Bartcop Entertainment - Tuesday, 30 July, 2002
Tuesday
30 July, 2002
(Updated Daily)
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Issue #13
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
"Not Affiliated in Any Way!"
ISSUE #13
is brought to you by
PEDERAST PETE
Sesame Street's new
HIV positive Muppet
A Letter from Tom Robbins
Thanks to all the German speakers among you, we now know that in last
week's letter, Tom Robbins said "Ich bin krank," which means "I am sick." A free breakfast at the "Amnesty International House of Pancakes" for all who answered correctly. (Try the banana republic waffles, they're to die for, or the Darryl Strawberry crepes and sign the petition to have him pardoned.}
BELIEVE IT OR ELSE
Good Thing?/Bad Thing?
HR2592, the
States' Rights to Medical Marijuana Act, amends federal law so that states that wish to permit the legal use of marijuana as a medicine for seriously ill patients may do so, without interference from the federal government.
Okay, I'm ambivalent about this because if you smoke the same pot and you're not seriously ill, you still go straight to jail.
If you admit you drink beer, people don't automatically assume you're an alcoholic, but for some reason when you admit you smoke pot, people automatically assume you're a pothead. Ain't so. I drink beer and smoke pot recreationally. I'm not addicted, easily go months without either, and only use them when appropriate. (Please don't tell me you watch Adam Sandler movies straight) Anyone who wants to call me an alcoholic or a pothead can go fuck themselves.
Now imagine you're a dark-skinned black man in the south in the '60s. There's a law stating black people have to sit at the back of the bus. Now imagine that a law is passed allowing light-skinned black people to sit wherever they want. Even though all your light-skinned black friends were saying "Hey, chill out, it's a step in the right direction, don't worry, you're next," you'd still think the new law was ludicrous because it continued to allow bus drivers to judge people by the color of their skin. YOU still had to sit at the back of the bus.
That's how I feel about HR2592. An unjust law is being fixed in such a way that it has no effect upon ME whatsoever. I can still go to jail for getting myself in the mood to watch Adam Sandler. Obviously I'm not selfish enough to stand in the way of sick people getting their medicine, so I'm for HR2592, conditionally. It's still bad
law. Marijuana should be legal for absolutely any adult, even if all that's sick about them is their sense of humor.
Best Reason to Go Fishing
Stopping Anesthetics and Pain Killers by Poisoning the Planet
The Colombian government has announced that on July 28, 2002, it will begin a
massive campaign of aerial spraying of illicit coca plants in the southern Colombian state of Putumayo. Spray campaigns in Colombia, which use glyphosate-based herbicides, have caused widespread damage to crops, ecosystems and human health. The campaigns are supposed to target large producers of coca and opium poppy (the raw materials for cocaine and heroin), but the main victims are small farmers and indigenous communities.
Download of the Week
Map of the Week
After the melting of the polar caps,
worldwide earthquakes on all continents,
the eruption of the Ring Of Fire,
here are the continents of the New Millennium
at least according to
this wack job.
She Still Won't Fuck You
Jennifer Lopez is filing for divorce.
Only in America
As rescuers worked to save nine miners trapped in a Pennsylvania coal mine, other rescuers were working to save nine minors trapped in a confessional in New Jersey.
Mail Bag
Paul Croft forwarded issue 11 to someone in Switzerland and got the following reply:
Hi Paul
Just wanted to say I really liked the piece on US foreign policy.
It's dead on about making the US more and more unpopular. I live in Switzerland, and I have never in my life (47 years) known the European popular opinion to be so anti-American. Clinton was pretty popular here despite his faults, but Bush is probably the least popular president ever. His new plans for an informant in every neighborhood take the US one step further to being one of those totalitarian states that are either despised or supported depending on how it fits foreign policy. Or are they Bush's plans at all? A common opinion here is that he is not over-endowed with intelligence, and is just a puppet...
John
OBL Watch
Number of days since 9/11 that Osama bin Laden has not been found - 316.
Dear Dr. Hollywood,
I've got a great idea for a movie that I know would be successful. Unfortunately, I don't know how to write a script. Any chance you'd co-write it with me in exchange for a piece of it?
Thanks,
Rudy
Dear Rudy,
Thank you for braving time and space to contact me.
Sometimes I sit down to write something that I'm getting paid for. Those are good times, and I always try to satisfy the assignment as creatively as possible.
