• Having dined well at the Trocadero, Robert Benchley strode to the door and asked the doorman to call him a taxi. However, the “doorman” said, “I’m very sorry. I happen to be a rear admiral in the United States Navy.” Mr. Benchley replied, “All right, then. Get us a battleship.”
• Comedian Beatrice Lillie was dining at a restaurant when a busboy dropped several dishes onto the floor. He started to pick up the pieces, but Ms. Lillie yelled, “Wait for the laugh!” The busboy—and Ms. Lillie—got a laugh.
• While comedian Jebb Fink was performing live, his microphone suddenly sagged in its holder. Mr. Fink got a laugh by ad-libbing, “Oh, the story of my life. It’s always going limp when I need it most.”
• Wilson Mizner often complained about the apartment where he lived. When his friend, Jim Tully, asked him why he didn’t move, he replied, “I can never find my other shoe.”
Advertising
• George Burns and Gracie Allen were quite successful at publicity stunts. In 1940, Gracie Allen ran for President on The Surprise Party ticket. She didn’t have a candidate for Vice President because she didn’t want vice in her administration. During her candidacy, Gracie launched a whistle-stop campaign that ran from Los Angeles, California, to Omaha, Nebraska. Many people are familiar with Pat Paulsen’s runs for the Presidency, but Gracie was the first comedian to do this. This was George Burns and Gracie Allen’s most successful publicity stunt.
• To advertise its Razzles candy, Mars Candy decided to use a Cleveland, Ohio, show in which comedian Ron Sweed, aka The Ghoul, hosted several mostly bad horror movies. The Ghoul criticized the candy for weeks, and the more he criticized it, the more its sales went up. In gratitude, Mars Candy delivered a case of Razzles to The Ghoul. The case of candy remained on the set of The Ghoul’s show for years—unopened.
• Mark Twain understood small print and advertising. One of his advertisements for a lecture tour consisted of the huge words “MAGNIFICENT FIREWORKS” followed by the small print “were in contemplation for this occasion, but the idea has been abandoned.” Another of his advertisements read, “The doors open at 7; the trouble begins at 8.”
• Peter Cook and Dudley Moore made the film Bedazzled (1967), in which the voluptuous Raquel Welch played the sexy role of Miss Lillian Lust. At first, Mr. Cook and Mr. Moore wanted to name the film Raquel Welch, so that they could enjoy theater marquees blazing forth this legend: “Peter Cook and Dudley Moore in Raquel Welch.”
• While working for the Ringling Brothers, comedian Bobby Clark carried a lot of luggage, although many circus performers travel light. When management complained about his excess luggage, Mr. Clark said that he was entitled to it because the circus was advertising him as “bigger and better.”
• W.C. Fields wrote the screenplays of many of the movies he appeared in, using such pseudonyms as Mahatma Kane Jeeves or Otis Cribblecoblis. He gave one of his movies the title Never Give a Sucker an Even Break, hoping that movie marquees would advertise it as “W.C. Fields—Sucker.”
Alcohol
• Vaudeville comedian Jim Thornton was an alcoholic. Once, he went on an alcoholic spree with another vaudeville comedian, George C. Davis. Although both men were alcoholics, they were different kinds of alcoholics. Mr. Thornton could stay drunk for weeks, but still keep himself shaved and clean. Mr. Davis, however, let himself go to seed. The two had drunk up all their money, and they needed more money to buy themselves alcohol, so Mr. Thornton asked to borrow $2 from a vaudevillian they met on the street. The vaudevillian refused to lend them anything, so the clean Mr. Thornton turned to the filthy Mr. Davis and said, “George, throw a louse on him.”
P. D. Q. Bach is a fictional composer invented by the American musical satirist Peter Schickele, who developed a five-decade-long career performing the "discovered" works of the "only forgotten son" of the Bach family. Schickele's music combines parodies of musicological scholarship, the conventions of Baroque and Classical music, and slapstick comedy. The name "P. D. Q." is a parody of the three-part names given to some members of the Bach family that are commonly reduced to initials, such as C. P. E., for Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach; PDQ is an initialism for "pretty damned quick".
