from Bruce
Anecdotes
Advertising
• A hotel owner once telephoned comedian George Jessel to find out how much he would charge for a performance. When Mr. Jessel said his price was $1,000, the hotel owner offered, “I’ll tell you what I’ll do for you, Georgie, my boy. I’ll give you $500 and put your picture in the Sunday Times in my ad.” Mr. Jessel replied, “I’ll tell you what I’ll do for you, Julius, my boy. You give me $1,000 and you can put your picture in the Sunday Times in your ad.”
Alcohol
• When children’s mystery writer Joan Lowery Nixon was young, her parents moved the family to a new house, very close to the house owned by W.C. Fields. Being both observant and curious, Ms. Nixon noticed that a closet in her new home was unusual in that it could be locked from the inside. She investigated, using a measuring tape, and discovered that the closet was in front of another, hidden space. Her mother would not let her investigate further, but after Mr. Fields died, Ms. Nixon toured his house in the presence of a real-estate agent, who showed her a hidden room that had been used to hide liquor during Prohibition. Both houses — that of Mr. Fields and that of Ms. Nixon’s family — had been built during Prohibition.
• Some comedians take a drink to steady their nerves before performing. George Gobel once had Garry Moore as a guest on The George Gobel Show. Mr. Moore visited Mr. Gobel in his dressing room before the live TV show started, and Mr. Gobel motioned to a bottle of whiskey and said, “Have a drink.” However, Mr. Moore replied, “Thanks, but I don’t believe I’ll have anything before the show. I’ll be happy to join you for a drink after the show.” Mr. Gobel could hardly believe what he was hearing: “Garry, do you mean to say you go out there all alone?”
• Comedian Bill Hicks used to do a lot of drugs, especially alcohol. Fortunately, after going on a late-night drug binge, then doing a radio show at 7 in the morning — during which he was funny although his heart was pounding instead of beating — he decided that he needed help. Mr. Hicks asked a friend who was currently peaceful although he had formerly been wild and crazy, “Are you going to one of those AA meetings today?” The friend replied, “I’ve been waiting three years for you to say that. There’s a meeting in 15 minutes. Let’s go.”
• While the movie The Captain Hates the Sea was being filmed on location, the atmosphere was that of a party, and expenses mounted quickly. Columbia studio head Harry Cohn wired the director, Lewis Milestone: “HURRY UP! THE COST IS STAGGERING!” Mr. Milestone sent back this telegram: “SO IS THE CAST.”
• In his home, W.C. Fields kept a chalkboard on which he listed his appointments. When comic writer H. Allen Smith visited him, Mr. Fields had listed, “Stay home and meditate on the follies of humankind. P.S. Get stiff.”
Animals
• As a small boy, Wally Cox owned a cat that was smarter than he was and smarter than the adult humans in his household. For example, like all house pets, this cat would sometimes be accidentally shut in a room with all the doors and windows closed. When that happened, the cat would meow, then wait. If that didn’t bring a human running to let the cat out of the room, then the cat would knock something small off a shelf or table onto the floor, then wait. If that didn’t bring a human running to let the cat out of the room, then the cat would knock something large off a shelf or table onto the floor, then wait. The bigger items made lots of noise, and soon a human would come running to let the cat out of the room. Once the cat was shut in the basement with lots of canning jars. This time, however, the humans thought that they would train the cat. No matter how many jars of canned goods the cat knocked onto the floor, the humans would NOT come running to let the cat out of the basement. The cat knocked a canning jar onto the floor, then another, and then another — until 32 canning jars were on the floor. The humans remained resolute, and did not come running to let the cat out of the basement. Then a truly major racket exploded in the basement, and the humans came running and opened the door to the basement. The cat came out of the basement — objective achieved — and walked haughtily away. This is what had happened. An ironing board was at the top of the basement stairs, and the cat had managed to knock it over so that it crashed down the basement stairs. After that experience, the humans were properly trained. Whenever the cat needed to be let out of a room or the basement, the humans came running — quickly.
***
© Copyright Bruce D. Bruce; All Rights Reserved
***
The Coolest People in Comedy — Free Downloads
The Coolest People in Comedy — Apple
The Coolest People in Comedy — Barnes and Noble
The Coolest People in Comedy — Kobo
The Coolest People in Comedy — Smashwords
The Coolest People in Comedy — Can Be Read Online Here at No Cost: Smashwords Online Reader
Presenting
Michael Egan
BRUCE'S RECOMMENDATION
BANDCAMP MUSIC
BRUCE'S RECOMMENDATION OF BANDCAMP MUSIC
Music: "Savages!"
