from Bruce
Anecdotes
Language
• Between 1935 and 1940, Buster Keaton was making films in foreign countries. Movies had sound then, so he recorded the movies in various languages, learning a sentence in one language and recording it, and then learning that sentence in another language and recording it, and so on. For one movie, he recorded the dialogue in French and in Spanish, and he did OK. But his German language instructor noticed a problem with his German: “Oh, I understand him very well, only he’s speaking with a French-Spanish accent.”
• Near the end of his life, Monty Python member Graham Chapman used to go to college campuses where he showed film clips of his work and told anecdotes. (The author of the book you are reading now saw Mr. Chapman when he appeared at Ohio University in Athens, Ohio.) He usually began his talk by asking his audience to hurl verbal abuse at him for ten seconds. Why? According to Mr. Chapman, “It would certainly save a lot of time later on.”
• In his stand-up act, comedian Drew Carey uses a lot of profanity, but of course on his TV sitcom The Drew Carey Show he could not use nearly as much profanity as he does in his stand-up comedy. In fact, he remembers his first memo from the network censor, who wrote about the script for an episode, “Please note the excessive use of ‘h*ll’ and ‘d*mn’ found on pages 4, 20, 21, 22, 28, 38, 40, and 52, and reduce this number by half.”
• Will Rogers developed his writing skills in vaudeville. At first his was a dumb act — meaning he didn’t speak in it. However, Will wanted to impress his audience with the difficulty of some of his tricks — such as throwing two ropes simultaneously and roping both a horse and its rider — and so he began talking to the audience. The audience found Will and his Oklahoma accent pleasing, and he began to make jokes.
• It can hurt you not to know your audience. Stand-up comedian Judy Carter once opened for Jim Nabors in Kansas, where she said, “You know what really p*sses me off?” Big mistake. Kansas audiences in general and Jim Nabors fans in particular find the word “p*sses” offensive.
• Comedian Phyllis Diller was a frequent visitor to the Playboy Mansion in Chicago, Illinois. The door to the Playboy Mansion bears a brass plate with this Latin inscription: “Si Non Oscillas, Non Tintinnare.” (“If You Don’t Swing, Don’t Ring.”)
Laughs
• Who wrote the world’s funniest joke? English comedian Spike Milligan did. No, that’s not personal opinion. A professor studied this subject. Richard Wiseman, of the University of Hertfordshire, posted several jokes online, then asked people to vote on which one was the funniest joke. Over 300,000 people from all over the world did just that. Later, after the results were tallied, Professor Wiseman saw some 1951 footage of the Goons in their very first television appearance. The footage showed the Goons doing a version of the joke voted funniest in the world. And Spike Mulligan had written the jokes in that footage. So what is the funniest joke in the world? Updated for modern times, it is this: Two people go hunting, and a terrible accident occurs, severely injuring and perhaps killing one of the hunters. The uninjured hunter gets on his cell phone and calls 911, then sobs as he says, “There’s been a terrible accident, and the friend I was hunting with is dead!” The 911 operator replies, “Please be calm, sir. The first thing we need to do is to make sure that your friend is dead.” The 911 operator hears silence on the telephone for a moment, then he hears the sound of a shot, and the hunter says, “OK. Now what?”
• Buddy Hackett was dining with a group of comedian friends when a woman approached the table and said that she wanted to tell a joke. Mr. Hackett told her, “Lady, go tell your joke at a table where amateurs are sitting. We’re professionals here. We got all the jokes we can handle.” By the way, if you ever want to make a comedian angry, here’s an excellent way to do it. Buddy Hackett almost had a role in Martin Scorsese’s excellent movie Goodfellas. Mr. Scorsese even came over to Buddy’s house and explained Buddy’s role in the movie — he would be in the background telling part of a joke. Buddy walked over to a window, then invited Mr. Scorsese to come over and look at the view. Buddy asked him, “Isn’t that a beautiful lawn?” Mr. Scorsese agreed that it was a beautiful lawn. Buddy then told him, “Take a real good look because you will never be back in this house again. Part of a joke! Get the f**k outta here!”
