Bartcop Entertainment - Tuesday, 25 June, 2002
Tuesday
25 June, 2002
(Updated Daily)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Issue #8
Disinfotainment Today
By Michael Dare
"."
ISSUE #8
A Letter from Paul Krassner
To: Danny Goldberg
From: Paul Krassner
June 7, 2002
Dear Danny,
Dan Castellaneta, who is the voice of Homer on
The Simpsons, and I have long been fans of each other's work, and he has attended several of my performances. When you invited me to do another album for Artemis Records, I asked Dan if he would introduce me at the taping in Homer Simpson's voice.
He said he would consider it an honor and a pleasure. He typed out a manuscript and I observed him studying it before the show. Then he introduced me from an offstage microphone.
I had already been informed that Fox TV wanted to hear the entire CD before granting permission, so of course I mentioned that to the audience, adding, "Who would ever have thought that some day Homer Simpson would become an intellectual property?"
Then I learned that Fox wanted seven copies of the mastered tape of "Irony Lives!" I prepared myself for their refusal; the word in the industry is, "Never mess with Fox lawyers." And, "They're worse than Disney."
Next I was told that Dan's attorney said Dan didn't know his introduction would be included in the actual CD. This was simply not true. I gave Dan's phone number to Artemis attorney Adrian White so that she could check with him directly.
It turned out that the lawyer was concerned because the introduction leads into the first track (an organic process) which is titled "Terrorist Attacks." I immediately instructed artist Kalynn Campbell to list "Introduction by Homer Simpson" and, beneath that, "Terrorist Attacks."
Next, Fox wanted $500 for a licensing fee, which is apparently the going rate these days for a pound of flesh. Artemis agreed, but the delay continued, and Fox still hadn't signed anything.
You told me, "It would be cooler to have Homer's introduction on the album than not to," and I concurred.
As a result, the release of my album--originally intended for July 16--would have to be delayed for three weeks. This was frustrating, partly because so much of the material is topical, but also because I would be touring for my book,
Murder At the Conspiracy Convention, in June and mostly July, and I knew that he-writes/he-talks would provide a good publicity angle.
Today, designated bearer of bad news Jason Janego informed me that, "Unfortunately, Fox declined our request, and in doing so failed to go into any detail as to what their reasons were." He asked if there could be any situation where they would allow use of the introduction, and the Fox lawyer said he would go back and ask again.
Yeah, as they say, right. But there's a blessing in disguise here.
I've decided that I don't want to have a second delay in releasing the album, and in my own Aikido-like fashion of turning negative energy into positive energy, I now believe that it would be cooler NOT to have Homer's introduction on the CD.
Rather, its suppression is much juicier than its inclusion, the kind of story that the media enjoy spreading, all the better for creating a buzz that will only serve to promote the album.
This will begin on the first leg of my tour, in Los Angeles, June 10-12, where so far I'm scheduled for one local radio program, one syndicated TV program and one dinner with a columnist for the L.A. Times.
Plus--and gosh, I just can't imagine how this has happened--there are already bootleg copies of Homer's introduction in the hands of friendly print journalists, web sites and disc jockeys. I'll be sure to inform them to play it at their own risk.
I daresay that more people will hear Homer introducing me than would have heard it on the CD itself. The irony of
Irony Lives! is that the result of Fox's attempt to disassociate themselves from the album will backfire.
Would you arrange for it to be remastered in New York so that the introduction is eliminated and the first track begins with the applause, or will it be necessary for me to have that done out here?
I realize that this kind of censorship is not a 1st Amendment issue, since it's not being done by the government. Nevertheless, I have to deal with it.
Burn CDs, Not Books.
Love,
Paul
* * *
Fox owns only Dan doing Homer's voice, not a transcript of what he said--here is the text of the introduction that will accompany the liner notes:
(Homer Simpson's introduction can be heard in RealAudio
here which is much better than reading it)
Hello. I'm Homer Simpson.
There have been many great counter culture heroes I have admired over the years. Steve McQueen, Dr. Demento, Dr. Denis Leary and Wavy Gravy. Mmmmm gravy.
But even some counter culture heroes go too far and step over that line between dissent and in-dissent...cy.
I'm speaking of Paul Krassner.
The first problem I have with Paul Krassner is that the only good song he wrote for The Jefferson Airplane was, "Crown of Creation." And even then his name is spelled K-a-n-t-n-e-r even though it is pronounced Krassner.
I also have a problem with the fact that he is an atheist. If there is no God then who has placed a pox on me and mocks me every day? Of whom do I live in fear and mortal terror? Buddha? I think not. He's way over in China where thankfully he can't get at me.
I have a problem with his constant use of words such as "penis" "Larry Flynt" "premature" "ejaculation" "CIA" and on several occasions he has been known to use the words "Bush" and "Bush Jr." in mixed company. Did I mention "penis"? Yeah, here it is--"penis" (Laughs). (To self) Penis.
