Baron Dave Romm
Star Trek
By Baron Dave Romm
Shockwave Radio Theater podcasts
SPOLER ALERT
I'm about to discuss aspects of the movie that give away plot and twists. If you don't want to know, please skip over this review to the next incredibly informative part of Bartcop E. Thank you.
A brief review
On the Shockwave Radio Theater scale of 9 to 23, with 23 top, I give the new, cordite-smelling Star Trek about an 18. A lot of it didn't work for me. though the good outweighs the bad. The rebooting requires not merely a suspension of disbelief but a suspension of nostalgia. I can live with that. A longer, snarky spoiler-filled review follows in the next section.
A longer rant
I found the JJ Abrams Star Trek to be incredibly stupid, with a lot of fun stuff. The fun stuff outweighs the stupid stuff, but not by that much. The plot doesn't make sense: I hate stories driven by psychos who have incredibly more power and smarts than the heroes. They're not just evil and unpredictable, but their actions don't have to be logical. That works for Criminal Minds, sometimes, but not Star Trek. Much of the plot is driven by wild coincidences, a lack of thinking things through or just bad writing: How did Kirk wind up meeting Spock Prime? Why can't the Federation send a Terminator Mark 1701 (or whatever) back in time to stop Nero before he kills Kirk's father? For that matter, why didn't Nemo simply go back in time to warn Romulus/Spock of the coming problem and prevent the planet from being destroyed? Was Abrams inspired by Gene Roddenberry or Donald Rumsfeld?
The original Star Trek very much a cold war epic. Ostensibly Wagon Train To The Stars, much of the conflict was recognizably the US vs. the Soviet Union. Equally powerful antagonists (or equally impotent in the face of the unknown) make their way in a hostile/undiscovered universe. Kirk & co. must not only survive, but make friends. In the mid-1960s right after the assassination of JFK and in the midst of the cold war, Star Trek reflected much of the politics of the time and was aimed for an audience who was living through those times. William Shatner played Kirk as an homage to JFK, a warrior turned statesman, a man of action who had to pause to pick the right words to make peace when all around him people clamored for war.
Attempting an update doesn't bother me. Times have changed. The original series is still available, and 40 years is a long time to be a legend. TOS was post Cuban Missile Crisis and the new one is post 9/11. The Aughts reimagining is 24 Lite. Fine as far as it goes, but still requires internal consistency.
It will probably work. We live in a world where batshit insane partisan hacks make more money than people who work for a living. Idiots would rather watch someone be Punk'd than listen to an intellectual discussion that lasted more than five minutes. Being "elite" is bad; being a "victim" is good. Our heros are flawed. No more Camelot, it's Dirty Harry time again. The old Kirk followed the rules, bending them without breaking them, to go boldly. The new Kirk gets beat up, is allergic to medicine and doesn't always get the girl. If the old Kirk was modeled after JFK: A war hero and reluctant politician; the new Kirk is loosely based on James Dean: A rebel with a cause. The only thing the two have in common is that they cheat on tests.
Again, merely updating a series doesn't bother me. Doing so poorly does bother me. If you're going to update a well-known set of characters, you need to make them more mythic than the originals. The best part of The Last Action Hero is Schwartzenegger's "Hamlet Is Back": "To be or not to be... not to be." BOOM. Abrams isn't that clever. Instead of well-trained, battle-tested military personnel exploring the unknown, we have a bunch of hotshots who are more lucky than smart, more brash than disciplined, more driven by personal demons than loyal to Earth. The new, car-stealing idiot Kirk rejects the usual route for a rising star in Starfleet. Pike lays out "in four years you'll graduate and in eight you'll be captain", and Kirk brashly insists he'll do it in three. He does, but it feels artificial. He doesn't have experience and he didn't study to know the capabilities of the Enterprise. The new crew feels like Muppet Babies: Bones is younger, Scotty is wild and doesn't know the ship. (What, the flagship isn't like a PC where the young hotshots can do things the experienced pros can't?) Spock's parents don't use his full name, but he uses Uhura's. Checkov wasn't introduced until season 2 but starts off with the rest. Everyone else gets field promotions to Captain or First Officer while Uhura still a Lt. Doesn't seem fair.
