Someone stealing your domain name is the best possible excuse for why you haven't updated your site lately.
Rather than deal with the cyberputz, I've simply bought a new domain name and am currently in the process of FTPing my entire old site there.
All the links don't work yet because the structure is different, but please be aware of the existence of...
.com
That's http://www.dareland.com, where you will now find Emulsional Problems, Satan for President in 2008, and lots of other goofy stuff.
Disinfotainment Today is now at http://www.dareland.com/disinfotainmenttoday/ so please update your links. If you find something wrong, and I know you will, please tell someone about it.
The Real Question
It's safe to say that I don't think there's any such thing as objective criteria, but who wants to play it safe, not me, so let's just say there IS such a thing as objective criteria and leave it at that.
It's also safe to say that I don't think anything should be left at that, but safety is for morons, so let's just say if you find anything, leave it there.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about trust, basically because I'm being bombarded with spam from "Rev. Daniel Arinze" with the subject line "can I trust you?" An evil stranger trying to con me by posing as a reverend and asking if they can trust me. One hesitates to imagine how many replies this devout clergyman has gotten saying Hey buddy, no, you see, actually the question should be, and listen closely, NOT if you can trust me, but in fact if I can trust you, even an itty-bitty bit. Such sinners betraying the obvious have, in fact, fallen into a different trap. They've verified the email address by replying, making it more valuable in the world of those who devote their lives to making lists to sell to other con artists who worry if they can trust you, like Rev. Daniel Arinze, bless his soul.
And thus, Simba, the circle of trust unfolds around you, every end simply another beginning, the yin of the con artist vs. the yang of the enlightened, fact vs. fiction, one hesitates to say truth vs. one hesitates to say the opposite. There's always going to be someone trying to take advantage of you, just as those who take advantage will usually be able to find another sucker.
Can you trust me? I don't know. Sometimes I'm cranking out bullshit for no other reason than it's fun. Come to think of it, Cranking out the Bullshit is a weekly column I might consider writing if I was in the right mood. Just crank it out, Buckwheat, and don't let 'em see the size of your shovel.
Rick came back. Whenever I tell him a tall tale, he asks where I read that. Of course I don't remember, but the real question is can he trust me, have I checked the veracity of the ridiculous statement I made? Actually that's not the real real question, but that doesn't mean I won't keep looking for it. Real questions hide in ridiculous places, including the headline of this article, causing odd occurrences of ridiculitis, a real disease, people, don't trust me about it, just look it up. I don't care what the official symptoms are, if it's called ridiculitis, I know I've got it.
You knew I'd eventually get back to the subject. See? You can trust me, but usually to change the subject. In any case, Ridiculitis is also a column I could crank out by the dozen if it weren't for the fact that people with spinal ridiculitis might think I was making fun of them. Ah yes, to be known for making fun of cripples. Tis a consummation devoutly to be missed.
So let's just say you're me and you get an email claiming eggplant cures arthritis and "they" don't want you to know. The most impressive part of that statement is "They don't want you to know," because if "they" means the pharmaceutical industry and "don't want you to know" means something you can pick up at the supermarket that can cure cancer, why then a billion dollar anti-cancer industry would join Enron in the scrapheap of corporate malfeasance, proving the iron-clad rule that including a fact in your bullshit decreases the smell.
Let's just always assume they're lying, whoever they are. Am I supposed to jump up and down and shout Golly Gee or follow the link to the obscure study done by an obscure doctor showing that under certain conditions, extract of eggplant has been known to do medical wonders. I've got to weigh the evidence before me against the very real possibility that some Karl Rove of the eggplant industry has planted this story along with his eggplant this week, simply hawking a product that might either do nothing or perpetually perforate your pituitary, according to another obscure study by another obscure doctor who digs alliteration and whose results they DEFINITELY don't want you to know about.
The real question is do I pass it along, this rumor, this gossip, this bit of hope with potentially hazardous consequences vs. helping people with nothing to lose. But only if there IS a real question, which I must maintain there isn't, except in the headline of this article. All questions are false to a certain degree. Take the question "Why are unicorns hollow?" Is that a real question? The question assumes you believe in unicorns, and if you answer it, you do. Some questions cause brain damage if you answer them, often questions as simple as Can I trust you or What's the real question?
