps. "I was cooking, the phone rang. It was your agent. Because I was on the phone, I didn't notice the stove was on fire. It went up in second. Everything is gone. I nearly didn't make it out of the house alive. Poor Fluffy is..."
"Wait -- back up a minute," the screenwriter says. "My agent called?"
WHO'S GOING TO HELL THIS WEEK?
December 2, 2002
UNDO THE COUP
or
A BIOLOGY LESSON FROM HELL
Basically, there are two types of bacteria: microbes and pathogens. Microbes are good, pathogens are bad. Pathogens cause disease, and microbes prevent it by stopping pathogens.
Now, disinfectants will not really KILL bacteria. In fact it's possible to kill them only with extreme heat. In fact, bacteria just goes dormant in a hostile environment (i.e. disinfectant), but they can wake up again.
When you spray a surface with disinfectant, you force all the bacteria to go dormant. However, they will eventually wake up because the conditions in the house are no longer hostile. But the first bacteria to wake up are the
pathogens. And since the microbes are still "asleep," they're not around to stop the pathogens, so they multiply and do their nasty work.
This leads to an increase in pathogen population, which means we have to use more disinfectant. . . just as the microbes were starting to wake up. And the cycle starts all over again.
And so, even though the Disney crew cleaned the ship, they didn't actually eliminate the cause of the problem.
- From Eric Deckers, who sells an
enzyme product that can be used instead of chemical disinfectants. It promotes microbe growth, and THEY wipe out the pathogens -
LAWSUIT FROM HELL
Home Depot was ordered to pay
$3.8 million in a class action suit because they didn't have pricetags on absolutely every item in the store, including individual pieces of lumber, even though the prices were clearly posted near the items. Home Depot did not admit to any wrongdoing, and said in its settlement agreement that it believed "few, if any," consumers were injured by its actions, and that the cost will, of course, be passed on to consumers in the form of higher prices.
SATAN DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW
CHRISTMAS GIFT FROM HELL
If you know someone with pitchfork marks on their buttocks that aren't healing nicely, it's time to get them a
Get Out of Hell Free T-Shirt.
QUOTES FROM HELL
One of these statements was never made.
"Court-appointed President George W. Bush has named war criminal emeritus Henry Kissinger to head the 'independent' commission to investigate the 9/11/01 attacks. Since neither Pol Pot nor Agosto Pinochet were available, Kissinger was the natural choice. Next Bush plans to appoint Rush Limbaugh to run a listening post to monitor the voice of reason."
- Barry Crimmins -
"Kissinger is to candor and the public's right to know what Michael Jackson is to normal behavior."
"The illegal we do immediately. The unconstitutional takes a little longer."
- Henry Kissinger -
"All the problems we face in the United States today can be traced to an unenlightened immigration policy on the part of the American Indian."
- Pat Paulsen -
"America is duping the world into believing it supports these inspections. President Bush intends to go to war even if inspectors find nothing." - Peter Kilfoyle (member of British Parliament) -
"There is only one party now, the Republicrats, or if you prefer, the Property Party. And at this late date they are constrained in their ruthlessness not by opposition parties or checks and balances but by the prospect of public revolt."
- Steve Perry:
Spank the Donkey - "I promise to turn your air
brown."
- George W. Bush -
"We are as much informed of a writer's genius by what he selects as by what he originates."
"One who, while himself seeking happiness,
does not oppress with violence other beings
who also desire happiness,
will find happiness hereafter."
- Buddha - "In God We Trust. I don't believe it would sound any better if it were true."
- Mark Twain -
"Industry without art is brutality."
- Ananda K. Coomaraswamy -
"If there is any doubt at all that the terrorists have won - that they have managed with a single day's freakish hits to revamp the most open society on earth into an emerging police state where suspicion and secrecy are the twin watch-towers of government and cowering and conforming the prevailing instincts of an allegedly free press or an even more alleged political opposition - then last week's creation of the Department of Homeland Security should put all such doubts to rest. It operates beyond congressional scrutiny and public accountability, and guarantees secrecy to its own machinations or to those of any private business with which it deals."
-
Pierre Tristam,
news-journalonline -
"How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving, and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in your life you will have been all of these."
- George Washington Carver -
"Be my oasis and I will try not to be your mirage."
