• When Joan Rivers broke up with an early boyfriend who was working on a Ph.D., she invented an interesting way of getting revenge. She scattered the pages of his doctoral dissertation all over the floor—the pages were unnumbered.
Signs
• Jimmy Durante opened a nightclub with a few friends as investors. Because they were low on funds, they bargained for a low price from a signmaker. The bargaining worked. Instead of paying $350 for the sign, they paid only $250. Unfortunately, when the sign was delivered, it read: “CLUB DURANT.” Mr. Durante protested to the signmaker, but the signmaker said adding the extra E would cost $100, so the club opened with a misspelled name.
• Comedian Bob Newhart put up a sign saying “Armed Dog” at his Bel-Air house. Many people look at the sign and don’t even realize it’s funny because they are so used to seeing signs that say “Attack Dog” and “Armed Guard on Duty.”
Straight Men
• Fred Allen, a funny man, played straight man early in his career. One show, he got off a funny ad-lib that the audience enjoyed very much, but which the comedian he worked with did not. The comedian was furious, and he talked to Mr. Allen in the dressing room after the show. While still carrying a toilet plunger for a cane and wearing a light bulb for a nose, slap shoes on his feet, and a mangy fur coat with big patches on it around his shoulders, the comedian told Mr. Allen, “I’ll be goddamned if I play straight for anybody.”
Believe it or not, Oliver Hardy regarded himself as a straight man for Stan Laurel. In addition to his modesty, Mr. Hardy was unselfish when it came to comedy. Once, a gag had been given to his character, but he pointed out that the gag fitted Mr. Laurel’s character better, and so the laugh was given to Mr. Laurel.
•
Telegrams
• Henny Youngman was having lunch with Jerry Lewis one day when Mr. Lewis, a very hot comedy star, was mobbed by fans asking for his autograph. Because Mr. Lewis was so busy signing autographs, he was unable to pay attention to Mr. Youngman. Therefore, Mr. Youngman was able to leave the table, go to the lobby of the hotel and order that a telegram be sent to Mr. Lewis, then return back to the table—all without Mr. Lewis noticing that he had been gone. When the telegram arrived, Mr. Lewis read: “Dear Jerry. Please pass the salt. Henny.”
• Natalie Schafer, the actress who played Mrs. Thurston Howell in Gilligan’s Island, did the pilot episode primarily to get a free trip to Hawaii, never dreaming that a TV network would actually pick up the series. One day, she received a telegram and starting crying. Because Ms. Schafer’s mother had been ill, her friends crowded around and offered sympathy. Ms. Schafer had to explain that her mother had not died: “No, no, no—the series sold!”
• Charles Lindbergh became an international hero as the result of a solo flight across the Atlantic. A few days after Mr. Lindbergh had triumphantly landed in LeBourget in France and made headlines throughout the United States and Europe, humorist Robert Benchley sent a telegram to Charles Brackett in Paris: “Lindbergh left here week ago. Am worried.” Mr. Brackett cabled back: “Do you mean George Lindbergh?”
• A cigarette company once wanted to advertise on a radio series that would star humorist Robert Benchley. They wired him: “What do you smoke?” Mr. Benchley didn’t want to do the radio series, so he wired back: “Marijuana.”
• In 1948, many people thought that Thomas Dewey would easily defeat Harry S. Truman in the Presidential election. After the election was over, and Mr. Truman had won, Bob Hope sent this telegram to Mr. Dewey: “Unpack.”
In what musical does a smooth-talking, yet corrupt, traveling salesman try to convince the citizens of River City, Iowa, that they have trouble, and trouble starts with t, which rhymes with p, and that stands for pool?
In the adventure novel Treasure Island (originally The Sea Cook: A Story for Boys) by Robert Louis Stevenson, what is the name of Long John Silver's parrot?
Long John Silver is a fictional character and the main antagonist in the novel Treasure Island (1883) by Robert Louis Stevenson. The most colourful and complex character in the book, he continues to appear in popular culture. His missing leg and parrot, in particular, have greatly contributed to the image of the pirate in popular culture.
