Recommended Reading
from Bruce
Froma Harrop: Is Bernie Behind the Attacks on Biden? (Creators Syndicate)
There was always something fishy about the #MeToo complaint against Joe Biden. Putting hands on Lucy Flores' shoulders and smooching the back of her head is in no way sexual. Even Flores admitted that. Nonetheless, Flores gave a dramatic rendition of the distress it caused her. "I just froze," she said. "I didn't know what to do. Because again the only thing that you're processing is that there is a very powerful man standing next to you ... and you just don't know how to respond." What doesn't add up? Everything.
Susan Estrich: Uncle Joe (Creators Syndicate)
I don't know whether Joe Biden should run for president. I don't know if he will be able to connect with the younger generation that has breathed new life into the Democratic Party. In short, I don't know whether he can beat Donald Trump, which is the thing I care about most. But this I know: Joe Biden is not a sexual predator. Too affectionate for the "Me Too" era? It seems so. But there is a difference between affection and harassment, and hopefully we can still be caring without being accused of harassment.
Connie Schultz: "'They' Are Americans" (Creators Syndicate)
So far, Puerto Rico has received only $11.2 billion of the $41 billion allocated. That hasn't stopped Trump from, in that same tweet, denouncing Puerto Rico's public officials as "grossly incompetent, and who "only take from the USA...." From the USA. Again, a reminder for the president of the United States: Puerto Ricans are fellow Americans, of the USA.
Froma Harrop: The War Against Warming: Why We Must Fight (Creators Syndicate)
Even after Hitler invaded Czechoslovakia and Poland, a strong pacifist movement in Britain opposed a military buildup to confront Nazi Germany. It vilified Winston Churchill as a warmonger for pushing one. "What is it that Britain and France are fighting for?" Churchill asked rhetorically in a March 1940 broadcast. "If we left off fighting you would soon find out." Five months later, bombs started dropping on London. Britain found itself alone and teetering on the edge of an invasion by Nazi Germany. And in these dark hours, when a militarily weak Britain suffered frightening losses on the battlefields, politicians who opposed preparing for war blamed Churchill for being a poor wartime leader.
Marc Dion: Bob Kraft and Barbecue (Creators Syndicate)
Then, in the off-season, Robert Kraft, owner of the New England Patriots, got himself cop-blocked when the forces of law and order observed, taped and investigated his favorite strip mall den of iniquity where he went to enjoy the temporary, partially willing, commercially available and reasonably priced service of women.
Ted Rall: "The Greatest Projects I Never Made (Part 2 of 2)" (Creators Syndicate)
Two weeks ago, I discussed some of the projects and jobs that, for whatever reason, I never got to do during my career as a cartoonist and writer. The stuff we don't do, I wrote, defines as much as what we do. This week: my weird stuff that never came together. Hugh Hefner died in 2017. I was un-sad.
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Presenting
Michael Egan
took the day off.
has returned to semi-retired status.
In memory.
Reader Suggestion
Michelle in AZ
from Bruce
Anecdotes
In the early 1960s Royal Shakespeare Society production of A Midsummer's Night Dream, actress Judi Dench appeared nearly nude as Titania. She wore pointed ears, a strand of ivy, green body makeup, a chamois leather G-string, and two small chamois patches over her nipples. While filming at the lake in Compton Verney, the director wanted rain to appear to be falling on the lake, so a fireman was hired to train a hose on the lake. However, the fireman saw Ms. Dench's lack of costume, did a double-take, and accidentally trained the hose on her, propelling her into the lake. Getting out of the lake, Ms. Dench fell in the mud, which removed most of her green body makeup, as well as the patches covering her nipples. No filming was done that day.
At the beginning of the NCAA gymnastics meet in 1974, a man walked out onto the floor exercise mat wearing nothing but pantyhose - over his head. Otherwise completely nude, he performed a roundoff, a back handspring, and a back somersault, and then he raced away with a police officer in pursuit. After managing to elude the police officer, he removed the pantyhose mask, got dressed, and returned to watch the competition. The nude gymnast was Jim Culhane, who made $35 in dares for performing his stunt.
When Judge Roy Hofheinz wanted support to build a domed stadium in Houston, he took a bunch of VIPs out on a junket to visit some major league stadiums before stopping at Las Vegas, where the VIPs enjoyed a show filled with topless showgirls. Morris Frank was among the VIPs. When the VIPs arrived home again, Mr. Frank looked out of the plane window, saw his wife waiting for him, then complained, "Well, it sure was great seeing all them major-league boobies, but it's back to the minors today."
Director John Waters once tired to track down stripper Blaze Starr so he could ask her to make an appearance in one of his films. Finally, he tracked down Blaze's sister, who was acting as her agent. Blaze's sister asked if nudity would be involved in her role. Because Mr. Waters knew that Blaze must be in her 60s at that time, he replied that there wasn't any. "Oh," said Blaze's sister, "she wouldn't be interested then," and she hung up on him.