- Graham Parker -
"This is not a dress rehearsal."
- Meria Heller -
"Wonderful life, my ass."
- Mike Jasper -
QUIZ FROM HELL
During the 1950s, government officials were very concerned that, in the event of an atomic attack, law and order would break down irrevocably as the nation dissolved into widespread panic and hysteria. In its publicity campaigns the Federal Civil Defense Administration wanted to frighten people sufficiently to encourage them to take part in drills, but not to incapacitate them with fear.
This government-sponsored quiz appeared in the August 21, 1953 issue of Collier's magazine as a supplement to an article about human behavior during nuclear attack.
SCAVENGER HUNT FROM HELL
Hundreds of
portable radioactive devices were planted all over the former Soviet Union in the 1970's, according to the International Atomic Energy Agency. The records were lost and nobody knows where the radioactive canisters are. Each of the devices, which look like old-fashioned milk cans, contains enough cesium 137 to contaminate a small city for decades.
CHRISTMAS SHOPPING ADVICE FROM HELL
Wal-Mart is the largest importer of Chinese-made products in the world, buying $10 billion worth of merchandise from several thousand Chinese factories. If you consider yourself a champion of human rights, the next time you are in Wal-Mart, consider the fact that your purchases are financing a partnership between one of the most ruthless corporations and brutal totalitarian dictatorships in history.
SITES FROM HELL
The Boston Phoenix asked 33 of its staffers and freelance contributors to share their thoughts on expanding the War on Terrorism.
Here are
E-mail addresses of every newspaper, magazine, and TV station in the world.
Don't let this happen to you.
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY archives are
here.
All of Helen's columns are
here.
Dr. Hollywood archives are
here
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it.
Thanks,
Satan
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form.
It is made entirely by slave labor.
Unless you think I deserve to get
paid.
Many thanks to Michael Dare!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Updated URL
from M31
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Another nice day. Getting cold tonight, though.
While the kid got a haircut, I went to Reptiles Unlimited for fresh crickets. Had no idea they had a website (looks like it's new), but it's where we've always found all the
provisions for the Jo (the remaining lizard) & Shelob, the tartanula.
Still no Ginger.
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS opens the night with a RERUN 'JAG', then a RERUN 'The Guardian', and a RERUN 'Judging Amy'.
On a RERUN Dave are Michele Pfeiffer and Bon Jovi.
On a RERUN Craiggers are Susan Sarandon, Tony Hawk, and Cam'ron.
NBC has a fresh 'Just Shoot Me', then a fresh 'In-Laws' followed by a RERUN 'Frasier', followed by a RERUN 'In-Laws'. 'Dateline' caps the evening.
Scheduled on a fresh Jay> are Howie Mandel, Juliana Margulies, and Bon Jovi.
On a RERUN Conan are Marisa Tomei, Jim Breuer, and Sparta.
Scheduled on a fresh Carson Daly are Piper Perabo and Maroon 5.
ABC has a RERUN '8 Simple Rules', then a RERUN 'Jim' followed by a RERUN 'Bonnie', then a RERUN 'Less Than Perfect', and wraps the night with a RERUN 'NYPD Blues'.
The WB has a RERUN 'Gilmore Girls' followed by a RERUN 'Smallville'.
Faux has a fresh 'That 70's Show', then a fresh 'Grounded For Life', and then a fresh '24' (Day 2: 1pm - 2pm).
UPN has a RERUN 'Buffy', then a RERUN 'Girlfriends' and a RERUN 'The Parkers'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Curious about the pulled promo? Click the picture...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patriotism & Oil
Robert Redford
Actor Robert Redford, in an op-ed opinion piece published in the Los Angeles Times, accused the Bush administration on Monday of "lack of leadership" for failing to wean the United States from dependence on fossil fuels.
The actor, a longtime solar power advocate, warned that the nation's wasteful use of gas and oil created political problems abroad and air pollution at home.
"Prolonging our dependence on fossil fuels would guarantee homeland insecurity," the actor wrote. "If you are worried about getting oil from an unstable Persian Gulf, consider the alternatives: Indonesia, Nigeria, Uzbekistan."
Innovation in energy policy, he concluded, "would keep energy dollars in the American economy, reduce air pollution and create jobs at home."
