'TBH Politoons'
Thanks, again, Tim!
Earth Has Another Moon?
Jeff Crook
2001 Bone Monkey Moment, Jeff Goldblum Independence Day Flashbacks
da! Da! DA! DADUM!
An amateur astromer in Arizona has discovered a new
moon orbiting the earth.
Astromers agree that it wasn't there before, that it
had to have appeared in the last few months.
''Gee, what's the strange new object orbiting earth, Lance?''
Making The E-Mail Rounds
from Marian (the schoolteacher)
TRUE FRIENDS
Are you tired of all those mushy "friendship" poems that always sound good but never
actually come close to reality? Well, here is a "friendship" poem that really speaks to true friendship and truth itself!
Dear Friend:
When you are sad . . . I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue . . . I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile . . .I'll know you finally got laid.
When you are scared . . .I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried . . .I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to quit whining.
When you are confused . . .I will use little words to explain it to your dumb ass.
When you are sick . . .stay away from me until you're well again. I don't want whatever you have.
When you fall . . .I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.
This is my oath . . .I pledge 'till the end. Why you may ask? Because you're my friend!
Send this poem to ten of you closest friends (or else you will have bad luck and go to hell) and get depressed because you realize you only have 2 friends, and one of them is not speaking to you right now anyway!
P.S. A friend will help you move. A really good friend will help you move a body.
Reader Opinion
'Remembrances and Ruminations'
Remembrances and Ruminations
Date: Tue, 10 Sep 2002 22:06:08 -0500
I remember the events of 9/11/01 because they are burned in my head -
the images I watched along with millions of others on that day.
I carried a weapon with me for a week or so after the attack - "just in
case".
I tried to conjure up a generalized rage against all things middle eastern
to no avail. I just couldn't muster the hate.
Was I angry? You bet.
Am I still angry? Mos def.
Who should I be angry at? You tell me...
This "administration" is, if one were to be honest (increasingly
dangerous), simply put, a fucking joke.
The media has been effectively castrated and spews out pc pablum for the
masses who are more interested in who will win on 'American Idol or which
friend is fucking that cute friend. Waving a $5.99 flag (made in China) from the car antenna
is suddenly patriotism.
Businessmen who were lauded by Bush during the campaign have turned out to
be criminals, but it is danced around by almost everyone. No one is being held accountable in any meaningful way.
"Homeland Security" reeks of replays of McCarthyism, the playing
of neighbor against neighbor and further empowers Ashcroft, a man we
should fear and underestimate.
That's the short list. There's too much to mention and suffice to say the
best question for America is "What the fuck are we doing?!" When you break
it down it makes NO sense, unless you're aligned with the people who put
that MIMS in office.
Then we have the terrorists....
Why do they hate us?
We asked for it.
Not we really, but the powerbase, the rich, the powerful, in short our
current administration and the baggage that follows them around like a
stinking carcass.
Hopefully this is a one term affliction.
One can still hope, right?
I will remember the victims of 9/11/01 for what they are/were...victims and
heroes thrust into a nightmare.
God bless America (the real one you have to reach back to remember).
~~ Rob
Turtopia - Turtle rescue, rehab and rehoming
Thanks, Rob!
(Note: Edited for space, not content)
Event At University of Tampa
Greg Palast
When: Saturday, September 21st 7:00pm
Where: Falk Theater, University of Tampa
How Much: $10 advance, $15 door
FILM and SPEECH: UNPRECEDENTED: THE 2000 PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION
Not only the Tampa premiere of the new film, with the film's co-director Joan Sekler
(co-founder of The Independent Media Center) but also a speech by BBC
investigative journalist Greg Palast, author of THE BEST DEMOCRACY MONEY CAN
BUY.
Palast's speeches on WMNF's Radioactivity program have caused a
torrent of interest from listeners. The film is the riveting story about the
battle for the presidency in Florida during the 2000 election. It also tells how
Republican political operatives used their access to voting lists to
undermine the black vote.