EP: A STRANGE AND TERRIBLE DEMO
Artist: Tiki Riot
Artist Location: Kings Valley, Oregon
Info:
Music by C.W Galaxias.
Price: Name Your Price (Includes FREE)
Genre: Instrumental. Surf.
Links:
A STRANGE AND TERRIBLE DEMO
Tiki Riot on Bandcamp
Tiki Riot on YouTube
Tiki Riot on Instagram
Other Links:
Bruce’s Music Recommendations: FREE pdfs
David Bruce's Smashwords Page
David Bruce's Blog #1
David Bruce's Blog #2
David Bruce's Blog #3
davidbrucebooks: EDUCATE YOURSELF - Free PDFs
David Bruce's Apple iBookstore
Reader Suggestion
Michelle in AZ
David E Suggests
Fivefer
While attending Ohio State, I would occasionally go to the Krishna
House (was it on East 14th?) for the one-dollar vegetarian lunches.
Before I left for Oregon in 77, I gave them my trusty 3 speed Raleigh
Bicycle. Ironically, I saw the same phenomenon happen again in the
80's when Rajneesh showed up in the early 80's.
BRUCE'S RECOMMENDATION
These are some of the people Putin considers enemies:
Steephill became Mainstream of Ukraine
Of course, not every Russian supports the war against Ukraine:
The administration of Yekaterinburg agreed on the anti-war picket of Yabloko. It will take place [Saturday], February 26, from 13:00 to 16:00 at the intersection of Popova and Khokhryakova streets (10 Khokhryakova street, opposite the Palladium business center).
Other Links:
David Bruce's Smashwords Page
David Bruce's Blog #1
David Bruce's Blog #2
David Bruce's Blog #3
davidbrucebooks: EDUCATE YOURSELF - Free PDFs
David Bruce's Apple iBookstore
Bonus Links
Jeannie the Teed-Off Temp
Reader Comment
Current Events
Linda >^..^<
We are all only temporarily able bodied.
Thanks, Linda!
that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Power went out earlier today - just long enough to shut everything down. Argh.
Doc Series
James Brown
Mick Jagger and Ahmir “Questlove” Thompson are teaming up to produce a four-part documentary series on soul legend James Brown for the A&E Network.
“James Brown: Say it Loud” is expected to premiere on the network next year. Brown, who died in 2006, would have been 90 in May 2023.
The Rolling Stones frontman described Brown as “a brilliant performer who inspired me from the beginning.”
Questlove, leader of the Roots, is riding high from “Summer of Soul (Or, When the Revolution Could Not be Televised),” his Oscar-nominated documentary on a series of Harlem concerts described as the Black Woodstock.
James Brown
Russia Barred
Eurovision 2022
Earlier this week, the European Broadcasting Union, which organizes the annual Eurovision Song Contest, announced that Russia would still be welcome at Eurovision this coming May, explaining that “the Eurovision Song Contest is a non-political cultural event which unites nations and celebrates diversity through music.” However, the EBU also stated, “We of course will continue to monitor the situation closely” — and on Friday, it was announced that Russia has now been barred from competing at EVSC 2022, following the country’s invasion of Ukraine.
In a new statement, the EBU said: “The European Broadcasting Union (EBU) has announced that no Russian act will participate in this year’s Eurovision Song Contest. The Executive Board of the EBU made the decision following a recommendation earlier today by the Eurovision Song Contest’s governing body, the Reference Group, based on the rules of the event and the values of the EBU. The Reference Group recommendation was also supported by the EBU’s Television Committee. The decision reflects concern that, in light of the unprecedented crisis in Ukraine, the inclusion of a Russian entry in this year’s Contest would bring the competition into disrepute. Before making this decision the EBU took time to consult widely among its membership. The EBU is an apolitical member organization of broadcasters committed to upholding the values of public service. We remain dedicated to protecting the values of a cultural competition which promotes international exchange and understanding, brings audiences together, celebrates diversity through music and unites Europe on one stage.”
The decision reversal follows Thursday’s publication of an open letter by Mykola Chernotytsky, the chair of UA:PBC (the national public broadcaster in Ukraine), addressed to EBU president Delphine Ernotte Cunci. The letter read in part:
Eurovision 2022
Pipe Organ
“Hazel”
There are few pipe organs in the world that have a nickname, a feminine pronoun and a Facebook fan page.
