Book Excerpt: James Thurber's 'Collected Fables' (FLAVORWIRE)
The Aesop-inspired Thurber fables were renowned not only for their absurdist wit and quotable morals, but their astute satires of timeless struggles. And thus, it seems appropriate (considering the kind of year it's been for the profession) to excerpt this story of the woes of working journalists.
Book Excerpt: 'Moving Foreword: Real Introductions to Totally Made Up Books' (FLAVORWIRE)
Everybody loves a good foreword - you know, those bite-sized introductory essays, in which an expert or admirer or maybe even just some random celebrity tells you all about their very personal connection with the book you're about to read. Entertainment writer Jon Chattman loves forewords so much, he put together an entire book of them, and since the foreword is the best part of the book anyway, he figured that's enough.
Gallery: "Penny Hardy's 'Blown Away'" (FLAVORWIRE)
British artist Penny Hardy works in hard, cold materials, yet uses them to convey warmth and emotion. Her creations, life-sized sculptures dramatizing the most extreme of human emotions, are crafted (according to her website) "from found bits and pieces of scrap metal, used to create a piece with renewed life and energy." The results are astonishing, works of raw power and striking ingenuity.
Andrew Tobias: Predictions for 2020
Asked to offer my "predictions for 2020" as part of a panel down in Charleston on the eve of this new year, I opined: "It's impossible to know for sure," I conceded, "but I predict that next July, in a brokered convention marked by unanimity over the inadequacy of good hotel rooms in Milwaukee, Mike Bloomberg will emerge as our nominee. He will ask Oprah Winfrey to be his running mate. She will reluctantly agree. They will narrowly win the Electoral College by 18 votes - and the popular vote by 18 million. So much so that cries of a 'rigged election' will largely fall on deaf ears. Nikki Haley will graciously concede. President Pence will step down promptly at noon, January 20, 2021. […]
"Who's on First?" is a comedy routine made famous by Abbott and Costello. The premise of the sketch is that Abbott is identifying the players on a baseball team for Costello, but their names and nicknames can be interpreted as non-responsive answers to Costello's questions. For example, the first baseman is named "Who"; thus, the utterance "Who's on first" is ambiguous between the question ("Which person is the first baseman?") and the answer ("The name of the first baseman is 'Who'").
The names given in the routine for the players at each position are:
First base - Who
Second base - What
Third base - I Don't Know
Left field - Why
Center field - Because
Pitcher - Tomorrow
Catcher - Today
Source
Roy, your Never Trumper friend in Tyler, TX wrote:
My first reaction to your question today was I don't know what the answer is, but then I realized that What was the guy on second base. Everyone knows that Who was on first. Well, as it turns out, my first reaction was correct! For this early in the day, that's quite an accomplishment! I Don't Know is the guy playing third base!
Alan J answered:
I Don't Know.
mj said:
If I remember correctly
. . . Iduuno.
Dave replied:
I Don't Know is the 3rd baseman. Bud Abbott and Lou Costello started working together on the burlesque stage in 1935 and were popular enough they did a lot of radio work, then films and TV. At the peak of their popularity ('40s and early '50s) the duo made two films/year, and had their own TV show. By the 1957 their popularity waned and they stopped performing together. In 1959 the 52 year old Costello died of a heart attack. Abbott lived until 1974, although he didn't work much after the duo's split.
Kevin K. in Washington, DC, replied:
Abbott!!!
I Don't Know.
Barbara, of Peppy Tech fame responded:
"Who's on first, What's on second and I don't know is on third."
Deborah wrote:
I have no idea - good one, Marty.
More sun and mild temperatures, for these parts. Lovely spending time outside.
Dave in Tucson said:
The third baseman's name? I don't know. Really, I don't!
Daniel in The City answered:
I don't know
Billy in Cypress U$A replied:
"I don't know" is on third base.
That is one of my favorite jokes of all time. I even used it as an example in teaching math.
Randall took the day off.
Micki took the day off.
Cal in Vermont took the day off.
John I from Hawai`i took the day off.
Harry M. took the day off.
Rosemary in Columbus took the day off.
Stephen F took the day off.
Jon L took the day off.
MarilynofTC took the day off.
Kenn B took the day off.
Michelle in AZ took the day off.
Ed K took the day off.
