Recommended Reading
from Bruce
Independence Day Quizzes
Think you know American History? How about how our government works? Each year, thousands come to our country to take the Naturalization test and become citizens of the United States. Could you pass the test?
Tom Danehy: The Republicans in the Legislature have taken advantage of a perfect storm to do very bad things (Tucson Weekly)
If I ever get a chance to bargain with the Grim Reaper, my request will be simple: Just let me live long enough to see all the damage caused by this current state Legislature be undone. That ought to take me up to the next grand syzygy in 2161. (A grand syzygy is when all of the planets in the solar system are lined up on the same side of the sun. It last happened in 1982.) Among other things, living that long would give me two more opportunities to see Halley's Comet, and maybe in at least one of those opportunities, it won't suck as badly as it did in 1986.
Ted Rall: Stamped Out
The Statue of Liberty Stamp Error and the End of America.
Annie Lowrey: Heading for a McRecovery? (Slate)
McDonald's plan to hire 50,000 people in one day and what it says about America's economic prospects.
Jim Hightower: BEWARE OF THE THREE BUDGETEERS
The Budgeteers are also demanding that government workers take cutbacks. But, wait - aren't Boehner, Cantor, and Ryan workers, too? Well, yes... but, very special workers. So when they recently took our government to the brink of a total shutdown, guess who they rushed to protect? Not emergency responders, toxic waste clean-up crews, air-traffic controllers, or millions of other federal employees we count on - but, themselves.
Connie Schultz: A Server's Timely Reminder (Creators Syndicate)
For the past hour or so, a woman I've never met has been calling me "honey."
Susan Estrich: The Republican Dwarfs (Creators Syndicate)
I must admit that it took me at least a minute to figure out the Drudge Report headline: "Paw In."
David Bornstein: A Better Way to Teach Math (New York Times)
Is it possible to eliminate the bell curve in math class?
Mark Bittman: What's Worse Than an Oil Spill? (New York Times)
A year ago, the Deepwater Horizon drilling rig exploded, gushing nearly five million barrels of oil into the Gulf of Mexico before it was finally capped three months later. It was by most accounts a disaster. But when it comes to wrecking our oceans, the accidental BP spill was small compared with the damage we do with intent and ignorance.
David Bruce: Wise Up! Good Deeds (Athens News)
Ask Mark Mustian, author of "The Gendarme," who the most inspirational person he knows is, and he will say, "My father. He grew up dirt-poor in Texas during the Depression. At times some of his family lived in a tent. He served in WWII, was injured during the war and, but then sent back to the front. His commanding officer there told him he was needed because his replacements had been 'too scared.'" After getting out of the military, Mark's father went to college on the GI Bill and became an administrator at a hospital. One day one of his assistants came to him, said that a man was outside the hospital begging for food, and asked what he should do. Mr. Mustian says, "My father reached in his pocket and gave the assistant a couple of bucks and said, 'Buy the guy something to eat. I know what it's like to be hungry.'"
David Bruce has 41 Kindle books on Amazon.com with 250 anecdotes in each book. Each book is $1, so for $41 you can buy 10,250 anecdotes. Search for "Funniest People," "Coolest People, "Most Interesting People," "Kindest People," "Religious Anecdotes," and "Maximum Cool."
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Reader Suggestion
Michelle in AZ
From The Creator of 'Avery Ant'
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Largest Spider
From the 'Daily Creep-out' File...
Selected Readings
from that Mad Cat, JD
In The Chaos Household
Last Night
Overcast til very late afternoon.
Comedians Raise $750,000
Malaria No More
Conan O'Brien compared his career to Charlie Sheen's and Sarah Silverman, not surprisingly, sang a song with a foul refrain. But it was all for a good cause.
Malaria No More said Thursday that the performances at last week's "Hollywood Bites Back" comedy show helped raise $750,000 toward ending malaria in Africa.
Its Comedy Fights Malaria campaign is raising awareness that the preventable, curable disease eradicated in the United States six decades ago still kills nearly 800,000 people a year in Africa.
Celebrities such as John Mayer, Orlando Bloom, Ted Danson and Elizabeth Banks recorded public service announcements about the disease, which reached millions nationwide and culminated in the live comedy show.
Malaria No More
Opposed To Alaska Mine
Robert Redford
Hollywood star Robert Redford is speaking out against the Pebble Mine, a huge copper and gold deposit poised for development in southwest Alaska, which also hosts the world's last and best wild salmon streams.
Redford posted a blog entry Thursday morning on the Huffington Post website that says he's not against mining but is against "putting mega-mines where they don't belong."
He also is speaking out in a New York Times advertisement paid for by the Natural Resources Defense Council asking mining companies Rio Tinto and Anglo American to leave Bristol Bay alone.
Redford describes Pebble as a disaster-in-the making. But the mining companies maintain they can develop the mine responsibly and without harming fish.
Robert Redford
Litzlberg am Attersee
Gustav Klimt
An Austrian museum has decided to return a valuable Gustav Klimt painting to the grandson of its original owner, a victim of the Nazis.