Sometimes I sit down to write something that I'm not getting paid for, something like, oh, this letter, or a novel. When that happens, I'm doing it for one of two reasons. a) I've volunteered to help people and I like writing letters because it jumpstarts my real writing by getting those fingers moving, or b) I'm writing something that has sprung from the deepest darkest depths of my dangerously demonic soul, something that can only be expressed through writing my brains out without the slightest consideration of salability, accessibility, or even coherency.
That's it. I don't write for free for any other reasons. The sad fact is no professional writer would do what you ask without pay because that is what we do for a living. Think of us like bricklayers who use words. Try finding someone in construction who will build you a wall for free just because it's a cool wall. They'll tell you the same thing I'm telling you. We don't care how good your idea is because it doesn't make any difference to us. We're laborers who do what we're told. Hell, I'll turn your idea into a screenplay even if it's crap as long as you pay me because that's what I do for a living, and by the time I'm done with it, it will be fantastic, whether it started out as crap or not.
You get the drift. Please don't feel insulted. I know you don't know any better, but people in Hollywood who try to get writers to work for free by offering them a piece of the action are called con artists.
Pay someone or just write it yourself.
WHO'S GOING TO HELL THIS WEEK?
As ex-executive chief in charge of operations for the burning flames of hellfire, Helen's access to eternal contracts is legendary. Who are her sources? Wouldn't you like to know? Sorry, all communications are confidential and the property of Helen A. Handbasket, whose opinions do not necessarily reflect those of this or any other publication.
July 29, 2002
5. Four soldiers at Fort Bragg killed their wives but NBC still won't cancel Friends.
4. Qwest Communications International Inc. expects to restate its earnings for 1999 to 2001 because of accounting errors, including not billing George W. Bush for all those cell phone calls to Saddam Hussein planning out the next mid-east war.
3. Nine tons of dead squid washed ashore in La Jolla, CA, on the same day that Lance Armstrong coasted across the finish line on the Champs-Élysées, winning his fourth consecutive Tour de France. Coincidence? I don't think so.
2. Treasury Secretary Paul O'Neill is pushing Congress to pass President Bush's economic agenda, which includes free lemonade for Hitler, still in the 3rd level of hell.
And the number one person going to hell this week...
1. Zacarias Moussaoui says he's innocent unless innocent means "not guilty" in which case he's guilty.
Personal to Jim: Now there's ice cream in hell.
Personal to Carl: Now there's air conditioning in hell.
ARITHMETIC FROM HELL
LAWSUITS FROM HELL
A black family is
suing Pizza Hut because they were refused service. Says Pizza Hut: "We were out of cheese."
LEGISLATION FROM HELL
George W. Bush pushed a bill that gives the dictator, oops, president
power to make trade deals that Congress can only ratify or reject, not change.
CARTOON FROM HELL
QUIZ FROM HELL
As the last national election proved, we're not a democracy, but are we a communist state? Check off all that apply...
The Communist Manifesto
1. Abolition of private property
2. Heavy progressive income tax
3. Abolition of all rights on inheritance
4. Confiscation of property of all emigrants and rebels
5. Central bank
6. Government control of Communications and Transportation
7. Government ownership of factories and agriculture
8. Government control of labor
9. Corporate farms, regional planning
10. Government control of education.
QUESTION FROM HELL
"If pro and con are opposites, is progress the opposite of congress?"
- Paul Harvey -
HISTORY LESSON FROM HELL
George W's great-great uncle
standing on the gallows platform
about to be hung for bank robbery and stock fraud
in Connecticut in 1899.
In the past 10 years, the Securities and Exchange Commission has turned 609 of its most offensive offenders over to the Justice Department for potential criminal prosecution. Of those, only 187 ended up facing criminal charges. And of those,
only 87 went to jail.
AWARD FROM HELL
QUOTES
FROM HELL
"How dare you print my letter last week without permission! Remove it immediately."
- Connie Lingus -
"Changing my name doesn't solve the problem, you bastard. Take down the letter of mine you printed last week!"
- Dick Head -
"All right, I've had enough of this. You do not have permission to use this letter in your rag, no matter what name you use."
- Cardinal Richelieu -
"I am equally disturbed when you take my words without asking as I would be to find my neighbor rummaging through my garage."