For a bit more, Robert Redford
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
FBI Tagged Author As Anti-American
Graham Greene
Renowned English novelist Graham Greene, the remake of whose deeply critical tale of the Vietnam War The Quiet American is currently getting rave reviews, was closely watched by the FBI.
The Guardian newspaper, citing documents released under the U.S. Freedom of Information Act, said on Monday the religion-driven Greene had been tagged as anti-American for his meetings
with people such as Cuba's Fidel Castro.
The newspaper said the declassified documents showed the FBI opened and read Greene's letters at the height of the Cold War when he was refused entry to the United States for having
briefly been a member of the Communist Party.
Greene, who died in 1991, was accused by American reviewers of having turned on Britain's transatlantic ally in his 1955 novel the Quiet American, which recounts the duels between a
British reporter and an American official in Vietnam who turns out to be planting bombs in Saigon.
The first film fudged the ending to make it acceptable to American audiences. The new version, starring Michael Caine, is more faithful to the book.
Graham Greene
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
British actor Sir John Mills (C) is kissed by his daughters Juiliet (L) and Hayley after receiving his BAFTA award in London on December 2, 2002. The 94-year-old veteran received the special
honour from the British Academy of Film and Television Arts to mark his contribution to cinema during a career spanning more than 60 years.
Photo by Dan Chung
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Works Forthcoming
HST & Tom Wolfe
The times they are a-changing too fast for literati Tom Wolfe and Hunter S. Thompson, who are trying to make sense of the current conservative climate. A source close to Thompson - who is wrapping "Kingdom of Fear"- says that election night
sent the gonzo journo into a "tailspin. He wouldn't get out of bed." Thompson, however, has enough energy to ditch Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner. He tells a source that his new book will not be excerpted, as per usual, in Rolling Stone.
"Hunter's disappointed with its garish lad-mag makeover," the source says. Instead, the likely home for first serial rights will be Vanity Fair. "He had a good experience with them in the past," says the source, adding that Thompson describes "Kingdom" as
a guide to "how to live life as an outlaw." Meanwhile, Wolfe has had a difficult time finding meat for his campus-set novel "Hooking Up." From his year of combing America's universities, Wolfe says, "I don't see a new Left rising. I don't see a phenomenon
like radical chic occurring again. I'm perturbed by the lack of issues on campuses. There are union issues, but that's not very sexy."
HST & Tom Wolfe
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Asks Viewers to Pick Year's Big Story
E!
What was the biggest celebrity story of 2002 - was it Liza Minnelli's marriage? Or Robert Blake's arrest for the murder of his wife?
E! Entertainment Television has chosen five episodes from those that aired this year, based on ratings, newsworthiness and how much each subject lives up
to the definition of "The E! True Hollywood Story."
Besides Minnelli and Blake, the final episodes are about O.J. Simpson, The Beach Boys and the game show "Family Feud."
Starting Tuesday, viewers can log onto E!'s Web site and vote for what they believe is the top celebrity story of 2002. "The E! True Hollywood Story Of The Year" premieres at 8 p.m. EST Dec. 22.
E!
www.eonline.com/On/Holly/
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Faux Show A New Low
'Joe Millionaire'
After months of top-secret shooting, Fox next month will take the wraps off of a reality series that poses a simple question: Who wants to marry a multimillionaire -- who's actually not even a millionaire?
The network has quietly finished production on "Joe Millionaire," a seven-episode series that combines elements of Fox's controversial 2000 special "Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?" with ABC's red-hot relationship
franchise "The Bachelor." The series will bow Jan. 6 at 9 p.m., filling the time slot vacated by "Girls Club." Alex McLeod ("Trading Spaces") will host.
"Joe" features 20 single women who fly to France in order to win the affection of a hand-some American they believe to be worth $50 million. The twist: The as-yet unidentified man is actually a construction worker with an annual income of $19,000.
Viewers will know from the start that the faux Joe is actually a blue-collar guy with no coin to his name. They'll also watch as he undergoes a Pygmalion-like transformation from humble construction worker into someone
who might pass for a multimillionaire.
The 20 women who participated in the show, however, are told Joe recently inherited $50 million and is looking for someone with whom he can share his wealth. Joe will maintain this ruse, though he'll be honest with the
women about every other aspect of his life, from education to past romances.
