Bartcop Entertainment - Tuesday, 19 November, 2002
Tuesday
19 November, 2002
(Updated Daily)
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Issue #29
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
"Freedom? We don't need no stinking freedom!"
ISSUE #29
is brought to you by
The Patriotic Women of America
BELIEVE IT OR ELSE
I Feel So Much Better Now
Meanwhile, the Bush administration is laying the groundwork for the resumption of
nuclear testing and the development of new nuclear weapons.
Best Reason to Switch to Linux
The National Security Agency has an
access code built into Windows.
Proof You Can Satirize a Satire
Mad Magazine satirizing The Onion? Sounds impossible but
they did it, including "Why running an editorial attributed to someone you wouldn't expect to be writing an editorial on a trivial subject that normally doesn't warrant an editorial is so damn funny week after week," by Nelson Mandela.
Movie of the Week
What Goes Around, Comes Around
Why John Lennon is Turning in his Grave
How dare you have a pro-war message on this site. John Lennon wouldn't want anything to do with you. You are despicable.
Dear Mr. Dare,
Thank you for visiting Triumph PC ONLINE and our advanced Persona-BotsT, which represent the first use of Artificial Intelligence (AI) in the recreation or cloning of a human personality. We greatly appreciate your feedback. However, as you may not know, John Lennon was a great believer in free speech. While you are certainly entitled to your own opinion, I believe that if you take the time to actually read and understand that message (written by the Founder of Triumph PC, himself a peacenik who I believe was arrested in one of the final anti-Vietnam war protests in Washington, DC), I think you will realize that a (defensive) war against those who would murder innocent, unarmed civilians is far less despicable than the ignorance of those who would do little or nothing to put a stop to it.
There isn't the slightest shred of any doubt that John Lennon would be against this war. It's like you've put up a site that's a tribute to Gandhi with ads for hamburgers. You can exercise your free speech all you want, but if you've got a pro war message, put it up on a Richard Nixon site.
Mr. Dare,
If you know John's feelings re Saddam Hussein and the War on Terror, we (and I'm sure many others) would love to interview you. None of John's close friends or living relatives that we've spoken to know?
Most people aren't aware that while John was a peacenik publicly, he was still very much a macho Liverpudlian privately. When antagonized, John was generally the first one to throw a punch. But, as I said, if you have verifiable knowledge as to John's views on Saddam Hussein and the War on Terror, we would love to know them.
Dani
Imagine there's no countries,
It isn't hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace.
No reply to this one.
You are cordially invited to go to their site and let them know that John Lennon would want his name removed.
Under-Reported Quote of the Week
Israel's Prime Minister Ariel Sharon called for an invasion of
Iran "the day after" Iraq is crushed.
This Would Have Never Happened Under Mussolini
Radio Show of the Week
Casting Coup of the Week
Following Al Gore's triumphant appearance on Futurama as a floating head in a jar, Bill Clinton is slated to appear as a floating dick in a jar. "They were going to have my dick floating in a jar," said the ex-president. "I couldn't let them do it with someone else's voice, could I?"
No, Really, I Didn't Make This Up
You know something is very very wrong with the world when
George Putnam comes out against the war. He says "From January to August of this year, the single biggest customer for Iraq oil has been the United States. Iraq was one of America's largest suppliers, providing 525,000 barrels of oil a day. Recently, Iraq entertained lavishly at its Baghdad International Fair, and signed more than 20 oil-for-food contracts – worth $500 million – with Saudi Arabia, Iran, the United Arab Emirates, France and Spain. The 10-day trade fair attracted 1,600 companies representing 49 countries."
One out of three Britons think
Bush is a bigger threat than Hussein.
And Then I Woke Up
In a surprise announcement on Veteran's Day, George W. Bush announced that he was going to shift his focus onto helping our current veterans instead of creating new ones.
Commercial I'd Like to See
Wife: I said "Get the snow, Rob, off the back door."
Husband: I heard "get a blowjob from a crack whore."
Spokesputz: It's not your fault, it's your cellular static. You need Sprint.
Husband: And this crack whore?
Spokesputz: Let me know when you're done with her.
Who Cares?
In order to restore her good name (!?), a federal appeals panel on Tuesday revived
Gennifer Flowers' defamation suit accusing Hillary Rodham Clinton of masterminding a campaign to discredit her claim of an affair with Bill Clinton.
Who'da Thunk?
Censored Picture of the Week
The black female centaur character
that Disney cut from Fantasia
who's been missing since 1960
where you'll find suppressed government documents on chemical, biological, and nonlethal weapons, webpages on condoms, HIV, and safe-sex programs that the Bush administration has removed from Federal Websites, Abbie Hoffman's sequel to Steal This Book that was lost by the publisher, and other stuff that's just sort of disappeared.
Calling All Terrorists
Israeli security guards foiled a suspected hijacking attempt on an El Al Airlines flight from Tel Aviv to Istanbul, Meanwhile, security guards Saran-Wrapped a suspected hijacker on a Victoria's Secret flight from Istanbul to Constantinople.
And Then I Woke Up
When David Letterman asked Al Gore what he thought of the recent election, he said "The Republicans stole it, just like they did the last one."
Free Show of the Week
Once again,
the Leonids, from midnight to dawn, the morning of November 19th. (That's TONIGHT if you're getting this on Monday) Catch them at the right time and you will understand why people thought
the world was going to end. And if you just happen to have problems with the "talking snake" theory of creation, you might pause to consider that the
seeds of life on this planet didn't necessarily spring from a primordial ooze like evolutionists would have you believe. Our DNA could have come from the Leonids.
