• Jimmy Durante wanted to confess his sins, so he called Father Bob Perella to come to his apartment, which as usual was filled with Jimmy’s friends. When the priest arrived, Jimmy’s friend, Fatso Marco, asked the priest what he wanted to drink, then Father Bob and Jimmy went into the bedroom so Jimmy could confess his sins. A few minutes later, the door opened and Fatso brought the priest a drink. Jimmy hollered, “What are you doing? Can’t you see I’m making my confession?” Fatso replied, “Just because you got problems, the priest has to go dry?”
• Grantland Rice and humor writer Ring Lardner once shared a hotel suite in Chicago. Mr. Rice was writing articles each day, so he had to work pretty hard. However, Mr. Lardner was writing a weekly column, so he was able to take it easy. For much of the week, Mr. Lardner sat in the hotel suite, drinking and staring at a print on the hotel wall—the print showed a horse-riding competition: the Grand National. At the end of the week, while they were leaving the suite, Mr. Lardner turned to Mr. Rice and said, “Granny, the jock on the second horse isn’t even trying.”
• Who drummer Keith Moon was one of Monty Python member Graham Chapman’s drinking buddies, but he was not always a good friend. Once, Mr. Chapman needed money. As the two were walking, they saw a dustbin filled with garbage. Keith took approximately £2,000 out of his pocket, stuffed it in the bottom of the dustbin, and forced Mr. Chapman to dig through the garbage to get the money.
• When lesbian comedian Judy Carter came out to her mother, she made the mistake of getting drunk first. This meant that she kept stammering and couldn’t find the words to tell her mother that she was gay. After hearing a lot of stammering, her mother asked, “Judy, is it you want to tell me you’re gay?”
• Deanne Stillman, writer and coeditor of Titters: The First Collection of Humor by Women, was once asked where she thought she would be in five years. She replied, “Out to get a beer.”
Animals
• At Cornell, practical joker Hugh Troy pulled a notable stunt with the aid of an accomplice. One morning, after a light snow had fallen on the greens of Cornell, Hugh and a friend took a wastepaper basket that had been made out of the foot of a rhinoceros and tied it to the middle of a clothesline so that they were able to lift the foot, then drop it to make a footprint without leaving their own footprints nearby to reveal the practical joke. The next morning, the footprints were discovered, and the zoology professors of the university identified them as belonging to a rhinoceros. The professors followed the footprints to a lake. The footprints continued on the ice of the lake, but disappeared where a gaping hole was in the ice.
• Bob Denver once appeared in a comic Western. In one scene, several very loud blanks were to be fired from a gun held very close to a horse’s head. Mr. Denver was worried that the horse would rear up at the noise, but the horse didn’t move a muscle. After the scene was over, Mr. Denver asked the wrangler how he had managed to keep the horse so calm. The wrangler motioned to the horse, then said, “Stone deaf.”
• In one of Olsen and Johnson’s stage successes, Harold Ogden (Chic) Johnson walked on stage carrying a gun (loaded with blanks, of course) which he shot at the roof, after which a chicken fell to the stage and John Sigvard (Ole) Olsen told the audience, “It’s a good thing that cows don’t fly.” Mr. Johnson then shot into the rafters again, and this time a cow fell to the stage.
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (February 27, 1807 – March 24, 1882) was an American poet and educator whose works include "Paul Revere's Ride", The Song of Hiawatha, and Evangeline. He was the first American to translate Dante Alighieri's Divine Comedy and was one of the Fireside Poets from New England.
Longfellow was born in Portland, Maine, which was then still part of Massachusetts. He studied at Bowdoin College and became a professor at Bowdoin and later at Harvard College after spending time in Europe. His first major poetry collections were Voices of the Night (1839) and Ballads and Other Poems (1841). He retired from teaching in 1854 to focus on his writing, and he lived the remainder of his life in the Revolutionary War headquarters of George Washington in Cambridge, Massachusetts. His first wife Mary Potter died in 1835 after a miscarriage. His second wife Frances Appleton died in 1861 after sustaining burns when her dress caught fire. After her death, Longfellow had difficulty writing poetry for a time and focused on translating works from foreign languages. He died in 1882.