The Hazel Wright organ — just “Hazel,” to her admirers — was removed piece by piece in 2013 from Christ Cathedral’s shimmering sanctuary in Southern California’s Orange County, and shipped to Italy for repair. At the time, the fifth-largest pipe organ in the world was suffering from an infestation of bugs. Its pipes were melted, its trumpets corroded.
Nearly a decade and $3 million later, Hazel is back in the fully remodeled sanctuary, and heavenly chords from her pipes once again ring out in the vaulted nave of the iconic church.
Named for its original benefactor, the Hazel Wright organ was heard by millions worldwide during the heyday of what was then known as the Crystal Cathedral, founded by the televangelist, the Rev. Robert H. Schuller, who hosted the weekly Christian TV program, “Hour of Power.” The Garden Grove church is a local landmark and tourist attraction, with its majestic spire visible from some of the freeways that crisscross the county.
After Crystal Cathedral Ministries filed for bankruptcy, the organ was acquired along with the building in 2011 by the Roman Catholic Diocese of Orange, which later launched a $72 million renovation of the sanctuary that was completed in 2019.
“Hazel”
$6,000 Star Wars Hotel
Di$ney
Would you pay $6,000 to pretend to be an inhabitant of the Star Wars universe for two days? Disney was sure enough people would answer “yes” to that question that it created Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser, a two-day resort stay/immersive theme park experience at Disney World that purports to do just that. But when the first footage of the hotel was released onto the internet late last year, the fan response was negative enough that those videos soon vanished from YouTube.
Disney of course never confirmed that it pulled down the videos because everyone was making fun of them for trying to charge as much as $1,200 a night to let you walk around what appeared to a setting on par with the Star Tours line queue area. But I’m guessing the initial bad buzz didn’t play no role in the company’s recent and seemingly somewhat hasty decision to invite a few dozen assorted journalists, fan site operators, and travel bloggers and their guests to experience it first-hand—and, for the most part, most expenses paid (Disclosure: Disney invited us onboard the Galactic Starcruiser for a two-day media preview event, and covered the associated cost of transportation, food and drinks, and theme park access. That exclusive merch still costs a pretty penny, however, and regular guests will need to pay for their own alcohol).
The concept of Star Wars: Galactic Starcruiser is that that it’s a two-night hotel stay combined with a two day Star Wars LARP (that’s Live Action Role Playing, for those not caught up with your immersive-experience lingo). You are a guest onboard the luxury starship Halcyon, a passenger ship celebrating its 275th year in space (which appears to fall somewhere between the end of The Last Jedi and the start of The Rise of Skywalker, much like its predecessor at the Disney Parks, Galaxy’s Edge). Think of it like the QE2, but with more droids. You’re there to relax, take advantage of the shipboard amenities, enjoy some fine food, and be serenaded at dinner by a galactic pop superstar (kinda like Cher, if Cher was a Twi’lek). Unfortunately, your peaceful journey is interrupted by a visit from the First Order, investigating rumors of Resistance activity onboard.
Across two nights, you’ll be both an observer to and a participant in the narrative that unfolds from there, and get to know a colorful cast of new but familiar Star Wars archetype characters along the way (which isn’t to say appearances by more familiar faces is out of the question; Disney owns the rights to all of them, after all).
Di$ney
Let The Gaslighting Begin
Media
Many top hosts for Fox News and other conservative media voices are blaming the White House for supposedly enabling Russia's attack on Ukraine - even some of the same personalities who previously ridiculed President Joe Biden's warnings that an invasion was imminent.
"It's just extraordinary what this president has allowed our adversaries to do," Fox Business Network anchor Maria Bartiromo told viewers Thursday morning, as reports of Russian incursions across Ukraine poured in. She argued that Biden "has not been tough enough on Russia" and, "so far, anything that this administration has said has been weak."
But days earlier, Bartiromo had sounded confident the Biden administration was inflating the threat of Russian aggression to distract from bad political news at home - particularly, a motion filed by special counsel John Durham that was described by many Fox News hosts as a massive scandal.
"Was this a ruse?" she asked her audience Wednesday last week. "Was this whole thing an effort to take everybody's attention away from what Hillary Clinton did and what we know to be a complete hoax over this Russia investigation?
Across the right-wing media spectrum, the crisis in Europe proved an opportunity for talking heads to compare leaders - sometimes concluding that Putin is the more impressive.
Media
Rather Have
Arizona
Arizona Gov. Doug Ducey (R-Un-American) was questioned Thursday about his efforts to get Wendy Rogers elected to the state senate in 2020, and whether he has any regrets in light of how Rogers has been promoting white nationalist causes.