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In memory.
BRUCE'S RECOMMENDATION
BANDCAMP MUSIC
BRUCE'S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC
Music: "The Spectrophiliac"
Album: GHOULIE HIGH HARMONY
Artist: Genki! Genki! Panic
Artist Location: Chatanooga, Tennessee
Info: “Instrumental dungeon surf from GA.” [And Tennessee?]
“Genki” is Japanese for “Energy.”
“It’s straightforward fun … the drums provide a frenetic beat, the bass thumps and the guitar is sonic amphetamines winding its way through exotic scales. It is minimalist and it is magical. It’s music for road trips on hot days, for being 17 again and shredding on a skateboard, for bouncing and pogoing and moshing in a crowded bar on a sweaty night while pounding cold beers. I could easily imagine these guys opening for GWAR and if one of them doesn’t have a shrine to Vincent Price somewhere in the basement, I’m getting them one for Christmas.”
www.chattanoogapulse.com/music/features/the-horror-the-horror-of-surfboards/
“Spiked with rippling surf riffs and a thudding percussive backbone, this record feels simultaneously self-contained and expansive, as if the music were wound tightly around a series of nimble rhythms but loosened with just a quick flick of a guitar pick, sending jagged shards of guitar lines and chest-rattling drums off in all directions. It’s easy to get lost in all the quick detours and back alleyways that the band drags you through, but in no time, you’re back on the main road, looking in the rearview mirror and wondering what just happened.”
nooga.com/170185/the-local-lon-eldridge-and-more/
“… a really fun record. Carpenter, horror instrumental surf, Elfman, Morricone, and of course following the footsteps of Satan’s Pilgrims … scraping wading noise- rock, punk, and rock elements formed into a weird Halloween milieu. A bit like Agent Orange were fighting low budget B-Movie monsters.”
csakbennhajogerendazatto.blog.hu/2015/04/20/genki_genki_panic_ghoulie_high_harmony
Price: Name Your Price (Included FREE)
Genre: Horror Surf. Instrumental.
Links:
GHOULIE HIGH HARMONY
Genki! Genki! Panic on Bandcamp
Genki! Genki! Panic Official Website
Henki! Genki! Panic on YouTube
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Reader Suggestion
Michelle in AZ
New Venture
Michael Egan
BRUCE'S RECOMMENDATION
Recommended
BEFORE PUTIN’S WAR
Drive & Listen
Here you watch videos of people driving in a city and you can tune into a radio station from that city. Drive & Listen in Kyiv, Ukraine, and in Moscow, Russia, both from before the war.
Ukraine Wedding: Free Download on Pixabay
AFTER PUTIN’S WAR
Just picture in your mind lots of dead Ukrainian men, women, children, and pets. Human babies (and fur babies) die in war. Also picture heroic resisters telling a Russian warship GO FUCK YOURSELF.
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Bonus Links
Jeannie the Teed-Off Temp
Reader Comment
Current Events
Linda >^..^<
We are all only temporarily able bodied.
Thanks, Linda!
that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Sumo was grand.
Remove Music
Pink Floyd
Pink Floyd have announced that they are removing their music from streaming services in Russia and Belarus.
In a statement released on social media, the band condemned Russia’s invasion of Ukraine and confirmed that all of the band’s music from 1987 onwards will no longer be available to stream in the two countries.
Former Pink Floyd singer and guitarist David Gilmour also confirmed none of his solo material would be made available either, as they looked to show solidarity with Ukraine.
Pink Floyd’s statement read: “To stand with the world in strongly condemning Russia’s invasion of Ukraine, the works of Pink Floyd, from 1987 onwards, and all of David Gilmour’s solo recordings are being removed from all digital music providers in Russia and Belarus from today.”
Gilmour, who has Ukrainian family, separately tweeted: “Russian soldiers, stop killing your brothers. There will be no winners in this war. My daughter-in-law is Ukrainian and my grand-daughters want to visit and know their beautiful country. Stop this before it is all destroyed. Putin must go.”