And rebooting the entire background means you don't have a tradition to build on, and you don't have the well-developed background for the characters. Aren't you sad that Pike doesn't find his True Love on the "Menagerie" planet but still has to be in a wheelchair? Will Spock Prime alert Starfleet to the extinction of whales and completely eliminate the need for ST IV? And what about Naomi?
What about the "Mirror, Mirror" universe? The Organian peace is still to be negotiated. Will the Borg make an appearance? In the timeline of the new alternate universe, Enterprise still exists in the past. Will Frakes make the next movie? *shudder* Somehow, I doubt JJ Abrams thinks that far ahead.
The design of Nero's ship was stupid: No guard rails. Sheesh. Spaceships whooshed through airless space. Energy weapons ricochet with a ping. Experienced captains blithely warp into a trap. No one talks on their cell phone. The crew hasn't been assembled; they're aboard the Enterprise largely by accident. Maybe I missed the explanation, but why was Spock Prime in the new universe at all? If Nero wanted Spock Prime to see the destruction of Vulcan, he might have made the next step and tried to save Romulus. But no.
Much of the weaknesses are drawn out afterwards, when the explosions stop and you have time to think. While watching the movie, the action washes over you. Everyone's a red shirt and billions of faceless people dying are part of the... fun.
The action never lets up. We see lots of death and destruction (though no blood, except from Kirk being beaten up) and bodies flying out into airless space. Oh Starfleet! Familiar lines crop up for the youngsters who only know the soundbites. Lots of humor, much of it frat boy jokes. Leonard Nimoy shows up to provide what little transition there is between the old and new Trek. (Personally, I find this hysterically funny: Nimoy spent years trying to get out of Spock's shadow, going so far as to write an autobiography, I Am Not Spock. Now, he embraces his three seasons of playing a Vulcan, and is the last of the originals to be a major part of the series.) Majel Barrett gets her due. Alien races abound, and Frank Oz seems to have taken over the future.
We finally have a futuristic technology that has invented the circuit breaker. Sexual mores are looser; nice to see miniskirts back. No one mentions money or religion or anything controversial... except the destruction of entire planets and the creation of an alternate history.
Star Trek is action/adventure and nothing more. To be fair, it's only one movie. In theory, if this one does well then others will happen. I have mixed feelings about future Treks in this universe. On one hand, I'm not a big Abrams fan and I find his rebooting far less interesting than the original. On the other hand, I like action/adventure and can get caught up in mindless violence tempered with witty repartee.
Wrapping Up
The original Star Trek -- all of them, up to now -- wasn't about geeks, they were for geeks. The new one has accepted geeks and nerds as equals in a world of frat boys, jocks, smart sexy women and other aliens. Science fiction fandom has won again. As a geezer geek, I look over a world I helped create and smile. And then put in a DVD to watch an HD version of an old movie with commentary and deleted scenes. I love living in the future.
Baron Dave Romm is a conceptual artist and a noble of Ladonia who produces Shockwave Radio Theater, writes in a Live Journal demi-blog maintains a Facebook Page, plays with a very weird CD collection and an ever growing list of political links. Dave Romm reviews things at random for obscure web sites. You can read all his music recommendations from Bartcop-E. Podcasts of Shockwave Radio Theater. Permanent archive. More radio programs, interviews and science fiction humor plays can be accessed on the Shockwave Radio audio page.
Thanks to everyone who has sent me music to play on the air.
Recommended Reading
from Bruce
MICHAEL HILTZIK: "In-N-Out: Can perfection" survive?(latimes.com)
My life as a fast-food consumer pretty much ended the moment my kids became old enough to drive themselves to the nearest hamburger stand. But even back then I knew that all such chains could be divided into two categories: There was In-N-Out, and there was everybody else.
Actual U.S. Unemployment: 15.8%(washingtonpost.com)
This morning's news that U.S. unemployment has hit 13.7 million, pushing the rate to 8.9 percent, tells only half the story of this recession. The total number of Americans who are not working full-time but ought to be is actually about 22 million, or 15.8 percent, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.