- John Gotti -
"Satan is a brilliant writer - you are lucky he even pays attention to you."
- Martha Stewart -
" "
- Helen Keller -
"I would be happy to add to any one of your columns."
- Saddam Hussein -
"Stay out of this, you putz."
- Ariel Sharon -
"People, people, you've got to learn to control your anger."
- OJ -
"No you don't. Beat the living crap out of him."
- Dalai Lama -
"I would say more but I'm afraid you'd quote me with a gag attribution that would turn out to be my real name."
- Keanu Reeves -
"I did not have sex with Keanu Reeves."
- Tom Cruise -
"Yes you did."
- Nicole Kidman -
"Please change my name on that last letter, and keep Bill Clinton away from my cigars."
- Winston Churchill -
"I did not have sex with Tom Cruise."
- Bill Clinton -
"Yes you did."
- Keanu Reeves -
"I am getting kinda annoyed at the pissing contest that is going on here!"
- Billy Bob Thornton -
"That's not what you said on our honeymoon."
- Angelina Jolie -
"Show and tell is over and it's time to get a life."
- Carrot Top -
"Can't we all just behave like civilized people and resolve this in a democratic fashion?"
- George W. Bush -
"You mean the loser gets to be dictator?"
- Al Gore -
"I really hate that you insulted Mr. Bush. He doesn't deserve that from anyone."
- Mai Butt -
"I apologize for this display of aggravation."
- Osama bin Laden -
"This is better than watching professional wrestling!"
- Fay Slift -
"I'm reminded of an episode of The Newhart Show (that's the one where he was a handyman writer who owned an inn in Vermont). He was being sued by another guy who wrote a how-to-be-handy book, who was accusing Bob/Dick of plagiarism. Newhart was on the stand, and asked the judge: "How do you give instructions to 'remove the faucet' without sounding like everyone else? 'Take the faucet; remove it?'".
- Bob Woodward -
"You do not have permission to use that analogy. Take it down immediately!"
- Bob Newhart -
"I did not have sex with Bob Newhart!"
- a goat -
"I can't handle people playing with my emotions like this. I'm a delicate thing."
- Bishop Desmond Tutu -
"I found out that Imogene has stoled my pink sparkled bouffant hairdo and is now wearing a tight red #8 Dale Junior tank top just like me. I think she's after Clyde, but I ain't sure. Clyde said he was my main man, but you never can be too sure when Imogene starts flauntin' her two-bit plastic bitsies under that damned Dale Jr. Budweiser tank top. My floppers are real, I'd send ya a pitcher, but Clyde is awful jealous. Can I copyright my hairdo or should I just whup Imogene's jiggly lard butt?"
- Darlene Sugarwater -
"What the fuck was that?"
- Albert Schweitzer -
"I did not have sex with Albert Schweitzer."
- The guy in those Dell ads -
MONEY LAUNDERING FROM HELL
Halliburton Co. has been awarded a
$9.7 million contract to build an additional 204-cell detention camp at the U.S. naval base at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba to hold additional suspected al Qaeda and Taliban prisoners whose names are being withheld.
SITES FROM HELL
Mandatory reading: A
interview with Joe Conasan. Also,
Bartcop reprints all my columns but that's not the only reason to go.
Okay, I know it's nuts to suggest that UFOs had anything to do with 9/11, and yet there's
this site, entirely in Japanese, with photos and MPGs of the WTCs from new angles, just as they're exploding, and there are flying objects nearby that I sure as hell can't identify.
Actually, those pesky UFOs are showing up all over the place again. Check out
UFO Roundup for the latest. Yee-haa!
This weekend, Earth will enter the outskirts of a cloud of comet debris marking the beginning of the annual
Perseid meteor shower, which peaks on August 12th and 13th. The Perseids are one of the year's best shows.
It's the oldest trick in the book, dating back to Roman times; creating the enemies you need. Read
Fake Terror - The Road to Dictatorship by Michael Rivero.
Just three nights before President George W. Bush arrived at the swank Colony Resort on Longboat Key on the evening of Sept 10, 2001, Mohamed Atta was staying at a slightly-less tony hotel just two miles down the beach, the Holiday Inn Hotel & Suites-Longboat Key, according to eyewitnesses who contacted the FBI in the immediate aftermath of the attack. Read more at
The Mystery of Longboat Key.