Modest Suggestion
The next time you get an e-mail from someone trying to get money out of Nigeria, forward them dIsInFoTaInMeNt Today.
Contradiction in Terms of the Week
Why Bother Suspending the Bill of Rights?
"An entirely new arsenal of weapons, based on devices designed to introduce subliminal messages or to alter the body's psychological and data-processing capabilities, might be used to incapacitate individuals. These weapons aim to control or alter the psyche, or to attack the various sensory and data-processing systems of the human organism. In both cases, the goal is to confuse or destroy the signals that normally keep the body in equilibrium."
Totally Wacko New World Order Conspiracy Theory of the Week
LSD, Esalen, HAARP and the Cosmic Cointelpro
or
When You Dance With the Devil...
Am I the Only One
...who doesn't trust the U.N. inspectors any more than he trusts Bush or Hussein?
...who thinks the U.N. inspectors are as likely to plant evidence as discover it?
...who thinks there should be a 24 hour disarmament channel showing what the inspectors are up to every step of the way?
...who thinks the ICBM the UN inspectors find in Saddam Hussein's den will turn out not to be a weapon of mass destruction but his dope stash?
...who thinks the army dismissed those
gay linguists just because it's fun to say "gay linguist?"
...who has full confidence that
Hu Jintao, who is replacing Jiang Zemin as the ruler of China's Communist Party, will usher in the same era of peace and freedom in China that George W. Bush has ushered into the U.S.?
...who's just a bit pissed off that everyone is up in arms about William Safire's recent
New York Times article about John Poindexter's Home Security Agency when the Guardian and I reported on it six months ago?
...who thinks we obviously wouldn't attack Iraq if they had nukes?
...who thinks the UN inspectors will find Saddam's porn collection in his sock drawer?
...who thinks that last one was just a rewrite of a previous joke?
...who thinks things would be a whole lot simpler if they got rid of income tax, added a 10% sales tax to everything, gave half to the federal government, and divided the other half between state and local?
...who thinks Freedom is the worst piece of crap Paul McCartney has ever written, that he should be ashamed of himself, that you can't have it both ways, that John Lennon would be ripping him to shreds, that fighting and love are opposites and you can't sing the praises of both without sounding like a hypocrite, that you can't say you're against fighting so we should all love one another except for people we really really don't like?
...who wonders why there isn't a gardening show on NBC called Lawn Order?
...who wonders why there isn't a cafeteria called Tray Chic?
...who wonders why there isn't a croissant store on Crescent Heights called Croissant Heights?
...who feels SO much safer now that Paul Reubens is in jail again?
...who doesn't give a damn about other people's sex lives?
...but who still thinks Bush needs a blowjob?
I recently moved here earlier this year after writing a couple of humorist columns for an alternative newsweekly in Nashville for the past three years. Confronted with the limited pay journalism offers and rigidity of the form I wanted to get into something a little more creative. Does this background give me any leverage in anyway? Could my columns be used to get an agent or would they not be interested in anything that wasn't in an entertainment medium format?
I'd be interested in getting into or at least learning about comedy writing for variety shows (sketch comedy, late night). Would my columns be of any use in pursuing these ventures or will it basically count as bupkus? Is the talent/writers for this medium basically drawn solely from standup clubs or comedy troupes?
What about these much vaunted "writer's assistant" gigs that I hear are so important to getting your foot in the door and learning first hand about TV writing and such? Is there a resource to find out about these things other than the UTA list or the entertainment job websites? They seem to be as rare as a Republican at a pro choice
rally.
Finally, is it truly impossible to make it anywhere in this business while remaining the misanthropic social malcontent that you are? Most writers I have ever known are not "people" people. Is it professional death here to not be adept at the schmooze and aimless small talk? How in the hell did Larry David manage to get where he is?
hugs, kisses, and inappropriate touching,
BT
BT,
Thank you for braving time and space to contact me.
In the vast majority of cases, the only thing that counts is personal contact. Unless you actually know the person who is hiring, or are recommended by someone they know, forget it. They won't even read your stuff. There are too many incredibly talented people with actual experience who are friends or friends of friends for them to consider hiring a stranger.
The only thing journalistic experience counts towards is another job in journalism. Moving to radio might help because then you'll end up with a demo reel instead of clippings. Being a journalist helped ME because I was a journalist in Hollywood, and people contacted me because they wanted publicity. Filmmakers would call me before their films were released and ask for my help fixing them before they were foisted upon the public. Producers who admired my film criticism actually hired me to fix scripts before they went into production. In all these cases, I did nothing to pursue the work. They came after me. Remember who's the fisherman and who's the fish.
Writer's assistant jobs do exist. There are ads in the trades all the time. If you can't afford a subscription to the incredibly exorbitant Variety and Reporter, move to L.A. and check out the lounge at the WGA where there are copies. It helps if you're a hooker or a drug dealer.
Larry David was Jerry Seinfeld's best bud. Agreed, he's a major genius, but if he weren't Jerry Seinfeld's best bud, he'd be flipping burgers right now. Like I said, personal contact is EVERYTHING.
Calling all Performers
If you live near the Mississippi, Andrei Codrescu wants your help making a documentary.