Whenever anyone asks whether any particular news item is true, I can only say good for you, you should always ask whether ANY particular news item is true. Did I personally check it out? Did I interview the doctor? Examine actual copies of the study? Get cancer and be saved by eggplant? Nope. Not a one. But I'm a little less in the dark than those who don't even know these claims exist. I admit to the possibility, another column, Admitting Possibilities, but get someone else to write it, I'm too busy.
And not just news items. You should check out things in your personal life too. Don't go believing everything you see or hear or read, including this sentence and whoever wrote it.
Here's another rule. Just because you do something doesn't mean what happens next is a result of what you did. Just because your cancer went away after enjoying a hearty Eggplant Parmesan doesn't mean the recipe had anything to do with it, and if you pray to Jesus, "Please give me a Grammy" and you get a Grammy, that doesn't actually prove that Jesus had anything to do with it either, but you may as well thank him just in case. If there really were a Jesus, I'm sure he'd be really pissed if he went to all the trouble of coming back from the dead to help someone win a Grammy and they didn't bother to thank him for it in their speech.
Only fiction can show life with any structure, but this is journalism so I can let it do anything. Stories begin where the storyteller decides and only end because they stop. Everyone knows that after the story "ended," Snow White sued Prince Charming for sexual harassment, got half his kingdom in the settlement, and ruled the dwarves with an iron fist for the rest of her days.
Here's the real question. If you take a puff from a smokeless pipe and exhale into a bag so the smoke never enters the atmosphere as second hand smoke, can they still bust you for smoking in a restaurant, and if they did, would you let Gloria Leonard defend you (thinking she was Gloria Allred), would CBS make a movie of the week about it, and who would play you?
Yes, Virginia, unicorns are hollow. You can take it from me and you will.
"It is a tedious cliché (and, unlike many clichés, it isn't even true) that science concerns itself with how questions, but only theology is equipped to answer why questions. What on earth is a why question? Not every English sentence beginning with the word 'why' is a legitimate question. Why are unicorns hollow? Some questions simply do not deserve an answer. What is the color of abstraction? What is the smell of hope? The fact that a question can be phrased in a grammatically correct English sentence doesn't make it meaningful, or entitle it to our serious attention. Nor, even if the question is a real one, does the fact that science cannot answer it imply that religion can."
- Richard Dawkins: The God Delusion -
"The outcome of any serious research can only be to make two questions grow where only one grew before." - Thorstein Veblen -
Stupid Question of the Week
Don'tcha think it's just gotta be Why are unicorns hollow? Nope. Too stupid. But please send me more unanswerable questions.
And while we're at it...
What's the best way to post your email address to a webpage without ending up on lists from computer spiders but still making it easy for real people to reach you? I've just decided to use "michael (the "at" sign) dareland.com.
notsoeasytoremember.com (C'mon, this one's the best. Somebody asks you your domain name and you say "It's notsoeasytoremember." They say "Don't worry, I've got a good memory" and you say "It's notsoeasytoremember." They say "I'll get a paper and pencil. Okay, shoot," and you say "It's notsoeasytoremember." They say "fuck you" and never visit your website.)
ifeelsomuchsafernow.com
instantheartburn.com
askdrhollywood.com
incredibleputz.com
noahveil.com
gesuntheit.com
lincolndoctordog.com (the individual words in book titles that have each sold the most books in history (other than the bible) are "Lincoln," "Doctor," and "Dog.")
"Ridicule is the only weapon which can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them; and no man ever had a distinct idea of the trinity. It is the mere Abracadabra of the mountebanks calling themselves the priests of Jesus."
- Thomas Jefferson -
"To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life."
- W. Somerset Maugham -
"1) The creation of the world is the most marvelous achievement imaginable.
2) The merit of an achievement is the product of (a) its intrinsic quality, and (b) the ability of its creator.
3) The greater the disability (or handicap) of the creator, the more impressive the achievement.
4) The most formidable handicap for a creator would be non-existence.