Longfellow wrote many lyric poems known for their musicality and often presenting stories of mythology and legend. He became the most popular American poet of his day and had success overseas. He has been criticized by some, however, for imitating European styles and writing specifically for the masses.
Source
Mark. was first, and correct, with:
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Randall wrote:
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Billy in Cypress said:
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Alan J answered:
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Mac Mac responded:
Longfellow
zorch replied:
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
mj wrote:
He could be wordy
So the name Longfellow suited him.
Jim from CA, retired to ID, said:
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Deborah, the Master Gardener responded:
I’m thinking it’s Henry Wadworth Longfellow. I’d forgotten about “Evangeline,” which was required reading in my (I think) high school sophomore English class.
Rain moved in overnight and it’s appropriately wet and gray out. I’ll be writing Christmas cards and baking today.
David of Moon Valley replied:
hmmmm...
…..weren’t those all written by that chap, Longfellow? Henry Something or Other, wasn’t it?
Barkeep, another round of Covfefe for the campers….
Hey Deborah MG, how about this precip, eh? Fire season is over (here), at least for this week, anyway…...
Michelle in AZ said:
H.W. Longfellow
Dave wrote:
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. I probably could have come up with that answer a few decades ago. I wonder if school children today have to read Song of Hiawatha?
Leo in Boise answered:
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow
Cal in Vermont replied:
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
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~~~~~
Info: Cover of a Tom Petty / Stevie Nicks classic.
The Futureman finds and releases only the most vital and raw recordings from the field. He asks for no thanks or special notice. However, tip your hats or raise your glasses their way: Futureman Records, The Vanguard of the People.
Predator ON IF HE WORRIES ABOUT DIVIDING THE COUNTRY: “No, I worry about the country having an illegitimate president, that’s what I worry about.”
-- ON WHETHER HE WOULD ATTEND BIDEN’S INAUGURATION: “I don’t want to talk about that.”
And where was Asshole this weekend? Yesterday, he managed to waddle onto helicopter and go to a football game. Thousands dying every day because of his failures and refusal to lead, and he went to a football game. Today? As MORE thousands died. Golf, of course.
A friend shared this article. As a woman; as an Ed,D., magnificent!
CBS opens the night with a FRESH'The Neighborhood', followed by a FRESH'Bob Hearts Abishola', then a FRESH'All Rise', followed by a FRESH'Bull'.
Scheduled on a FRESHStephen Colbert are Chance the Rapper, Christopher Walken, and Laura Benanti.
Scheduled on a FRESHJames Corden, OBE, are Kyle Chandler and Meghan Trainor.
NBC begins the night with a FRESH'The Voice', followed by a FRESH'Nurses'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Fallon are Gal Gadot, Ricky Martin, and Lana Del Rey.
Scheduled on a FRESHSeth Meyers are The Chicks, Jamie Demetriou, and Christina Aguilera.
On a RERUNLilly Singh (from 12/16/19) is Daisy Ridley.
ABC starts the night with a FRESH'The Bachelorette', followed by the FRESH'The Shot: The Race For The Vaccine - A Special Edition Of 2020'.
Scheduled on a FRESHJimmy Kimmel are Taylor Swift, Christian Serratos, and Sabrina Claudio.
The CW offers a FRESH'iHeart Radio ingle Ball 2020'.
Faux has a FRESH'LA's Finest', followed by a FRESH'Cosmos: Possible Worlds'.
MY recycles an old 'L&O: SVU', followed by another old 'L&O: SVU'.
AMC offers the movie 'Four Christmases', followed by the movie 'Elf', then the movie 'The Polar Express'.
