There is absolutely no doubt that the mechanism is in
place for George W. Bush to declare marshal law and cancel the election. It's
there, a viable option, right in front of him, or more accurately, to his left,
the little devil on his shoulder whispering things in his ear, "You don't have
to step down," says the devil, looking a bit like Karl Rove, chubby, balding, a
red-hot pitchfork in hand matching his red-hot go-go skin, ready to poke it up
your ass, a cute little chipmunk voice, James Earl Jones sped up to Alvin, "you
can be president forever. Go ahead, be a dictator, you can actually do it,
you're in the perfect position to CONQUER THE WORLD."
Of course we see the problem here. There is no cute
little angel on his other shoulder saying "Don't do it, don't listen to him," an
angel, with little animated wings, female of course, the young Vanessa Redgrave,
the young Jane Fonda, a diaphanous gown that goes see-through when wet, a sultry
voice, Demi Moore, no pitchfork, a feather in hand to tickle and entice, "C'mon,
baby, your place in history is already assured," tickling his lobe, making kissy
sounds, countering the devil, "Let others take over, it's the right thing
to do."
That angel is supposed to be a free press. If only he
read newspapers. Without that angel, the poor dumb bastard would have to think
those thoughts himself, so we'll just have to see how that goes.
Some people complain about the use of the word evil when
applied to Bush, claiming he's just lame or incompetent and he's got good
intentions, so this would seem to be the litmus test. He' s got a genuine chance
now to prove himself not evil.
Uh-oh, here comes that fucking devil again: "Keep
torturing those terrorists, look at the tapes yourself, you know what you're
looking for, the perfect upcoming terrorist plot, not to stop it but to let it
happen, to use it, just like you used the last one, for your own purposes. All
it takes is one successful act of terrorism on US soil before November and you
can declare martial law and CONQUER THE WORLD."
The phrase reverberates throughout his empty head.
CONQUER THE WORLD. Yeee, haaaaw, I could actually do it. Alexander, he wasn't so
great, thought he could conquer the world without nucular power, Genghis Khan,
on horseback?, gimme a break, and Hitler, what a wus, thought he could conquer
the world without cellphones and global positioning systems. I'm the first guy
who could actually pull it off. We gots the technology and military bases in 62
countries I can't even pronounce and they all gotta do exactly what I say if I
declare martial law and all I need is an excuse, but it's got to be just the
right one and I can't think like a terrorist, them boys is clever, so what we
gots to do is grab a bunch of 'em and torture 'em and see what we come up with.
Don't matter if it's true or not. We just want to take advantage of their
devious brains. Hell, one of em musta thought'a sumpin we can use.
And then we'll know if he's evil or not. I say we can
clear the boards of the "evil" charge if Bush simply allows the upcoming
elections and sees through the transfer of power. It would mean he listened to
the angel in his right ear. I wouldn't bet on it.
The Blog from Another Dimension: The Inspiration
Yes, this has already been bouncing around the net quite a bit since Slate published the story (based on a book by their writer Jacob Weisberg) and Harper's picked it up as well, but the punch line is so funny that it bears yet another re-telling on a blog, just in case somebody here hasn't seen it yet.
Rodney Carmichael: Can't Buy Me Love (atlanta.creativeloafing.com)
Before you know it, Anthony David's "Words" was in rotation on the No. 1 Arbitron-ranked station in one of the nation's top-10 radio markets. Few major-label artists get such an opportunity. For an indie artist like David, the chances are "slim to none," according to an Atlanta-based independent radio promoter who works as a liaison between labels, clubs and urban radio stations to break records in the city.
zEN mAN (observing the new hair do on Fox's resident pinhead pundit hosting her own viewpoint called the "Dhuepoint" ....I'd like to see her hair catch on fire ala Michael Jackson....fuck all conservatives to hell...how's that for compassion?)
Who was the oldest person to host "Saturday Night Live"?
A: Peter Cook
B: Ruth Gordon
C: Walter Matthau
D: John McCain
E: Dudley Moore
Source
mj was first, but wrong, guessing:
Since I stopped watching after the original cast disappeared (and was often memory impaired while watching), I'm going to guess A. I know others are (were) older, but I just don't get the vibes. I do remember the "Bassomatic", "Puppy Uppers (and Doggie Downers), and, my all time favorite, the "Chinch Farm, with processing mill and, if you call now, recipe book for chinch meat."