5) Therefore if we suppose that the universe is the product of an existent creator we can conceive a greater being - namely, one who created everything while not existing.
6) An existing God therefore would not be a being greater than that which a greater cannot be conceived because an ever more formidable and incredible creator would be a God which did not exist.
Ergo:
7) God does not exist."
- Douglas Gasking -
"Here is the message that an imaginary 'intelligent design theorist' might broadcast to scientists: 'If you don't understand how something works, never mind: just give up and say God did it. You don't know how the nerve impulse works? Good! You don't understand how memories are laid down in the brain? Excellent! Is photosynthesis a bafflingly complex process? Wonderful! Please don't go to work on the problem, just give up, and appeal to God. Dear scientist, don't work on your mysteries. Bring us your mysteries, for we can use them. Don't squander precious ignorance by researching it away. We need those glorious gaps as a last refuge for God.'"
- Richard Dawkins: The God Delusion -
"Santa Claus is clearly what Jesus would be if he was real. Nobody would ever consider nailing this omnibenevolent deity to anything, would they? Nor does he hold anything against you longer than a year." - Steve James: Unscrewing the Inscrutable -
"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."
- Aristotle -
"Anarchism is founded on the observation that since few men are wise enough to rule themselves, even fewer are wise enough to rule others." - Edward Abbey -
"One is not wise because one speaks much. He who is peaceable, friendly and fearless is called wise." - Buddha: Dhammapada 258 -
"If it weren't for my lawyer, I'd still be in prison. It went a lot faster with two people digging." - Joe Martin: Mister Boffo -
"Laws are like sausages. It's better not to see them being made." - Otto von Bismarck -
"One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards." - Oscar Wilde -
"Let's drink to the spirit of gallantry and courage that made a strange Heaven out of unbelievable Hell, and let's drink to the hope that one day this country of ours, which we love so much, will find dignity and greatness and peace again." - Noel Coward -
"I have only one superstition. I touch all the bases when I hit a home run." - Babe Ruth -
"The 'plaque buildup' of repeated wrong behaviors is a constant threat to all of us."
- Rabbi Eliezer Diamond -
"The man who writes about himself and his own time is the only man who writes about all people and all time." - George Bernard Shaw -
"Unambiguous ambiguity is the hallmark of philology."
- Rabbi Matthew L. Berkowitz -
"Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else?" - James Thurber -
"The power of accurate observation is called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw -
"Nothing is more admirable than the fortitude with which millionaires tolerate the disadvantages of their wealth." - Rex Stout -
"The truth is more important than the facts." - Frank Lloyd Wright -
"In those days spirits were brave, the stakes were high, men were real men, women were real women and small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri were real small furry creatures from Alpha Centauri." - Douglas Adams -
"It is well to remember that the entire universe, with one trifling exception, is composed of others." - John Andrew Holmes -
"I never know how much of what I say is true." - Bette Midler -
"Humankind cannot stand very much reality." - T. S. Eliot -
The Management Disavows This Acknowledgment (and the last one too)
Disinfotainment Today is apparently for free and seems to appear weekly. Go ahead, reproduce it daily, I dare you. Go ye forth and cut and paste and see where it gets you. Disinfotainment Today consists of information from oodles of sources, cut up, thrown in the air, and trod upon, just like my life, just like yours, just like America. Everything is everywhere, so I apologize if you're seeing the same thing twice, unless you like it, in which case good for me. If you see something that you feel should be attributed to you, or if you think I actually OWE you anything, please accept the fact that much of everything that everybody does is unacknowledgeable, and if everyone had to seek permission from all their influences, artistic progress would grind to a standstill. Legally, it's either satire or fair use, but should you be thinking of suing me over something, you should know it wasn't actually me who did it, it was someone else, unless you're Salvador Dali, in which case go ahead, prove it.
DEBUNKING THE DIMWITS (dailyhowler.com)
Three cheers to Kevin Drum for [a recent] post, called "DIMWITTERY." In his post, Kevin is "trying to remember all of the dimwit stories about Democratic politicians that have somehow made the jump to mainstream media stardom in the past few weeks.
