Recommended Reading
from Bruce
Helaine Olen: Please run for president, Jamie Dimon. This liberal Democrat is begging. (Washington Post)
It must be so hard to be Jamie Dimon and watch Donald Trump in the White House. Every day, he watches someone so many view as a blow-hard ignoramus who inherited his money run the country. Meanwhile Dimon, who sees himself as a hard-working striver running the largest bank in the United States - and who earned his millions the honest way - is, in the end, just another chief executive.
Helaine Olen: Trump didn't drain the swamp. Supporters are starting to notice. (Washington Post)
Here's the thing about campaigning as an outsider, as Donald Trump did in 2016. If you win the election, you are the person in charge. You are expected to accomplish what you said you would do, or make a darn good effort to do so. And come the next election, it's all but impossible to pose as an outsider. It defies common sense. If the man in the White House is an "outsider," then the term has lost all meaning.
Helaine Olen: The GOP's cowardice problem (Washington Post)
We are, apparently, supposed to entrust our fate as a nation to a group of White House staffers so brave, so courageous, so willing to accept the consequences of their beliefs, they can't even come together publicly, using their names and prestige to make the case. Instead, they carp anonymously and, according to Bob Woodward's book "Fear: Trump in the White House", resort to sneaking problematic documents off of Trump's desk when he's not in the Oval Office. I've met third-graders who demonstrate more courage.
Helaine Olen: Republicans' health-care suicide mission (Washington Post)
At the same time, support for broader health-insurance reform is surging. Medicare-for-all, you might recall, was viewed as a radical position as recently as two years ago. Now polls show a majority of Americans now back Medicare-for-all, with a KFF survey from earlier this year finding a majority of Republicans support opening up Medicare to all comers as long as they could choose to keep their employer insurance instead.
Paul Waldman: Donald Trump is moving us toward gender equality. No, really. (Washington Post)
Trump's "election was the catalyst for the #MeToo movement, which has begun the difficult and painful work of changing the culture of workplace (and non-workplace) harassment that women have had to endure for pretty much all of history. It might have happened eventually, but Trump certainly accelerated the process. Likewise, the extraordinary influx of women into the political process is in no small part a reaction to Trump.
Tom Danehy: Tom remembers that one time he gave Burt Reynolds a great idea (Tucson Weekly)
I told him, "Imagine there's some guy watching TV in Billings, Montana late one Saturday night. He's channel surfing when he comes upon The Longest Yard. It's the start of the climactic game between the cons and the guards, so he settles in to watch. Everything goes as he remembers, but on the last play of the game, as quarterback Paul Crewe leaps toward the end zone, he gets hit in the air, doesn't score, and the Mean Machine loses the game. The guy watching it on TV stares at his can of beer and says to himself, 'Every time I watch this movie, I coulda sworn he scored that touchdown!'
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Presenting
Michael Egan
Reader Suggestion
Michelle in AZ
from Bruce
Anecdotes
• When the Middleroad Friends Meeting in Springport, Indiana, renovated its bathrooms, it was a big deal, and the Quakers attending the meeting decided to celebrate. First, a nicely varnished plunger-the Plunge Ahead Award-was presented to the clerk. Second, the meeting's sole doctor member presented the meetinghouse with a bunch of old magazines for reading purposes. Third, brass plates-one showing a woman's bonnet and the other showing a man's broad-brimmed hat-were put on the relevant doors. Four, there was a ceremonial cutting of a roll of toilet paper. Fifth, two children-a boy and a girl-performed ceremonial flushes. And finally, there were tours of the facilities. Often, Quakers are thought to be overly solemn, but obviously, that stereotype is not true of the Middleroad Friends Meeting.
• Glyndebourne was a huge manor house in England. Because of worries about war in 1939, John Christie, the owner of Glyndebourne, had offered it as an evacuation center for London children. One day, buses arrived from London, and approximately 300 children and 72 adult caretakers got off the buses. Large as it was, Glyndebourne was unable to house that many people, and eventually the number staying there was lowered to 100. In the meantime, because of the lack of restroom facilities, Rudolf Bing, who helped manage the music festivals held at Glyndebourne, went into town and asked Woolworth's if it stocked chamber pots. Fortunately, it did, and he caused a sensation by buying six dozen.
• During World War I, Charles MacArthur, who was later a famous playwright and screenwriter, was forced to suddenly take refuge from the explosions of enemy bombs. Unfortunately, he had the bad luck to dive headfirst into an abandoned German latrine. Still, he was optimistic, thinking to himself, "MacArthur, this is the lowest point of your life. From here on, everything has got to be an improvement."
• Once, when he knew she would be dressed, actor Bruce Laffey knocked on comedian Beatrice Lillie's door and started to open the door. He was surprised when she slammed the door shut in his face. When she opened the door a few moments later, she was throwing perfume in the air. Mr. Laffey asked what was wrong, and Ms. Lillie told him, "I just farted."