This event is being sponsored by WMNF, 88.5FM
Thanks, Stevan
New TV Schedule - Season/Series Premieres
Thursday
(all times eastern) ABC 8 - 9 Dinotopia (Oct 10) * 9 - 10 Push, Nevada (Sept 19) * 10 - 11 Primetime Thursday (Sept 12) CBS 8 - 9 Survivor: Thailand (Sept 19) 9 - 10 CSI: Crime Scene Investigation (Sept 26) 10 - 11 Without A Trace (Sept 26) * NBC 8 - 8:30 Friends (Sept 26) 8:30 - 9 Scrubs (Sept 26) 9 - 9:30 Will & Grace (Sept 26) 9:30 - 10 Good Morning Miami (Sept 26) * 10 - 11 ER (Sept 26) The WB 8 - 8:30 Family Affair (Sept 12) * 8:30 - 9 Do Over (Sept 19) * 9 - 9:30 Jamie Kennedy Experiment (Sept 19) 9:30 - 10 Off Centre (Sept 19) Faux 8 - 10 Movies & Specials (Sept 19) UPN 8 - 10 WWE Smackdown! (TBA) * Denotes New Program
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
What a gawd-awful politically endorsed, media-constructed fucking national pity party, provided by the 6 remaining owners of our media, and deigned acceptable for our 'entertainment'.
By 8:15 (am), I was looking for something 'over the air' that wouldn't send me into to paroxysms of regurgitation.
Ended up watching Korean soap operas, an infomercial on cheesy jewelry, and finally fell into 'the Pat Boone Channel', KDOC, channel 56, from behind the Orange Curtain, where I caught up on
'Hawaii 5-0', the 'A Team', 'McCloud', and 'Saved By The Bell'.
While Jay on NBC celebrated all things republican, Dave Letterman had Bill Clinton as a guest. After more than 16 hours of the gawd-awful, politically endorsed, media constructed fucking pity party
it was beyond wonderful to see a real elected president, one who not only can form whole sentences, but also pronounce 'malfeasance' without breaking out in flop sweat, address things that should be addressed, and
still make sense. Koresh, he parsed like a New England mother, and never once missed a beat.
Couldn't find enough interesting photos for today's page, so decided to highlight the work of Tim from 'TBH Politoons'.
Today is not only somebody's birthday, it's also Alex's birthday, too! ; )
Tonight, Thursday, CBS has a fresh 2-hour 'Big Brother 3' followed by a rerun 'CSI: Crime Scene Investigation'.
Scheduled on a fresh Dave are Regis Philbin and Linda Thompson.
Scheduled on a fresh Craiggers are Tom Green and Morrissey.
NBC has reruns of 'Friends', 'Scrubs', back-to-back 'Will & Grace', and 'ER'.
Scheduled on a fresh Jay are Claire Danes, Robin Williams, and Coldplay.
Scheduled on a fresh Conan are Ice T and Bruce McCulloch.
Scheduled on a fresh Carson Daly are BB Mak and Topher Grace.
ABC has the movie 'Liar, Liar', followed by 'PrimeTime Thursday'.
The WB has the series premiere of 'Family Affair' (rumor has it Tim Curry shines as Mr. Finch), then reruns of 'Jamie Kennedy' and 'Off Centre'.
Faux has the movie 'Lost & Found'.
UPN offers 'WWE Smackdown!'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
#16
2003 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Nominees
The Clash, Elvis Costello and the Attractions and The Police are among the first-time nominees on the 2003 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame ballot.
Swedish hit-makers ABBA, disco pioneers Chic and the German electronic music pioneers Kraftwerk are also eligible for the Hall of Fame.
The Sex Pistols return to the ballot after not being voted in last year, meaning the hall could give its first nod to the British punk rock generation after two American acts, the Ramones
and Talking Heads, were inducted this year.
Longtime nominees Black Sabbath, whose lead singer Ozzy Osbourne reached a new level of television fame this year, are back on the ballot.
Other nominees include Australian rockers AC/DC, rhythm 'n' blues veterans the Dells, Detroit revolutionary rockers MC5, the Righteous Brothers, the Patti Smith Group, Lynyrd Skynyrd and Steve Winwood.
2003 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
Perp Is A Faux Producer
Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin
Apollo 11 astronaut Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin offered a spirited defense Wednesday as to why he decked a pushy filmmaker who wanted him to swear on a Bible that he really
did go to the moon -- self defense.
"The man had him up against a wall and was not letting him pass. All Buzz was doing was trying to get away from him. On the videotape of the incident, you can hear
Buzz asking for police to be called," his lawyer, Robert O'Brien, told Reuters in an interview.
