from Bruce
Anecdotes
Comedy and Comedians
• Comedian Myron Cohen loved to tell jokes, including these: 1) A man went to an expensive store, pointed to a one-ounce bottle of perfume on display, and asked how much it cost. The saleswoman replied, “$100.” The man whistled, then pointed to another one-ounce bottle of perfume on display and asked how much it cost. The saleswoman replied, “Two whistles.” 2) A woman was asked how she got her children to behave so nicely. She replied, “I give my seven-old-year $5, and he’s good. And I give my five-year-old $2, and he’s good.” She was then asked what she gave her three-year-old for him to be good. “Oh,” said the woman. “He’s like his father — good for nothing.”
• Phyllis Diller performs in a fright wig that has hair sticking up everywhere. Early in her career, she used to perform in her own hair. Once, worried about hair loss, she went to a specialist who told her that to stimulate hair growth, she should use a curry comb. She did, and it worked, but it made her hair stand straight up. She went out on stage like that one night, her hair got a laugh, and she started to use fright wigs in her act. In her stand-up comedy act, Ms. Diller carries a long cigarette holder, which she uses to punctuate her jokes. The cigarette in the holder is made of wood — Ms. Diller doesn’t smoke.
• The British comedy duo French and Saunders — Dawn French and Jennifer Saunders — disliked facing hecklers, and when they thought hecklers would be present they hurried through their act so they could get off stage and avoid them. Once, they went through their 20-minute act in five minutes. On another occasion, they didn’t get off the stage on time, so Ms. French used her day job as an educator to put down the heckler by using the persona of a strict teacher: “Excuse me, you prickhead there — now come on! If you don’t think it’s funny, then leave, but I’m not going to have this talking!”
• Early in his career, comedian Jay Leno met Rahsaan Roland Kirk, a blind African-American jazz musician. They worked together, with Mr. Kirk performing his black nationalist rap in front of a black nationalist audience that was thinking “Get Whitey” throughout his performance. Mr. Kirk then introduced the very Caucasian Mr. Leno as a “brother.” This had Mr. Leno worried, but he broke the ice by telling the audience, “Hey, maybe you haven’t noticed — Rahsaan’s blind.” The audience laughed, and Mr. Leno followed with a very funny set.
• American ballerina Nora Kaye used to dance in a satire called Gala Performance, in which she would make fun of flashy Russian ballerinas. One day, just before she was to dance this part, a real Russian ballerina danced in a flashy pas de deux (a ballet dance for two people). Ms. Kaye watched from the sidelines, then told the director, “Well, she’s already done the part, and short of taking my teeth out and tossing them over the footlights, I can’t think of any way to make this look like a comedy.”
• Monty Python member Graham Chapman was an original from early in his life. As a child, he once placed a chair in the kitchen sink, then sat on it in order to gain a different perspective. As an adult, Mr. Chapman was known for being late for everything. When he and John Cleese wrote sketches together, they would meet at one or the other’s house, and Mr. Chapman always managed to arrive half an hour late — even when they were meeting at his own house.
• Stand-up comedian Jay Leno once worked at Cleveland’s Front Row Theater. He tried to get a room at a nearby motel, but the manager’s wife explained that all the rooms were booked. Just then, a loud commotion arose, caused by the motel manager yelling at and kicking out musician Stephen Stills. Mr. Stills said, “Hey, Jay.” Mr. Leno said, “Hey, Stephen.” The manager’s wife said, “I think something just opened up.”
• Lord Buckley was a 1950s comedian who said pretty much whatever he wanted, whether the audience wanted to hear it or not. Once, a big man started to heckle him, so Lord Buckley asked him to step outside. They did, and a few minutes later, the two men returned. The heckler was unharmed, but Lord Buckley had been stomped. Lord Buckley then continued his act as if nothing had happened.
***
© Copyright Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved
***
Boredom is Anti-Life: 250 Anecdotes and Stories — Buy
Boredom is Anti-Life: 250 Anecdotes and Stories — Buy The Paperback
Boredom is Anti-Life: 250 Anecdotes and Stories — Buy Kindle
Boredom is Anti-Life: 250 Anecdotes and Stories — Buy Apple
Boredom is Anti-Life: 250 Anecdotes and Stories — Buy Barnes and Noble
Boredom is Anti-Life: 250 Anecdotes and Stories — Buy Kobo
Boredom is Anti-Life: 250 Anecdotes and Stories — Buy Smashwords: Many Formats, Including PDF
Presenting
Michael Egan
has returned to semi-retired status.
In memory.
BRUCE'S RECOMMENDATION
BANDCAMP MUSIC
BRUCE'S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC
Music: "Everybody Loves You"
EP: READY FOR THE NEXT RIDE
Artist: Pfeffer Holstein
Artist Location: Elmshorn, Germany
Info:
Price: €5 (EURO) for five-track EP
Genre: Rock. Pop. Rockabilly.
