'TBH Politoons'
(13 March, 2002)
Thanks, again, Tim!
Baron Dave Romm's Review
Top 11 Reasons
By Baron Dave Romm
A basic principle on Shockwave: Never make fun of one thing when you can make fun of two things. Some other guy has a top 10 list... but my lists go all the way to 11! Some of the Top 11 Lists are more appropriate to this site than others.
Here is the Top 11 List as read on Shockwave 10/12/02, the week that saw the House and Senate vote on a qualified authorization of invasion of Iraq, The GOP senate candidate in Montana bows out of the race in disgrace, the GOP gubenatorial candidate in Minnesota get fined for ethics violations, the Falwell Riots in India kill at least 5, and so on. A bad week for Bush Lite and the Republicans, a good week for Osama bin Laden. We shall see whether this was a good week for Saddam Hussein or not.
We know why George W. Bush wants to invade Iraq: To cover up his massive failure to capture Osama bin Laden or those responsible for the Sept. 11 attacks, to avoid talking about the economy or his other disastrous programs, and to wag the dog right before the election. Oh yeah, and to get rid of a madman who humiliated his father. But still, if terrorism is defined as "using fear and the threat of violence for political motives", then Bush is a terrorist and al Queda has officially won. The Brits are starting to demand a regime change... in the US. Osama bin Laden is so happy that Bush is fighting his war. Here are:
The Top 11 Reasons Osama bin Laden wants the US to invade Iraq11. Sept. 11 was about money more than religious fanaticism, and he and his family stand to make billions when oil prices go up.
10. The Bushes and the bin Ladens have been friends for so long, it's hard to say who's idea this really was anyway.
9. The more the Americans act just like he said we are, the more likely it is the arab world will rise up, with him as leader.
8. Loves to play a drinking game, and takes a shot of Tequila everytime W says "Weapons of Mass Destruction".
7. This has been a terrible week for the Republicans, and Osama is happy to have them distracted by someone else while he plots another attack.
6. Saddam Hussein keeps moving around, but it's Osama who gets hit with the roaming charges when they talk.
5. Prefers suicide pilots to SCUD missiles.
4. Was friends with Khomeni and Iranians who were invaded and slaughtered by Saddam.
3. Bin Laden family sells weaponry for both sides. Or all three sides. Or four. Whatever, they make money.
2. When Bush was in the crypt of the Skull and Bones Society at Yale, masturbating in front of his friends, he was fantasizing about Osama.
1. Saddam Hussein gets nominated for the same category in the Jihady Awards, and Osama is trying to eliminate the competition, sort of like that cheerleader's mom with the chainsaw.
Baron Dave Romm is a conceptual artist and a noble of Ladonia with a radio show, a very weird CD collection and an ever growing list of political links. He reviews things at random for obscure web sites. You can read all his music recommendations from Bartcop-E here.
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Another cool, cloud-covered day.
Forgot all about the 'Long Beach Marathon' today. Couldn't get the kid to the aquarium til much later than usual.
Just before dinner, the missing kitten, Pfaffner, showed up. He's a yellow stripe, with a pink nose & golden eyes, and longer fur than one would expect. Don't know where he was, but, he's really dirty. And 'talking' like he never has before. Figure
he has a great story he's trying to tell...
Tonight, Monday, CBS opens with a fresh 'King Of Queens', then a fresh 'Yes, Dear', followed by a fresh 'Raymond', a fresh 'Still Standing', and a fresh 'CSI: Miami' (aka: NYPDCSI: Blue)
Scheduled on a fresh Dave are Debra Messing and Pink.
Scheduled on a fresh Craiggers are Patricia Heaton and Daniel Bedingfield.
NBC starts the night off with a fresh 'Fear Factor', then a fresh 'Third Watch' and a fresh 'Crossing Jordan'.
Scheduled on a fresh Jay are Greg Kinnear, Zooey Deschanel, and the Donnas.
On a rerun Conan, the scheduled guests are Andie MacDowell, Tracy Morgan, and Cracker.
On a rerun Carson Daly (from 5/29/02), the scheduled guests are Adam Goldberg and Craig David.
ABC, of course, has 'MNF', where the boys from Seattle visit San Francisco's 49ers. Expect a fresh 'Drew Carey' and a fresh 'Whose Line' either before or after, depending on your time zone.