Schickele began working on the character while studying at the Aspen Music Festival and School and Juilliard, and has performed a variety of P. D. Q. Bach shows over the years. The Village Voice mentions the juxtaposition of collage, bitonality, musical satire, and orchestral surrealism in a "bizarre melodic stream of consciousness [...] In P.D.Q. Bach he has single-handedly mapped a musical universe that everyone knew was there and no one else had the guts (not simply the bad taste) to explore."
Source
Doug in Albuquerque, New Mexico, responded:
Peter Schickele developed a five-decade-long career performing the “discovered” works of P. D. Q. Bach- a fictional child of Johann Sebastian Bach.
Kevin K. in Washington DC replied:
P.D.Q. Bach.
Dave wrote:
P.D.Q. Bach.
Mac Mac said:
P.D.Q. Bach
Adam answered:
PDQ Back
(I learned the incredibly useful phrase 'Ye gods' listening to PDQ in high school (the school library had one of the albums)).
zorch replied:
P.D.Q. Bach, the last and least of the Bach children.
Jim from CA, retired to ID, responded:
P. D. Q. Bach
Michelle in AZ said:
(PDQ) Bach
Cal in Vermont wrote:
P. D. Q. Bach!
Jacqueline answered:
P.D.Q. Bach
Deborah, the Master Gardener responded:
Oh, I want to say P.D.Q. Bach, music that I enjoy very much. Now I have a new Pandora favorite. Thanks, Marty!
I’ve been trolling some Parlers who have been baiting “libtards” on Next-door. I sent a couple of them over the edge with a line I believe I read here, I think submitted by Linda: Every time a tRump lawsuit is thrown out of court, an ange gets its wings. Heh.
Daniel in The City took the day off.
Rosemary in Columbus took the day off.
mj took the day off.
David of Moon Valley took the day off.
Barbara, of Peppy Tech fame took the day off.
Dave in Tucson took the day off.
DJ Useo took the day off.
Stephen F took the day off.
Joe ( -- Vote Blue, No Matter Who -- ) took the day off.
Ed K took the day off.
Roy, your Libtard, Snowflake friend isolating in Tyler, TX took the day off.
Jon L took the day off.
John I from Hawai`i took the day off.
Leo in Boise took the day off.
-pgw took the day off.
Kenn B took the day off.
Micki took the day off.
Angelo D took the day off.
Harry M. took the day off.
George M. took the day off.
Gary K took the day off.
Roy the (now retired) hoghead (aka 'hoghed') ( Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid. ~Frank Zappa ) took the day off.
Saskplanner took the day off.
Gateway Mike took the day off.
Steve in Wonderful Sacramento, CA, took the day off.
MarilynofTC took the day off.
Paul of Seattle took the day off.
Brian S. took the day off.
Gene took the day off.
Tony K. took the day off.
Noel S. took the day off.
James of Alhambra took the day off.
BttbBob has returned to semi-retired status.
~~~~~
This cracked me up. I want to send it to all my friends and family who left CA for TX, and/or still live there, because Tesla’s moved to Texas, Oracle’s leaving Silicon Valley for Texas, and my rabid anti-mask in-laws are all for a Texas secession. Even the ones who spell it “succession.”
After all, it's ONLY an Ed.D. that she earned--warning, I earned my Ed.D. several decades before Jill, but then, I'm OLD. I have ZERO tolerance for this Epstein asshole.
One of my proudest, fondest memories was watching my mother get her Ed.D. in the first group of Ed.D.s that Auburn awarded. Asked her, as she stood in line to get her hood, if I should call her Doctor Momma from then on. I was 9, and I was so proud of my hero! I determined then that one day I too would get a doctorate, and nothing in life deterred me from that goal.
Hate when it's 1am & I don't have a clue as to tomorrow's trivia question.