"We are looking for art performances that engage the river itself or some entity that affects the river. For instance, if Miss River Bridge crashes a public meeting of some sort, we want to be there. We are hoping that you could dream up an event, visual and expressive hopefully, that will encapsulate in an interactive way the river and what role it plays in your life/art. We are, of course, interested in the ecology of the beast, but also in its political cultures, music, folklore, poetry. This is not an institutionally sanctioned project, so you can let your darkest or oddest ideas fly. Write back to me directly at
andrei@corpse.org."
WHO'S GOING TO HELL THIS WEEK?
November 18, 2002
UNDO THE COUP
Satan for President in 2004
CARTOON FROM HELL
HISTORY LESSON FROM HELL
There is immense confusion around the concept of globalization. Globalization of what is the question not asked. The reason it is not asked is that the answer reveals what is kept hidden in official culture - that globalization means dominant banks and corporations moving across the worlds borders in rising tides of short-term speculative capital flows and floods of junk, luxury and armament commodities with no accountability beyond themselves. The promised increase in prosperity means more privatization of public goods, more exotic commodities for those who can afford to pay for them, and an ever larger share of the profits of this global trade going to the borderless banks and corporations commanding the agenda.
In other words, globalization is a masking term for oligopolist corporate globalization. This meaning is very different from what people think of when they think of the word globalization. They think it
means world interconnection by trade when, in fact, it means the subordination or ruin of whatever public or private enterprise does not fit the demands of the imposed system.
INTERNET JOKE FROM HELL
After having his 11th child, a Bush voter from Alabama decided he had had enough children (he couldn't afford a larger double-wide for the family). So, the man went to his doctor (who also treated mules) and told him that he and his wife/cousin didn't want to have any more kids. The doctor, aware his patient was a Bush voter, told him that there was a procedure called a 'GOP vasectomy' that could fix the problem.
The doctor instructed him to go home, get a cherry bomb (fireworks are legal in Alabama), light it, put it in a beer can, then hold the can up to his ear and count to 10. The Bush voter said to the doctor, "I may not be the smartest man, doc, but I don't see how putting a cherry bomb in a beer can next to my ear is going to help me -- I don't want to go deef!"
So, the couple drove to Georgia to get a second opinion. The Georgia physician was just about to tell them about the procedure for a vasectomy when he noticed from the bumper sticker on their pick-up truck that they were Bush supporters from Alabama. This doctor instead told the man to go home and get a cherry bomb, light it, place it in a beer can, hold it to his ear, and count to 10.
Figuring that both learned physicians couldn't be wrong, the man went home, lit a cherry bomb and put it in a beer can. He held the can up to his ear and began to count, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5...", at which point he paused, placed the beer can between his legs and resumed counting on his other hand...
SATAN DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW
If you microwave raisins, they turn back into grapes.
CHRISTMAS GIFT FROM HELL
Get someone a "You Make Jesus Vomit"
T-Shirt and while you're at it
get one for your teddy bear.
MAGIC NUMBERS FROM HELL
Five winning Republican candidates, got EXACTLY 18181 votes.
Last month, the average American spent...
$32 million on toilet paper
$89 million on CDs
$116 million on cigarettes
$804 million on porn
- From FHM and we KNOW they can be trusted -
QUOTES FROM HELL
"Aggressive pursuit of truth is the best safeguard of Democracy."
- Studs Turkel -
"There will come a time when, at the merest touch upon those keys, image will follow image and emotion develops into emotion, when the whole creation,
the deeps of space, the minutest beauties of the microscope, cities, armies, passions, splendors, sorrows, will leap out of darkness into the conscious being of thought, when this interwoven net of brief, small sounds will form the center of a web that will hold together in its thread the universe, the All, visible and invisible, material and immaterial, real and imagined, of a human mind."
- H.G. Wells: The Making of Mankind (1903) -
"The main threat to Democracy comes not from the extreme left but from the extreme right, which is able to buy huge sections of the press and radio, and wages a constant campaign to smear and discredit every progressive and humanitarian measure."
- George Seldes: In Fact, (1950) -
"Everyone's worried about stopping terrorism. Well, there's a really easy way: Stop participating in it."
- Noam Chomsky -
"In prisons across the country, phone and visitation rights are being steadily whittled away, making contact with our loved ones and support systems nearly impossible, and causing bitterness and hopelessness to increase dramatically. Our contact with the outside world is diminishing, and there is no serious avenue to report abuses. A major portion of the population is locked up, completely and purposely isolated, so that there can be no public oversight or scrutiny, or even knowledge of how we are treated."
"Democracy must be something more than two wolves and a sheep voting on what to have for dinner."
- James Bovard -
"A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls."
- Dan Quayle -
"A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral."
- Antoine De Saint-Exupery -
"Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible."
- Frank Zappa -
"The Earth says: rejoice! You have been born into a world of self-maintaining abundance and incredible beauty. Feel it, taste it, be amazed by it."
- Donella Meadows -
"I know war as few other men now living know it, and nothing to me is more revolting. I have long advocated its complete abolition, as its very destructiveness on both friend and foe has rendered it useless as a method of settling international disputes."
- Ernest Hemingway -
"Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much of life. So aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something."
- Thoreau -
"Know this, O good man:
evil things are difficult to control.
Let not greed and wickedness
drag you to protracted misery."
- Buddha -
"The opposite of a great truth is another great truth... plus sales tax."
- Shockwave: You, the Jury -
"Power at its best is love implementing the demands of justice. Justice at its best is love correcting everything that stands against love."
