Recommended Reading
from Bruce
Joe Bob Briggs: You, Too, Can Live Inside Your Phone (Taki's Mag)
The first step in the direction of all-digital-all-the-time was released by Samsung this week in the form of a rotating vertical television called Sero. The idea is that you come home after a long day, sink into your Corinthian-leather sofa, and hit a button on your phone that makes your CinemaScope landscape-oriented flat-screen rotate 90 degrees to become a giant version of the phone screen you've been using all day. ("Sero" is the word for "vertical" in Korean.) Now you can invite the whole neighborhood over to watch that viral video about the Teen Mom dude who shot the family dog.
Paul Waldman and Greg Sargent: A court just dealt a blow to rigged elections. It probably won't last. (Washington Post)
In the Ohio ruling, judges ruled that an overly partisan gerrymander is created when the outcome of elections is "predetermined" to a degree that unconstitutionally violates voters' right to political association by making it harder for some voters to advance their political aims. But this decision will ultimately be appealed to the Supreme Court -- and with the other cases also being heard, there's little reason to think this will be upheld.
Alexandra Petri: Rod Rosenstein's remarkable letter of resignation (Washington Post)
"As I submit my resignation effective on May 11, I am grateful to you for the opportunity to serve: for the courtesy and humor you often display in our personal conversations, and for the goals you set in your inaugural address: patriotism, unity, safety, education, and prosperity, because "a nation exists to serve its citizens." The Department of Justice pursues those goals while operating in accordance with the rule of law. The rule of law is the foundation of America. It secures our freedom, allows our citizens to flourish, and enables our nation to serve as a model of liberty and justice for all." - An actual quote from Deputy Attorney General Rod J. Rosenstein's resignation letter
Jonn Elledge: Jon Snow's birthright is a red herring. Sansa will win the Game of Thrones (New Statesman)
All along this story has delighted in overturning the conventions of the genre. Why stop now?
Helen Lewis: Welcome to the age of ironic bigotry, where old hatreds are cloaked in woke new language (New Statesman)
If you understand why "Zionist" has become an anti-Semitic codeword, there's no excuse for calling women "terfs".
Matt Wilson: The 15 Most Memorable Songs Used In Quentin Tarantino Movies (Taste of Cinema)
Music in films can be very manipulative. It can make all the difference to the scene it is accompanying. What could potentially have been an unremarkable scene becomes so much more due to the fantastic music in the background. Although composers and artists are the ones who create the actual music, it is the filmmaker that ultimately decides how to use it most effectively.
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Presenting
Michael Egan
said:
has returned to semi-retired status.
In memory.
Reader Suggestion
Michelle in AZ
from Bruce
Anecdotes
• Ken Nordine is most famous for a series of Word Jazz albums. As a creative person, he leads a life of wit and originality. When he was a boy, he was bothered because his minister would not get wet during baptisms because he wore thigh-high boots. Therefore, young Ken secretly made a hole in one of the boots. He remembers that at the next baptism he "could seethe Christian anger arise in [the minister's] reddening face. He walked out with a big boot full of water, and when he got to his study, he released a small flood!" Sometimes, the people around Ken are the original ones. For example, a man once stripped to his shorts and then painted himself white in Ken's garden. Ken called 911 and told the police about the man. The police arrived, thinking that Ken might be kidding them, but they found the man's pants and a bucket and paintbrush that the man had used to paint himself white. They then took off after the man, first radioing the police station to say, "The guy who painted himself white is heading north, and we've got his pants." Ken says, "If I were to think of something like that, people would say, 'Man, you are really sick.'" By the way, Ken's wife is also original. She once held a party, and it took Ken two hours to realize what was unusual about the party: Every man whom she had invited was named John. (She also thought about having a "Mary" party.)
• Famous British graffiti (and fine) artist Banksy is witty. He once smuggled a piece of rock art (showing a Stone Age hunter - and a shopping cart) into the British Museum - his credit on the art was "Banksyus Maximus." He also once put a parody of Any Warhol's Pop Art Campbell's soup cans into New York's Museum of Modern Art - Banksy's parody showed a can of Tesco Value cream of tomato soup. In addition, Banksy once created an open-sir sculpture that consisted of putting shark fins in a pond in east London's Victoria Park.