The WB has a fresh '7th Heaven' and a fresh 'Everwood'.
Faux has still more baseball, but only 1 game tonight. Expect fillers of the 'Simpsons', 'King Of The Hill' and 'Drew Carey'-kind.
UPN offers a fresh 'The Parkers', a fresh 'One On One', a fresh 'Girlfriends', and a fresh 'Half & Half'.
MTV fills prime time with many episodes of 'MTV Cribs'.
Anyone have any opinions?
Or reviews?
(See below for addresses)
Big Dog Watch Continues
Bill Clinton In DC, Part 2
Former President Bill Clinton laughs while attending a luncheon at the Woodrow Wilson International Center for Scholars, Wednesday, Oct. 9, 2002 at the Ronald Reagan Building in Washington.
Photo by Joe Marquette
#26
'Smiling Faces'
Touts Ron Kirk's Texas Senate Bid
Russell Simmons
Politics helped Dallas win the Hip-Hop summit.
Impresario Russell Simmons, known as the godfather of Hip-Hop, chose Dallas largely because he wanted a chance to plug Democrat Ron Kirk's Senate bid.
"It's a race we can win and it's one of the most important races coming up now," Simmons, founder of Def Jam Records, told a throng of aspiring musicians Saturday.
"He's a brother that I know can make a difference in this state and for this state," he said.
Russell Simmons
The Coolest Estate Sale Of All Time!
Forrest Ackerman
They showed up armed with empty cardboard boxes and steely determination. When the massive wooden door swung open, the crowd surged into the estate sale at the Hollywood Hills home of Forrest Ackerman,
the former editor of Famous Monsters of Filmland, a cult magazine for monster-movie fans.
In Hollywood, when the rich and famous move on, they need to clean out their attics and basements, too. And when they have an estate sale, it can be a remarkable experience for fans, collectors and passersby alike.
Ackerman, 85, liquidated the choicest goods at live auction and eBay and took a few favorites, such as a Dracula cape worn by Bela Lugosi, to his new home. The rest he put up for grabs at this weekend event.
In fact, rooms decked with paintings depicting space aliens and intergalactic shootouts quickly became bare as visitors snatched up their prizes. Patrons sorted through boxes of books mingled with monster parts,
skulls and spaceship models. They rested on sofas where Vincent Price and Leonardo DiCaprio sat before them. Ackerman, the veteran of 104 cameo roles ranging from Amazon Women on the Moon to Michael Jackson's
Thriller video, was on hand to greet fans, broker deals and autograph purchases.
''I'd rather have real fans get things than just speculators who are going to sell them on eBay,'' he says.
For some great details, Forrest Ackerman
Today Is
'World Standards Day'
A selection of national power and telephone plugs and sockets from all over the world, out of the collection of the Associated Press communications department in Frankfurt, Germany, are seen in this set-up picture
taken on Wednesday, Oct. 9, 2002. Discussions on a common standard for a power plug started back in the 1930s. But there is little prospect of a global super-plug replacing the different national versions. On every
Oct. 14 is World Standards Day to increase awareness of the 20,000 standards that exist on everything from air and soil quality control to measuring sweat resistance on a shirt.
Photo by Udo Weitz
Star Wars: Episode III
James Earl Jones
James Earl Jones has confirmed that he'll be returning as the voice of Darth Vader in "Star Wars: Episode III," if only for a few minutes. The veteran actor recently told the Toronto Sun
about a conversation he'd just had with George Lucas. "George says, 'When Anakin Skywalker goes bionic - that will be in the last five minutes of episode three - [the audience] will hear you.' "
James Earl Jones
No Longer 'On Location'
Ashleigh Banfield
MSNBC has canceled "Ashleigh Banfield: On Location," in which the Canadian newshound traveled to the world's hot spots for the cable news network.
After starting off with a respectable average of 427,000 viewers during its premiere week of July 15, "On Location" quickly lost steam, plunging to a low of 164,000 viewers for the week of Aug. 26, when she was undertaking
a five-week cross-country bus tour to chat with ordinary Americans.
It will be replaced on Monday by "MSNBC Investigates," a taped magazine hour hosted by John Siegenthaler, which has run in various time periods each weekend. Banfield will serve as alternating anchor on "Investigates."