Paul Krugman: The Green-Zoning of America (The New York Times)
One of the best of the many recent books about the Iraq debacle is Rajiv Chandrasekaran's "Imperial Life in the Emerald City." The book tells a tale of hopes squandered in the name of politicization and privatization: key jobs in Baghdad's Green Zone were assigned on the basis of loyalty rather than know-how, while key functions were outsourced to private contractors. Two recent reports in The New York Times serve as a reminder that the Bush administration has brought the same corruption of governance to the home front. Call it the Green-Zoning of America.
Beth Quinn: After first under on, do riding with civility! (recordonline.com)
In Beijing, the signs on the stalls for the handicapped in public bathrooms say, "Deformed man toilet." Such mysterious pronouncements are among the many mistranslations that appear in public places throughout China. It's called Chinglish, and it's long been the source of both mirth and bewilderment for English-speaking tourists.
"Bonzo Goes to Bitburg" Lyrics (clevelandjewishradio.tripod.com)
The lyrics to Bonzo Goes To Bitburg were written by the Jewish lead singer of the band. Bonzo refers to a nickname the president recieved from one of his past movie roles. Born Jeffery Hyman, Joey Ramone became a cult hero with the The Ramones. Their short , fast catchy songs were considered trend setting. The track opens with the sound of railroad cars and moves into electric guitars. The chorus of whoas, ooh and aahs, makes the catchy track work well. It is included on several greatest hits CDs.
zEN mAN (revelling in the celebration for the Dixie Chicks who won 5 Grammies on Sunday and were totally exonerated for their remarks about Gerorge Bush being a Texas embarassment back in 2003 which cost them dearly with Country music radio and prompted Toby Keith to pull some cheap shots to which the "Chicks" wore their infamous "FUTK" T shirts)
Looking to fill the entertainment void between the Golden Globes and
the Oscars? Try this year's Skinnies Awards! This roundup of
celebrity skin issues from last year includes none other than
overtanned Britney Spears; Scarred salesman Seal; Skin cancer
survivor Mr. T; Lush-lipped lass Brittany Murphy; The tattooed and
pierced Mayans from "Apocalypto"; Supporting actor nominee Jackie
Earle Haley; and James Bond's itchy rash, shaken not stirred. It's
happening live at skinema.com:
CBS begins the night with a FRESH'NCIS', followed by a FRESH'The Unit', then a FRESH'Without A Trace'.
Scheduled on a FRESHDave are Peyton Manning, Dan Horn with Orson, and the Cat Empire.
Scheduled on a FRESHCraig are Aisha Tyler, Harry Shearer, and Taylor Williamson.
NBC starts the night with Dateline', followed by a FRESH'Law & Order: Criminal Intent', then a FRESH'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit'.
Scheduled on a FRESHLeno are Dennis Miller, baker Marjorie Johnson, and Taylor Swift.
Scheduled on a FRESHConan are Eva Longoria and Lily Allen.
Scheduled on a FRESHCarson Daly are Guy Pearce and Regina Spektor.
ABC opens the night with a RERUN'America's So-Called Funniest Home Videos', followed by 'Primetime', then a FRESH'Boston Legal'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Kimmel are Ryan Phillippe and Josh Jutcherson.
The CW offers a FRESH'Gilmore Girls', followed by a FRESH'Veronica Mars'.
Faux has a FRESH'American Idol', followed by a FRESH'House'.
MY has a FRESH'Wicked Wicked Games', followed by a FRESH'Watch Over Me'.
A&E has 'CSI: The 2nd One', another 'CSI: The 2nd One', 'Dog The Bounty Hunter', and another 'Dog The Bounty Hunter'.
AMC offers the movie 'Boiling Point', followed by the movie 'Terminator 3: Rise Of The Machines', then the movie 'Commando'.