Sometimes what you think you see is not what you actually see. To create an illusion of nudity, female dancers sometimes wear flesh-colored costumes on which nipples and navels have been painted. Sometimes what you think you see is what you actually see. In 1978, Vivi Flindt stripped off all of her clothing to perform the dance of Salome for the Royal Danish Ballet. Her husband, Flemming Flindt, danced the role of Herod.
A model was starting to change clothes when she saw an elderly window washer outside her window. She decided to give him a show and took off her blouse. No reaction. She then took off her skirt. No reaction. She took off the rest of her clothes, then walked over to the window and stood directly in front of the window washer. He asked, "What's the matter, lady? Haven't you ever seen a window washer before?"
After having a mastectomy, comedian Danitra Vance (1959-1994) went on stage and performed as the character Harriet Hetero the Feminist Stripper. At one point in her act, she stripped off her shirt to reveal one breast. Over the place where her other breast had been was a taped X. Why did she do this? She answered, "I had to show that this body is okay."
When Harpo Marx first met George Bernard Shaw, Harpo had just finished a swim in the nude and was wearing only a towel around his waist. Mr. Shaw pretended to be going to shake hands with Harpo, but instead he jerked Harpo's towel off, then, with Harpo standing naked, said, "And this is Mrs. Shaw." The two men became friends.
I usually don't like celebrity tell-all gossip, but this is a funny story, even though I'm not going to tell you the names of the celebrities involved. A famous baseball player once boasted to a famous actress about a particular part of his body. For the baseball player's next birthday, the actress sent him a ruler and a mirror.
Sojourner Truth (1797-1883), a traveling preacher, was a strong African-American woman, and she was dogged by rumors that she was really a man who dressed in women's clothing. Once, she bared one of her breasts before an audience, and then said, "It is not my shame, but yours that I should do this."
Once, a couple of people streaked stark naked across the baseball diamond of a game Yogi Berra was playing. Later, his wife asked him if the streakers had been male or female. Yogi replied, "I don't know - they had bags over their faces."
The American musical Hair contains a brief nude scene. When Hair was exported to England, critic John Osborne said, "There will probably be a quick rash of hairy American filth, but it shouldn't threaten the existence of cheerful, decent, serious British filth."
When a man streaked across the stage during the Academy Awards, Oscar presenter David Niven said, "Let's not pay any attention to him. All he is doing is showing his shortcomings."
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Bonus Links
Jeannie the Teed-Off Temp
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
JD is on vacation.
Visit JD's site - Kitty Litter Music
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
So far, so good.
Go Their Separate Ways
Will Ferrell, Adam McKay
Longtime Partners To
Will Ferrell and Adam McKay have mutually decided to branch out separately and refocus their creative efforts. This will wind down one of the longest creative partner relationships in town. The duo met when they were hired the same day on Saturday Night Live in 1995, and 13 years ago they formed with Chris Henchy the multi-platform comedy generating production company Gary Sanchez, later branching into a female-centric offshoot, Gloria Sanchez. They also teamed on a bunch of comedy classic hit movies, including Anchorman, Talladega Nights, Step Brothers and The Other Guys. McKay directed those films and Ferrell starred in them.
I'm told they remain close friends, but it is expected that their Paramount-based production labels will wind down over time. They will continue to see through their existing projects to completion and develop them with the attached producers. They will work together on their extensive slate of shared projects, and will continue to support each other both personally and professionally.
But they will explore new endeavors as well as their own individual projects and it is expected they will each form new ventures to house those projects. They just made the decision to split, and so the exact details are still being formulated.
They also started the viral comedy site Funny Or Die, which launched with a string of viral short comedy films that started with The Landlord. That short starred McKay's adorable two-year old daughter Pearl, who played a foul-mouthed landlord trying to extract overdue rent from Ferrell, whom she turns into a crying mess. It became a sensation - McKay's wife ultimately put the brakes on the budding career of their pint-sized daughter - and Funny Or Die also spawned such memorable skits as Green Team, the TV show Drunk History and the Zach Galifianakis short interview show Between Two Ferns. That one hit a high-water mark when President Barack Obama held still for an interview segment, and Funny Or Die routinely drew big stars in short form doses. Gary Sanchez also exec produced the HBO comedy series Eastbound & Down, which starred Danny McBride.
Will Ferrell, Adam McKay
Honorary Citizen Of Sarajevo
Bruce Dickinson
Bosnia's capital city made Iron Maiden lead singer Bruce Dickinson an honorary citizen Saturday for a concert he performed while Sarajevo was under siege during the 1992-95 war.
Mayor Abdulah Skaka presented the award at a ceremony in Sarajevo City Hall, which was badly damaged during the long Bosnian Serb siege of the city and since restored.