George Harris: I woke up with a Russian accent (guardian.co.uk)
My friends called an ambulance, and as the doctors wheeled me into surgery they said I'd had a brain haemorrhage .
Froma Harrop: Health Care: Will Democrats Ride Camel or Horse? (creators.com)
A camel, the old saying goes, is a horse made by committee. We don't want camel health reform. We don't want Washington lawmakers debating whether it should have one hump or two. We want a horse - a sleek machine that performs with efficiency.
SUSAN ESTRICH: A Mother's Job (creators.com)
"You have so much responsibility. It's just hard work all the time," said Bristol Palin, the new spokeswoman for the Candie's Foundation to prevent teen pregnancy, at an "Event to Prevent" town hall on Wednesday. I've got news for you, Bristol. It gets worse. Little kids, little problems. Big kids, big problems. Or at least big worries.
MARILYNN PRESTON: What Came First? The Good Egg or the Bad Egg? (creators.com)
One big fat reason Americans tend to eat more and weigh more than other citizens of the world is because the media has spoon-fed us so many confusing and contradictory health and nutrition messages over the years.
Joe Weider: Finding the Perfect Workout Order (creators.com)
Tip of the Week: When working out, do that which you like least first or else you might not do it at all.
Alexis Petridis: Rock on with Village People (guardian.co.uk)
Before the Village People, homoerotic symbolism of uniforms was lost on the general public; after, no one ever looked at a mustachioed policeman in quite the same way.
This column will change your life (guardian.co.uk)
Laugh all you like, says Oliver Burkeman, index cards are pretty cool.
Richard Roeper: 'Star Trek' has good twists and turns, and bad ones
The new "Star Trek" is an early summer thrill ride filled with gorgeous special effects, energetic performances from a talented young cast, a classic cameo from one of the original stars and enough in-jokes to satisfy hard-core Trekkers without the rest of us feeling left out. Plus Winona Ryder as Spock's mom, are you kidding me?!
Hubert's Poetry Corner
Missile from Nenoksa
The gristle of missal of a missile non epsitle! Cause to bristle? This'll!
The Weekly Poll
The 'Take Me out to the Ball Game' Edition
"For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; the flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land."
Ernie Harwell, radio and TV voice of the Detroit Tigers for 42 years and Baseball Hall of Fame member, would intone those words at the start of the first Spring Training game broadcast every year... Ah! Baseball's back! Batter Up!
Are you a baseball fan and, if so, who's yer team? (anecdotes welcome)
Send your response to
Results tomorrow
replied:
Alan J A-10 | L-10
Charlie A-9 | L-10
DC Madman A-1 | L-1
Gary G A-0 | L-1
Jim from CA A-2 | L-2
Joe S A-10 | L-10
Sally A-10 | L-10
MAM A-10 | L-10
Maria in Chicago A-6 | L-6
Marian the Teacher A-9 | L-9
Sandra in Maine A-0 | L-0
Tom B A-0 | L-0
Reader Suggestion
Street Prophets
Check this out:
Click here: Street Prophets: Faith-Based Government & American Indians
Michelle in AZ
Thanks, Michelle!
BadtotheboneBob
'Save The Frogs'
Scientists are airlifting dozens of one of the world's largest frogs off of Montserrat island to save them from a deadly fungus devastating their dwindling habitat. The dense forest of the tiny British Caribbean territory is the last remaining stronghold of the endangered mountain chicken frog, a 2-pound, frying pan-size amphibian that got its name because locals say its meat tastes like - you guessed it - chicken.
Frogs flown from Montserrat to flee deadly fungus
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
More marine layer, followed by a sunny afternoon.
Media Awards
GLAAD
Laverne Cox isn't on the road with Sean Combs, but the outspoken transgender person has picked up an outstanding reality show trophy at the 20th annual GLAAD Media Awards.
Cox was a contestant on VH1's "I Want to Work for Diddy," which tied with the Logo transgender dating series "Transamerican Love Story" for the award presented by the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation.
Other winners at the Saturday ceremony included Logo's "East Side Story" for outstanding television movie and PBS' "In the Life" for outstanding TV journalism. "General Hospital: Night Shift" actor Chad Allen received the Davidson/Valentini Award, which is named after Craig Davidson, GLAAD's first executive director, and his partner Michael Valentini.