Arizona Mirror reporter Jeremy Duda asked the Republican governor his thoughts on Rogers during an event where Ducey announced a scholarship program for the state’s foster children.
Rogers is scheduled to speak Friday at the America First Political Action Conference (AFPAC), the Mirror reported last week. AFPAC is an annual gathering of far-right figures organized by white nationalist Nick Fuentes, whom Rogers has praised in social media posts more than two dozen times, according to Left Coast Right Watch, an extremist monitoring group. Rogers promoted the event on Telegram last week, the Daily Beast reported.
Rogers has intertwined herself with the Q-Anon crowd, has espoused racist “great replacement” theories, has called for Christian theocracy, and is a member of the paramilitary group the Oath Keepers. She is also a ‘Big Lie’ proponent, falsely claiming that the 2020 presidential election was fraudulent.
Arizona
Prediction “Very Sad” and Not Coincidental
‘The Simpsons’
Just prior to Russia launching a full-scale invasion of Ukraine on Thursday, a series of social media users noted that The Simpsons appeared to once again predict the future back in 1998.
Those social media posts did not go unnoticed by Simpsons showrunner Al Jean, who tells The Hollywood Reporter that the 24-year-old gag — now a stark reality — is “very sad.”
“In terms of predictions, there are two kinds we have: The trivial, like Don Mattingly getting in trouble for his hair in ‘Homer at the Bat,'” Jean says. “And then there are predictions like this. I hate to say it, but I was born in 1961, so 30 years of my life were lived with the specter of the Soviet Union. So, to me, this is sadly more the norm than it is a prediction. We just figured things were going to go bad.”
“Historical aggression never really goes away, and you have to be super vigilant,” Jean says. “In 1998, when this clip aired, it was maybe the zenith of U.S.-Russia relations. But ever since [Russian President Vladimir] Putin got in, almost everybody has made it clear that he’s a bad guy and bad things are going to happen.”
‘The Simpsons’
5,300-Year-Old Skull
Burgos, Spain
Archaeologists have excavated a 5,300-year-old skull from a Spanish tomb and determined that seven cut marks near the left ear canal are strong evidence of a primitive surgical procedure to treat a middle ear infection. That makes this the earliest known example of ear surgery yet found, according to the authors of a recent paper published in the journal Scientific Reports. The Spanish team also identified a flint blade that may have been used as a cauterizing tool.
The excavation site is located in the Dolmen of El Pendón in Burgos, Spain, and consists of the remains of a megalithic monument dating back to the 4th century BCE, i.e., the late Neolithic period. The ruins include an ossuary holding the bones of nearly 100 people, and archaeologists have been excavating those remains since 2016.
In July 2018, the team recovered the skull that is the subject of this latest study. The skull was lying on its right side, facing the entrance of the burial chamber, and while most of the cranium was intact, no teeth remained. The missing teeth, plus the loss in bone density and fully ossified thyroid cartilage, indicated that this was the skull of an elderly woman aged 65 or older.
The woman survived the first procedure and endured a second surgery on the left ear sometime after. The authors were unable to determine whether the procedures were done back-to-back or whether months or even years passed between them. Regardless, "It is thus the earliest documented evidence of a surgery on both temporal bones and therefore, most likely, the first known radical mastoidectomy in the history of humankind," they wrote.
Burgos, Spain
Quantum Gravity Sensor Can Look Under Surface
Earth
Scientists would be able to discover much more about what lies underground if our planet could be sliced open and viewed as a cross-section – but as that's not really possible, they have to rely on a variety of other methods instead.
One new approach has just been proven in the field: A recently developed device called a quantum gravity gradiometer has been used to successfully spot a tunnel buried a meter (a little over 3 feet) underground.
Typical gravity sensors work by comparing slight differences in the positions of identical light waves. This works fine for large structures, but for smaller hidden objects the shimmy and shake of the ground, the equipment, and even random thermal vibrations make it increasingly harder to make out details.
A quantum gravity sensor adds a filter that makes use of the wave-like nature of atoms in free-falling, ultra-cold clouds, radically improving the sensor's resolution. The almost imperceptible differences in how gravity affects these atoms reveal the composition of the ground underneath, highlighting gaps in the ground such as tunnels.
The new instrument is a type of atom interferometer – devices which have been in development for more than 20 years. The challenge has been getting them into a size and form that means they can be deployed practically outdoors.
Earth
CURRENT MOON lunar phases |