Alan J succinctly, and correctly, responded:
Ruth Gordon
S. Bennett nailed it with:
Of the answers provided, Ruth Gordon.
However, the oldest host was a lady named Miskel Spillman. She was an 80 plus year old grandmother that won the "Anyone Can Host"
contest held in 1977. She and four other finalists (Richard Canipe, Connie Crawford, David Lewis, and Deb Blair) appeared
on the 19 Nov 1977 show. Viewers were asked to write in and vote for their favorite. Miskel won and hosted the Christmas show on 17 Dec. The second oldest host was Ruth Gordon who was 80 when she hosted on 22 Jan 1977.
Sally said:
I would say that at age 81, Ruth Gordon (B) holds the record as, "oldest" host on SNL. I am a HUGE SNL fan, having watched every episode, many more than once. I also have the book, "Live From New York" an uncensored history of Saturday Night Live, by Shales and Miller (published by "Little Brown and Company.") This book is a MUST read by any REAL SNL fans...
PS Save Old Man McCain, all of the other SNL "Hosts" listed, are now pushing up daisies. Need I say more? :)
Dave in Tucson guessed correctly:
Just a wild guestimate that Ruth Gordon was the oldest person to host SNL.
Marian the Teacher said:
Purely a guess but I think Walter Matthau. I think Mc Cain hosted as well but he'd be younger than Matthau.
And, Joe S ("I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington."
~Chevy Chase) answered:
Strictly a guess, C: Walter Matthau. I really have no idea.
Please try to get your answers in by 9pm (pst) so I can start uploading - uploading takes (at least) a couple of hours with my crappy dial-up.
On a good night, the page is up by 12:30am (pst) - if it's a bad night, I quit around 3am (pst).
CBS begins the night with a RERUN'Shark', followed by '48 Hours', then another '48 Hours'.
NBC opens the night with a RERUN'Law & Order: Criminal Intent', followed by a RERUN'Law & Order: Special Victims Unit', then 'Law & Order'.
Of course, 'SNL' is a RERUN with noted comedian Brian Williams hosting, music by Feist.
ABC starts the night with the chestnut 'A Charlie Brown Valentine', followed by the movie 'Charlie And The Chocolate Factory'.
The CW fills the night with old 'Family Guy'RERUNs.
Faux has 'Cops', another 'Cops', and 'That's So Hollywood'.
MY has 'NFL Total Access', followed by a FRESH'IFL Battleground'.
A&E has the movie 'Patriot Games', followed by the movie 'True Lies'.
AMC offers the movie 'Jurassic Park', followed by the movie 'Die Hard', then the movie 'Cool Hand Luke'.
BBC -
[12:00 PM] You Are What You Eat - Episode 7;
[12:30 PM] You Are What You Eat - Episode 8;
[1:00 PM] Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares - Ep 1 La Parra de Burriana;
[2:00 PM] Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares - Ep 2 Walnut Tree;
[3:00 PM] Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares - Ep 2 The Fenwick Arms;
[4:00 PM] Top Gear - Episode 4;
[5:00 PM] Top Gear - Episode 3;
[6:00 PM] Doctor Who - Ep 2 The Shakespeare Code;
[7:00 PM] Doctor Who - Ep 3 Gridlock;
[8:00 PM] Torchwood - Episode 2;
[9:00 PM] Torchwood - Episode 3;
[10:00 PM] The Graham Norton Show - Ep 16 Joanna Lumley and Bon Jovi;
[11:00 PM] Torchwood - Episode 2;
[12:00 AM] Torchwood - Episode 3;
[1:00 AM] The Graham Norton Show - Ep 16 Joanna Lumley and Bon Jovi;
[2:00 AM] Doctor Who - Ep 3 Gridlock;
[6:00 AM] BBC World News. (ALL TIMES EDT)
Bravo has 'Project Runway', another 'Project Runway', still another 'Project Runway', and the movie 'Casanova'.
Comedy Central has the movie 'Austin Powers: International Man Of Mystery', 'Futurama', another 'Futurama', still another 'Futurama', and the movie 'American Pie Presents: The Naked Mile'.
FX has the movie 'S.W.A.T.', followed by the movie 'The Italian Job'.
History has 'Band Of Brothers', 'Alaska: Big America', and 'Little Ice Age: Big Chill'.