Links:
READY FOR THE NEXT RIDE
Pfeffer Holstein on Bandcamp
Pfeffer Holstein on YouTube
Other Links:
Bruce’s Music Recommendations: FREE pdfs
David Bruce's Amazon Author Page
David Bruce's Smashwords Page
David Bruce's Blog #1
David Bruce's Blog #2
David Bruce's Blog #3
David Bruce's Apple iBookstore
David Bruce has over 140 Kindle books on Amazon.com.
Reader Suggestion
Michelle in AZ
Stephen Suggests
Starcat Forever
New Venture
Michael Egan
Bonus Links
Jeannie the Teed-Off Temp
Reader Comment
Current Events
Linda >^..^<
We are all only temporarily able bodied.
Thanks, Linda!
that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Looks like Mike Lindell is going for a more sophisticated look, swapping his necklace for a lapel pin.
Prime Time Nielsens
NFL Football
Adele attracted 10.3 million viewers to a busy Sunday night special where she debuted new music, facilitated a marriage proposal and dished with Oprah Winfrey about her divorce and workout routine.
Sunday was strong for CBS. The late afternoon Green Bay-Seattle football game, with 22.7 million viewers, was the most-watched event on television all week. That helped “60 Minutes,” which directly followed the football game, to its biggest audience since January.
CBS led all of the networks with an average of 6.1 million viewers in prime time. NBC had 5.7 million, Fox had 3.83 million, ABC had 3.75 million, Univision had 1.5 million, Ion Television had 920,000 and Telemundo had 850,000.
ABC’s “World News Tonight” led the evening news ratings race with an average of 8.3 million viewers. NBC’s “Nightly News” had 7.1 million and the “CBS Evening News” had 5.2 million.
For the week of Nov. 8-14, the 20 most popular programs, their networks and viewerships:
1. NFL Football: Kansas City at Las Vegas, NBC, 16.74 million.
2. NFL Football: Baltimore at Miami, Fox, 12.92 million.
3. “60 Minutes,” CBS, 12.55 million.
4. NFL Football: Chicago at Pittsburgh, ESPN, 12.11 million.
5. “NFL Pregame,” NBC, 11.83 million.
6. “NFL Postgame,” Fox, 11.34 million.
7. “Adele: One Night Only,” CBS, 10.33 million.
8. “Football Night in America, Part 3,” NBC, 9.56 million.
9. “NFL Pregame,” Fox, 7.68 million.
10. “Yellowstone,” Paramount, 7.49 million.
11. “NCIS,” CBS, 7.32 million.
12. “FBI,” CBS, 7.17 million.
13. “NFL Pregame,” ESPN, 7.07 million.
14. “Young Sheldon,” CBS, 7.04 million.
15. “The Voice” (Tuesday), NBC, 6.85 million.
16. “CMA Awards,” ABC, 6.833 million.
17. “Football Night in America, Part 2,” NBC, 6.83 million.
18. “Chicago Fire,” NBC, 6.63 million.
19. “Chicago Med,” NBC, 6.46 million.
20. “The Voice” (Monday), NBC, 6.18 million.
NFL Football
Taylor Swift ‘Freaking Out’
Mr. Feeny
All weekend, Taylor Swift fans have been celebrating the release of “Red (Taylor’s Version),” including more than a few famous faces.
Now, another famous fan has joined the Swifties’ ranks: William Daniels, the actor who played beloved teacher Mr. Feeny on ABC’s “Boy Meets World.”
On Sunday, the 94-year-old made an appearance on his granddaughter Grace’s TikTok, where he had high praise for Swift’s re-recorded album:
“… Some things get better with age, like the wisdom of Mr. Feeny,” he said. “So, I’m here to tell you to listen to the new and better ‘Red’ by Taylor Swift, mostly based on the recommendation of my granddaughter Grace,” Daniels said with a smile. He closed his message with a double reference, quoting one of Mr. Feeny’s most inspiring lines and fan-favorite “Red” track “All Too Well” saying, “and as you know all too well, believe in yourself, dream, try, do good.”
In response, Swift excitedly commented, “My brother and I are FREAKING OUT, we’re huge fans!!! This is so awesome. Thank you! And thank you Grace!!!”
Mr. Feeny
Crypto.com Arena
Staples Center
The Staples Center is no more.
The iconic arena in downtown Los Angeles, which has been home to both the Lakers and Clippers since 1999, will be renamed on Christmas Day.
It will now be Crypto.com Arena, according to The Athletic’s Shams Charania and confirmed by AEG and the cryptocurrency exchange, the L.A. Times reported. The deal is believed to be the largest venue naming rights deal in United States history.
The arena, which is owned by AEG, is also home to the WNBA’s Los Angeles Sparks and the NHL’s Los Angeles Kings. The Grammy Awards have been held at the arena since 2000, too.
Crypto.com paid more than $700 million for the 20-year naming rights, according to the Times.
Staples Center
Censured
Gosar
Arizona Republican Rep. Paul Gosar (R-Waste Of Phlegm) has responded to being censured by the House by posting a #gosarlife meme of himself and re-tweeting the same violent anime edit that left him stripped of his committee positions.