Silver has a parrot, named Captain Flint in honor—or mockery—of his former captain, who generally perches on Silver's shoulder, and is known to chatter pirate or seafaring phrases like "Pieces of Eight", and "Stand by to go about". Silver uses the parrot as another means of gaining Jim's trust, by telling the boy all manner of exciting stories about the parrot's buccaneer history. "'Now that bird,' Silver would say, 'is, maybe, two hundred years old, Hawkins—they lives forever mostly, and if anybody's seen more wickedness it must be the devil himself. She's sailed with England—the great pirate Cap'n England. She's been at Madagascar, and at Malabar, and Surinam, and Providence, and Portobello... She was at the boarding of the Viceroy of the Indies out of Goa, she was, and to look at her you would think she was a baby."
Source
Randall was first, and correct, with:
Captain Flint
Dave responded:
Captain Flint. Named after Silver’s deceased captain who buried the treasure, that could only be found with the map that Jim Hawkins discovered after Billy Bones died of fright.
Jim from CA, retired to ID, replied:
Captain Flint
Barbara, of Peppy Tech fame wrote:
The answer is Captain Flint.
Rosemary in Columbus said:
Captain Flint
Jacqueline answered:
Captain Flint
DJ Useo replied:
I still like that book. The parrot was called "Captain Flint".
Deborah, the Master Gardener responded:
Long John Silver’s parrot was called Captain Flint. Wiki is my friend when my memory is uncooperative.
Joe S said:
The parrot was Captain Flint I believe. I read the book several times when In was a kid but now I don't remember everything but I remember some things. I can't remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
Roy, the socially distant libtard snowflake in Tyler, TX took the day off.
mj took the day off.
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Doug in Albuquerque, New Mexico, took the day off.
-pgw took the day off.
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Micki took the day off.
Angelo D took the day off.
Harry M. took the day off.
George M. took the day off.
Gary K took the day off.
Roy the (now retired) hoghead (aka 'hoghed') ( Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. ~Frank Zappa ) took the day off.
Saskplanner took the day off.
Gateway Mike took the day off.
Steve in Wonderful Sacramento, CA, took the day off.
MarilynofTC took the day off.
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BttbBob has returned to semi-retired status.
~~~~~
CBS begins the night with a RERUN'NCIS', followed by a RERUN'FBI', then a RERUN'FBI: Most Wanted'.
Scheduled on a FRESHStephen Colbert are Dr. Sanjay Gupta and Anya Taylor-Joy.
Scheduled on a FRESHJames Corden, OBE, are James Marsden and Tim Minchin.
NBC starts the night with a FRESH'Zoey's Extraordinary Playlist', followed by a FRESH'This Is Us', then a FRESH'Nurses'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Fallon are Gwen Stefani and Ralph Macchio.
Scheduled on a FRESHSeth Meyers are Chelsea Handler, Maika & Maritza Moulite, and Chris Coleman.
On a RERUNLilly Singh (from 4/15/20) are Lauren Ash and Ben Feldman.
ABC opens the night with the movie 'The Lion King', followed by a RERUN'The Goldbergs'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Kimmel are Jim Parsons, Elizabeth Olsen, and Yungblud.
The CW offers a FRESH'Worlds Funniest Animals', followed by a RERUN'Worlds Funniest Animals', then a RERUN'Masters Of Illusion', followed by another RERUN'Masters Of Illusion'.
Faux fills the night with a FRESH'Gordon Ramsay's American Road Trip'.
MY recycles an old 'Chicago PD', followed by another old 'Chicago PD'.
AMC offers the movie 'Groundhog Day', followed by the movie 'O Brother, Where Art Thou?', then the movie 'Caddyshack'.
BBC -
[6:00AM - 11:00AM] STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE
[12:00PM - 7:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION
[8:00PM] ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES
[10:00PM] MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL
[12:00AM] THE WATCH - A NEAR VIMES EXPERIENCE; OOK
[2:00AM] ADDAMS FAMILY VALUES
[4:00AM] MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL (ALL TIMES ET)
Bravo has 'Real Housewives Of Dallas', another 'Real Housewives Of Dallas', followed by a FRESH'Real Housewives Of Dallas', then a FRESH'Watch What Happens: Live'.
FX has the movie 'Pitch Perfect 3', followed by the movie 'Pitch Perfect 3', again.
History has 'The Curse Of Oak Island', followed by a FRESH'The Curse Of Oak Island: Drilling Down', then a FRESH'The Curse Of Oak Island', followed by a FRESH'The Proof Is Out There'.