• At a hotel in Buffalo, New York, a couple of members of the Merce Cunningham dance troupe had a large can of sardines for breakfast on the eighth floor. They ate all but five of the sardines, which they then flushed down the toilet. On the first floor, dancer Sandra Neels went to the ladies room. Floating in a toilet bowl were two of the sardines.
• Sir Henry Irving once sat through an amateur production of Shakespeare's Twelfth Night-a production that had no intermissions. Immediately following the play, he was asked his opinion of the production. He replied, "Capital! Capital! Where's the lavatory?"
• Mrs. Patrick Campbell certainly loved her dog. When a taxi driver accused her dog of making a puddle in the back of his taxi, Mrs. Campbell rose to the defense of her pet by claiming, "Idid it!"
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Bonus Links
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Reader Comment
Current Events
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We are all only temporarily able bodied.
Thanks, Linda!
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
READ THE STOLEN STUFF.
"SUNDAY AMONG THE LUTHERANS".
"PROPER OPOSSUM MASSAGE."
WHO LET THIS JERK OUT OF HIS CAGE?
DONALD (JACKOFF) TRUMP.
Visit JD's site - Kitty Litter Music
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
If you've ever thought about sending Marty a love offering this would be an excellent time.
Boss Revenge, Self-Colonoscopy Studies Win
2018 Ig Nobels
Anyone who's ever been so furious with their boss that they feel like exacting revenge really needs to listen to Lindie Liang.
Liang and her colleagues found that abusing a virtual voodoo doll instead of your boss will make you feel better without getting you fired or thrown in jail, a study that earned them a 2018 Ig Nobel, the annual prize sponsored by the science humor magazine Annals of Improbable Research for comical but practical scientific discovery.
Winners recognized Thursday included a Japanese doctor who devised a revolutionary new way to give yourself a colonoscopy; a British archaeology lecturer who figured out that eating human flesh isn't very nutritious; an Australian team that found that people who buy high tech products really can't be bothered with the instruction manual; and Spanish university researchers who measured the effects of shouting and cursing while driving.
The prizes at the 28th annual ceremony at Harvard University were being handed out by real Nobel laureates. The event featured a traditional paper airplane air raid and the premiere of "The Broken Heart Opera," performed with the help of Harvard Medical School cardiologists.
The winners, who as usual journeyed to Massachusetts at their own expense, also received a cash prize of $10 trillion virtually worthless Zimbabwean dollars. Each was given 60 seconds to deliver an acceptance speech before an 8-year-old girl complained onstage: "Please stop. I'm bored."
2018 Ig Nobels
Headlining Beto O'Rourke Rally
Willie Nelson
Willie Nelson is supporting Democratic candidate Beto O'Rourke in the Texas Senate race, and now some former fans are no longer singing his praises.
The music legend announced on Wednesday that he'd be headlining a Sept. 29 rally in Austin for O'Rourke, and Nelson made a point to mention that it will be the first public concert he has held for a political candidate, according to Austin360.com.
Nelson said the U.S. representative "embodies what is special about Texas, an energy and an integrity that is completely genuine," in a press release announcing the rally.
But when Nelson linked to the Austin360 story on his own Facebook page, some fans were angry that the "Red Headed Stranger" was voting like a Blue Stater.
Nelson has supported O'Rourke in the past and even invited him onstage at his annual July 4 picnic to play guitar for set-closing renditions of "Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die" and "Will the Circle Be Unbroken."
Willie Nelson
Yoko, Ringo, and Jeff
'Bed-In'
It was a blast from the past at City Hall Thursday.
Yoko Ono, Ringo Starr, Jeff Bridges and more joined Mayor Bill de Blasio, City Council Speaker Corey Johnson to stage a Beatles-themed "bed-in" to support New York City schools.
It's part of the fifth annual "Come Together: NYC" event, which marked the return of the John Lennon Educational Tour Bus, a mobile production facility that "provides hands-on creative experiences to students of all ages."
This year's theme was "activism." Students gathered and sang "Give Peace A Chance," carrying signs saying "Hair Peace," "Bed Peace," and "Imagine Peace" - all a recreation of John Lennon and Yoko Ono's famous "bed-in" protests of the Vietnam war in 1969.
'Bed-In'
Launching Late Night Show Archive
Conan O'Brien
Conan O'Brien has announced that he will be launching a archive of his late night shows.
It's slated to roll out in January on a new "state of the art" website that "has about everything I've ever done in late night."
The host has also shared the very first episode of "Late Night with Conan O'Brien," in honor of the 25th anniversary since it debuted.