- Martin Luther King -
"We who lived in concentration camps can remember the men who walked through the huts comforting others, giving away their last piece of bread. They may have been few in number, but they offer sufficient proof that everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of the human freedoms -- to choose one's attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one's own way."
- Viktor Frankl -
"Pentagon officials anticipate a mobilization of the National Guard and Reserves equal to or larger than the 265,000 called to active duty in the first Gulf War. Most of these troops are expected to be deployed in the United States."
- Jack Rain -
"The Republicans now hold the U.S. Senate by virtue of two plane crashes."
- Harvey Wasserman -
"If God had meant us to vote, he would have given us candidates."
- Jim Hightower -
"When a Republican runs against a Republican, the Republican always wins."
- Harry Truman -
"The election in Georgia said it all. The Democrat governor, Roy Barnes, had dared to remove the Confederate symbol from the state flag last year. His Republican challenger wanted to bring it back, to honor, he said, 300,000 Confederate 'veterans'. A Republican has not occupied Georgia's governor's mansion since 1872. After last Tuesday, one does, courtesy of wanting to celebrate a civil war fought to defend slavery."
"This election was a victory for The Frightened Rich...who feel that the experiment of Democracy has gone far enough, and now they are content to retreat behind walls of money."
- Lewis Lapham, Editor, Harper's -
"The administration says the American people want tax cuts. Well, duh. The American people also want drive through nickel beer night. The American people want to lose weight by eating ice cream. The American people love the Home Shopping Network because it's commercial free."
"The events of 9/11 have less in common with Pearl Harbor and more in common with the Kennedy assassination in that the cover-up is so complete that we'll never know what happened. Ever."
- Andre Hakim -
"To understand the heart and mind of a person, look not at what he has already achieved, but at what he aspires to."
- Kahlil Gibran -
"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, we will pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, oppose any foe, support any friend, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty."
- John F. Kennedy -
"Frisbeetarianism is the philosophy that when you die, your soul goes up on a roof and gets stuck."
- George Carlin -
"Facts are stupid things."
- Ronald Reagan -
"Reality fails to interest me."
- Joseph von Sternberg -
"All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed, second it is violently opposed, and third, it is accepted as self-evident."
- Arthur Schopenhauer -
"I do not need to explain why I say things - that's the interesting thing about being a president - Maybe someone needs to explain to me why they say something, but I don't feel like I owe anybody an explanation"
- George W. Bush on 60 Minutes -
"We've been putting out fire with gasoline."
- David Bowie -
"Sometimes I want to stop and crawl back into the womb
Sometimes I cannot tell wrong from right
But I ain't gonna quit until I'm laid in my tomb
And even then they better shut it tight."
- T-Bone Burnett -
QUIZ FROM HELL
The proper response when a madman says "Just like you kill us, we will kill you" is...
a) back off
b) go ahead and kill some of them and take no responsibility when they go ahead and kill some of you.
If the United States of America completely withdrew from Iraq, stopped all flyovers, and completely ignored the embargo, Iraq's response would be to...
a) immediately attack the United States of America.
b) celebrate their new freedom and praise the United States of America.
Would a) or b) make the United States of America more safe?
There's only one word for Americans who are willing to give up the lives of their sons and daughters for World War W.
a) Patriotic
b) Gullible
Here's an excerpt from
the Nuremburg Code. See how many infractions the U.S. is currently guilty of.
SITES FROM HELL
Mandatory reading: I really hate to say it, but this very well documented article,
Stranger Than Fiction, makes some damn good points in its case for Israeli Zionists being behind the events of 9/11. Like most conspiracy theories, it's a mixture of facts and crap. You've got to sort through the garbage, but a lot of it is hard to dismiss.
Fact: At least four of the nineteen hijackers of 9/11 named by the US government are actually alive and well. Their identities were stolen by the actual hijackers, who remain unknown. The FBI has acknowledged the error but, of course, hasn't fixed it, and the U.S. media has ignored it. The pictures of the men with the hijacked identities are still the ones posted. Big Question: Why would Osama bin Laden, a Saudi, attempt to cover his tracks by stealing the identities of....fellow Saudis? Makes no sense. Really big problem with some of the theory: Why bother crashing planes into the WTCs if they're rigged to be brought down by a controlled demolition, as this article suggests?
Also, 92-year-old Doris "Granny D" Haddock, who walked across the U.S. in 1999-2000 for campaign finance reform, made this
amazing speech to Citizens for Participation in Political Action in Boston, on Sept. 27, 2002.
At
Idealswork, you can find out if the companies that produce the brands you buy: pollute the environment, treat women fairly, discriminate against minorities, support gay and lesbian employees, profit from tobacco, manufacture nuclear weapons, harm animals, support oppressive governments, or use sweatshop labor.
Not to be pessimistic, but
War Times thinks we're headed for disaster.
Here's a great story on the
PR firm that was recently hired by the Pentagon to win over the hearts and minds of Arabs and Muslims worldwide. Do they have another agenda? Well duh.
This site lists all the sites where you can make a free donation to a charity just by clicking on a button.
You can't trust the
vote count anywhere, in any race, in any election.
The Shadow has radical news from Manhattan's lower east side. Lots of great stories.
U.S. news coverage might convince you that Iraq is the war hotspot of the world. Would that it were so. Here's the best site for
world wide war coverage.