IFC -
[6:00am] Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Return - Wizards Of The Lost Kingdom
[8:00am] Drillbit Taylor
[10:30am] Summer School
[12:45pm] Kingpin
[3:30pm] Bad News Bears
[6:00pm] Zoolander
[8:00pm] Crocodile Dundee II
[10:30pm] Crocodile Dundee II
[1:00am] Zoolander
[3:00am] Drillbit Taylor
[5:30am] The Three Stooges - Back From The Front (ALL TIMES ET)
James Corden is getting back into his garage and Jimmy Kimmel is staying at home as surging Covid-19 numbers on the west coast continues to impact production.
CBS’ The Late Late Show and Jimmy Kimmel Live! – the two LA-based late-night shows – are filming remotely from today.
This comes after the Los Angeles County Department of Public Health urged the film and TV industry to consider pausing production for a few weeks during the ongoing surge in coronavirus cases throughout the county. L.A. County surpassed 800,000 total coronavirus cases with Mayor Eric Garcetti noting that a person is getting infected every six seconds.
The Late Late Show is moving from Television City to the Brit’s garage, while Kimmel is moving from the El Capitan Theater to Kimmel’s home. Conan, which has been filming at the Largo comedy club, is not back this week.
The New York-based late-night shows including The Tonight Show, The Late Show and Late Night with Seth Meyers return to their socially distanced sets as they have for the last few months.
In the first year without HBO’s “Game of Thrones,” a new TV series became the most-pirated show of them all: Disney+’s live-action “Star Wars” drama “The Mandalorian.”
The Jon Favreau-created drama came in at No. 1 on TorrentFreak’s list of the most-downloaded TV shows on BitTorrent in 2020, following by Amazon Prime Video’s “The Boys” in second place and HBO’s “Westworld” in third.
When “Game of Thrones” aired its eighth and final season last year, “The Mandalorian” landed at No. 3 on TorrentFreak’s rankings, while “GoT” was still wearing the most-pirated crown, as it had been for years. But this year, “Game of Thrones” didn’t even make the Top 10.
“The Mandalorian” (Disney+) “The Boys” (Amazon Prime Video) “Westworld” (HBO) “Vikings” (History Channel) “Star Trek: Picard” (CBS All Access) “Rick and Morty” (Adult Swim) “The Walking Dead” (AMC) “The Outsider” (HBO) “Arrow” (The CW) “The Flash” (The CW)
The list is dominated by a mix of streaming services (Disney+, Amazon Prime Video, CBS All Access) and premium and basic cable channels (HBO, History, Adult Swim, AMC), along with broadcast network The CW.
The BBC has declined to comment on a report that Jodie Whittaker is set to hang up her sonic screwdriver and quit as the 13th Doctor in the British broadcaster’s iconic sci-fi series Doctor Who.
The well-connected Nicola Methven wrote in the Daily Mirror that Whittaker’s departure is being kept under wraps while filming on Season 13 continues. If she does exit the Tardis, it will be in keeping with her predecessors who also completed three seasons before moving on to other projects.
The Mirror cited a Doctor Who source as saying: “It’s all very hush-hush but it is known on set that Jodie is leaving and they are gearing up for a regeneration. Her departure is top secret but at some point over the coming months the arrival of the 14th Doctor will need to be filmed.”
The report added that Whittaker’s co-stars Bradley Walsh and Tosin Cole will also leave the show to make way for a refreshed alien-fighting team. Mandip Gill will remain, while British comedian John Bishop is joining the cast. Showrunner Chris Chibnall will also remain with the BBC Studios-produced series, the Mirror added.
Whittaker made history when she became the first female Doctor in 2017. She followed in the footsteps of Peter Capaldi, while other previous doctors include David Tennant, Matt Smith, and Christopher Eccleston.
A veteran returned a sword he stole from a statue of a Revolutionary War general 40 years ago, telling the head of the Massachusetts town’s historical commission that he regretted taking it.
Cindy P. Gaylord, the chair of Westfield’s Historical Commission, said a man contacted the city hall saying he had the sword stolen from the town’s statue of Gen. William Shepard in 1980, the Springfield Republican reported on Sunday.
Gaylord agreed to give the man anonymity if he returned the bronze sword and arranged for him and his wife to drop it off at her home, she said.