"The arrival of Mr. Dickinson in Sarajevo in 1994 was one of those moments that made us in Sarajevo realize that we will survive, that the city of Sarajevo will survive, that Bosnia-Herzegovina will survive," said Skaka.
Dickinson, who also walked through the city center greeting people and signing autographs, said that "it's a great honor to be given the honorary citizenship of Sarajevo."
"In a world where things only last for about five seconds on social media ... people are still remembering it. That's really quite something," he told The Associated Press. "This is a brilliant day, a lovely day and it's great to be back."
Bruce Dickinson
60 Ancient Mummies
Egypt
A pair of mummified feet were found among the piled bodies in the Tomb of the Warriors in Deir el Bahari, Egypt.
More than 4,000 years ago in Egypt, dozens of men who died of terrible wounds were mummified and entombed together in the cliffs near Luxor. Mass burials were exceptionally rare in ancient Egypt - so why did all these mummies end up in the same place?
Recently, archaeologists visited the mysterious Tomb of the Warriors in Deir el Bahari, Egypt; the tomb had been sealed after its discovery in 1923. After analyzing evidence from the tomb and other sites in Egypt, they pieced together the story of a desperate and bloody chapter in Egypt's history at the close of the Old Kingdom, around 2150 B.C.
Their findings, presented in the PBS documentary "Secrets of the Dead: Egypt's Darkest Hour," paint a grim picture of civil unrest that sparked bloody battles between regional governors about 4,200 years ago. One of those skirmishes may have ended the lives of 60 men whose bodies were mummified in the mass burial, PBS representatives said in a statement.
From the tomb's entrance, a maze of tunnels branched out about 200 feet (61 meters) into the cliff; chambers were filled with mummified body parts and piles of bandages that had once been wrapped around the corpses but had come unraveled, Ikram discovered.
Egypt
'Rollover' Event
Older GPS
Just about everyone uses a GPS nowadays. From tourists to ride-share drivers, it seems to be everywhere.
Starting at 7:59 p.m. ET Saturday, older GPS devices could go a bit haywire due to an expected "rollover" event.
GPS satellites use a week counter that enables receivers to calculate the appropriate date, the Department of Homeland Security's Cyber and Infrastructure division says.
That week counter needs to be reset to zero every 1,024 weeks - roughly every 20 years. A similar rollover event happened on Aug. 21, 1999.
The good news is with the modernization of GPS, the week number counter will be increased from 10 bits to 13 bits. That means we will not have another event like this for about 157 years.
Older GPS
Two Years To Identify
Families
It could take the U.S. government up to two years to identify potentially thousands of additional children separated from their parents by the authorities at the southern border, the government said in a court filing.
The filing late on Friday outlined for the first time the Trump administration's plan for identifying which family members might have been separated by assessing thousands of records using a combination of data analysis, statistical science, and manual review.
Last month, a federal judge in San Diego expanded the number of migrant families that the government may be required to reunite as part of a class-action lawsuit brought last year by the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU).
The Office of Inspector General at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services said earlier this year that the agency had identified many more children in addition to the 2,737 initially included in the suit. U.S. District Court Judge Dana Sabraw had already ordered that those children be reunited with their parents.
"Defendants estimate that identifying all possible children ... would take at least 12 months, and possibly up to 24 months," the government wrote in Friday's filing. It added that the time frame would be affected by the efficacy of its predictive statistical model, the manpower it can dedicate to the manual review, and any follow-up meetings required.
Families
1 in 13 Genes
Growing Up Poor
We all love a good rags to riches story, but the truth is that poverty never really leaves you. Not only does it have a lasting effect on your health and mental well-being, growing up poor changes you at a genetic level.
A new study demonstrates the extent of poverty's impact on our DNA, revealing that nearly eight percent of our genome can be affected by chemical edits that could stick with you for life.
Researchers from across the US and Canada arrived at this remarkable statistic by conducting a genome-wide analysis on just under 500 participants in the Philippine-based Cebu Longitudinal Health and Nutrition Survey.
Using genetic and survey data taken from women who gave birth in the early 1980s, the team identified a relationship between socio-economic status (SES) and tendency for genes to be modified through a process called epigenetics.
Epigenetics involves chemical changes to DNA that prevent or enhance the reading of a sequence. In cases such as this, the precise mechanism referred to as methylation describes the addition of a methyl group to a gene, modifying its transcription.
Growing Up Poor
'Pattern Of Cognitive Decline'
"Patient 1"
Call him "Patient 1": An individual in Washington, D.C., who presents with symptoms of mental decline, including a bizarre inability to remember where his own father was born.