Before regime change in Iraq, there's a little bit of
unfinished business between Hussein and W's daddy.
Of course there's going to be WWIII, it's already been
illustrated.
Want to know what's really going on in Afghanistan? You can trust the American press or you can go to the
Afghan News Network.
Don't let this happen to you.
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY archives are
here.
All of Helen's columns are
here.
Dr. Hollywood archives are
here
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form.
Acknowledgment
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown
in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it.
Thanks,
Satan
This newsletter made entirely by slave labor.
Serious Technical Question
I create dIsInFoTaInMeNt Today with Outlook Express in HTML mode. Let's say I turn the word "jerks" into a link to whitehouse.gov, and later, I want to search for that link. "OE search" only searches the TEXT, not the code, so I can find "jerks" but not "whitehouse.gov." How do I search old issues of DT for links, not text?
Many thanks to Michael Dare!
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'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
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Reader Review
Cirque Du Soleil
Over $250 for myself, daughter and 7 and 10-year old granddaughters for the tier below VIP seats for the touring "Dralion" show might seem an extravagance, but we got 8th-row seats to an enchanting show; -- two-plus hours of delight. We caught a Sunday matinee that fit into our various schedules.
My ten-yr-old grandaughter made it clear that she was scared to death of clowns, and wavered under the entrance to the big-top "Chapiteau", until I reminded her of the "Cirque" videos she'd seen at my house, and the IMAX "Son of Man", and the clowns who were simply funny, without all the paint. She, and all, laughed our asses off when the clowns skewered their own "pretentious" acts.
"Dralion" is a magical treat for the senses, from the tippy-toe strength of tiny acrobats doing the deed atop glowing glass spindles, to the fun of several sets of two-person "Dralions" riding a five-foot ball all over the stage. There was, of course, the trademark flying-silk acts, and they were all accompanied by the most beautiful and haunting original music by composer Violaine Corrodi; --- the house musical genius for all the Cirque shows.
Don't let a fork-out of $43 for a t-shirt and CD deter you; -- if you manage one show a year, make this one it...
Cirque Du Soleil Info
Michelle V
Thanks, Michelle. Saw them once a long time ago, in a tent in Santa Monica. We had a great time!
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Reader Comments
Re: The Blasters and friends...
Saw your 'Blasters' plug and wanted to introduce you to another band (if you
don't already know them). Close friends of Dave & Phil Alvin who have played
with them... God's own roots rockin' band 'The Beat Farmers'.
While the leader is deceased (Country Dick Montana-1995) they have recently
regrouped for a few local shows in San Diego. I'm sure it isn't quite the
same w/o Dick aboard, I still wish I could see them again. Also, a few of
the past and present members are playing together as Powerthud. I haven't
heard them, but supposedly they carry on in the tradition of 'The Beat
Farmers'.
Best 'sampler' album: _The Beat Farmers - Loud, Plowed & Live!_
And check out 'The Pleasure Barons', one of Dick's earlier side projects
with Dave Alvin and Mojo Nixon.
www.beatfarmers.com/
http://sdam.com/artists/bf/
The Pleasure Barons
LWP
Skeptical Maine-iac
---
Raconteur Ad Nauseum of Inane Drivel
D.M.V., M.S.G., B.S.O.D.
Thanks, Lee
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Beautiful day, didn't get as much as hoped for accomplished.
Watching sitcoms tonight was struck with the thought that they are mostly populated by homely/dumpy/generally unattractive men with hot/stacked/trim & in-shape/pixie-like babes for wives.
Running late as usual. More eventually.
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS starts the night with a fresh 'JAG', then a fresh 'The Guardian', and then a fresh 'Judging Amy'.
Scheduled on a fresh Dave are Shania Twain, CART auto racing champion Christiano Da Matta, and Heidi Klum.
Scheduled on a fresh Craiggers is Leah Remini.
NBC offers up a fresh 'Just Shoot Me', a fresh 'In-Laws', a fresh 'Frasier', then a fresh 'Hidden Hills', and caps the night with 'Dateline'.
Scheduled on a fresh Jay are Chris Matthews, animal expert Jarod Miller, and David Copperfield.
Scheduled on a fresh Conan are Tyra Banks, Zach Galifiniakis, and H. Keith Melton.
Scheduled on a fresh Carson Daly are John Cleese and Good Charlotte.
ABC starts with a fresh '8 Simple Rules', then a fresh 'Jim', a fresh 'Bonnie', a fresh 'Less Than Perfect', and then a fresh 'NYPD Blue'.
The WB offers a fresh 'Gilmore Girls' and a fresh 'Smallville'.
Faux starts the night with a fresh 'That 70's Show', then follows it with a RERUN 'That 70's Show', followed by a fresh '24' (Day 2: 11am - noon).
UPN has a fresh 'Buffy' followed by a RERUN 'Girlfriends' and a RERUN 'Half & Half'.
TCM celebrates 'Spaghetti Westerns' with 4 of the best by Sergio Leone. The first 3 star
Clint Eastwood, as a man with no name (but he really was named 'Joe'), and the 4th has Henry Fonda as a very, very bad man.
First up is A Fistful of Dollars - [Per un pugno di dollari] (1964), then
For a Few Dollars More - [Per qualche dollaro in più] (1965), followed by
The Good, the Bad and the Ugly - [Il Buono, il brutto, il cattivo] (1966) and topping the night is
Once Upon a Time in the West - [C'era una volta il West] (1968).