Recently, Conan revealed that his late night show on TBS will cut its regular musical performances starting in January. "I was looking for something more lean and agile," Conan explained.
Conan O'Brien
Victim Comes Forward
'The Predator'
The underage victim at the center of The Predator scandal has come forward to identify herself.
Last week it was revealed that the film's director, Shane Black, cast a registered sex offender and personal friend, Steve Wilder, in the movie to shoot a scene with Olivia Munn. In 2010, Wilder pleaded guilty to two felonies - risk of injury to a child and enticing a minor by computer - and ultimately served six months in prison. The girl, who was age 14 at the time of the incident and known only as "Jane Doe," contacted the Los Angeles Times to reclaim her identity. Her name is Paige Carnes, and she is now 24 years old.
"My purpose in making this statement is to reclaim my identity," Carnes begins. "Sexual abuse makes people uncomfortable. It should make you uncomfortable. This discomfort is nothing compared to the psychological and physical suffering of those who have dealt with it."
She continues, "I was not able to speak for myself when I was 14. The consequences of this abuse are profound and permanent for some. When the abuse takes place with a child, it is even harder to overcome. You lose trust in everyone around you, and mainly yourself. Your abuse does not define you. With support from others and strength from within, you can overcome the label of victim and reclaim your identity.
"I am also eternally grateful for Olivia Munn's action. She spoke up for me. She took a stance for me. In turn she stood for all who have suffered like I have," Carnes says. "To be acknowledged by a stranger, on a public platform about this issue is incredibly empowering. The positive feedback from social media towards Olivia Munn is uplifting and feels incredibly supportive for me personally.
'The Predator'
Next Summer
VW Beetle
After selling it on and off in the U.S. for nearly seven decades, Volkswagen has decided to squash its iconic Beetle.
The company's American unit announced Thursday that it would end global production of the third-generation bulbous bug in July of next year after offering two special editions for sale.
The compact Beetle was introduced in Germany in 1938 during the Nazi era and came to the U.S. 11 years later, where it became a symbol of utilitarian transportation often used by hippies. The iconic car sold for about 30 years before U.S. sales stopped in 1979. The last of the original bugs was produced in Puebla, Mexico, in 2003.
Volkswagen revived it in the U.S. in 1998 as a more modern "New Beetle," but it attracted mainly female buyers. The company revamped it for the 2012 model year in an effort to make it appeal to men, giving it a flatter roof, less bulbous shape, a bigger trunk and a navigation system. U.S. sales rose five-fold to nearly 29,000 in the first year, but tailed off after that. Last year VW sold only 8,627, according to Autodata Corp.
The company plans to roll out an electric version of the old Bus in 2022 called the I.D. Buzz.
VW Beetle
Plastic
Baby Turtles
Baby sea turtles are particularly vulnerable to the harmful effects of plastic pollution, according to a new study which found around half of the recently hatched reptiles had stomachs full of plastic.
In recent years, scientists have realised that animals ranging from plankton to whales are regularly consuming plastic, since around 10 million tons of it ends up in the sea every year.
Turtles were some of the first creatures ever observed consuming plastic, with reports of bags being found in their stomachs stretching back to the 1980s.
Despite the attention this problem has received, there is still very little known about the overall effect plastic is having on ocean animals.
While some plastic can pass harmlessly through animals' digestive systems, it can also accumulate and kill them by either blocking or tearing their guts.
Baby Turtles
Top 20
Global Concert Tours
The Top 20 Global Concert Tours ranks artists by average box office gross per city and includes the average ticket price for shows Worldwide. The list is based on data provided to the trade publication Pollstar by concert promoters and venue managers. Week of September 12, 2018:
1. Ed Sheeran; $13,398,617; $92.62.
2. Taylor Swift; $10,863,710; $127.13.
3. The Rolling Stones; $8,968,275; $155.26.
4. Jay-Z / Beyoncé; $6,453,138; $112.29.
5. Celine Dion; $4,782,217; $221.19.
6. Guns N' Roses; $4,127,170; $96.46.
7. U2; $3,617,679; $140.39.
8. Eagles; $3,119,623; $154.42.
9. Kenny Chesney; $2,749,397; $85.40.
10. Pink; $2,736,914; $137.51.
11. Justin Timberlake; $2,389,144; $120.35.
12. "Springsteen On Broadway"; $2,056,814; $508.70.
13. Roger Waters; $1,965,224; $101.22.
14. Dead & Company; $1,851,279; $71.04.
15. Iron Maiden; $1,696,737; $80.16.
16. Journey / Def Leppard; $1,558,021; $92.14.
17. André Rieu; $1,532,505; $90.79.
18. Depeche Mode; $1,498,295; $94.93.
19. Katy Perry; $1,481,306; $78.56.
20. Paul Simon; $1,451,357; $101.41.
Global Concert Tours
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