George M. took the day off.
David of Moon Valley took the day off.
Gateway Mike took the day off.
Leo in Boise took the day off.
- pgw @ nor cal. took the day off.
Paul of Seattle took the day off.
Saskplanner took the day off.
Gary took the day off.
Doug in Albuquerque took the day off.
Peter W took the day off.
Brian S. took the day off.
Steve in Wonderful Sacramento, CA, took the day off.
Gene took the day off.
Tony K. took the day off.
Noel S. took the day off.
James of Alhambra took the day off.
BttbBob has returned to semi-retired status.
~~~~~
Info: "Sonic Nightmare is an international trio with a monster (El Huergo), a demon (Faust Federel) & a churchman (Rev. Jesse Custer) playing instrumental horror surf music."
Price: Name Your Price (Includes FREE) for track, or for three-track EP
•
After witnessing a particularly good performance, balletomanes often throw flowers - which sometimes leads to problems. A balletomane once threw a "remarkably solid and heavy water lily" which hit Margot Fonteyn in the chest. Another regular ballet-goer discovered that flowers were easier to throw when they were weighted, so Ms. Fonteyn quickly learned to keep an eye in his direction whenever she came out for bows after a performance.
• A reporter once interviewed ballerina Anna Pavlova at her home, Ivy House, in England, where he was surprised by the scent of mimosa, because the mimosa tree was not in flower then. The mystery was cleared up where they entered the conservatory, in which stood a flowering mimosa tree.
Food
• Andy Warhol worried about gaining weight. He liked expensive Teuscher chocolate, but he never swallowed it. Instead, he would enjoy chewing it up, and then he would spit it into a napkin. Mr. Warhol also had his own way of eating in expensive restaurants. He said, "When I order in a restaurant, I order everything I don't like, so I have a lot to play around with while everyone else eats. Then, no matter how chic the restaurant is, I insist that the waiter wrap the entire plate up like a to-go order." Mr. Warhol then left the food in a place where a homeless person would find it and eat it. While Mr. Warhol was still alive, quite a few homeless people in New York found a Grenouille dinner on a window ledge.
• Douglas Fairbanks, Jr. and his wife once dined with Fred Astaire, who kept his head bent over his bowl of soup. They asked if something was wrong, and Mr. Astaire replied, "Can't you notice anything?" They said that they could not, and he said, "I've got a new toupee and I wondered if it showed." By the way, according to clothes designer Bob Mackie, Mr. Astaire always wore long underwear while performing his dance numbers in his many movies - the long underwear absorbed his sweat. Also by the way, Mr. Astaire was not a reader. He once asked his son-in-law about the story of Romeo and Juliet. His son-in-law explained that it was like West Side Story.
• At a hotel in Buffalo, New York, a couple of members of the Merce Cunningham dance troupe had a large can of sardines for breakfast on the eighth floor. They ate all but five of the sardines, which they then flushed down the toilet. On the first floor, dancer Sandra Neels went to the ladies room. Floating in a toilet bowl were two of the sardines.
• When David Niven, Jr. opened a restaurant in London - Drone's - he decorated it by putting baby pictures of famous movie stars on its walls.
Gays and Lesbians
• Do writers have rivalries? According to gay author Edmund White, the answer is yes. Long ago, gay author Gore Vidal dined with publisher Jonathan Burnham at the River Café. On the table were tall bottles of wine as well as tall bottles of olive oil. Mr. Vidal mistook a bottle of olive oil for a bottle of wine, poured olive oil in his glass, and took a drink. He sputtered and then said to Mr. Burnham, "You saw that and you didn't stop me. You want me to die so your writer Edmund White will be King Fag!"
• Rudolf Nureyev once went to a see a controversial play about homosexuality that was running in London's West End. During intermission, he went to the restroom. A reporter saw him, and sensing a story, asked him, "Aren't you Rudolf Nureyev?" Mr. Nureyev replied, "Not at the moment," then vanished.
Synchronicity? Last night Stephen Colbert referenced "Who's On First?" in his monologue.
Tonight, Tuesday:
CBS begins the night with a FRESH'NCIS', followed by a FRESH'FBI', then a FRESH'FBI: Most Wanted'.
Scheduled on a FRESHStephen Colbert are Rose Byrne, Bobby Cannavale, and Jamie Oliver.