BBC -
[1:00 PM] As Time Goes By - Episode 5;
[1:40 PM] Are You Being Served? - Ep. 3 Up Captain Peacock;
[2:20 PM] Keeping Up Appearances - Episode 5;
[3:00 PM] The Benny Hill Show - Episode 43;
[4:00 PM] The Saint - Ep. 26 The Power Artist;
[5:00 PM] The Avengers - Ep. 5 The See-Through Man;
[6:00 PM] BBC World News - BBC World News;
[6:30 PM] Cash in the Attic - Ep. 39 Brown;
[7:00 PM] Cash in the Attic - Ep 6 Buchanan;
[8:00 PM] Whose Line Is It Anyway??? - Episode 1;
[8:30 PM] Whose Line Is It Anyway??? - Episode 2;
[9:00 PM] Doctor Who - Ep 2 The End of the World;
[10:00 PM] Doctor Who - Ep 11 Boom Town;
[11:00 PM] Whose Line Is It Anyway??? - Episode 18;
[11:30 PM] Whose Line Is It Anyway??? - Episode 4;
[12:00 AM] The Benny Hill Show - Episode 42;
[1:00 AM] Doctor Who - Ep 11 Boom Town;
[2:00 AM] The Avengers - Ep. 14 Something Nasty in the Nursery;
[3:00 AM] Touching Evil - Episode 1;
[5:00 AM] Sea of Souls - Episode 1;
[6:00 AM] BBC World News - BBC World News. (ALL TIMES EST)
Comedy Central has 'Scrubs', another 'Scrubs', last night's 'Jon Stewart', last night's 'Colberr Report', 'Chappelle's Show', 'South Park', and 'Gary Gulman: Boyish Man'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJon Stewart is Christopher Horner.
Scheduled on a FRESHColbert Report is Sheryl WuDunn.
FX has 'That 70s Show', followed by the movie 'White Chicks'<, then a FRESH'Dirt'.
History has 'Modern Marvels', 'Lost Worlds', 'Ancient Discoveries', and 'Man Moment Machine'.
IFC -
[06:30 AM] Stevie;
[09:00 AM] Woman on Top;
[10:35 AM] IFC News Special;
[10:45 AM] Garage Days;
[12:35 PM] Media Lab Results;
[12:45 PM] Digging To China;
[02:30 PM] Stevie;
[05:00 PM] Woman on Top;
[06:35 PM] The Dancer Upstairs;
[09:00 PM] City of God;
[11:15 PM] IFC News Presents: Spirit Awards Nominations Special 2007;
[11:45 PM] The Sleeping Dictionary;
[01:45 AM] City of God;
[04:00 AM] The Sleeping Dictionary;
[05:55 AM] IFC News Presents: Spirit Awards Nominations Special 2007. (ALL TIMES EST)
SciFi has 'Stargate SG-1', another 'Stargate SG-1', still another 'Stargate SG-1', and 'ECW'.
Sundance -
[07:00 AM] La Vie Promise;
[08:30 AM] Open City;
[10:15 AM] Georgi and the Butterflies;
[11:15 AM] In the Sun: Michael Stipe and Special Guests (Long Version);
[12:00 PM] Greendale;
[01:30 PM] Held Hostage in Colombia;
[02:30 PM] La Vie Promise;
[04:00 PM] In the Sun: Michael Stipe and Special Guests (Long Version);
[04:45 PM] Following;
[06:00 PM] One Punk Under God: Episode 3;
[06:30 PM] My Dad is 100 Years Old;
[07:00 PM] Open City;
[08:45 PM] X2000;
[09:00 PM] City of Men - Season 3: Episode 4: Hip Sampa Hop;
[09:30 PM] Summer of the Serpent;
[10:00 PM] Hero, The (O Heroi);
[11:45 PM] Amongst Friends;
[01:15 AM] Slut;
[02:05 AM] Cashback;
[02:30 AM] City of Men - Season 3: Episode 4: Hip Sampa Hop;
[03:00 AM] Vampyros Lesbos;
[04:25 AM] Saint Ange. (ALL TIMES EST)
U.S. actress Sharon Stone gestures during the 'Cinema for Peace' charity gala in Berlin Monday, Feb. 12, 2007. The gala, which takes place for the sixth time, will benefit children in Darfur and Tibetian refugees.