Banfield, 34, got her big break covering the Sept. 11 attacks, and she earned rave reviews in Vogue and Cosmopolitan. But media analysts were not as kind. The Wall Street Journal described her as "unprepared,
verbose and incapable of complex analysis."
Ashleigh Banfield
Hiked For Cancer Research
Tea Leoni
Tea Leoni has been getting little sleep raising her 3-month old son and 3-year-old daughter with former "X-Files" star David Duchovny, but she still found time — and energy — to take a hike for breast cancer research.
She said it wasn't easy finishing the hike through several miles of the Santa Monica Mountains to support and raise funds for the Expedition Inspiration Fund for Breast Cancer Research.
Leoni said she wants to contribute to the fight against breast cancer because she knows too many women with the disease.
Leoni, who had a role in "Jurassic Park III," said she even signed a bra after learning that proceeds from the auction item will help the cause.
"However creative we can be to finding a cure, let's do it," she said.
Tea Leoni
In The Kitchen With BartCop & Friends
Aids Fire Victims
Juice Newton
Grammy Award winning singer Juice Newton sang for an audience seated on hay bales to raise money for this quiet Sierra town ravaged by two wildfires last summer.
"I was asked if I would come to do a show to try to raise the awareness, to raise some money," she said after Saturday's concert. "Of course I'd come. Why not? ... You've gotta help."
Newton, fighting a cold, sang for more than an hour to a crowd of about 200 in a dusty field a few hundred yards from where an air tanker crashed while fighting a June blaze, killing all three men on board.
A second fire in July burned 9,866 acres and forced the evacuation of the Topaz Lodge, a hotel-casino and recreational vehicle park on the California-Nevada line.
Topaz Lodge owners Bob and Rob Cashell organized the weekend concert and craft fair to raise money for the local Chamber of Commerce and to show that the fires had not wiped out the hamlet.
"We're all part of California, and we all are sensitive as to what can happen with fires" said Newton.
Juice Newton
Cirque du Soleil
'Alegria'
Two of the Montreal based Cirque du Soleil artists perform during a during a dress rehearsal ahead of their season of shows in Mexico City October 9, 2002. The circus will be performing their 'Alegria' show for Mexican audiences for almost two months.
Photo by Daniel Aguilar
'Rikki Lee Travolta'?
Anonymous E-Mail
An anonymous e-mail is making the rounds in Hollywood claiming that directors George Lucas and Steven Spielberg want to replace all live actors with computer-generated stars. The technology already
exists and was used by Lucas in his "Star Wars" movies. The missive alleges Lucas and Spielberg have created their first CGI star, whom they've named "Rikki Lee Travolta." More than 50 models and
actors were supposedly scanned to formulate Rikki's body and the face was created using elements from Marlon Brando, Sean Connery, George Clooney, Tom Cruise, James Dean, Alec Baldwin, Antonio Banderas,
Tom Hanks, Harrison Ford, Charlton Heston, Val Kilmer, Brandon Lee, Bruce Lee, Lou Diamond Phillips, Brad Pitt, Antonio Sabato Jr., John Stamos, Will Smith, John Travolta, Dick Van Dyke and Denzel
Washington. "That's absolutely not true," insists Lucas' rep. "We have the technology . . . but George has said he'll never replace an actor with a digital character." Spielberg's rep calls the charges "completely untrue."
Anonymous E-Mail
Escape Bus Fire
Reel Big Fish
Members of the ska band Reel Big Fish escaped unharmed when their tour bus caught fire at a truck stop.
The six band members and three crewmen were sleeping on the bus Saturday morning when the blaze started.
The band was on its way to a show at The Blue Note in Columbia, part of a five-week tour to promote its album "Cheer Up," released in July.
Bus driver Ron Mullholland noticed smoke pouring from the bus after he bought a cup of coffee at a truck stop, and alerted the band.
Trumpet player Tyler Jones said Mullholland saved his life.
"He was nice enough to come in and say, `Get off the bus, or you will all die,'" Jones said.
Reel Big Fish Escape Bus Fire
Reel Big Fish
BartCop TV!
To Head Met Opera
Beverly Sills
Beverly Sills got tired of smelling the roses.