IFC -
[06:15 AM] Seven And a Match;
[08:00 AM] Samurai Gold Seekers;
[09:35 AM] Way Off Broadway;
[11:10 AM] IFC News Presents: Spirit Awards Nominations Special 2008;
[11:40 AM] Seven And a Match;
[01:30 PM] Camp;
[03:25 PM] Way Off Broadway;
[05:00 PM] Alma de mi Padre;
[05:20 PM] IFC News Special;
[05:30 PM] Seven And a Match;
[07:15 PM] Poison Ivy;
[08:55 PM] IFC News: 2008, Uncut;
[09:00 PM] Assassination Tango;
[11:00 PM] Sling Blade;
[01:20 AM] IFC News Special;
[01:30 AM] Indie Sex: Censored;
[02:45 AM] Indie Sex: Taboos;
[03:45 AM] Assassination Tango;
[05:45 AM] IFC News Presents: Spirit Awards Nominations Special 2008. (ALL TIMES EST)
SciFi has the movie 'Jeepers Creepers', followed by the movie 'The Bone Eater'.
Sundance -
[05:00 AM] Dear Wendy;
[07:00 AM] The Mysterious Geographic Explorations of Jasper Morello;
[07:30 AM] Dopamine;
[09:00 AM] Howard Schultz + Norman Lear;
[10:00 AM] Gimme Shelter;
[11:45 AM] Mercy;
[12:00 PM] The Calcium Kid;
[01:40 PM] choke.;
[02:00 PM] Howard Schultz + Norman Lear;
[03:00 PM] Episode 2: Geoffrey's Return;
[04:00 PM] Dopamine;
[05:30 PM] Little Terrorist;
[06:00 PM] Episode 5;
[06:40 PM] Stronger;
[07:00 PM] Episode 7;
[07:30 PM] Episode 8;
[08:00 PM] Who Are You Polly Maggoo?;
[10:00 PM] The Dead Girl;
[11:30 PM] Nightmare;
[01:15 AM] Adam & Paul;
[02:45 AM] The Doom Generation;
[04:00 AM] Kasabian, Josh Groban & The Good The Bad and The Queen;
[05:00 AM] Mercy;
[05:30 AM] Assisted Living. (ALL TIMES EST)
John Fogerty is finding out it's never too late to be a first-time performer at the Grammy Awards.
The 62-year-old former Creedence Clearwater Revival frontman will join rock pioneers Jerry Lee Lewis and Little Richard in a "Cornerstone of Rock" segment during Sunday's CBS telecast from the Staples Center.
"When I was a young guy, none of the people I liked got Grammys. That's just the way it was," he said at a Grammy week event Wednesday night.
"They honored a lot of great people, but they just weren't in my musical universe. Then something changed 15, 20 years ago, where they started kind of getting a little hipper, honoring rock and pop and even rap. It seems to be not just reserved for old, gray white men anymore, kind of like our politics."
Amy Winehouse's visa came through, but not in time for the rehabbing singer to make the trip to Los Angeles for the Grammy Awards, her representatives said Friday.
Winehouse will go ahead with her backup plan to perform live via satellite from a studio in London, where she would also be available to accept any awards she may win during Sunday's ceremony. Winehouse and her acclaimed "Back to Black" album are nominated for Grammys in six categories.
Winehouse's original visa application was denied under U.S. immigration rules regarding the "use and abuse of narcotics," a senior State Department official said Friday, on condition of anonymity because the U.S. Embassy in London's application deliberations are confidential.
Other British music acts have had difficulty securing visas. Lily Allen was scheduled to perform at the MTV Video Music Awards in September, but the pop star's visa was revoked. The U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services hasn't commented, but her manager has said he suspected it was because Allen was arrested in London in June after an altercation with photographers.
Actor George Lopez, wearing a kilt, hits from the 11th tee of the Spyglass Hill Golf Course during the second round of the AT&T Pebble Beach National Pro-Am golf tournament in Pebble Beach, Calif., Friday, Feb. 8, 2008.
Photo by Marcio Jose Sanchez
Neil Young has a pessimistic message: Music has lost its power to change the world.
The 62-year-old singer brought his new movie, "CSNY Deja Vu," to the Berlin film festival Friday. The film was shot during the 2006 Freedom of Speech tour by Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young.
Young, who directed the movie under the pseudonym Bernard Shakey, wasn't making any big claims about its effects.
"I think that the time when music could change the world is past," he told reporters. "I think it would be very naive to think that in this day and age."
A distasteful comment about Chelsea Clinton by an MSGOP anchor could imperil Hillary Rodham Clinton's participation in future presidential debates on the network, a Clinton spokesman said.