BBC -
[6:00AM] STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE - PARADISE LOST
[7:00AM] STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE - CROSSFIRE
[8:00AM] STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE - RETURN TO GRACE
[9:00AM] STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE - THE SONS OF MOGH
[10:00AM] STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE - BAR ASSOCIATION
[11:00AM] STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE - ACCESSION
[12:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SUSPICIONS
[1:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - RIGHTFUL HEIR
[2:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - SECOND CHANCES
[3:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - DESCENT
[4:00PM] STAR TREK: THE NEXT GENERATION - DESCENT
[5:00PM - 11:00PM] LAW & ORDER
[12:00AM] ERIN BROCKOVICH
[3:00AM] THE EXORCIST
[5:45AM] MONTY PYTHON'S FLYING CIRCUS - BLOOD, DEVASTATION, DEATH, WAR AND HORROR
[6:00AM] STAR TREK: DEEP SPACE NINE - BAR ASSOCIATION (ALL TIMES ET)
Bravo has 'Below Deck', followed by a FRESH'Below Deck', then another FRESH'Below Deck', followed by a FRESH'Watch What Happens: Live'.
FX has the movie 'Girls Trip', followed by the movie 'The Hangover Part III'.
History has 'Pawn Stars', another 'Pawn Stars', followed by a FRESH'Pawn Stars'.
IFC -
[6:00am - 9:30am] Parks And Recreation
[10:00am - 1:30pm] Community
[2:00pm - 5:30pm] Three's Company
[6:00pm - 12:30am] Two And A Half Men
[1:00am - 3:30am] Community
[4:00am - 5:30am] Parks And Recreation (ALL TIMES ET)
Sundance -
[6:00am - 11:30am] hogan's heroes
[12:00pm] ghost
[3:00pm] footloose
[5:30pm] groundhog day
[8:00pm] ghostbusters
[10:30pm] ghostbusters ii (ALL TIMES ET)
SyFy has the movie 'Hancock', followed by the movie 'Signs'.
“The Dark Knight,” “Shrek,” “Grease,” “The Blues Brothers,” “Lillies of the Field,” “The Hurt Locker,” “A Clockwork Orange,” “The Joy Luck Club” and “The Man With the Golden Arm” are among this year’s additions to the National Film Registry by the Library of Congress.
“Lillies of the Field” star Sidney Poitier, who became the first Black person to win the Oscar for best actor, said, “‘Lilies of the Field’ stirs up such great remembrances in our family, from the littlest Poitiers watching a young and agile ‘Papa’ to the oldest – Papa Sidney himself!”
Janet Yang, producer of “The Joy Luck Club,” based on Amy Tan’s bestseller, said, “I could have never imagined, after reading a few chapters of Amy’s manuscript that eventually became ‘The Joy Luck Club’ book, that my dream of its adaptation would result in a movie that is still talked about decades later. When people tell me – and so many from so many cultures have – that the movie helped heal a rift with their family, I am immensely gratified, and it reminds me of the power of the moving image.”
The list also includes the 1943 musical “Cabin in the Sky” with an all-Black cast including Ethel Waters, Lena Horne, Louis Armstrong, Rex Ingram, and Eddie “Rochester” Anderson; the 2010 documentary “Freedom Riders” about the 1961 Civil Rights movement; the 1973 concert film “Wattstax,” featuring Richard Pryor, Isaac Hayes and the Staples Singers; and 1971’s “Sweet Sweetback’s Baadasssss Song,” which saw Melvin Van Peebles producing, directing, writing, scoring starring and financing it with his salary from directing “Watermelon Man.”
A place on the list — always made up of 25 films — guarantees the film will be preserved under the terms of the National Film Preservation Act. The criteria for selection is that the movies are “culturally, historically or aesthetically” significant. Monday’s selections bring the total to 800. This year’s selections include records of nine films directed by women and seven directed by filmmakers of color.
For the third night of their “Hanukkah Sessions,” Foo Fighters’ Dave Grohl and producer Greg Kurstin blazed through a rendition of Mountain’s classic “Mississippi Queen.”
“Talk about making a mountain out of a mohel … named Leslie Weinstein at his bris, the singer of our next band built a wailing wall of guitar as Leslie West. Check out our take on a track from Leslie’s monolithic band, MOUNTAIN,” the pair said of their latest cover.