Woo Hoo! Che bella!
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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'U.N. Messenger of Peace'
Muhammad Ali
American boxing legend Muhammad Ali, top, attends a class with Afghan children during his visit to a girl's school in Kabul, Monday, Nov. 18, 2002. Ali,
who was named 'U.N. Messenger of Peace' in 1998, arrived in Kabul Sunday on a three-day mission in the war-ravaged country.
Photo by Vincent Thian
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#5
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Pays Tribute to Mom, France
Caroline Kennedy
Caroline Kennedy, speaking flawless French, paid tribute to her mother and the city of Paris on Monday, saying Jacqueline Kennedy's elan and trendsetting flair were born of the French capital.
Years before becoming first lady and the queen of Camelot, the young Jacqueline Bouvier studied French art and literature at the Sorbonne. In Paris, family members said, she refined the
tastes that made her America's icon of elegance.
Caroline Kennedy, accompanied by her uncle, Massachusetts Democrat Sen. Edward Kennedy, traveled to Paris to celebrate the opening of "Jacqueline Kennedy: The White House Years — Selections
From the John F. Kennedy Library and Museum."
The exhibit opens Tuesday in Paris, the only overseas stop after its U.S. tour. It runs through March 16 at the Musee de la Mode et du Textile — a part of the Louvre complex.
When she accompanied President John F. Kennedy to Paris in 1961, Jacqueline Kennedy won the hearts of the French and left a lasting impression on then-President Charles de Gaulle.
It was during the 1961 Paris trip and the outpouring of affection for the first lady that President Kennedy famously began a press conference by saying he felt the need to introduce
himself as "the man who accompanied Jacqueline Kennedy to Paris."
Caroline Kennedy
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Posthumous Album Released
George Harrison
The album ex-Beatle George Harrison recorded in the last months of his life as he fought a losing battle with cancer was released on Monday his recording company said.
"Brainwashed," the first release of new solo material from the Beatles's former lead guitarist since his 1987 album "Cloud Nine," features 11 new Harrison compositions and a cover of "Between The Devil And The Deep Blue Sea."
The record was produced by Harrison in collaboration with his son, Dhani, and longtime friend and fellow musician Jeff Lynne. Put out by Harrison's own Dark Horse label in conjunction with EMI,
the album will be in record shops from Tuesday.
The first anniversary of Harrison's death is to be marked by an all-star benefit concert -- organized by his wife Olivia and Eric Clapton -- at London's Royal Albert Hall, with Paul McCartney,
Ringo Starr, Lynne, Jools Holland, Joe Brown, Ravi Shankar and Tom Petty all slated to appear.
George Harrison
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Beijing
Matrushka Dolls
Chinese leaders since 1911 are depicted on Russian-made Matrushka dolls in Beijing Wednesday Nov. 13, 2002. Chinese President Jiang Zemin, center, is flanked by communist founder
Mao Zedong, right, and paramount leader Deng Xiaoping, left, as well as first president of the republic of China Sun Yet-sen, bottom left, and Nationalist leader Chiang Kai-shek,
bottom right. A new generation is expected to come to power when Jiang hands leadership of the Communist Party to Vice President Hu Jintao at the endof the Communist Party's 16th National Congress Thursday.
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Guests on 'The Practice'
Alfre Woodard
Veteran actress Alfre Woodard will return to the small screen for an upcoming guest-star turn on ABC drama "The Practice."
Woodard will join the David E. Kelley legal drama for two episodes as a death-row inmate whose execution is imminent. They are scheduled to run after the first of the year.
Woodard will be seen in the upcoming ABC miniseries " A Wrinkle in Time," as well as Showtime TV movie "Mister and Me" and features "Radio" and "The Core." She also lends her voice to the
upcoming "The Wild Thornberrys" feature.
Alfre Woodard
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Quest for New Talent
Kevin Spacey
In "Pay it Forward," Oscar-winning actor Kevin Spacey played a teacher who challenged his students to act on simple ideas to change the world.
Now Spacey himself is trying to do just that, using the Internet to open Hollywood to new talent.
In setting up his Web site, TriggerStreet.com, Spacey has found backing from beer maker Anheuser-Busch Cos. Inc. , software maker RealNetworks Inc. and Web portal Yahoo Inc.
The sponsored site aims to let screenwriters and filmmakers share and critique each other's short films, giving them a wider audience than they could reach otherwise.
Other Hollywood heavyweights have also tried to mine the Internet for undiscovered talent, but with limited success.
Director Francis Ford Coppola has a virtual studio called Zoetrope.com, while actor buddies Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have put their names behind Project Greenlight, another
online forum that hosts contests for potential feature films.
TriggerStreet.com plans to sponsor a short-film festival 10 times a year, with the top 10 short films on the site reviewed by celebrities such as Bono, Myers, Annette Benning and Danny DeVito.
Kevin Spacey
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Judge Orders Children Returned
Paula Poundstone
A judge has ordered that three adopted children taken away from comic Paula Poundstone 17 months ago be returned to her custody, but her lawyer said on Monday it may be weeks before that happens.
Superior Court Judge Bernard Kamins ruled on Friday that Poundstone, 42, had established an exemplary record during her probation for child endangerment and deserved to regain custody of her children, who have been living in foster
homes and limited to supervised visits with their adopted mother. The children, two girls and a boy, range in age from 4 to 11.
But Poundstone's lawyer, Richard Pfeiffer, said the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services has yet to relinquish custody of the children due to conflicting orders from two other courts.