Curious about anything legal or political? Here's a great set of
research links.
Recent pronouncements from the Bush Administration, and national security initiatives put in place in the Reagan era, could see
internment camps and martial law in the United States.
Need a laugh? Go
here to find a "Certified Laugh Leader" in your neighborhood.
The U.S. is blocking a
U.N. convention on torture out of fear that it could be interpreted as allowing independent observers to visit U.S. prisons and terrorism suspects being held by the U.S. at its naval base at Guantanamo Bay.
Everything you need to know about the coming
war in Iraq.
Acknowledgement
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY consists of information from dozens of sources, cut up, thrown
in the air, and recycled randomly. It is sent all over the place, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice. If you see a joke, graphic, or news item that came from or through you, thanks, send more, and please accept the fact that much of dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is unacknowledgeable, and if I sought permission from everyone whose bastardized material showed up here, I'd never get anything else done. Please note that I don't even put my own name on it.
Thanks,
Satan
Don't be a pervert.
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY archives are
here.
All of Helen's columns are
here.
Dr. Hollywood archives are
here
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form,
unless you want to
send me to the Bartcop party in Vegas
http://home.earthlink.net/~dare2b
Many thanks to Michael Dare!
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From 'TBH Politoons'
Great Site!
Thanks, again, Tim!
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He's Been Busy, Again!
the worried shrimp
United We Stand
Thanks, tws!
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Reader Contribution
Useful Link
www.getwellsharon.com
Thanks, Peggy!
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In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Another beautiful day. The wind was blowing from the refineries (north) last night, and when that special aroma wafts this way (this time of year), it usually means hot weather.
Told the kid he had to clean up his mess in the living room. He did a pretty good job, but, 'put away' his library book a bit too well. After a couple of interesting hours of searching, found
the book on the counter next to the toilet. ''Oh yeah'' the kid said.
Planning a trip downtown to 'Acre of Books' sometime this week. It's a fabulous old used book store that has more than just an acre's worth of books. Always a fun visit.
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS has the usual 'Trifecta' of reruns - 'JAG', 'The Guardian', and 'Judging Amy'.
Scheduled on a fresh Dave are Joan Rivers and Zooey Deschanel.
Scheduled on a fresh Craiggers are Bebe Neuwirth, Eric Szmanda, and Our Lady Peace.
NBC offers 2 fresh episodes of 'Spy TV', then reruns of 'Frasier' and 'Scrubs', and wraps with 'Dateline'.
Scheduled on a fresh Jay are Bebe Neuwirth, Eric Szmanda, and Our Lady Peace.
On a rerun Conan, the scheduled guests are The Rock, Stone Phillips, and No Doubt.
On a rerun Carson Daly (from 5/23/02), the scheduled guest is Marc Anthony.
ABC starts with 2 reruns of 'Jim', the a fresh 'Mole II: The Next Betrayal', and then a 'special' - 'War On Drugs, A War On Ourselves With John Stossel' (bet at least one sponsor will be selling SUV's during this show).
The WB has reruns of 'Gilmore Girls' and 'Smallville'.
Faux offers reruns of 'That 70's Show' and 'Grounded For Life', then a fresh 'American Idol: The Search For A Superstar'.
UPN has a rerun of 'Buffy' (where a raygun makes her invisible) and then 'Under One Roof'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
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From Alex
Russian Tea Room Closes
Misty-eyed patrons of the Russian Tea Room gorged on Beluga caviar and blinis one final time as they bid dosvedanya last night to the glitzy dining spot in the shadow of Carnegie Hall.
Regulars and rubbernecks filled the opulent dining destination like it was the landmark's salad days.
Patrons sipped vodka while raconteurs reminisced as if they were at a wake.
"The first time I did Carnegie Hall in 1962, where did we go? Here, where else!" said singer Judy Collins, who sauntered through the W. 57th St. restaurant's brass
revolving doors for the final time last night.
The late Warner LeRoy, of Tavern on the Green fame, bought the elegantly shabby Tea Room in 1995 and gave it $20 million worth of renovations that included a tree hung with Murano-glass
Faberge eggs and a 15-foot acrylic bear filled with fish.
But when LeRoy reopened the restaurant in 1999, it never regained its audience.
Business got even worse after LeRoy died suddenly last year.
LeRoy's daughter Jennifer took over, but a plunging economy made it impossible to stay open.