Despite the cover serving as a celebration of West — one of Rolling Stone’s 100 Greatest Guitarists — Grohl and Kurstin don’t even attempt to replicate his six-string theatrics, with Kurstin instead playing the riffs and famed solo on a keyboard’s guitar setting. Grohl also banged away at a makeshift cowbell for the performance.
The Foo Fighters frontman previously said of the Hanukkah Sessions, “With all the mishegas of 2020, @GregKurstin and I were kibbitzing about how we could make Hannukah extra-special this year. Festival of Lights?! How about a festival of tasty LICKS! So hold on to your tuchuses… We’ve got something special coming for your shayna punims. L’chaim!!”
Film and TV mogul Tyler Perry has donated $100K to the legal defense fund of Kenneth Walker, the boyfriend of Black medical worker Breonna Taylor who was died in her own home at the hands of Louisville Metro Police Department plainclothes officers Jonathan Mattingly, Brett Hankison, and Myles Cosgrove. Mattingly, who was shot in the leg by Walker during the botched raid, sued him for assault, battery and emotional distress back in October.
A GoFundMe page was launched on behalf of Walker to help raise funds for the legal battle against Mattingly. Perry’s generous donation were made in four separate transactions on Sunday afternoon to help the fund surpass its $100K goal.
“It’s outrageous for one of the men partially responsible for all that, to sue the man who endured it,” said the GoFundMe page. “The raid that killed Breonna Taylor was poorly conceived, nightmarishly executed, and hastily covered-up. The subsequent grand jury proceedings were farcical and staged. Daniel Cameron’s statements were disingenuous, at best. Jon Mattingly’s lawsuit is the nearly-unbelievable next step in this ongoing mockery of justice.”
This continues Perry’s generous philanthropic efforts and giving back to the community. During Thanksgiving, Tyler Perry Studios distributed non-perishable food items and gift cards to families in need in Atlanta.
Disappointing NFL ratings are forcing television networks to restructure deals with advertisers to make up for the smaller audience, according to a Wall Street Journal report.
The time suck of the 2020 presidential election coverage that drew viewers away from NFL games, the postponements caused by the coronavirus pandemic, backlash from some fans over the league’s social justice efforts, including its embrace of Black Lives Matter, have all contributed to the viewer erosion. Ad-free streaming services were also blamed for luring away the audience, as has the overlap with other sports like basketball and hockey that traditionally have ended before the NFL season starts.
The WSJ reported that some networks have considered letting advertisers pay less for commercials during NFL games and other programming. Compounding the problem is that what’s described as “a large amount” of the remaining commercial time available in games is being given to marketers as a make-good for poor ratings. That leaves little available to be sold.
NFL advertising is a bedrock of network revenue, which means the hit could cascade problems in other areas.
Through the first 13 weeks of the season, TV and digital NFL ratings were down 7% across the broadcast and cable networks, according to Nielsen data. Viewership in the 18-49 and 25-54 demos was hit even harder.
Protesters, mostly maskless, gathered in D.C. from across the country this weekend to show their support for President Trump (R-Crooked) and express their refusal to accept the 2020 presidential election results. At one point, the crowd chanted “Destroy the GOP!” to express their anger with the party for failing to keep Trump in the White House. The rally was held just one day after the Supreme Court delivered a likely fatal blow to Trump’s hopes of remaining in power.
According to the Washington Post, thousands of protesters were in the D.C. streets for the “Stop the Steal” event on Saturday, but not nearly as many as the pro-Trump protest one month ago.
A motley crew of pro-Trump figures was in attendance, including conspiracy theorist Alex Jones (R-Certified Conman); Trump’s disgraced former national security advisor Michael Flynn (R-Quegg), who was pardoned by Trump; and former Trump foreign policy adviser Sebastian Gorka (R-Compromised). The president even flew over the gathered crowd in Marine One en route to a football game at West Point.
Flynn’s sister also attended and gave a hilarious rendition of “God Bless America” by forgetting the song’s basic lyrics.