• The late-night talk-show hosts are frequently witty. When Johnny Carson failed to properly make a pretzel out of a length of dough, the lady leading the demonstration handed him another length of pizza dough, saying, "Try this piece. I don't think yours is long enough." Johnny replied, "Yes, I think I've heard that before." Michael Jordan once appeared with David Letterman after the NBA had banned his black-and-red Air Jordan basketball shoes because they didn't have any white. David quipped, "Neither does the NBA."
• Joseph Barbera of Hanna-Barbera fame and his friend Sy Fisher were standing on a sidewalk and talking when a woman went up to Mr. Fisher and asked, "Don't you know me?" He did not. She pinched his lower lip between her thumb and index finger and asked, "Recognize me now?" He mumbled, "No." She let go of his lower lip and said, "I'm your dental hygienist." After she had left, Mr. Fisher said, "Thank God she wasn't my proctologist."
• For a very long time, the Kenilworth Hotel in Miami, Florida, did not allow Jews to stay there. Finally, in 1960, some Jewish sportswriters covering the New York Yankees' spring training trip were allowed to integrate the hotel's guest list. Leonard Shecter, the man with the acid tongue from the
• Cult filmmaker John Waters is a wit. He used to sign his autograph with the note "See You in Hell," and he believes, "Nothing is more impotent than an unread library." He also inspires wit in other people. Because of his films, Mr. Waters is known as the Prince of Puke, and whenever he entered a favorite Baltimore bar, the DJ played Eminem's "Puke" in his honor.
• Actor Cary Grant was capable of wit. He once gave a reporter permission to misquote him. Why would he do such a thing? He explained, "I improve in misquotation." And a magazine once sent him a telegram that asked, "HOW OLD CARY GRANT?" He replied with this telegram: "OLD CARY GRANT FINE. HOW YOU?"
• One of Jonathan Swift's servants once told him a lie. Instantly, Dean Swift was outraged: "You pretend to tell me lies. I, you rascal, who have been acquainted with all the great liars of the age!" Dean Swift proceeded to name several statesmen, and then concluded with, "Get along, you rascal! How dare you tell lies?"
• When Jonathan Swift died, he left 10,000 pounds to be used for the founding of an Irish Hospital for Idiots and Lunatics. That was his final joke. As he had written earlier: "He gave the little wealth he had / To build A house for fools and mad, / And shew'd by one satiric touch, / No nation wanted it so much."
• Fred Allen was an incredibly witty comedian. His new writers used to spend time at meetings jogging down the continual flow of witticisms from Mr. Allen's lips, but they quickly realized that there was no stopping the flow. One of his writers paid Mr. Allen the compliment, "That's guy's got blitzwits!"
• For many years, England exploited Ireland. Lord Carteret's wife once stated to Jonathan Swift that she liked the air of Ireland. Dean Swift immediately fell to his knees and begged her, "For God's sake, madam, don't say so in England, for if you do they will certainly tax it."
• Jazz banjo player Eddie Condon was witty. He once remarked about the 1940s bebop musicians, "They flat their fifths; we drink ours." And he once said about French writers who criticized American jazz, "We don't tell them how to stomp on grapes…."
• Mulla Nasrudin decided to open an agency to supply lecturers to groups that needed entertainment. Unfortunately, he found it difficult to find good lecturers, so whenever a group asked for a wit, he was forced to ask if two half-wits would do.
• In his autobiography, Here's Morgan!, comedian Henry Morgan is careful to mention that he knew James Thurber, Robert Benchley, and S.J. Perelman "because, after all, I have to keep my wits about me."
• "Misquotations are the only quotations that are never misquoted." - Hesketh Pearson
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Reader Comment
Current Events
How pathetic did Tiger Woods look dressed like a Predator Mini-Me?
Stollen
Making fun of Predator's tweet with the misspelled word:
Isn't Stollen a Liam Neeson movie? "I have a very particular set of baking skills."
Linda >^..^<
We are all only temporarily able bodied.
Thanks, Linda!
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
JD is on vacation.
Visit JD's site - Kitty Litter Music
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
More May gray with a little bonus rain.
Anchor Changes
CBS News
Gayle King will be joined by Anthony Mason and Tony Dokoupil as co-hosts of "CBS This Morning," and Norah O'Donnell has been named anchor and managing editor of "CBS Evening News," CBS News announced Monday morning. O'Donnell will also be the lead anchor of political events for the network and continue as a contributing correspondent for "60 Minutes."
J
ohn Dickerson, currently a co-host in the morning, will shift roles to report for "60 Minutes" and contribute to election specials.
The staffing moves were announced by Susan Zirinsky, who was named president of CBS News in January and took over in March.