On a RERUNJames Corden, OBE, (from 10/23/19) are Demi Moore, Maggie Gyllenhaal, and Jay Larson.
NBC starts the night with a FRESH'Ellen's Game Of Games', followed by another FRESH'Ellen's Game Of Games', then a FRESH'Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Fallon are Salma Hayek, George MacKay, and Ask "This Old House".
Scheduled on a FRESHSeth Meyers are Rachel Maddow, J.B. Smoove, and Caitlin Kalafus.
Scheduled on a FRESHLilly Singh are Adam Rippon and Iliza Shlesinger.
ABC opens the night with a FRESH'Jeopardy!', followed by a FRESH'mixed-ish', then a FRESH'black-ish', followed by a FRESH'Emergence'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Kimmel are Rachel Brosnahan, Greta Gerwig, and Taylor Hawkins & the Coattail Riders.
The CW offers a RERUN'Batwoman', followed by a RERUN'Black Lightning'.
Faux has a FRESH'The Resident', followed by a FRESH'Gordon Ramsey's 24 Hours To Hell & Back'.
MY recycles an old 'Chicago PD', followed by another old 'Chicago PD'.
AMC offers the movie 'Titanic', followed by the movie 'The Hunger Games'.
BBC -
[6:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - The Outrageous Okona
[7:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - Loud as a Whisper
[8:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - The Schizoid Man
[9:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - Unnatural Selection
[10:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - A Matter of Honor
[11:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - The Measure of a Man
[12:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - The Dauphin
[1:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - Contagion
[2:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - The Royale
[3:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - Time Squared
[4:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - The Icarus Factor
[5:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - Pen Pals
[6:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - Q Who
[7:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - Samaritan Snare
[8:00PM] THE PATRIOT (2000)
[11:30PM] THE PATRIOT (2000)
[3:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - Peak Performance
[4:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - Shades of Gray
[5:00AM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - Evolution (ALL TIMES EST)
Bravo has 'Vanderpump Rules', another 'Vanderpump Rules', followed by a FRESH'Vanderpump Rules', then another FRESH'Vanderpump Rules'.
Comedy Central has 2 hours of old 'The Office' and 2 hours of old 'Drunk History'.
Scheduled on a FRESHThe Daily Show is Ronan Farrow.
Scheduled on a FRESHLights Out with David Spade are Benji Aflalo, Marcella Arguello, and Rick Ingraham.
FX has the movie 'Passengers', followed by the movie 'Avatar'.
History has 'The Curse Of Oak Island', followed by a FRESH'The Curse Of Oak Island: Digging Deeper', then a FRESH'The Curse Of Oak Island', followed by a FRESH'Kings Of Pain'.
IFC -
[6:00A] The Three Stooges - Back to the Woods
[6:30A] Sinister
[9:00A] 1408
[11:15A] Underworld: Awakening
[1:15P] Underworld: Rise of the Lycans
[3:15P] Underworld: Evolution
[5:45P] Underworld
[8:15P] Halloween
[10:45P] Halloween II
[1:00A] Mystery Science Theater 3000 - The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy
[3:20A] Underworld: Evolution
[5:50A] The Three Stooges - Three Little Beers (ALL TIMES EST)
Sundance -
[6:00am] The Andy Griffith Show
[6:30am] The Andy Griffith Show
[7:00am] The Andy Griffith Show
[7:30am] The Andy Griffith Show
[8:00am] Road to Perdition
[10:30am] Silverado
[1:30pm] The Dead Pool
[3:30pm] The Professional
[6:00pm] Face/Off
[9:00pm] Predator
[11:30pm] Predator
[2:00am] Face/Off
[5:00am] The Andy Griffith Show
[5:35am] The Andy Griffith Show (ALL TIMES EST)
SyFy has the movie 'GI Joe: Retaliation', followed by the movie 'Ghost In The Shell'.
TBS:
On a RERUNConan (from 10/31/19) is Ewan McGregor.
Michelle Williams was met with rousing applause from the crowd at the Golden Globes on Sunday night when she made an impactful acceptance speech about women's rights.
Williams won Best Performance by an Actress in a Limited Series or Motion Picture Made for Television for her role as Gwen Verdon in Fosse/Verdon. It was the first public appearance for the 39-year-old actress since it was announced that she is engaged to one of the FX show's creators, Thomas Kail. The couple is also expecting their first child together.