Sibrel, 37, has admitted to ambushing Aldrin at the hotel and shoving a Bible at him so that he could swear he really made the second walk on the moon on July 20, 1969.
The filmmaker has made television documentaries and films debunking the Apollo 11 voyage, saying it never left earth -- a conspiracy theory that some critics
maintain gives conspiracy theory a bad name.
The police spokesman added that witnesses have come forward stating that they saw Sibrel aggressively poke Aldrin with a Bible and that Sibrel had lured Aldrin to
the hotel under false pretenses so that he could interview him.
Edwin "Buzz" Aldrin
New Theme Song By The Wallflowers
'The Guardian'
"The Guardian" will be rockin' to a new beat this fall -- literally.
Creator/executive producer David Hollander has snagged Grammy-winners the Wallflowers, led by Jakob Dylan, to record a new theme song for his CBS sophomore drama.
Dubbed "The Empire in My Mind," the song is a wistful midtempo tune that will be shortened to about 45 seconds as part of a new main title sequence (designed by Frances Schifrin).
Hollander said landing Dylan was a remarkably simple process: he just asked.
The Wallflowers' CBS presence this fall won't be limited to "The Guardian," however.
The band has already filmed a cameo appearance on CBS' megahit "CSI," which is set to air early next month. It will be seen performing a track from "Red Letter Days."
'The Guardian'
The Wage Slave Journal: George W. Bush Scorecard of Evil
Bug Viewers with 'Terror Alert' Crawl
Cable News Outlets
On the afternoon before the Sept. 11 anniversary, the Office of Homeland Security raised its terrorist-threat assessment from a yellow, or elevated, to a orange, or high, for
the first time since the system was instituted last March.
Paralleling the government's decision, news cablers also placed Americans on alert by posting a "bug," or a permanent screen display, that, in emblazoned orange, reads: "Terror alert: high."
As a move that will inevitably intensify the public's fear of an attack, however, it's difficult to figure out where the bug's public service ends and its sensationalism begins.
"It's our obligation to inform viewers," said one cabler's programming VP. "It's the same thing when local stations run a notice about storm warnings."
One contradiction in their mission, however, is that if, indeed, the bugs are part of a pure public service effort, then why not run the bug beyond the broadcasts, at least for the channel-flippers
who habitually jump in and out of cable news?
Another problem is the wording of the bug that CNN, Fox News and MSNBC are running. While the military and the government qualify the alerts as a "threat assessment condition," the networks have
gone for the more dramatic but paradoxical "terror alert."
"It's a pretty hot way of putting it," Rosenstiel said. "The word 'terror' and 'threat' aren't really the same. One word suggests horror and panic, the other vigilance."
Cable News Outlets
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
'Free Willy' Star
Keiko
Keiko the killer whale, star of the "Free Willy" movie, showed up in Norway last week and is awash in offers by retirement homes in Norwegian fjords -- free of deadly harpoons.
Keiko's trainers said Wednesday they were still hoping that the whale would some day be fit for the wild after more than 20 years in captivity. But many locals want the world-famous
orca to stay on, helping boost tourism.
Authorities in cooperation with the monitoring team are expected to decide this week whether to try to lure him back to deep waters or retire him in a quiet fjord in Norway. Killer whales live at least 35 years.
Curious crowds have rushed to the Skaalvik fjord in western Norway to see the people-loving animal.
But national fishery authorities, which have also received offers from locals around west Norway for Keiko to stay, see disadvantages to a whale as a tourist attraction in a nation
often criticized for hunting whales.
Norway, defying an international moratorium, is the only country in the world to hunt whales commercially. It kills minke whales for their meat, arguing that the stock is plentiful.
Keiko
Admits Wasting Perfectly good Jagermeister
Tom Green
Eccentric comedian Tom Green was so drunk after knocking back multiple shots of Jagermeister on "The Tonight Show" that he doesn't remember throwing up all
over the back seat of the limo that the show's producers hired to take him home.
Green's admission that his on-air drinking binge last June made him violently ill is at odds with statements made in June by his personal publicist.
She insisted back then that Green didn't suffer any ill-effects from the more than half-dozen shots of the 70-proof German liqueur he ingested while host Jay Leno tried to interview him.