"Milk" screenwriter Dustin Lance Black and "Pursuit of Equality" filmmakers Geoff Callan and Mike Shaw were also recognized. Previously announced GLAAD winners included "Milk" for outstanding film, "Desperate Housewives" for outstanding comedy series, "As the World Turns" for outstanding daily drama and comedian Kathy Griffin for the Vanguard Award.
GLAAD
Space Shuttle Mission
Basketballs
Space shuttle Atlantis will carry a pair of basketballs when it rockets away on a repair mission to the Hubble Space Telescope. Liftoff is scheduled for Monday afternoon.
One of the balls belongs to the Harlem Globetrotters. It was deflated to save room inside the shuttle, which is jammed with spacewalking gear and new telescope parts.
The other is a century-old ball on loan from the University of Chicago that was once handled by the man the Hubble Telescope is named after. Astronaut John Grunsfeld, an alumnus who will serve as the chief telescope repairman, is taking it up.
Edwin Hubble - the astronomer for whom the space telescope is named - tossed the ball around in a 1909 victory against Indiana University. The 6-foot-2 Hubble was a star forward on the University of Chicago's Big Ten champion teams of 1907-1908 and 1908-1909.
Because the old ball did not have an air valve, Grunsfeld cut it open and discovered it was filled with fiber packing material. The stuffing was removed so the ball would take up as little room as possible aboard space shuttle Atlantis.
Basketballs
Ohio Shows
Leno
In a region stung by layoffs and the pullout of a major employer, comedian Jay Leno was good for a few laughs.
The host of "The Tonight Show" put on a free stand-up performance Sunday for 4,000 people as part of his "Comedy Stimulus" tour.
Wilmington, a city of about 12,000 residents, has drawn national attention as a vivid example of the economic struggles of small U.S. communities during the recession. The main presidential candidates discussed its plight last year.
Leno, who also has performed free comedy concerts in the recession-wracked Detroit area, spent 75 minutes delivering jokes at the Roberts Centre. He drew cheers from the crowd as he wrapped up the show, the first of two scheduled, saying he was just trying to get some laughs and cheer people up.
Leno
Baby News
Baby Boy Maguire
The wife of "Spider-Man" star Tobey Maguire has given birth to the couple's second child, a boy.
People.com reports that 31-year-old Jennifer Meyer gave birth to a baby boy on Friday. Maguire publicist Kelly Bush on Sunday confirmed the birth but gave no other details.
Meyer is the daughter of Ron Meyer, president and chief operating officer of Universal Studios.
Baby Boy Maguire
Backs Pigboy
Cheney
Unindicted war criminal and unabashed racist Dick Cheney made clear Sunday he'd rather follow the impotent drug-addled firebrand broadcaster Rush Limbaugh than former Joint Chiefs chairman Colin Powell into political battle over the future of the Republican Party.
Even as Cheney embraced efforts to expand the party by ex-Govs. Jeb Bush of Florida and Mitt Romney of Massachusetts and the House's No. 2 Republican, Virginia Rep. Eric Cantor, the former vice president appeared to write his one-time colleague Powell out of the GOP.
Asked about recent verbal broadsides between Limbaugh and Powell, Cheney said, "If I had to choose in terms of being a Republican, I'd go with Rush Limbaugh. My take on it was Colin had already left the party. I didn't know he was still a Republican."
Cheney
200 New Species Found In Madagascar
Frogs
Scientists have found more than 200 new species of frogs in Madagascar but a political crisis is hurting conservation of the Indian Ocean island's unique wildlife, a study shows.
The discovery, which almost doubles the number of known amphibians in Madagascar, illustrates an underestimation of the natural riches that have helped spawn a $390-million-a-year tourism industry.
The world's fourth-largest island, known for exotic creatures such as the ring-tailed lemur and poisonous frogs, is a biodiversity hotspot.
More than 80 percent of the mammals in Madagascar are found nowhere else, while all but one of the 217 previously known species of amphibian are believed by scientists to be native.