Let's see, where was I? I mentioned, "penis" "gravy" "Buddha" "God" "Jefferson Airplane"...
No. That's it...
Will everyone please put their hands together for that raving unconfined nut...here's hoping he opens with "Crown of Creation"...Paul Krassner!
More from Paul (who gave me the word "disinfotainment") at
paulkrassner.com.
BELIEVE IT OR ELSE
One Less Place for Bush to Hide
Brazil on Thursday became the 69th country to ratify the treaty establishing a new and permanent
International Criminal Court to pursue heinous wrongdoing.
But It'll Be Easier for Him to Get There
Teleportation - the disembodiment of an object in one location and its reconstruction in another - has been
successfully carried out in a physics lab in Australia.
Where You're Going to Be When Bush Teleports Himself to Brazil
There over
600 prison camps in
the United States, all fully operational and ready to receive prisoners. They are all staffed and even surrounded by full-time guards, but they are all empty. These camps are to be operated by FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) should Martial Law need to be implemented in the United States.
No, Really, I Didn't Make This Up
Virginia state troopers stopped the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile for driving on a restricted road next to the Pentagon. The crew of the 27-foot-long hot dog was grilled by police when it mistakenly traveled on Route 110, which has been off-limits to vehicles with six wheels or more because of concerns that someone could drive a truck bomb close to the Defense Department's headquarters. (Insert your own joke concerning mustard gas, getting your buns toasted, or expecting the wurst.)
Why Network TV Must Die
The only two black family shows on the air, The Bernie Mac Show and Damon Wayon's My Wife and Kids, are going to be opposite each other next season.
America Online's newest gimmick is to package its disks advertising free hours of online access in a metal box. This "metal mail" is a central part of the company's $3.8 billion annual ad budget and really takes a toll on our nation's energy security and on our environment. Aluminum production consumes more energy than is needed to produce steel, glass, paper or plastic. It also relies on bauxite mining, which destroys more of the earth's surface area than any other type of mining. And, to make matters worse, the discarded junk mail is filling up our landfills. You throw yours away, don't you?
Not only that but this so-called "free" membership contains NO INFORMATION WHATSOEVER about how to quit after the trial period, so you end up getting charged for membership anyway.
Fuck Circuit City
This Would Have Never Happened Under Mussolini
Now Where Will They Get Their Tomahawk Missiles?
Home Depot has issued a
company policy that no store is to do any more business with the US government or its representatives.
Video of the Week
Comedy MP3 of the Week
Lawsuit of the Week
The families of 11 immigrants who died illegally crossing into Arizona from Mexico have filed a
$41 million claim against two federal agencies, saying the government's refusal to put water out in the desert contributed to the migrants' deaths.
Totally Wacko Paranoid New World Order Site of the Week
She Wouldn't Have Fucked You Anyway
David Blaine is nailing Daryl Hannah.
You Mean I've Got to Blow Carrottop?
According to a
recent study, eating nuts can reduce the risk of heart disease.
Oh My God! No! Not Really! I Can't Believe It!
Are You Sure That's What He Said?
Yassar Arafat condemned Israel's military blockade of the West Bank.
At Least We Got bin Laden
According to the FBI's newly released crime stats, in the past year "serious crimes" increased in the U.S. for the first time in a decade.
What the hell is going on at the
Denver International Airport? Why is there a Masonic Capstone inscribed NEW WORLD AIRPORT COMMISSION? Why is it full of gargoyles and apocalyptic murals? Why do the runways form a swastika? Smells like Skull and Bones to me.
Dear Dr. Hollywood,
So, . . . I wrote a James Bond screenplay.
So, . . . a published screenwriter told me I shouldn't have . .. 'cause Broccoli & Co. only commission screenplays.
Now, I have a finished screenplay with PPI & II, inciting incident, midpoint, denouncement, double entendres, a beginning, middle and end to a plot and subplot set in East Africa.
My problem is, . . I like the screenplay; it makes me laugh.
I feel I am destined to write for Bond (or his sidekick, Jane Blond, American woman, 0"Oh"7 in the President's Special Intelligence Service).
Is it true? Is there anything I can do?
I am always yours.
Mary Morrison.
Dear Mary,
Writing a James Bond movie is very much like writing a Bugs Bunny Cartoon or a McDonalds commercial. The chances of the Broccolis or Warner Brothers or McDonalds reading your script, much less making it, are somewhere in between zero and zero.
What you've got is a writing sample. Nothing wrong with that. It's something you can show to people to show what you are capable of.
Or you can do what you seem to suggest, use search-and-replace to change all the names in your script and turn it into a parody of James Bond movies, keeping in mind that GOOD parodies are funny even if you haven't seen the source material.