This past Monday, however - in his first appearance on "Tonight" since June 26 - Green expressed remorse over what happened.
Tom Green
Lost Tapes Found
Glam Rock
A set of rare Top of the Pops recordings of some of the biggest stars from the glam rock era have been uncovered.
There are only four episodes left from the 1960s and it was not until 1977 that the BBC began to keep the show in its archives - meaning there is very little evidence of
Top of the Pops from its colourful heyday.
Now eight audio cassette tapes from 1974, featuring the likes of Slade and the Bay City Rollers, have been found thanks to a fan who contacted the new TOTP2 website (Click here to listen to the clips).
Although they were recorded by the rather crude method of placing a tape recorder in front of the television, as was common in the days before video recorders, the quality
is surprisingly clear.
Six clips from the show can be downloaded from the website, including performances from Bryan Ferry, Wizard and Suzi Quatro.
For more details, Glam Rock
Fire Strikes Movie Set
'The Pirates of the Caribbean'
A fire that broke out on the set of the upcoming Disney film "The Pirates of the Caribbean" was contained quickly with no injuries, a studio spokeswoman said.
The blaze caused about $300,000 damage to the set and $50,000 damage to the building, Burbank fire Capt. Ron Bell said. It was brought under control in less than an hour.
The cause was under investigation.
'The Pirates of the Caribbean'
BartCop TV!
Arrested in Malibu
Nick Nolte
A "drooling, droopy-eyed" Nick Nolte was arrested on suspicion of driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol on Wednesday after a police officer saw the actor's car swerving across a Malibu highway.
Nolte was taken into custody by California Highway Patrol officers in the Los Angeles area beach enclave shortly after they stopped the 61-year-old actor's black 1992 Mercedes-Benz and found him
apparently inebriated, CHP spokesman Leland Tang said.
Tang said Nolte, who starred in the 1986 film hit "Down and Out in Beverly Hills," was given a field test to determine if he was under the influence of drugs or alcohol and was arrested
when unable to complete it.
Nolte was taken to a nearby sheriff's station and would probably be held there "for his own well-being" at least until the actor appeared to be more coherent, Tang said.
"He was extremely pleasant and cooperative," Tang said. "Apparently there were even a few passers-by and one of the passers-by stopped and took pictures."
Nick Nolte
Hope For Republicans!
Genitally Challenged Men
Scientists in the United States have come up with news that may help millions of men -- they have succeeded in growing major parts of penises in the laboratory.
The test tube penile parts were successfully used to rebuild the members of rabbits who -- after rest and recuperation -- put them to the use that rabbits are famous for.
"They were able to copulate, penetrate and produce sperm," Anthony Atala, whose team at Harvard Medical School carried out the experiments, told New Scientist magazine.
He said the researchers were now trying to grow entire penises in the test tube.
The scientists had only been successful in growing the erectile tissues of rabbit penises -- not the entire organ -- and in all cases the erect member had the reduced firmness
of a 60-year-old against that of a more virile 30-year-old.
Genitally Challenged Men
Named Rock's Vilest Villain
mark david chapman
Mark David Chapman, the deranged fan who shot John Lennon to death, has topped a list of rock 'n' roll's most dastardly villains.
The roster of rock's 25 worst nemeses, published in the upcoming issue of music publication Blender, also includes Tipper Gore, the motorcycle club Hell's Angels and several record executives.
The other killer on the list is the Rev. Marvin Gay, who fatally shot his son, soul legend Marvin Gaye, in 1984. Gay, who was sentenced to five years on probation for involuntary manslaughter
and died in 1998, ranked No. 4.
R&B icon Ike Turner, the "husband from hell" who beat Tina Turner, ranked No. 2, followed by the Hell's Angels, who stabbed to death one fan and beat countless others with pool cues at the
Rolling Stones' infamous 1969 Altamont concert. Gore, wife of former vice-president Al Gore, ranked No. 7 for her efforts to censor music.
The tongue-in-cheek roster also lists "white people" at No. 9 for ripping off black musicians; Muzak at No. 21 for its bland mood music; and the pioneers of power flight, the Wright Brothers,
at No. 24 for the aviation deaths of such music stars as Buddy Holly, Stevie Ray Vaughan and Aaliyah.
mark david chapman
Legends & Truth
Bigfoot
People say that they look like monkeys. Monkeys make you smile, but a bigfoot strikes you with horror.