Klimt's Litzlberg am Attersee landscape is estimated to be worth 20 million to 30 million euros ($29.2-43.8 million) and is one of the museum's best known pieces.
"As painful as returning this painting is for the...collection, the province and all of Austria, I believe the Salzburg government must stay on the path started in 2002 and not allow itself to benefit from a criminal regime," Wilfried Haslauer, director of the Museum of Modern Arts, said on Thursday.
Experts commissioned by the museum determined that Georges Jorisch was the rightful owner of the oil on canvas painted in 1915. Jorisch is the grandson of Amalie Redlich, whom the Nazis deported to Poland in October 1941 and murdered.
Gustav Klimt
Self-Portrait To Auction
Andy Warhol
A 1986 self-portrait by Andy Warhol that was among the last of his paintings to be exhibited while he was alive is heading for the auction block, where it is estimated to sell for up to $40 million.
The stark red-on-black "Self-Portrait" is scheduled to be sold at Christie's post-war and contemporary art sale on May 11, the auction house announced Wednesday. The owner is a private American collector who purchased it in 1996 and wished to remain anonymous.
The piece, measuring 9 feet per side, is considered a landmark work by the American Pop artist. Created toward the end of his life, it shows the artist looking directly at the viewer, his trademark hair standing straight up.
The acrylic and silkscreen on canvas was one of two 9-foot red-on-black self-portraits that were first exhibited in London in 1986, at the Anthony d'Offay Gallery, just six months before Warhol's death. The other one is at the Guggenheim Museum in New York, donated by Ann and Anthony d'Offay in 1992.
Andy Warhol
Failure Takes Down Sites Across Internets
Amazon
Major websites including Foursquare and Reddit crashed or suffered slowdowns Thursday after technical problems rattled Amazon.com's widely used Web servers, frustrating millions of people who couldn't access their favorite sites.
Though better known for selling books, DVDs and other consumer goods, Amazon also rents out space on huge computer servers that run many websites and other online services.
The problems began at an Amazon data center near Dulles Airport outside Washington and persisted into the afternoon. The failures were widespread, but they varied in severity.
HootSuite, which lets users monitor Twitter and other social networks more easily, was down completely, as was questions-and-answers site Quora.
The location-sharing social network Foursquare experienced glitches, while the news-sharing site Reddit was in "emergency read-only mode."
Amazon
Announces Resignation
John Ensign
Nevada Sen. John Ensign announced Thursday he will resign amid an ethics investigation, insisting he's done nothing wrong but saying he could no longer subject his family and constituents to further investigation.
Ensign said in a statement that he will send Vice President Joe Biden a letter Friday making the resignation official.
The Republican, who is under investigation by the Senate Ethics Committee, announced in March he would not pursue re-election.
The 52-year-old acknowledged in June 2009 that he had an extramarital affair with Cynthia Hampton, a former member of his campaign staff, and that he had helped her husband, Doug Hampton, a member of his congressional staff, obtain lobbying work with two Nevada companies.
Ensign's admission that he cheated on his wife seemingly foreshadowed his political downfall. Amid the scandal, his parents provided the Hamptons with $96,000 described as a gift, and Ensign helped find Doug Hampton a lobbying job.
John Ensign
Criticizes Beck For 'Progressive' Claim
Huckabee
Mike Huckabee is criticizing fellow Fox News Channel host Glenn Beck for calling the former Arkansas governor and potential presidential candidate a "progressive."
Huckabee released a statement Thursday criticizing Beck for calling him a "progressive" on his radio show earlier this week. Beck on Tuesday described Huckabee as someone who doesn't want to "disrupt giant government" and noted Huckabee's defense of first lady Michelle Obama's anti-obesity efforts.
Huckabee defended the anti-obesity efforts. He said Beck "seems to fancy himself a prophet of sorts."
Huckabee hosts a weekly talk show on Fox News. Beck also has a show on the channel that is to end later this year.
Huckabee
Jury Finds Mattel Took Trade Secrets
Bratz Dolls
A U.S. jury on Thursday found toy maker Mattel misappropriated trade secrets from MGA Entertainment relating to the Bratz doll line and awarded MGA $88.5 million in damages in what appears to be a stunning reversal of legal fortunes.
The battle over who owns the pouty-lipped Bratz dolls has been raging since 2004. A federal jury in 2008 ordered MGA and its chief executive Isaac Larian to pay Mattel $100 million, but a federal appeals court threw out that ruling last year.
The jury in the retrial also decided that Mattel -- makers of the rival Barbie dolls -- had not proven ownership of Bratz drawings and sculpts.
BMO Capital Markets analyst Gerrick Johnson said the failure to settle will go down as a "tremendously bad decision" by Mattel management.
"It means they wasted $400 million or so of shareholder money to get zero return," Johnson said.
Bratz Dolls
Special Rules For Special People
Mr. X
A topless model has juicy details of a six-month affair with a married soccer star. A prostitute wants to dish the dirt about a sex romp with a British actor.
But British courts have gagged the women and journalists from reporting the lurid details or the men's identities.
The cases are the latest in a series of British court orders issued to protect the privacy of public figures - usually men involved in extramarital affairs.
