~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Issue #10
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
Dear Elroy,It stays hard, of course. After all, the penis is a muscle. Sex exercises that muscle. Right after orgasm, a man's penis should be as hard and firm as ever and ready for another round.Satan
Dear anonymous,Not enough personality.Satan
Dear Irene,Move to Hawaii but stop first in the Philippines and SELL your baby rather than aborting it. It'll pay for the whole trip.Satan
Dear Ernest,Invest it in the stock market, of course.Satan
Dear Oliver,Stick a feather duster up your ass and run around the room polishing the furniture.Satan
Dear Polly,Yes.Satan
Dear Dortheen,Are you nuts? There are millions of sperm cells but only one egg. The chances of any sperm cell reaching that egg are infinitesimal Give your man the bareback ride he deserves.Satan
Dear Charlie,Absolutely. Be a team player. Make the movie THEY want you to make.Satan
From 'TBH Politoons'
Great Site!
Thanks, again, Tim!
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Another warm day. Incinerated chicken.
Looks like the Inglewood cops have been taking lessons at the LAPD academy...Inglewood PD is a separate entity from LAPD, just as the
Sheriff's Department is a whole other thing, too. Having grown up in an 'Andy & Barney' town, the cops were just local dads supporting a family. Here, well,
let me phrase it this way. I visited Franco's Spain in 1973, and even with a language problem, I was a lot less afraid of Franco's fascists. A whole lot less afraid.
The garden is producing tomatoes steadily now. Well, it would if the kid would stop snacking, but, that's ok. Should have blackberries for his grazing pleasure late next week.
The kittens have been named 'Puffy' and 'Fafner'.
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS has a Trifecta of reruns - 'JAG', 'The Guardian', and 'Judging Amy'.
Scheduled on a fresh Dave are Stupid Pet Tricks and Jude Law.
Scheduled on a fresh Craiggers are Flogging Molly.
NBC has 2 episodes of 'Spy TV', then reruns of 'Frasier' and 'Scrubs'. 'Dateline' follows.
Scheduled on a fresh Jay are Jeff Corwin and reptiles, William H. Macy, and New Found Glory.
Scheduled on a fresh Conan are Tom Hanks and Paul Westerberg.
Scheduled on a fresh Carson Daly Bob Odenkirk & David Cross, and Mike Viola.
ABC has 2 reruns of 'Jim', then a fresh 'The Mole II: The Next Betrayal', and a fresh 'Houston Medical'.
The WB has reruns of 'Gilmore Girls' and 'Smallville'.
Faux has the 'All-Star Game', which is scheduled to infringe on primetime. Listed rerun fillers include 'King Of The Hill', 'Drew Carey', and 'Simpsons'.
UPN has reruns of 'Buffy' and 'Under One Roof'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Ted & Dave
''Up Close''
Ted Koppel talks with David Letterman for the inaugural broadcast of ABC News' "Up Close," airing Monday, July 8, 2002, in this image from television. It is the first television interview in more than five years for Letterman, the
host of CBS' "The Late Show." Koppel anchors "Up Close," and the program airs Monday through Friday following "Nightline" on the ABC Television Network.
Fun Link
Star Wars Origami
Star Wars Origami
Celebrated in New Exhibition
20 Female Rock Icons
The rock world's top 20 female icons are celebrated in a photographic exhibition opening at Britain's National Portrait Gallery Monday.
The exhibition, "She Bop," was inspired by former music journalist Lucy O'Brien's book "She Bop II: The Definitive History of Women in Rock, Pop and Soul."
Exhibits range from rocker Chrissie Hynde to soul diva Dusty Springfield and disco queen Madonna.
The portraits -- "of singers on the front line, who demand to be seen and heard," says O'Brien -- were taken by noted music photographers such as Jill Furmovosky, Pennie Smith, Val Wilmer, Caroline Coon,
Gered Mankovitz and Eric Watson.
Furmovosky's pictures include Hynde, Joan Armatrading, Icelandic chanteuse Bjork and the Canadian k.d Lang, who is as well known for her outspoken lesbianism as for her soaring voice, while photographer
Smith has collaborated with Debbie Harry.
Running to Nov. 3, the exhibition opens with the 1960s, a decade that unearthed ex-convent schoolgirl Marianne Faithfull, the bare-footed Eurovision-winning Sandie Shaw and Springfield.
The 1970s saw the emergence of leather-clad Suzi Quatro, the soulful Armatrading, the swirling voice and movements of Kate Bush and female punk representatives Siousie Sioux and The Slits.