But you're still not out of trouble. Even though the Supreme Court decision of "the People vs. Larry Flynt" protects satire, that hasn't stopped the publishers of Gone with the Wind from suing the publishers of The Wind Done Gone, or the Broccolis, who are notoriously lawsuit-happy, from suing the makers of the new Austin Powers movie from calling it Goldmember, as though anyone on earth could possibly mistake it for Goldfinger.
The best writing samples are 100% original. One question screenwriters are often asked before submitting something is "Do you own this 100%?" If the answer's "no," they won't look at it without a signed release from anyone who can lay claim to it. If a writing sample is based upon a book or a play or is a satire of another film, the readers will assume that anything good about it is based upon the source material.
The process of getting a film made is very much the process of deleting all obstacles towards getting it made. Way too many movies are made just because there was nothing to prevent them from getting made.
Want to get a film made? Write something that's completely yours.
MD
WHO'S GOING TO HELL THIS WEEK?
by Helen A. Handbasket
You never know who's going to trade their soul away or what they're going to get for it unless you're Helen A. Handbasket, ex-executive chief in charge of operations for the burning flames of hellfire. Who are her sources? Wouldn't you like to know? Sorry, all communications are confidential and the property of Helen A. Handbasket, whose opinions do not necessarily reflect those of this or any other publication.
June 24, 2002
5. Jesse Ventura's contract with Satan specifically stated that he could not seek a second term as
Minnesota's governor if they gave Kermit the Frog a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
4. "I think Jian Wang is much better than Yo-Yo Ma," declared Adolf Hitler from the 4th level of hell. "I look forward to meeting him."
3. Arnold Schwarzenegger was given an honorary doctorate from Chapman University on the same day Paul McCartney's daughter was mugged. Coincidence? I don't think so.
2. Angela Bassett has criticized Halle Berry and her Oscar-winning performance in Monster's Ball - saying it's demeaning for black actresses to play sluts. "The part should have been played by Rosie Perez," she said, "because Puerto Ricans are, well, you know."
And the number one person going to hell this week?
1. Ann Landers is now giving advice to the minions of the 3rd level of hell who all call her Abby.
ARITHMETIC FROM HELL
230 people killed in an earthquake in Iran divided by $1.6 billion China is paying Russia for eight submarines from Russia times 278,000 members of the AMA times $36.9 million taken in by Minority Report equals 600,000 Palestinians confined to their homes plus $35.8 million taken in by Lilo and Stitch times 98% of the al Qaeda leadership that are alive and safe minus 130,000 burnt acres in Arizona.
WHO'S NOT GOING TO HELL THIS WEEK?
DIET FROM HELL
Every year the
King of Thailand shows mercy to certain prisoners by reducing their sentence or even granting a full pardon. This year it has been announced all inmates with TB will be released, so prisoners are swallowing the phlegm of inmates with tuberculosis in a bid to get early release.
STATISTICS FROM HELL
a) The number of physicians in the US: 700,000.
b) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year: 120,000.
c) Accidental deaths per physician: 0.171.
d) The number of gun owners in the US: 80,000,000.
e) The number of accidental gun deaths per year: 1,500.
f) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner: .0000188.
Statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
HISTORY LESSON FROM HELL
The Press and the Fascists
By Denis Mueller
Journalism is the first reporting of history. So it would be interesting, and in the structure of Forgotten History, to look back at how some of the press in the United States greeted the rise of Mussolini and Hitler. In the 1920's Mussolini was hailed as Italy's savior by major publications like the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, Chicago Tribune, and The Saturday Evening Post were among those who hailed Mussolini as a man who brought order to Italy.
How was Hitler greeted when he came to power, with the notable exception of the Boston Globe and The Baltimore Sun, in much the same manner? American news and radio reports painted a picture of optimism. The New York Times told readers to expect a "transformation" in Hitler as he begins "softening down or abandoning the more violent parts of his alleged program." Clearly the experts were wrong.
Once in power they adopted a "let Hitler try his hand" approach. Times bureau chief Frederick Birchcall said the Nazi's were not planning "any slaughter of their enemies or racial oppression in any vital degree." Birchell kept telling his readers that the Nazi had no desire to go to war and that we should not fear Hitler. With an eye for the irrelevant, which has become the trademark of American journalism, he observed that Hitler was a vegetarian and a non-smoker. This information was supposed somehow to humanize him.
The Los Angles Times saw him as a bulwark against communism, labor unions and dissenters. Henry Ford, Thomas Watson of IBM and press moguls like Hearst and McCormick looked on and praised the Nazi's along with their like minded groups that began to spring up in the United States. In fact some of them considered fascism an attractive option. Former president of the National Association of Manufactures H.W. Prentiss declared that "America business might be forced to turn to form of disguised fascistic dictatorship."