Tonight, Sunday:
CBS starts the night, as usual, with '60 Minutes', followed by the chestnut 'Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer', then a FRESH'NCIS: The Expendable One', followed by a FRESH'NCIS: The 3rd One'.
NBC fills the night with LIVE'Sunday Night Football', then pads the left coast with a RERUN'The Wall' and local crap.
ABC begins with the RERUN infomercial 'The Di$ney Holiday $ingalong', followed by a FRESH'Supermarket Sweep', then a FRESH'Who Wants To Be A Millionaire?', followed by a FRESH'Card Sharks'.
The CW offers a FRESH'Pandora', followed by a FRESH'The Outpost'.
Faux has a FRESH'The Simpsons', followed by a FRESH'Bless This Mess', then a FRESH'Bob's Burgers', followed by a FRESH'Family Guy'.
MY recycles an old 'Big Bang Theory', followed by another old 'Big Bang Theory', then still another old 'Big Bang Theory', followed by yet another old 'Big Bang Theory'.
A&E has the movie 'Olympus Has Fallen', followed by the movie 'White House Down'.
AMC offers the movie 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation', followed by the movie 'National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation', again.
BBC -
[6:00AM] CHIMP SANCTUARY
[7:00AM] PLANET EARTH: LIFE - PLANTS
[8:00AM] PLANET EARTH: LIFE - CREATURES OF THE DEEP
[9:00AM] PLANET EARTH: LIFE - PRIMATES
[10:00AM] RUN ALL NIGHT
[12:29PM] ROAD TO PERDITION
[3:01PM] PUBLIC ENEMIES
[6:00PM] GOODFELLAS
[9:00PM] GOODFELLAS
[12:00AM] PUBLIC ENEMIES
[3:00AM] RUN ALL NIGHT
[5:30AM] MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS - MR. AND MRS. BRIAN NORRIS' FORD POPULAR (ALL TIMES ET)
Bravo has 'Real Housewives Of Atlanta', followed by a FRESH'Real Housewives Of Atlanta', then a FRESH'Real Housewives Of Potomac', followed by a FRESH'Watch What Happens: Live'.
Comedy Central has the movie 'The 40-Year Old Virgin', followed by the movie 'Hot Tub Time Machine'.
FX has the movie 'Despicable Me 3', followed by the movie 'Dr. Seuss' The Grinch'.
IFC -
[6:00am - 8:30am] Saved By The Bell
[9:00am - 12:00pm] Three's Company
[12:30pm] Pale Rider
[3:00pm] The Man From U.N.C.L.E.
[5:30pm] Casino Royale
[9:00pm] Quantum Of Solace
[11:30pm] Casino Royale
[3:00am] Quantum Of Solace
[5:30am] Parks And Recreation (ALL TIMES ET)
Sundance -
[6:30am] monk - Mr. Monk Vs. The Cobra
[7:30am] monk - Mr. Monk Gets Cabin Fever
[8:30am] monk - Mr. Monk Gets Stuck In Traffic
[9:30am] monk - Mr. Monk Goes To Vegas
[10:30am] the birdcage
[1:00pm] roman holiday
[3:45pm] breakfast at tiffany's
[6:30pm] footloose
[9:00pm] pretty in pink
[11:00pm] groundhog day
[1:30am] ghost
[4:30am - 5:30am] hogan's heroes (ALL TIMES ET)
SyFy has the movie 'Transformers: The Last Knight', followed by the movie 'Hulk'.
“Play On: Celebrating the Power of Music to Make Change"
Kevin Bacon
Musician and actor Kevin Bacon is bringing live music back to venues that have been shuttered this year with an all-star concert TV special.
Bacon is the co-host and an executive producer for “Play On: Celebrating the Power of Music to Make Change," featuring Bon Jovi, Jon Batiste, Machine Gun Kelly, Snoop Dogg, Maren Morris and Sheryl Crow, at venues in Nashville, Tennessee; New York City and Los Angeles. The charity concert airing on CBS on Dec. 15 will raise money for the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund and WhyHunger.