Frogs
Records Broken At Auction
Tintin
Tintin mania swept a Belgian auction house on Sunday with almost 600 lots associated with Herge, creator of the famous cartoon reporter, breaking national and world sales records, an expert said.
The sale in Namur, southern Belgium, dominated by five large hand-drawn pages of original cartoon strips, raised 1,172,000 euros (1.57 million dollars), including charges, -- a world record for Herge-associated items and a cartoon strip book record in Belgium, said Thibaut Van Houtte, an expert on hand for the Rops auction house sale.
"It went well over even our upper pre-auction estimate of 650,000 euros," he said.
Tintin
Features Surprise Rodin
Champlain Memorial Lighthouse
More than 10,000 campgrounds dot the American landscape. But only at the state-run campground in this remote Lake Champlain town can you find a Rodin sculpture on public display just steps away from campers pitching tents and grilling burgers.
A bronze plaque created by Auguste Rodin a century ago will soon be returned to its place on the Champlain Memorial Lighthouse, slated to reopen this spring after a more than $2 million restoration project that included conserving the French sculptor's "La France."
The 25 1/4-inch-by-21 1/2-inch bas-relief bust depicting a woman - reputed to be Rodin's model and mistress, Camille Claudel - was donated by the French government when the memorial was completed in 1912. The plaque was removed from the 72-foot-tall granite monument last year when crews began cleaning the memorial to French explorer Samuel de Champlain.
While similar versions of the Rodin bust exist, it's safe to say no other campground in the United States can lay claim to artwork created by a sculptor considered one of the greatest of the modern era, said Charles Vandrei, historic preservation officer for the state Department of Environmental Conservation, which operates the campground.
Champlain Memorial Lighthouse
Weekend Box Office
`Star Trek'
"Star Trek" beamed itself up to the top of the box office, earning $76.5 million in its opening weekend.
Director J.J. Abrams' reboot of the beloved sci-fi franchise made $72.5 million from Friday through Sunday, plus $4 million just in pre-midnight screenings Thursday, the studio said Saturday. That cumulative figure includes a record $8.2 million in IMAX showings.
As expected, last week's top film, "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," came in at No. 2 with $27 million. The prequel to the "X-Men" franchise, starring Hugh Jackman as the mutant who slices and dices his enemies with his metal claws, has made nearly $129.6 million in two weeks.
Estimated ticket sales for Friday through Sunday at U.S. and Canadian theaters, according to Hollywood.com. Final figures will be released Monday.
1. "Star Trek," $72.5 million.
2. "X-Men Origins: Wolverine," $27 million.
3. "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past," $10.45 million.
4. "Obsessed," $6.6 million.
5. "17 Again," $4.4 million.
6. "Next Day Air," $4 million.
7. "The Soloist," $3.6 million.
8. "Monsters vs. Aliens," $3.4 million.
9. "Earth," $2.5 million.
10. "Hannah Montana: The Movie," $2.4 million.
`Star Trek'
In Memory
Evgenios Spatharis
Evgenios Spatharis, a Greek master of shadow puppet theatre, has died days after sustaining injuries in a fall, a state news agency reported Sunday. He was 85.
Spatharis died Saturday at an Athens hospital, where he was being treated after falling from a staircase Wednesday while he was on his way to a performance. No details have been given about the type of injuries he suffered.
He was well-known throughout Greece for his puppet theatre stories revolving around the hunchbacked character "Karagiozi," who came to represent the virtues and vices of the average Greek. Cunning and rebellious against authority, Karagiozi was often shown as a liar and petty thief who worms his way out of difficult situations.
The stories, deeply satirical, featured a varying cast of characters whose accents and mannerisms poked fun at various people in Greek society. Authority figures were represented by a Turkish pasha.
Shadow theatre, now a dying art form in Greece, is thought to be from China or India and arrived in Greece when it was part of the Ottoman Empire from the mid-15th century until the late 1820s. For decades after Greece won independence in 1829, shadow theatre was the only organized form of public entertainment.
Spatharis was born Jan. 3, 1924, and followed his puppet master father, Sotirios Spatharis, into the craft.
From his first performance in 1942, he worked until the end of his life, most often as a solitary performer manipulating his puppets behind a small semitransparent screen.
Evgenios Spatharis
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