Joseph Kennedy Sr. looked kindly on Hitler as well. The list is long. The question remains is why? For one reason the writers and editors were following the wishes of their publishers and advertisers. What you got was a point of view that illustrated their politics. That is why history is important. It allows us to go back and see what was really said. The other point is that the experts are not experts at all but rather ill-informed.
Now we are told daily by the press what is in our national interests. But we should look back at history and see what the press told us what are national interests were before. Fascism was certainly not in our national interests nor was the waste of the Cold War. But they told us this. We must learn that what they tell us is not only many times untrue but highly biased. This is a lesson we should never forget.
Sources: Inventing Reality, Michael Parenti
QUOTES FROM HELL
"If you drink a martini, don't drive. Don't even putt."
- Dean Martin -
"Every country has the government it deserves."
- Joseph de Maistre -
"While there is a lower class, I am in it. While there is a criminal class I am of it. While there is a soul in prison, I am not free."
- Eugene Debs -
"A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices."
- William James -
"I have no problem blowing up Baltimore in a movie if it's done with joy and style."
- John Waters -
"The welfare of the people is the ultimate law."
- Marcus Cicero -
"Art does not apologize."
- Alfred De Musset in Impromptu by Sarah Kernochan -
DIVORCE FROM HELL
QUIZ FROM HELL
Which candidate in the 2000 election said "I don't want to be president unless I won the election. Let's count all the votes."
a) Bush
b) Gore
c) Nobody
LEGISLATION FROM HELL
The
Model State Emergency Health Powers Act (MSEHPA) proposes giving state governments broad police powers to declare public-health emergencies, force individuals to undergo medical exams, track and share individuals' personal health information without their consent, force individuals to be vaccinated, treated or quarantined, ration food and other commodities, and mobilize state militias to enforce state orders and impose fines and penalties.
CARTOON FROM HELL
FUNERAL FROM HELL
According to the AP, mourners at a funeral in Loxley, Ala. beat the crap out of the preacher because they didn't like his eulogy.
SITES FROM HELL
Mandatory reading:
The Sad and Sordid Whereabouts of bin Cheney and bin Bush - A Free Online Chapter addition to Stupid White Men by Michael Moore. Part One:
What Does a 99-cent Bic Lighter Tell Us About the Bush War on Terrorism? (Bush caved in to tobacco lobbyists who didn't want lighters and matches on the list of items banned from commercial air flights)
Prominent Americans have issued
this statement on the war on terror.
How close are you to nuclear waste? Go
here.
Interesting how
mideasttruth.com is 100% pro-Israel. Seems to me the word "truth" would include both sides of an issue. Though totally biased, a worthwhile site nonetheless.
Are you lost in the world of series available on the web.
Episodic Review is pretty much the TV guide of the Internet.
Bored? Why not build a
laser from scratch?
Confused? Here's a
flowchart that explains absolutely everything.
Check out
this superb list of articles about the drug war.
You know you like it!
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY archives are
here.
And all of Helen's columns are
here.
And Dr. Hollywood archives are
here
dIsInFoTaInMeNt ToDaY is free and may be reproduced in any form.
http://home.earthlink.net/~dare2b
Many thanks to Michael Dare!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From 'TBH Politoons'
Great Site!
Thanks, again, Tim!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Reader Suggestion
Re: Internet Radio
From Sarah
In the same vein as Nina Eliza's open letter to the RIAA, you might want to
connect readers to www.saveinternetradio.org.
It doesn't look good for internet radio at this moment, but maybe if enough
people write their Senate/House representatives, good and available radio
can be saved.
~~ sarah
Thanks, Sarah! A pal does weekends on KIRO in Seattle, and the show is not as much fun when it can't be heard - especially online. Quite the pisser.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Weather was great today. There was a bit of a coastal influence, and it didn't burn off til nearly noon. Days like this make me wonder why I spent those 20 years out in the Valley...LOL. Was 20 degrees hotter there today than here.
The orange kitten is noticably larger than the calico these days. But, the calico is fearless.
Another of the kid's fish died - services were held at the circular ceremonial porcelain receptacle in the big bathroom.
Pal has just finished a book - anybody know anything about getting it published? It's sorta science fiction and pretty damn good.
Watched Bill Maher, and it seemed young Jay Mohr was auditioning for Drew Carey's role as official court jester of the Bunnypants regime. You go, Boy!
Tonight, Tuesday, CBS has a 'Trifecta' of reruns - 'JAG', 'The Guardian', and 'Judging Amy'.
Scheduled on a fresh Dave are Adam Sandler and Trik Turner.
Scheduled on a fresh Craiggers is Abandoned Pools.