“If some form of making music was your main form of employment before the pandemic, then chances are you really haven’t been able to work,” said Bacon, who has been performing with his brother, Michael, as the Bacon Brothers for more than 20 years.
The venues highlighted include the songwriter's hangout The Bluebird Cafe in Nashville, the famed Apollo Theater in Harlem and the storied Troubadour in West Hollywood. All these independently owned venues were closed to the public because of the COVID-19 pandemic.
Bacon, who used his own charity Sixdegrees.org to launch a campaign to feed frontline workers during the pandemic, said food insecurity and racial inequality are connected social issues, especially this year.
Banksy’s latest mural has delayed a homeowner’s plans to sell in England after it recently appeared on the house’s exterior wall.
The elusive British street artist’s piece — titled “Aachoo!!” — depicts an elderly woman sneezing, sending her dentures flying out of her mouth. It’s painted on the side of the house on a steep street in the southwestern city of Bristol. The resulting effect is that her sneeze appears to be knocking down buildings.
The creation was discovered on the wall of the semidetached house on Thursday. British media reported that the owners, who had previously put a “sold” sign outside, were pulling out of the sale, because Banksy’s art could send the property’s value soaring.
However, Nick Makin told the BBC on Saturday that it wasn’t true his mother, Aileen Makin, had taken the house off the market.
He said the sale has been put on hold for 48 hours and the family was trying to ensure the artwork would be protected.
Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's "WAP" has continued to dominate the conversation throughout the year, and it would seem Snoop Dogg isn't a fan.
The track, which has received positive response from critics and fans, but a negative response from conservative types, is apparently a little too much for the Doggystyle rapper. Asked for his thoughts on the song by Central Ave host Julissa Bermudez, Snoop suggested that it was perhaps too raunchy. "Oh my God. Slow down. Like, slow down, and let's have some imagination," he said of the song.
"Let's have some, you know, privacy, some intimacy where he wants to find out as opposed to you telling him," he continued. "To me, it's like, it's too fashionable when that in secrecy, that should be a woman's...that's like your pride and possession. That's your jewel of the Nile. That's what you should hold onto. That should be a possession that no one gets to know about until they know about it."
Snoop Dogg might have built a name for himself in the early '90s with some very sexually-provocative tracks of his own, but it would appear as though he's not as interested in that aspect of rap now he's gotten older. "Now, when I was young, 21, 22, I may have been with the movement," he said. "I probably would have been on the remix. But as an older man, I love it, that they are expressing themselves and doing their thing. I just don't want it that fashionable to where young girls express themselves like that without even knowing that that is a jewel that they hold onto until the right person comes around."
There's been plenty of conservative types quick to criticism the song, but both Cardi and Megan haven't let it get them down. "It pissed off a whole bunch of Republicans for no reason," Cardi recently said upon accepting Billboard's Woman of the Year award. "I know the Republicans have been having a bad year, and they probably had to take their frustration out somewhere," Megan recently joked in an interview with Stephen Colbert.
Apparently, Walt Disney World has been digitally altering masks on photos of guests who weren’t wearing masks but has now changed its mind after being questioned about the practice.
In a photo posted to a private Disney park Facebook group and shared by Walt Disney World Today, a rider can be seen with a digitally edited face mask. According to The Washington Post, a spokesperson for Disney admitted it did briefly add masks to photos of guests who either weren’t wearing them correctly or those whose masks slipped during the ride.
Since the parks reopened amid the pandemic, there has been a strict mask policy in place. As such, any riders who want to buy a picture of themselves mid-ride have to have their mask firmly in place in order to do so. Unfortunately, it seems the organization bent their own rule and when ride-goers’ pictures showed either no mask or one that wasn’t on properly, a digital mask was added.
The organization said it was trying out the digitally enhanced photos so that photos weren’t in violation of park rules.
Forty-two percent of voters say President Donald Trump (R-Grifter) will be remembered as "one of the worst presidents" in history, according to a new poll by Fox News.