Press freedom and legal advocates say the public figures - and the mostly male judges issuing the gag orders - are abusing and misinterpreting European human rights law. They ask what would happen if everyone were allowed to stop everyone else from talking about them.
Mr. X
What About The Children?
"American Idol"
Steven Tyler just couldn't help himself.
Following Casey Abrams' Wednesday night performance of Maroon 5's "Harder to Breathe," the "American Idol" judge commented that Abrams brings out jealousy and anger in others because, "You're so f****** great."
The audience, which included its share of tweens and kids, was aghast, but "Idol" executive producer Nigel Lythgoe and Fox head of alternative programing Mike Darnell simply laughed it off. Executive producers Simon Fuller and Cecile Frot-Coutaz were also present for the live show as was Fox Broadcasting chairman Peter Rice.
During the commercial break, a war-room-like huddle formed at the judges' table, with Lythgoe clutching his head as he jokingly dropped to his knees.
"American Idol"
Egypt Jails Officials
Van Gogh Theft
An Egyptian court Thursday jailed five officials, including a former head of the state's fine arts department, over the theft of a Van Gogh painting worth an estimated $55 million, state media said.
"Vase with Viscaria" was stolen in August from Cairo's Mahmoud Khalil museum, home to one of the Middle East's finest collections of 19th and 20th-century art.
The state MENA news agency and court officials said the five had been found guilty of "causing the theft of the painting," without giving further details.
The painting has not been recovered.
Van Gogh Theft
Driller Temporarily Stops Operations
Fracking PA
A natural gas company has suspended "fracking" at all of its wells throughout Pennsylvania until it figures out the cause of a spill in the northern part of the state.
Chesapeake Energy Corp. said Thursday that crews have significantly reduced the flow of chemical-laced water from its out-of-control well near Canton in Bradford County.
Spokesman Brian Grove says that the exact cause of Tuesday night's breach is unknown, but that it's located in a wellhead connection.
Thousands of gallons of drilling fluids were spilled. They escaped containment, crossed over farm fields and went into a stream.
Fracking PA
Cable Nielsens
Ratings
Rankings for the top 15 programs on cable networks as compiled by the Nielsen Co. for the week of April 11-17. Day and start time (EDT) are in parentheses:
1. "Pawn Stars" (Monday, 10:30 p.m.), History, 4.54 million homes, 6.44 million viewers.
2. "Pawn Stars" (Monday, 10 p.m.), History, 4.31 million homes, 6.13 million viewers.
3. NBA Playoffs: N.Y. Knicks vs Boston (Sunday, 7:09 p.m.), TNT, 4.16 million homes, 5.98 million viewers.
4. "American Pickers" (Monday, 9 p.m.), History, 3.63 million homes, 5.17 million viewers.
5. NBA Playoffs: Denver vs. Oklahoma City (Sunday, 9:41 p.m.) TNT, 3.56 million homes, 5.03 million viewers.
6. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 10 p.m.), USA, 3.536 million homes, 5.56 million viewers.
7. Movie: "Lemonade Mouth" (Friday, 8 p.m.), Disney, 3.53 million homes, 5.69 million viewers.
8. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 10 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.43 million homes, 4.86 million viewers.
9. "WWE Raw" (Monday, 9 p.m.), USA, 3.38 million homes, 5.33 million viewers.
10. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 9:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.32 million homes, 4.65 million viewers.
11. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Saturday, 9 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 3.17 million homes, 4.23 million viewers.
12. Movie: "Lemonade Mouth" (Sunday, 8 p.m.), Disney, 3.09 million homes, 4.52 million viewers.
13. "ICarly" (Monday, 6 p.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.97 million homes, 4.06 million viewers.
14. "SpongeBob SquarePants" (Sunday, 9:30 a.m.), Nickelodeon, 2.95 million homes, 3.79 million viewers.
15. "Deadliest Catch" (Tuesday, 9 p.m.), Discovery, 2.91 million homes, 4.37 million viewers.
Ratings
In Memory
Madelyn Pugh Davis
Madelyn Pugh Davis, a screenwriter who co-created the lines and slapstick that Lucille Ball brought to life in TV's classic comedy "I Love Lucy," has died. She was 90.
Davis died Wednesday at her home in the Bel-Air neighborhood of Los Angeles after a brief illness, her son, Michael Quinn Martin, said Thursday.
Davis and her longtime writing partner, Bob Carroll Jr., crafted all episodes for the hit CBS TV sitcom's first four years before they were joined by two other writers, said Lucie Arnaz, Ball's daughter.
Davis and Carroll had worked on Ball's radio comedy, "My Favorite Husband." When the show moved to TV in 1953 as "I Love Lucy," Ball took Davis and Carroll with her and added real-life husband Desi Arnaz to the cast.
The writing duo remained with the show during its 1951-57 run and then wrote for "The Lucy Show," "Here's Lucy" and "Life With Lucy." Carroll died in 2007 at age 87.
Besides her son, Davis is survived by stepchildren, grandchildren and a great-grandchild. Services will be private.
Madelyn Pugh Davis
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