NBC starts the night with a rerun 'Frasier', then begins the 'Scrubs'athon, with 5 reruns of 'Scrubs' in a row.
Scheduled on a fresh Jay are Tommy Lee Jones, Kevin Smith and Rosey.
Scheduled on a fresh Conan are Shannon Elizabeth and N.E.R.D.
Scheduled on a fresh Carson Daly are Brooke Burns and NAS.
ABC starts the night with 2 reruns of 'Spin City', then a fresh'Mole II: The Next Betrayal', and a fresh 'Houston Medical'.
Scheduled on a fresh Bill Maher are Rob Schneider (comedian), Esai Morales (actor), Actress Julie Brown (actress), and Trace Adkins (country recording artist).
The WB has reruns of 'Gilmore Girls' and 'Smallville'.
Faux offers 2 reruns of 'That 70's Show', then a fresh 'American Idol: The Search For A Superstar'.
UPN starts the night with a rerun of 'Buffy', then has reruns of 'The Parkers' and 'The Hughleys'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Story Continues
Hunter S. Thompson
Hunter S. Thompson - the colorful inventor of "gonzo journalism" who wrote "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" - is furious at Jerry Seinfeld after being tricked into writing a series
of letters to Ted L. Nancy, the fictitious author of "Letters From a Nut."
Thompson believes the book was actually written by Seinfeld, who is now working on a "Letters From a Nut" TV show for ABC.
"Did you ever 'look into' those Ted Nancy letters I forwarded to the office?" Thompson asks in a letter to his agent Jeffrey Posternak now circulating on the Internet.
"Don't give me anymore of yr. dunce-shrugs either, because after a few nights of heavy facsimile exchange and pre-dawn phone calls, I discovered that this Nancy Tar-Baby is
actually Jerry Seinfeld & this whole whore-faced p- - -ing contest I've been roped into revolved around some addled-brained TV scheme he's pitched to ABC."
Thompson, who lives in a cabin outside Aspen, Colo., is fairly well-informed. Seinfeld wrote the foreword to the best-selling "Letters From a Nut," and he was present at a series of meetings with the networks this spring.
For the rest, Hunter S. Thompson
For a little history, also see: BartCop Entertainment, Saturday, 15 June and
BartCop Entertainment, Saturday, 22 June
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Full Moon
Kiev
Full moon rises in the night sky above golden domes of the Orthodox Monastery of Caves in Kiev, Ukraine, on Sunday, June 23, 2002.
Photo by Efrem Lukatsky
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Legal Age For Brides Raised
From 9 To 13
Iran's arbitrating body has approved a reformist law increasing the minimum marriage age from 9 to 13 for girls and from 14 to 15 for boys.
The new law stipulates that marriage of girls under 13 and boys under 15 will require court permission, the government-run daily Iran has reported. It gave no further details.
The law's approval is seen as a victory for Iran's reformists, who have sought to promote women's rights.
The elected legislature passed a similar Bill in August 2000, but the hard-line Guardian Council rejected it as contradicting Islamic sharia law.
From 9 To 13
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snarky Hissy Fit
Angela Bassett
Angela Bassett turned down a lead role in the movie "Monster's Ball" because she believed an affair the character had was demeaning and stereotypical, the actress said.
"It's about character, darling," she told Newsweek for the July 1 issue, which goes on newsstands Monday. "I wasn't going to be a prostitute on film. I couldn't do that
because it's such a stereotype about black women and sexuality."
The actress made it clear that she didn't mean to criticize Halle Berry, who starred in the movie as a troubled waitress who had an affair with her husband's executioner.
Berry won an Oscar for the role.
For more, Angela Bassett
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loses Court Battle
Elton John
Pop superstar Elton John on Monday lost the latest round of a British court fight with his former accountants PricewaterhouseCoopers over touring costs he believes he should never have paid.
The singer unsuccessfully asked the Court of Appeal to allow him to reopen his case against the firm for negligence in managing his finances after losing a High Court case in
which he revealed details of his extravagant lifestyle.
John was left with an estimated $11.8 million legal bill after losing the complex case last year in which he had sought to recover $21 million in overseas touring costs and interest.
Lord Justice Robert Walker, one of the three Court of Appeal judges hearing the case, said he had "come to the same conclusion as the High Court judge" who ruled that
he did not find the accountants negligent. The singer was refused permission to reopen his suit.
Elton John
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lordy, Lordy, Look Who Turned Forty
Tom Cruise
The 40th birthday party Tom Cruise threw for himself Saturday night at Santa Monica's Museum of Flying (where Tom keeps some of his own planes) was one of Hollywood's best-kept
secrets. Cruise, smiling and relaxed, invited maybe 200 friends and family to the happy affair and managed to keep the paparazzi in the dark. I understand Penélope Cruz was on
his arm, which would indicate their affair is enjoying a shelf life well beyond the need to promote their last film together, "Vanilla Sky."