He said social workers overseeing Poundstone's case for the Children and Family Services Department presumably were waiting for jurisdictional questions to be resolved before acting on Judge Kamins' order. The lawyer said it could
be "a day or two or it could be a week or two," before the matter was resolved.
Paula Poundstone
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Russian Police Recover Historic Books
Isaac Newton
Russian police said on Monday they had recovered two stolen first editions of the 1687 Isaac Newton book which first described his eponymous law on gravity and revolutionized science.
The works, supposedly inspired by an apple falling on the English physicist's head, were stolen from two St Petersburg libraries earlier this month.
A gang from Saratov, on the Volga River south of Moscow, stole four antique books, including the copies of Newton's Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica on November 6.
"All the books stolen in St Petersburg have been recovered. We have arrested the suspected thieves," said a police spokesman in St Petersburg.
The Principia is considered one of the most important single works in the history of modern science, and includes Newton's three laws of motion -- the basis of classical
mechanics -- as well as universal gravitation.
Isaac Newton
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In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
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Bad Press Will Pass
Paul McCartney
Paul McCartney says he believes the bad press his wife, Heather Mills, has been getting will pass once his fans get used to the couple being married.
"All you've got to do is think back to Linda," McCartney told TV Guide for its Nov. 23 issue, referring to his first wife, who died of cancer in 1998. "Linda got rubbished in the
first year or so. And then she was established and people got over it. It's a bit par for the course."
In the TV Guide interview, McCartney also talked about the exuberant reaction he still gets from concertgoers at the age of 60.
"The older people scream because they remember screaming," he says. "And younger girls have seen it on films, so it's like a tradition."
Paul McCartney
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Calcutta, India
Flower Garlands
An Indian farmer takes a break atop garlands at a flower wholesale market in the eastern city of Calcutta on November 18, 2002. The flowers are bought for religious occasions
and home decoration, with the petals being purchased for between 5-10 rupees (10-20 cents) a kilogram (2.2 lbs).
Photo by Jayanta Shaw
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Baby News
Taylor Hanson
The middle brother of the pop singing trio Hanson has become a father.
Taylor Hanson, 19, and his wife Natalie Anne Bryant, 18, became parents Oct. 31.
Bryant gave birth to Jordan Ezra on Halloween morning.
Hanson married Bryant, his girlfriend of two years, in June at a private ceremony in Pine Mountain, Ga.
Taylor Hanson
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No Hit for Listeners-Report
Radio Deregulation
Relaxed federal oversight of the radio dial may have helped a few big broadcasters make sweet music over the past few years, but the listening public has heard mostly
static, according to a report released on Monday.
Six years after a landmark deregulation law lifted ownership limits on radio stations, airwaves in many cities are dominated by a few media behemoths that offer little
in the way of variety or local content, the Future of Music Coalition found.
While deregulation has allowed companies like Clear Channel Communications Inc. to buy up struggling radio stations across the country, the new owners have often pursued
profitability by slashing costs, rather than seeking to lure listeners with unique content.
As a result, local airwaves are often dominated by a handful of companies that offer a portfolio of similar-sounding radio stations, the think tank said.
The coalition analyzed industry data and surveyed 500 randomly chosen radio listeners for its report.
What it found was an industry that has consolidated significantly over the past decade to questionable public benefit.
For more - Radio Deregulation
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Leaving 'The View'
Lisa Ling
The youngest of the five women on "The View" is leaving for a new job.
Lisa Ling is quitting the daytime talk show to move to Washington, D.C., and become an international reporter for National Geographic Television and Film. Her last show will be Dec. 5
Ling, 29, was an international reporter for Channel One News before being selected for "The View" three years ago. She said Monday that she wanted to try reporting again.
Walters said she recalls telling Ling when she started at "The View" to work on the show for two or three years, then get back into reporting.
"Unfortunately, she took our advice," Walters said.
Lisa Ling
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BartCop TV!
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'Humiliated' By Playgirl
Jose Solano Jr.
A former "Baywatch" television actor will be allowed to pursue his lawsuit against Playgirl magazine for creating the false impression that he appeared nude inside its January 1999 issue.
Without comment, the U.S. Supreme Court on Monday rejected the women's magazine's appeal of a federal appeals court ruling that reinstated the lawsuit by actor Jose Solano Jr., who
was featured on the magazine's January 1999 cover under the headline, "Prime Time's Sexy Young Stars Exposed."
The San Francisco-based appeals court had reversed a federal judge's ruling that Solano had failed to show that Playgirl knowingly created a false impression about what readers would see of him inside the magazine.
Solano sued Playgirl, alleging it invaded his privacy by portraying him in a false light and misappropriating his likeness.
He claimed he was humiliated and embarrassed when he learned of his photograph on the cover and that his career suffered.
Solano's sole appearance inside the magazine was on page 21, where a quarter-page, head-and-shoulders photograph showed him fully dressed in a shirt and sweater. There also was a brief, quarter-page profile of the actor.
Jose Solano Jr.
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Comdex Convention
Bill Gates
Bill Gates, chairman and chief software architect of Microsoft, looks at new smart personal object technology (SPOT) devices Sunday, Nov. 17, 2002, in Las Vegas, during his keynote
address to open the Comdex convention. The new devices include wireless refrigerator magnets that tell time and give sports scores.