'Joe Millionaire'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jake, a two and a half year old Orangutan, clings on to his trainer Sandra Clesca at the Parrot Jungle in Pinescrest, Fla. After being in this Miami suburb since 1936,
Parrot Jungle's birds, monkeys, orangutans and alligators are packing their bags and heading to a flashy new home on Watson Island in Biscayne Bay. Parrot Jungle Island
is expected to open next summer on the main route between Miami and the trendy South Beach neighborhood.
Photo by Yesikka Vivancos
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man With An Opinion
Dave Grohl
Not everyone wants to read Kurt Cobain's diaries. Cobain's ex-Nirvana bandmate Dave Grohl is not interested in ever reading the tome. "Well, I'm just saying that I wouldn't read it," Grohl told VH-1 satellite radio's Maria Chambers. "I might pick up a crazy biography of Little Richard's life or something like that, but a friend, no, that's a little weird."
Dave Grohl
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Behavior Eclipses Music
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson seems to be moonwalking from one embarrassment to another this year.
He publicly feuded with his record label, accusing its chief of racism after his album sales were low. He dangled his infant son from a hotel balcony. And his morbidly altered face just gets weirder.
As the trial resumes Tuesday in a lawsuit filed against the 44-year-old entertainer in a contract dispute, his erratic behavior has once again eclipsed his musical talent.
David Gest, who produced Jackson's 30th anniversary special last year, told CNN's Larry King that Jackson's physical transformation resulted from "bad advice."
"Sometimes people tell you that if you do certain things, you'll look better, you'll feel better, and you leave it to people who you trust," said Gest, who met his wife, Liza Minnelli, through Jackson.
For a lot more, Michael Jackson
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Formerly 'The Vidiot'
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loses Teeth in Club Brawl
Liam Gallagher
Liam Gallagher, wild-man vocalist of British rock band Oasis detained after a brawl in a five-star Munich hotel at the weekend, has been freed from jail after posting bail of more than $100,000, police said Monday.
A Munich police source told Reuters Gallagher was released Sunday after his management team came up with the bail. He faces charges of grievous bodily assault and resisting arrest for beating a number of people, including a police officer.
"The Oasis management had to come up with a six-figure sum to have the guys released," the police source said.
Gallagher, 30, lost several teeth in the punch-out, the latest in a string of misadventures for the singer, noted for reviving Britain's tradition of rock 'n' roll.
"The boy didn't look good, several of his teeth were punched out," said Munich police spokesman Christoph Reichenbach.
He said Gallagher and two other band members had got into a fight with some Italians in a nightclub at Munich's top hotel, the Bayerischer Hof, at around 2 a.m. Sunday. Liam's brother Noel was not involved.
Liam Gallagher
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
La police australienne a annoncé avoir saisi des T-shirts représentant une relation sexuelle entre le président américain George W. Bush et le chef d'Al-Qaďda Oussama ben
Laden, suite ŕ une plainte pour "obcénité" d'un acheteur.
Photo by Arif Ali
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best & Worst
British Teeth
Ozzy Osbourne and former Spice Girl Melanie C. have been voted by their countrymen as having the very worst teeth in the United Kingdom. In a survey commissioned by the British makers of a new electric toothbrush, Mel C. (left) and Ozzy topped such dental disasters as Tony Blair and designer Vivienne Westwood as having the nastiest gnashers in all of Great Britain. As for Yankees, the Brits chose George W. Bush and former first daughter Chelsea Clinton as the Americans who should never smile publicly.
British Teeth
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Stored In Single Molecule
Digital Image
An image composed of over 1000 of bits of information can be stored in the atoms of a single molecule, US researchers have shown.
Bing Fung and colleagues at the University of Oklahoma found that the 19 hydrogen atoms in a lone liquid crystal molecule can store at least 1024 bits of information. The data are stored in the complex interaction of the protons' magnetic moments.
Fung hopes the technique, dubbed "molecular photography", could one day be used to pack massive amounts of digital information into a tiny space but admits that the process is currently experimental. "It's a very, very
first step towards using nuclear spins for molecular information processing," he told New Scientist :
In their experiments, the researchers used a molecule to store a black and white image, 32 pixels square. The image was encoded in binary 1s and 0s that can easily be processed by a computer.