"CBS Evening News with Norah O'Donnell" begins this summer in New York and will move to Washington, D.C. this fall on a permanent basis.
Zirinsky also said the network is discussing opportunities in New York for Jeff Glor, the current anchor of "CBS Evening News."
CBS News
Honored For Helping
Dolly Parton
Country singer Dolly Parton has been honored by the Federal Bureau of Investigation as a distinguished community leader.
The FBI's 2018 Director's Community Leadership Award was presented to the Dollywood Foundation in Tennessee, following a nomination by the bureau's Knoxville Division.
Parton and the Dollywood Foundation provided $9-million dollars to the victims of the Gatlinburg wildfires in 2016 through the "My People Fund."
"The donations brought renewed hope to a community devastated by the worst natural disaster in Tennessee history," the FBI said in a statement.
Parton was unable to attend the award ceremony at the FBI headquarters but did send a video message to express her gratitude.
Dolly Parton
Dave Grohl, Motörhead and Thin Lizzy
"Ride for Ronnie"
The fifth annual "Ride for Ronnie" took place Sunday in Los Angeles, honoring late metal legend Ronnie James Dio, and among the highlights was surprise guest Dave Grohl jumping behind the kit to play drums on Motörhead and Thin Lizzy classics with an all-star band.
This year's "Ride for Ronnie" started out with a motorcycle ride from Harley Davidson of Glendale to Los Encinos Park in Encino, where the performances took place. It was in the park that the onetime Nirvana drummer joined Ricky Warwick (Thin Lizzy, Black Star Riders), Robbie Crane (Black Star Riders), and Keith Nelson (Buckcherry) on Motörhead's "Bomber" and Thin Lizzy's "Jailbreak".
The event, which featured several other performances, raised money for the Ronnie James Dio Stand Up and Shout Cancer Fund, which supports research and early detection of prostate, colon and stomach cancers. Ronnie James Dio passed away as the result of stomach cancer in 2010.
Meanwhile, Grohl's main band, Foo Fighters, will be back in action this month, headlining the Epicenter festival in Rockingham, North Carolina, on May 12th, and the Sonic Temple festival in Columbus, Ohio, on May 19th, along with a pair of gigs May 15th-16th at The Fillmore New Orleans. The band will then play a run of European dates this summer.
"Ride for Ronnie"
Award Offered - And Rescinded
Don McLean
A lifetime achievement award has been offered - and rescinded - for "American Pie" singer Don McLean.
The 73-year-old announced Monday that he's receiving the George and Ira Gershwin Award for Lifetime Musical Achievement, presented by the Student Alumni Association of University of California, Los Angeles. Past recipients included Julie Andrews, Ella Fitzgerald and Ray Charles.
But the Portland Press Herald reports that the award was rescinded after the association was told of a domestic disturbance involving Don and Patrisha McLean in 2016.
McLean pleaded guilty to domestic violence assault, which was dismissed after he met the terms of a plea agreement. The couple are now divorced.
His spokesman called it "disrespectful" for an award to be rescinded over failure to conduct due diligence on a widely reported incident.
Don McLean
Won't Enforce Death Penalty
Brunei
Brunei's sultan has announced death by stoning for gay sex and adultery will not be enforced after a global backlash, but critics Monday called for harsh sharia laws to be abandoned entirely.
In a speech late Sunday, Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah said a moratorium on capital punishment that already applies to Brunei's regular criminal code would also extend to its new sharia code, which includes death by stoning for various crimes.
The code, which also punishes theft with the amputation of hands and feet, fully came into force last month in the small sultanate on Borneo island, making it the only country in East or Southeast Asia with sharia law at the national level.
The move sparked anger from governments and rights groups, the United Nations slammed it as a "clear violation" of human rights while celebrities led by actor George Clooney called for Brunei-owned hotels to be boycotted.
In a televised address, the all-powerful sultan made his first public comments about the furore and took the rare step of addressing criticism, saying there had been "many questions and misperceptions" regarding the sharia laws.
Brunei
Privacy Questions
Facebook
Over the past year, a team of as many as 260 contract workers in Hyderabad, India has ploughed through millions of Facebook Inc photos, status updates and other content posted since 2014.
The workers categorize items according to five "dimensions," as Facebook calls them.
These include the subject of the post - is it food, for example, or a selfie or an animal? What is the occasion - an everyday activity or major life event? And what is the author's intention - to plan an event, to inspire, to make a joke?