The former chairman of Lincoln Center for the Performing Arts said Saturday that she's returning to action after six months of retirement — as the new chairwoman of the Metropolitan Opera.
Met General Manager Joseph Volpe "called me in May, just before I stepped down. And I said, 'Joe, I've got to take some time off to smell the roses. But I suddenly developed an allergy for roses," Sills said, laughing. "I don't
do well in unstructured time off. Excess energy, I guess!"
The Met's executive committee recommended the 73-year-old one-time diva to the opera house's board of directors Thursday; the board is expected to approve the decision next month.
Sills is to start her new job by the end of October, succeeding James Kinnear, who is to become honorary chairman.
Beverly Sills
Metropolitan Opera
Syria
Palmyra
A symbolic trade caravan representing the prosperous trade during the era of Queen Zanobya during a show held in the ancient city of Palmyra, some 240 kilometers (150 miles) northeast of Damascus,
Friday Sept. 27, 2002. The show was organized by the Syrian Tourism Ministry on the occasion of the World Tourism Day. The two-day festival was called "on the road of Harir or (silk)". Zanobya was
the Queen of Palmyra between 260-273 AC.
Photo by Bassem Tellawi
What Keeps Him Going
Jay Leno
Jay Leno still has every nickel he's earned in 10 years hosting the "Tonight" show. In Jerry Seinfeld's new film "Comedian" - a behind-the-scenes look at the standup comedy
circuit - Leno reveals he's hoarding all those millions just in case his reign as the king of late night comes to an end. "I've never touched a dime of my 'Tonight' show
money - I live on what I make as a comedian," Leno tells Seinfeld in a backstage confessional. Quips Seinfeld, "You still live with this fear you're going to end up working
as a garbage man!" Leno replies, "That's what keeps me going."
Jay Leno
Estate Goes on Auction
Ann Landers
Letters, memorabilia and furniture from advice columnist Ann Landers' estate will go on auction next month.
The items will be included in a Butterfields Auctioneers' "Connoisseur's Sale of European & Asian Furniture, Decorative Arts & Paintings."
Among Landers' letters will be correspondence between her and former U.S. Presidents Carter, Reagan, Bush and Kennedy, and other political figures.
The auction will take place over the Internet and in the Butterfields salesroom in San Francisco on Sunday, Nov. 24.
Ann Landers
Inca Burial Site Found
Machu Picchu
Peruvian archeologists have discovered the first full Inca burial site at Machu Picchu since the famous mountaintop citadel was discovered 90 years ago, officials said on Saturday.
"It's important because nothing like this -- a burial site and all that goes with it -- has been found since the Bingham era," Machu Picchu's administrator, Fernando Astete,
told Reuters, referring to the U.S. explorer Hiram Bingham who rediscovered the Inca citadel in 1911.
Machu Picchu, which was built more than 500 years ago, is Peru's top tourist attraction and a U.N. World Heritage site, drawing some 500,000 foreign visitors a year.
The Spanish conquerors of Peru never stumbled upon Machu Picchu, near the southern Andean city of Cusco, some 684 miles southeast of Lima, and the site was only discovered when
Bingham and local guides came across the vegetation-covered ruins.
Astete said well-preserved ceramics, including a stone pan and clay pot, as well as bronze pins, a mirror and clasps, were found in the burial site.
For more, Machu Picchu
Time To Secede?
San Fernando Valley
Daniel Rico carries a case of tomatoes, freshly-picked from land leased by the Tapia Brothers in the basin of the Sepulveda Dam, seen at rear, in the Sherman Oaks district of the
San Fernando Valley, currently a part of the city of Los Angeles, on Wednesday, Sept. 25, 2002. Agriculture, which dominated Valley life at the beginning of the last century, has
steadily given way to development as the population more than doubled every decade for much of the 20th century. Now farming survives mainly on land that cannot be used for homes
or businesses, such as this area subject to occasional flooding. The continually evolving area attached to the northern end of Los Angeles for more than two centuries will possibly
transform once again when Los Angeles voters cast make their choice Nov. 5 on secession measures involving the valley and Hollywood.
Photo by Reed Saxon
'The Osbournes'
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 3
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 2
'The Osbournes' ~ Page 1
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