The researchers fired an electromagnetic pulse containing 1024 different radio frequencies close to 400 megahertz at the molecule. Each frequency either had amplitude, representing a "1", or
did not, representing or a "0". This imprinted the information on the molecule.
The researchers were able to read the information back by firing a second pulse with slightly shifted frequencies at the molecule and measuring the consequent changes with a nuclear magnetic resonance (NMR) instrument.
Journal reference: Journal of Chemical Physics (vol, 117 p 6903)
Digital Image
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sweeps Over Til February
Ratings
ABC's "Dinotopia," the last of the broadcast networks' 33 new series to bow this fall, got off to a slow start on Thanksgiving night, finishing well behind its network rivals.
One night later, NBC's family fare -- "It's A Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie" -- did much better, while Fox original TV movie "The Brady Bunch in the White House" bombed.
CBS, which served up three servings of crime to viewers on Thanksgiving, took the night in overall audience (13.2 million) and tied NBC in adults 18-49 (4.2), according to preliminaries,
led by the 9 o'clock repeat of "CSI."
NBC did pretty well with its Faith Hill concert special on Thanksgiving (preliminary 4.2/11 in adults 18-49). Earlier in the day, its coverage of the 76th annual "Macy's Thanksgiving Day
Parade" scored a strong 15.0/30 in the top "metered" markets.
NBC also shone a night later with its original Muppets movie, which delivered the best Friday 18-49 rating from 8 to 10 for any network this season (preliminary 3.8/12). It also led its
time period in kids, teens and total viewers (11 million).
At the same time, Fox's original "Brady Bunch" movie averaged a not-so-groovy 1.4/5 in both adults 18-49 and 18-34 and just 3.4 million viewers overall. Apparently, the network made the
right decision to keep it out of sweeps, which ended on Wednesday.
ABC's two-hour "Paul McCartney" averaged a so-so 3.1/9 in adults 18-49, placing third from 9 to 11.
Ratings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In Memory
Bruno Wintzell
Bruno Wintzell,
a Swedish opera singer and actor who was briefly married to actress
Goldie Hawn, has died. He was 58.
Wintzell died Sunday at a Stockholm hospital after a long bout with cancer.
"He was waiting to have a stem cell operation when ... pneumonia set in," his sister, Goeta Wintzell told The Associated Press.
Born March 23, 1944, in the Stockholm suburb of Bromma, Wintzell began his career in show business in 1963 by singing pop music in Swedish amusement parks. After taking
singing lessons in London and Salzburg, Austria, he embarked on a career as an opera singer.
Wintzell also gained acclaim for his performances in musical theater, including the Scandinavian production of "Hair." But his own production of "Jesus Christ Superstar" in
Stockholm was a failure and led to his filing for personal bankruptcy protection.
In 1973, he married Hawn and starred with her in the American film
"The Girl from Petrovka." The marriage ended in divorce two years later.
Winzell is survived by a 24-year-old son and a 12-year-old daughter, his sister said.
Bruno Wintzell
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Flamingos gründeln am Montag bei Sonnenaufgang in einem küstennahen Feuchtgebiet in der Nähe von Doha, der Hauptstadt von Katar.
Photo by Chris Helgren
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'The Osbournes'
Fairly freshly updated! 'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
#4
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Daily, hour-by-hour listings
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welcome !
You have reached the Home page of BartCop Entertainment.
Make yourself home, take your shoes off...
Go ahead, scratch it if it itches.
The idea is to have fun.
Do you have something to say?
Anything that increased your blood pressure, or, even better,
amused or entertained?
Do you have a great album no one's heard?
How about a favorite TV show, movie, book, play, cartoon, or legal amusement?
A popular artist that just plain pisses you off?
A box set the whole world should own?
Vile, filthy rumors about Republican musicians?
Just plain vile, filthy rumors?
This is your place.
(In other words, submissions are welcome.)
Send mail to Marty
( SuprmChaos@yahoo.com )
Or this Marty
( SuprmChaos@aol.com )
Or this Marty
( SuprmChaos@hotmail.com )
You can even send it to this Marty
( Marty@suprmchaos.com )
Thank you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Previous Issue
BartCop Entertainment Archive ~ Year 2
BartCop Entertainment Archive ~ Year 1
Home
Links
Return to BartCop
"Management reserves the right to edit, yada yada."
''You send it to me, it's mine.''
Established 26 July, 2001