While visibly pregnant on stage, Williams spoke about living a life "carved with my own hand" and the vital role that her right to choose has had in that.
"When you put this [award] in someone's hands, you're acknowledging the choices that they make as an actor, moment by moment, scene by scene, day by day, but you're also acknowledging the choices that they make as a person. The education they pursue, the training they sought, the hours they put in. I'm grateful for the acknowledgment of the choices I've made and I'm also grateful to have lived in a moment in our society where choice exists because as women and as girls, things can happen to our bodies that are not our choice," Williams said. "I've tried my very best to live a life of my own making and not just a series of events that happened to me, but one that I could stand back and look at and recognize my handwriting all over, sometimes messy and scrawling, sometimes careful and precise, but one that I have carved with my own hand and I wouldn't have been able to do this without employing a woman's right to choose. To choose when to have my children and with whom, when I felt supported and able to balance our lives knowing as all mothers know that the scales must and will tip towards our children."
One of the presenters, Tiffany Haddish, was heard yelling in support of Williams from behind her on stage, while the rest of the crowd erupted in cheers. The Greatest Showman actress then went on to urge women to acknowledge the importance of their rights while heading into the next election.
Greta Thunberg has faced her fair share of criticism - including from President Trump himself - for her urgent efforts to spread awareness about climate change. But after being called "brainwashed" by Meat Loaf, the Swedish teen took to Twitter to remind people that the climate crisis is "not about me."
The 72-year-old singer, whose real name is Marvin Lee Aday, discussed the topic of climate change during an interview with the Daily Mail last week, saying there is no such thing. He even called out 17-year-old Thunberg, saying, "She has been brainwashed into thinking that there is climate change and there isn't."
On Monday, the young activist responded.
"It's not about Meatloaf. It's not about me. It's not about what some people call me. It's not about left or right," Thunberg tweeted alongside a graphic from Carbon Brief. "It's all about scientific facts. And that we're not aware of the situation. Unless we start to focus everything on this, our targets will soon be out of reach."
Comedian George Lopez has been known to push the boundaries, but conservatives say he has gone too far with his latest quip about a bounty on President Donald Trump's head.
In response to a Instagram post erroneously claiming that Iran has offered an $80 million bounty on Trump after the assassination of Iranian Gen. Qassem Soleimani, the "El Chicano" actor wrote, "We'll do it for half."
Lopez's comment sparked immediate backlash among conservatives and inspired the viral hashtag #ArrestGeorgeLopez on Twitter Monday.
While many called on the FBI and CIA to investigate the comedian, others rose to his defense.
"Trumpers are outraged over comedian George Lopez's joke-Trumpers want PC comedy when it comes to their side but applaud non comedians like Ted Nugent who called for killing President Obama who was then later rewarded for threatening Obama by being welcomed to Trump White House," wrote radio commentator and lawyer Dean Obeidallah on Twitter.
On Sunday night, 60 Minutes took a deep dive into Jeffrey Epstein's death, which included pictures from inside his cell after his hanging, and graphic photos from the autopsy.
Epstein's death last August was ruled a suicide, but his autopsy photos tell a different story according to former New York City Medical Examiner Dr. Michael Baden, who observed the autopsy at the behest of Epstein's family. The photos from inside Epstein's cell show bed sheets fashioned into two nooses. Photos from the autopsy show a thin, bloodied line across the middle of Epstein's throat. It's these images that don't add up to suicide in Baden's mind.
It was also pointed out the noose in the cell appeared to not have any blood on it, and there were electrical wires in the cell that would have worked much better for anyone wanting to commit suicide.
60 Minutes also showed a picture of Epstein's broken hyoid bone, a small bone in the neck. According to Baden, this is another indicator that Epstein did not kill himself.
"I have never seen three fractures like this in a suicidal hanging," Baden said, adding, "Going over over a thousand jail hangings, suicides, in the New York state prisons over the past 40, 50 years, no one had three fractures."
Major new U.S. projects like highways and pipelines will no longer require federal reviews of their environmental climate impact under new rules that the Trump administration will propose on Wednesday, sources familiar with the plan said.