Congress voted on Wednesday on a resolution introduced by House Democrats to censure Gosar for an edited anime video that depicted him killing Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. The video prompted Ocasio-Cortez to call Gosar a "creepy member I work with who fundraises for Neo-Nazi groups" who shared a "fantasy video" of himself killing her.
Gosar made a post on social media platform Gettr on Wednesday night, re-posting an edited image of himself complete with a heavy gold chain and shades superimposed onto his face. The image featured the words "GOSAR LIFE" — a reinvention of the #thuglife meme often used to highlight "gangster" or explicit behavior from teens.
Gosar captioned the image with the phrase "can't keep me down," and also made a video statement on the platform.
Separately, Gosar re-tweeted the same video that got him censured just hours after lawmakers voted to censure him and strip him of his committee positions.
Gosar
“The Past Is The Past”
Rupert
Rupert Murdoch (R-Evil Incarnate) warned that Donald Trump (R-Lock Him Up)’s obsession with the past could hobble conservatives as political tensions rage, a telling rebuke coming from the controlling shareholder of Fox News as some Republicans try to steer the former president away from his 2020 election grievances.
“The current American political debate is profound, whether about education or welfare or economic opportunity. It is crucial that conservatives play an active, forceful role in that debate, but that will not happen if President Trump stays focused on the past. The past is the past, and the country is now in a contest to define the future,” Murdoch said today at the annual meeting of shareholders of News Corp., where he is chairman.
Murdoch also serves as co-chairman of Fox Corp. with his son Lachlan Murdoch, who is CEO.
Trump has indicated he will undermine Republicans he considers disloyal on that front and threatened that his supporters may stay away from the polls. “If we don’t solve the Presidential Election Fraud of 2020 (which we have thoroughly and conclusively documented), Republicans will not be voting in ‘22 or ‘24. It is the single most important thing for Republicans to do,” he said last month.
Murdoch also used the forum to accuse social media giants Facebook and Google of trying to “silence conservative voices” and manipulating the digital ad market to the detriment of publishers, advertisers and the public.
Rupert
Volcanic Ash From 1912 Eruption
Novarupta
Volcano scientists issued an alert Wednesday, warning that a cloud of ash — from an eruption more than century ago — was headed toward Alaska’s Kodiak Island.
The ash is from the powerful 1912 eruption of Novarupta, a volcano on the Alaska Peninsula that dropped volcanic ash that is still visible today.
Strong northwesterly winds in the vicinity of Katmai National Park and Preserve and Valley of Ten Thousand Smokes on Wednesday kicked up the loose volcano ash.
Winds were expected to carry the ash about 100 miles (161 kilometers) southeast toward Kodiak Island, and an aviation alert to aircraft was issued for the low-lying event. Scientists estimated the cloud would not go above 7,000 feet (2,133.6 meters).
The three-day Novarupta eruption, one of the world’s largest, began June 6, 1912, and sent ash as high as 100,000 feet (30,480 meters) above the Katmai region, located about 250 miles (402 kilometers) southwest of Anchorage. The U.S. Geological Survey estimates 3.6 cubic miles (15 cubic kilometers) of magma erupted, about 30 times what spewed from Mount St. Helens in Washington state 40 years ago.
Novarupta
40 Million Years Old
Pinecone
Researchers with Oregon State University have discovered seeds sprouting from an amber-encased pinecone.
The phenomenon is caused by a rare botanical condition called precocious germination in which seeds sprout before leaving the fruit, according to the university.
George Poinar Jr. with the Oregon State College of Science published a paper in the Historical Biology that described a pinecone – about 40 million years old – encased in a Baltic amber, where several embryonic stems make an appearance.
He added that most typically those occurrences involve angiosperms. They indirectly or indirectly provide most of the food people eat, have flowers and produce seeds enclosed in fruit.
Precocious germination in pinecones is so rare, Poinar said, that only one naturally occurring example of this condition, from 1965, has been described in the scientific literature.
Pinecone
Ray Of Hope
Monarch Butterflies
There is a ray of hope for the vanishing orange-and-black Western monarch butterflies. The number wintering along California’s central coast is bouncing back after the population, whose presence is often a good indicator of ecosystem health, reached an all-time low last year. Experts pin their decline on climate change, habitat destruction and lack of food due to drought.
An annual winter count last year by the Xerces Society recorded fewer than 2,000 butterflies, a massive decline from the tens of thousands tallied in recent years and the millions that clustered in trees from Northern California’s Mendocino County to Baja California, Mexico, in the south in the 1980s. Now, their roosting sites are concentrated mostly on California’s central coast.
This year’s official count started Saturday and will last three weeks but already an unofficial count by researchers and volunteers shows there are over 50,000 monarchs at overwintering sites, said Sarina Jepsen, director of Endangered Species at Xerces Society for Invertebrate Conservation.
The Western monarch butterfly population has declined by more than 99% since the 1980s.
On the eastern side of the Rocky Mountains, another monarch population travels from southern Canada and the northeastern United States across thousands of miles to spend the winter in western Mexico. Scientists estimate the monarch population in the eastern U.S. has fallen about 80% since the mid-1990s.
Monarch Butterflies
| CURRENT MOON lunar phases |