Tom Cruise
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Returns to TV on Faux Show
Geraldo Rivera
Maverick journalist Geraldo Rivera will return to network TV next month as an investigative reporter for a nine-week news magazine series produced for the Fox Broadcasting Co., it was announced on Monday.
Rivera, who ventured to Afghanistan last year as a war correspondent for Fox sister cable outlet Fox News Channel, will join colleagues Bill O'Reilly and Shepard Smith on
the "The Pulse, the latest attempt by Fox to launch a prime-time news hour.
"The Pulse" will debut Thursday, July 11, at 9 p.m. EDT on Fox and run for nine consecutive weeks through the summer, Fox News said. If the show catches on in the ratings, it
could become an addition to the regular season lineup, a spokesman said.
Rivera, 58, ended his seven-year stint as host of his own daily prime-time talk show on CNBC, "Rivera Live," last November to take a job as a war correspondent in
Afghanistan for rival cable outlet Fox News Channel.
He generated controversy almost instantly. Days after reporting that he nearly had his hair parted by sniper fire, Rivera found himself the target of criticism in
journalistic circles for carrying a gun on assignment, despite long-standing taboos against correspondents arming themselves in war zones.
He later was forced to admit making an "honest mistake" after reporting he had been at the scene of a "friendly fire" incident near the former Taliban stronghold
of Kandahar in which three U.S. soldiers were killed in a U.S. bombing raid. It turned out that he had actually been hundreds of miles away, near what he maintained
was the site of a second such incident in which several anti-Taliban Afghan fighters were killed.
Geraldo Rivera
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Show Canceled in Antigua
Alicia Keys
A concert in Antigua by Grammy Award winning rhythm and blues singer Alicia Keys was canceled because the concert's promoters didn't pay her appearance fees, her agent said.
The concert, scheduled for Friday night, was advertised as the first of a Caribbean tour. The amount of the contract was reported to be $60,000.
"The promoters ... did not live up to their contractual obligations," said Keys' agent, Rob Light of the Beverly Hill-based Creative Artists Agency, in a letter sent to
Antigua Junior Finance Minister Asot Michael.
Light said the Antiguan government "has been incredible in trying to resolve this unfortunate situation" and the government would like "to try and reschedule (the) show
for September." The government did not comment on the matter.
Alicia Keys
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The National Enquirer
Gotti Heirs Sue
The idea of the imprisoned Gotti mob suing the National Enquirer for defaming their family name is a real hoot. Just remember that the supermarket tabloid was turned into a money machine
by the late Generoso Pope, who was "connected" himself, and you have to see the funny side of it. Nowadays, though, the rag is owned by the impeccable American Media and they're not laughing
at the threatened writ from Junior Gotti over an Enquirer story about his dad being angry with him. "We stand behind our story 100 percent and will defend ourselves vigorously," says an Enquirer
editor. "The idea that our two reporters didn't speak to [former Gotti counsel Bruce Cutler] about this issue is just silly." He's probably right - Cutler ever met a tabloid reporter he wouldn't
talk to. But, still, matters wouldn't have got even this far if old Gene Pope was still running the paper.
Gotti Suit Filed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teen Exodus
WWE Tanking
The Rock has gone to the movies, Stone Cold Steve Austin is on ice and huge numbers of teenage boys have turned away from World Wrestling Entertainment's (WWE) signature primetime shows "Raw Is War" and "Smackdown."
The Nielsen numbers have body-slammed Vince McMahon, chairman of WWE, and his wife Linda, the CEO. For the first 5-1/2 months of the year, "Smackdown," has lost 35% of its 12-to-17-year-old males compared with the same
period in 2001. The show, UPN's two-hour bellwether Thursday at 8, has also seen its household ratings fall by 10%.
While the Rock's career is soaring (Universal's "Scorpion King" has grossed more than $90 million in U.S. theaters), Steve Austin, another star wrestler, walked out after a disagreement with the WWE and then got into
hot water with the San Antonio cops for allegedly beating up his wife Debra, who's also his manager.
Another problem for the WWE is that the attention span of teenage boys keeps getting shorter and shorter.
WWE Tanking
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vacationing In Paris
Daryl & David
Playboy magician David Blaine made sure actress Daryl Hannah won't vanish into thin air - grabbing his new sweetheart in a playful neck-lock as the two vacationed in Paris.
Hannah, the ex-squeeze of JFK Jr., is 12 years older than 29-year-old Blaine, but the lovebirds looked like a couple of kids as they romped along the Seine River and visited the Eiffel Tower.
Daryl & David
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
$50 Million Deal For Pageants
NBC & The Donald
NBC has inked a $50 million deal with Donald Trump to become the mogul's new beauty pageant partner.