The proposed overhaul would update how federal agencies implement the National Environmental Policy Act (NEPA), a law aimed at ensuring the government protects the environment when reviewing or making decisions about projects that include building roads and bridges, cutting forests, expanding broadband to approving interstate pipelines like the Keystone XL.
The regulatory change would be the first in 40 years by the White House Council on Environmental Quality which coordinates U.S. environmental efforts by federal agencies and other White House offices.
The council is expected to announce that federal agencies will not be required to consider "cumulative" climate change impacts when considering federal projects, said two people familiar with the CEQ rulemaking.
The CEQ is also expected to limit the scope of projects that would trigger stringent environmental reviews called environmental impact studies, expand the number of project categories that can be excluded from NEPA reviews and allow companies or project developers to conduct their own environmental assessments, the sources said.
There's a unique set of targets Iran is likely eyeing as it contemplates retaliation for the U.S. killing of a top Iranian general in Iraq on Jan. 2: Trump Organization properties in 11 countries outside the United States.
President Trump (R-Corrupt)'s real-estate company owns or manages buildings bearing the Trump name in Canada, Dubai, India, Indonesia, Ireland, the Philippines, Scotland, South Korea, St. Martin, Turkey and Uruguay. Those properties are all listed on the company's website.
"[Iran] will look for the most opportune chance to strike back in a way that hurts President Trump personally," Iran scholar Suzanne Maloney of the Brookings Institution said on a recent Lawfare podcast. "I will assume security around any Trump property is enhanced."
An Iranian attack on a Trump property in the United States would be an overt act of terrorism likely to trigger an aggressive U.S. military response that could be devastating for Iran. It might also generate domestic support for Trump and help him get reelected if it occurred before the November election. If Iran denied responsibility for such an attack, suspicion would fall on them anyway and it might not matter.
An attack on a Trump property outside the United States might be different, since the United States wouldn't automatically be able to characterize it as a violation of U.S. sovereignty. Foreign investigators might bungle the investigation into who did it. The United States could retaliate militarily against Iran as an ally, but that would be odd if it were in association with a country like Indonesia or the Philippines that isn't a normal military partner and might not even want U.S. assistance.
Scientists have discovered a unique form of cell messaging occurring in the human brain that's not been seen before.
Excitingly, the discovery hints that our brains might be even more powerful units of computation than we realised.
Researchers from institutes in Germany and Greece uncovered a mechanism in the brain's outer cortical cells that produces a novel 'graded' signal all on its own, one that could provide individual neurons with another way to carry out their logical functions.
By measuring the electrical activity in sections of tissue removed during surgery on epileptic patients and analysing their structure using fluorescent microscopy, the neurologists found individual cells in the cortex used not just the usual sodium ions to 'fire', but calcium as well.
This combination of positively charged ions kicked off waves of voltage that had never been seen before, referred to as a calcium-mediated dendritic action potentials, or dCaAPs.
Just like zits, volcanic islands don't last forever. Some are oldtimers, like the more than 20-million-year-old Canary Islands in the Atlantic, while others have already drowned, like some of the Galapagos Islands in the Pacific.
Why do some islands hit the longevity jackpot? The answer has to do with two factors; tectonic-plate speed and mantle-plume size, according to a new study published online Jan. 1 in the journal Science Advances.
These factors bode well for Hawaii, which was dealt a good hand in terms of lifespan, the researchers noted.
Volcanic islands form when hot plumes of rock rise out of the Earth's mantle, piercing the crust. As tectonic plates move, but plumes stay in place, more islands can form, leading to chains known as archipelagos.
To investigate, researchers at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology looked at 14 major volcanic island chains around the world. They looked at the direction and speed the islands' tectonic plates were moving relative to the hotspot underneath. In addition, the research team measured the length of each swell, which is formed when the mantle plume raises the seafloor around the island, making it shallower than the surrounding seafloor.
You have reached the Home page of BartCop Entertainment.
Do you have something to say?
Anything that increased your blood pressure, or, even better, amused or entertained?
Do you have a great album no one's heard?
How about a favorite TV show, movie, book, play, cartoon, or legal amusement?
A popular artist that just plain pisses you off?
A box set the whole world should own?
Vile, filthy rumors about Republican hypocrites?
wrote:
has returned to semi-retired status.
In memory.