Pink Floyd
PEN/Audible Literary Service Award
Zadie Smith
Author Zadie Smith is this year’s winner of the PEN/Audible Literary Service Award, an honor previously given to Toni Morrison, Stephen Sondheim and Margaret Atwood among others.
The PEN literary award is presented to “an important writer whose work has drawn a wide audience and who helps us understand the human condition in original and powerful ways.” Smith, 46, the youngest ever recipient of the literary prize, is known for novels “White Teeth” and “NW” and such essay collections as “Changing My Mind” and “Intimations.” She recently contributed the introduction to a stand-alone book edition of Morrison’s short story “Recitatif.”
“Zadie Smith’s impact cannot be understated,” PEN America President Ayad Akhtar said in a statement Friday. “She is not just one of contemporary fiction’s most groundbreaking voices, but also amongst our most insightful critical minds. Her considerable influence only seems to grow ever more far-reaching with time.”
Smith will be among the guests May 23 at PEN America’s annual literary gala, to be held in Manhattan at the Museum of Natural History. Others receiving awards will include Audible founder Donald Katz, cited by PEN as this year’s Business Visionary Honoree.
Zadie Smith
Apologises
Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks has apologised to actor Connor Ratliff, more than two decades after he allegedly fired him from Band of Brothers for having “dead eyes”.
Ratliff, who currently stars inThe Marvelous Mrs Maisel, claims that he was fired from a small role in the 2001 HBO miniseries just before filming commenced, and was replaced at the last moment.
He has been attempting to get to the bottom of Hanks’s reasoning ever since, and the story even inspired the name of his podcast, Dead Eyes, which has featured guests including Seth Rogen, Jon Hamm and Hanks’s own son, Colin Hanks.
During Thursday’s episode of his podcast (10 March), Ratliff recounted the story of auditioning for the military drama at 24 years old. However, Hanks initially said “not a single moment of this rings a bell”.
Hanks added: “This is a bone-chilling story, just bone-chilling.” He said he took “full responsibility” for his actions.
Tom Hanks
River Oaks Theatre
Houston
After a historic Houston theater seemingly closed for good last year due to economic challenges from the coronavirus pandemic, its supporters — including film lovers, preservationists and directors Richard Linklater and Wes Anderson — got to work to try and revive it.
But they also grappled with whether they should be doing this amid a worldwide crisis in which people were dying or suffering economically.
Kyle Vaughan, one of those behind the effort to save the River Oaks Theatre, said with everything that was happening in the world, it would have been easy to say no to this endeavor.
But for Vaughan and those trying to save the theater, the pandemic wasn’t just about basic survival centered around food and shelter and good health, but also about trying to prevent another loss, one of a treasured place that was an artistic and cultural touchstone as well as a place of community for many in Houston.
“The world is very uncertain right now. It becomes really easy on your little hierarchy of needs to say no right now, we just need to survive,” Vaughan said. “I just don’t think it’s worth it when you come out the other side, there isn’t art, there isn’t something to look forward to.”
Houston
Postage Stamp Revealed
Ukraine
Ukraine has revealed a new postage stamp in honour of 13 border guards who defied an order from the Russian military to surrender.
A group of Ukrainian guards told the invading army to “go f*** yourself” before they were thought to have been killed while defending Snake Island in the Black Sea on 24 February.
President Volodymyr Zelenskyy said all the guards had died and promised to honour them with the Hero of Ukraine award, but it was later reported they were still alive.
Ukraine’s first deputy foreign minister, Emine Dzheppar, tweeted the winning design for the new stamp.
“The sketch by artist Boris Groh received the most votes and will soon be published by Ukraine's state postal company. #StandWithUkraine #StopRussianAgression”
Ukraine
$2 Million A Month
Protection Money
The State Department says it’s paying more than $2 million per month to provide 24-hour security to former Secretary of State Mike Pompeo and a former top aide, both of whom face “serious and credible” threats from Iran.