The network replaces CBS, which has opted to sell its 50% stake in the Miss Universe Organization -- which produces the Miss USA, Miss Universe
and Miss Teen USA pageants -- back to Trump, who will sell it on to NBC.
Under the five-year deal, NBC will pay Trump $10 million per year to broadcast the three pageants starting in 2003. As part of the pact, NBC sibling
Telemundo will become the exclusive Spanish-language broadcaster for the three telecasts in the U.S. Also, ShopNBC will handle merchandising and fulfillment
for Miss USA pageant-related merchandise on TV and the Internet.
A CBS spokesman said the network notified Trump in March that it wasn't interested in renewing its deal for the three pageants and that Trump was free to
shop the telecasts elsewhere. CBS' contract with Trump officially ends after the network airs the Miss Teen USA pageant this August.
NBC & The Donald
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
'Ambassador-at-Large' For Qantas
John Travolta
Self-professed "airline geek" and actor John Travolta on Monday earned a new pair of wings as a first officer for Qantas Airways and unveiled a world tour to promote air travel that has weakened since Sept. 11.
Travolta, an avid pilot and Oscar-nominated star of movies from "Saturday Night Fever" to "Pulp Fiction," trained with Qantas and on 747 simulators at Boeing Co. in Seattle
and was now officially "Ambassador-at-large" for the Australian airline.
Shortly after Qantas Chief Executive Officer Geoff Dixon pinned the golden wings on Travolta, who was wearing a crisp blue aviator's uniform, the actor called the moment
"one of the proudest days of my life."
So, in his freshly painted 707 dubbed the "Jett Clipper Ella," on July 1, Travolta will take to the air from Los Angeles and head to Auckland, New Zealand
to begin the 10-nation "Spirit of Friendship" tour.
Other destinations will include Sydney, Melbourne and Perth in Australia, Singapore, Hong Kong, Tokyo, London, Rome, Paris, Frankfurt and New York.
John Travolta
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BartCop TV!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Artwork Sold For Over $1.1 Million
Playboy
Turns out some people like Playboy for more than just its articles.
Artworks by Leroy Neiman, a mainstay of the pages of Playboy for almost 50 years, were the top sellers at an auction of 500 paintings, photos and cartoons from the magazine's archives Sunday.
In addition to selling 17 Neimans via Butterfields, Playboy also unloaded works by the likes of Andy Warhol, Alberto Vargas, Ed Paschke and Edward Gorey, and even a cartoon by Playboy founder High Hefner.
The top-selling lot was a pair of Neiman watercolors, "Man at his Leisure" and "Dancer at the Lido," which sold for $40,000 -- a hefty surplus over its estimate of $3,000-$5,000. A 1967
Neiman acrylic, "Man at his Leisure (Surfing)," sold for $25,000, up from an estimate of $3,500-$5,000.
A Playboy spokesman said the magazine held the auction in order to share a tiny selection of works with fans as it gears up to celebrate its 50th anniversary in the coming year.
Supermodel Cindy Crawford still has her fans. A dozen sepia-toned Herb Ritts photographs from a 1988 pictorial sold for $11,000. They carried an estimate of $7,000-$9,000.
Playboy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mugging Victim
Mary McCartney
Paul McCartney's pregnant daughter was left bruised and battered after two muggers viciously attacked her on a London street, it was reported last night.
The assault occurred as Mary McCartney, 33, left her work and was placing belongings in the trunk of her blue Mercedes.
One attacker jammed his hand over her mouth to stop her screams while the other removed her diamond earrings and yanked off her engagement ring and watch.
Mary, a professional photographer who's two months pregnant, was so terrified for the safety of her unborn child she put up no fight.
Mary McCartney
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lawsuit Set for Next Week
Jennifer Aniston
Actress Jennifer Aniston's lawsuit against two magazine publishers for printing unauthorized photos of her sunbathing topless will proceed next week without a jury, the judge ruled on Monday.
U.S. District Judge Ronald Lew said he would conduct a court trial and render a verdict himself -- which is permitted for civil cases under federal law -- because Aniston's lawyers
failed to demand a jury when the lawsuit was filed in 2000.
The actress, who plays Rachel on the hit comedy "Friends," sued Man's World Publications Inc. and Crescent Publishing Group, claiming that paparazzi scaled an eight-foot (2.4 meter) wall to
photograph her as she sunbathed in the backyard of her home.
The pictures were taken in February of 1999 and appeared later that year in the magazines Celebrity Skin, High Society and Celebrity Sleuth.
The pictures have also reportedly appeared in the Italian magazine Eva Tremila, the English newspaper Daily Sport and the French publication Voici.
Jennifer Aniston
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sees Backlash in Adoption Fight
Rosie O'Donnell
Rosie O'Donnell said she's begun to feel the sting of leading the fight to allow gays and lesbians to adopt children in Florida.