Even minor MAGA celebrity Mike Lindell, AKA the My Pillow guy, tried to inject hope into the crowd. “Last night, about two in the morning, I got a text from [Trump lawyer] Sidney Powell’s team, and the Texas lawsuit [rejected by the Supreme Court] had nothing to do with what she’s been working hard on,” he said. “And she filed her lawsuits with the Supreme Court for Georgia, Wisconsin, Michigan and Arizona… I have seen it, the fraud is 100 percent, and Donald Trump will be our president for four more years!”
According to an analysis of the payments, millions of dollars from the taxpayer-funded COVID-19 Paycheck Protection Program (PPP) was given to anti-LGBTQ+ hate groups.
The data released by the Small Business Association (SBA) showed that the money had been given to groups and businesses with homophobic policies or a history of anti-LQBTQ+ advocacy.
Almost $1.4m of PPP funds went to the American Family Association based in Mississippi, which uses some of its resources to combat what it refers to as the "homosexual agenda," NBC reported.
In Virginia, Immanuel Christian School forbids "homosexual or lesbian sexual activity" and "transgender identity" among staff and students. It is where Karen Pence (R-Beard), Vice President Mike Pence (R-Deplorable)'s wife, teaches. It received $724,900, according to the Huffington Post.
Liberty Counsel, a legal organization that made headlines last year for trying to stop gay people from being protected in a federal anti-lynching bill, received $428,000 from the relief fund, NBC reported.
Indian police have arrested more than 100 workers who went on a rampage over claims of unpaid wages at a Taiwanese-run iPhone factory near Bangalore.
Footage on social media showed smashed CCTV cameras and glass panels, broken lights and a car set on fire at Wistron Infocomm's manufacturing facility.
The workers claim that they have not been fully paid for four months and are being forced to do extra shifts.
The violence broke out as about 2,000 workers from the night shift were leaving the building at Narsapura on Saturday, the Times of India reported.
Hundreds went on a rampage, ransacking the offices of senior executives, destroying furniture, assembly units and smashing glass panels and doors with rods.
It has been a bitter holiday season for the maker of foil-wrapped Hershey's Kisses. For nearly a month, a battle has been raging between the Hershey chocolate company and the West African farmers who harvest many of its cocoa beans. And it appears that the long-disenfranchised farmers may have scored a rare win.
The dispute began in November, when cocoa industry traders noticed that an unnamed source had purchased so many cocoa beans in the futures market that prices rose by more than 30 percent.
The close-knit cocoa industry quickly suspected that the buyer was Hershey. But the Coffee and Cocoa Council and the Ghana Cocoa Board were more direct with their accusations when they wrote a letter Nov. 30 to Hershey titled "Abuse of the derivatives market to impoverish the West African farmer." The groups wrote that they "have observed with great concern the actions taken by your company on the New York terminal" and accused Hershey of using "the exchange to take delivery of physical cocoa."
The two groups, which are the source of roughly 70 percent of the world's supply of cocoa beans, pushed back against Hershey for having made what they said was an improper purchase. Ivorian and Ghanaian cocoa regulators accused it in the letter of being "highly unethical and in conflict with the concept of sustainability," referring to the company's sustainability programs, which address problems in the industry like child labor abuses.
The letter said the LID aims "to improve the incomes of three million of West African cocoa farmers," and as punishment, the groups threatened to bar Hershey from running any of the sustainability programs on which the company prides itself in their countries.
If we're going to get better at powering the planet with renewable energy, we need to get better at finding ways of efficiently storing that energy until it's needed – and scientists have identified a particular material that could give us exactly that.
The material is known as a metal-organic framework (MOF), in which carbon-based molecules form structures by linking metal ions. Crucially, MOFs are porous, so they can form composite materials with other small molecules.
That's what the team did here, adding molecules of the light-absorbing compound azobenzene. The finished composite material was able to store energy from ultraviolet light for at least four months at room temperature before releasing it again – a big improvement over the days or weeks that most light-responsive materials can manage.
The azobenzene acts as a photoswitch – a molecular machine that responds to an external stimulus such as light or heat. Under ultraviolet light, the molecules change shape while staying in the MOF pore framework, effectively storing the energy.
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said:
has returned to semi-retired status.
In memory.