Photo by Michael Sohn
With a haul of Grammys Sunday, the Dixie Chicks topped their comeback from their 2003 Bush-bashing comment that turned them from superstars to pariahs - but Music Row isn't welcoming them back into the country-music fold.
"Most country stations aren't playing the Chicks, and they aren't going to start now," said Jim Jacobs, owner of WTDR-FM, a country radio station in Talladega, Ala.
The awards might have the opposite effect, sparking another radio backlash against the group. Country broadcasters said Monday that the group's five Grammys show how out of touch the Recording Academy is from the average country fan.
Country radio may not be ready to embrace them again, but the Grammy runaway suggests that a significant portion of the rest of the country has come around to their way of thinking. The resident's approval ratings are down, and his party was ousted in the midterm elections.
U.S. actors Forest Whitaker (L) and Richard Gere (C) and Danish director Bille August pose after the 'Cinema for Peace 2007' charity gala supporting UNICEF in Berlin February 12, 2007. The gala was held during the annual Berlinale film festival, which ends on February 18.
Photo by Tobias Schwarz
The mob epic "The Departed" and the road-trip comedy "Little Miss Sunshine" won top honors Sunday at the Writers Guild of America Awards.
The Writers Guild gave its award for documentary screenplay to writer-director Amy Berg for "Deliver Us From Evil," a portrait of families victimized by a Roman Catholic priest who admitted to sexually abusing at least 25 children.
The guild's other television awards included: "The Sopranos," dramatic series writing; "Ugly Betty," new series writing; Mark V. Olsen and Will Scheffer for episodic drama for the pilot of "Big Love"; Nevin Schreiner for long-form writing for the Sept. 11 drama "Flight 93"; and "Saturday Night Live," comedy-variety series writing.
Viacom Inc.'s MTV Networks, operator of music and entertainment cable television channels, said it will cut about 250 U.S. jobs to reduce costs and invest more heavily in digital businesses and new networks.
The job cuts are part of Viacom Chief Executive Philippe Dauman's restructuring strategy that included the departure of MTV Networks President Michael Wolf in January.
The cuts will be across the board and through several of its brands as the company aims to share resources across different properties, the company said.
Francis Ford Coppola will follow-up his directorial return "Youth Without Youth" with a vaguely autobiographical film, the director told The Associated Press Monday.
Coppola, who is currently putting the final touches on "Youth Without Youth," his first film in a decade, plans to next produce and direct "Tetro." The film will follow the rivalries born out of creative differences passed down through generations of an artistic Italian immigrant family not unlike Coppola's.
Set in Argentina (not Coppola's native New York), "Tetro" fictionalizes what Coppola calls his "very unusual family," which has been populated by artists since his father's generation.
Goodwill ambassador for the United Nations Children's Fund (UNICEF) and film star Mia Farrow administers an oral polio vaccine to an infant in the northern town of Birao, near the Sudan border, February 11, 2007. Farow is seeking to draw world attention to what aid workers call a 'forgotten crisis' worsened by spillover from war in Sudan's Darfur region. Picture taken February 11, 2007.
Photo by Giacomo Pirozzi
Bill Cosby's terrier bounced into the show ring, wagging his tail a mile a minute. Harry walked onto the green carpet at Madison Square Garden as if he had no competition - in fact, he didn't.
Of the 2,628 entries at the Westminster Kennel Club dog show, little Harry was the only Dandie Dinmont. So he merely needed to take a leisurely stroll to win best of breed Monday.
The 6-year-old Harry is royalty in the show world and fittingly, he's named for Prince Harry. He's playful and a bit of a mischief maker - much like his namesake.
He's also the No. 1 show dog in America, winning 57 events last year. And that makes him a top favorite at the No. 1 dog show in the country.
Three prominent journalists testified Monday that Bush administration officials volunteered leaks about a CIA operative, as I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby's attorneys sought to suggest he was not responsible for exposing her.
The jury in Libby's perjury trial heard a 66-second snippet of one of the deep background interviews given to Washington Post editor Bob Woodward for use in one of his books. They also saw a parade of Pulitzer-prize winning journalists discuss who did and did not leak the information that set off a scandal and ultimately brought Libby to trial.