She broke the news to her 170 employees on Friday.
Russian Tea Room Closes
Says Alex:
''It's sad...the place is absolutely amazing...I've eaten there a few times, the food is great, the vodka is even better, and the interior is beautiful!
~~ Alex
Have you visited Alex's Site lately?
Thanks, Alex. The Russian Tea Room was one of the places I always wanted to visit. Reminds me of how sad it was when they closed Chasen's here. What a wonderfully elegant place it was.
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In The Sun
Streakers
Streakers Im The Sun
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60th High School Reunion
Don Knotts
Don Knotts sat at the head table at the 60th reunion of Morgantown High School's Class of 1942, but it wasn't because he was an Emmy-winning actor and star of
one of television's most beloved programs.
Knotts was the senior class president.
The 78-year-old actor, who portrayed bumbling Barney Fife on "The Andy Griffith Show," kept a low profile Saturday as he mingled with about 60 classmates at a local hotel.
"Hey, this doesn't have anything to do with me," said Knotts, whose name tag read simply "Don Knotts, Los Angeles, Calif."
"Everyone here has just managed to stay friends for all these years. That's pretty amazing," he said.
Don Knotts
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Abruptly Walks Off Stage, Ends Tour
Britney Spears
Britney Spears ended her world tour on a controversial note by cutting short her final show in Mexico City on Sunday night, adding insult to injury after she made an obscene gesture upon arrival here last week.
The 20-year-old pop princess sang four songs in the last show of her Pepsi-sponsored world tour, but during the set's fifth song, "Stronger," Spears apologized, saying "I'm sorry Mexico. I love you. Bye," and
left the stage, Mexico City daily Milenio reported.
Boos and jeers rained down on the stage when a public announcement asked fans to leave the Foro Sol stadium. Some concert-goers began throwing pop diva paraphernalia and chanting "fraud, fraud," the newspaper reported.
Concert organizers could not be reached for comment, and it was not immediately clear if another show would be rescheduled or if fans would receive a refund. Mexico City was the last leg of a so-called world
tour in the United States and Canada.
Britney Spears
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Benjamin Jacob Grimm
'The Thing'
Finally, Jewish comic book fans have a hero all their own. The latest issue of "The Fantastic Four" comic book reveals that the angry orange man of stone known
as "The Thing" is a child of Israel. When the 6-foot, 500-pound Marvel menace admits his Hebraic heritage, an arch-villain responds, "You don't look Jewish," reports
the Forward. Created in 1961 by Stan "Spider-Man" Lee and Jack Kirby, The Thing was born Benjamin Jacob Grimm on the Lower East Side.
'The Thing'
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Network 'Premiere Week'
New TV Season
Barring any unforeseen circumstances, the networks will roll out their fall schedules in a more traditional manner this September.
Other than a few stunts -- particularly at ABC, which needs the biggest boost -- and Fox's need to debut around the baseball playoffs, the networks will bow most of their lineups during "premiere week," which kicks off Sept. 23.
Even the so-called "weblets" are getting into the premiere week biz this year. The WB and UPN have generally stayed away from the week, opting to bow their shows as early as August or as late as October.
With UPN now controlled by its Viacom sibling CBS, the network will instead premiere every night except Wednesday this premiere week, while the WB will return some of its series, including "Gilmore
Girls," "Smallville" and "Charmed," during the week as well. Other entries, such as WB frosh drama "Everwood," will come just a week early.
As for ABC, the network hopes to protect the launch of new skeins "8 Simple Rules," "Life With Bonnie" and "Push, Nevada" by giving all three entries early and stunted bows.
"Push, Nevada," in particular, due to its tough regular slot opposite "CSI: Crime Scene Investigation" and "Will & Grace," will get multiple exposure in the season's early weeks.
"8 Simple Rules" bows Tuesday, Sept. 17, at 8 p.m. (its normal slot), followed by the launch of "Life With Bonnie" at 8:30 p.m. (half an hour earlier than normal) and a special premiere of "Push" at 9 p.m.
That following Tuesday, during premiere week, "Bonnie" stays in that temporary 8:30 p.m. slot, keeping it away from the premiere of "Frasier." "Bonnie" moves to 9 p. m. on Oct. 1, when "Less
Than Perfect" premieres at 9:30 p.m. and "According to Jim" returns at 8:30 p.m.