Russian writer Ivan Turgenev met someone that looked like a troglodyte. The horror of the encounter remained in his mind throughout his whole life. It happened, when Turgenev
was a young man. Years after, he told the story to his French friends. Here is what Guy de Maupassant wrote about it: "I remember a story that Turgenev told us. He was hunting
in a Russian forest. He was wandering the whole day and in the evening he went out to a bank of a quiet river. The river was flowing in the shadow of trees, the water there was
crystal pure and cold. Turgenev was gripped with a desire to swim in that water. He took his clothes off and jumped in the river. He was a tall, strong, well-built man, and he
was a very good swimmer too. He was enjoying the current of the river with his body and soul. Grass and aquatic plants were caressing him. Suddenly, someone's hand touched his
shoulder. He looked around quickly and saw a strange creature.
The creature was gazing at him with great curiosity. It looked like something in between a woman and a monkey. The
creature had a wrinkled face of a monkey's mimicry. Messy red hair was framing the face and blowing behind the back. Turgenev was flabbergasted. Horror chilled him to the bone.
He started swimming to a bank of the river, even not trying to understand, what he just saw. However, the creature was swimming beside him, touching his neck and back and feet.
Finally, the young man reached the ground and ran as fast as he could. He did not care about either his clothes, or rifle. He forgot about everything and was guided only by the
immense uncontrollable wish to stay alive. The monster was following him. It was running very fast too, uttering some squealing sounds. The young man could hardly catch his breath.
He was about to fall down on the ground, but he suddenly saw a boy with a whip in his hands. The boy started whipping the creature and it ran away, yelling with pain." The courage
of the little shepherd is explained with the fact that it was not the first time that he saw it.
Later, someone of local residents told Turgenev that the monster was a crazy woman that was living alone in the forest and went completely insane. Turgenev made himself
believe in such an explanation. Yet, it was known in the 19th century that people do not get covered with thick hair all over their bodies, even if they lived alone in the woods."
According to eyewitness's stories, a bigfoot looks something like a big monkey. Most likely, it is not quite true. There are always a lot of people in front of monkey
cages in zoos. Adults and children laugh and smile, when they see the mocking similarity. Yet, a troglodyte never brings a smile on your face. It brings horror.
For more hints on how to tell a monkey from a troglodyte from a Bigfoot.
In Memory
Kim Hunter
Kim Hunter, the versatile actress who won a supporting Oscar in 1951 as the long-suffering Stella in
"A Streetcar Named Desire" and appeared in three "Planet of the Apes" movies, died Wednesday. She was 79.
Hunter died in her Greenwich Village apartment of an apparent heart attack, said her daughter, Kathryn Emmett.
A shy, modest person, Hunter enjoyed a long and busy career in theater and television, less so in films, partly because she was blacklisted during the red-hunting 1950s and didn't fit the sexpot pattern for female Hollywood stars.
"A Streetcar Named Desire" provided the highlight of her career. The play was cast with Marlon Brando as Stanley Kowalski, Karl Malden as Mitch, and Jessica Tandy as the tragic Blanche DuBois. Director Elia Kazan admitted in his
autobiography, "A Life," that he had trouble casting Stella "because I enjoy looking at girls."
He added of Hunter: "The minute I saw her I was attracted to her, which is the best possible reaction when casting young women."
For "Planet of the Apes," Hunter was cast as Dr. Zira, a chimpanzee psychiatrist in the science fiction classic about a group of astronauts from a ruined earth who discover a future world ruled by apes, with humans as slaves.
She was enough intrigued with the character and the plots that she appeared in two sequels,
"Beneath the Planet of the Apes" (1970) and
"Escape from the Planet of the Apes" (1971).
After the "Planet of the Apes" movies, Hunter appeared on Broadway in "Darkness at Noon," "The Children's Hour" and "The Tender Trap" and toured extensively in regional theater.
Kim Hunter
Kim Hunter was also a regular on "That Was the Week That Was" (1964) (where I first heard
Tom Lehrer sing 'The Vatican Rag').
#15
'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
#8