On Tuesday, at a meeting with the secretary-general of NATO, President Trump (R-Inadequate) launched into an impromptu riff on one of his favorite topics, the reluctance of America's wealthy European allies to pay more toward their own defense. Then, in what might have been a clumsy effort to show no hard feelings, he expressed his love for Germany, the ancestral home of the Trump (or, originally, Drumpf) family:
"My father is German, right? Was German. And born in a very wonderful place in Germany, so I have a great feeling for Germany."
Trump's father, Frederick, was born in 1905 in the Bronx, approximately 4,000 miles from Germany, as the accompanying map shows. Trump's grandfather was born in Germany, but was living in the United States with his wife when Frederick was born.
Of all Trump's many misstatements, exaggerations, empty boasts and slips of the tongue, this one - which Trump has made at least twice before - stands out for its sheer inexplicability. Ordinarily, when Trump says something ridiculous, it's for an obvious purpose. He has been on an unhinged rant recently about windmills, whose function in the electrical grid he misunderstands and whose sound he says causes cancer. That is an assertion for which the White House was unable to provide any support, because he unquestionably made it up. But at least it's consistent with his general disdain for environmentalism, and explainable by his self-interest in fighting to stop an offshore wind farm that he believes will ruin the views from one of his golf resorts in Scotland. And it is, strictly speaking, unfalsifiable; the carcinogenic effect of windmill noise, like a lot of other nonsensical beliefs, hasn't been scientifically studied, so all you can say is that there's no evidence for it.
"Patient 1"
Killed By Elephant, Eaten By Lions
Rhino Poacher
Park authorities in South Africa said they recovered the remains of a suspected rhino poacher they believe was killed by an elephant before his remains were devoured by a pride of lions earlier this week.
In a statement released by South African National Parks on Friday, the park service said the family of the victim said they were informed of his death by his alleged accomplices.
The family said they were told the victim had been "killed by an elephant" while he and his alleged accomplices were in Kruger National Park, which is located in northeastern South Africa and is one of Africa's largest game reserves, to poach rhino on Tuesday.
It wasn't until Thursday morning that officials were able to find the victim's body after receiving further information when four of the victim's alleged accomplices were arrested the day before.
"During this search, which was boosted with a further compliment of Field Rangers, the remains of a body were discovered," the park service said. "Indications found at the scene suggested that a pride of lions had devoured the remains leaving only a human skull and a pair of pants."
Rhino Poacher
Top 20
Global Concert Tours
The Top 20 Global Concert Tours ranks artists by average box office gross per city and includes the average ticket price for shows Worldwide. The list is based on data provided to the trade publication Pollstar by concert promoters and venue managers. Week of April 3, 2019:
1. Paul McCartney; $3,639,764; $113.82.
2. Eric Church; $2,891,855; $98.65.
3. Elton John; $2,662,708; $139.46.
4. Fleetwood Mac; $2,233,880; $144.74.
5. Justin Timberlake; $2,174,805; $132.36.
6. Metallica; $2,047,611; $121.15.
7. Luis Miguel; $1,831,958; $85.11.
8. Michael Bublι; $1,506,401; $125.28.
9. Bob Seger & The Silver Bullet Band; $1,404,527; $113.76.
10. Cher; $1,345,126; $114.96.
11. Marc Anthony; $1,300,003; $105.52.
12. Sebastian Maniscalco; $1,208,064; $102.44.
13. KISS; $1,205,057; $103.08.
14. Travis Scott; $1,197,654; $74.90.
15. Trans-Siberian Orchestra; $1,134,642; $64.69.
16. Florence + The Machine; $1,115,065; $68.92.
17. Mumford & Sons; $1,084,208; $72.01.
18. Blake Shelton; $1,044,392; $89.58.
19. Andrι Rieu; $915,513; $90.94.
20. Panic! At The Disco; $785,504; $60.47.
Global Concert Tours
In Memory
Dan Robbins
Dan Robbins, an artist who created the first paint-by-numbers pictures and helped turn the kits into an American sensation during the 1950s, has died. He was 93.
Robbins, whose works were dismissed by some critics but later celebrated by the Smithsonian Institution's National Museum of American History, died Monday in Sylvania, Ohio, said his son, Larry Robbins.
Robbins was working as a package designer for the Palmer Paint Company in Detroit when he came up with the idea for paint-by-numbers in the late 1940s. He said his inspiration came from Leonardo da Vinci.
"I remembered hearing that Leonardo used numbered background patterns for his students and apprentices, and I decided to try something like that," Robbins said in 2004.
While the Craft Master paint-by-numbers kits weren't embraced initially, sales quickly took off and peaked at 20 million in 1955. Within a few years, though, the market was flooded, sales dropped and Klein sold the company.
When his paint-by-numbers days were over, Robbins continued to work in product development, including designing Happy Meal toys for McDonald's.
Robbins is survived by his wife, Estelle, sons Michael and Larry, and several grandchildren and great-grandchildren.
Dan Robbins
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