An additional 8% think Americans will recall his presidential performance as being below average.
Among Democrats, a significant 69% think Trump's term in office will go down as a disaster.
Overall, the majority of voters - 54% - don't view Trump in a favorable light.
This can be, in part, attributed to the fact the majority of voters think the country is worse off than four years ago (54%). Additionally, the majority disapprove of Trump's handling of the coronavirus pandemic (55%) and dislike how he's handled immigration and healthcare (53%).
This is the first winter in five years that Steve Monk and his wife, Linda, haven’t driven to Arizona from their home in Prince Albert, Saskatchewan.
They typically leave Canada to hunker down in warmer climates for six months. They could fly, skirting travel restrictions at the border, but they’d rather “freeze their buns off” than go to the U.S., where COVID-19 infections and deaths are surging.
“It’s not worth taking a chance. It’s not nearly as bad in this country as it is down there," said Monk, 69. "Pretty much every Canadian person we do know that goes down (to the U.S.) is not going. It’s pretty widespread.”
“Snowbirds" like the Monks, often retirees who live somewhere warm like Arizona or Florida part time to escape cold weather, won't be flocking south this winter. For Canadians who drive, nonessential border travel is banned until at least Dec. 21. For some, it's fear of the virus.
Health insurance hurdles are deterring retired Toronto accountant Mel Greenglass, who for almost a decade has spent four months in southwest Florida near Naples. Canadian snowbirds must buy a supplemental plan to their government-provided coverage for any emergencies during their stay. It would have been $2,800 for him and his girlfriend this season, up from $1,800 previously, and he feared they wouldn’t be covered if they caught the virus.
A drone has been converted into a flying flamethrower in central China in a fiery campaign to eradicate more than 100 wasp nests.
Blue Sky Rescue, a volunteer group that conducts search and rescue and other emergency work, have teamed up with villagers in Zhong county near the city of Chongqing.
They raised 80,000 yuan ($12,200) to buy a drone and equip it with a gasoline tank and an arm-length nozzle.
Videos released by Blue Sky show a recent mission by the six-arm drone. It hovers above a hive as large as a suitcase before swooping down. The drone operator flips the ignition switch, and the drone spits bursts of fire onto the hive.
Blue Sky said it has destroyed 11 hives so far. There are more than 100 to go.
They are what scientists call charismatic megaflora, and there are few trees anywhere more charismatic than the three most famous species in California. People travel from around the world simply to walk among them in wonderment.
The giant sequoia. The Joshua tree. The coast redwood.
They are the three plant species in California with national parks set aside in their name, for their honor and protection.
The wildfires that burned more than 4 million acres in California this year were both historic and prophetic, foreshadowing a future of more heat, more fires and more destruction. Among the victims, this year and in the years to come, are many of California’s oldest and most majestic trees, already in limited supply.
In vastly different parts of the state, in unrelated ecosystems separated by hundreds of miles, scientists are drawing the same conclusion: If the past few years of wildfires were a statement about climate change, 2020 was the exclamation point.
Invisible structures generated by gravitational interactions in the Solar System have created a "space superhighway" network, astronomers have discovered.
These channels enable the fast travel of objects through space, and could be harnessed for our own space exploration purposes, as well as the study of comets and asteroids.
By applying analyses to both observational and simulation data, a team of researchers led by Nataša Todorovic of Belgrade Astronomical Observatory in Serbia observed that these superhighways consist of a series of connected arches inside these invisible structures, called space manifolds - and each planet generates its own manifolds, together creating what the researchers have called "a true celestial autobahn".
This network can transport objects from Jupiter to Neptune in a matter of decades, rather than the much longer timescales, on the order of hundreds of thousands to millions of years, normally found in the Solar System.
Finding hidden structures in space isn't always easy, but looking at the way things move around can provide helpful clues. In particular, comets and asteroids.
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said:
has returned to semi-retired status.
In memory.