"Push," meanwhile, repeats its premiere episode that Thursday, Sept. 19, at 8 p.m., followed by episode two in its normal slot at 9 p.m. ABC will continue with that formula -- repeat at
8 p.m., original at 9 p.m. -- through Oct. 3, until "Dinotopia" premieres on Oct. 10 at 8 p. m.
"Dinotopia" won't be available until then due to production issues. Also, as previously announced, "Monday Night Football," " Drew Carey" and "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" are back Sept. 9.
As for Wednesday, most of the schedule (save "George Lopez") bows on Sept. 25; "Lopez" is back the next week. ABC's Friday (including new drama "That Was Then"), Saturday and Sunday
schedules are back on premiere week.
New TV Season
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Oldest Piece in Europe?
Chess Piece
An ivory chessman, photographed July 28, 2002, believed to be the oldest piece in Europe, was found two weeks ago in the ancient southern Albanian city of Butrint
in Sarande some 300 km from Tirana. The find suggests the game that originated in India in the fourth or fifth centuries, was played in Mediterranean countries 500
years earlier that it was previously thought to have arrived on the European continent. The 4-cm-high ivory piece, which was found by local archaeologists led by a
Richard Hodges, a British professor, has a little cross and is either a king or a queen.
Photo by Arben Celi
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Auction Marks 40th Anniversary
Marilyn Monroe
A London auction house is to mark the 40th anniversary of Marilyn Monroe's death with a sale Tuesday of memorabilia, including a collection of personalized jewelry.
Monroe, famous for films such as "Some Like It Hot" and "Gentlemen Prefer Blondes," died on August 5, 1962, at the age of 36.
Cooper Owen auctioneers said Monday they expected the jewelry -- including a diamante ring initialed "M" -- to raise at least 4,000 pounds ($6,250).
A silk Pucci dress worn by the actress could fetch around 3,000 pounds.
As well as Monroe memorabilia, Tuesday's auction -- entitled "At The Movies" -- will sell mementos from films such as "Get Carter" and "Enter the Dragon."
A pilot seat from "Star Wars Episode 1 -- the Phantom Menace" is expected to sell for at least 2,000 pounds.
Marilyn Monroe
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In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
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Baby News
Claudia Schiffer
German supermodel Claudia Schiffer is pregnant with her first child, three months after marrying British film producer Matthew Vaughn in a lavish English country wedding,
her London spokeswoman said on Monday.
The spokeswoman would not give any further details, or say exactly how far through the pregnancy Schiffer was.
The couple married on May 25 at an English country church near Coldham Hall, their Elizabethan manor house in the picturesque village of Lawshall in Suffolk, eastern England.
The supermodel has earned an estimated $55 million fortune from 15 years at the top of the modelling business while Vaughn is also a multi-millionaire, producing such
hit films as "Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels." Her spokeswoman said the couple, who live in England, were currently in Los Angeles on business.
Claudia Schiffer
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Shibushi Bay, Japan
Co-Op Ventureran
The 36,080-tonne Panamanian-registered freighter Co-Op Ventureran breaks into two pieces after being caught in a typhoon in Shibushi Bay, Japan July 26, 2002.
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Returned to Canada
'Clones' Pirates
Two men accused of trying to sell a stolen copy of "Star Wars: Episode II — Attack of the Clones" on eBay were returned to their native Canada after each paid about $3,100 in fines.
Amer Khawaj, 21, and Inderpreet Grewal, 20, both of Etobicoke, Ontario, pleaded no contest last month to receiving and concealing stolen property.
Wayne County Circuit Judge William Leo Cahalan sentenced them last week to a year in jail, but said they could be released upon payment of $750 restitution in U.S. funds and $4,000 in fines
in Canadian funds, or about $2,400 in U.S. dollars, Assistant Prosecutor Rebecca Tenorio said.
Both men paid the fines and restitution Wednesday and were turned over to the U.S. Border Patrol, which escorted them to the Michigan-Ontario border, a Wayne County Jail officer said Friday.
Khawaj and Grewal were accused of stealing two canisters containing reels of the film from a Woodbridge, Ontario, movie theater. Authorities say they tried to sell the reels on
the eBay Internet auction site for $3,000.
'Clones' Pirates
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BartCop TV!