“He had a great deal of shame and remorse,” Gaylord told the newspaper. “He is a veteran and told me the fact that he did this to another soldier troubled him. He wants the story printed to remind people that something you do in your youth could haunt you for the rest of your life.”
The man, who Gaylord described as a “great big bear of a guy,” told her he had worked at a bar in the town while he was enrolled as a student at Westfield State University. After a night of drinking, he and a group of friends went to steal the sword, which he said he wrenched loose with just his own strength. When they realized what they had done the next morning, they were not sure how to return the sword without facing consequences.
A group of Google engineers and other workers announced Monday they have formed a union, creating a rare foothold for the labor movement in the tech industry.
About 225 employees at Google and its parent company Alphabet are the first dues-paying members of the Alphabet Workers Union. They represent a fraction of Alphabet’s workforce, far short of the threshold needed to get formal recognition as a collective bargaining group in the U.S.
But the new union, which will be affiliated with the larger Communication Workers of America, says it will serve as a “structure that ensures Google workers can actively push for real changes at the company.” Its members say they want more of a voice not just on wages, benefits and protections against discrimination and harassment but also broader ethical questions about how Google pursues its business ventures.
The unionization campaign is the latest signal from employees who don’t believe the company is living up to its professed ideals, as expressed in its original “Don’t be evil” slogan.
Google said Monday that it’s tried to create a supportive and rewarding workplace but suggested it won’t be negotiating directly with the union.
A British judge on Monday rejected the United States’ request to extradite WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange to face espionage charges over the publication of secret U.S. documents a decade ago, saying he was likely to kill himself if held under harsh U.S. prison conditions.
In a mixed ruling for Assange and his supporters, District Judge Vanessa Baraitser rejected defense arguments that the 49-year-old Australian faces a politically motivated American prosecution that rides roughshod over free-speech protections. But she said Assange’s precarious mental health would likely deteriorate further under the conditions of “near total isolation” he would face in a U.S. prison.
“I find that the mental condition of Mr. Assange is such that it would be oppressive to extradite him to the United States of America,” the judge said.
Lawyers for the U.S. government said they would appeal the decision, and the U.S. Department of Justice said it would continue to seek Assange’s extradition.
Assange’s lawyers said they would ask for his release from a London prison where he has been held for more than a 18 months at a bail hearing on Wednesday.
A vast network of dozens of Roman Army camps have been discovered in a mountainous region of northern Spain.
The camps show just how big the Roman military was around 2,000 years ago during the conquest of the Iberian Peninsula.
"They reveal the intense Roman activity at the entrance to the Cantabrian Mountains during the last phase of the Roman conquest of Hispania," study co-author Joăo Fonte, a landscape archaeologist at the University of Exeter in England, said in a statement.
The remnants of the 66 camps, made for training and shelter, were discovered using remote-sensing technology. They range from small forts of a few thousand square feet to large fortified enclosures of 37 acres (15 hectares) and help explain how the Romans were successful in their 200-year battle to conquer the Iberian Peninsula from the native people.
The Roman army set up these temporary settlements when "moving through hostile territory or when carrying out maneuvers around their permanent bases," Fonte said. They were strategically placed to help soldiers ride out the cold winter months without leaving their posts.
Hundreds of people have flocked to the Washington DC area to catch a glimpse of a new, celebrated arrival who has offered some welcome relief following a bruising year. No, it’s not Joe Biden.
Excited birders have crammed into a Maryland park, braving rain and dismally low temperatures, to witness the painted bunting, a brightly coloured bird that usually reserves its elan for the warmer climes of Florida.
Word spread of the bird’s presence after a posting on the eBird website, causing a surge of visitors to the Chesapeake and Ohio Canal National Historical Park, found on a bend of the Potomac River, a short journey north-west of Washington. On Saturday, more than 80 cars were still in line to get into the park shortly before its sundown closure, the Washington Post reported.
The birders included Jacques Pitteloud, whose day job is Switzerland’s ambassador to the US. “To see it close to DC, that was absolutely unrealistic,” Pitteloud, who has been birdwatching since he was a young boy, told the Post. The painted bunting was “exceptional”, he added.
The unusual avian arrival is highly distinctive, with its brilliant blue head, red belly and flashes of green and red on its back. The bird spotted in the park was a male – the females are a more uniform green colour.
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wrote:
has returned to semi-retired status.
In memory.