The work is aimed at understanding how the types of things users post on its services are changing, Facebook said. That can help the company develop new features, potentially increasing usage and ad revenue.
Details of the effort were provided by multiple employees at outsourcing firm Wipro Ltd over several months. The workers spoke on condition of anonymity due to fear of retaliation by the Indian firm. Facebook later confirmed many details of the project. Wipro declined to comment and referred all questions to Facebook.
Facebook
Accelerating Extinction Of Other Species
Humans
People are putting nature in more trouble now than at any other time in human history, with extinction looming over 1 million species of plants and animals, scientists said Monday.
But it's not too late to fix the problem, according to the United Nations' first comprehensive report on biodiversity.
Species loss is accelerating to a rate tens or hundreds of times faster than in the past, the report said. More than half a million species on land "have insufficient habitat for long-term survival" and are likely to go extinct, many within decades, unless their habitats are restored. The oceans are not any better off.
Conservation scientists convened in Paris to issue the report, which exceeded 1,000 pages. The Intergovernmental Science-Policy Platform on Biodiversity and Ecosystem Services (IPBES) included more than 450 researchers who used 15,000 scientific and government reports. The report's summary had to be approved by representatives of all 109 nations.
Some nations hit harder by the losses, like small island countries, wanted more in the report. Others, such as the United States, were cautious in the language they sought, but they agreed "we're in trouble," said Rebecca Shaw, chief scientist for the World Wildlife Fund, who observed the final negotiations.
Humans
Fifth Dynasty
Egypt
Several tombs and burials have been uncovered by archaeologists who discovered a 4,500-year-old cemetery located southeast of the famous Giza Pyramids.
The remains of two individuals were found in one of the oldest tombs, with the sarcophagi remaining intact.
Egyptian Ministry of Antiquities announced an analysis of the tomb's artefacts and hieroglyphic inscriptions revealed the individuals were named "Behnui-Ka" and "Nwi".
Inscriptions revealed Behnui-Ka was a priest and judge known as "the purifier of kings: Khafre, Userkaf and Niuserre" - all Pharohs who ruled Egypt during the Fifth Dynasty.
Nwi was known as "the purifier of King Khafre", although he was also known as "chief of the great state" and "the overseer of the new settlements".
Egypt
Cueva del Chileno
Bolivia
When José Capriles arrived in 2008 at the Cueva del Chileno rock shelter, nestled on the western slopes of Bolivia's Andes, he didn't know what he would find within. Sweeping aside layers of fresh and ancient llama dung, he found the remains of an ancient burial site: stone markers suggesting a body had once been interred there and a small leather bag cinched with a string. Inside was a collection of ancient drug paraphernalia-bone spatulas to crush the seeds of plants with psychoactive compounds, wooden tablets inlaid with gemstones to serve as a crushing surface, a wooden snuffing tube with a carved humanoid figure, and a small pouch stitched together from the snouts of three foxes.
Now, more than a decade later, Capriles-an anthropologist at Pennsylvania State University in State College-and colleagues have discovered that the 1000-year-old bag contains the most varied combination of psychoactive compounds found at a South American site, including cocaine and the primary ingredients in a hallucinogenic tea called ayahuasca. The contents suggest the users were well versed in the psychoactive properties of the substances, and also that they sourced their goods from well-established trade routes.
"Whoever had this bag of amazing goodies … would have had to travel great distances to acquire those plants," says Melanie Miller, lead author of a new study on the discovery and a bioarchaeologist at the University of Otago in Dunedin, New Zealand. "[Either that], or they had really extensive exchange networks."
Nearly every culture on Earth has dabbled with consciousness- and perception-altering substances. Indigenous groups from Central and South America have used hallucinogens such as peyote and psilocybin mushrooms during rituals and religious ceremonies for thousands of years. Archaeologists have uncovered hundreds of items that provide a glimpse into these ancient practices, but few are as complete as the Bolivian find.
In 2010, Miller joined the team to help chemically analyze the items, which had been nearly perfectly preserved in the arid conditions of the 4000-meter-high mountains. Radiocarbon dating revealed that the outer bag was made around 1000 C.E. Next, Miller carefully unwound the fox snout pouch and emptied its dust and debris onto a piece of aluminum foil. Using a technique frequently used in modern illicit drug testing called liquid chromatography tandem mass spectrometry, she and her fellow researchers hunted for chemical signatures in the sample. They identified at least five psychoactive substances: cocaine, benzoylecgonine, bufotenine, harmine, and dimethyltryptamine.
Bolivia
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