The 1980s are marked by Sade's cool and Annie Lennox in her post-Eurythmics career. More recent portraits include P J Harvey, as well as "honorary Brits" through marriage or residence, such as Madonna, Debbie Harry and Hynde.
20 Female Rock Icons
Visiting Betty Ford
David Hasselhoff
David Hasselhoff has checked himself into The Betty Ford Center for treatment of alcoholism.
The former "Baywatch" star, who turns 50 next week, issued a release Monday announcing the voluntary stay at the hospital.
The actor checked in June 26, but his representatives did not know when he planned to check out.
David Hasselhoff
TV Artifact Collection
James Comisar
James Comisar poses with Captain Kirk's phaser, used during the first season of "Star Trek" in 1966, in a guarded, climate-controlled storage facility in Los Angeles June 11, 2002. A one-time comedy writer, Comisar's respect for television as a cultural institution lead him to assemble
what seems the largest collection of privately held TV artifacts.
Photo by Ric Francis
Useful Link
'Hated'
Hated - Directory of sites most hated by conservatives
'Sex & The City' Author
Candace Bushnell
Candace Bushnell is no longer a single girl in the city. The author of "Sex and the City" has gotten hitched.
Bushnell, whose best-selling book was adapted into the HBO television program starring Sarah Jessica Parker, married Charles Askegard July 4 on a wind-swept Nantucket beach in Massachusetts.
After the couple were declared man and wife, Bushnell ran across the sand and leapt at Askegard, who caught her and held her above his head.
It is her first marriage and his second.
Bushnell's "Sex and the City" was a collection of columns she had written for the New York Observer newspaper. She also is the author of "Four Blondes."
Candace Bushnell
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
NBC Buys Four Episodes
'Forensic Files'
The NBC television network said on Monday it will air four episodes of cable network Court TV's popular "Forensic Files" series this summer, in one of the first such arrangements between a broadcast and cable channel.
The practice of U.S. cable channels re-airing popular broadcast programs -- known in the industry as "repurposing" -- has grown in popularity in recent years, as program-makers look for new outlets in an effort to recoup more of their costs.
But the reverse, where a broadcast network buys a program from a cable channel, is much more rare.
"Forensic Files," which will air for four consecutive weeks starting Aug. 25, takes viewers inside real-life investigations as detectives and forensic experts use cutting-edge science to solve mysteries.
'Forensic Files'
More Comments
Michael Jackson, Day 2
The Rev. Al Sharpton yesterday said Wacko Jacko's bizarre attack on Tommy Mottola was unfair and unfounded, and called the Sony honcho a staunch supporter of black artists.
"I have known Tommy for 15 or 20 years, and never once have I known him to say or do anything that would be considered racist," Sharpton said.
An uneasy Sharpton admitted he was "taken aback and surprised" by the verbal assault, which started during a press conference with the rotund reverend and lasted throughout the Gloved One's crosstown tour on Saturday.
"In fact, he's always been supportive of the black music industry," Sharpton said. "He was the first record executive to step up and offer to help us with respect to corporate accountability, when it comes to black music issues."
Michael Jackson, Day 2
Back On Morning Shift
Deborah Norville
Former "Today" show anchor Deborah Norville returned to television's breakfast hour on Monday for a one-week guest stint as co-host of the third-place morning program, "The Early Show" on CBS.
Norville, current anchor of the syndicated news magazine "Inside Edition," denied that CBS had expressed any interest in her as a candidate to permanently replace Bryant Gumbel, who ended
his 2 1/2-year "Early Show" tenure in mid-May.
A CBS spokeswoman disputed suggestions that Norville's one-week "Early Show" appearance amounted to an on-air audition for Gumbel's old job.
Norville is the latest in a string of "Early Show" guest hosts since Gumbel's departure, including CBS News White House correspondent John Roberts, CBS News weekend anchor Russ
Mitchell and "America's Funniest Home Videos" host Tom Bergeron.
Deborah Norville
BartCop TV!
Court TV Renews
Dominick Dunne
Court TV has renewed "Dominick Dunne's Power, Privilege & Justice" for seven hourlong episodes, following the record ratings racked up by the documentary series in its first two runs.
The series bow June 19 harvested a 1.5 rating in Court TV homes, the highest rating ever for an episode of a reality series on the network. The rating fell by 20% June 26, which is
well within the typical decline for the second episode of a breakout series.
Dunne, the bestselling author and columnist for Vanity Fair, narrates the episodes and participates in all phases of the Court TV production.
Dominick Dunne
Tax Revolter?