In a conference call with reporters, Clinton communications director Howard Wolfson on Friday excoriated MSGOP's David Shuster for suggesting the Clinton campaign had "pimped out" 27-year old Chelsea by having her place phone calls to Democratic Party superdelegates on her mother's behalf. Wolfson called the comment "beneath contempt" and disgusting.
MSGOP said Shuster, who apologized on the air for his comment, has been temporarily suspended from appearing on all NBC news broadcasts except to offer his apology.
Wolfson pointed to what he called a pattern of tasteless comments by MSGOP anchors about the Clinton campaign. Weeks ago, "Hardball" host Chris Matthews apologized to the former first lady after suggesting her political career had been made possible by her husband's philandering.
American actor Danny Glover has been fined $100 by an Ontario court after being convicted last month of trespassing.
Glover, who was not in court in Niagara Falls on Friday, was charged with trespassing at Canadian Niagara Hotels' Sheraton on the Falls property during a protest on Sept. 16, 2006.
Canadian Niagara Hotels had asked for $22,000 in costs for the private prosecution of the three defendants.
But the justice of the peace found the prosecution was unnecessary to protect the interests of the hotel's owner, and found the company should have engaged in more good faith negotiations with the union.
US singer Patti Smith, right, and the photographer and artist Steven Sebring, left, arrive for the visit of their multimedia exhibition 'Objects of Life' in Berlin, Germany, Friday, Feb. 8, 2008. Steven Sebring shows his film 'Patti Smith Dream of Life' during the 58th Berlinale film festival which takes place from Feb. 7 to Feb. 17, 2008.
Photo by Michael Sohn
ABC is venturing into primetime animation with "The Goode Family," a comedy from "King of the Hill" co-creator Mike Judge.
The network has handed out a 13-episode commitment to "Goode," which Judge created with John Altschuler and Dave Krinsky.
"Goode" revolves around a family obsessed with doing the "right" thing environmentally, politically or socially. But its efforts often have unintended comedic consequences.
Judge will voice the father and other characters on the series. He also voices two characters on Fox's "Hill" and voiced most of the characters on the earlier hit animated comedy he created, MTV's "Beavis and Butt-head."
A performer shows her hula hoop skills during a cultural presentation to celebrate the upcoming Chinese New Year at Longtan Park in Beijing February 6, 2008. The lunar "Year of the Rat" begins on February 7 in China and will also be celebrated by as many as 35 million overseas Chinese in cities across the globe.
Photo by Claro Cortes IV
The head of the Federal Communications Commission is proposing the agency approve Liberty Media's acquisition of News Corp's stake in DirecTV.
FCC Chairman Kevin Martin (R-Rupert's Whore) told reporters on Friday the matter would be put to a vote by the five-member agency at its next open meeting on February 26.
Martin said he was proposing Liberty be required to abide by some conditions that apply to News Corp in connection with the DirecTV stake. He did not elaborate.
Leonardo DiCaprio and the cousin from whom he rents a house are suing dozens of building contractors in an ongoing legal fight over a basketball court that neighbors claim destabilized their Hollywood Hills property.
The cross-complaint filed Jan. 30 lists contractors hired by the neighbors and by DiCaprio and cousin Robert Hrtica themselves.
Neighbors Joan and Robert Linclau sued DiCaprio and Hrtica in May for at least $250,000 in damages. They claimed their property was illegally excavated and some plants removed in 2004. They also said the work undermined a slope behind their home and left their deck and pool in danger of collapse.
The latest complaint from DiCaprio says the Linclaus' lawsuit has no merit, but if damages are found then the contractors are to blame.
An artist works on an idol of Saraswati, the Hindu goddess of education, ahead of a festival in the northeastern Indian city of Siliguri February 8, 2008. The annual Saraswati Puja festival starts on February 11 and is one of the popular Hindu festivals in India.
Photo by Rupak De Chowdhuri
Pro wrestling is getting smacked down by the CW network.
The long-running "Friday Night Smackdown" won't be airing on the CW this fall, the network and World Wrestling Entertainment said late Thursday. In separate announcements, they stated that "after a successful decade of `Smackdown,'" they had agreed to conclude their partnership after the 2007-08 season.