She said a medical association recently rescinded an invitation to speak at their convention.
"They said they were afraid of protesters," O'Donnell told 200 women Sunday at the two-day Wise Women Weekend retreat in Miami Beach. "I'm not used to being considered controversial."
O'Donnell also responded to her opponents' criticism that her crusade is a gay issue. "I have no homosexual agenda," she said. "I have a child agenda,"
Florida passed the gay adoption ban in 1977 at a time when entertainer Anita Bryant went on a crusade against a Dade County ordinance protecting homosexuals from discrimination.
O'Donnell's efforts to win support for a possible repeal of the law received little support in the Florida Legislature in March.
Rosie O'Donnell
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Snarky Gossip
Jack Welch
Jack Welch might have once been the world's most powerful CEO, but it's disgraced Harvard Business Review editrix Suzy Wetlaufer who wears the pants in their relationship. On
Thursday night, the duo showed up at the opening party for Boston restaurant Nine Zero. "A really pretty female journalist - who, incidentally, had interviewed him before - was
talking to Jack when Suzy got really irritated," said the source. "She walked up to him, grabbed his arm and snarled, 'Jack, we've got to go,' and pulled him away without even
looking at the woman he was talking to." Welch dutifully followed Wetlaufer off into the night after having only been at the party for several minutes. "Suzy was so much taller
than him - and so unglamorous," the spy added. "Just not what I thought she would be." Apparently the couple are still happy, despite the probability that Welch will lose half
of his $400 million fortune to his soon-to-be-ex-wife Jane. Rumor has it Welch and Wetlaufer will spend the rest of the summer on vacation in Australia with their children.
Jack Welch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
TV Hosts Removed
Italy
The Italian opposition and the journalists' union on Sunday denounced the removal from state TV of two well-known personalities critical of Premier Silvio Berlusconi.
State-run RAI presented its lineup for the next season, and it does not include talk shows featuring the left-leaning political commentator Michele Santoro and Enzo Biagi,
one of the biggest names in Italian journalism.
Berlusconi signaled his feelings about Biagi and Santoro in April, when he accused them of having made "criminal use" of publicly funded RAI to push their agendas.
At a press conference then, Berlusconi said it would be necessary that the new heads of RAI, which his conservative coalition largely appointed, "not allow this to happen again."
Berlusconi is Italy's richest man and controls the nation's largest private broadcaster, Mediaset. Italy's governing coalitions have always been in control of RAI. So now Berlusconi directly
or indirectly controls 90 percent of Italy's television market.
TV Hosts Removed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sold For $20 Million
Monet's ''Nympheas''
A painting of a pond of waterlilies by French impressionist Claude Monet sold at auction Monday for $20 million, the highest price for a single canvas at a London auction this year.
A spokeswoman for auctioneer Sotheby's said that "Nympheas," one of a series of 48 that Monet painted of the pond in the garden of his house in Giverny, northern France, went to an anonymous bidder.
It has not been on public show since 1925 and has been held in a private collection in France since it was acquired directly from Monet's dealer, Durand-Ruel, in 1940.
The series, painted between the late 1890s and the early 1900s, is generally regarded as the pinnacle of Monet's genius.
Monet's ''Nympheas''
'Under The Water Lilies'
by Claude Moanet
Also see BartCop Entertainment, Wednesday, April 17
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Still Seeking Volunteers
'The Osbournes'
Fairly freshly updated - 'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2 !
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
C'mon....send your thoughts, your impressions, your views, your favorite quotes...
Scroll down for lots of addys to pick from (or 'from which to pick', for the truly anal retentive).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Welcome !
You have reached the Home page of BartCop Entertainment.
Make yourself home, take your shoes off...
Go ahead, scratch it if it itches.
The idea is to have fun.
Do you have something to say?
Anything that increased your blood pressure, or, even better,
amused or entertained?
Do you have a great album no one's heard?
How about a favorite TV show, movie, book, play, cartoon, or legal amusement?
A popular artist that just plain pisses you off?
A box set the whole world should own?
Vile, filthy rumors about Republican musicians?
Just plain vile, filthy rumors?
A picture of yourself clad only in panties and sitting on Andy Devine's lap?
This is your place.
(In other words, submissions are welcome.)
Send mail to Marty
( SuprmChaos@yahoo.com )
Or this Marty
( SuprmChaos@aol.com )
Or this Marty
( SuprmChaos@hotmail.com )
You can even send it to this Marty
( Marty@suprmchaos.com )
Thank you
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Previous Issue
BartCop Entertainment Archive ~ Year 1
Home
Links
Return to BartCop
"Management reserves the right to edit, yada yada."
''You send it to me, it's mine.''
Established 26 July, 2001