The department told Congress in a report that the cost of protecting Pompeo and former Iran envoy Brian Hook between August 2021 and February 2022 amounted to $13.1 million. The report, dated Feb. 14 and marked “sensitive but unclassified,” was obtained by The Associated Press on Saturday.
Pompeo and Hook led the Trump previous administration’s “maximum pressure” campaign against Iran and the report says U.S. intelligence assesses that the threats to them have remained constant since they left government and could intensify. The threats have persisted even as President Joe Biden’s administration has been engaged in indirect negotiations with Iran over a U.S. return to a landmark 2015 nuclear deal.
As a former secretary of state, Pompeo was automatically given 180 days of protection by the State Department’s Bureau of Diplomatic Security after leaving office. But that protection has been repeatedly extended in 60-day increments by Secretary of State Antony Blinken due to “a serious and credible threat from a foreign power or agent of a foreign power arising from duties performed by former Secretary Pompeo while employed by the department,” the report said.
Hook, who along with Pompeo was often the public face of the Trump previous administration’s imposition of crippling sanctions against Iran, was granted the special protection by Blinken for the same reason as Pompeo immediately after he left government service. That has also been repeatedly renewed in 60-day increments.
Protection Money
Half Of World's Output
Neon
Ukraine's two leading suppliers of neon, which produce about half the world's supply of the key ingredient for making chips, have halted their operations as Moscow has sharpened its attack on the country, threatening to raise prices and aggravate the semiconductor shortage.
Some 45% to 54% of the world's semiconductor-grade neon, critical for the lasers used to make chips, comes from two Ukrainian companies, Ingas and Cryoin, according to Reuters calculations based on figures from the companies and market research firm Techcet. Global neon consumption for chip production reached about 540 metric tons last year, Techcet estimates.
Both firms have shuttered their operations, according to company representatives contacted by Reuters, as Russian troops have escalated their attacks on cities throughout Ukraine, killing civilians and destroying key infrastructure.
The stoppage casts a cloud over the worldwide output of chips, already in short supply after the coronavirus pandemic drove up demand for cellphones, laptops and later cars, forcing some firms to scale back production.
Ukrainian neon is a byproduct of Russian steel manufacturing. The gas, which is also used in laser eye surgery, is produced in China as well, but Chinese prices are rising steadily.
Neon
Two Bizarre 'Blobs' Detected
Deep Inside Earth
Earth's interior is not a uniform stack of layers. Deep in its thick middle layer lie two colossal blobs of thermo-chemical material.
To this day, scientists still don't know where both of these colossal structures came from or why they have such different heights, but a new set of geodynamic models has landed on a possible answer to the latter mystery.
These hidden reservoirs are located on opposite sides of the world, and judging from the deep propagation of seismic waves, the blob under the African continent is more than twice as high as the one under the Pacific ocean.
After running hundreds of simulations, the authors of the new study think the blob under the African continent is less dense and less stable than its Pacific counterpart, and that's why it's so much taller.
The Pacific and African blobs were first discovered in the 1980s. In scientific terms, these 'superplumes' are known as large low-shear-velocity provinces (LLSVPs).
Deep Inside Earth
There's An App For That
Roadkill
The aroma of sizzling meat in melted butter wafts from a cast iron pan while Jaden Bales shows his favorite way to cook up the best steak cuts from a big game animal.
The deep red backstrap pieces, similar to filet mignon of beef, are organic and could hardly be more local. They’re from a mule deer hit by a car just down the road from Bales’ rustic home in a cottonwood grove beneath the craggy Wind River Range.
Bales was able to claim the deer thanks to a new state of Wyoming mobile app that’s helping get the meat from animals killed in fender benders from road to table and in the process making roads safer for critters.
State wildlife and highway officials rolled out the app — possibly the first of its kind in the U.S. — this winter when Wyoming joined the 30 or so states that allow people to collect roadkill for food.
Unlike in other states such as Alaska, roadkill meat in Wyoming can’t be donated to anybody, including charities.
Roadkill
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