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Disney Loses Case
'Home Improvement'
A Superior Court jury awarded $14.9 million to a talent agency that claimed The Walt Disney Co. underpaid commissions to the creator of the ABC Television sitcom "Home Improvement."
After a two-week trial, the jury found by a vote of 11-1 last week that Disney failed to pay agreed-upon commissions after the series, which starred Tim Allen, became a hit.
The Agency for the Performing Arts represented the show's creator, Matt Williams. "Home Improvement" aired on ABC from 1991-99.
If the verdict stands, Disney would share liability with several profit participants and the company itself would be liable for only 22 percent of the award, according to
Disney sources familiar with the matter.
'Home Improvement'
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National Radio Astronomy Observatory
Green Bank
A bus parked nearby gives an idea of the size of the newest instrument at Green Bank: a radio telescope so massive the Statue of Liberty, including the pedestal, could lie down on its blindingly white observing surface with room
to spare. Its 43-story height and 16 million pounds of tilting, turning mass make it the largest thing on land that moves. Welcome to the National Radio Quiet Zone. Feel free to shout, play the tuba or let out a primal scream. Just
don't think about using a microwave oven. One stray zap from a microwave -- or a car's sparkplugs, or even an electric blanket -- in the heart of the 13,000 square mile zone could interfere with science at the National Radio Astronomy
Observatory at Green Bank, a patch of forested Appalachia just west of the Virginia border.
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Jenna's Boyfriend From Last Summer
Brandon Davis
Brandon Davis, the dice-playing grandson of Beverly Hills billionaire Marvin Davis, seems to keep rolling snake eyes.
A source tells says that the 21-year-old party boy refuses to settle an $80,000 debt he ran up during the L.A. Lakers NBA playoff run. The mole says Brandon Davis did
not ask his megarich family for the money, instead getting a loan from his friend Steve Fischer.
Months later, the story goes, Davis has yet to fork over the cash. And Fischer has been bombarding him with legal letters demanding payment.
But Davis - who swears he knows when to hold 'em and knows when to fold 'em - says he's the subject of a vicious smear campaign.
Rumor has it that Davis hit up high-profile pals Mark McGrath, the Sugar Ray singer, and Tom Arnold - who is Davis' Alcoholics Anonymous "sobriety coach" - for the
cash before going to Fischer.
For a bit more, Brandon Davis
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Jamaican Court Seeks Arrest
Ja Rule
A Jamaican court issued an arrest warrant Monday for American rapper Ja Rule when he failed to appear on charges of using profanity during a concert last year.
The 21-year-old Ja Rule, whose real name is Jeff Atkins, was in Jamaica this weekend to perform Saturday night at the same music festival — Jamaica's Reggae Sumfest.
He was served Sunday with a summons to appear in court Monday, but he failed to show, prompting Judge Wilson Smith to order the arrest warrant.
Ja Rule was among eight entertainers charged for foul language after last year's Summer festival, including Grammy winner Beenieman, who also has yet to appear in court.
They face a maximum charge of $20 if convicted.
Ja Rule
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Dawn Diving
Roberto Cercelletta
Every day thousands of tourists throw coins into Rome's famed Trevi fountain and make a wish to return to the eternal city.
And every day, Roberto Cercelletta returns to the fountain and makes a small fortune out of the eternal tourists.
In fact, Romans were shocked to discover this week that Cercelletta, who is homeless and says he is certifiably mad, is raking in -- quite literally -- up to 600 euros (dollars) a week.
In the early hours, six days out of seven since 1968, Cercelletta has plunged into the water at Neptune's feet and used a small rake to pull in fistfuls of small change -- first lire,
now cents, as well as foreign coppers and nickels.
Since a 1994 high court decision ruled that taking coins out of the fountain was no more illegal than throwing them in, the only thing Cercelletta really does wrong is jump in the water.
Police, who are on duty at the fountain 24 hours a day, say they stop him almost every day for that and issue him with the standard fine of 516 euros. But because he is homeless
and unemployed, he gets away without paying.
Roberto Cercelletta
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France
'Zorse'
Un bébé "zorse" est né mercredi de l'union d'un zèbre avec une jument double poney, dans le parc animalier privé d'un agriculteur de Cuchery (Marne), près de Reims, a-t-on appris vendredi auprès du propriétaire.
Photo by François Nascimbeni
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'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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