WWE added that it began talks with other networks after the CW's exclusive period to negotiate a renewal ended Jan. 31. Although no details were disclosed for a possible new home for the show, candidates might include NBC Universal, whose USA cable channel already carries "WWE Raw," and MyNetworkTV, where some affiliates aired "Smackdown" when they were UPN stations.
Television personality Pat O'Brien, a host on celebrity news program "The Insider," has checked into a rehab facility for undisclosed reasons, the TV show said in a statement on Friday.
"O'Brien and his doctors felt this is the best course for maintaining his sobriety," the statement said.
No further details were disclosed. O'Brien, a former sportscaster who became a celebrity news personality, also spent time in rehabilitation for alcohol abuse back in 2005.
Lightning rolls across the sky of Tyler, Texas as powerful thunderstorms stretch across Texas to Tennessee on Monday night, Feb. 5, 2008.
Photo by Dr. Scott M. Lieberman
In a bucolic field two miles north of Mount Vernon, beside a baseball diamond in Fort Hunt Park, Va., about 20 veterans of a secret World War II intelligence unit gathered together last year for the first time since 1946. The National Park Service was holding a ceremony to commemorate their service. The men, mostly in their eighties, had never before told their stories. During the war, Fort Hunt was a secret interrogation center, where some 4,000 German and Italian military officers, high-ranking government officials and scientists were debriefed. A few years ago, Park Rangers responsible for the area learned of Fort Hunt's critical intelligence role in recently declassified documents, and they decided to create a memorial and reunite the unit's veterans. The dedication ceremony was held over two balmy, peaceful days last October.
Col. Steve Kleinman, a U.S. Air Force Reserve interrogator, 50, who had served in Panama and both Iraq wars, was one of the speakers that fall day. In a conversation earlier this month, Kleinman said he was horrified by America's turn to what Dick Cheney has called "the dark side" in the war on terrorism: indefinite detention in the name of national security, torture in the name of intelligence collection. And so he fought against it. Kleinman joined an effort, sponsored by the Intelligence Science Board-an interagency intelligence-advisory panel-to get the intelligence community to finally renounce torture. His speech at Fort Hunt was a subtle rebuke of the use of torture, comparing the war on terrorism to an earlier era, when interrogators shunned brutality.
Suddenly, at Fort Hunt that October day, a veteran approached Kleinman. "I never laid a hand on one of my prisoners," the older man said. "That allowed me to do my job and retain my humanity." Kleinman was moved. "I thought, when's the last time I heard an interrogator concerned about that?" he recalled.
Many interrogators today are, in fact, concerned about that. But the program that developed within the Central Intelligence Agency after 9/11 has left the intelligence community playing a fateful role. Surprising as it may be, the CIA has never really been in the interrogation business. After 9/11, it turned its back on its own limited history of interrogations and never consulted those in the U.S. with solid experience in that difficult art. Even in the seven years since it has built an interrogation capability mostly from scratch, the agency has never applied the best practices in behavioral science to improve its regimen. The result has been to privilege brutality out of ignorance, which, according to many experts and insiders interviewed, means that interrogation practices that produce faulty information are now at the very heart of the U.S. efforts against a mysterious and still-unfamiliar enemy.
In short, despite innumerable statements from the Bush administration about the value of the CIA's interrogation program, U.S. interrogators are still mostly in the dark-in the dark not only about al-Qaeda, but about how to effectively elicit vital national-security information from the detainees in its custody.
A leatherback turtle has been tracked swimming from the coast of the Papua province in Indonesia to Oregon, researchers said, in what may be the longest trip for marine vertebrae between breeding and feeding sites.
"This is an animal perfectly suited for doing this kind of journey," said Scott Benson, research fishery biologist for the U.S. National Marine Fisheries Service, who helped track the turtle and presented details of the journey at a sea turtle symposium last month.
The longest distance of nine turtles tagged in 2003, Benson said, was the leatherback that reached Oregon and then headed to Hawaii before the battery on the satellite transmitter gave out. The 12,774-mile journey took 647 days, he said.
You have reached the Home page of BartCop Entertainment.
Make yourself home, take your shoes off...
Go ahead, scratch it if it itches.
The idea is to have fun.
Do you have something to say?
Anything that increased your blood pressure, or, even better,
amused or entertained?
Do you have a great album no one's heard?
How about a favorite TV show, movie, book, play, cartoon, or legal amusement?
A popular artist that just plain pisses you off?
A box set the whole world should own?
Vile, filthy rumors about Republican musicians?
Just plain vile, filthy rumors?
This is your place.