Photo by Joe Cavaretta
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Showing Up in Winter
Hummingbirds
Mention birds this time of year and most people will picture something roasted on a silver platter, surrounded by stuffing and mashed potatoes.
But for people along the East Coast who prefer to see birds that still have some flap in their wings, autumn is a time to keep the eyes peeled for the pocket-sized featherweight
of the avian world: the hummingbird.
The United States is home to 16 of the more than 320 known species of hummingbirds, which travel more than 4,000 miles in their roundtrip migratory treks. The rufous hummingbird from
the Pacific Northwest accounts for a large number of the East Coast winter sightings.
Public fascination with hummingbirds, which are found only in the Americas, isn't hard to understand. What other birds can hover, fly backward, sideways or even upside down while beating their wings at up
to 3,000 times a minute and flashing rainbows of iridescent colors?
The tiny birds - the smallest, the 2-inch-long Cuban Bee, weighs in at seven one-hundredths of an ounce - also are fearless.
For a lot more - Hummingbirds
Hummingbird Society
U.S.G.S. Bird Banding Laboratory
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Workshop Sued
Stradivarius Lost
The owner of a missing 288-year-old violin made by master craftsman Antonio Stradivari during his "Golden Period" is suing the New York-based workshop that lost the instrument.
Dallas-based Cremona Society Limited says Christophe Landon, whose workshop restores, builds and sells string instruments, was negligent in losing one of about 650 Stradivarius
violins surviving today.
Landon, who took possession of the violin in February in hopes of finding a buyer, told police he last saw it in April, when he left it with a client in a room at his Upper West
Side shop. He discovered it missing two days later.
The Cremona Society acquires and makes fine classical instruments available, by loan or sale, to musicians who typically can't afford them. The society's founder, Dallas investor
and telecom entrepreneur Barrett Wissman, said he wants damages equal to the violin's replacement value, possibly as much as $4 million.
Landon said a $1.9 million insurance payment to Cremona in July is sufficient. He said Wissman is "trying to take advantage of a situation that's already tragic."
Stradivarius Lost
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In Memory
James Coburn
Oscar-winning actor James Coburn, famed for his action roles and poignant characterizations in a career spanning more than 40 years, died of a heart attack on Monday, his manager said. He was 74.
Coburn had been listening to music at his Beverly Hills home with his wife, when he was struck by a massive coronary about 4:30 p.m. PST, said his manager, Hillard Elkins. He was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, where he was pronounced dead.
"He died happy," Elkins told Reuters.
Although the tall, bearded actor starred in many memorable films including his 1960 breakthrough "The Magnificent Seven" and the 1966 spy spoof "Our Man Flint," he never secured a career-defining role until the 1998 drama "Affliction."
That film, directed by Paul Schrader, won Coburn an Academy Award for his supporting role as an alcoholic, abusive father to Nick Nolte and Willem Dafoe. Despite his macho swagger, Coburn said his character was "the antithesis of who I am."
He can currently be seen in North American theaters playing a terminally ill novelist in "The Man From Elysian Fields," an independent movie starring Andy Garcia and Mick Jagger.
Earlier this year, he co-starred opposite Cuba Gooding Jr. in the surprise hit "Snow Dogs." Plans were afoot for them to reunite in a sequel next year. Last year, he lent his rich voice to a character in the hit cartoon "Monsters, Inc.," and in 1999 he starred opposite Mel Gibson in "Payback."
His comeback was all the sweeter after a 15-year battle with rheumatoid arthritis that threatened to end his career during the 1980s.
Born in Laurel, Neb., on Aug. 31, 1928, Coburn was raised in Depression-era Los Angeles. He studied acting at Los Angeles City College and the University of Southern California, and then moved to New York to study with Stella Adler.
He landed his first feature roles in two 1959 westerns, "Ride Lonesome" and "Face of a Fugitive." The following year, he was cast as one of "The Magnificent Seven," from which he got work with co-star Steve McQueen in "Hell Is for Heroes" in 1962 and the popular "The Great Escape" in 1963.
Coburn was propelled to leading man status as suave superspy Derek Flint in "Our Man Flint," for which he received just $75,000. The 1967 sequel "In Like Flint" was also successful. The pair were recently released on DVD. By the time of his 1967 political satire "The President's Analyst," he was getting $450,000 a film.
Coburn endured several missteps along the way, including Blake Edwards' 1966 "What Did You Do in the War, Daddy" and Sidney Lumet's "Last of the Mobile Hot-Shots" (1969). Unable to find work in 1970, he went to Europe, where he appeared in Sergio Leone's "Duck You Sucker" and "A Fistful of Dynamite."
Two of his favorite films were the 1973 Western "Pat Garrett (news) and Billy the Kid" and the 1977 World War II movie, "Cross of Iron," both of which were directed by Sam Peckinpah.
Coburn also worked in TV, on such diverse projects as the 1981 movie "Valley of the Dolls" and HBO's "The Second Civil War." At the time of his death, he was perusing four or five scripts, Elkins said.
He is survived by his wife, Paula, two children, Lisa and James Jr., and two grandchildren. Coburn and his wife last month put their five-story home on the market for $5.9 million with plans to downsize and travel.
James Coburn
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Waiting In Line
Madonna
Madonna, right, waits in line to meet Britain's Queen Elizabeth at the world premiere of the latest Bond film 'Die Another Day' at the Royal Albert Hall,
London, Monday Nov.18, 2002.
Photo by Dan Chung
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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#1
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Welcome !
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