Wesley Snipes
Federal bureaucrats are trying to quell a growing tax revolt led by Wesley Snipes. Hundreds of thousands of Americans claim they don't owe the government any taxes. They
either fail to file a return, or file a return showing zero income. The revolutionaries use various justifications that have sprung up since the 1998 IRS Reform & Restructuring
Act. The theories are pushed by brazen promoters, who assert that income tax is voluntary, that only foreign-owned corporations are taxable, and that blacks can claim a $43,209
tax credit for slavery reparations. The New York Times reported earlier this year on the Justice Dept.'s futile efforts to stop the revolt. The feds have filed suit in Tampa, Fla.,
against Douglas P. Rosile Sr., a discredited accountant who allegedly helped 174 clients evade $29 million in taxes. One of those clients was Snipes, who made $19.3 million in 1997,
but claimed no income. Snipes is alarming residents of Putnam County, Ga., with plans for a 200-acre training camp for "security guards" who would become part of his Royal Guard of Amen-Ra.
Wesley Snipes
Forgets About 'The Alamo'
Ron Howard
Director Ron Howard will not lead the charge on "The Alamo," because Disney is taking too long to get the prestige project into production.
Howard, off his Oscar win for "A Beautiful Mind," has begun concentrating on other film projects for his followup. However he and his Imagine Entertainment partner Brian Grazer may well continue as producers of the period Western.
Howard never formally signed a deal to direct the film, but such an accord was considered a fait accompli when word got out that he was scouting locations in Texas.
Howard laid aside several high profile scripts to concentrate on "The Alamo," and there are numerous candidates for his next picture. One possibility is that he and Crowe will work together again on "Cinderella Man," a Universal/Imagine
film about Depression-era boxer and folk hero Jim Braddock.
Ron Howard
Snarky Gossip
David Arquette
Courtney Cox stinks, says her husband David Arquette. Arquette, star of "Eight-Legged Freaks," tells the London Mirror he has a freakish fetish for sniffing her armpits. "Courtney may be pretty," says
Arquette, "but if she's not on top of it, she smells like a truck driver - and I like it." Arquette has had odors on his mind since recently playing a gassy disco king on the Howard Stern-produced FX show, "Son of the Beach."
David Arquette
In Memory
Ward Kimball
Pioneering animator Ward Kimball, who helped modernize Mickey Mouse's look in 1938 and created the character Jiminy Cricket for the Disney classic "Pinocchio," died on Monday at age 88.
Kimball, a member of Walt Disney's trusted cadre of cartoon artists known as the "nine old men," died of natural causes at a hospital in Arcadia, a suburb northeast of Los Angeles, the Walt Disney Co. said in a statement.
During a Disney career that stretched from 1934 until his retirement in 1973, Kimball animated or served as directing animator on such feature classics as "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs," "Pinocchio," "Fantasia," "Cinderella" and "Alice in Wonderland."
Two animated shorts he created for Disney -- "Toot, Whistle, Plunk and Bloom" (1953) and "It's Tough to be a Bird" (1969) -- won Academy Awards.
In the late 1950s, he also wrote and directed three landmark shows about space exploration for the "Disneyland" television series -- "Man in Space," "Man and the Moon" and "Mars and Beyond" -- that were widely credited with sparking public interest in America's space program.
But perhaps Kimball's most distinguished achievement was his development of Jiminy Cricket, the affable, top-hatted sidekick and conscience of the living puppet who longed to be a real boy in Disney's 1940 adaptation of "Pinocchio."
Kimball also was credited with animating the famed crow sequence in "Dumbo" and playing a key role in developing a more sophisticated cartoon design for Disney's signature character, Mickey Mouse, in 1938.
"He was a brilliant animator and filmmaker with a distinctive style and humor all his own," said Roy E. Disney, vice chairman of the Disney company.
Film critic Leonard Maltin said of Kimball, "Ward had a pixie-ish spirit that was irresistible."
In addition to his animation career, Kimball was an accomplished trombonist and founding member of the popular jazz group the Firehouse Five Plus Two. He also led some of his fellow Disney employees in a Dixieland band that recorded albums, played concerts and appeared on TV and in films.
As an antique toy collector and model train enthusiast, Kimball and his wife built a full-sized steam locomotive railroad which the couple ran on their ranch in Southern California.
Ward Kimball
Ward Kimball
DisBio7 Ward Kimball
Ward Kimball at Toon.Com
Ward Kimball - A Disney Legend
Walt Disney's 'Nine Old Men'
'The Osbournes'
Fairly freshly updated - 'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2 !
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