Woodward, who never wrote about Plame, and columnist Robert Novak, who first identified her in print, testified that then-Deputy Secretary of State Richard Armitage first told them in the summer of 2003 that the wife of prominent Iraq war critic Joseph Wilson, Valerie Plame, worked at the CIA.
Another Post reporter, Walter Pincus, testified that then-White House press secretary Ari Fleischer "suddenly swerved off" topic during an interview to tell him of her employment.
Designer Steve Madden poses for a picture backstage before the DesignersForDarfur show, during New York Fashion Week Feb. 9, 2007. The show was held to raise funds and awareness on behalf of the Save Darfur Coalition.
Photo by Dima Gavrysh
Prince Frederic von Anhalt, the husband of Zsa Zsa Gabor, said Monday he plans to file a paternity challenge in court this week to gain custody of Anna Nicole Smith's infant daughter.
"I'm going to make the DNA test," he told The Associated Press in a phone interview. "If the court rules in my favor, I will go to the Bahamas and pick up the child."
Von Anhalt, 59, and Gabor, 90, have been married for more than 20 years. The news of her husband's alleged affair has deeply upset Gabor, according to Von Anhalt.
"She says, of course, if you bring a baby home then it's over," he said. "If my wife wants to divorce me then it's up to her. She definitely doesn't want a child in the house."
The Bush administration plans to cut funding for veterans' health care two years from now - even as badly wounded troops returning from Iraq could overwhelm the system.
After an increase sought for next year, the Bush budget would turn current trends on their head. Even though the cost of providing medical care to veterans has been growing rapidly - by more than 10 percent in many years - White House budget documents assume consecutive cutbacks in 2009 and 2010 and a freeze thereafter.
The proposed cuts are unrealistic in light of recent VA budget trends - its medical care budget has risen every year for two decades and 83 percent in the six years since Bush took office - sowing suspicion that the White House is simply making them up to make its long-term deficit figures look better.
A model wears an outfit by Indian designer Manish Arora during his catwalk show at London Fashion Week in London, Monday, Feb. 12, 2007. The designers are showing their Autumn/ Winter 2007/8 collections.
Photo by Alastair Grant
Smoking marijuana eases a type of chronic foot pain in people with the AIDS virus, according to a study published on Monday that the researchers touted as demonstrating marijuana's medicinal benefits.
But the White House drug policy office said the research was flawed and offered only "false hope."
The study, appearing in the journal Neurology, focussed on sensory neuropathy -- a kind of severe nerve pain usually felt as aching, painful numbness and burning in the feet -- associated with human immunodeficiency virus infection.
HIV-infected people who smoked marijuana reported a 34-percent reduction in daily pain from this condition, compared to a 17-percent decline among those who smoked placebos.
Local officials said Monday they are considering the construction of a giant mirror to light up this mountain village with 198 residents who are deprived of sunlight for three months each year.
The project would help illuminate parts of the southeastern Swiss town of Bondo that lie so deep in the Bregaglia Valley they do not receive any sunlight between December and February, said mayor Renzo Giovanoli, confirming a report in the daily Suedostschweiz.
The mirror would be similar to a 26-by-16 feet sheet of reflective steel installed last year in Viganella, an Italian town close to the Swiss border. Viganella, like Bondo, is dark during winter months because of its position at the bottom of a steep Alpine valley, blocked off from sunlight by the surrounding mountains.
Concluding that there is an inadequate supply of marijuana for medical research, an administrative law judge has recommended to the Drug Enforcement Administration that it grant a Massachusetts professor's application to grow the drug in bulk.
The judge's ruling is nonbinding. But officials at the American Civil Liberties Union hope that the recommendation to grant the application of Professor Lyle Craker will eventually lead to more research into the use of marijuana for medicinal purposes.
In June 2001, Craker submitted an application as a marijuana manufacturer to the DEA. However, the federal government limits the growing of marijuana available for clinical research to one source, the University of Mississippi.
Federal officials said that Craker's university, the University of Massachusetts Amherst, is free to compete for the next contract to produce research-grade marijuana for the United States. But there was no basis to add another producer.
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